This story is mine, begun in the year 2002, and is currently unfinished as of May 2003. Not all of the characters are mine, for example, Elaith Craulnober, Jander Sunstar, Brian, Laeral, etc. Those characters belong to Wizards of the Coast, and the writers of the forgotten Realms novels in which they appear. The original characters, like Keledrial, Ranon, Hank, Calvin, Tobias, Lita, Sera, Rosealliele, Liralyn, etc. are mine, however, and are not to be used without my permission. Some of the plots may seem familiar, as they were based on adventures published in the Dragon magazines, and dungeons and Dragons material put out by Wizards of the Coast. The rest of the plots are mine. This story was written for purely entertainment purposes and not to make any money. Just thought I'd repost the warning, seeing as I haven't since chapter 1!
Note: some of you may recognize the name and some of the story used for Jander Sunstar. The base for this story was borrowed from Christie Golden's story, The Quiet Place, in the Realms of Magic novel. I have changed the story a bit, thus making it somewhat of an alternate universe kind of thing, by adding the presence of Astianna. Understand that I hold Christie Golden's character and story in high regard, hence the reason I borrowed from it. Jander Sunstar belongs to her, and not me, but the rest of the people involved are my original characters.
To my readers, Arabwel, Aquila, Catspaw0913, Crazefanficboi, Raelli, and Silverwolf, thank you! for reading and reviewing. As long as you continue to enjoy, I will strive to finish this story. Also, to any interested, I have a character sketch of Keledrial completed. If any of you would like for me to attempt to e-mail you a copy, which should be viewable in the windows paint program, just email me. It's not great work, but I've been told it's not terrible either. Enjoy the next chapter of this sad affair. Azurielle
"Sera's "Something" turned out to be the new abjuration teacher…a young elven woman by the name of Rosealliele Silverspear. My daughter made her move a few days before the students were set to return from their break.
She was clever, asking if a friend of hers could come to dinner at our apartments that night. She made certain that I was occupied when she asked so that I would not see her face as she asked…not notice the sneaky expression that must have been lurking there. Absently, I told her that it was fine. She thanked me profusely, gave me a kiss on the cheek, and skipped off merrily.
In retrospect, I should have realized that something was up.
However, I was quite oblivious until dinner time rolled around, and Sera arrived with her "friend" in tow.
Sera's guest was none other than the abjuration teacher that Liralyn had hired. Tobias had spoken a little of her when he dropped her ff at the school, but I had been more interested in other conversation at the time.
Rosealliele Silverspear was clothed casually, wearing a dress that I recognized in style as having come from Evermeet. My first impression of her was that she was somewhat common looking. She had long black hair, nearly to her waist in length. Her eyes were a dark color that I couldn't quite make out without appearing to stare. I assumed they were the usually dark blue that is common among moon elves. Her features seemed…average. Oh, don't get me wrong, she was pleasant enough looking…after all, I would be hard pressed to find a moon elven woman of my own age that I did not find attractive. It was just that, at first, there was nothing about her that really jumped out at me, demanding that I take notice.
That is until Sera, doing her best to be a polite little hostess (a clever little schemer!), introduced us.
"Daddy, this is Lady Rosealliele Silverspear, of House Silverspear of Evermeet," she said to me.
"Lady Rose, this is my Daddy, Lord Keledrial Nightstar, heir of house Nightstar of Evermeet," she stated to the etriel before turning back to me, beaming over how well she'd done with the introductions. I had to admit she sounded very proper…rather like my mother, I should say.
Dredging out my court manners, I took the etriel's hand in my own, and bowed over it, trying to recall if I had met her before. When I straightened up, I caught a clear view of her eyes. I was surprised to see that they were not blue, as I had assumed, but a most clear and perfect shade of amethyst. More importantly, though, those lovely eyes were full of anger…directed at me. I hid my confusion, wondering just why a women I did not even know would have cause to look at me like that. A moment later, the expression was gone and I wondered if I had imagined it.
"Greetings, etriel," I spoke to her. "I apologize that we have not met before this."
"It is nothing, quessir," she replied, sounding graciously. "I'm sure you have had much to occupy your time." Perhaps I was hearing things, but I was almost certain there was a tinge of sarcasm to her tone, though her voice was sweet and melodic, accented with the speech of Evermeet.
"I did not know that you were the friend of which my daughter meant. I assumed our guest this evening would be one of the students," I shot Sera a look stating that I did not appreciate her trickery. The little darling didn't even have the decency to look abashed.
"Well I am no student, for certain, but it is certainly my hope that Kaithseraly and I shall become friends. Both you and she are quite well known on Evermeet, and I certainly never thought I would be one of her teachers," the etriel stated serenely.
"Sera," my daughter corrected, as we moved to the small dining area that was in our apartments, for when neither Sera or I wished to join the mob that lived in the Sunstar house with us.
"I like to be called Sera better," my girl explained.
"Sera, then," Lady Silverspear replied with a dazzling smile. That smile lit up her face and turned plain features stunning. I couldn't help being struck by her. She was quite lovely, I had to admit, realizing that perhaps I'd been mistaken in my first impression of her. I hid my sudden attraction, though. The last thing I wished was for Sera to think that her little ploy was working. After all, I may be attracted to the pretty new abjuration teacher, but that doesn't mean I want to wed her. Bed her, perhaps…
The dining area had already been set with food, that one of cooks had helped me bring up. Seeing as I had assumed that it would be one of Sera's young friends joining us, I had invited Bran to join us. The northman had agreed, claiming that he never turned down a free meal. I had figured at least that way I would have someone to talk to throughout the meal that was at least close to my own mental level. Strangely though, a note arrived mere moments after Lady Silverspear. The note was from Bran, stating that he couldn't make it after all, and perhaps another time. I smelled Sera's meddling all over it. One of these days I am going to have to explain to her that she can't keep doing things like this.
