((I know, evil Aes Sedai! Well not really, they didn't do it exactly. She
choose to enter the circles and she didn't exactly have to. Okay this
chapter is about Zarkot's Accepted ceremony. I'm not sure which one is
going to be next so I will still accept any ideas on who else should be
written about. Okay?))
Zarkot looked up from his lap. He had been staring at his lap ever since Jeriana had left the room. His thoughts were drifting easily, as they often did now. They went between Alviarin, his sister, and the One Power. He was afraid now, afraid of going mad. He didn't want to stop touching saidin, even though it felt slick as oil to him and times and full of evil. "The taint of the Dark One," he muttered as he looked up.
"Jeriana is finished," Silin announced, her hands shaking face pale and drawn. "She is finished and in her room, weeping." Her pale eyes were almost accusing as she looked at Sierin. "She was not ready," she snapped. "What she saw..it was too much for her!"
Sierin glanced at her coolly then turned her gaze upon Zarkot. "It is your turn Zarkot," she said. "Will you go?"
Zarkot stood, all traces of unease gone. "I will go," he said. He was ready for this test; he had been waiting for it for years now. Thoughts of his sister weeping he shoved ruthlessly to the back of his head. ~I have to be ready for this, mind and soul~ he thought as he walked down the stairs to the chamber. ~No matter how much I wish to comfort my sister I must get through my Test first.~
A breath of cool air caught his face as he opened the door. Inside torchlight flickered and he could see the Aes Sedai and the three rings that he had to go through. There was suddenly a lump in his throat. Jeriana almost never cried a little, much less wept. What could she have seen in there that was so horrible? He did not allow his face to show the fear he was feeling as he came up to Lyrenna Sedai.
Lyrenna did not even smile as she said, "Sorry about this Zarkot but you must be totally unclothed in order to enter the rings." Zarkot flushed slightly as he took off his clothes. He wasn't really listening as Lyrenna guided him to the first ring and spoke to the other Aes Sedai standing there. But he did hear her say, "The first time is for what was. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast."
Zarkot nodded and jumped into the first ring...
...And found himself in a dark room. ~The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.~ "Whatever," he muttered. He had odd thoughts all the time now. Voices telling him that his own sister was Black Ajah and that he should hurt her. And Alviarin, the only girl he had ever really loved in that way.
He stood up and opened the door of his room. He always kept it dark in there now, that way it was harder to see the images floating around him. In the dark the voices came less often. As he walked down the hall, his eyes dead, he found himself walking towards where the rooms of the Aes Sedai were. Where his sister was. She had been raised to the shawl only three years after her Accepted ceremony while now, five years later; he was still only an Accepted.
He raised his hand to knock at Jeriana's door and was surprised when he found himself embracing saidin, all the filthy sweetness of it. When the door opened he knocked Jeriana back with a blow of saidin. ~What am I doing?!~ a small part of his mind demanded even as he wrapped Jeriana in bonds of air and cut her off from the One Power. ~Why would I ever harm my sister?~
Jeriana stopped struggling and looked at her brother with confused eyes. "What are you doing Zarkot?" she asked carefully, as though speaking to a wild animal. "You are supposed to be in your cell, you're safe there. You know what we were going to do for you, remember?"
Zarkot shook his head at the tone. He had wanted to be in that room, it was his decision to stay in it, no one else's. The voices said...~The way back will come.~ That voice he ignored, right now he was concentrating on his sister. "I am no wild animal," he snarled. "So don't speak to me like I am. Just because I'm a lowly Accepted while you're an Aes Sedai!"
Jeriana's eyes widened. "Zarkot I, I, you're not a wild animal," she said.
A smile curled at Zarkot's lips as he said, "You think I'm one though. You can't say otherwise because you cannot lie!" ~What am I doing! Stop it, no!~
It felt like something else was taking over his mind and he was suddenly thrown against a wall and a man in all black stood in his place. His mind was clear for the first time in months and he was full of fear when he saw the man was channeling saidin and holding Jeriana up. "No!" he screamed and threw himself at the man. He slid along a smooth glass wall and felt slightly dazed. He reached out for saidin and felt himself blocked. AS he watched, helpless, his sister was twisted in the air, eyes bulging, screaming as loud as she could.
"Jeriana!" he cried helplessly. ~Be steadfast.~ The thought rolled through his head as a white arch appeared in the wall. The Accepted Test! He had to go back through the arch, but if he did then he would be leaving Jeriana. "It's not real!" he cried out as he jumped through the arch.
