Chapter 10
Think Twice
by: Jade
Disclaimer: Dawson's Creek
is not my property.
Author's Note: I know, this is way overdue. Saying sorry is not going to
be enough but sorry nonetheless J Am I forgiven yet?
He stopped and retraced his position two steps
back. His eyes were at a perfect angle to the diamond bracelet that he watched
sparkle through the looking glass.
"Hmmm," he absently mumbled. Then he shook his head and continued on
his way, moving the weight of his bag from one shoulder to another.
"Excuse me. Sorry," he apologized, just having avoided bumping into a
mother with a stroller, only to collide shoulders with a harried-looking man on
his way back to the office from lunch hour. "Sorry," he called out
again. The man barely heard him.
He was back in Chicago. He loved it really and he got along with the staff at
the office there but he hated to be away from her for too long. Lest his
imagination strayed-
What the hell am I thinking, he berated himself.
*****
"There's only so long you can run from
me, Joey."
She didn't even try to avoid his ambush outside her office building this time
round.
"Can we go some place?"
She silently nodded.
*****
"Okay, gang. Let's get going."
The room was already bustling with activity as Pacey came through the door and
began assembling his equipment. He was so engrossed in his task that he didn't
hear the room go silent. When he'd finished and looked up, he realized that the
star of the shoot had arrived and was getting ready to be fussed by the makeup
and costume department.
Conversation resumed once she walked through to her dressing room.
"She's pretty," he commented.
"Pretty?" One of the technical assistants on the set looked at him as
if he'd committed sacrilege. "Are you crazy, Pacey? Anna Housman is like
the most beautiful woman and the most talented actress ever to grace planet
earth."
"If you say so, Rob," he replied with his eye on the camera, checking
its lenses.
"Still not quite the one to follow the norm huh, Witter?"
He jolted slightly at the voice. Could it be? He turned around slowly.
"Hey gorgeous." She smiled that familiar smile that withstood time.
He stood there, incredulous.
"What do you want to talk about,
Dawson?" she asked wearily.
"I want to talk about us."
"There is no us."
"Fine, I want to talk about an us that was," he
snapped.
Her voice developed a jagged edge of its own. "You knew coming here was
going to cause problems and you did it anyway."
"Isn't a stable relationship, especially a marriage, supposed to survive
that?"
She shook her head in dismay and avoided looking directly at him.
"You may find it hard to believe but I didn't come with the intention of
wreaking havoc in your life. I only came because I was sure there's still
something unresolved between us. And the fact that you can't look me in the eye
just confirms that."
And to disprove his observation she gathered her courage to focus her gaze upon
him. "Dawson there's nothing there anymore. I got married. It's over."
He shook his head at her declaration. "I shouldn't have taken that job and
left you. That was the second biggest mistake I made."
She fought against the urge to ask.
He didn't hesitate to add. "The biggest mistake I ever made in this
lifetime was not asking you to marry me."
She had to look away.
He took her by her squared shoulders and turned her to face him. "Just
tell me I still have a chance and I'll wait. No matter how long it takes."
Tears welled up in her eyes. She opened her mouth but she couldn't find the
words to say, instead sobs escaped. She then cried into his shoulder as he
wrapped his arm around her and planted a light kiss in her hair.
They stayed like this on the bench even after the park became quiet of kids who
were disappearing one by one as they got called home by their mothers for
dinner.
*****
Pacey watched her expertly devour her salad.
"Andie McPhee," he said, having taken a sip of his soup. "You
disappear for almost forever and then jump right back into my line of
sight."
"Pacey Witter. You go out and get married and forget to invite me,
no less, to your wedding. And to think I used to be in love with you."
They laughed.
"You've changed," he said, after a moment's thought.
"It's the hair," she replied, patting her elegantly coiffeured do.
"I picked up some tips living in Italy so long."
"Not that."
"The clothes?" She smiled widely. "Maybe it's the
husbands."
He lifted a brow. "Sounds like you've been leading a pretty exotic
life."
She shrugged.
She didn't seem particularly anxious to elaborate on what she had been doing
for the past ten years so he didn't push. "How did you find out I was
married?"
"I have my sources," she whispered, trying to be mysterious.
"Right," he said, "Jackers."
"You spoil my fun," she complained.
