The Journal of Keledrial Nightstar

by Azurielle

Elven wizard and elven berserker, Keledrial's life has gone through one change after the next. How will he handle it all?

5. Chapter 5

I went by the wizard's guild and purchased a scroll of arcane lock, and after learning it and putting it into my spell book, I promptly cast it on every entrance into or out of the house.

       Now during this time, as I said, I had no contact with the rest of the party, beyond Lita.  She kept hinting that we should go after the shadow thieves, and I agreed, only there was nothing I could do, until the rest of the party decided to act as well.  I told Lita that she might drop by their tavern…which, by the way, they are now adding an inn part to, and drop the hint to them. 

       In the end, it didn't matter that I had not seen the party, for I finally noticed something odd going on in Waterdeep, the very next day.

       The elves had returned.

       I say returned, for, apparently, many had lived in Waterdeep, but I had never seen them until now.  Many elves had returned.  So, I stopped by a bar, where I noticed a great deal of them drinking.  They welcomed me warmly, and I asked where it was they had all come from.

       They told me…in detail, then asked how it was I could not have heard of what had been happening.

       While I was off, on foolish adventurers, Evereska had been under siege, attacked by some horrible creatures from the great desert, called Phaerim.  While, I had been wandering about, like a fool, the last elven refuge on the mainland had been attacked by great evil…and once again, I had not been there to lend aid.

       I was, needless to say, very…very angry.  And I figured that there had to be at least one person in the party who had known about it.  And in my anger, I rode out to the tavern, with the determination to beat the miserable, green-haired bard black and blue.

       Tobias seemed very shocked when I stormed into their little tavern, grabbed him by the throat, and hurled him against the wall, screaming that he should have told me, and that he'd had no right to keep such information from me.

       He gained his feet, and moved to hide behind the bar, bewildered patrons staring at the scene, even as Calvin stood up, from where he'd been sitting, demanding to know what I was about.

       To placate the paladin, I explained what had happened, about the attack.  All the while, though, I watched Tobias.  Now, I know that bards are good at feigning their reactions, but to me, Tobias seemed honestly shocked.  Almost as though he hadn't known…which was exactly what he claimed.

       "Do you think," he began, in a rising voice, "that I care so little for our people that I would not have gone to such a battle myself?!  I swear, by Hanali, I did not know!  I may not be the bravest of people, but I would have gone to Evereska's aid had I known."  And then I heard a quietly muttered comment from Calvin…I almost missed it.

       "So," he said. "It is over, then."  I spun on him in an instant.

       "You knew?" I breathed, dangerously. 

       "Of course he knew," Tobias stated suddenly.  "He worked with the military here…and they would have known."

       "How dare you hold this information from me?" I demanded.

       "It did not seem important…besides, we were already involved in a quest…one that demanded our full attention while we on it.  I could not have either of you distracted."

       "Did not think it was important?!  The last elven refuge on Faerun is attacked by Phaerim, and you did not think it was important?!" I screamed.

       "And what would you have done?  Rushed off…to your death, no doubt.  The elves were fully capable.  Your aid would not have turned the tide of the battle…which was won by the elves.

       "You know nothing!  You are a paladin!  Have you no sense of honor!  As a noble, I was honor bound to be there, and I was not!  I shall have to tell that to my queen when the time comes.  Tell her that though I am capable of battle and magic, both, I was not there to defend Evermeet, nor was I there to defend Evereska!  Damn you, Calvin!"  I raged at him.  He seemed to be thinking about things, even as Tobias took a turn ranting at the human.  I felt a bit bad at that moment, for thinking so ill of Tobias.  Finally Calvin spoke again.

       "Perhaps I was wrong in keeping the information to myself, but what would you have me do?  What do you want done about it?"

       "I would like to beat you bloody," I stated, quietly.  Then I began to think about it more.  And I realized that I could not blame Calvin.  Humans do not think of things in the way that the people do.  I can be angry at him, but I cannot fault him for his ignorance.

       "But I will not," I finally, added.  "After all…you are a human…a mere child compared to the people.  You didn't know any better, I suppose.  But there are others that did…and it is them, I must now speak with," I growled, the last.  Calvin almost seemed bewildered by the abrupt turn about in my behavior.  But, I think that I have ever confused the members of the party.

       So I returned to Waterdeep, hardly noting that Calvin and Tobias were still following me.  I guess they wanted to see this out to its conclusion…or perhaps they did not want me to kill anyone.  Not that I meant to, that is.  Strangely, I felt calm…tense, but calm.  I only wanted to ask.

       I went first to Elaith.  After a moment, the man at his bar allowed me back to speak with him.  I asked the question bluntly,

       "Why did you not tell me of the attack on Evereska?"  He did not seem at all surprised by my question. 

       "Why don't you ask that question of Celedor," was his reply.  I took a deep breath to calm the anger that rose sharply for a moment.

       "Celedor told you not to tell me?" I asked. 

       " Indeed, though in the long run, I do not think I would have told you anyhow."

       "And why is that…Elaith?" I bit out his name, showing little respect.

       "Because you would have run off blindly to help, and died for the attempt."

       "I see," was my only answer, as I turned, and left the tavern.

       Celedor's answers to my questions were very similar.  He did not think I was ready for such a battle, listing as reasons, my youth, my inexperience, and my mental instabilities. 

       "You are a child, Keledrial," he stated, in that voice he always used with me…the one where he tries to make everything sound so reasonable.

       " This was a battle for adults…you were not ready to deal with it."

       "Was I not?  So instead, rather than helping my people, this child has been chasing after mercenaries with whom I was, apparently better equipped with to "deal with."  How many was it that I killed, Tobias?" I asked the other elf, hardly noting that his eyes were wide with surprise…after all, Celedor had listed all my problems, out loud, in front of the others…not that I care any more.

       "Indeed, how many did I behead…with out taking a scratch?" I continued. Gritting my teeth.

       "I lost count," Tobias murmured.

       "But such killing, in the name of protecting humans, is certainly more…appropriate for a child of the people, who is unready for more fearsome foes, is that what you mean, Celedor?"  I had not spoken with the priest yet, on what had happened the months that I was away from Waterdeep, so he was not prepared for my descriptions.  I do not know how I must have looked to him at that moment, but in his eyes, I could almost see him reassessing his judgment.  I watched, as he realized his mistake.  After a moment, he spoke again.

       "I am sorry, Keledrial…I should have told you about what was happening.  I thought that I was doing what was best, though.  I forget that you have had to grow up faster than you should have.  And I forget that, in many ways, you are not a child."  I could think of nothing to say.  I was still terribly angry, and so upset.  It seems that everyone I dare to put my trust in, betrays me in some way.  Even my parents, for in the end, didn't they all die, and leave me to survive, alone in the world? 

Despite everything, though, I felt my anger drain from me.  It was too late, anyhow.  The attack was over.  There was nothing I could do about it.  Suddenly weary, and heart sore from all that had happened, I sighed.

       "I shall pray to Corellon for the strength to let go of my anger, and hope that he forgives me, for failing him, yet again," I said to Celedor.  With that, I walked away, leading, Lashrael by his reins.  I did not trust my emotions to stay there any longer.  I know that Celedor wished to speak more with me, but I just could not.

       So I returned home.  I pleaded with Lita to watch Sera for the night, as I was not fit company for anyone, not even my daughter. 

       It took me a long time to calm, and to relax.  It took ever longer for me to be able to write about what had happened.  The truth finally comes out.  It seems that I have only two faces that others see…to the elves I am a child, not yet to be trusted with any task of any importance.  And to everyone else…I am a monster…a dangerous, frightening being that none of them dare trust.  I cannot live like this any longer, I fear.  I do not belong here, any more than I belonged in Ruathym.  I think I will go home…soon.  I now know that the way is open to me, for many of the elves returned were only stopping in Waterdeep, on their way back to Evermeet.  The boats are sailing once more. 

       I have several things to do before I go, though.  Things I must finish, and put into order.  The first of which, will be to finish what we have started with the shadow thieves.  Tomorrow, whether they like or not, the party will roused, and we will return to Skullport to finish off the shadow thieves' guild there.  When that is done, I go my own way from the others. 

       I did not have to rouse the party after all, for the very next day, after I finished my work at the forge, Calvin was waiting for me outside. 

       "Are you ready to go after the shadow thieves?" he asked.  I nodded. 

       "I only need get my things ready, and we can go tonight."

       "Good.  I will get the others," the paladin stated.

       "Bring them to the Dancing Blade.  Lita and I will be waiting there," was my reply, as I left.  After all, there was no way that I was going all the way out to their stupid tavern, only to have to return to Waterdeep, so that we might again use the portal into undermountain.

       I did well at covering my feelings that night, acting once more the fool.  I flirted with Rosaleen, and Lita, once the others arrived, and there seemed to be nothing of the anger that Tobias and Calvin had seen only the day before.  Sera was sleeping in her pocket, with Sanhandrian.

       When the others got there, it was with a new person, they arrived.  This person was a bit odd looking, with pale, almost blueish skin, white hair, and blue eyes.  At first glance, she might have been a moon elf, but the coloring was slightly off, and her ears were rounded.  After studying the being for several minutes, and still unsure of the gender, I bluntly asked the question,

       "Are you a girl, or a boy?"  The person replied that she was female, and that her name was Jasmal, and came from the same southern part of the continent that Lita did.

       She was, apparently, a friend of Lita's, and Lita had asked her to aid us in breaking into the guild house…another thief-type I suppose.  I didn't care…so long as we got in, and finished this.

       We left shortly after dusk, and arrived at the Yawning Portal tavern.  After walking through, we arrived at roughly the same area we'd come through before. 

       The trip to Skullport wasn't nearly as eventful as the last time.  The only monsters we saw was a small group of kobolds that ran away before we could even draw our weapons.  At one point, though, we all got the sensation that we were being watched, but could find no one.  Out of curiosity, and since there was no danger at the moment, I allowed Sera out of the pocket.  Picking her up, I asked her if she could see anyone, knowing that her eyesight, as a dragon was far superior to my own.  After a moment, she pointed up, to the ceiling of the cavern we were in, and said that a "scawy man," was up there.  None of us saw anything, but she insisted, stating that the man had lots of hair on his face, and robes.  Tobias seemed to think about the description for a moment, then mentioned that it might be someone by the name of Halaster…a mad mage who believed he ruled undermountain, that was watching us.  We left the area quickly.

       As we made our way into Skullport, Lita mentioned that we would probably need a bit more help with what we meant to do.  She claimed that she knew some folk who would most likely be willing.  After a bit of arguing, and so forth, everyone agreed to try Lita's way first. 

       We spent the night in the same cave we had last time, which was blessedly free from driders this time.  We entered into Skullport, and as before the sickening evil of the place was nearly overwhelming.  Lita lead us a winding route through the city, and then out of it…to a place she called the promenade.   The statue out front of the place was my first clue that I would not like these people.  It was a large, ebony statue of a dancing drow woman.  Demanding to know just who this help was, Lita explained that the followers of Eilistraee were, for the most part, dark elves.  Calvin mentioned that the followers were known to work for the side of good.

       Drow.  Of course.  And why shouldn't we go to the bloody drow for help? I argued. I shouted. I tried to explain to them just exactly what the drow were, no matter whom they claimed to follow.  I told them all about the reason that the drow were dark.  I warned them that they were letting down their guards, only to accept a dagger in the back.  They didn't listen…none of them…not even Tobias.  In fact, my fellow elf argued that I was being foolish, and prejudiced. He added that Eilistraee was a good goddess, and the daughter of Corellon…why would she allow evil to worship her?  I was out voiced, and overruled.  They were all determined to set themselves up for betrayal.  Well, they could play nice with the drow all they wanted, but I certainly did not let my guard down.

       We went into the temple…at least I think it was a temple, and I was a bit surprised to see so many other races about. Seated at tables, eating food, and talking, were halflings and humans, dwarves, and gnomes, and even an actual elf or two.  And there were drow, of course.  Literally dozens of them were wandering about.  The sight of them had me clenching the haft of my axe, nervously, trying to suppress my instinctive rage at the dight of the dark-hearted bastards.

       We were quickly approached by a woman wearing the symbol of Eilistraee, or at least I assumed it was.  She spoke briefly with us, and then went off to fetch someone else, who would be able to aid us with the help we were requesting. 