On the other side he didn't hear words as cold water was poured over his head. He looked at Lyrenna as she moved him and asked, "Is it real? Does it really happen?"
"No one knows," Lyrenna said shortly. She was recounting her own experience at the Test, it had not been pleasant at all. "But if it is then it is and so be it. We have life here, duty and responsibility here. The second time is for what is. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast." Zarkot nodded and walked through the stone arch.
Zarkot was leaning against Galad, his thoughts seeping through the tree even as the tree's thoughts seeped through him. ~The way back will come but once. Be steadfast~ That was not the thought of a tree. He removed his hands from the golden trunk and sighed. "What is wrong?" Lyrenna asked from behind him.
"Nothing Lyrenna Sedai," he replied. But through his mind flashed images of a smiling girl. "Except for maybe..."
"Alviarin," Lyrenna finished. "You spend too much time thinking about her and not enough time thinking about your studies. You must concentrate on your work, not your girlfriend."
"It's not really Alviarin," Zarkot said. "Okay, well, maybe it's her...but another girl stays in my thoughts right along with her."
Lyrenna's eyes went wide. "That is not a good idea Zarkot," she said. "You have enough trouble concentrating with one woman on your mind, never mind there being two!"
Zarkot looked at his feet. ~The way back will come but once~ "The other girl is Mierin," he said softly. "She keeps coming to me when I am not near Alviarin and trying to get me to take her instead. And I am tempted to."
"Mierin?" Lyrenna demanded. "That girl has never shown any interest in boys, ever. She has never once gone down to watch the Warders practice like most girls do. And I have never seen her even look at you."
"She doesn't when other people are around," Zarkot said. "And she makes me feel so guilty, so afraid of actually taking her over Alviarin. I fear that Lyrenna. I fear that almost as much as I fear..."
"Being gentled?" a lilting voice asked from the shadows. Zarkot's head snapped up and Lyrenna's swung around. Out stepped a short, heavy-set woman with pale hair and dark eyes. "Which is exactly what we are here to do, my dear Accepted boy."
Zarkot turned and began to climb up Galad but felt himself seized by heavy currents of air. "No!" he shouted as he was thrown to the ground and bound hand and foot. "Release me!" he yelled, voice rising in panic. "I am an Accepted of the White Tower! You cannot do this to me!"
"Oh yes we can," the woman replied. "Sierin Vayu has just been replaced as the Amyrlin Seat, I am the new one. And I have determined that you, Zarkot, shall be gentled as to remove the threat that you pose to the Tower."
"He poses no threat!" Lyrenna objected, her face pale. "None! He has never even showed signs of madness."
"That does not matter," the woman said and she raised her hand. Thirteen Aes Sedai came out of the woods and the glow of saidar surrounded them. Zarkot's dark violet eyes widened and his throat tightened so that not a sound could get through it. "We are taking him to the public court to be gentled."
"No you are not," a strong voice stated from behind Zarkot. Out stepped his sister, Jeriana, her lilac eyes blazing with fury yet she radiated calm. On her left was Alviarin and on her right was Liandrin. Temaile was there with a determined smile, so were Chesmal, Ispan, Moiraine, Jeaine, Marillin, and Rianna. "We will not allow you to do this to Zarkot, he is my twin and an Accepted of this Tower!"
"You are only ten," the woman scoffed. "Ten Accepted at that. We can overpower you as well. All of you show great potential, daughter. Do not throw it away on this male."
"We are linked," Jeriana said. "With Lyrenna Sedai and there are two more linked with us behind you. Leane and Siuan are more then happy to join with our cause against yours. A Red Sister has not been Amyrlin for a long time, for a good reason and we plan to dispose you." Liandrin's face was slightly sour at those words; she favored Red Ajah for some obscure reason. Yet she still stood with Jeriana to free him.
Zarkot felt himself nearly scream at his sister to leave. But his throat was still locked up, not a sound could he force from his mouth. ~Why am I so weak-willed?~ he screamed at himself. ~Fight them! Your friends fight, fight!~ Then another thought, ~The way back will come~
The women laughed at her. "We are linked as well little girl," she snarled. "And there is no way that thirteen Accepted and one Aes Sedai will be able to overpower us!"
A wind began to whip up and Zarkot could tell that it hurt the girls for their faces twisted slightly. Then as one they struck out and the woman who claimed to be the Amyrlin let out a scream. Just as quickly a she screamed the bonds around Zarkot loosened and he dropped to the ground.
