Chapter 2: Vegeta's tale

The Fellowship of the Balls had been broken, but the Fellowship of the ring was still very much together and hating every minute of it. Gimli took a long draw of his pipe. "Man, that's some good weed!" he said, and coughed. He passed the pipe to Legolas who took a longer draw. "Wow!" he said. "This is some good shit! Aragorn, you gotta try this!" Gandalf looked disapprovingly at Aragorn, and temptation was lost. The hobbits were walking in front. Fully rested, they had their strength back and were able to walk at speed once again. Frodo turned to Gandalf and said something quietly to him. Aragorn took this as his chance to get high with the elf and dwarf. "Quick", he said, motioning to Legolas to give him the pipe. "Sure", said Legolas, looking up from his now narrow eyes. Aragorn checked to see of Gandalf was watching, which he wasn't, then inhaled a large draw of the drug. "Holy shit!" he exclaimed. "I never knew pipe weed could pack such a hit!" He passed the pipe back to Gimli and suddenly felt the air around him caress his skin in a way it never had before. Legolas and Gimli laughed. "He's stoned", said Legolas, pointing and laughing at the ranger. "Hehehe", said Gimli. "The king is stoned". "hehehe…yeah", replied Aragorn, and they all laughed some more. It was then that Aragorn noticed Anduril, his blade. He took it from it's sheath and held it in front of him. "Whoah!" he said, looking amazed. "Anduril's so…big!" Legolas and Gimli laughed grinned. "It can reach Mordor from here!" exclaimed Aragorn, and brought the sword down in front of him, realising it couldn't reach Mordor. This had just been an illusion. He laughed and swung the weapon around. It hit Gimli in the back of the head. "hehe. That was trippy", said Gimli. "I'm wearing armour. Is that a coincidence or what?" Legolas broke into a fit of the giggles, and this inspired Aragorn to do likewise. Finally Sam noticed them, and saw Boromir about to take a draw of the pipe. "Mister Gandalf" he said, tugging at the wizard's robes. "Legolas and Gimli are getting everyone stoned". Gandalf turned round. "Quick!" shouted Gimli. "Hide the pipe!" Legolas took it and hid it behind his back. They did their best to act normal, but Aragorn couldn't wipe the grin off his face. "I'm warning you", said Gandalf in a stern face. "Don't get anyone else stoned. It's bad enough with you two, without the future king of Gondor being able to think straight. And don't even think about giving Boromir a draw. He's been off the stuff for a year now". He turned round and the two friends laughed again. Legolas presented the pipe to Boromir, who simply looked away. The elf shrugged his shoulders and put the pipe away. "Am I tripping?" he said. Looking up, a large blade was hurtling towards them at great speed. From its trajectory, it looked like it had been thrown from far over the mountains, possible from a nearby village. He wasn't sure if it was a trip or not, so he didn't say anything. He just looked at it in amazement. Then Pippin spotted it. "Look out!" he screamed. They all looked up to where he was pointing, and the blade came down and landed in Frodo's shoulder. "AAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Frodo. Aragorn quickly straightened up. "He's been stabbed by a Morgul blade…..Again!" he exclaimed.

Vegeta had not looked back since the company had parted. He was glad to finally be alone, and reckoned he would have all seven dragonballs by now if he had gone solo from the start. The ball was in the Northwest of middle earth, and he had a clear picture of the area it was in from looking at Goku's scouter. He remembered the exact location, and if the ball remained there, finding it would be easy. He decided to travel north first. Looking down, he saw a large part of Middle Earth. He could see Mordor, in all its barren glory, Gondor, the Emyn Muils, and the mountain Caradhras, He took no notice of any of the scenery and flew on. Looking down, directly below him he spotted a group of travellers. They seemed to be struggling with a large blade. He ignored them too and flew on, taking a more westerly course. The radar beeped in his head. It made it easier to visualise the position of the ball even though he didn't have the object with him. After a couple of hours flying, he spotted a large forest. This, if he wasn't mistaken, was the location of the dragonball.

After landing, Vegeta surveyed his surroundings. The trees seemed to be watching him. They looked as if they might come alive at any moment and attack him. The trees seemed angry. He walked around for a while, searching the wide forest, but found nothing. This would not be easy, but he was up to the challenge, or at least he thought he was. Had he known what lay ahead, he might have thought twice about going solo.