       I was being very careful to keep my back to the wall, and trying to keep an eye on all of the black-skinned demons wandering about, so when another two priestesses approached a short time later, I missed their names.  I don't really feel like going into detail over what was said, only that I did try my best to let the drow know that I did not like the idea that we were here, and furthermore, I did not like any of them.  One them asked me if I was from Evermeet, and nodded when I snapped that of course I was, as though she suspected it all along.  The others all tried to apologize for my behavior, seeming to actually care what the dark elves thought.  I told them not to bother, for I meant what I said.

       All the same, though, I have to admit, I did feel a bit foolish, especially seeing as the drow were acting so calm and unflappable, and I was being rude, and trying to bait them into a fight.  I know the story about Eilistraee being Corellon's daughter, but honestly, if she truly was such a good goddess, and her followers so changed from the rest of the drow, why did they hide?  Why wasn't Eilistraee still part of the Seldarine?  It doesn't add to me, so I don't care what the story, I won't trust a drow.

       After the two women, one with long, silver hair, agreed to give us the help we needed, in the form of a distraction to draw most of the shadow thieves' attention, we were invited to stay at the temple, rest a bit, and have something to eat.  I refused of course, but once again all the others decided to stay, having put their trust into the drow for some reason.  Fine…they'll trust a group of bloody drow, but not me.  I am done with their lack of common sense and foolishness when we finish down here!

       After finding a seat in a corner, up against a wall, I relaxed a bit.  Food was brought to us, and I sneered something about how it was probably poisoned.  The others ignored me, for the most part, and started eating their own food.  Lita grabbed the bowl away from me, and took a bite of the porridge-like substance.  I watched her for a good few minutes, and she showed no signs of ill effects.  She mentioned that the cook was halfling, and she was certain that a halfling had no reason to poison me.  Though it pained me to do so, I was hungry, and Sera came out of the pocket at that moment, crying that she hungry, as well. 

       Though it looked unappetizing, the food wasn't actually too awful…kind of like berry-flavored mush.  Sera liked it well enough, and a few bites was all it took to fill me up.

       We rested for a few hours, preparing spells, and potions, and a plan to get in.

       I don't know what time we left to go about our business, but we arrived at the shadow thieves' guild without incident.  We were all invisible, the effect achieved by both spells and potions.  Lita and her friend, Jasmal found a hidden entrance into the building, that we had not noticed the last time we'd been down here.  As we entered the building, we heard a loud commotion out front, and assumed the people the drow had working for them had begun their distraction.

       Once again, I quickly lost track of where we were going in the maze of corridors that comprised the guild house.  Lita and Jasmal were being very careful to disarm the dozens of traps we encountered on our way in. They only missed one, a pit trap, we managed to avoid, anyhow. We walked past several shadow thieves, as well as a pair of ½ orcish guards, who seemed to be guarding a door.  Then, we came upon a familiar door.  This time, we entered without knocking.

       Handrax looked up, but this time, we gave him no time to talk.  We attacked immediately.  My first hit cleaved through his head, but a moment later, the body dissolved, as though it were made of shadows.  Over by the desk, we saw the real Handrax.  He grinned at us, and pulled out an arcane looking dagger, and muttered a word.  A strange cloud of purplish smoke came from the dagger, and surrounded Handrax.  We all attacked, firing and slicing into the smoke.  Several times, bolts flew from the smoke, striking members of the party.  One hit me in the shoulder, and I felt the disgusting sensation, of shadow magic about it.  I yanked it from my shoulder quickly, hoping that there had not been any type of poison on in, and continued the attack.  I felt my axe connect several times, and from behind me, the others shot arrows and cast spells.  A few of the arrows did not hit the wall behind the desk, so I had to assume that they had hit Handrax instead.  I struck again, and this time I must have hit Handrax's dagger arm, for the dagger went flying into a corner of the room, and the smoke dissipated.  Suddenly, Lita was there, and before I had a chance to attack again, she had wrapped that horrible, barbed, garrote around Handrax's throat, and began to pull on it.  She yelled for the rest of us to stop our attacks, and since it seemed she had things well in hand, we did so.  Lita whispered something into Handrax's ear, and I don't think anyone else heard her…but I did.

       "Where is she?" Lita had demanded.

       "Why should I tell you?" Handrax sneered.  I grabbed a handful of Handrax's hair, and twisted his face around to me.  I wasn't certain what it was Lita was looking for, but I would help out, just to get this over with.

       "Oh, I think you should.  Lita will kill you quickly, if you do…I'll kill you slow, if you don't," I growled.  I guess he believed me.  He offered to lead the way. I informed him, that any treachery on his part would result in more pain than I think he was willing to take.

       He led us back to the door with the two½ orcs.  They both raised their weapons, but lowered them quickly when they saw whom we had as our hostage.  We were admitted into the room, and Lita handed me the garrote, as she took a set of keys from one of the guards.

       The room was dark, lit only by a few wall sconces.  Inside, the room was small, and there were chains on the wall.  The chains were attached to shackles, and the shackles were fitted around the wrists of a small, human, girl, no more than five or six years of age.  The little girl had dark hair, and wide green eyes.  She was dirty, and thin, as though she'd not eaten well in a while.  She looked up as we walked in, and as soon as she saw Lita, she burst into tears, and cried,

       "Mommy!"  I looked over to Lita, surprised.  She hadn't mentioned a word about this.  Lita ran over, and unlocked the shackles, kicking the chains aside, as she hugged the child.  A moment later, she returned to the rest of us, the child quieted, for the most part.

       "Keeping secrets, Lita?" I asked, softly. 

       "And you don't?" Was her only reply.  I had a sneaking suspicion there was more to what was going on here than met the eye, but explanations would have to wait until later.  I quickly offered to allow Lita's daughter to share the pocket with Sera.  It would be a tight fit for a while, but she would be safer with Sera, than she would be otherwise.  Lita seemed reluctant to release the little girl, but seem to agree with the logic.  I showed the girl how to climb into the pocket.  She seemed a bit afraid, and looked at Lita, with a questioning gaze.  Lita assured her that it was all right, and I told Sera to be nice, as the little girl vanished into the darkness. 

       With her daughter safe, Lita turned her attention back to Handrax.

       "You bastard," she hissed, grabbing the garrote back from me.  " I let her have it, and took a step back.

       "Bloodscalp sends his greetings.  You should not have strayed…and you never should have taken my daughter!" She stated, and then yanked on the garrote with all her strength.  The wire was so sharp, her anger so great as to make her stronger in that moment, that she all but decapitated Handrax, with only the bones of his neck keeping it attached.  The two half-orcs immediately attacked, but the others had been ready for such an event, and the guards died within seconds.

       We took anything that looked worthwhile from Handrax's body.  I was given a strange look as I finished removing Handrax's head, and took it with us.

       We returned to the office, and rifled through Handrax's desk, looking for anything important.  We did find a few gems, and some encoded papers, that seemed important, so we took that with.  Lita then stated that we should, leave, and quickly, before the murder was found out, and we had more shadow thieves than we cared to deal with attacking us.  Ranon asked why we were running, if we were supposed to be killing all of the thieves.  Lita replied that we didn't have to kill any of them, that killing Handrax was enough to break the guild here.  The thieves would scatter, with their leader gone.  Then she handed me a scroll, and said to cast it.  I scanned the contents, and saw that it was a scroll of invisibility that would cover a ten-foot radius.  I grumbled about how I would have rather scribed it into my spell book, but cast it anyhow.  On the way out, I grabbed some parchment, ink, and large poker from a fireplace.

       Once we made it back outside, I paused for a moment in front of the guild, and set things up.   The poker went into the ground.  Handrax's head went onto the end of the poker.  I scribbled out a message in common, and attached I just below the head, then stepped back.  The item appeared, as the invisibility field no longed covered it.  The note read a warning to the shadow thieves, telling them to leave Waterdeep or suffer their leader's fate.  I heard Lita laugh, and say that without Handrax's guidance the guild would fall apart, but that my little "message" would certainly hasten things along.

       We returned to the followers of Eilistraee…the others' decision, not mine.  We informed them of the success of our plan, and the others thanked the drow for their help.  Can you imagine such as thing as thanking a dark elf?!  And yet, for all that…I must admit that the dark elves had not betrayed us, attacked us, or done anything untoward to us…even me…and I was far from civil.  It seems odd to me…I wonder what sort of game they were playing…it is too difficult to believe that they could all actually be good…isn't it?

       As we entered the temple, going towards the tables once again, Tobias suddenly looked at Lita, and said,

       "Bloodscalp…I know that name.  Renal Bloodscalp…he's the leader of the shadow thieves in Amn.  How would you know that, Lita?"  Lita shrugged.

       "I used to work for him…and the shadow thieves."  Now at that point, I am certain that I must have looked ready to kill.  All I could think was that Lita worked for the shadow thieves all along…that she had betrayed us, and played me for a fool…that I had dared to trust her with my Sera.  She seemed to sense this anger that rose instantly in me, like a killing wave, and quickly explained herself.

       She had been young and foolish when she'd joined the shadow thieves, and had wanted to get out of the organization for years.  When all this had begun, Handrax had asked for Lita's help.  He had broken away from the main part of the shadow thieves, and turned against the Bloodscalp.  Lita would have no part in Handrax's treachery, and refused him.  She had, instead, made a deal with Bloodscalp…she would get rid of Handrax, and be released from the guild without repercussion…but before she got a chance, Handrax had kidnapped Lita's daughter, Allianna.  That was when Lita had "found" us.  Her meeting with me, and being friends with Rosaleen was no accident…but planned.   She had met and befriended Rosaleen for the sole purpose of making contact with me, and through me, the rest of the party.  It was why she had gone along with us, and agreed to help…and why she had begun to get so upset in our delay to go after the shadow thieves…they had her child.

       With Handrax dead, she explained, she no longer had any bonds left with the shadow thieves, and Amn.  She now meant only to find a place to live, in peace, with Allianna. 

       My anger drained away slowly, as I realized that we had not been betrayed.  Lita had not turned against us…only made a foolish choice in her life, and done what she had to, to protect her daughter.

       That I could understand.  Certainly, I, who have made the same mistakes, if not worse ones, could not condemn her for such a thing.  And I know that I would do anything to protect Sera, and rescue her, if she had been taken.  The only thing that bothered me is that Lita had not told us any of this before hand.  When I stated that though, she only smiled, and said,

       "You have your secrets, Keledrial Nightstar, and I have mine."

       As soon as we were back by the tables, and seemingly safe, I opened the pocket in my cloak, and helped Sera and Lita's daughter out. 

       Though Allianna is considerably older than Sera, the two girls were chatting at each other like they were best friends…although Allianna speech was far more refined, and understandable, than Sera's baby-ish babble.  They brought out with them, a small, gray kitten…apparently another creature that had appeared in the pocket.  Both girls became quite irate when Hank came over, and "tried to take the kitty away."  In truth, I think Hank just wanted to examine it, him being so interested in animals and all that…but the girls did not seem to care.

       Since we would be staying in Skullport for at least another "night," Lita asked the drow clerics for a room, and some hot bath water, gesturing at her daughter…who was, I admit, quite filthy.  Sera wasn't much better, having become dirty by association, I suppose.  Lita took both girls off, after I gave her two of Sera's dresses…one for Sera, and one for Allianna. The rest of the party gave me odd looks, upon seeing me pull dresses out of my backpack, but a good "death-glare" kept them quiet.

       A short time later, Lita emerged with the children, both freshly scrubbed, and well behaved, carrying the "kitty," who had also been bathed, and did not seem so very happy.

       Cleaned of the grime, I could see the definite resemblance between Lita and her daughter…all except for the girl's bright, green eyes.  Imagining that they had come from the father, I asked Lita about her husband, and where he was.  She replied that she had no husband, and would not elaborate further on the man.   I let it go, not wishing to pry.

       We returned to the surface, shortly after waking.  The drow of Eilistraee had led us to a portal, which brought us back to Waterdeep, near the city park.  Once again, we all parted ways.  Tobias took with him the encoded papers, claiming he would take them to a sage to have them checked over.  I returned home.  It had only been three days since we'd left…and yet it seemed much longer.

