Waxing: New Moon
vashti
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon still owns him...FREE OZ!!!!
Author's Note: sequal/companion series to "Acne Scars" and "Bad Hair Day"
"So you believe homosexuality is evil."
Seraphim cocked her head to one side. "You know, Oz, when you say it like that it sounds all mean, but," a pensive look came over her face. "Yeah. Basically."
"But you don't believe homosexuals are evil."
Frowning, she asked, "Do we have to keep using the word 'evil?'"
Oz shrugged. "You would prefer…"
" 'Wrong.'"
"Okay, so you think that gayness is wrong."
Seraphim nodded. "Basically."
Oz reached for a handful of popcorn from the bowl between them. The television, mute, was all but forgotten. "But gay people aren't wrong."
"Well…" She scratched her head, further mussing her late-night hair. "That's not exactly well worded either, is it? I believe that homosexuality is a sin, and that people who practice it are sinning, but that doesn't mean that the people are evil and that they have to be quarantined or something. Or more likely, that I'm gonna quarantine myself from them. That seems pretty stupid."
"Especially considering you'd never talk to Pieter again."
Seraphim looked at him over the popcorn bowl, propped up on spare couch pillows. "That's just a nasty rumor."
"You also live in a specially constructed fantasy land, don't you?"
"Tickets to Sera-land are cheap, my friend, but for one night only," she answered solemnly.
Oz grabbed another handful of popcorn. "So doesn't that conflict with your beliefs?"
"Huh?"
"Living with a potentially gay--"
"Maybe he's just bi."
"A potentially bi-sexual man."
Seraphim shrugged. "Don't know why it should."
"There are laws--"
"Which are pretty outdated."
"So doesn't that mean that the laws about homosexuality are outdated too?"
"No."
Oz turned to Seraphim. "So it should still be legal for people to own slaves, and we should be stoned because we did the laundry this morning, on the day formerly known as Sunday?"
She frowned at him. "Of course not. Those were social laws. Homo--"
"Is a social law."
"It's more than that," she said defensively.
The look on Oz's face demanded how.
"Do you see any gays in the Bible? Well, none that survive to the end of the chapter at least. Think Sodom and Gomorrah."
"I thought Jesus said he came to do away with all the old Mosaic law."
Seraphim turned to Oz. "You know, for someone who is neither Christian nor Jewish you seem to know a lot of Judeo-Christian theory."
"Bible as Literature class."
"Ah. Okay…well that's a whole 'nother set of problems I'm not gonna get into tonight. Er, today. Whatever. What were you saying?"
"Jesus got rid of Deuteronomy."
"Right. Which is wrong. About Him getting rid of the Book of the Law. He said 'I have come to fulfill the law' not 'I have come to hijack and make it my own, muahahaha!!'"
"You think Jesus would have done a 'muahaha?'"
"I would like to think my savior had his silly moments."
Oz's eyebrows shrugged.
"Anywho, so He comes, fulfills the law and brings grace."
"Which means…"
"That if you're gay, the Christians -- the non-scary ones mind you. I can't vouch for any militant types"
"Course not. Everyone's got one."
"Is there a militant-type of Oz?"
Oz frowned. "I think that's an oxymoron."
"Huh. Where were we?"
"Jesus. Fulfill law. Grace. Christians and the Gay Man."
"Right!" Seraphim popped a handful of popcorn in her mouth, chewing thoughtfully for a moment as she stared blankly at the television screen. "Okay. So Jesus comes and dies for everyone, right--"
"Wait, go back to what you were saying about the Christians."
Seraphim turned to him. "Huh?"
"Nevermind. It'll come back up. Hopefully not literally."
Mouthing o-kay at the screen she went on. "So he dies for everyone, right? Right. He made Himself the sacrifice for all the stuff people had ever done wrong and will ever do wrong. Now some of those laws, like about not eating pork and whatnot, were partly religious and partly practical. I mean, dude, if you're eatin' Kosher you're pretty assured it's gonna be the cleanest thing this side of manna."
For a moment Oz gave her a strange look, then he nodded. "Right. Miracle bread. Wandering in the wilderness for forty years. That was pretty harsh."
"Hey, God isn't just all warm and fuzzy, He's jealous too. Anywho, on the religious bent, a lot of the stuff that the Israelites were forbidden to eat were foods offered to idol gods, so it wasn't too cool to be sitting down eating food offered to idols. Right, so--"
"Wasn't that another issue?"
Seraphim turned to Oz. "I'm just a knowledgeable Christian here, Oz, not a Bible scholar! Give a girl a break. You wouldn't ask some kid who just got his Bachelors of Medicine to diagnose you, you'd go to a Ph.D." She sat back, arms crossed over her chest.
They stared at the mute television in silence for a long time.
"I'm sorry, Sera."
Mouth in a stubborn little moue of indignation, despite being completely placated, Seraphim said, "You should be."
Oz handed her the popcorn bowl.
"Where were we?" She tossed a handful of popcorn at her mouth, then went diving for them when they mostly missed.
"Food. Mosaic law. Somehow this relates to homosexuality?"
Seraphim frowned. "Oh. Right. Uh, so after Jesus came they technically didn't need any of that stuff. I mean, there are no other gods. There's only God. So even if food was offered to the 'gods' it didn't matter because in the end it was just food, just like there's just God." She made a face as she spied the glazed look that had come over Oz. "Okay, so maybe that one does take some time to grasp."
Oz shook his head as if to clear it. "And this relates to being gay and that being wrong despite everything else being okay…how?"
"Because being gay isn't just some social custom. I mean, if God had been planning for some alt kinda relationships why weren't there four people in the garden? Two of each sex. That way the Adams and the Eves could choose which they dug more. But He didn't. There were only two of'em. And so many things are still relevant. People just like to ignore the rest of the New Testament where, by word or deed, he proves just that."
"Ookay," Oz said slowly, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. "But what about the slavery thing."
Seraphim frowned. "Well that was different then too. If you were someone's slave… Well it was more like indentured servitude. You were working off some kind of debt and you had all these rights. And after a certain period of time -- don't ask me what, I just know it's an odd number -- you were freed and all your debts were renigged." Seraphim shrugged, suddenly tired. "Is there anything to drink over by you?"
Oz bent down over the couch. "Uh, the rest of the Coke from the pizza LoAnne ordered, but I think it's flat. And water. Which looks like it might be warm."
"Hmm, which is the lesser of two evils."
"Well according to the Price Is Right crowd," Oz said, redirecting her back to the mute television, "you should go for the warm water."
"But the Coke could be the grand prize winner!"
"Trust me on the water," Oz intoned.
Grinning, Seraphim took the bottle of water, it's label having been stripped long ago. "Ah! Love that city gin."
Oz shook his head.
PING!
Half-turning to look behind her, Seraphim said, "Clothes are dry." She pushed herself up onto her knees.
"I'll get them," Oz said, standing.
"Thanks, Oz."
When he came back he motioned Seraphim to move the popcorn bowl then dumped the near-hot clothes into the vacant space. The were-cheetah flung herself on the pile. "I love, love, love the smell of freshly dried clothes."
"That's a little too much love, Sera."
She stuck her tongue out at him, straightening as he sat down to fold clothes with her.
"Hey, so Sera."
"Yeah, Oz?"
"So how do you feel about the evilness of weres?"
Groaning, Seraphim collapsed back onto the clothes, mumbling into the still warm pile, "Not tonight, Oz. Next laundry night. Please."
[in]Fin[ite]