The shock countered the effect of the weed and Aragorn quickly ran to Frodo's assistance. "Legolas" he called, beckoning the elf. "Waaaaasssssuuuuupppp??????" answered Legolas, his tongue hanging out. It was no use asking Legolas for help; he was too out of it. Aragorn had been hoping the elf was skilled in the art of healing, as most were. Elrond had managed to cure Frodo of the stab he had received on Weathertop and before that, Glorfindel had managed to prolong the time it took for the poison to spread. Legolas probably could have found the right leaf to help Frodo, but there was only one type of leaf he was interested in at the moment. This meant Aragorn had to take matters into his own hands…his healing hands! He was the king, and the king was, after all, said to have healing hands. He took a cloth and wet it with some water. Putting it to the wound, he cleaned the infected area and did his best to work most of the poison out. He then placed his hand on Frodo's shoulder and pressed down on it lightly. Frodo stopped screaming for a moment. He suddenly didn't feel the pain anymore. Sitting up, he looked in amazement at Aragorn. "So it's true", he said. "You are the king!" Aragorn nodded and stood up. "You should be fine now Frodo", he said calmly. Gandalf picked Frodo up and they company continued their journey. Legolas and Gimli looked on in amazement. "Whoah!" they said together. "That was sooooo trippy".

Vegeta was now hearing things. The trees had eyes, and he could sense their thoughts, though this was surely impossible. 'They're just trees' he thought, but wasn't convinced. Despite this, he was still pleased when he heard a human voice in the distance. This was the first time he had ever been happy to find someone, but it was more for asking them if they had seen the dragonball than fear. He listened carefully. The words were louder now and he could make them out.

Hey dol! Merry dol! Ring a dong dillo!
Ring a dong! Hop along! Fal lal the willow!
Tom Bom, jolly Tom, Tom Bombadillo!

A short, fat man was coming towards him. He was too short to be human, but still plausibly short. He was skipping and dancing along the path directly in front of Vegeta. As he came closer, Vegeta could make him out in more detail. The man was wearing a hat with a feather in it. He had a bright blue waistcoat and green stockings. His boots were yellow, and he had a long, brown beard. His face was also a strange red complexion. Vegeta made eye contact with him, but he carried on singing in a sweet voice.

Hey! Come merry dol! Merry dol My darling Light goes the weather-wind and the feathered starling.
Down along the hill, shining in the…

"Who are you?" asked Vegeta in a stern voice.
"Why you be a-shouting at old Tom, now?" asked the man, his arms behind his back, stomach pushed out.
"I asked you a question!" demanded Vegeta.
"well…", said Tom. "I think this should answer your question". He coughed and opened his mouth.

Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow;
Bright blue his…

"NO MORE SONGS!" shouted Vegeta, interrupting Tom's song. Tom stopped dancing, poised in the position of his last step.
"I'm Tom Bombadil", he finally answered. "The oldest of all living things".
"Why are you singing and dancing?" asked Vegeta.
Tom thought long and hard, smiling all the time. "…I'm a merry fellow!" he finally said. "Join me in a dance my merry friend. Tom's here to lighten your heart with a song by your command". He started dancing again.
"STOP!" shouted Vegeta, agitated by Tom's antics. "I only came here to look for a dragonball. Have you seen it?"
"Merry a dil! What be a dragonball?" asked Tom.
"It's a small shiny orange object with stars in it".
Tom scratched his chin.

Old Tom Bombadil's seen no object orange
Ding dong, merry a dil….

"What rhymes with orange?"
"I don't care!" answered Vegeta. "Have you seen a dragonball or not?"
"No"
"Okay"
"No, wait. Tom has!" said the merry fellow.
"Where is it?" asked Vegeta.
"Tom won't give it to you", laughed Bombadil and danced away. "So long my merry friend!" he shouted as he ran off into the distance.