       I started doing a lot of thinking…about a lot of different things…and it all boiled down to the same conclusion: I was done here.

       I had adventured, doing what good I could…although how much I actually did, is dubious in the long run.  I had found my vengeance against those who'd attacked me.  It had been, in truth, my last real goal here, besides finding my way back to Evermeet.

       The way home is found…and boats have already begun to depart for the isle of the people, on a weekly basis, as elves began to return from the battle for Evereska.  I can go home now…and after weighing everything carefully, I can find no reason good enough to stay.  In fact, there are far more pressing reasons to go…the most important being Sera.

       I keep thinking about Lita's little girl…in chains, all because of an enemy her mother had made.  With my personality what it is, I know I have, and would make even more, potentially more-dangerous foes than Handrax.  It was no secret that I claimed Sera as my daughter…and in her elven form…if you did not know my history, any one would think that she is.  I watch her sleep, for she still sleeps a great deal, and I see how small, and fragile, and how very vulnerable she truly is.  I am all she has to protect her…she would be used as the greatest of all possible weapons against me, for I love her.  I know why Elaith kept his daughter hidden away…it had be for the same reason.  I have to stop being selfish…it is wrong of me to drag Sera about, and into dangerous situations. I cannot justify the risk to her any longer. 

       The safest place for her would be Evermeet.  No one there would fear her or hurt her because she is a dragon…indeed; she would be revered, for silver dragons are well-loved by the people.

       For Sera's sake I must return, but I must be truthful…I must return for my own sake as well.

       I feel that I have gotten much better from my original deterioration…Celedor has helped me greatly.  But I can still feel Airk in me…still here him whispering, sometimes.   It scares me, and I think that being here…still in a society of humans is not helping. Perhaps if I go home, I will get better, quicker.  After all, there are no humans on Evermeet…and there never will be…well except for the ones who attacked Evermeet…and that hardly counts since they were not invited.

       Besides…I am not…needed, I think…nor am I wanted, by the rest of the party.  Despite the brief time in Mirabar, I am treated more and more like a stranger than a friend.  I do not know if they are shunning my presence, or simply do not care enough to seek it out, but I cannot tolerate it much longer. 

       I always thought that comrades-in-arms should at least be friendly to each other, if not friends.  I had hoped at least one of them would lose their fear of me…would be able to forgive me, but it is not be.  I think I left my last true friend behind in Ruathym…although, despite her hiding things, Lita has proved to be friendly enough…but she is a woman…and it is easier for her to forgive, because she has experienced the like, and it is in a woman's nature.  I feel I can trust her…freely, and not cautiously, as I must with Tobias and Rosaleen…Tobias I must trust to keep his word, for I have no choice…Rosaleen I trust with Sera's secret, but not with my own, for I am certain of her rejection should she ever know all that I have done.  The others, try as I might, I can summon nothing for, save a grudging respect for their skills.  Perhaps a bit of camaraderie as well, for each, in their own way tried once or twice…but not nearly enough. 

       None of them hold reason enough for me to stay, though.  Not even Rosaleen, whom I am fond of, or Lita, who I almost feel I could fully trust.

       There is my debt to Elaith, yes, but that can be called in any time, as well he knows…after all, he is not so very old, and neither am I…and the debt will be repaid, be it a day or a decade or a hundred decades from now. 

       My work is not even a hint of a reason, for though I enjoy working at the forge, I can do the same back home.  Brian can easily replace me, for though my work is fine, there are others just as good…although perhaps not with so great a work ethic as myself.

       Even if the papers say something more important…about others involved...well, it is my conclusion that I can be easily replaced.  There are wizards aplenty about, and even more warriors.  I am not so very unique…and I think the others might welcome a new party member…one they do not have to fear or despise.  Aye, they will be happier if I go, I think.

       I did try to make my way in this world of men, but I cannot.  I do not fit in…I never will.  I am tired of those who should be my friends showing me only their fear and loathing.  I do not belong here.  I am not even trusted by my own to make decisions for myself.   Perhaps Celedor was right in his belief all along…I am a child.  A spoiled, temperamental child, and I cannot yet be trusted.  I would have charged off blindly to Evereska…and probably died for my lack of judgment.  Celedor was right…and now I must apologize to him for my anger towards him. 

       I now know why elven children do not leave home until their first century has passed…this human world…it is too much to deal with so quickly.  I have become so much like them…always in a hurry.  I changed myself to better fit in with them, and look at me now: friendless, feared, mistrusted, and alone… I have no one save for my familiar, a temperamental horse, and a small dragon who thinks that "Kele" is the word for "father."  

       So my mind is made up, and I have made my choice.  I will return to Evermeet as soon as possible…but there is one more thing I must do first.

       I must try to find her and make whatever amends I can. Her…the girl I forced against her will, some seven or eight years past. 

       I have tried so hard to try to bring myself back to Corellon's good graces, but I feel this one last thing I must do before my god would even consider forgiving me.  I have to try to find her and apologize.  It can not be so hard to find her…I have a general idea of where the village is…south of Luskan, but north of Waterdeep…right on the sea, in a natural cove.  They had been farming, and fishing folk…the attack would be remembered.  I could find my way there in a week or two, and be on my way back to Evermeet just after that.  I shall begin…soon.

       To begin the last step of my journey home, I cut myself off from the party.  I began to work strange hours again, while I was preparing for my trip north…hopefully the last I would be taking for a long time.  I left before they expect my shift to be over, and so I saw none of them.

       I asked about, and learned of three different villages to the north that all fit my description of the town I was looking for.  Directions were given to me, and everything was set by the end of the week.

       I stopped by to apologize to Celedor, and to tell him he had been right all along.  He seemed to want to go into the topic more, but stopped when I refused to go on about it.  I told him what I meant to do.  He told me that if that was what I felt I needed to do to gain Corellon's favor again, than I had to do it. 

       I did not take Sera with me, though it nearly broke what little heart I have left to leave her behind.  I had never been away from her for more than a few hours since the day she'd hatched.  She cried and wailed when I tried to explain to her that I had to go away.  I think she thought I meant forever. 

       I had told Lita a few details of where I was going and what I meant to do…then I pleaded with her to watch Sera while I was gone.  Lita could be trusted, I felt, at least with Sera.  I explained the pertinent facts to the humans woman, who, strangely enough, did not seem overly surprised to learn that Sera was a dragon.  I wondered if Sera had let it slip to Lita at some point…or if Lita, like Tobias, had always suspected something was not quite right.

       Fortunately, once I had Lita and Allianna come to the house, Sera began to calm.  After all, I had left her with Lita before and always come back.  Besides, with Allianna, and the "kitty" there, Sera was kept plenty occupied.  I gave Lita final instructions, and made her vow to keep my Sera safe no matter what.  Lita swore to Tymora and I left, feeling horrible, as I rode out of the city.  I hated leaving Sera…hated the idea that she would cry, when she awoke tomorrow, only to find that I was still gone.  I had left Sanhandrian with her, to make the separation less painful, but I doubt he will be much comfort. 

       I rode hard to the north, keeping to the main trade road, and avoiding trouble.  I wanted to go, and return as swiftly as possible.  As much as I want to try to redeem myself, and set to rest some measure of my horrible guilt, Sera needs me…and I will not fail my daughter.  I must return quickly.

       It took me a little over a week to find the town.   The people there were, needless to say, wary.  However, I managed to get them to answer my questions.  Yes, there had been a girl matching my description who'd lived there, but she'd left the town several months after the raid on the village.  They told me she'd gone north, to Neverwinter.  She'd not been seen by any of the villagers since.

       Her name was Penelope Rowen. 

       From what little I manage to learn, she left the village shortly after the attack, headed towards Neverwinter, of all places.  No one had seen her since. 

       So I continued nothward, pressing my pace hard, for I wished to return to Waterdeep with all possible haste.  The city was just as it had been when last I had been there, and I wondered, if, perhaps, I might have passed the girl on the streets, and never even have noticed her.

       It took me two days to track her down, and a nother to work up the courage to go where I would find her.  She was known to work at a small clothing, and embroidery store.  I entered the store cautiously, looking about, feeling as though I might be ambushed.  There was clothing, and cloth all over, but the only person, was a plump, gray-haired human woman, stiching something behind a counter.  She looked up as I entered, and smiled.

       "Can I help you?" she asked.  It took a moment for me to reply.

       "I am looking for a woman called Penelope.  I was told she works here."  The woman nodded. 

       "Of course.  I'll go get her," she rose from the chair, and pulled aside a curtain, disappearing into a back room.  A moment later, she remerged, this time with a woman who was hauntingly familiar. 

       She had changed from when I'd last seen her…her face was no longer so youthful…but as soon as she looked up, I saw her eyes fill with terror, the same terror that I seen that day…and I knew that I should not have come.

       She began to shriek and cry.  I got the feeling that she felt I was here as part of a raiding group, and I quickly tried to assure her that I meant no harm, holding my arms out to show her that I had no weapons.  The older woman asked me to leave, but I could not.  Not yet.  I pleaded with the woman to calm down, that I meant her no harm…and she seemed to try to do just that.  Finally, with her eyes still wet with tears, she drew a shuddering breathe, and spoke clearly.

       "Why are you here?"  And I answered truthfully.

       "I came to apologize…and seeking forgiveness…nothing more.  I must tell you, once more, that I am more sorry that you can ever know for what you suffered at my hands."

       "You ask for forgiveness?!" she asked in a shrill, shaking voice.  "How can you even ask that?!  I was trying to forget it all…and you come here, and it is like it just happened! "

       "I am sorry for that as well.  I know that I do not deserve forgiveness…but I ask it, in the hopes that you might give it anyhow."

       "You knew what you were doing that day," she cried.  "It was no accident!  You say you are sorry, but am sorrier that your…people ever came to my village," she hurled the needles at me.

       "I did it to survive, as you suffered it to survive," I stated, as the needles bounced off my chest.  "I will say one last time that I am sorry, for I truly am.  I did not realize how much my coming here would harm you.  Perhaps someday you will find it in your heart to forgive me.  And know that you are forever safe from me, for I have left those I accompanied that day, and soon will leave this land behind for good.  I hope that you shall succeed in your goal to forget me."

       "Just go…please…" she sobbed.  I could not bear to see her suffer any longer, and I accepted that it was impossible for her to forgive so foul an act.  I left, accepting that the guilt of my misdeed would be mine to bear for all time.  I heard her burst into tears behind me. 

       On my way out, I bumped into a human man, carrying an infant.  He apologized, but broke off mid-sentence, when he heard the crying from within the store.  He ran in, calling out to Penelope…her husband, I had to assume.  I hope that he will not try to seek me out, for I could not harm him, even though I am certain he would seek to harm me.  After all, I would do the same, if the woman I loved was reduced to tears by the sight of the one who had tormented her once.

       I left Neverwinter the next day, by way of the Wayfarer's guild.  I paid the necessary sum to have Lashrael and myself teleported back to the outskirts of Waterdeep.  I rose straight into the city, heading for the house I'd bought.  It was early morning, but the sounds from within told me that Sera was already awake, for I heard her voice demanding food.  I knocked on the door, to warn Lita that I was entering…after all, the last thing I wanted was to burst in, and have Lita attack me, or something.  Lita opened the door, and gave a wry grin when she saw me.

       "Back already?  Well, you're just in time for food."  I nodded, quietly.  I was still rattled from the encounter the previous day, and once more seriously doubting my judgment.  Alliana and Sera were seated at the table in the kitchen.  Alliana was sitting, looking clean and dainty, as little girls should, eating her porridge with a spoon.  Sera, meanwhile, was covered in her breakfast, with bits of mush clinging to her cheeks and hair, and the front of her dress.  She seemed to be attempting to use a spoon, which was clutched awkwardly in her tiny fist, but not doing so very well.  Sanhadrian was seated on a nearby counter, and I could sense that he was laughing at Sera's pitiful skills with cutlery.  I chided him mentally, reminding him that while Sera's skills were few, he possesednone, being the suirrel that he is.  Through the mental bond I had with my familiar, I sensed Sanhadrian's happiness at my return, although, he turned his tail to me, trying to act wounded at my departure. 

