Chapter 9: The last dragonball

"What is this thing again?" asked Boromir. It was the seventeenth time Yamcha had been asked the question, so he could see it coming. No matter how many times he gave the same answer, his new friends couldn't seem to grasp the concept of a machine that could fly without wings. He ignored it this time and decided to wait till it had been asked twenty times to answer it once more. As long as the radar showed they were nearing the dragonball, he would stay sane. Concentrating on its beeps helped him to ignore the annoying string of repetitive questions anyway and he had never appreciated Goku more than he did now for giving him the tool. In his opinion, this saviour in the form of a dragon radar was a kinder gift than the defeat of Friesa and being brought back to life by the dragonballs. Of course he still had to keep a watchful eye on the passengers to make sure they didn't touch any of the numerous buttons that were scattered around the helicopter. He looked at his watch and rolled his eyes. It was time. '5…4…3…2…1' he counted in his head.
"What is this thing again?" asked Legolas. They were regular as clockwork. The pattern suggested to Yamcha that this was a deliberate ploy to get on his nerves, but it wouldn't work this time; they were only on number eighteen.
"What does this button do?" asked Gimli. The introduction of a new question inclined Yamcha to answer, hoping it would take their minds off 'What is this thing again?' He looked round to see what the dwarf was looking at.
"DON'T TOUCH THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed, just as Gimli was about to press it. He put his hand to his heart and recovered his breath. Several decibels louder and he would have probably given himself a minor heart attack. The others looked confused.
"That's the ejector seat!" said Yamcha, annoyed. "If you'd pressed that you would have shot through the roof and be falling to the ground right now!"
"Oh", was all Gimli could say in response to the explanation. Yamcha turned back and checked the radar. The interruption had put them slightly off course. He adjusted the controls and once again they were on the right track. Meanwhile, Legolas had an idea. He leaned over to his friend and whispered in his ear 'I dare you to press it'
'No way!' Gimli whispered back.
'I knew you wouldn't', continued Legolas. 'Dwarves are all cowards.'
'If I must press the button to defend the honour of my people, then so be it!' said Gimli, and Legolas looked very excited as the dwarf's finger approached the button. The clumsy dwarf finger sunk down heavily and seemed to be moving in slow motion as the button pushed into the control panel. Suddenly it popped back up and Gimli disappeared. A loud, deep, scream could be heard in conjunction with a smash, and many shards of glass fell into the small compartment.
"What the…" said Yamcha, quickly turning. "OH NO!!"
Thinking fast, he put the helicopter on auto-pilot and opened the side door. He jumped out and flew towards Gimli who was hurtling towards earth at a great speed. He flew as fast as he could and caught up with the dwarf.
"By Durin's tomb! This is the greatest thrill I have ever experienced!" shouted the dwarf. Tears rolled from his eyes due to the pressure of the wind on his face and he seemed to be smiling.
"You idiot!" said Yamcha, flying fast beside him. "Don't you know you're going to die?"
Gimli had apparently forgotten about that. "Save me!" he shouted.
Yamcha rolled his eyes once more and flew below Gimli. He caught the foolish dwarf and flew him back up to the helicopter, strapping him into his seat. "Noone else do that!" he warned as he put the auto-pilot controls off and retook control.
"How was it?" asked Legolas.
"Fun", replied Gimli, "But I almost died."
"Cool," replied the elf. "I wonder if my eject button works."
He pressed it and a high-pitched scream was heard in conjunction with another loud smash.
"Shit! Not again!" said Yamcha. He put auto-pilot back on and leapt through the door. Flying towards Legolas, he caught the elf easily. Legolas had not yet peaked in his upward trajectory, so it was a simple matter of flying low to catch him. This was because elves are much lighter than dwarves. Yamcha strapped Legolas into his seat and took out a screwdriver. He opened the control panel for his seat and cut every wire in it. He then proceeded to do the same for Gimli's panel, Boromir's and Aragorn's. This time he was taking no chances. Putting the helicopter off auto-pilot, he retook the controls once more and relaxed.
"What is this thing again?" asked Aragorn, and a very loud scream was heard for a long time. The question was never asked again.

After a while they landed. The radar beeped loudly in Yamcha's hand as the five left the copter. Noone had said anything after the scream, noticing how edgy Yamcha seemed and the rest of the journey had been spent in silence. But now as he stepped onto the soft grass and felt the sun hit his face, he smiled again. Seeing it was safe to talk, Aragorn walked alongside the young man and studied the radar with him.
"Why have we landed?" he asked.