"Get out of here!" Jeriana yelled at him. Even as she ordered him to go he could see her pain, they were hurting her. When she saw his hesitation she waved her hand at him. "Get out!"
Lyrenna then screamed, the first time Zarkot had ever heard her do so. She fell to the ground, eyes bulging as she clawed at her throat. It was almost as though she could not breathe. "No!" Zarkot shouted as he ran towards his mentor. "Stop it, leave them alone!"
Suddenly a wall of air hardened in front of him. He looked around for the cause and saw Alviarin watching him. "Go," she told him, dark eyes full of fear and love. "Go Zarkot, get out before they gentle you."
"No!" Zarkot shouted, struggling against the wall. But deep inside he felt a major part of himself agreeing with the girls. ~I should leave~ he told himself. ~They can handle themselves and I can be free from the Aes Sedai who want to gentle me!~ Even as he turned to go he caught sight of Lyrenna lying on the ground, all movement had stopped. Her face was nearly black and her eyes still bulged slightly. There were scratch marks on her neck where she had tried to pry away the invisible hands.
Despair filled Zarkot then as he turned to go. ~I can do nothing now, for none of them~ But then a stronger voice said ~The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.~ Zarkot turned back to the battle and saw a shimmering white arch directly behind the Amyrlin. He remembered his Test then. "But is that real?" he asked. "Or is this?"
"No choice," he declared as he started towards the arch. But a wall came in front of him again and he struggled to get through. "Release me Alviarin," he demanded. But the girl simply shook her head. "Please Alviarin," he begged as the arch began to fade. "You must release me from this, take the wall down!"
"No Zarkot," she said. "I cannot let you be gentled. I love you and you must be safe, even if I die. So go." Then she turned back to the battle.
Zarkot gritted his teeth and nearly screamed. The only way he knew of to get rid of that wall was to get rid of Alviarin. To destroy the girl he loved. "It's not real," he said to himself. "It is not real! This is just a Test and I must get back to the White Tower through that arch!"
Even as he embraced saidin to strike Alviarin down he hesitated. "It's not real," he tried to convince himself. "It is not real! This is not my Alviarin, this is not!" Yet he still hesitated. "What if she is my Alviarin and this arch is a dream?" The arch faded even more and the words sounded in his head. ~Be steadfast.~ "Oh Light forgive me!" he begged as he released the Power and Alviarin crumbled to the ground.
Tears streaming down his face Zarkot stumbled through the fading arch and his feet touched solid rock. Water was poured over his head, mixing with the tears that streamed. "You are washed clean of any misdeeds," someone intoned, he did not know who. His eyes were all for Lyrenna.
"You're alive," he whispered. "They did not kill you, you're alive!"
Lyrenna's face paled slightly as she steered Zarkot toward the final arch. "I am alive," she said faintly. "I am very much alive."
"Is it real?" Zarkot asked her. "Is what happens in there real?" Tears made fresh tracks down his face as he thought of Alviarin. "Please tell me they are not!"
"No one knows," Lyrenna replied. "It could be in another world. It could be real somewhere else."
Zarkot trembled as he thought of the third arch. But he could not stop now, no matter how much he feared what was on the other side. He would be an Accepted no matter what. "The third way is for what will be," Lyrenna said softly. "The way back will come but once. Be steadfast." Then Zarkot walked through the final arch.
Zarkot laughed happily as he watched his son, a strong young man with dark brown hair and violet eyes, explain to his younger brother how to shoot a bow. "But I want to be Aes Sedai like father!" the young boy cried in a shrill voice. ~Jacob~ Zarkot thought, ~the young one is Jacob and the elder one is Simon. But where is Alviarin, Jeriana and little Jasmine?~
"Here we are father!" a small, girlish voice called as though his thoughts had summoned her. He turned towards her and saw Alviarin, Jeriana, and Jasmine walking up to them. Jasmine was a dead-ringer for Alviarin. And Jeriana was carrying her daughter, a girl she had named Jamina who looked exactly like her. "We were gathering herbs for our supper with aunt Jeriana."
Alviarin walked up to him and kissed him before sitting beside him. She had chosen the Green Ajah when she was raised to the shawl, which had shocked many people. ~The way back will come but once. Be steadfast~ What was that thought? This was his home, this was his life. Here with his wife and children with his sister and her husband living just around the bend. The rest of their friends lived nearby; they had all created a small community once they left the White Tower because they disagreed on certain views.