       Sera, on the other, did not even attempt to contain her joy at my return.  She looked up and saw me, and squealed as she launvhed herself from the chair, crying "Kele!"  I have to admit that I felt my spirits lift, just knowing that despite all my mistakes, there was still someone in the world who loved me, regardless…even if she was only a baby dragon.  I did not even mind that she got oatmeal all over me, as she planted baby kisses all over my face, her sticky fingers tangling in my hair.  I held her tightly, glad that I would soon be returning home, and my little one would no longer be in harm's way.

       Things did not quite go as planned, though.  As soon as things settled down a bit, Lita informed me, that since I had run my "errand," she had one of her own to do…and that since she had taken care of my "little darling," I should be fair and return the favor, and keep watch over Allianna, while Lita did what she had to.  At first I thought to protest, and reminded Lita that my knowledge of children was extremely limited, and certainly did not run to human children.  Lita merely waved her hand at me, and replied that neither had she, when she'd given birth to Allianna, but hadn't she managed, adding that I would manage as well. 

       So I agreed.  As Lita said, it was only fair, and in some way, I was honored that the human woman trusted me enough to watch her child…although, I think she would not have, had it not been for Sera.  Lita claimed she would only be gone for a month, maybe two at the most.  Besides, how hard can it possibly be?  Allianna is older that Sera, and can probably follow instructions well enough…I can certainly make two little girls behave.

       So Lita left a few days later, admidst tears from her daughter.  She refused to explain the nature of her trip, and told me that I would find out when she got back. 

       I shall never again underestimate the truly evil nature of little girls.  It must be something that they are all born with…or perhaps they are taught such abilities by their mothers…or whatever female figure happens to be around.  I simply could not understand how two of them could be more than two times the trouble of caring for only one!   I think it must be one of those great mysteries of life that only the gods know the answers to.

       Within the first few hours, they had all but destroyed any semblance of order in my house.  Toys were everywhere, everything was id disarray, and Sanhandrian had fled in terror to the rafters…out of reach from the little monsters.  It was an impossible task to watch both of them at the same time.  Thinking to get a bit of respite, I told them both it was time for a nap…it took me four full hours to catch both of them, and another two to get them to lay down…by that time it was time for dinner any how.

       Things just got worse from there.  I won't go into the details of the nightmarish weeks that followed Lita's departure.  Let us just say that the little hellions were creative in their chaos, and that it took me an entire afternoon to wash the paint out of Lashrael's mane, after being kicked more than once by the devil-horse; I am no longer welcome in several establishments in the city, including three taverns, and two clothing stores; and finally, Rosaleen seems to find no end of amusement at my torment, and if do not find the willpower to resist the words "Please, Kele," I will never have enough money to return to Evermeet!

       Thus it was with great relief that I handed Allianna back to the custody of her mother, nearly a month and a half later.  Lita's seemed far too amused at my dismay and the chaos that reigned in my house, but chuckling she claimed that I had done better than she had thought.  After all, the house was still standing.  I tried not to think to long or hard on that particular comment. 

       Lita refused to tell me what she had been up to, only saying that she would tell me, eventually. Irritating wench.

       The next few weeks I spent putting all my affairs into order.  I had a bit of trouble booking passage to Evermeet, which infuriated me to no end, though I am proud of how well I kept my temper in check.  After all I had wanted to kill the captain of the ship, who stated that he would not give a half-human passage to Evermeet…I didn't ever hit him for the grave insult, although I still have marks on my palms, from my fingernails, as I was clenching my hands so hard I drew blood.  The captain was a moon elf, like myself, and for him to call me a…Cha Tel Quessir…was the worst sort of insult…and I let him know it.  I recalled, from my youth, a voice my grandfather Cefwyn had often used, to make his point.  My tone positively wintry, I asked the captain why he dared call me such.

       "There are no elves who carry such a height, or breadth as yours," he responded, in a superior tone.  "Only those with… human blood could look as you do."

       "Really," I sneered.  "Do you have any idea who I am?  And further more, how dare you insult our King?!" 

       "How dare you insinute that I would indult King Zaor?" the captain gasped, outraged. 

       "By the insulte to my own…unusual height, you insult not only our king, but his son, the prince Lamruil.  When he drew breath, King Zaor stood well over 6 feet in height, and the prince was well on his way to matching his father's stature, when I last saw him," I stated, coldly.  I saw a slight, nearly imperceptible change in the elven captain…a shifting of his weight from foot to foot as he seemed to consider my words.

       "Still…height is only one thing…" the elf began.

       "I will ask once more, do you know who it is that you are insulting?"  The captain remained silently, and I could see him begin to reconsider his words.

       "My name is Keledrial Nightstar, son of Saelihn Nighstar and Valorian Hawksong, first born, and heir to the Nighstar family, nobles of Myth Drannor, and Evermeet, and the moonblade of that family; lost these past 4 and a half decades to walk among the humans of Ruathym, and if you do not wish to make a powerful enemy, you will accept my coin and grant passage, for myself and my child, to my home!" I declared in an voice that I have never before used.  I saw the elf blanch, his silvery skin growing paler.  Another moon elf approached the captain, and though his words were low, I heard them easily enough.

       "Captain…I've heard of Keledrial Nighstar…he was indeed lost, as a child…in a storm between the Moonshaes, and Ruathym …it was said that their heir to that house had a very…distinctive shade of hair."  The captain nodded slowly, and I saw him swallow his pride.

       "You have my most fervent apologies, Lord Nightstar.  Please…my crew and I will gladly take you to Evermeet.  There will be no cost." 

       "I will pay my own way," I replied, irrately.  "As any other passenger would. And you would do well to keep word of just who I am to yourself."  The captain nodded, and held his hand out for me to clasp.  I did so, maintaining a tight leash on my temper, which was veritably crackling within in me, even as a voice within me shouted to slay the wretch who dared insult us.  I ignored him, but let the captain know, without a doubt of my strength.  He flexed his hand surrepitiosously, even as I signed the necessary papers to secure mine and Sera's passage home.  I also decided to bring Lashrael along, for they were willing to transport him.  Though I have little love for the damnable animal, as he tries my patience at every turn, I find that I cannot stomach the idea of turned him over to some human who might geld him, or try to break his spirit.  So he will go with me to Evermeet, and be more than happy, no doubt, to bedevil the moon horses who live there.

       Securing passage was but one of the many things I had to do before I could leave.  I resigned my position at Brian's forge, gifting my former employer with the last of my work, and telling him to keep, or sell the pieces as he desired.  He claimed that he was sorry to see me go, as it meant that he would losing a good smith, and the sword coast would be losing a force for good.  I shrugged at the first and laughed at the second.  The few evils I had helped defeat seem paltry, and I did not feel deserving of any praise for the little I had done.  Brian looked as though he wanted to argue, but did not.  He merely grinned, gripped my wrist in the clasp of a warrior, and wished Tymora's luck for me on my journey homeward.

       Celedor did not seem overly surprised when I announced my decision.  Celedor claimed that it was probably the best thing for me, to be once more immersed in the culture of our people.  He apologized once more for his underestimation of myself, and I shook my head, refusing it.

       "You were right, Celedor…in the end, I am still too much a youth, and this human world is not something I have dealt well with."

       "What did the others, your friends have to say of your leaving?" Celedor asked.

       "They are no friends of mine," I was quick to say.  Then I shrugged, in response to his question.  "I have not seen them since we defeated the leader of the shadow thieves in Skullport, save for Lita.  They do not know where it is that I am living, or of my decision.  I do not think they have even tried to seek me out."  Celedor sighed, shaking his head.

       "Have they not?  Or have you made it so difficult to be found, that they cannot reach you?  Keledrial, despite your anger towards them, they have been your companions for over a year. You should tell them that you are leaving, and not let them wonder what happened to you."

       "Why?  They are not my friends," I replied, hating the petulant tone to my voice in that moment.

       "Because they saved your live, as much as your saved theirs.  And because perhaps some of them tried to be your friend, but you made it so difficult, that they could not reach you."  I sighed. 

       "Do you truly think this is important, Celedor?" I asked.  He nodded.  I sighed again. 

       "What if I just sent them a note?"  the priest of Corellon glared at me.

       "Do not play the coward, when it is not what you are, Keledrial Nighstar."

       So I sought out the party members at their tavern…which was well on the way to becoming an inn as well.  The place was still be worked on, but the tavern was full of travels depite the noise of hammers and saws.  I waited until nightfall, so I knew they would all be there.  I was not disappointed.  Even Ranon, it seemed had finally taken up with the others, though he and Tobias still, apparently, were sniping at each other. 

       They were all seated at their private table, behind the bar, talking about the construction, and profit margin, and so on.  They fell quiet as my shadow fell upon them, and despite my resolve, I felt a prick of hurt that I had failed with these people, just as I had failed with the Ruathym men, and the elven children.  I wondered if they would ever be a place, and a people with whom I would fit in.

       "Keledrial," Ranon said, breaking the silence.  "Where have you been hiding yourself? Haven't seen you around at any of the usual places."

       "That is because I have not been to them," I replied quietly.

       "You might have told me that you meant to move out of the loft," Tobias groused, adding his voice.  I shrugged.

       "Why?  You have a place to stay here, and I was paying for the place anyhow."

       "Why don't you sit, and have a drink with us?" Calvin asked, in his calm voice.  I swept my gaze to regard all of them, Tobias looking guiless, his expression open…Ranon, nodding in agreement with Calvin's proposal, trying to repair damage done…Hank, seeming dazed, his focus slightly off the reality around him, more druid now, than the warrior I had once thought to respect…and Calvin, ever guarded, ever calm…hiding his disapproval behind a gesture of false friendship.  There was not even another chair for me at the table…they would have had to fetch one. 

I shook my head.

"No…I only came to tell you that I am leaving."

"Leaving the group?" Calvin asked.

"Why?" Tobias added, looking a bit confused.

"Leaving the group, leaving Waterdeep, and leaving these shores entirely," I stated.  "I am neither needed, nor wanted in the group," I began.  Instantly their voices rose in false protest.

"Shut up!" I commanded, and strangely enough, they fell silent.

"Continue on with you tavern, or with your adventuring…I care little.  But I will not be going.  It is long past time I returned to where I belong…to Evermeet.  And that is where I mean to go.  I only came to tell you because it would have been thoughtless of me to vanish without word…and to…thank for the courtesy you've shown me. I vow, I will not forget it."  With a curt nod of my head at them, I turned and walked out.  Indeed, I shall never forget the…courtesy…they showed me.

Elaith proved far easier to speak with, and seemed understanding of my need to go home.  He added that he had always meant to help me return there, when I was ready.  I replied that I would no forget the debt I owed him, adding that he need only send word to me, and I will come to his aid.  He nodded, and I knew that as I would not forget, neither would he.  Perhaps Elaith has walked a dark path since his own leave taking of our homeland, but I will never believe him evil, nor capable of evil against his own people, not when he has shown himself to be  true comrade, when I was in desperate need of someone to help me.

I only had two more people left to deal with.  I started with Rosaleen first, speaking with her the day before Sera and I were to leave.  She knew of my plan, and seemed genuinely saddened to see me going.  I am quite fond of her, I confess, for she has ever helped me…not only in showing me that I could be desired, and helping me when I most needed aid, but because she was a truly kind and friendly person, who did not deserve to spend the rest of her life as a tavern wench.  I had figured out how much money I would need with me on Evermeet, to get there, to pay for lodging and necesseties, should there be nothing left of the Nightstar family, or if things should go wrong.  Since I decided to travel as light as possible, I'd converted the necessary amount to gems. That still left me with a great deal of heavy coin…spoils from my adventuring.  Unlike the rest of the party, I had never spent frivolously, and had worked continuously between adventures.  My dramatics abouting soending a great deal of coin on Sera and Allianna, notwithstanding, I still had large sum of money that I did not need where I meant to go. 

So I gave it Rosaleen.  St first I think she wanted to refuse it, perhaps thinking that it was some sort of payment for her kindness.  I was quick to explain that the gold was a gift, from one friend to another…that I had no need of it, and that I thought she deserved to be able to choose what she wanted to do…and that the gold would give her the ability to do so.  She did not protest any longer, her eyes brimming with tears as she took the money.  I do not think that she had ever seen so much coin in her life.  I told her to take the money and do with it as she wanted…to go away  and start a new life for herself, or throw it away, if that was what she had a mind to do.  She threw her arms about me, and whispered that she would never forget me, that I had certainly made life interesting the past year, and that she hoped I finally found the peace I sought, in Evermeet. I do not think that I will ever forget her either…not even if I should live to a time when the bones of her great, great, great children, are dust in the earth.

