Here is the next chapter. Sorry that it is shorter than usual, but between college and work I have little time. Hopefully I'll be getting a laptop soon, and will be able to update more frequently. I know the story is going a bit slowly lately, especially for those of you who prefer more action and such, but I assure that this is all working up to the final, great battle of the story. Also, the Dramatis Personae has been updated, and now includes a small lexicon section at the bottom which explains the difference between all the –quessir words, and a few of the other elven words I've used throughout the story. If I missed anything, ask and I will add it. Read and enjoy.
To Arabwel, Aquila, Catspaw0913, Crazefanficboi, Raelli, and Silverwolf, thank you again for all your reviews!
You know, I find myself fascinated at how fast news of any interest travels around the school…and further, how distorted it becomes. Truly it is an amazing thing to witness, and even more irritating to be the focus of!
I ended spending the night in the forest…nothing bothered me. I never did manage to find a decent reverie, and so ended up being a bit tired and sore by the time the sun rose and I headed back to Everall.
I made certain to arrive after first class had already started, and after posting a note at the forge that my class was canceled for the day. I left instructions that the students were to go to the library and research the heated and forging methods of one unusual type of metal. We'll see what they come up with in the morning. I should have been paying more attention to Tully and Magnar, taken more than passing noticing of the intensely curious expressions the two had, that I might have had more warning about the storm of gossip that had swept through the school.
I made my way over to Rosealliele's apartments, and knocked. I imagined that I must not have looked all that good after a night in the forest, for Rosealliele barely managed to hide her grimace beneath a polite smile as she answered the door.
"I want to speak with her," I stated plainly.
"All right then, come in," she replied. When I didn't step forward, she stopped, giving me a questioning look. I worked up my courage. I have discovered that apologizing to someone has to be one of the hardest things to do, even though it's only a few words and an admittance of wrongdoing. Give me a nice battle with a dragon any day!
"Look, I…I just wanted to apologize," I managed to say to her. She raised one dark eyebrow, curiously.
"Oh? For what?"
"For my behavior towards you the other night. I should not have accused you of what I did. And…well…for your cousin, I guess. I'm sorry that what happened between her and I upset you, or if it caused any grief to your family." I suppose it wasn't a lie, for I was sorry it had upset her…it would certainly make seducing her harder, for one thing. But as for my behavior, I suppose in that, I had been wrong to be so accusatory. Truth is, my parents would have my head if they ever found out how badly I'd treated a lady of equal standing.
"You are?" she asked, somewhat incredulously.
"Didn't I just say so?" I replied with a question, a little annoyed. Why is it that women need things to be repeated to them? After all, I know she heard me.
"I…guess you did," she answered. "I just never thought I'd hear an apology." Then she looked downward, her eyes not meeting mine.
"I guess I owe you one as well, then."
"What for?" I wanted to know.
"Well…you were right about one thing. I did remember about the dinner…but I didn't go because…well, because I wanted to…annoy you," she confessed. I think she might have wanted to say something other than "annoy" me, but I'm not certain as to what.
"I didn't realize how it would upset Sera, though. She really is a sweet little girl. And it was definitely wrong of me. I guess we both made some mistakes." I shrugged.
"I guess…"
"Why don't we start over?" she suggested. "After all, we're both nobles and someday, I may end up leading my house, just as you will lead yours. The Nightstars and Silverspears have been allies since Myth Drannor, and it wouldn't do to have a rift between us." She made it sound all so sensible, as she held out her hand to seal the agreement. I took her hand in acceptance, even though I was thinking that while she may lead Silverspear someday, I doubt that I will lead the Nightstars. I'm not the type, for one…and leading usually requires some sort of heir. I guess that technically Sylthas would be my heir…if I ever agreed to lead…which I may never do. Still, there was no need for her to now that. And besides…she's my daughter's favorite teacher at the moment…one reason to try to settle down the trouble. Further, I realized I was no less attracted to her, than I have been since I met her. I still firmly intend to try to seduce her…all though I'm sure that she won't be very happy with me once I succeed, seeing as I'll eventually get bored of her. But I'll worry about that when it happens.