"Zarkot?" Alviarin asked. "What is wrong?"
"Oh nothing," Zarkot said with a smile. "I was just thinking about something."
"Silly daddy," Jasmine said as she hummed to herself. Then she looked over at Jamina and asked, "Do you want to play?"
The serious little Jamina shook her head and said, "Not until the bad lady goes away."
Jeriana looked over at her daughter. "What bad lady, Jamina?" she asked.
"That one," Jamina said, pointing to the nearest hill. Zarkot, Alviarin, and Jeriana all stood up and gasped.
"No," Jeriana said weakly. "It cannot be her, we, we killed her!"
Zarkot felt the blood drain from his face as he made out the beautiful facial details of Mierin. "No," he whispered. "She is dead, we did kill her!"
Alviarin suddenly reared up on her ankles and began to scream. "Alviarin!" Zarkot shouted as he tried to sever the flows of whatever Mierin was using. "Jeriana, help her!"
"I can't," Jeriana said helplessly, eyes gone blank. "I cannot grasp the Power anymore. Somehow it is gone from me."
Zarkot felt a hollow spot grow in his soul. His own sister stilled when she had managed to save him so many times. He felt anger growing and lashed out at Mierin with all his might. Then, beside him, he saw his daughter clinging to Jamina, crying.
"Mother!" Jasmine cried. "Mother; father help her! Aunt Jeriana!"
Jeriana turned an empty gaze on her daughter and niece. Then she looked at Zarkot and said simply, "Why did you not save me? Why can you not save your wife and children?"
Zarkot shook his head and stumbled back. ~The way back will come~ His head snapped up as he thought of the White Tower and his Accepted Test. "This isn't real," he said to his sister. "I'm going to go back and then you will be fine, you will not be cut off from the True Source."
"Zarkot have you gone mad?" Jeriana demanded. "Save your wife and children. You couldn't save me so save them!"
"I can't!" he cried as a glimmering arch appeared. "I am too afraid too Jeriana, I am too afraid!" Then he turned and ran through the arch, the words still coming out of his mouth, "I am too afraid, I am too weak!"
((There, Zarkot is now an Accepted. He has the ring and special outfit as well. Who's up next? Wait and see!))
Zarkot looked up from his lap. He had been staring at his lap ever since Jeriana had left the room. His thoughts were drifting easily, as they often did now. They went between Alviarin, his sister, and the One Power. He was afraid now, afraid of going mad. He didn't want to stop touching saidin, even though it felt slick as oil to him and times and full of evil. "The taint of the Dark One," he muttered as he looked up.
"Jeriana is finished," Silin announced, her hands shaking face pale and drawn. "She is finished and in her room, weeping." Her pale eyes were almost accusing as she looked at Sierin. "She was not ready," she snapped. "What she saw..it was too much for her!"
Sierin glanced at her coolly then turned her gaze upon Zarkot. "It is your turn Zarkot," she said. "Will you go?"
Zarkot stood, all traces of unease gone. "I will go," he said. He was ready for this test; he had been waiting for it for years now. Thoughts of his sister weeping he shoved ruthlessly to the back of his head. ~I have to be ready for this, mind and soul~ he thought as he walked down the stairs to the chamber. ~No matter how much I wish to comfort my sister I must get through my Test first.~
A breath of cool air caught his face as he opened the door. Inside torchlight flickered and he could see the Aes Sedai and the three rings that he had to go through. There was suddenly a lump in his throat. Jeriana almost never cried a little, much less wept. What could she have seen in there that was so horrible? He did not allow his face to show the fear he was feeling as he came up to Lyrenna Sedai.
Lyrenna did not even smile as she said, "Sorry about this Zarkot but you must be totally unclothed in order to enter the rings." Zarkot flushed slightly as he took off his clothes. He wasn't really listening as Lyrenna guided him to the first ring and spoke to the other Aes Sedai standing there. But he did hear her say, "The first time is for what was. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast."
Zarkot nodded and jumped into the first ring...
...And found himself in a dark room. ~The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.~ "Whatever," he muttered. He had odd thoughts all the time now. Voices telling him that his own sister was Black Ajah and that he should hurt her. And Alviarin, the only girl he had ever really loved in that way.