Lita was the last on the list, but that is because it took me that long to get the papers in order.  It was my last day in Waterdeep.  I gave to the human woman, the deed to the house I had bought.  I would not need it, and it was certainly the perfect place for a woman and her daughter.  Littlke accepted the small scrap of paper, with a smile.

"You certainly are a character, Keledrial," she smiled.  Allianna, who was there with her, asked in an increduolous tone,

"We get to stay here, Mommy?  For good?"  Lita nodded, smiling with her daughter.

"Aye, if you like, my Alianna…and now, shall we give a present to Kele?"  Allianna nodded, even as I bristled at Lita's shortening of my name…it is one thing for a pair of little girls to call me Kele, and quite another for Lita to do so.  Lita had been carrying a long package with her, when I'd invited her and Allianna to the house…and she handed it to me, at that moment.

"With my gratitude, and thanks for helping me rescue Allianna," Lita grinned.  Curiosly, I unwrapped the cloth from the package.  I have always liked presents.  Inside was a long piece of metal that tingled with subdued magic…the broken end of a great sword.  It took me a moment to realize the sword for what it was…the last piece to the blade of Tempus…the one that I had thought was still in some fortress to the south.

"But how?" I asked Lita, marveled over the blade, and imagining how I might be able to repair it, restore it to its former glory.  She only smiled enigmatically, as was her way. 

"You are a good kid, you know that?" Lita stated, almost seriously.  " A few more years and you'll be a great man…or rather a great elf.  And remember, Kele Nighstar, if things don't work out for you on your island, you have friends here."

"How could things not work out?" I wondered aloud.  Lita shrugged, hugging her daughter, who seemed ecstatic about the idea of being able to live in the house.  Sera was dancing about, thinking all the excitement grand fun.

"You never know…things change…you've changed.  Just remember that when you go home." I only laughed, amused at Lita's worried.  Nothing could go wrong.  I am going home!

We left the next morning with the tide.  Lita, Allianna, Rosaleen, and Celedor were all there to see me off.  Sera was busily waving to them, not aware, I think, that we might never see any of them again.  She was bright-eyed, and keyed up with all the excitement.  I was so busy watching her, and struggling with all my feelings as the ship pulled away from the dock, and out into the harbor, that I hardly noticed a familiar person step up to the rail beside me.

"So, Keledrial…I hope that Evermeet is all that you make it sound.  I turned, to stare incredulously at Tobias. 

"What in the name of Corellon are you doing here?" I demanded.  Tobias grinned.

"I told you that I always wanted to see Evermeet.  Now seemed like a good time to do it."

"And the others?" I asked.  He shrugged.

"They big boys…they can take care of themselves.  Besides, the tavern will run just as well, without me.  I'm a bard, Keledrial.  My one goal is to see the world…and what kind of elf would I be, if I could never say that I've been to Evermeet."  I shook my head, wondering if he was up to something, or if he was telling the truth.  But since he was onboard, and appeared to be staying for the duration, I imagine that I will have plently of time to figure it all out.

The trip to Evermeet has been very long…almost six months, by my guess.  I had never been so long on a ship…not even on the summer raids on Ruathym.  The sailors on the ship and I got along fairly well, after they realized that I knew what I was doing, and was willing to lend a hand, despite my noble birth.  It is, I think, a good thing that they allowed me to do so, or I think I might have died from boredom. 

       I read through the books I had brought with me in no time at all.  Tobias was company, and he was trying desperately to prove to me that he was my friend.  He told all sorts of stories that he'd heard…about growing up in the circus, and things in general that he'd seen or heard of.   He at least kept Sera amused, somewhat, a difficult task for the most part.

       Sera became very difficult several weeks out of Waterdeep, when she realized, finally, that we were leaving "home," and most likely not going back.  She started to cry all the time, asking when we were going home to see Lita and Rosa and Alli.  She cried even more, when I tried to explain her that we were going to a new home, and that it would be a long time before we saw any of the others again.  She was inconsolable for several days, not understanding, I think, what was really happening.  I think she thought I was punishing her for some wrongdoing.  It nearly broke my heart to see her tears, she was so listless and unhappy, and when she was not crying, she rarely spoke, or removed her thumb from her mouth.

       I sat with her for some time, trying my best to explain Evermeet, and how pretty it was there.  I told her we were going to see my family.  She seemed to grow a bit more interested, but was still uncommunicative for another week or so.  Finally, she seemed to tire of it, and she quickly became the darling of the ship.  Many of the sailors had not been around children often…some had children of their own back on Evermeet.  Whatever the reason, they all doted on her, and turned from their tasks to pay attention to her, whenever she was near the,.  She received a whole host of toys and dolls, mostly whittled from driftwood, or magically shaped.  My heart felt much better seeing my daughter smile again. 

       As you can tell, I have not written much in my journal, for what shall I write of, when days in and day out, it is nothing but waves and sea, ropes, and sails?  I wait eagerly for my return, although I am still uncertain of what to do when I get there.  I know I will go to Nightstar house, but from there, I do not know.  I do not even know if any of my family members are alive.  I could ask the sailors, but I find I cannot broach the subject.  I shall have to wait, I fear.

We made it past the defenses of the island, and I caught my first sight of Evermeet, just as the sun was rising.  The island sat, like a verdant, green, jewel in the middle of the ocean.  The water around the island was calm and peaceful, and my heart filled with unimaginable happiness as I saw my home for the first time in over four decades….when I'd once thought never to set eyes on it again.

        An hour later, we sailed into the port of Leuthilspar.  Tobias was asking questions by the dozen, but I had no voice with which to answer him.  I was still in awe that I had finally come home.  The towers rose before us, and I took Sera into my arms, and pointed at them for her to see.  I am not certain how impressed she was, since she had just woken up, rubbing her eyes sleepily.  It took a bit of time for us to be cleared by the harbormaster to leave the ship.  I left the majority of mine and Sera's things of the ship.  It would be docked for some many weeks, and I would have to first see where I will be staying before things can be unloaded.  I had Tobias see to having Lashrael temporarily stabled, and told him to take the diamond road to a place called the Green Sword Tavern.  It was, as I recall a fair inn and tavern, where many green and silver elves stayed.  Tobias wandered off shortly after that, his head whipping about as the bard tried to take in all of the amazing sights.

       I walked at a fairly sedate pace…at least for me, towards my destination.  As I looked about me, I was surprised to see that nothing had changed…it was all exactly as it had been the day I had left, so very long ago. My house was not too far from the harbor, no more than a few miles.

       Sera and I walked up the diamond road a ways.  She had to get down, out of my arms, and examine the road, which appears to be made from a pure crystal, smooth and shiny, but is more safe as any stone to walk upon…not slippery in the slightest.  She asked how it got there, and I explained simply, that magic had created it.  We turned off the main road, and as we walked, I pointed out more familiar places to here, saying the names, though they meant nothing to Sera.  My little one was merely staring, wide-eyed at everything.  The people who passed us smiled at her, always happy to see an elven child.

I noticed it quickly enough, though…they were staring at me….most of them stopped to do so.  I heard whispering start up in my wake.  I towered over many of the people…with only a small few coming anywhere near my height.  And there were none that I saw, who was built as I am.  Already there were whispers…but my people are different than humans.  They will accept me.  They must.  I do not think I could bear any more rejection.

       We passed by house Silverspear, another family that, like my own, had managed to escape the terrible fate at Myth Drannor.  The house was relatively small, but was a jumble of different architectural types that were highly confusing to look at.  We walked past house Nierdre, a gold elven family complex made entirely of shiny, black stone, which was a rare material for any structures in Leuthilspar.

       Then I saw it, house Nightstar…it rose up before me, s large building made of a melding of magically grown wood and stone…the symbol of my family, an eight pointed star embossed in silver, gleaming brightly over the main entrance to the house.  The gates were open, as they always were…I am not even certain if they have ever been closed. 

       There were a few people wandering about outside, but they paid no attention as I moved up the walkway, towards the door.  I suddenly felt terrible fear, and yet a sense of relief…I was finally home.  There seemed to have been no damage done, so I assume that it had either been repaired, or the house had not been damaged at all during the attack on Evermeet. 

       With Sera in one arm, I knocked on the door.  A few minutes later, it was opened, by an elf I did not recognize.  We did have servants at house Nightstar, but since there were always so many people wandering about the place…distant relatives and cousins, and any one who happened to bear the name Nightstar, there was never anyone in particular to open the door. 

       "Can I help you?" the elf asked politely…I studied him for a moment, trying to remember. Brilien…that was his name, it finally came to me.  He was a Nightstar…a distant uncle of some relation.  I was never really certain how he was related to me…the only relatives I had paid much attention to had been my immediate family.  So I asked the question, hoping for a good answer.

       "I need to speak with the head of the house," I said. 

       "Right, and who do you want to speak with, Haelma or Saelihn?" Brilien asked.  I had to restrain myself from grabbing him.

       "What do you mean…Saelihn?" I asked, hesitating at saying my mother's name. 

       "What do you mean, "what do I mean" ?" he replied.  "It's a simple question."

       "Saelihn Nightstar…she drowned…in a shipwreck," I stated, managing to keep my voice from breaking.

       "She was in a shipwreck…oh two score and bit more years back…but I assure you, she did not drown," Brilien replied, giving me an odd look. 

       "Do I know you?" he asked suddenly.  I did not answer for a long moment.  I had just been told my mother was alive.  I did not want to believe it at first…could not believe it.  How could she had survived?  All this time I'd thought her dead and gone to Arvandyr…but then, why not?  I had survived, and certainly, I had been the least equipped to do so.  And why would Brilien lie, when he obviously had no reason to do so?  I managed to catch hold of my thoughts, and take a deep breath, calming myself. 

       "Do you not recognize me, even a little, Brilien?" I asked.  He stared at me a minute more.

       "You seem familiar…but I cannot place you.  Your hair," he gestured, "is definitely familiar…rare hue that it is…but…"

       "You know me, though it has been…oh…a score and a bit more years since I last saw you," I said, using his own words.  Recognition finally dawned, followed closely by disbelief.

       "You…can't be Keledrial.  He died…"

       "Did I?" I asked, softly.  "I stand here before you now…" Brilien kept shaking his head in disbelief.  I sighed.  I knew this would be difficult. 

       "Look, whether or not you believe me, I am Keledrial Nightstar, Brilien Nightstar…and I want to know where my mother is, this very instant," I demanded. 

       "They're…in the solarium…having breakfast…wait!  Let me warn them first!" Brilien began to chase after me as I strode off towards the solarium, knowing the way easily, as though I had only been here the day before. 

       I slowed as I approached the door, taking a deep breath, trying to prepare myself for a reunion I'd never expected…my mother was alive.  Brilien caught up with me, but I warned him to keep quiet.  I guess I frightened him, for he took a few steps away from me, and fell silent.  I looked at myself in a mirror, in the hall, seeing myself as my mother would see me in but moments. 

       My hair was brushed, and free from the braids I usually wore.  My tunic and shirt were clean…the best I had at the moment.  The tunic had been made by my foster-mother, just before she'd died.  It was a bit fancy, with runic embroidering around the hem and collar, made of soft, blue wool.  The last time I'd worn it, had been to her funeral, and was growing tight around the shoulders…but it was the best I had.  It made me look…human, though, was all I could think. 

       Sera at least was dressed prettily, with a white linen under-dress, and a velvet overdress of sapphire blue.  She looked just as a little elven girl should, although her clothing was also of human-make, and design. 

       From the shadows of the doorway, I moved closer, and peeked into the solarium.  A large table had been set up in there, as it always had been.  There was a good dozen or so moon elves seated around it, most of whom I can vaguely recall.  My eyes scanned faces, and my mind drew forth names…some had changed, other remained just as I remembered. 