Dinner went smoothly enough. No disasters or anything. Rosealliele, as she insisted we call her, spoke about Evermeet a bit, and of how excited she was to have been accepted to teach here. I found out that she had been one of my neighbors on Evermeet, and that she was the granddaughter of Lady Tyllaetha Silverspear, the current matriarch of the family. And while I cannot ever recall having met Rosealliele, which is not surprising considering she stated that she did not attend court often, I do remember her grandmother quite clearly.
Even as a child Lady Tyllaetha both fascinated and frightened me. Well over 600 years old, the woman was a warrior and a wizard with a history of questing and violent adventuring. Having been in the Silverspear house once or twice, I vividly recall the woman's study…a place where the heads of evil creatures she had slain hung on her wall…including that of a pit fiend. She had a strength of personality that left me cowering when I was a child, and she could even make my parents seem young and inexperienced.
The past few times I had met her, though, she seemed almost as fascinated by me as I had been of her. She had questioned me on several occasions about my ability to berserk, though I doubt my answers had satisfied her. In truth she wanted to know how I accomplished it, and I was uncertain how to explain that I could simply summon the anger and energy with my will alone.
Looking at Rosealliele, though, I saw little of her grandmother in her. In fact I had a hard time believing that Rosealliele, like myself, was in line for her family's moonblade. I wondered if she even knew how to wield a sword…but assumed that she must be able to, as all potential heirs to a moonblade are taught the wielding of one long before they inherit it.
Once dinner was though, and we were better able to converse, Rosealliele turned the topic towards myself. She asked how it was that someone like me managed to get a position as teacher. There was an edge in her tone that suggested she did not necessarily agree with such an appointment.
Perhaps it was because of that undertone I sensed that I did not entirely tell the truth. What I did tell her was that this was a place the Queen had recommended I go, and that Liralyn had seen fit to offer me the job. It was not quite a lie, but for some reason, I didn't want her know that Liralyn had been all but ordered to have me here.
The truth of the matter, however, was as the evening came to a close, I'd realized two things. One was that I had a definite attraction for Rosealliele Silverspear, and two, that she has some sort of…disapproval, for lack of a better word, against me. And seeing as I do not recall having met her before, I can only think it is because she heard about the fight.
She left perhaps two hours after the meal had ended. The very moment the door closed behind her, Sera began grilling me.
"So, did you like her, Daddy?" she asked, trying unsuccessfully to hide a hopeful expression.
"Yes, Sera," I sighed, mentally shaking my head at my daughter's scheming. "She was very nice."
"Didn't you think she was pretty, though?" Sera pressed.
"Quite lovely," I responded.
"So can we invite her to dinner again?" She wanted to know. I saw exactly what she was trying to do. It was at the tip of my tongue to refuse, to chastise her for tricking me into thinking her guest was one of her friends…but at the last moments I held my words. For some reason…probably my year of celibacy, I wanted to know more about Lady Silverspear. The best way to do that was have opportunity to see and speak with her again…something that would not happen otherwise, seeing as we teach two very different subjects, for one. If Sera wanted to meddle and invite the etriel back again I wasn't going to argue. After all just because I'd like to see the fair woman again didn't mean I was going to marry her or anything. And besides, I wanted to know just why she seemed so…annoyed at me. So, rather than refuse, I nodded.
"If you want, I suppose it would be alright." I had to sound a little reluctant, otherwise Sera would think that something was up. She was, after all, used to having me resist such things.
Needless to say Sera was ecstatic, and went to bed that night with her head full of plans and hopes. Poor thing. Truly I feel bad that I can't provide her with something she appears to greatly desire, but she will survive. Besides, my interest in Rosealliele Silverspear is purely physical. Now all I have to do is convince her to reciprocate.
Two nights have passed since we had dinner with Rosealliele. The students are beginning to filter back into school, all of them excited at the prospect of a new year of learning and the like. Strange thing is, though, my mind is not on the classes I will soon be teaching, or on seeing my students after such a long break…but on Rosealliele. The fact of the matter is that I cannot seem to drive her from my thoughts. The more I try, the more I end up thinking about her, going over the conversations in my mind again and again. I have a nagging feeling that I should know her, for one. Yet I cannot place her in my memories at all. I suppose this sudden obsession proves that celibacy lasting any decent length of time cannot be healthy for males. Maybe this is the reason so many of us get tricked into marriage…well, this, and the "duty" forced upon us by our families. This terrible feeling of…lust, I suppose, could be an explanation, anyhow.
In any case, I have managed to drop the hint to Sera, without giving anything away, mind you, that it would be fine to invite her abjuration teacher back any time she wishes. So now, I'll just have to wait and see if she accepts. If she does, annoyed or with me or not, it must mean that she is at least willing to tolerate my presence. And that is always a step in the right direction.