After the first apology was out of the way, Rosealliele lead me into her apartments. They weren't large, but seeing as she was just one person, I and not very big at that, they didn't really need to be. I guess the rooms were nice enough, with lots of cases stacked with all sorts of books…some of which looked quite interesting. But the rest of the place seemed a little too…feminine, for one…and too small for another. The place made me feel like I was some sort of giant, really.
Sera was not happy to see me. She started to cry as soon as I walked in the room, as Rosealliele made a discreet departure. I apologized immediately, several times. Apologizing to Sera is easy to do, harder to get her to believe. In the end, I had to try to explain all the reasons for what happened, my yelling, Liralyn's yelling, and so on…altering the truth enough so that Sera could understand, and yet without giving away too much about the real problem. Children can be so difficult. An hour later, I think I finally managed to convince her that Liralyn and I had been having a small argument, and that Zelairwyn had gotten upset about it…just as Sera often got upset when there was a misunderstanding of sorts. She seemed to understand, and finally accepted my apology, though it also took a goodly dose of bribery to help her along. Two new dresses and rides on Lashrael 2 for a month…that child drives a hard bargain. And yes, I know, I shouldn't be resorting to bribery…but sometimes, especially when one is dealing with a dragon, it's the only way to go!
I ended up taking the rest of the day off as well. I allowed Sera to have a ride on the devil horse, and after a bit of work, I set up a scrying mirror so she could talk with my mother and father, whom she claims she misses. I miss them, too, but still, I'm rather glad to be out from under their control. My father just never sees reason. Fortunately, when I got around to talking with them, they didn't ask too many questions that I would have had a hard time answering. They seemed genuinely glad that I was enjoying being at the school, but managed to hint that I was free to return home at any time I wished. They certainly are hopeful.
Because I did not really interact with anyone besides Sera that day, I had no idea just the sort of rumors that had spread through the ranks of both students and teachers alike, like some sort of virulent plague. But I did not have to wait much longer to find out.
The next day,
class went well, except that every time
I turned my back for more than a minute, I heard the kids whispering
something. I passed by Kalanas on the
way to lunch, and the dark elf glared at me!
He actually looked angry! No
matter how rude I'd been to him in the past, he never responded…and our truce
has been going fine, so I wasn't certain exactly what his problem was.
At lunch, I finally found out just what was going on. Tully and Magnar had managed to contain themselves all day, but Bran had no such compunctions, and the first thing he said as he sat down was,
"So Nightstar, is it true what everyone's saying? Are you really the father of the headmistress' oldest boy?"
"What?!" I nearly choked on my lunch. The northman raised an eyebrow, with a smirk on his face.
"Well, it's what everyone's talking about…about how you and Lady Sunstar had some lover's row over the kid last night. Half the servants in the house heard the yelling. Word got around quickly. So…is it true?" No wonder Kalanas had glared at me, I thought, my mouth probably hanging open as I gave Bran a dumbfounded look. The dark elf and my cousin are supposed to be lovers. I don't imagine that he liked hearing the interesting version of what had happened very much.
"You don't honestly believe that, do you?" I asked, incredulously. Judging by the looks I got from Magnar, Tully, Bran, and Rogan, they did.
"Well, think about. You showed up from Evermeet. She's from Evermeet. She gave you a job, even though you didn't know hardly anything about teaching. The kid's always following you around, like you're some sort of demi-god," Bran ticked off the points on his stubby fingers, with the others nodding assent.
"And to be his father I would have to have sired him when I was in my sixties…while I was trapped on Ruathym! No…technically, I would have had to sire him back before Liralyn fell under the curse, which was something like 300 years before I was even born, you idiots!" I exclaimed.
"Curse?" Tully asked. I groaned. It ended up being a longer story than I'd thought.
"Wow," Bran muttered appreciatively at the end of the shortened version of the story I had told to them, which included the curse, my childhood on Evermeet and Ruathym, my adventuring days, and such.
"And I thought we had some stories up in the North! You elves are definitely something else," he commented.
"Aah...I heard better in Sundabar," Magnar grumbled, but for all that I noticed he'd been listening just as intently as the others.
"So that's how you learned the whole battle-rage thing," was Rogan's addition to the conversation.
"Okay…so you're not the kid's father. Why is it, then, that you're here. And don't give us any tripe about being a teacher," Bran waved his hand about. "Your temper is worse than a dwarf's…" Magnar shot a dirty look at Bran. The blond haired northman ignored him.