       I first saw my aunt and uncle, Halaema and Arient.  They were seated on the left side of the table.  Next to them was a young-looking elf, whom I recognized to be my cousin, Sylthas.  Sylthas had grown tall and lean, but I knew it was him, all the same.  Beside him was a young elven maid, that I did not know, but who bore a distinct resemblance to my uncle. 

       On the right side, were my parents…both of them…looking very nearly unchanged.  Upon further examination, I did notice a weariness to my mother's face…a line or two that had not been there before.  My father had a few silver hairs in among the sapphire…but otherwise  they seemed the same.

       At first I could only focus on them, unable to breathe for fear it was some form of hallucination.  I had never once thought that they might have lived…but they had. And suddenly it occurred to me…my parents had lived…why had they never tried to find me?

       My scope of vision widened, and I noticed several things.  First I saw the girls…two young elven girls, about the same age as the other.  They were seated beside my father, and the resemblance was unmistakable.  They were alike as mirrors, twins…and both with rich, sapphire blue hair, and the same smile as my mother.  Then I saw the boy.

       He came in through another entrance, on the far side of the room, rubbing his eyes, sleepily, as Sera was wont to do upon waking.  He had short hair…the very same color as mine…I could not see his eyes, but would wager that they were green.  As Sera looks to be a tiny, feminine version of me, so this child, no more than a few years older than Sera, looked to be my miniature duplicate.  Unlike myself at the same age, though, this boy did not look frail, or weak, or slight.  He saw my mother, and ran to her, having no trouble with that simple action, as I once had.  He began to speak with my mother, in a high-pitched, animated tone.  I heard what he said clearly enough, but there is no word, save one that I can recall.  He called her…my mother… " "Mommy."

       In that instant, I felt I knew exactly why my parents had not sought me out.  I suppose there is always the possibility that they thought me dead, as Brilien had said…but there are ways to tell whether or not a person's spirit had passed on.  So either they had never checked…or they had, and had ignored it…preferring to leave me lost, while they returned home to have more children… healthy children, who were able to run and laugh and play like normal children.

 Looking at the little boy…and the two girls, I knew that they had been successful…I had siblings.  I had never imagined such an event…not even once. 

       I watched them for a few more, long, minutes…growing more and more angry.  My parents had abandoned me…to death or Ruathym, it made no matter.  They were alive, and so was I…and they'd not come and rescued me…that was all that mattered in that moment.  I felt my rage tugging within me, rising swiftly, but I kept in check.  Finally, I could not stand by watching a moment longer…I stepped out of the shadows, and into the solarium. 

       For a moment no one noticed me, all occupied with food, and conversation.  Sera seemed to sense that something was about to happen, and stuck her thumb into her mouth at that moment…a gesture that I notice she often uses when she is upset or frightened.  For Sera's sake I did not raise my voice, but my words, so filled with scorn and anger…and hurt, had the same effect, as though I'd shouted them.

       "So mother, father, I now see the reason you never came to get me…all I really want to know is how you could simply abandon me?" I hissed, staring at them.  The conversation in the room slowly died, as one by one the people at the table looked at me.  I saw my parents look up, and recognize me…I saw the disbelief…the shock…and all I felt was the hurt and the anger screaming…I could swear I heard a familiar voice laughing…in my head.  But as Celedor had eternally cautioned me, I ignored him.  My mother's hand went up to her mouth…and my father seemed to go more pale than normal.  And on her lap, that…child spoke.

       "Who's that, mommy?" he asked. 

       "Yes…who am I, mother?" I sneered. 

       "Keledrial…"I heard my aunt whisper, incredulously.  My gaze flickered to her for a moment.

       "Hello, Aunt Halaema," I greeted her, casually.   Inside, I was screaming…I looked back to my parents.  My father finally managed to draw breath enough to respond.

       "You…you can't be our son…Keledrial was…he was…"

       "Was what, father?  Weak? Frail?  Sickly?  Small?  Yes…I was, wasn't I? But your new…children aren't, are they?  They're all healthy…you don't worry about them dying, do you?  Or maybe you were glad when I drowned, and that's why you never looked for me?" I said.  Then the little boy spoke again, interrupting the obviously tense conversation with childish ignorance.

       "Keledrial?" he asked no one in particular.  "Like me…Keledrial and Kedrial…Keledrial and Kedrial!" he sang in a silly song-voice.  My temper slipped at that, hearing that they'd given the child a name so similar to mine… a replacement son.

       "Was I that easy to replace?!" I screamed at them.

       "Keledrial," my mother began, but just at that moment, I was too upset to hear anything she might have had to say.  She started to rise, and I hardly registered the fact that she had to grab onto a cane to do so.

       "Do you have any idea what I went through?!" I continued, my voice almost shrill.  Sera, was beginning to whimper, as she held tight against me, covering one of her ears with her free hand.  At that same time, the boy…Kedrial, began to whimper as well, clutching at my mother's dress.

       "Mommy," he sounded frightened. 

       "Shut up!" I turned my attention to him.  "She's my mother!"

       "Keledrial, he's only a child," my aunt interjected, suddenly…warily.

       "And so was I, when I was abandoned by my own family to live with the Ruathym.  Gods, I hate you all," I declared, feeling something unfamiliar…a prickling at the corners of my eyes.  I turned and ran out, away from them.  I could not let them see me cry…let them see how much they'd hurt me.

       I ran back down the streets, the way I'd come, pushing elves out of the way.  They were all too slow, walking so sedately, as though there was nothing in the world that could make them rush.  It irritated me to no end.  Everything might look the same on Evermeet, but it was all different…at least it was to me.  I was used to humans, they way they moved and acted…elves are completely different…in my mind I'd always thought that because they were the people, their ways were best.  In that moment, just in running down the street, I realized that all I really knew about my own people, was what I had read in books.  In actuality, my years on Evermeet had been spent, for the most part, alone. I saw the people stop…literally, stop and stare at me when I went by.  I heard the whispers erupt in my wake.  I knew what they were all talking about…my height, my size, my so very, un-elven appearance, and my un-elven actions.  I knew that the laughing and finger pointing would begin soon.  I'd suspected that this would happen, but I suppose some part of me dared to hope it might not…that the elves would be different from the humans.  It appears I was wrong, yet again.  At that moment, I thought that perhaps it was my fate…to eternally be a freak, among any society I tried to live in.

       I was already starting to cry, by the time I reached the banks of the river Ardulith.  I sat down at the edge of the river, grateful that the rush of the water was loud enough to cover the sound of my crying. 

       Sera, who'd been silent all through my outburst at Nightstar mansion, had seemed to think the run through the streets of Leuthilspar had been fun, but as soon as I put her on the ground next to me, and she saw my tears, she began to cry as well.  Until that day, she'd never seen me upset…for I'd not dared to cry, not even once, while in a human society.  The very thought of it had been kept away by the memory of my foster father's words that only girls cried, and the well-remembered slap that had accompanied the statement.  Come to think of it, many of my own people hold the sentiment that showing such displays of emotion is considered vulgar.  My parents had never believed such a thing, but I have come to believe, as the Ruathen do, that crying is a sign of weakness…yet for all my rational thoughts on the subject, I simply could not seem to stop.  It was almost like there was something about Evermeet that weakened my resolve. All I could think at the time, was how horrible everything seemed to be turning out.  Rationally, I know that I should have been glad that my family was alive, when I'd never thought to see them again, but I was being selfish, and childish, and all I could think was that they had abandoned me…and at the time, all the evidence seemed to point towards such a conclusion. 

       I swear I did not hear anyone approach…not that such a task would have been an easy thing.  Sera was wailing unhappily, and I had my arms wrapped around my legs, my face buried in my knees, trying hard to stop the weakness I was showing. 

       I felt his hand on my shoulder, before I heard him speak. 

       "Go away," I choked, not bothering to lift my head.

       "Come now," the voice…a male voice, said, "Things can't be as bad as all this."

       "You don't know anything," I replied, my voice muffled.  "Just leave me alone."

       "Ah…well, I can't do that.  I dislike the sound of crying… it makes me feel sad…why not tell me what's wrong?  Maybe I can help," he stated.  Finally I lifted my head, and strangely, I felt the worst of the tension, and pain fading.  I was able to stop crying, which I am devoutly glad of…crying makes me feel like a child, bringing back only the memories of being sick and small, and frightened all the time.

       Next to me, Sera seemed to feel the same sense of sudden calm, and her sobs turned to sniffles, and finally stopped all together, as she put her thumb into her mouth, and leaned against me.

       I looked to the person who come upon us, and saw before me a gold elf.  He had shoulder length, golden hair, and skin nearly the same color.  His eyes were sky blue, and seemed ancient, though he hardly looked much older than I.  I could not tell how tall he was, as he was sitting down, but I could swear he was at least as tall as me.

       "Now then, why don't you tell me what has got you so upset?" the elf asked.  And something in his tone made want to do just that.  I found myself telling the stranger everything.  When I spoke of my anger towards my family, he only said what I had already begun to think.

       "Perhaps you should be glad that they are still alive, when so many things, in so much time, might have taken that life from them."  I complained that they had abandoned me on Ruathym, and his response was,

       "Not everything is as it seems, you know."  I spoke about returning to Evermeet, and finding everything different from what I had thought it to be.

       "You have looked back to Evermeet all these years with the eyes of a child remembering a favored dream.  That you return to find things different is to be expected.  You have spent a long time among the world of men, where things are more-fast paced, and sometimes more exciting.  Have you thought, perhaps, that Evermeet is no longer the place for you?" he asked.

       "It has to be…I've worked all these years to try to come back.  It's my home!  I have to belong here," I protested, almost desperately.  The gold elf shrugged, and smiled.

       "Perhaps…but perhaps you will find that Evermeet is not so very large, or interesting…and that there are many other places in the world for you to go."   Finally the conversation even came around to the subject of my self-imposed penance to Corellon.  I explained what I had done to try to repair the damage I had caused, and he smiled, which almost made me angry.  It was no matter to be amused at!

       "Keledrial, has it not occurred to you, that Corellon forgave you long ago?  It is only yourself who can give you the forgiveness that you believe you need," he stated.  I looked away, for I had not liked the answer that I was the one who was responsible for making myself so miserable.  It was far easier to believe that a god was causing things to go wrong, as punishment for wrongdoing…but I suppose that he was right…I punished myself more than anyone else.  I felt him rise, beside me, and he laid his hand on my shoulder one more time.

       "Think on things a bit more, Keledrial Nightstar…for they  may not be as bad as you think."

       Then he was gone…as though he'd never been there in the first place.  I looked about, but there was no sign of him…even the place where he'd sat, on the grass by the edge of the river, looked undisturbed.  And then I realized that I had never told him my name, but he'd known it anyhow. 

       I have my suspicions as to who the elf might have been, but I will not give voice to them.  I have noticed one thing though, beyond all the rest of things, that is.  Ever since that elf laid his hand on my shoulder, the voice is gone.  The voice of Airk, within in my head, I mean.  You see, despite all that I'd done, talking with Celedor, not writing or speaking of Airk as a separate person, and trying my best to deny his existence, he had still been there…still whispering in my head that I would never be rid of him…that I was a part of him, and that he would grow strong again, and it would be me reduced to whispers.  He still seemed to take control of our body during some battles, but as I have gained more confidence, he seemed to have less control over me.  But now…it is like he never was…all the knowledge that he had is still mine, but there is no more voice…no incessant whispering and chiding, that I had grown used to hearing.  I'd never thought such a thing would occur, but it did…after the "elf" by the river touched me.  Strange?  Yet if he was who I suspect he might have been, it is not strange after all.

       I decided that the only thing to do was to return to Nightstar mansion…and give my parents a chance to explain.  After all, as…He…had said, it might all have been a misunderstanding on my part.  And I certainly do have a tendency to act before I think, sometimes. 

       I turned to Sera, who was still being quiet.  She had tears dried on her cheeks, and I dipped a cloth into the river and washed her face.  When I picked her up, she finally spoke, silver eyes wide and curious.  She touched my face, damp cheeks, and asked,

       "Kele crying?"  She'd never seen it before, and I think that it had been the sight of me upset that had made her so upset.  For her sake, I must be very careful to try to control my emotions better in the future. I nodded.

       "Yes, Sera.  Sometimes, even Keles cry," I explained to her. 