I saw her again today. She was having lunch with a few of the other teachers, only a few tables from where I was seated with Bran, Tully, Magnar, Rogan, and Harl. Harl was talking at me, praising the colt that Lashrael 2 had sired on his mare. He was saying something about how smart the beast was, but I hardly heard him. I picked at my food, as I watched her. She was talking with Joylin, Starya and Lavender about something…they were just out of hearing range. Starya mentioned something, the elven druid's expression was questioning towards Rosealliele. Then Rosealliele laughed. I could just barely hear the sound, and as I was wondering why I found that sound so intriguing, I noticed that the four of them were shooting glances in our direction…more specifically…my direction. When my eyes caught hers, our gazes locked for a brief moment…long enough for me to suspect that they had been laughing about me. Irritated, I dropped my gaze back to my plate, not feeling overly hungry just then.
Conversation continued on around me, but I hardly paid note of it, until Harl got up to leave. With the straight-laced presence of our paladin in residence gone, the conversation took a turn towards less…polite topics.
"So, Keledrial," Bran nudged me with his elbow. "What think you of the new abjuration teacher?" Trying to sound nonchalant, I replied.
"She's fair enough, I suppose."
"Only fair?" asked Rogan, the archery teacher, with a half-grin.
"Aye. I've certainly seen prettier on Evermeet," I shrugged.
"Elf or no, though, she's definitely a pleasing wench to gaze on," Bran commented, looking pointedly in her direction. The lascivious expression on the northman's face annoyed me, for some reason…as did the idea of a human admiring Rosealliele.
"But not for the likes of you, Bran," I almost snapped at him. My tone drew all of their eyes to me.
"Ah…I see," Bran nodded, taking my words good-naturedly. "You fancy the wench, is that it?" Thinking that it would better to just agree with them than protests, which would only make them more suspicious, I shrugged.
"And why not? As I said, she fair enough. And I haven't had a woman since I left Evermeet."
" Well ye'll get no trouble from us, lad," Tully stated, the others nodding. "But if ye've got ye're eye on her, I'd move a wee bit quicker. Wasn't it yesterday that we saw Kellenes chatting it up with the girl?" he asked Magnar. The dwarf nodded and grunted, not overly interested in our discussion of an elven woman, I gathered.
So Kellenes had his eye on her. Fine then. All the more reason to try and seduce her, I figure. After all, I may have a truce with his brother, but I still owe Kellenes a beating. And since I can't do it physically…well. Let us just say that this type of "competition" was one I learned to fight well while on Evermeet. And it could be every bit as enjoyable as pummeling the little shit with my fists.
Sera is upset, and for that matter, so am I. We waited for Rosealliele to arrive for dinner for nearly two hours before giving up, and eating the cold meal alone. Sera had used all of her meager cooking skills to aid the cook with the dinner. She had been so happy at the idea of being able to impress the etriel. By the time I finished eating, Sera was beginning to sniffle unhappily.
"Sera," I said to her, sighing. "I am sure the etriel merely forgot that the dinner was tonight. There's no need to be upset." Sera shook her head in response, her silver eyes growing wider as they started to fill.
"No…she said she would come, but she didn't. She doesn't like us anymore."
"Sera…" was all I said. What could I say? I certainly didn't know the reason behind Rosealliele's absence. Thankfully, the eruption I feared did not occur. Sera merely sighed, and stood up.
"Maybe you're right, Daddy. I think I'll go to sleep now." She gave me a kiss goodnight, and shuffled off to her room in such a dejected fashion that it was painful for me to see. All I could think was that the woman had better have a good excuse for making my Sera upset.
The next day, when no apology arrived, I decided that it might be prudent to go speak with Rosealliele myself, to ask what had happened. However, either I was looking in the wrong places, or the etriel had done her best to avoid me, for I did not manage to see even once throughout the course of the day.
Just before giving up to leave the school grounds and return to the Sunstar house for the evening, however, I caught a glimpse of her, near the teachers' housing. She was speaking quietly with Kellenes Dakarios, and though they were not touching, something within me grew angry at the sight of them standing together. Before I could think better of it, I strode up.
She seemed a bit startled at my sudden appearance; Kellenes less so.
"Is there something you want, Nightstar?" Kellenes asked, rudeness evident in his tone. Ignoring him, I focused on her.
"I would like to have a word with you, etriel," I stated. She looked up at me. There was a flash of anger in her violet eyes, but then she smiled pleasantly, and once again I was left wondering.
"Of course, Lord Nightstar. If you would excuse me, quessir?" she nodded to Kellenes. The other bowed curtly, and stalked off. I paid him no mind.
"I was wondering what the reason was for your absence yestereve, etriel?" I ground out, uncertain of why I sudden felt so angry. "However, it occurs to me, perhaps, that Dakarios' presence might explain it." The last comment slipped out. I swear I hadn't even been thinking such a thing, but well…there it was. She stared up at me, meeting my gaze fully, and replied,
" Was the invitation yesterday? I'd forgotten. I am so sorry." She sounded sincere, but I was certain she wasn't.
"If you are, then I accept your apology, etriel. However, I don't care for seeing my daughter upset. I won't have you toying with her affections." I could hardly imagine why I was being so rude. Well…it's not like I am not rude, for the most part, but I do have some manners. I should have been being more polite to her, her being a lady and all…still there was just something about her that was rubbing me raw. What she said, in response to my statement, however, was most certainly…interesting.
"Unlike you, Lord Nightstar, I do not "toy" with peoples' affections," she bit out, the anger that I had glimpsed readily evident now.
"Do you have some sort of grievance with me?" I asked her. "Have I wronged you somehow?"