"I think the dragonball is near here somewhere", Yamcha replied. "I think we should go by foot now."
"I agree," said Aragorn, and the company followed them. They walked for a while before coming to the start of a large forest. Realising there was no other path to the dragonball, Yamcha led them through it. As he walked, a strange feeling of déjà vu came over him. The lighting of the forest, the height and nature of the trees, the stony ground…this looked very like the forest he had battled those strange creatures in. He didn't say anything , mainly as he wasn't certain, partly so as to not worry his troop, but he sensed danger was present. If the forest could speak, he thought it would be telling him to leave…now…and never come back, and he had a feeling it was good advice.
The air became putrid deeper into the forest. It smelt like warm blood that had been exposed to the sun. Yamcha knew the smell all too well. He looked round at the others who seemed to be aware of it by the screwed up looks on their faces. Then suddenly he stepped in a small pool of water. He looked down at his shoe and found that it was not water. His suspicion as to the nature of the smell had been correct and he was, in fact, standing in a pool of rotten blood. Near it lay a helmet and some broken armour. Small knives and daggers were scattered about the place and body parts of strange, but familiar, creatures.
"Orcs!" yelled Boromir upon seeing the mess.
"Don't shout," warned Aragorn. "We don't want to attract attention".
Yamcha looked at the surroundings and felt relieved. "It's okay", he told them. "They're all dead".
"How can you know?" asked Gimli, looking suspicious of Yamcha.
"Because I took part in their final battle".
Their eyes widened as they stared, admiringly, at Yamcha who seemed emotionless as he checked the radar once more, probably to take his mind off the sight. So many questions formed in their heads in light of this information, but they were interrupted before they could ask them.
"Quite a mess, isn't it?" said a foreign voice. A tall, hunched-up man stood before them. He wore a long, tattered robe that looked like it hadn't been washed for a while and his beard was almost as long and dirty, although its original whiteness still showed in places. He looked old and had a face that inspired pity to its viewer. He smiled despite his obvious misery and offered his hand to Yamcha. After shaking it, Yamcha wiped the confused look off his face and asked the man who he was.
"I was a great being at one time," said the man, "Now I am not. I was a fool," he continued. "Now if a fool I be, I know it even less. My appearance has withered quickly much as my stature has, for now my outward visage has become like my inward."
"That's all very well", said Yamcha, "but what I wanted was your name and your business."
"Can't you spare some time to hear the story of a poor, lonely beggar?" asked the man.
"Maybe, but tell me your name and business first."
"My name is Sharky", said the man. "My business –not that it is any of your business- is as I have already stated, a beggar."
Yamcha had no desire to discuss the mess of orc ligaments and armour lying about, so he decided to keep Sharky off the subject. "Why did you come to us?" he asked.
"I came for company, but failing that anything you can spare would be appreciated. I have very little and less than I need."
Aragorn stood closer to Yamcha and whispered in his ear. "Do not be deceived by him. Men of such stature do not belong and forests and should not be trusted."
Sharky looked up and grinned through narrow eyes.
"We'll give him what we can," said Yamcha, and took a couple of energy bars from his pocket. Aragorn and Boromir took some bread from theirs and Legolas and Gimli unwillingly handed over a small amount of weed.
'There goes our Sunday toke' they both thought to themselves.
"Thank you", Sharky said, "you're good deed will not go unrewarded."
He laughed to himself as he walked slowly away, clutching the goods in his hands.
"I do not trust him at all", said Aragorn. "He did not seem as he claimed to be."
"Look," said Yamcha, "Noone's more distrustful than me, and I think he was legit".
Noone argued and they walked on.
A few minutes later Yamcha went to check the radar. "It's gone!" he exclaimed as his hand felt around his pocket.
"What?" asked Aragorn. "Are you sure?"
"Yes. I can't find it anywhere!"
"When did you last check it?" asked Boromir.
"Right before…", he stopped as his face suddenly took on the expression of someone who had just seen a ghost. "Right before we met the old man."
"I told you we shouldn't have trusted him! Everyone split up. Meet back here in ten minutes or shout for us if you find him."
Immediately they ran off in different directions. Aragorn gave Yamcha a stern look before he left.
Ten minutes later they met up. Noone had called for anyone. They each saw the disappointment in the others' eyes as one by one they returned, alone.
"Now what?" asked Legolas. "He not only has our radar, but he also has our weed!"
"Don't worry", Yamcha replied. "We're very close to the dragonball anyway. We don't need the radar now. It's just a matter of looking around. Even if we had the radar, it couldn't have pinpointed the location any better than it already had."