"…hells, you've got a temper worse than mine! You don't really deal well with most kids, and you may be good at what you teach, but a teacher was definitely not your ideal calling," Bran finished.
"Let us just say that an important person on Evermeet gave me the task of keeping the boy safe," I replied. I'm not certain how much anyone really knows about why I am here, but thought it prudent not to give away too many secrets in one day. After all, it was hard enough trusting them with as much of my history as I did.
"Was it the boy's father?" Tully wanted to know. I shook my head.
"No. Zelairwyn's father is…dead. Otherwise, there wouldn't have been a reason for me to come here," I explained.
"So why's he so important that you have to take care of him…or rather, what did you do to end up here?" Rogan asked. I shrugged, and answered the second part of the question, rather than the first.
"Well, back on Evermeet my…reputation is not the greatest," I told them. They exchanged knowing glances, and Bran gave me a fraternal sort of thump on the back.
"Bit of a trouble-maker, eh?" I shrugged.
"Some would say so."
"Well good, then. At least you admit it, unlike others I know," Bran shot a look at Magnar, who grumbled something unintelligible and undoubtedly foul under his breath, in dwarven.
"See lads? I told you not to believe every rumor you hear!" Bran stated to the others, excluding himself from the statement, earning him incredulous glares.
"Still, you think it's true what they say about…" Before Bran could finish the statement, Rogan promptly stuck an apple in the northman's mouth, effectively silencing the loudmouth of the group.
Now, I was on my way back to the house later that evening, trying to work out how I was going to fix things between Zelairwyn, Liralyn and myself without making it worse, when I caught a glimpse of motion behind me. I turned, looking over my shoulder. There was nothing there. Upon turning back to continue my course, however, I discovered that my path was now blocked by one unhappy looking dark elven wizard. I couldn't see his hands, as they were hidden beneath the cuffs of his sleeves, but judging by the set of his shoulders, and his defensive stance, I would wager they were either clenched, or contained spell components…hopefully not guano or something. The last thing I wanted to have to do was dodge a fireball at this time of night.
" Do you love her?" he asked me, eyes narrowed as he looked up at me through a tangled shock of white hair. Strange that his hair was a mess, for I've noticed that Kalanas always seems so neat…everything in order, as it were.
"Do you?" I replied with a question of my own. He did. He didn't say anything, though. He didn't have to. I'm not so much of a fool that I don't recognize the sight of someone in love. After all, I'd always had my parents…both sets of them to show me what it looked like.
"Are you Zelairwyn's father?" he asked rather than answer.
"Would it matter to you if I was?" I was taunting him a bit…I knew it. I practically couldn't help it.
"Damn it! Just answer me!" Kalanas hissed, sounding frustrated.
"Look, Dakarios...if you love Liralyn and she loves you, you shouldn't have to ask of any of this," I finally said.
"I just wanted to know if you're her newest attempt," he sounded resigned…sad, really. Even if he is a dark elf, I felt a bit bad for him.
"What do you mean?"
"Never mind, Nightstar. I was wrong to have said anything," he started to walk away, back towards the school. So maybe a felt a little bad. I wasn't exactly certain what the relationship was between the dark elf and my cousin, besides the fact that they'd had a child together…but I knew it couldn't be great, or else where would all of her other kids have come from.
"Hey Kalanas," I called back to him. "I didn't sleep with her, and I'm not Zelairwyn's father. I'm just someone who came here to help them, whether they like it or not," I told him. I heard him pause for a moment, and then continue walking. I know he must have heard me, and I can only hope that he believed my words. Otherwise, I'm sure his rabidly protective brother will show up at my room tomorrow, looking to tear my head off. And considering all my work towards apologizing, mending bridges, and keeping truces, I don't imagine that my beating the daylights out of Kellenes would help much, now would it?
It would be another two days before I even managed to see Liralyn, or Zelairwyn. I hadn't really been looking very hard for them, though, seeing as I was really looking forward to apologizing, when I had only tried to help.