"You don't even remember, do you?" she countered with a question of her own.
"Remember what?" I was growing annoyed. She crossed her arms over her chest, glaring brilliantly.
"How comforting to know how little the lives of others are to you that you can't even recall when you ruin them," she remarked.
"How did I ruin your life?" I demanded. I could not, for the life of me, ever recall having met her before this, and certainly I didn't remember ruining her life! Why couldn't the frustrating woman just say what was eating at her?
"Not me, you…" she cut off the curse she had been about to say. "My cousin!"
Your cousin?" I repeated, trying to think whom she could be talking about.
"See? You have no idea whom I am speaking of do you? For your information, Lord Nightstar, her name is Miraya Silverspear." The name did summon a face to mind…a moon elven woman, silver hair, green eyes. I shrugged.
"As I recall, etriel, I spent only one night with Miraya…the same night I met her. A night, I might add, which was entirely of her initiative. Rather a short period of time to ruin someone's life, don't you think?" She almost quivered with anger.
"You seduced her! I know all about you! Do you think I don't have ears to listen with? Keledrial Nightstar…the poor youth who had to grow up among humans. I almost felt sorry for you…but that was before you started earning your new claim to fame. My cousin was to be wed…to a fine quessir, I might add. But no! Along you came and he wasn't good enough for her anymore! She threw away her marriage, her betrothed, and our family's honor for you…and you can hardly even remember her name!"
"Why are you so upset about it?" I asked, a bit confused. "I didn't do anything to you." I caught a change of expression in her eyes…an ever so slight altering, before she turned her back to me. I could be wrong, of course…it certainly wouldn't be the first time…however, I am almost certain what I saw was the smallest hint of jealousy.
"You ruined my cousin's honor…and through her, my family's," she told me. I laughed.
"I don't think so. Miraya certainly did not have enough standing in your family to ruin the great Silverspear name. And further, as I said, it was your cousin who came to me. She "ruined" herself, if that's what you wish to call it. However, I was under the impression that the People, unlike the humans, were not so particular about things like virginity and the like." She spun back to me, her fists at her sides, clenched.
"That's not the point! You didn't even care about her!"
"No…I didn't. I won't lie. She's just was just another woman to me." I shrugged.
"That's all we all are to you, isn't, Keledrial?" she snapped.
"I've yet to find any woman worthy enough to elevate my opinions," was my slightly acidic reply. All I had wanted was an apology for missing the dinner that Sera had planned. I wasn't exactly certain how all of this had come about, or why. Yet I did know one thing…the conversation was growing less concerned with my seduction of Rosealliele's cousin, and more concerned with my opinions on women in general. Finally Rosealliele shook her head at me.
"Then you apparently haven't been looking very hard have you?" With that, she spun away and u into the building behind her, slamming the door.
As I walked back to the house, I wondered just exactly what all of that had really been about. The truth of the matter is, as I have said, I don't think it was so much about her cousin, as it was her disapproval of my behavior…which is, of course, ridiculous, for as I stated, I never did anything to her! I vow, I will never understand what goes on in the minds of women!
The past few weeks have certainly been annoying, let me say. The students, for the most part have been all right, not causing much trouble, except for Jaelen and Sorcha whose rivalry is even worse than it was last year.
It is everyone else that has been driving me nuts. Where shall I begin?
First there is Zelairwyn. He and Liralyn had an argument when he attempted to confront her over the issue of his father and the medallion. He's been biding his time, and I am surprised he waited this long to act. At this point I think he would just be satisfied with Liralyn "revealing" his father's name, and let the issue of the medallion go for a while. Naturally, she refused. The argument was not a quiet one either. Less than ten minutes after it began, everyone in the house began to come up with excuses to be anywhere else but there.
When he did not prevail, Zelairwyn's parting words to his mother were that he hated her. A door slammed, and a moment later I heard the sound of my cousin crying. I don't know why she is being so stubborn about this. What could it possibly hurt for Zelairwyn to know his father's name…especially when he already knows it anyhow?
Deciding to stick my nose in, I went to where my cousin was, in her study. Her golden head was down on the desk, shoulder shaking.
"Why don't you just tell him, and spare yourself the heart ache, cousin? What harm could it possibly do?" I asked her. Her head came up off the desk.
"You're right, I should tell him. But I won't. I don't want him to know how close he is to danger, all because of his father's name. Then he would start wondering about the medallion even more, and demand to know that next. He's so stubborn, just like Xharlion was! He would never let it go…just as you won't let it go, will you?" I shrugged.
"I am trying to make things easier for all of us. Why must you persist in refusing him the truth about who he is?"
"Oh, you!" she clenched her fists on the desk, her voice strained. "It's you who's causing all this trouble! Wherever you go, trouble follows, Keledrial! Can you never be content to just leave things as they are?"
" Apparently not, cousin," I sighed, for her words had stung just a little.
"I just want my child to be safe! Why can't you and he just accept that?!"
"Sometimes safety is not the most important thing, cousin. You have to be able to live first. Otherwise what reason is there for safety?" I asked, thinking of my own struggles with my parents and how close to Arvandyr I nearly came because of their well-intentioned "safety."
"Why is it so important to him, anyhow?" Liralyn's eyes were liquid silver, even as tears or frustration spilled over her golden cheeks. It was so odd to see an Ar'Tel Quessir acting so emotionally, when it has always been we moon elves who are accused of such behavior.