Vegeta was growing impatient and chased after the small man who was surprisingly fast, considering he was skipping, and not running. He chased Tom through the vast forest, at times using his singing to locate him. Tom always left a trail for Vegeta's senses. It was as if he wanted to be found. At last, Vegeta worked his way through a mass of bushes and found Tom standing, legs together, on a large rock. It looked like he hadn't spent a breath on the journey. He eyed Vegeta. Smiling.
"Give me the dragonball!" demanded the saiyan.
"In good time my friend", said Tom. "First, you must come back and feast with me. Goldberry has prepared a full table, laden with the most succulent fruit in the whole of the west".
"I'm not hungry", said Vegeta, impatiently. "Where is the dragonball?"
"Come and stay with Tom", replied the thing, and danced off again. This time, however, Vegeta wasn't going to let him get away. He jumped onto the rock and quickly powered up a Big Bang attack. When the beam was large enough, he aimed it at Tom and encased him in a shower of electricity and sheer energy. He let the beam die, and watched the surrounding trees disintegrate, then stood grinning while the smoke cleared. The area was cleared too. Huge numbers of trees and shrubs were destroyed without a trace left. But Tom was still there. He stood, still smiling, watching Vegeta for a few seconds, then as the saiyan's mouth dropped wide open, started another dance and song.

Ding dol, merry a dil! Not far from the shire!
Old Tom Bombadil, can't be killed by fire!

Vegeta got angry and began firing rapid bursts of ki pulses at Tom. Every one of them seemed to go straight through him, and Tom was unharmed.
"I told you I can't be hurt by fire", said Tom disapprovingly. "Now, won't you come and feast with Tom? The water is pure and the food is plenty". Tom danced off again, singing to himself, and Vegeta realised he had no choice but to follow Bombadil. Tom went slower this time, and Vegeta was able to keep up easily. In time, they reached a small cottage. The door was answered by a beautiful elf dressed in a white robe, a lilly-chain around her head, and also her waist. "Hello", she said, welcoming Vegeta. "I am Goldberry, the River Daughter". Vegeta grunted and folded his arms. "I only came here to get the dragonball", he said.
"And get you will!" said Tom. "All in due time. But first, you must dine with me and the fair River Daughter. If you would like to wash first, there's a basin and water in the washroom".
"I don't want to wa…."
"If you would like to wash first, there's a basin and water in the washroom", interrupted Tom.
Vegeta made his way to the washroom and took off his clothes, squeezing into the small, hobbit-sized basin. 'This is ridiculous', he thought. It was too small to wash in, so he splashed the water for a few minutes, then put his clothes back on and went back to Tom, who stood by the table.
"You didn't wash", said Tom.
"How do you know?" asked Vegeta.
"Tom knows!" replied Tom. It was no answer Vegeta could comprehend, but true nonetheless. "Come, take a seat. The table is set my friend", said Tom, offering Vegeta a place by his side. Goldberry sat at one end of the table, and Tom at the other. Vegeta sat uncomfortably; the seats were hobbit-sized also. "Eat" commanded Tom.
"No!" said Vegeta, now very angry. "I'm not hungry and I won't eat! The only reason I came here was for the dragonball!" He got up and started to make his way to the front door.
"Come now old Fussypants" said Tom, cheerfully. "If you leave, Tom won't give you the dragonball you desire". This stopped Vegeta in his stride. He ground his teeth and sat at the table again.
"Eat" said Tom, gesturing to Vegeta to do so. Vegeta took a fw handfuls of fruit and a slice of bread and butter and ate it. "There. Now can I have the dragonball?" he asked.
"Thank Goldberry for the delightful feast" said Bombadil.
"Thank you for the feast Goldberry", he said quickly. "Now give me it!" he demanded.
Tom got up and helped Goldberry clear the table. "I think you should stay the night", said Tom. There was no point arguing with him. Vegeta had finally realised this.