Liralyn proved to be the easiest, though, for it was she who finally found me. She waited until just after classes had finished for the evening, and I was on my way back to the house. Sera was not with me, for she had decided she wanted to stay and eat dinner at the school with her friends. She told me that she and her dwarf friend, Rina, were working on a project for Rosealliele. When I asked if they wanted help, both girls immediately said no, claiming that they had to do it all by themselves. They promptly headed off towards the dining hall, giggling about something…one silvery blue head next to a dark auburn head.
I watched them for a moment as they departed, marveling at the sight. I find it odd that despite everything I've ever read or heard about elves and dwarves being the worst sort of foes since coming here, I've learned that, more often than not, they seem to make the best sort of friends. Despite the widely varying differences in opinions both races share, they seem to get along with each other as well as, if not better then any other race. I think it might be because out of all the other races, we two are the longest lived. Maybe that alone is reason enough for the strange love-hate relationship the dwarven and elven races seem to share.
And watching Sera and Rina, whom Sera claims is her very best friend…I was struck even further by the irony of a friendship between a dwarf and a dragon. Yet, I thought that such a friendship would make even more sense, for both dragons and dwarves are…appreciative of treasures and the like. Both like to keep "hoards." And Sera's hoard, I might add, is quickly reaching the point that it will surpass her birth mother's.
Seeing as the previous two days had been fairly quiet, I was rather relaxed as I headed back. I did not expect to be stopped on the path…although perhaps I should have expected it, for things always seem to happen when I expect they won't…if you catch my meaning.
Liralyn was very quiet as she moved into step beside me. I glanced down at her, only a little startled, and promptly resigned myself to either a lecture, or a yelling.
"Raising children…it's never easy, you know," she stated, not looking up at me. I was well aware of that fact, but felt that she hadn't really been asking because she wanted an answer.
"I wasn't very old when I had Zelairwyn. And when I did, I was alone. No one I knew or loved was left for me to ask questions of. I have had to do it all alone, learning as I go along," she continued.
"I made the biggest mistake the very night he was born. I knew it was a mistake, but I did it anyhow. I felt that the end would justify the means. But now…I don't know if I was right. You know the biggest problem I have with you, Keledrial?" she asked, glancing up at me for the briefest moment…just long enough for me to catch the solemn expression on her face.
"You make me question my judgment. No one…expect for maybe Mallorn does that. My adventuring friends just accepted things. If they had questions, they didn't ask. Even Mallorn doesn't press too far. He's afraid that I'll abandon him if he does, you see. He thinks that one day I'll wake up and decide that I am wasting my time with him. He thinks less of himself because of the circumstances surrounding his birth. But you…you say whatever you think…you never seem to wonder the effects of what you say before you open your mouth."
"I'm sorr…" I began to apologize, but she held her hand up.
"No. Don't apologize. You were right. I have made a lot of mistakes…and this one with Zelairwyn…it might perhaps be my worst. I treated him differently from his other siblings. I thought I was keeping him safe. I love all of my children, you know, but Zelairwyn is…special. He's all I have from my life before the curse. But for as much as I love him, I have forced him to grow up amidst ignorance…and lies. Such a terrible lie. Now that it has gone on for so long, though, I can't think of anyway to make it right. I know if I tell him the truth…all of the truth, that he will hate me for it. You kept saying I should just tell him, though…as though it were so simple. Just tell him. But I am so afraid to tell him anything…because I fear losing him. And in my frustration, I turned my anger on you. You, my cousin, are not to blame, so please don't apologize. If nothing else, your voice, on this subject, is more like the embodiment of my conscience, which I have ignored for far too long. I hear it now. I still don't know what to though." She fell silent, leaving me free to think on what she had said. My voice, the embodiment of someone's conscience? Liralyn must have more problems than I could have imagined if she was thinking such a bizarre thought!
"At the risk of repeating myself, why don't you just tell him the truth? The longer you wait, the harder it'll get," I told her, knowing from experience than anything kept inside for too long begins to fester. She shook her head.
"Could you forgive such a lie? I think you know, or at least suspect what I'm speaking of. I've heard the sort of things you were researching in the libraries, you know."
"Cousin…what are you saying?" I asked, my suspicions growing.
"Only I can remove the medallion. Only me. That was the way I enchanted it. No enemy or friend…no one, not even Zelairwyn, so that the secret would be safe forever," she whispered. "But you guessed right. It is only a spell that hides the truth. Zelairwyn told me the truth…he's known about his father ever since he pried into your journal. Now I must tell you the truth…I did the same."