He stood up and opened the door of his room. He always kept it dark in there now, that way it was harder to see the images floating around him. In the dark the voices came less often. As he walked down the hall, his eyes dead, he found himself walking towards where the rooms of the Aes Sedai were. Where his sister was. She had been raised to the shawl only three years after her Accepted ceremony while now, five years later; he was still only an Accepted.
He raised his hand to knock at Jeriana's door and was surprised when he found himself embracing saidin, all the filthy sweetness of it. When the door opened he knocked Jeriana back with a blow of saidin. ~What am I doing?!~ a small part of his mind demanded even as he wrapped Jeriana in bonds of air and cut her off from the One Power. ~Why would I ever harm my sister?~
Jeriana stopped struggling and looked at her brother with confused eyes. "What are you doing Zarkot?" she asked carefully, as though speaking to a wild animal. "You are supposed to be in your cell, you're safe there. You know what we were going to do for you, remember?"
Zarkot shook his head at the tone. He had wanted to be in that room, it was his decision to stay in it, no one else's. The voices said...~The way back will come.~ That voice he ignored, right now he was concentrating on his sister. "I am no wild animal," he snarled. "So don't speak to me like I am. Just because I'm a lowly Accepted while you're an Aes Sedai!"
Jeriana's eyes widened. "Zarkot I, I, you're not a wild animal," she said.
A smile curled at Zarkot's lips as he said, "You think I'm one though. You can't say otherwise because you cannot lie!" ~What am I doing! Stop it, no!~
It felt like something else was taking over his mind and he was suddenly thrown against a wall and a man in all black stood in his place. His mind was clear for the first time in months and he was full of fear when he saw the man was channeling saidin and holding Jeriana up. "No!" he screamed and threw himself at the man. He slid along a smooth glass wall and felt slightly dazed. He reached out for saidin and felt himself blocked. AS he watched, helpless, his sister was twisted in the air, eyes bulging, screaming as loud as she could.
"Jeriana!" he cried helplessly. ~Be steadfast.~ The thought rolled through his head as a white arch appeared in the wall. The Accepted Test! He had to go back through the arch, but if he did then he would be leaving Jeriana. "It's not real!" he cried out as he jumped through the arch.
On the other side he didn't hear words as cold water was poured over his head. He looked at Lyrenna as she moved him and asked, "Is it real? Does it really happen?"
"No one knows," Lyrenna said shortly. She was recounting her own experience at the Test, it had not been pleasant at all. "But if it is then it is and so be it. We have life here, duty and responsibility here. The second time is for what is. The way back will come but once. Be steadfast." Zarkot nodded and walked through the stone arch.
Zarkot was leaning against Galad, his thoughts seeping through the tree even as the tree's thoughts seeped through him. ~The way back will come but once. Be steadfast~ That was not the thought of a tree. He removed his hands from the golden trunk and sighed. "What is wrong?" Lyrenna asked from behind him.
"Nothing Lyrenna Sedai," he replied. But through his mind flashed images of a smiling girl. "Except for maybe..."
"Alviarin," Lyrenna finished. "You spend too much time thinking about her and not enough time thinking about your studies. You must concentrate on your work, not your girlfriend."
"It's not really Alviarin," Zarkot said. "Okay, well, maybe it's her...but another girl stays in my thoughts right along with her."
Lyrenna's eyes went wide. "That is not a good idea Zarkot," she said. "You have enough trouble concentrating with one woman on your mind, never mind there being two!"
Zarkot looked at his feet. ~The way back will come but once~ "The other girl is Mierin," he said softly. "She keeps coming to me when I am not near Alviarin and trying to get me to take her instead. And I am tempted to."
"Mierin?" Lyrenna demanded. "That girl has never shown any interest in boys, ever. She has never once gone down to watch the Warders practice like most girls do. And I have never seen her even look at you."
"She doesn't when other people are around," Zarkot said. "And she makes me feel so guilty, so afraid of actually taking her over Alviarin. I fear that Lyrenna. I fear that almost as much as I fear..."
"Being gentled?" a lilting voice asked from the shadows. Zarkot's head snapped up and Lyrenna's swung around. Out stepped a short, heavy-set woman with pale hair and dark eyes. "Which is exactly what we are here to do, my dear Accepted boy."
Zarkot turned and began to climb up Galad but felt himself seized by heavy currents of air. "No!" he shouted as he was thrown to the ground and bound hand and foot. "Release me!" he yelled, voice rising in panic. "I am an Accepted of the White Tower! You cannot do this to me!"