"Okay," said Aragorn. He was not quite so upset now. "Let us leave the forest. It will be easier to find if we ask someone close to the area and I doubt we'll find anyone here."
The others agreed and they set off once more.

They left the forest at the north exit, avoiding Isengard, though none of them knew it or would have recognised it should they have taken the east exit. Following the strength at which the sun penetrated the trees led them out of the forest and back into civilisation, if you could call it that. There was grass once more. Pure green grass and not the mud-riddled stuff they had been walking on for the last two hours. The sun shone brightly and forced them to shield their eyes till they were used to it once more. A long narrow path ran across the ground, too straight not to be man made, and a bizarre looking house, for want of a better word, faced them from a quarter of a mile off.
"Who would live in a house like that?" asked Boromir.
They watched for a while and saw nor heard neither sight nor sound, bar the humming and singing of the birds. Then the silence was broken. Something stepped out in front of Boromir.
"AARRRRGGGGHHH!!!!!!! IT'S A BIG FAT MONSTER!!" he cried, deafening them all.
Once the scream had stopped, Yamcha opened his eyes again and gave a confused look as the beast came into focus. "Wait a minute…" he said, "That's not a monster. That's…"
"BUU!!" came the monster, finishing Yamcha's sentence for him. He let out a high pitched laugh. Not an evil laugh, but rather a friendly, playful laugh.
"Do you know this monster?" asked Aragorn.
"Yes", replied Yamcha. "He'll be fine as long as we don't upset him. Humour him at all times and we'll be safe".
They all started laughing along with Buu, grinning at him, though they were unsure as to why they were laughing.
"How did you get back?" asked Yamcha. "I thought you were dead."
"Buu wished back," replied the gelatinous blob.
"Oh," said Yamcha, confused. He could not remember anyone wishing Buu back.
"You want play with Buu?" asked Buu.
"Sure," said Yamcha, and he shrugged his shoulders.
"Good. You come to Buu's home. We play game."
Aragorn walked alongside Yamcha as they approached Buu's house. "Why does he refer to himself in the third person?" he asked.
"Leave him be. You're a hundred times more pretentious than him," Yamcha replied.
They were at Buu's house now and Buu told them to wait outside. "Buu go get playmate!" he smiled. They looked confused as he went into his eclectic house. 'What does he mean by playmate?' they all wondered. A moment later he returned with a large, funny looking man. He had a black moustache and an afro and wore a very worried look on his face. "Buu have new friends, you say hello to Buu's friends now!"
"He…hello!" waved the man.
"Hercule!" shouted Yamcha, surprised to see him. "What are you doing here?"
Hercule ran over to Yamcha and spoke quietly to him. "I thought he was dead but he wasn't. He found me one day and flew me back here, he wouldn't take no for an answer, you gotta rescue me, please!!"
Yamcha was becoming more confused by the minute. Hercule and Buu living together? They were like the original Odd Couple!
"I say we rescue him," said Boromir, and he drew his sword as he stared Buu right in the eyes.
"NO!" shouted Yamcha, putting Boromir's sword away. Don't try anything! He's stronger than all of us combined!"
Boromir unwillingly tucked his sword away and did not look happy. It was time to ask for help now as they had a task to complete. Yamcha approached Buu carefully. "We're looking for a dragonball Buu," he told the pink marshmallow.
"Dra…gon…ball?" asked Buu, sounding confused.
"Yes, it's a small orange object with one or more stars in it."
"Oh! Buu be right back!" he grinned, and went once more into his house.
"Ta da!" he exclaimed as he rejoined them, dragonball in hand. The company was overjoyed to have found it. They did not realise how difficult it would be to obtain though.
"Alright!" shouted Yamcha, jumping for joy. His mission was complete. "Can we have it Buu?"
"No, Buu want shiny toy for Buu!" answered the pink um…thing. He started to walk away, then shouted his name before dancing off around the house.
Yamcha joined the others to see if they had any ideas. None of them could think of anything that would work. Hercule refused to help them as he was terrified of Buu, though he claimed it was because he didn't like to interfere in the affairs of others and the task was too simple for him, being the World martial arts champion.
"Me, help you? Get the dragonball?" he said, mockingly. "Oh no! That's much too easy for the likes of me. I wouldn't demean myself by trying!" Translated, this meant 'Please don't anger Buu. Please! I don't want to die and he'll kill us all if you try to take his toy!' Sweat trickled down his forehead as he attempted a smile to cover his fear. By this time, Buu had circled the house and stood before them once more. He saw their faces and frowned.