"I never met my father! He was nothing more than a name to me…worse, his very memory stole my mother from me…from Mallorn! I hated him, even knowing that he knew nothing about my existence!" She stood up, nearly knocking her chair over in her vehemence to convey to me what she was trying to say.
"I hated her for loving him so much that she didn't have enough left over for Mallorn or I! He wasn't even an elf anymore when she abandoned us to seek him out! Not even an elf! Just a damned vampire! And why should Zelairwyn care about Xharlion when he has me?! Xharlion was nothing more than a spoiled boy, and I was a stupid girl to ever think he loved me! Why is it never enough to you men to know that you have our love? Why do you always think you know better about what is good for us?!" Liralyn was now screaming at me, focusing all her pent up frustration and fury on me.
The words coming from her mouth were years of bitterness and resentment building. I didn't know what to think, or do. She hadn't loved Xharlion? Or had she? She was obviously angry over her mother and father…although come to think about it, I do not think I recall ever having heard the name of her father. And what she meant by calling him a vampire? Surely she hadn't meant a real vampire.
I stood there dumbly, my mind recognizing that I should say something to comfort her; that she was becoming hysterical… my lovely, calm, gold elven cousin, hysterical…however, I stood there, like a fool, unable to think of a single syllable to utter to help her. I have never been very good with words…or my emotions, but I feel that that is no excuse. Or at least it is not a good one.
"I just want…" she never did finish the sentence. Instead, she hurled herself at me, pummeling at me, yelling that she hated me. I grabbed her wrists quickly, not about to let her attack me when I had done nothing wrong. She struggled for a moment, than gave in with a deep sigh. Her head slumped forward, blond hair hiding her face.
"I just want everyone to be safe…to be happy…Zelairwyn wouldn't be happy if he knew the truth…just like I wasn't happy when I found out the truth…"
"Liralyn," I began, in a tone as gentle as I could manage. "I understand what you want. I really do…but no matter how much the truth hurts, sometimes it has to be said or the lies fester."
"Just go away Keledrial," Liralyn said to me, unable to meet my eyes. "Just leave me alone. I need to think." Deciding that at this point retreat was the best option, I began to release my cousin's wrists, when a movement by the door caught my attention.
Zelairwyn stood there, his silver eyes furious, fists clenched at his side.
"Mother…" his voice shook. " I heard you. I heard what you said. I know his name. I know you're lying to me about something." Liralyn merely shook before me, crying still. She said nothing. Whether Zelairwyn had actually heard what had been said, I didn't know…but the shouting had certainly been loud enough, I imagine.
"And you," Zelairwyn suddenly turned on me. "You let her go and leave her alone. You had no right to make her cry. You're a liar just like her. You know the truth and you won't tell me…not because you can't, but because you won't. You promised to help but you didn't." I dropped my cousin's wrists as though they burned me. I felt a moment of sharp betrayal. I had tried to help Zelairwyn…had come up to confront Liralyn to do that very thing, and he not only accused me of being an oath-breaker, but of attacking Liralyn as well!
" I don't know why I bother," I muttered to them, annoyed to hear the slight tremor in my own voice. "I'm damned if I do and damned if I do not, so what's the point of even trying to help?" I left them to themselves, to argue or make up as they willed. I was done with my cousins for the day. Maybe even longer. The constant stress is driving me mad.
I arrived back at my rooms, determined to go into reverie and find some rest in some of my few happy memories…to leave this world for a while. Even in the simple task, I failed.
Before I had a chance to do so much as lay down, Sera entered my room, demanding to know why I had been shouting at Liralyn and why I had been mean to Zelairwyn adding that I should go back and say that I was sorry for doing it.
I was so terribly frustrated and weary that I did not think as I replied.
"Kaithseraly!" I all but shouted at her. "Will you just shut up for a little while so I can think for five bloody minutes?! By Corellon can't I ever have a moment's peace?! Between you and your cousins' incessant harping, I'll have a head of gray hair before my second century!"
The minute the words were out of my mouth, I wished them back. I cannot recall having ever spoken so harshly to Sera in her life. Her reaction showed it, too. Her lower lips trembled for a fraction of a second, and she bolted from the room in tears, ignoring me as I called out that I hadn't meant it.
I slumped to the ground next to my bed. I am thought odd because I have an actual bed that I take reverie in. Most elves use chairs, or couches. Not me though…I am just so damnably… human at times.
Somehow, I slipped into reverie after all…but it brought no comfort to me. As I am told humans have "nightmares," there are times when even reverie is not restful to elves. This was one such time. Instead of finding peace in my good memories, I was tormented by the bad…all of my mistakes, old and new taunted me. When my mind tired of that, I began to focus on none other than Rosealliele Silverspear. Her face came to me again and again, beautiful and smiling at first, but then filled with such scorn, all focused at me, that I felt as though her expression was killing me.
I awoke still feeling the pain in my heart that her gaze had caused, and the heaviness of melancholy upon my shoulders.
I forced myself to get up, uncoiling my sore muscles, and trying knead the kink out of the back of my neck. I shall have to remember to never try to take reverie while seated on the floor.
I decided that my first priority should be Sera. I knew I had to find where she'd run off to and try to get her to understand that I hadn't mean what I'd said.
A search of the house revealed only that she was not in it, and further, that night had fallen while I'd been trapped in my "nightmare." Liralyn was locked into her study, Zelairwyn in his room. I asked a few people if they'd seen her, ad took note of how they refused to meet my eyes. Finally, one of the servants stated that they'd seen Sera running up the path to the school, so I headed in that direction.