"What?" I asked.
"I pried. I wanted to see what else you had written. I wanted to know a secret of yours so that I would have something you wanted hidden…to keep you silent."
"Blackmail," I stated dully. "You wanted to blackmail me." She nodded, looking ashamed.
"I did, but I read your guess…the things you'd surmised from the nature of the spells I put on the medallion. You guessed the truth when no one else ever suspected."
"The Queen did," I muttered aloud, hardly thinking what I was saying. Yet, even as I said it, even as I felt the burn of betrayal, knowing that once more someone had pried into my private life, I knew my words were true. The Queen had known. There could be no other reason for my being sent here. And why not? My skills as a warrior are not the greatest, nor have I excelled in magic as fully as I should have. But of all that I have learned, there is one thing that I can do, that others cannot: I can rage. I can rage and feel no pain, never dropping until my quarry or I fall. In a rage, poison does not affect me nor do spells that influence the mind. In a rage I cannot feel my wounds. What better warrior to protect a child who might someday be a king? And who better than an unhappy, troublesome noble who would do anything to redeem himself to his queen to accept such a task? After all, guarding Zelairwyn is safe enough so long as no one knows what he is. But the minute that secret comes out into the open it becomes an entirely different game of kholiast.
And by my own pushing, and a promise to help a boy nearly as angry and frustrated as I have been, I may have just done the very thing that would jeopardize Zelairwyn the most.
" She knows," Liralyn sighed. "I guessed that she might, but I thought I was so clever. So careful in hiding it. But you found out…you out of everyone else. So tell me Keledrial, you who are nearly as much a human as you are an elf…you who are so smart that you figured it all out…who knows what it's like to be one thing and then forced to be another…what happens if I tell my son that his own face is a lie? Will he still love me after I've told him that he is no gold elf, but truly his father son? Or will he hate me when I remove the amulet, and show him that he, as you once were, is a moon elf in disguise?" Her voice ended on a high note. She was on the border of breaking.
And now I knew…for certain. Part of me wished that information gone, to forget this whole affair. I wanted to walk away. I wanted to leave all of this mess behind in that moment, yet knowing I could not. It could be so easy to tell her to keep the lie. Let Zelairwyn stay ignorant. Conversely I could tell her a lie, saying that it wouldn't matter. Tell him or no, and let the consequences be damned. They were such distant family to me, they could hardly qualify, I told myself. This was none of my affair, I wanted to protest.
I did none of those things though, for it was my affair, as I'd told her so long ago. I'd made it so, and now had to face the consequences. I breathed in deep, feeling my chest stretch with the volume of breath. I released it all again slowly.
"I would not hate you, if it were me. I never hated them…not my foster parents…not my real parents, no matter what words came from my mouth. I was angry at them. I was in a rage when I thought my elven parents had abandoned me. I was furious when my human parents kept truths from me that might have gotten me home that much quicker. But I cannot hate them, for they all did the best they could do to keep me safe and keep me alive. You'd know all of this, though if you read my journal," I couldn't resist the small jab…a small price to pay, seeing as it was she who'd invaded my thoughts.
"But though I did not hate them, it took time for my anger to fade…some of it still has not. But if you do not tell him, then you must face that he will learn someday. Trueseeing may not be a common spell, but there are enough wizards out there who can cast it. And that spell will reveal the truth," I finished.
She sighed.
"I have made a terrible mess of things," she stated. I gave a laugh.
" As do I...all the time. One gets used to it, you know."
"I do not even know where I would begin."
"If raising Sera has taught me one thing, it would be that you cannot plan any thing."
"I am truly sorry for forcing you into the middle of this, Keledrial," Liralyn told me with a sigh. I shrugged.
"Look, 9 times out of ten, it is only myself I have to blame for my problems. If I hadn't wanted to b involved, I wouldn't have bothered. I like Zelairwyn. He's a good kid, and he reminds me a lot of myself. Truth is, when it comes down to it, I am not all that much older than he is. I wanted to help him. I do not know if I have managed to do so, or not, but I certainly did try," I explained to her.