       "Don' cry," she said, repeating the words I used to her whenever she was upset.  "I love you," she declared in her childish voice.  I sighed, feeling a bit better.  Somehow just hearing those words helped, even if it was only a baby dragon, who thought I was both her mother and father, was the one saying them…actually, especially because she had said so.

       She is my daughter after all.

       "And I love you too, Sera," I replied.  She smiled again, and asked when we would go "look"…meaning she wanted to see the city.  I had to tell her "later", as we had to return to my Nightstar mansion.

       I moved slower as I walked back, pointing things out to Sera, and making certain that I was calm once more.  The front door to the house was open, as I had left it, and I was quiet as I walked in, not bothering to knock. 

       I heard them before I saw them, still in the solarium.  I peeked in, hiding once more in the shadows, for a moment. 

       Breakfast had been forgotten, on the table in front of them, and several voices were murmuring at once.  Most of the Nightstars in residence were now in the room, including Brilien, who was apologizing profusely that he'd not given them warning.  It was my mother's voice I focused on, and heard above all of the others.

       "We have to find him!" She looked to have been crying, as well.  My father nodded.

       "We will…it's Evermeet.  There are only so many places he could have gone to.  There are no ships leaving today.  He'll be in the city somewhere."  Though he was a bard, my father had always been very logical. 

       "I never thought…" my aunt began, but she did not finish the statement, merely shaking her head, with an expression of disbelief. 

       Then, I noticed someone behind me, and spun around to see who it was.  Sylthas.

       "Well, cousin…are you going to go in, and let your mother stop worrying…as she has since the day you disappeared?" my cousin asked, light disapproval in his tone.

       "Why do you care?" I asked, in a near sneer.  "With me back, you won't be the heir, anymore.  I would think you'd be happy to have me gone."  To my surprise, Sylthas' face grew dark, and angry.

       "How dare you say that?  You're family…we loved you.  We just couldn't find you.  I never understood why you disliked me Keledrial, but believe me, I have no interest in being the heir of house Nightstar.  It is far too much responsibility that I do not care to have."  I was confused at the statement, but once more, I began to wonder, how much time, and my own fears and conclusions had colored my judgment.  I said nothing to Sylthas…not certain of anything at that moment.  Instead, I turned from him, and looked back into the solarium. 

       I had to admit, my parents certainly looked upset…and the others…people I can remember, all looked rattled, as well. I took a deep breath, and stepped into the room, silently.  It took a moment or two before they noticed me standing there. Silence fell over the room, as everyone turned to look at me. I felt uncomfortable, with so many eyes upon me, but stood fast. 

       My mother jumped up from her chair, and came towards me.  I noticed then, that my mother was having trouble walking…that she was using a cane to aid her.  My father's approach was nearly as swift.  They slowed, as they got closer though, as though I were some wild animal that they were afraid to spook.

       "Keledrial," my mother began, her tone pleading.  "Please don't go…let us explain…please."

       "I thought that you didn't believe I could possibly be Keledrial," I stated, quietly, to both of my parents, even though it had been my father who'd said it.

       "It's just that you're so…different looking," my father claimed, trying to sound diplomatic.  "You have to understand…"

       "That I was sickly," I finished for him.  "Yes…I was…but I'm not anymore.  Things change, and so do people."

       "We always knew that you were alive," my mother stated quickly.  I forced myself to stay calm.

       "Then why didn't you come get me?" I asked through gritted teeth. 

       "We couldn't find you!" My mother nearly wailed.  "We looked and looked.  We had wizards and priests look for you with magic…we even had the people of the relay looking for you.  No one had seen you!  And wherever you were, no magic could pierce.  We tried everything I could think of.  We checked the islands around the Moonshaes for years…we just couldn't find you!" she sounded frustrated.  I looked about, and saw a seat, with the back to the wall, and sat down in it.  Sera was getting heavy, so I settled her in my lap, and looked back to my parents…and the rest of my "audience," a moment later. 

       "I wasn't on the Moonshaes," I told them, amazed at how calm I was managing to sound.

       "I was on the island of Ruathym, to the north of the Moonshaes."  Thinking for a moment, I recalled the strange magic that I'd always felt in the village on Ruathym…perhaps that would explain why they hadn't been able to find me magically.

       "There was a great source of magic in the village where I lived…perhaps that is why no magic worked to find me," I told them.  Chairs were dragged over, and my parents, aunt, and uncle all sat down, facing me.

       "Keledrial…I swear to you, we did not mean to abandon you.  We looked and looked…for years.  We survived the shipwreck when some sea folk rescued us and several of the crew…but they claimed they'd not seen you."

       "I'm not really certain how I survived," I replied, truthfully.  "I know that I prayed, but thought to die…I woke up on Ruathym with my foster mother, Ingrid trying to save me from a fever.  As you see, she succeeded."

       "Ruathym?" my father asked.  "That is where you've been…I have heard of it…but…we did not think you could have possibly been there…we did ask, in Ruathym city, but they claimed there were no elves on the island."  I sat forward suddenly.

       "When?!  When did you go to Ruathym city?" I demanded.

       "A year…perhaps, and a half, after we lost you," my father answered, startled.  For a moment, I fumed.

       "Damn them…they knew…they knew…"  The people of Ruathym city would have remembered such a visitation for a long time, yet not one of them had told me…it had never even been mentioned.  I wonder if my foster father had known, but thought it unlikely that he had not.  He had always been careful to keep things from me…not wanting me to leave…but to keep this from me!  And yet, I could not be angry at him for long, for it is in the past, and done with now, with him long dead.  Being angry now would affect only me, and repair nothing.

       "No one ever told me," I finally managed to say.  "I thought that you were dead."  My mother sat forward.

       "Listen to me Keledrial.  We tried to find you, I swear by all the Seldarine, we did.  We never abandoned you, we just ran out of places to look.    You must never think that we didn't want you…" she sobbed once, but managed to calm herself.  "You're our son…our firstborn, and we love you."  My father nodded, and I knew that they were telling the truth.  I couldn't think what to say next, though.  We had established that I had not been abandoned…but what to do now?  I noticed that everyone else seemed to be uncomfortable at the moment as well, judging by the long silence.  Fortunately, Sera chose that moment to interrupt.  She tugged on my tunic, to get my attention, and instinctively, I looked down at her.

      "Kele, I'm hungry," she stated, doing her best to sound as though she were starving. 

       "We'll get some food in a bit, Sera," I replied.  I looked back to my family, and saw their curious glances at Sera, although they seemed to be waiting for me to volunteer information.  I sighed.

       "Mother, father…everyone…this is my daughter, Kaithseraly Nightstar," I introduced them to Sera.  Sera smiled shyly at them, and added,

       "I'm Sera!"  I've noticed that most adults behave a bit oddly with children around, and my parents and relatives were no exception.  They all practically tripped over each other to introduce themselves…but I saw the surprise in my parents' expressions.

       "Your daughter, Keledrial?" My father asked.  I nodded.

       "And where is her mother?" my mother asked, delicately.

       "Dead."

       "Oh…I'm so sorry," my mother exclaimed.  I laughed, though the sound seemed strained to me.

       "That's all right.  I never actually met Sera's mother," I replied, even as Sera bit down on my hand, practically roaring this time that she was hungry. 

       "Sera!  No biting!" I yelled back at her.  Sera worked her face up into a pout.

       "Don't you dare," I warned her.  She opened her mouth, to start her usual temper-tantrum screams, but fortunately, at the moment, a servant of the house, whom I vaguely recalled, but could not remember the name of, appeared, with a tray of food, and said,

       "I believe I heard someone say they were hungry?"  Sera stood up in my lap, reaching for the tray.

       "Me!  I'm hungry!"  Before she could get it, I took hold of the tray with one hand and held it out of her reach.

       "Kele!"  She stomped her little foot…almost hitting a very sensitive spot on my lap. 

       "Kaithseraly Nightstar!  Look at how you're behaving!  You start acting like a lady this instant, or you can sit in the corner, and no food!" I told her.  Her lower lip began to tremble, and her eyes filled, on cue.  She always pulled the same act when I got upset with her, or threatened the corner.

       "Sorry, Kele," she sniffled. 

       "Are you going to behave, now?" I asked her.  She nodded, looking pitiful.

       "All right then.  Do you want to eat at a table?" I asked, lowering the tray, which was very heavy, in truth.  She shook her head. 

       "Stay wif you," she stated.  Since it would have been too awkward to have Sera and the tray on my lap, I spread out the travel cloak on the floor, by my feet, and put tray and baby on the floor.  Sera easily got the top of the tray off, and began to daintily pick at the food, until she found something that met her satisfaction.  Satisfied that Sera was behaving, and would remain quiet for a while, I looked back at my relatives, who were all staring at me, as though I was some sort of oddity they'd just discovered.

       "Look, if I don't make her behave, she gets out of control," I explained, self-consciously.

       "Um…did you say that you'd never met…Sera's mother?'" my mother queried, obviously confused.   I nodded.

       "Sera's…adopted.  I mean…well…it's complicated."

       "But she looks just like you," my aunt protested.  I shrugged. 

       "Sometimes, things are more than they appear to be."  I knew it probably would have been easier to just come out and say that Sera was a dragon, but for some reason, I just couldn't manage to come up with a non-blunt way to do so.  Finally, my mother shook her head. 

       "Keledrial, just tell us everything…straight from the beginning.  I want to know everything…everything that's happened to you since the day the ship went down."

       "Um…I'm not really very good at telling stories," I protested.  At that, my mother got a very familiar looking expression on her face: determination.

       "Keledrial Nightstar, you will tell us exactly what you've been doing for the last four decades, and I mean right now!" 

"I will not!  You can't make me.  And furthermore, I don't really want to talk about it," I crossed my arms, irritated. 

"Keledrial," my father began, no doubt about to put his demand in.

"Fine!" I huffed.  "You won't like what you hear…or rather," I reached into the backpack I'd brought with me, and pulled out this very journal, "what you read."  I tossed the journal on the table in front of them.  They stared at it, blankly, and I have to admit, it's a rather odd sight, with all of its mismatched pages, and ink stained binding.

"I started this a few years after I washed up on Ruathym…so that after I died, some one might bring it back to Evermeet, and my family would know what happened to me.  I never really expected to survive, back then…and I written every word of what has happened to me since.  If you want to know so much, then read it…but as I said…you won't like what you read.  Things were not easy, and I did a lot of things in the name of survival, that I am not proud of.  Now, if you don't mind, I have been awake since midnight, as of two days ago, and I am very tired."

"You want to rest?  Now?" My father asked, incredulously. 

"Yes…now," I replied, firmly.  "It has been a very long few months, and needless to say, I need some time to…think about things.  Besides, Sera needs to have a nap, and it is the only time I have to rest."  At that, Sera piped up from where she was finishing her food.

"No nap, Kele," she stated, shaking her head.

"Yes, nap, Sera," I picked her up, then stood. 

"No sleepy," she tried to wiggle out of my arms.

"Yes, you are sleepy," I countermanded.  My parents stood as well, my mother looking momentarily frantic.

"You can't go!"  I looked at her, calmly.

"Where would I go, mother? " I sighed.  "It's Evermeet… there is no place to go."

"I mean…you'll stay here, at the house."

"If you wish," I shrugged, trying to act casual, although the idea of being back, in my childhood home again, was somewhat unnerving.

I was taken to an upstairs room, after they'd gotten the name of the ship I'd come in on.  They said they'd have all of my things brought to the house, although I am quite certain that they spent all of their time reading my journal.  It did not bother, me somehow, to know that my thoughts were being read.  After all, was that not what I'd intended with my journal?  And after everything that had happened, lately, I suppose I felt a bit removed from everything real.  I had been telling the truth…I was tired…bone-weary, and tired to the soul, as well…and frankly, I still needed some room to breathe, without being stared at, hence my escape.

When I awoke from reverie, some hours later, it was to the sound of voices, and the sensation of being watched…of someone in the room with me.

"Kedriel, don't touch him!" a girlish voice protested, in a loud whisper.  I felt someone touch my arm, poking at me.

"Kedriel!" another one joined the first. "You're not supposed to be in here!"  I opened my eyes, to see a small, elven face, not two inches from mine, staring intently. 