I looked about for a while, then, on a hunch, I walked over to the building where Rosealliele lived. Sure enough, I heard faint sobs, even before I neared the door…a sound I would recognize even in death.
I knocked on the door, and a few long moments later it was opened by Rosealliele. The etriel was a bit disheveled looking, yet still quite lovely, despite the tears stains on her simple lavender dress. She looked up, saw it was me, and the look of scorn that had haunted my reverie…the very same expression crossed her face.
"What do you want?" she asked, her voice mellifluous and sweet, despite her irritated tone.
"Is Sera here? I must speak with her."
"Haven't you done enough damage for one day?" Rosealliele replied with a question of her own.
"I just want to see her, to apologize," I pleaded. "I didn't mean what I said." I had thought she would merely sneer and say something cutting…perhaps even slam the door in my face. What she did, I did not expect, nor was I equipped to handle. Her expression softened, and she seemed almost…understanding.
"I know you didn't. I don't think you have it in you to hurt her on purpose. But she's still terribly upset. Why don't you let her stay here tonight? That way you can talk in the morning, when things are calmer?" I was stunned. Wasn't this the woman who hated me for "ruining" her cousin?
"Why are you helping me?" I wanted to know. She shrugged.
"It's more like I am helping your daughter. She's a good girl, and I hate to see her upset."
"That is the only reason?" I pressed. Rosealliele paused, as though considering her words…whether to speak or not. In the end, she did reply.
"You made a mistake. Everyone deserves a second chance to try and make things right."
"Do you really believe that?" I asked, wondering why my heart had begun to flutter and beat erratically within me. Once again, she seemed to consider her words. After a long moment, she looked back up at me, and all trace of the scorn was gone, and when she spoke, her eyes met mine and held, and I knew that she was truly sincere, for the truth was there for me to see, written plainly in the depths of her wondrously violet eyes.
"I guess I do." Then without any further discussion, she returned to the house, closing the door quietly behind her. A moment later I heard her voice again but not the words, comforting my daughter. I wasn't certain whether to feel grateful or jealous. After all, Sera has always been my sole responsibility…the one thing in my life that I had always had to figure out for myself. I can't say that I was happy about anyone else becoming involved…yet somehow, because it was Rosealliele, I did not mind as much as I think I might…which is, of course, bizarre, seeing as I know little to nothing about her!
And as I left, I began to wonder what good I was doing here, if any. I wondered what I could say to Sera to make right all I set wrong with my careless anger. I wondered if I ruined things for good with my cousins, Liralyn and Zelairwyn. And about the only thing I knew for certain was that Rosealliele Silverspear does not hate me.
I spent the night outside, as I did not care to attempt reverie again, nor had I any wish to be inside a building. It was a dark night, for Selune's light was in its phase of renewal, and only the stars were there to illuminate the darkness. I left the grounds of the school, and out into the forest. Even at night the forest, though still, is not silent. I wandered, hardly hindered by the illusions , for I could sense their magic easily enough. None of the actual guardians appeared either, knowing, I suppose that I am a teacher at Everall.
The night air was cool for summer, but I hardly felt it. The sounds were soothing, though I turned over the many events that had occurred of late, over and over in my mind, keeping me from being truly calm.
I wondered if it was something about me, as Liralyn had insinuated…something that in me, perhaps, that felt the need to stir up trouble. I almost think there might be. After all, for all my claims that I desire some manner of peace in my life, I rather think that I would be bored to death if I truly had it. Yet, all the same, I do seem to cause grief to whomever I am with, and it is certainly not my intention. My friends, family, and acquaintances alike suffer my wrath, and suffer by their association with me. The thought comes to me at times that perhaps it would be best to disappear into the vast spaces of Toril, and leave them to be free to live their lives as they so choose…without my interfering or harming them.
Just as I was thinking such things, I reached a grove, mostly hidden behind a thick tangle of trees. Within the grove was a pool of perfectly still water; so still that it would be as a mirror, had the moon been out to see by. It was surrounded entirely by large oak trees that almost appeared to have been planted in a circle on purpose. There was a faint tingle of energy to the air of that place, but it was not disturbing…more comforting than anything. It seemed like the perfect place to relax…or hide. So I chose a likely spot and decided to attempt to do both.
My thoughts wended along the same track for a while, as I stared blankly into the water, seeing in the blackness of the pool the reflection of the night's stars in the sky…my namesake, I suppose.
The last thing I expected was to hear a voice pierce the silence of the grove.
"I know what you're thinking, and the answer is no."
Normally I would have instantly been up, weapon readied to defend against peril, but I realized that during all the goings on, I had left weapon and glove on the stand beside my bed. Besides that, however, I felt no malice from the voice that was familiar…and in the calm of the night, had no will to fight.
I did, however, look up to see whom the speaker was once I heard the softest rustle of leaves as said person entered the grove with me. The light of the stars and my own excellent night vision made out familiar black hair, and a tunic so bright I could swear it nearly gave off its own light.
Mallorn…another cousin…great.
"I do not know what you mean," I stated, dropping my eyes back to the water.
"You are thinking it would be better for all in your life if you were to go away…that you have caused them enough grief with your presence. You are thinking it will help if you do this. You are wrong."