He grinned. "When did you last talk to your brother?"
She waited for the waiter to clear their table before answering, "Friday.
I only got into Chicago the week before and was staying with a friend until my
own place was ready."
"That friend's Anna Housman?"
"Yes."
"Hmmm." They watched the waiter come back with their main course and
place the food before them. "Where were you then before this?"
She let out a deep breath as if she were prepping herself to make a confession.
"Drunk and married."
"Andie-"
"No, no. I'm fine now," she hurried to assure. "Anywhere has got
to be better than where they force you to take meds that make you sicker than
you first were. But thanks to my recent divorce, I can now afford this new
house of mine where I'm recuperating from the experience. So you see it's
turned out for the best."
"Why didn't you call me?" he asked quietly.
She laughed. "And what would I have told you?" She reached across the
table to squeeze his hand briefly. "You still worry too much about
me."
"Old habits die hard," he admitted.
"Damn Witter, you're still a charmer." She kept her eyes on his
somber face until he finally couldn't resist her smile. "That's
good," she encouraged. "I want to see more teeth."
*****
"I wasn't just making conversation when I
said you've changed."
"I know." She indicated to him that his ice cream was melting and he
licked up a drop threatening to slide down his cone and onto his fingers.
Andie took one last bite of hers and threw the remainder into a trash can. He
followed suit and took the napkin she offered.
"Things change. People change, Pacey. We're a lot older now. I'm no longer
a perky teenager nor are you the same person I knew in high school."
"Maybe. Maybe not."
"Cryptic," she teased.
"Maybe, maybe not," he repeated, smiling.
"Imagine my surprise," she said, "when I found out you were a
famous celebrity photographer."
"I'm not famous," he defended.
"If you say so, old friend." She switched her gaze to the harbor.
"There was only so far the pills would take me," she continued to
say. "Times were getting tougher. One day, I discovered alcohol."
"Are things better now?"
"I hope so. I think so."
"If there's anything you need, you know you can come to me."
"Maybe there is something you can do for me."
"What?" he asked anxiously.
She beamed at his seriousness. "You can tell me how on earth you ended up
married to Joey."
"I don't want to hear this, Dawson. Don't
tell it to me."
"Jen-"
"No, I don't want to become a part of this."
"Please, I just need someone to talk to. You can pretend you don't hear
me."
"Argh," she said, exasperated. "You know, sometimes I wish my
father had sent me to boarding school in Switzerland instead of Capeside to
live with Grams."
"No, you don't."
"You guys drive me nuts."
"Trust me, I wish the situation was less complicated."
"Dawson..." She paused, deliberating on whether to tell him what was
on her mind. "You and Pacey have been good friends to me for a long time.
I'm not taking any sides here, don't misunderstand what I'm about to say."
"Okay."
"The truth is I haven't seen you in ages but I've seen Pacey every other
week the last half of my life. I've been with him through college, girlfriends,
jobs...marriage. I'm not making light of your situation. But I know he's happy
with Joey, the happiest I've seen him."
"So you want me to back off?"
She sighed. "Dawson you got to try to understand." She pinched the
bridge of her nose and shut her eyes. "If he could have had it any other
way he'd want your friendship back the way it was."
"It doesn't matter anymore." He gave her a long look. "Are you
feeling all right? You're turning a little pale."
"I'm fine, I got very little sleep last night."
"I'll get you a glass of water."
He got up to go to the kitchen. The phone rang then. "Aren't you going to
get that?" he asked after a couple of rings.
Jen shook her head. The machine picked up but the caller didn't wait to leave a
message. She heaved a quiet sigh of relief and took the glass Dawson handed to
her.
"I'll leave you to rest," he said, picking up his coat. "I'll
see you soon, okay?" He leaned over and pecked her on the cheek.
"Dawson," she stopped him before he walked out. "What are you
going to do?"
"I'll wait. In the end, it's only what Joey wants that matters."
*****
She sat distractedly on the bed after her
shower, tugging at her wet strands of hair with a towel, staring at her
dresser. She walked over to it and dropped to her knees, opening the last
drawer. She took out a box and brought it back to the bed where she emptied it.
She held the photographs in her hand and looked through them one by one.
Her mouth tilted in a small smile as she grazed the blond hair of the boy
standing beside her in one picture.
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