"Oh yes we can," the woman replied. "Sierin Vayu has just been replaced as the Amyrlin Seat, I am the new one. And I have determined that you, Zarkot, shall be gentled as to remove the threat that you pose to the Tower."
"He poses no threat!" Lyrenna objected, her face pale. "None! He has never even showed signs of madness."
"That does not matter," the woman said and she raised her hand. Thirteen Aes Sedai came out of the woods and the glow of saidar surrounded them. Zarkot's dark violet eyes widened and his throat tightened so that not a sound could get through it. "We are taking him to the public court to be gentled."
"No you are not," a strong voice stated from behind Zarkot. Out stepped his sister, Jeriana, her lilac eyes blazing with fury yet she radiated calm. On her left was Alviarin and on her right was Liandrin. Temaile was there with a determined smile, so were Chesmal, Ispan, Moiraine, Jeaine, Marillin, and Rianna. "We will not allow you to do this to Zarkot, he is my twin and an Accepted of this Tower!"
"You are only ten," the woman scoffed. "Ten Accepted at that. We can overpower you as well. All of you show great potential, daughter. Do not throw it away on this male."
"We are linked," Jeriana said. "With Lyrenna Sedai and there are two more linked with us behind you. Leane and Siuan are more then happy to join with our cause against yours. A Red Sister has not been Amyrlin for a long time, for a good reason and we plan to dispose you." Liandrin's face was slightly sour at those words; she favored Red Ajah for some obscure reason. Yet she still stood with Jeriana to free him.
Zarkot felt himself nearly scream at his sister to leave. But his throat was still locked up, not a sound could he force from his mouth. ~Why am I so weak-willed?~ he screamed at himself. ~Fight them! Your friends fight, fight!~ Then another thought, ~The way back will come~
The women laughed at her. "We are linked as well little girl," she snarled. "And there is no way that thirteen Accepted and one Aes Sedai will be able to overpower us!"
A wind began to whip up and Zarkot could tell that it hurt the girls for their faces twisted slightly. Then as one they struck out and the woman who claimed to be the Amyrlin let out a scream. Just as quickly a she screamed the bonds around Zarkot loosened and he dropped to the ground.
"Get out of here!" Jeriana yelled at him. Even as she ordered him to go he could see her pain, they were hurting her. When she saw his hesitation she waved her hand at him. "Get out!"
Lyrenna then screamed, the first time Zarkot had ever heard her do so. She fell to the ground, eyes bulging as she clawed at her throat. It was almost as though she could not breathe. "No!" Zarkot shouted as he ran towards his mentor. "Stop it, leave them alone!"
Suddenly a wall of air hardened in front of him. He looked around for the cause and saw Alviarin watching him. "Go," she told him, dark eyes full of fear and love. "Go Zarkot, get out before they gentle you."
"No!" Zarkot shouted, struggling against the wall. But deep inside he felt a major part of himself agreeing with the girls. ~I should leave~ he told himself. ~They can handle themselves and I can be free from the Aes Sedai who want to gentle me!~ Even as he turned to go he caught sight of Lyrenna lying on the ground, all movement had stopped. Her face was nearly black and her eyes still bulged slightly. There were scratch marks on her neck where she had tried to pry away the invisible hands.
Despair filled Zarkot then as he turned to go. ~I can do nothing now, for none of them~ But then a stronger voice said ~The way back will come but once. Be steadfast.~ Zarkot turned back to the battle and saw a shimmering white arch directly behind the Amyrlin. He remembered his Test then. "But is that real?" he asked. "Or is this?"
"No choice," he declared as he started towards the arch. But a wall came in front of him again and he struggled to get through. "Release me Alviarin," he demanded. But the girl simply shook her head. "Please Alviarin," he begged as the arch began to fade. "You must release me from this, take the wall down!"
"No Zarkot," she said. "I cannot let you be gentled. I love you and you must be safe, even if I die. So go." Then she turned back to the battle.
Zarkot gritted his teeth and nearly screamed. The only way he knew of to get rid of that wall was to get rid of Alviarin. To destroy the girl he loved. "It's not real," he said to himself. "It is not real! This is just a Test and I must get back to the White Tower through that arch!"
Even as he embraced saidin to strike Alviarin down he hesitated. "It's not real," he tried to convince himself. "It is not real! This is not my Alviarin, this is not!" Yet he still hesitated. "What if she is my Alviarin and this arch is a dream?" The arch faded even more and the words sounded in his head. ~Be steadfast.~ "Oh Light forgive me!" he begged as he released the Power and Alviarin crumbled to the ground.