"Reading my mind, now are we?" I asked, without much bitterness. I couldn't seem to muster the energy for such high emotion. "See anything else interesting?" I heard Mallorn sigh, heard the sound of leaves crunching as he sat down not far from me.
"Nay. I need not read your mind, cousin…for what you are feeling I have seen before. And the result of the action you are thinking of, too, have I seen."
"Tell your tale, bard, for I've a friend whose voice carries the same tune when he means to blather on. I know better than to argue," was my reply to his statement. I guess, to an extent, I did want to hear what he had to say…if nothing else than to try to make sense of what had happened today.
" It happened to Liralyn…and myself," Mallorn began, his voice taking on the mysterious quality that storytellers lend to their tales to catch the audience's attention. But in my Cha Tel'quessir cousin's voice, I also detected a note of sorrow.
"Our mother thought once, as you do now for reasons she thought were equally as valid as your own. She left me that day and I have never again seen her, to this day…and feel that I never again will."
"Why did she leave you?" I wanted to know.
"It is a long tale, some of which I suspect you already know. It starts with love," he replied.
"It always seems to," I commented. He ignored me, and continued.
"My mother, and Liralyn's…her name was Astianna Nightstar. She, like Liralyn, like I, was a bard. She learned in Evermeet, and came to the mainland seeking adventure. But it did not end well for her. Hardly more than a year or two after she'd left her home, her fellows dispersed after several failures. Mother gave in, deciding to head back to Evermeet.
She traveled back, towards Waterdeep, by caravan, but the caravan was attacked by bandits. Mother was knocked unconscious and awoke in a temple, to the human god called Silvanus. The priests there treated her wounds. Yet, she soon found that all she owned had been taken, even her boots. Mother eventually found work in a small village not far from the temple, in a tavern…singing for extra coins as she carried drinks and food to the patrons.
When she finished work, she had only the night hours to herself, and she tended to walk. On one walk, she discovered a grove, much like this one…and a pool that was similar as well," he gestured to where we were sitting.
"And as I entered this grove to see that it was not empty, so she soon discovered the one she had found was occupied. Meaning to bathe, a voice interrupted her. That was where she met Liralyn's father…the elf she fell in love with, only moments later, upon taking her first glance at him."
"Elven love?" I interrupted, scoffing. "You mean to say you honestly believe that nonsense that an elf can just look at another and suddenly be in love with them, without even knowing them?" Mallorn took the question in stride, merely shrugging his shoulders.
"She believed it," he answered in true bard form…not truly answering anything, that is.
"Living in the grove," he continued, as though he'd only paused to take a breath, "was an Ar'Tel Quessir by the name of Jander Sunstar. Mother saw him, and loved him in that moment. But she soon learned that his tale was sadder than her own. The gold elf lived in the grove as a sort of penance, she discovered. He was bound to never leave the circle of the trees, or a dread thing would happen. Jander, you see, had once been like mother…an adventurer, heading home to Evermeet. On his way home, he too was attacked…but he did not come out so fortunate as my mother. A vampire bearing the shape of one that Jander had called "friend" attacked him. And by the next night Jander was one of them…one of the undead."
"So that's what Liralyn meant!" I exclaimed softly, unnerved by the notion of an elf being forced to become undead. It was a terribly thought, and must have been a more terrible fate. Had it been me, I think I would have walked out into the sun the very next day and died, rather than hold such an unlife.
"Aye…that is what my sister meant. As I understand it, Jander wandered for a time, until he found himself free of his vampiric master. One night, in despair, he called out to the gods, near the very grove where my mother met him. And they answered…" he paused…for dramatics, I supposed.
"The human goddess Eldath, with the permission of Silvanus, granted Jander as much as she could, for the gold elf had a good heart. She pushed him beneath the water of the pool in that grove, a holy place to Silvanus. When he surfaced, he was alive once more, in every way but one; for though Jander breathed air, and felt true hunger once more, Eldath could not return the sun to him. But as long as he stayed in that grove, she told him, he would remain as a mortal elf in every other way."
I took a moment to contemplate what that must have been life…to be gifted with a new life, only to be forever trapped in one place, bound to the night for the rest of his natural life. I shuddered, thinking that I would have slipped towards Arvandyr within weeks.
"It was not long after that that Mother stumbled into the grove. She was glad to see another elf…so she told me. She spoke with him for a time, but he must have felt her desire for him…her love. They did not talk long. I can only imagine that after so long being undead, that when his living sense awoke, he felt more types of hunger than one."
I glanced over, and could see, even in the faint light that Mallorn was blushing as he was trying to explain that his mother, and this former vampire, Jander, had had sex…not that it wasn't obvious that it happened, anyhow.
"Anyway, mother told me that she was fairly certain it was that first night when she became pregnant with my sister. Apparently Jander truly had been restored to life in everyway but one," he added, unnecessarily. "The nights passed and mother became determined to stay with Jander, her love…even though the reality of it meant that she would be as bound to the grove as he. And worse, the truth of it all, was that even as mother loved him, Jander did not love her in return. I think that he might have tried, but it must not have been meant to be.
In any case, the affair did not last long. One night, some few months after their first meeting, mother arrived to find the grove empty of his presence. She saw smoke up at the temple of Silvanus…and it was not long before she learned what had happened. The bandits that had plagued the area had returned and attacked the priests. Jander, true to his nature had given up his gift from Eldath, and left the grove to save them. Though he had done it out of good, the gods would not allow him to return to the grove. So he left. Mother never again saw him, though she searched long.