"Are you my brother?" the small person asked.  I sat up suddenly, forcing the child to lose his balance, and fall back, onto the furs, which I had spread out on the bed, to rest on.

"I don't know…who are you?" I asked, still only half awake.

"I'm Kedriel," the boy said, still staring at me.  Glancing about, I saw that there were three girls at the door, none of them much past their third decade of life.  They froze when they saw me notice them.  They all looked very similar...very much like my mother and aunt, although two of them, I realized, were identical.  Then I turned back to the boy…my brother.  The child whose very appearance had so angered me, earlier.  He did not seem frightened now, as he had before. 

"You look like me," the child stated, his green eyes wide. 

"No, I am older, and so it is you who look like me," I corrected automatically.  Having had to deal with Sera and Alliana, I was somewhat aware of how a child's thoughts worked, and was used to correcting them. 

"How come you came home now?" Kedriel asked.  The three girls, who were still hovering near the door, had moved into the room, and at that point, one of them piped up with a question of her own.

"Mama said that you were lost.  Did someone find you?" 

"Is that your baby?" another girl asked, pointing at where Sera was still sleeping, beside me.

"How come you close your eyes when you go into reverie?" the third girl asked, her voice a little quieter and more shy that the other two.  I wasn't certain which question to answer first, if any.  I knew though, that my previous anger was calmed.  After all, it was not the fault of these children the things that had happened.  And it certainly wasn't right of me to take anything I felt out on them. So I answered the queries in the order that I received them. I looked at my brother…marveling that I had a sibling…probably more than one, judging by the girls' appearances.  Not only did I have a brother, but he was so small…maybe a few years older than Sera, and hardly more than a few inches taller.  It seemed all very strange to me some how…surreal.

"I came home now because it is the first chance I have had to do so, Kedriel," I informed the little boy.  "Before that, I forgot the way, and so I could not come back."

"You forgot the way home?!" Kedriel exclaimed, in a voice full with childish amazement.  I nodded.  The girls crept closer, and I turned to regard them.

" I was, indeed, lost, and some people…humans found me.  They took good care of me, until I was big enough to find my way home."

"You're really tall," the first girl stated.  Her twin nodded.      "Bigger than daddy, or uncle Arient."

"That's…my daddy," stated the third, more quiet, girl. I turned to regard her.  With her silvery hair, and blue eyes, she looked more than a little bit like my mother and my aunt, but there was something about the shape of her face that reminded me of my uncle Arient.

"If lord Arient is your father, than you must be my cousin," I stated.  She nodded. 

"I'm…Orianna," she said.  "Sylthas is…my…brother," she practically whispered, trying her best to hide behind the twins.

The two girls both allowed Orianna to hide, and eagerly stepped forward, and introduced themselves.

"I'm Amentrine!" one said.

"And I'm Anarihne," the other parroted.

"We're your sisters," they chimed together, sounding like tiny matched bells.  They looked like mirrors of each other, both with sapphire blue hair, and sky blue eyes…little versions of my mother, with my father's hair.

"And I'm Kedriel," my brother tugged on my tunic to regain my attention. 

"Well then…and I suppose you all know what my name is?" I asked them.  They nodded.

"You're Keledrial," Amentrine stated.  "Mommy and Daddy couldn't find you when the ship wrecked, but they said that someday you would come home."

"I guess they were right," I gave them all a smile, trying my best to keep from frightening them.

"Is that your baby?" my sister, Anarihne, I think, asked once more, pointing at Sera.  I nodded, and gently caressed Sera's sleeping head.  She stirred for a moment, but did not wake.

"She is my daughter, Sera." 

"You're too young to have a daughter," Amentrine declared.

"Apparently not," I replied, once again attempting to gently wake Sera.  I did not want her to sleep all afternoon, or else she would not go to sleep later. She batted at my hand, but began to blink, and rub her eyes.  Then she noticed that there were people in the room.  She jumped up on the bed, and before I could stop her, she dove at my brother, attempting to bite him, and shouting,

"My Kele!"  I grabbed her before she could do any damage, although Kedriel had seemed inclined to fight back. 

"Sera," I warned.  "Behave."  She settled down after a moment, and her thumb went into her mouth, as she leaned against me, her free hand fisted possessively in my tunic.

"Why…does she…call you Kele?" my small cousin asked, in her halting manner of speech.  Before I could answer that, a more familiar face appeared in the doorway. 

"Here you all are," my cousin Sylthas exclaimed, sounding irritated.  "Aunt Saelihn and mother told you all to keep away from here," he scolded.  The younger children all tried, without much success to appear contrite over their misdeed.  While he spoke, I had a moment to truly take a good look at my cousin.  Sylthas had grown taller, and though lean, was not thin.  Where once he had been taller than I, I now towered over him…or would have, had I not been seated on the bed.  His silver hair was tied back in a tail at the nape of his neck, and his eyes were the color of golden topaz, like his father's.  He looked over to me, and smiled cautiously, as though he was not certain of me.

"I am sorry if they woke you, cousin," he stated.  I shrugged.

"I do not mind." 

"Your parents…they will want to know you've awakened," Sylthas said.   I nodded, and rose from the bed, running my fingers through the tangles in my hair. 

"I will walk with you," I replied.  Sylthas nodded, and I noted, out of the corner of my eye, that he had an expression of mild awe on his face as he watched me.  Odd…

"Kele!" Sera cried out frantically, when I moved away from the bed.  She reached for me.  "Don' go!"  I scooped her up before she could start crying.

"I won't leave you, Sera," I reassured her.  As we walked out into the hallway, the younger children ran off ahead, leaving me alone with Sylthas.  He stared at me for a moment, then seemed to catch himself.

"I am sorry…it's just hard to reconcile this image of you, with the Keledrial I always remembered."  I shrugged…my favorite gesture as of late.  "And it is hard to believe that you have a child," he looked to Sera, who stared at him, unabashedly.

"After all, you're only a little older than I am." 

"Who's dat, Kele?" Sera asked, pointing. 

"That is Sylthas, Sera." 

"Siltas?" she repeated. 

"Close enough," Sylthas smiled.  "Really, though, she looks just like you…it's hard to believe that she's adopted." 

At that moment, we came up to the door of one of the house's many sitting rooms, slightly ajar.  From within a chorus of childrens' voices exclaimed that "he's coming," and that "he's awake."  I paused a moment , before entering, strengthening my resolve.  I had a feeling that things would not be so very easy.  I was startled, however, when I felt Sylthas lay his hand on my arm.

"Listen Keledrial, we may not always have gotten along, but if you need to talk…or get away from all the…excitement, I'll be here to listen, or help in any way I can."  In my shock, it took me a moment to respond.

"Why…why are you behaving like this, when I ignored you, and avoided you since the day you were born?" I asked, incredulously.  He shrugged.

"Look, I remember what the other kids said about you…and me for that matter.  I never wanted to take your place…I just didn't know how to behave around you…I don't think any of the others did either…you were always so…different."  I laughed, it sounded bitter, rather than amused though.

"I fear that "different" is the nicest way of putting what I am."

"Don't be so bitter, Keledrial." Sylthas shook his head. "You may not have been physically strong, but, if you will recall, you were well on your way to being one of the most powerful mages on Evermeet.  Perhaps all that has happened to you was the Seldarine's way of protecting you, and the power you have…had you stayed on Evermeet and continued your training, you would even now be in Arvandyr with the others."

"What do you mean by that?" I asked suspiciously.  He looked a bit surprised, and then a bit sad.

"I forget that you were not here…sometimes it seems hard for me to believe that there is anyone who does not know what happened.  When Evermeet was attacked…the towers…the towers were destroyed by the traitors.  There are no high mages left alive in Evermeet," he said.  I felt as though I had been punched hard, in the stomach. 

"Dead?" I repeated.  "Surely not all of them…no one could have…"

"But they did…and they are…" Sylthas interrupted. "So you see, perhaps there is a purpose for what happened to you."

"My teachers…" I whispered, incredulously.  Sylthas suddenly looked upset. 

"I should not have said anything…I scolded the others for bothering you, and here I a making things that much worse…"

"No…I would have found out soon enough any how…it is just one more burden for my conscience, "I sighed, pushing the door to the next room open, feeling once more disjointed for reality, as new realizations entered my thoughts. 

"What do you mean by that?" Sylthas asked, as he followed me in.  I shrugged.

"Have you ever the statement, for want of a warrior, the battle was lost?" I asked.  He nodded.

"Then consider it carefully…if I had been here, perhaps the traitors would not have succeeded…one more mage…it might have made the difference…but nay, I was so foolish, I could not even remember where my home was!"  My voice rose, angrily, as my temper stirred.

"You must not think like that, cousin," Sylthas said, quickly.  "It took the combined power of Angarradh and our princess, Ilyrana, to defeat the terrible forces that were unleashed on Evermeet.  There was nothing you could have done."

"You do not know what I might have done!" My voice rose another notch.  "You have no idea what I can do…"  Sylthas took a step back from me, and I laughed harshly.

"That is right, step back from me, cousin…I drive fear into the hearts of my foes and allies alike…it should be no different with my family.  By the gods, am I such a monster that you would fear I would strike my own blood?!" I demanded of him. 

At the time, I did not realize that my raised tones had drawn the attention of my parents, and the others behind the door.  In my bout of self-loathing, I did not hear the door open behind me, but I heard my mother's voice, clearly as she ordered,

"Keledrial Nightstar, cease your dramatics!"   I turned to look at her, but unable to meet her eyes, fearing the worst.  She had, after all, at least begun reading my journal.  I nearly lost my hold on my temper entirely, when I heard Sylthas mutter under his breath,

"By the Seldarine, if this is what humans do to the people by their assosiacitian, then may I never leave Evermeet to see one."  I spun back on him, irritated.

"They made me strong…they taught me to survive, and they were good people, damn it!"  I defended my foster parents, for as much as they were not perfect people, I had grown to love them.  It did not occur to me at the moment that it was Brander and all the other Ruathen who taught me the skills necessary to be feared.

"And we shall forever be grateful to the Windreivers for all they did for you, my son," my mother laid her hand on my arm in a comforting manner.  Beside her my father gave a very un-elven sounding snort, to which my mother responded with a glare.  My father loves my mother dearly, I have no doubt…but like Tobias, he is a bard, and thus he rarely seems to have difficulty in speaking his mind.

"They saved him true, but I do not know what to think of a man who hits a child for crying in a place that is frightening to him…especially if that child is my son," my father's voice tone was moderate, but there was a scathing edge of anger to it. 

"Just because the elves are less open in their disapproval of emotional displays, does not make the end result, the lack of ability to show ones feelings, more desirable," I stated, and as soon as the words were spoken, I wanted to recall them. 

"The elves?" my father choked at the term…the humans term for the people…and I'd spoken it common, more reflexively than anything else. He turned to mother.

"You see what they have done to him?  It will take decades to undo the damage, if ever we can!  This is not something that a few months of speaking to some minor priest will cure!"

"Valorian," my mother's voice held a note of warning in it.  My father ignored it, and in that moment, I knew that much of my temper had not been learned…but rather, inherited. My father's eyes were dark with anger.

"I read what he wrote…the things that they convinced him were "right," are atrocious.  He's a child…and they had him out killing people, and working day in and day out, like some sort of damned dwarf!  They saved his life, true, but they kept him from us!  They stripped away everything about him that was elven."  By that point my father's voice was nearing shout level. 

"I am still an elf, Corellon damn it!" I retorted.  "And the Windreivers kept the truth from me, but you kept from me the knowledge that would have allowed me to find the way home!  I never knew anything about anything that was not elven or Evermeet.  How was I supposed to find my way, when I couldn't even speak the common tongue when I left here?!"

"We were trying to protect you…to keep you safe," my father snapped. 

"Well, you failed!  I kept myself safe."

"By traipsing about with humans?  And dwarves?  Hunting dragons and gibberlings for Hanali's sake! You are the heir to your house, and you act like a…"

"If you say it, "I warned my father, "I will walk out of this house, and never return," I swore.  He quieted instantly, and I could see him mentally calming himself.  I forced myself to remember that this could not be much easier for my parents than it was for me, although, I grant, they at least knew I was alive.

"Come…lets go sit," my mother said, her tone nearly pleading. I nodded, and walked into the room with her.