"Actually, I was on my way to apologize to you when you beat me to it. I suppose we could just call things even and leave it at that…on the condition that you keep your nose out of my journal from now on," I added. I swear, as soon as I'm through writing this, I'm going to lock this book up somewhere. I wonder who else has had a "peek" at my writings?
"Fair enough," Liralyn agreed with a nod. "And…thank you for listening. I am still not certain what I will do, though, thus I ask you keep my secret awhile longer."
"Very well, then," I replied. "Oh, and will you tell that miserable drow that I am not your lover? The last thing I need at this point is more trouble with him." My cousin blushed, and nodded.
"I will tell him," she stated. I gathered that she must have heard the rumors as well.
I finally managed to make it back to the house, without further incident.
The next morning, Zelairwyn showed up at the tilting yard for practice. At first he was acting as though nothing was unusual, but I could tell by the ferocity of his attacks that he was still very angry. I let him continue on for a while, until his attacks began to grow wilder and wilder. He left himself open time and again, and each time I took the opportunity to show him the error in this. I imagine by the time he finally hurled his sword to the ground and ran at me to attack me with his fists, that he was probably covered with bruises.
Unlike the last time he has so lost his temper, I did not allow him the luxury of pummeling at me, but grabbed him by the wrists and lifted him several inches off the ground, while he raged at me, cursing and spewing obscenities in multiple languages. Some of the curses were quite clever. I shall have to try to remember them.
He struggled ineffectively to escape, but finally seemed to give up.
"Are you through with your tantrum?" I asked him after a period of silence had passed. After another long moment, he drew a deep breath, and nodded. I lowered him back down to his feet gladly, for my arms were beginning to get a bit tired from holding him up at such and awkward angle for so long.
He rubbed at his wrists, not looking at me, as I crossed my arms, waiting. Zelairwyn did not disappoint.
"She told me," he stated dully, with the weary, apathetic tone of one who had just suffered some great emotional trauma is still have trouble taking it in and accepting it. It was how I felt, how I imagined I must have sounded when I realized that my parents had been alive, and thought they'd abandoned me.
"About what?" I prompted him when he did not elaborate.
"The truth. About the medallion," Good for her, I thought silently. I guess my cousin had decided to get it over with before she lost her will to do so.
"And?" I prompted again.
"You already know. She told me you know. How could she do this to me? How could she lie about such a thing?" his voice was barely above a whisper.
"I imagine she did it because she loves you," I said. He shook his head violently.
"No. No! If you love someone you don't lie to them!" He protested, vehemently.
"If you love someone, you will do anything to protect them from harm," I countered.
"That's easy for you to say," he sneered. "You never…"
"All right, Zelairwyn," I interrupted. "You're spoiling for a fight. I'm not going to give you one. I can understand what you're feeling…but I also sympathize with your mother. Picking a fight with me is not going to make anything better. If anything, it'll make it worse, seeing as I am still your guardian and I'm not going anywhere. You make the choice: let this rule your life, or accept it and move on with your life. Your choice. I'm not the best person to be giving advice, I know. But if you believe me in nothing else, than believe this: I know what it's like to not truly know who or what you are. I've spent a long time letting that confusion rule me. Not any more. I'm Keledrial Nightstar. I am your guardian, a teacher, and the father of a silver dragon. That is what is important to me. What's important to you?" I asked him. I wasn't about to wait for an answer, as the question was meant to be something for him to think about.
I left him there to think, but I made certain that I had Sanhandrian tailing him. My familiar would let me know if the boy decided to try something stupid, like running off. After all, I wanted to give him time to work things, but I was not about to let an heir of Evermeet get himself into a situation that could potentially be dangerous.
Things began to settle down and return to normal fairly quickly…although perhaps normal is not the best word for it. After all, Everall and its inhabitants, as a whole, are about as far from "normal" as one could imagine.
Still, it was almost nerve-wracking that nothing terrible seemed to on the verge of happening. It was like waiting for the axe to fall. You are certain that it is there, lurking somewhere above you, only you simply don't know when it will fall. I vow, my life has become much the same. I think that I have grown more accustomed to disasters, and thus am having a hard time relaxing. Strange, is it not?