Once mother realized that she carried with her, perhaps the only child Jander Sunstar would ever sire, mother abandoned her search for a time, and went back to Evermeet, where she had my sister, Liralyn. She stayed for a few decades, but her desire to try to find Jander, and seek some cure for him became stronger than her need to be my sister. She left Liralyn in the care of her parents, and returned to the mainland.
While my sister grew up on Evermeet, my mother searched. Then, some many years later, my mother encountered a man by the name of Kail Darkriven. This man was a half moon elven wizard, claiming to be a diviner who could find anyone for a price. Mother was desperate, for she'd found no trace of Jander…as though he'd vanished from Toril. She came to Kail, and asked for his aid. He gave it…for a price. The price was that my mother would be bound as his servant for five years, at the end of which, Kail would give her the location of her lover. Mother agreed.
What she didn't realize at the time, was that Kail was not the diviner her professed to be, but was far more skilled in the arts of necromancy, curses, and bindings. Kail was not a pleasant man, nor one who liked being rejected. It wasn't long before he professed to love my mother. She rejected him. When she did, Kail grew enraged and told her that he would do his best to find Jander Sunstar…that he might kill the elf and drive him from my mother's heart. Mother tried to leave then, but found she was unable to break whatever magic he'd used to bind her.
It wasn't long before Kail's anger turned to violence. He raped my mother…and I am the result of that union. When Kail learned about me, he began planning…telling mother that he would train me to be as he was. My mother told me that Kail's grip on reality began to loosen, and that after I was born, she feared for her life, and mine. She mustered all her skill and used Kail's own spellbook to break the binding on her…and then she ran.
For the first five years of my life, I remember only that we moved from place to place, always hiding. But in the end, he found us. Kail was truly mad by that point, and had decided that mother had "corrupted" me by turning me against him.
Though I was but a child, I will never forget his words that day. He said that because my mother had been unable to love him, he would steal all love from her. He cursed her, and with her, Liralyn, myself, and Zelairwyn…who was still unborn at that time. His curse was that mother and all who had came from her would fall into a stasis-like sleep, and never awake until all the people we loved were dead. He said that way, when mother next awoke, it would be to the knowledge that her parents, friends, and Jander would all be gone, and he assumed that Liralyn and I would blame her for the loss of the people we loved as well.
After that, I remember falling asleep. We awoke many centuries later…by that time, Kail had forgotten about us. But he had hidden mother and I away in a place so well hidden that we were never found…which is why no elves on Evermeet could awaken my sister. To remove the curse, you see, one would have had to find mother first," Mallorn informed, answering the question I had always had as to why no one...not even the high mages, had been able to free Liralyn from her enchanted sleep.
"Anyhow, mother stayed with me for the next ten years or so, but she was never happy. The curse had taken its toll. She believed, as Kail had wished, that my sister must hate her, and that I did as well, no matter my protestations. She felt that her mere presence in their lives had caused the deaths of everyone she had ever loved, and had hurt Liralyn and I so much that we surely had to hate her. It wasn't true, but in her despair, that is how she saw it. She left just before I turned sixteen, leaving only a note professing her sorrow for having ruined my life, and asking that I convey the same regrets to my sister, should I ever meet her. I never found her again, no matter that I spent the next ten years of my life searching for her…and still do, to this day.
So coming to the point of telling you all this, cousin…I loved my mother…and so does Liralyn. Her absence in our lives has been more profound than the so-called "destruction" she felt she brought to us with her presence. I know that all that has happened lately has you thinking that maybe your daughter, and your family would be better off if you weren't in their lives. So I say to you "No." Don't even think it. They need you more than you could imagine. And if I could have anything right now, it would be to have my mother here for just one moment so that I could say that to her…as I should have when I had the chance," Mallorn stood up, as he finished, his eyes meeting mine for a long moment as he spoke. Then without another word, he vanished back into the forest, presumably the way he'd come.
I stayed in the grove thinking over everything Mallorn had said. There was a degree of merit to his closing statement, I suppose…for who better to know than one who has experienced the same thing? And his story about Astianna had explained a few of the things that Liralyn had said, especially those things pertaining to her father, and confusion as to why Zelairwyn should feel so strongly about his father, when she had never really known one. Still, for all that was said and done, I had gained sympathy for my cousin, and some understanding. I had also come to a fairly firm decision that no matter what happened, no matter how hard this got, I would stick to my duty and keep my place here…although it will certainly be more difficult with both my charge and his mother angry at me.
Furthermore, I knew that I had no intention of leaving Sera, not that I ever did really. True, the thought crosses my mind in moments of despair, but for all that she is truly the most important person in my life. If she wishes me gone, that would be one thing…but until such a day occurs I will never be far from her life. After all, had not Mallorn stated that he wished for his mother back more than anything? I can't do that to Sera. I can't just leave her. She's far too important to me. And I will go back to the school in the morning and do whatever I must to make certain she understands how sorry I am for yelling at her in such a harsh fashion. After all she was only trying to make me act in the very manner I counseled her to. My temper gets away from me at times, but it is no real excuse. Yes…I think that on the morrow I shall be doing quite a bit of apologizing…to Sera, to my cousins, and perhaps even to Rosealliele. In the short term it will show Sera that I am sorry, and that I do practice what I preach at her…in the long run, perhaps apologizing to all of them will ease the tension a bit, and doing such a thing is a miracle that I would truly love to see achieved!