"Buu no give shiny toy!" he said, once more.
"That's it!" exclaimed Boromir. "We need action!"
Still hungry for battle, he drew his sword again and aimed it at Buu.
"NO!" shouted Yamcha. "He's far too powerful!"
Boromir ignored him.
"Boromir, put your sword away!" begged Aragorn, but the hero wasn't listening. He plunged his sword deep into Buu and watched as it sunk into the globular mound.
"Hehe. That tickles!" said Buu.
Boromir pulled his sword out and sliced Buu in many places. Buu started to get angry. With a huge burst of energy, he blew Boromir twenty feet away from him. Aragorn ran to his aid, but stopped as he saw Buu approaching them both.
"Buu make mean man go bye bye!" he said, sounding very cross.
"Don't do it!" screamed Aragorn as he held Anduril against Buu.
"Turn into chocolate!" said Buu, and a beam flew from his antenna-like head. It struck Boromir who managed to let out one last scream before being changed permanently. Aragorn looked on in disbelief as Buu picked up the bar of chocolate that used to be Boromir and ate it.
"Yum! Mean man taste very yummy!" said Buu as if to mock Aragorn, though he was too naïve to actually be mocking him.
"Alas," said Aragorn quietly. "We have lost a brave and valiant soldier, nay but a man. He died in battle but he shall not die in vain. As long as it is under siege, I swear to do all I can to defend Minas Tirith and his honour!"
He swung Anduril at Buu with such rage as was thought unimaginable in the soul of a king. Buu looked confused and was thrown back by the force. Aragorn had but the strength of a man, but Anduril was made of stronger things.
"Don't do it!" advised Yamcha. "You'll only get yourself killed too!"
He was being foolish, but it was understandable why he was so angry. Buu stood back up and said "Big power!" This was his strongest attack, and no one person stood a chance against it.
"No!" came Hercule suddenly. "Remember Buu, to kill is a bad thing!"
Buu stopped the attack and looked round at his playmate. "But mean man make Buu sore," he said.
"Um..he was just playing Buu. Yeah, that's right…playing. Hahaha. He's trying to be your friend!"
"Oooohhhhh!" said Buu, apparently having been fooled by Hercule's lie.
"You want be Buu's friend?" he asked Aragorn.
Yamcha, Legolas and Gimli all nodded at him. Aragorn was proud, but not foolish. He had no choice but to agree and he too nodded.
"Now Buu has lots of friends!" smiled the creature and he started skipping with his arms behind his back.
"I know that was hard, but we have to humour him," said Yamcha.
Aragorn turned and faced him with a stern look. "He was one of the bravest men I ever knew," he said.
"I know, but we have to stay focussed on the mission", said Yamcha. "Besides, if we get all the dragonballs, we can wish Boromir back."
"Is that possible?" asked Aragorn, suddenly interested.
"Of course, so help me get the dragonball off Buu, will you?"
"Of course."
Though still angry at Buu, Aragorn had cheered up considerably and was now in a state to focus on the task at hand. It was then that an opportunity arose to obtain the dragonball as Buu made an important announcement: "Chocolate make Buu sleepy. Buu go sleep."
He went into the house and from the moment he lay in his bed, loud snoring could be heard. The dragonball had been left outside on the ground, vulnerable and ready to be stolen. Yamcha knew this could be their only chance. 'Carpe diem' to told himself and grabbed the ball. Hercule's eyes almost burst out of their sockets.
"What are you doing???" he asked, sounding very scared.
"We're taking the dragonball. See ya later Hercule."
"No, you can't do that! Buu will go mad! He'll kill us all!"
Yamcha laughed out loud. "Buu's asleep and probably will be for ages. We'll have plenty of time to escape."
"No you don't understand…" Hercule did his best to warn Yamcha but he was interrupted by a loud yawn. Buu stretched his flabby arms and put his clothes back on.
"He only sleeps for a few seconds at a time," finished Hercule. "Please put back his toy. I don't want to die!"
Buu could be heard talking to himself from inside the house. "Ahh! Nice new day, Buu all fresh and relaxed and ready to plaaaay!"
Yamcha's eyes mimicked Hercules. "RUN!" he screamed.
With their knees up to their chins, Yamcha, Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli ran faster than they ever had before. Even Gimli with his short, stumpy dwarf legs managed to keep up with the quick and agile Legolas. They did not look back once and they did not stop for breath. Yamcha knew that once Buu found out they had stolen his toy, it would only be a matter of seconds before he caught up with them and by that time they would need to be deep into the forest to remain hidden from him.