It was time for bed, and Goldberry wished them a good night. Vegeta got into the tiny bed and tried to find a way to fit his whole body into it without being bent double. He gave up after several attempts and bore the pain and the coldness. The pain was soon overcome by the greater pain he felt as Tom spent half the night telling stories of the forest, of how the elves came to the west, of his encounters with man, and of how he met the River Daughter. Many of these tales involved long songs that were painful to Vegeta, and he grew bored easily. He came close to vomiting a couple of times as he was tired, but the voice wouldn't cease. "Be quiet," said Vegeta, but Tom went on talking as if he hadn't heard Vegeta's plea. Finally Tom fell asleep and Vegeta took his chance to look for the dragonball. He decided to go to the kitchen to begin his search there. Opening the bedroom door he saw Goldberry in front of him. "Were you going to look for the dragonball?" she asked, although she already knew the answer.
"Yes", said Vegeta, not caring if she knew the truth. "Out of my way woman". But he had spoken too loudly and Tom awoke. "What you be a-doing my merry friend?" he asked.
"Oh crap!" said Vegeta. "Now the psycho's up!"
"Go back to sleep. Gain energy and rest well, for tomorrow is another day to dance and sing and be merry".
'If he says merry one more time, I'll kill him' thought Vegeta. But Tom could not be killed by conventional methods. "Goodnight", said Goldberry, and she tucked Vegeta back into bed. Tom's snoring started to sound like singing. Vegeta didn't get any sleep that night.

The next morning Tom's alarm rang. He put it off and was out of bed five seconds later, not looking the least bit groggy. "Rise and shine my merry friend. The sun is shining and the flowers are dancing for you". Vegeta got out of bed, feeling like a slave and followed Tom to the kitchen where Goldberry had prepared another feast. She was not there however; she was dancing by the river and picking lilies to put in her hair. "Eat", said Tom, and Vegeta humoured him, swallowing several large mouthfuls of food. "Are you not hungry?" asked Tom. "No", sighed Vegeta and rested his head against his arm, but Tom wouldn't take no for an answer. When breakfast was done, he cleared the table and led Vegeta outside. The sun shone on the forest, penetrating the trees and blinding Vegeta who was tired and restless. Tom danced his way to the river and joined Goldberry in a song. Vegeta sat by a rock and listened to the voices as the river began to spin and blur in and out of his vision. He felt woozy, but had a strange grin on his face. Later, Tom led them back home where he and the River Daughter sang some more and ate. Vegeta was hunched over the table, grinning and laughing to himself quietly. It was soon bedtime again, and Vegeta couldn't sleep…again. The sound of singing echoed through his head, though all was quiet. Without meaning to, Tom had broken the saiyan's spirit.

"Good morning!" shouted Tom the next day as his alarm went off.
"Morning my merry friend dil dol derry iend", replied Vegeta, mumbling, yet smiling.
"Ready for another day of singing and dancing by the river?" asked Tom.
"Yes", said Vegeta, and walked as if his body was under someone else's control. Tom took him into the kitchen, and Vegeta sat down. He had learnt the routine by now, and looked at the meal on the table. His eyes scanned the vast array of food. Finally they stopped on something orange. It was an orange! 'Orange', thought Vegeta. 'Orange….Dra…Dragon….dragonball!' In an instant, he regained control of both his mind and body and picked the table up, slamming it to the floor along with its contents. "Give me the dragonball!" he demanded once more. Tom looked sad. "I…I…I just wanted some company", he whimpered. "I was going to give you the ball in a couple of days. It's just…I'm so lonely here in the forest. I mean, The River Daughter is good company, but I think she's cheating on me with the River Son, and I have noone else to talk to."
"Spare me the sob story!" shouted Vegeta. "Where is the dragonball?"
Tom went over to the floor and pulled up a loose floorboard. He put his hand in and took out a dragonball. "I was going to give it to Goldberry as a present", he sobbed. Vegeta grabbed it from him and made his way to the door.
"Wait!" cried Tom.
"What?" asked Vegeta.
"Won't you stay a while?" sniffed Tom. Noone had ever upset him before.
"No", said Vegeta and flew off.

He eyed the dragonball as he flew back to the meeting point. He had been through hell to get this dragonball, but still felt strangely unfulfilled. He was feeling something he didn't feel often. It was guilt. 'Blast you Kakorat', he thought. 'It's your fault I have these emotions now'. He turned around and flew back to the forest. Finding Tom's house, he knocked on the door and waited for an answer. Finally the door opened and Tom looked out smiling. Vegeta looked back at him. "I have returned", he said.

Stay tuned for Chapter 3, where Trunks and Goten make a new friend