Chapter Four
Porky lived on a big farm that raised animals. Pineapple lived on the farm too, but she lived in the house where she was always in danger of being eaten. That was why she came out to Porky's house so often. The farmer's wife would never think to look for her there. On the farm, Porky and Pineapple had lots of friends, like Buddy Buds, the dogwood tree, and Little Caesar, the mushroom. They also had animal friends, like Douglas Hancock, the mole, Doris Dimitri the frog, and Bessie Lou, the cow. No one else liked to roll in the mud though, except Porky. But everyone knew Porky was odd, so when they first saw her rolling in the mud they accepted it as just something that Porky did, because Porky was the only pig on the farm, and possibly one of the weirdest too. But when they saw, Pineapple stick a leaf in a big puddle of mud, they had no idea what to make of it.
Buddy and Caesar lived on a little hill overlooking the farmhouse, and from their viewpoint, they could see everything that happened. Well at least Buddy could. Caesar was too short. Buddy bent down to talk to Little Caesar. "Hey Caesar," he said in his deep voice. "What's Pineapple doing over there?"
"Dude!" squeaked Little Caesar. "Like, man, how should I know? Besides, dude, I can't see what you're talking about, dude."
Buddy sighed. A big heaving sigh that ruffled his leaves. "Pineapple Pineapple is over by that mud puddle, and she's sticking one of her leaves in! I think she's going to roll!"
"Dude come on man!" Said Little Caesar. Only Porky rolls, dude. You must be like hallucinating or something, man. Dude! That's another thing I never figured out, is how come that Pineapple dude's last name is Pineapple. I mean dude, really whose last name is like, you know, Pineapple?"
Buddy frowned. "I never thought about it, but by golly you're right Pineapple has the same last name as her first name!"
Little Caesar nodded knowledgeably. "Dude, of course, I'm right. Man, I'm Little Caesar dude, and like what Little Caesar says is always right, dude."
Meanwhile, Doris, Douglas, and Bessie were also watching Pineapple stick her leaf in. "My stars!" Exclaimed Bessie. "What on earth is that Pineapple doing over there!? I hope she doesn't drown!"
Doris sighed. "Puhlease, Bessie Lou, Pineapple can take care of herself."
"Nonsense!" Said Bessie. "She can't swim!" Bessie Lou was a very motherly cow, and she sounded like a mother too, a very old fashioned mother..
Douglas puffed on his pipe. "I say old chaps, if the bloody Pineapple wants to swim let 'er swim I say." Douglas was from Britain.
"In mud?" Exclaimed Bessie Lou.
Douglas straightened his cap, and puffed some more on his pipe. "Pineapples' never did have much sense, I say. Always reckless."
Doris glared at Douglas. "Pineapple's not reckless."
Bessie Lou crumpled her apron between her hoofs. "Lands sakes, I'm not going to rest until I know she won't drown!"
Porky lived on a big farm that raised animals. Pineapple lived on the farm too, but she lived in the house where she was always in danger of being eaten. That was why she came out to Porky's house so often. The farmer's wife would never think to look for her there. On the farm, Porky and Pineapple had lots of friends, like Buddy Buds, the dogwood tree, and Little Caesar, the mushroom. They also had animal friends, like Douglas Hancock, the mole, Doris Dimitri the frog, and Bessie Lou, the cow. No one else liked to roll in the mud though, except Porky. But everyone knew Porky was odd, so when they first saw her rolling in the mud they accepted it as just something that Porky did, because Porky was the only pig on the farm, and possibly one of the weirdest too. But when they saw, Pineapple stick a leaf in a big puddle of mud, they had no idea what to make of it.
Buddy and Caesar lived on a little hill overlooking the farmhouse, and from their viewpoint, they could see everything that happened. Well at least Buddy could. Caesar was too short. Buddy bent down to talk to Little Caesar. "Hey Caesar," he said in his deep voice. "What's Pineapple doing over there?"
"Dude!" squeaked Little Caesar. "Like, man, how should I know? Besides, dude, I can't see what you're talking about, dude."
Buddy sighed. A big heaving sigh that ruffled his leaves. "Pineapple Pineapple is over by that mud puddle, and she's sticking one of her leaves in! I think she's going to roll!"
"Dude come on man!" Said Little Caesar. Only Porky rolls, dude. You must be like hallucinating or something, man. Dude! That's another thing I never figured out, is how come that Pineapple dude's last name is Pineapple. I mean dude, really whose last name is like, you know, Pineapple?"
Buddy frowned. "I never thought about it, but by golly you're right Pineapple has the same last name as her first name!"
Little Caesar nodded knowledgeably. "Dude, of course, I'm right. Man, I'm Little Caesar dude, and like what Little Caesar says is always right, dude."
Meanwhile, Doris, Douglas, and Bessie were also watching Pineapple stick her leaf in. "My stars!" Exclaimed Bessie. "What on earth is that Pineapple doing over there!? I hope she doesn't drown!"
Doris sighed. "Puhlease, Bessie Lou, Pineapple can take care of herself."
"Nonsense!" Said Bessie. "She can't swim!" Bessie Lou was a very motherly cow, and she sounded like a mother too, a very old fashioned mother..
Douglas puffed on his pipe. "I say old chaps, if the bloody Pineapple wants to swim let 'er swim I say." Douglas was from Britain.
"In mud?" Exclaimed Bessie Lou.
Douglas straightened his cap, and puffed some more on his pipe. "Pineapples' never did have much sense, I say. Always reckless."
Doris glared at Douglas. "Pineapple's not reckless."
Bessie Lou crumpled her apron between her hoofs. "Lands sakes, I'm not going to rest until I know she won't drown!"