Buu opened the door and stepped outside with a smile on his face. He looked at his playmate, the People's champion, who was biting his nails and shaking from head to toe. Upon making eye contact with Buu he bolted off into the horizon leaving a trail of dust behind. Buu looked around and wondered where everyone had gone. "Where Buu's friends?" he asked himself in a voice that would have earned him a successful Tellitubby audition. Quickly a new thought entered his head. "Where Buu's toy?" he asked. It wasn't on the ground where he had left it. It wasn't in the house or he would have seen it when he got out of bed. At that very moment, a neuron fell into place in Buu's brain and allowed him to process a single thought. He put two and two together and for the first time ever, made four. "Friends steal Buu's toy?" he asked. A sudden rage rose through his body and his jelly-like arms wobbled before rippling violently. His face went a dark shade of red and steam came gushing from all his pores at once. "FRIENDS STEAL BUU'S TOY!!!!!!!!" This time it was a statement, not a question, and the whole of Middle Earth could hear it.

"That didn't sound good," said Aragorn, stating the obvious. The four had reached the forest now and were aware from the high pitched scream that Buu had discovered his toy was missing.
"Don't worry. He won't find us in here," said Yamcha, trying to calm them down. He didn't anticipate what would happen next though. A dark shadow covered the area of forest they were running in, forcing them to look up. They could see Buu, though he couldn't see them. Yamcha didn't expect the monster to have this kind of intelligence, but here he was hovering high above the forest ready to flush them out. A large ball of energy was growing in his hands as the grin on his face grew with it. "Big Power" Buu said to himself as he threw the ball down. Yamcha and co dived for the bushes as the blast landed, throwing them several feet into the air, then landing them on the hard ground. They were too weak to run, but the area of forest they were in had now been mostly exposed and they were aware that Buu could most likely see them. And then their suspicions were confirmed.
"I see you!" said Buu and he powered up another energy blast.
"Stop!" shouted Yamcha. "We'll give you the dragonball!" He realised he had no other choice. Buu raised the part of his face where an eyebrow would normally be and started to descend slowly, floating down towards the thieves.
"Where Buu's toy?" Buu asked when he was five feet above them. Yamcha reluctantly took out the ball and held it out. But just as he was about to hand it over, the ground shook slightly. He withdrew his hand and listened. A new noise could be heard now; a terrible, destructive one that seemed to ripple out through the forest and cause the very roots of the trees to tremble. Buu forgot about his toy for the moment and looked for the source. Then the shadow came. It filled the entire forest and blocked out the sun. Something was coming their way. At first they could see the tusks; giant and shiny, reflecting the light of the sun away from them. They ripped the trees and broke them in two as both the terrible legs, thick as an old oak tree, powerful as a herd of rhinos, crashed down upon the ground next to them. Gimli, being the smallest, strained his neck to see the creature's head. He could make out a large snout and two much larger ears. It looked very peculiar, but also tremendously powerful, as it smashed its way through the forest. None of the company could tell you what it was, but it was in fact an Oliphaunt. These were fabled creatures that some believed existed and some didn't. Aragorn didn't despite the fact he was seeing one now. He didn't pay close attention to the details of the beast and hence could not have figured out its nomenclature. To this day he will tell the story of how he saw the most terrific beast in the forest to the west of Middle Earth, only to follow it with the fact that he does not believe in Oliphaunts. Of course it is obvious why it was making its way towards them now. It was angry at being wakened by Buu and when it saw the destruction of a large section of forest, this only heightened its rage. He cared no more for the damage he would do to his home as long as the culprit was taught a lesson. They all ducked and scrambled for cover as the Oliphaunt picked up Buu and crushed him in his giant hand. A loud high-pitched scream was heard by Yamcha and the others. He told them to run once more and run they did having got their breath back. They did not witness the assault on Buu, not wishing to look back, as they made their way through the forest once more. Finally, the other end could be seen and light shone on them again. Running had made the journey go faster and it only took them forty minutes. The helicopter was where they had left it and they climbed in. Yamcha started the engines as explosions went off in the distance. The chopper took to the sky and made its way back to Dende's land.
"What is this thing again?" asked Legolas, and a loud scream was heard; the last for a while and the last words of the journey back as they sat in silence, their mission complete and in possession of the last dragonball.

So the last dragonball has been found, but our heroes still have a long way to go. They now only control ine of the seven dragonballs, but will it be enough? And what of Boromir? See how he fares in chapter ten where he meets an unexpected friend