Tears streaming down his face Zarkot stumbled through the fading arch and his feet touched solid rock. Water was poured over his head, mixing with the tears that streamed. "You are washed clean of any misdeeds," someone intoned, he did not know who. His eyes were all for Lyrenna.
"You're alive," he whispered. "They did not kill you, you're alive!"
Lyrenna's face paled slightly as she steered Zarkot toward the final arch. "I am alive," she said faintly. "I am very much alive."
"Is it real?" Zarkot asked her. "Is what happens in there real?" Tears made fresh tracks down his face as he thought of Alviarin. "Please tell me they are not!"
"No one knows," Lyrenna replied. "It could be in another world. It could be real somewhere else."
Zarkot trembled as he thought of the third arch. But he could not stop now, no matter how much he feared what was on the other side. He would be an Accepted no matter what. "The third way is for what will be," Lyrenna said softly. "The way back will come but once. Be steadfast." Then Zarkot walked through the final arch.
Zarkot laughed happily as he watched his son, a strong young man with dark brown hair and violet eyes, explain to his younger brother how to shoot a bow. "But I want to be Aes Sedai like father!" the young boy cried in a shrill voice. ~Jacob~ Zarkot thought, ~the young one is Jacob and the elder one is Simon. But where is Alviarin, Jeriana and little Jasmine?~
"Here we are father!" a small, girlish voice called as though his thoughts had summoned her. He turned towards her and saw Alviarin, Jeriana, and Jasmine walking up to them. Jasmine was a dead-ringer for Alviarin. And Jeriana was carrying her daughter, a girl she had named Jamina who looked exactly like her. "We were gathering herbs for our supper with aunt Jeriana."
Alviarin walked up to him and kissed him before sitting beside him. She had chosen the Green Ajah when she was raised to the shawl, which had shocked many people. ~The way back will come but once. Be steadfast~ What was that thought? This was his home, this was his life. Here with his wife and children with his sister and her husband living just around the bend. The rest of their friends lived nearby; they had all created a small community once they left the White Tower because they disagreed on certain views.
"Zarkot?" Alviarin asked. "What is wrong?"
"Oh nothing," Zarkot said with a smile. "I was just thinking about something."
"Silly daddy," Jasmine said as she hummed to herself. Then she looked over at Jamina and asked, "Do you want to play?"
The serious little Jamina shook her head and said, "Not until the bad lady goes away."
Jeriana looked over at her daughter. "What bad lady, Jamina?" she asked.
"That one," Jamina said, pointing to the nearest hill. Zarkot, Alviarin, and Jeriana all stood up and gasped.
"No," Jeriana said weakly. "It cannot be her, we, we killed her!"
Zarkot felt the blood drain from his face as he made out the beautiful facial details of Mierin. "No," he whispered. "She is dead, we did kill her!"
Alviarin suddenly reared up on her ankles and began to scream. "Alviarin!" Zarkot shouted as he tried to sever the flows of whatever Mierin was using. "Jeriana, help her!"
"I can't," Jeriana said helplessly, eyes gone blank. "I cannot grasp the Power anymore. Somehow it is gone from me."
Zarkot felt a hollow spot grow in his soul. His own sister stilled when she had managed to save him so many times. He felt anger growing and lashed out at Mierin with all his might. Then, beside him, he saw his daughter clinging to Jamina, crying.
"Mother!" Jasmine cried. "Mother; father help her! Aunt Jeriana!"
Jeriana turned an empty gaze on her daughter and niece. Then she looked at Zarkot and said simply, "Why did you not save me? Why can you not save your wife and children?"
Zarkot shook his head and stumbled back. ~The way back will come~ His head snapped up as he thought of the White Tower and his Accepted Test. "This isn't real," he said to his sister. "I'm going to go back and then you will be fine, you will not be cut off from the True Source."
"Zarkot have you gone mad?" Jeriana demanded. "Save your wife and children. You couldn't save me so save them!"
"I can't!" he cried as a glimmering arch appeared. "I am too afraid too Jeriana, I am too afraid!" Then he turned and ran through the arch, the words still coming out of his mouth, "I am too afraid, I am too weak!"
((There, Zarkot is now an Accepted. He has the ring and special outfit as well. Who's up next? Wait and see!))