Then there is Rosealliele. The politeness is all but killing me, I
swear it. She has come to visit after
classes for dinner and what not several times since the last uproar had
occurred, and everything was going well.
I find Rose, as she has asked that
I call her, refreshing. She doesn't
simper, or annoy me the way many women do, and she has an insight about her
that puts me in mind of Lita.
True to her words, she has started over, leaving behind the animosity she had towards me, and has been nothing but friendly…and that is precisely the problem, damn it. Friendly is all she has been!
My desire for her has not abated in the slightest. If anything it has gotten worse with her frequent visits to Liralyn's house to see either Sera or myself. I still cannot fathom why it is I have developed such a fascination with her, as she is not overly extraordinary. Her black hair is nothing special, nor are her violet eyes unusual among the people. I am convinced it must be the length of time it has been since I was last with a woman.
Further, I would swear that she has some…attraction for myself, as well…evidenced by the way I will catch her glancing in my direction when she thinks no one is watching. A classic tactic if I have ever seen one. But she does not respond to any of the usual ploys that have worked in the past. She is merely…friendly. It is hideously annoying, I must add.
And it does not help that Sera has been all but singing Rose's praises. If my daughter is yammering on about Zelairwyn, whom she is still enamored of, then every other sentence falling from her lips has to do with the lovely lady Silverspear. All I want to do is bed the woman, for Corellon's sake, not wed her!
And to make matters just a little more frustrating, I have seen Rosealliele speaking with the oh so irritating Kellenes on no less than three occasions. I will never live it down if he manages to seduce her before I do! I just may have to try something drastic.
It won't be long now…of that I am certain. Already my reverie is filled with images of the fair Rose. I cannot seem to drive her from my thoughts…and after the kiss I shared with her this evening, I can hardly think that I should want to.
Dinner had been planned for several nights now, but at the last minute, Sera told me that she and Rina had to work on something down at the library. She left just as Rose arrived, apologizing profusely.
Rose took it well, for though I've had a glimpse of her temper, she seems mostly fair-natured. We ate the meal that Liralyn's cooks had prepared, speaking quietly, mostly about Evermeet, and a bit of my travels. Everall is the furthest from Evermeet that Rose has ever been. In her youth she studied a great deal about foreign lands, and confided that she had always wished to travel.
We were sitting comfortably, talking. I must confess, I was relaxed. I do not think I have ever been so in the company of a woman not of my own blood.
It seemed the natural thing to do, to lean close to her and kiss her. I didn't even really plan it. It just happened. One moment we were talking, and the next I was tasting the wine she had been sipping, as I explored her mouth with my own.
When I realized what I was doing, I think I expected to be slapped. I expected her to tell me to stop at the very least. But that is not what she did.
The lovely Rosealliele, the same etriel who had been so angry that I had "seduced" her cousin, closed her eyes, as she slipped her fingers into my hair and began to return the kiss!
I was surprised to say the least. Still, I was not so surprised that I stopped.
It was a while before we stopped…long enough that I knew her lips and would recognize the taste and texture of them even if I was blinded. She drew back first, slowly, as though she was uncertain of something.
I looked at her, studying her face, her expression somewhat dazed. She seemed to be thinking about something, and thinking on it hard. I certainly did not have to think to know that I wanted more, but as I leaned forward once more, she put a hand up to ward me off, shaking her head slowly.
"I cannot," she whispered to me, her voice a touch breathless. I swear if had not the control I do, just the sound of her might have driven me over the edge.
"Why not?" I wanted to know. "You liked it," I pointed out. She nodded.
"I did. But I…had no right to do so," she stated.
"Then why…"I began to ask, wanting to know what she meant by that statement. But she interrupted.
"Because I wanted to. I wanted to kiss you…but that does not mean I have a right to." I waited for her to elaborate, but she did not. Abruptly, she stood up.
"Dinner was lovely, but I must leave," she told me. I rose quickly.
"You don't have to leave," I protested, standing as well. I reached for her hand, feeling the smooth skin under my fingertips for a moment before she pulled away.
"Yes…yes I do," she said. It almost sounded like she was trying to convince herself. Before I had a chance to say more, she swept towards the door, an odd nervousness to her steps…a jerking of limbs that were usually graceful in their motion.
I was not about to force her to stay, though I wanted to. I opened the door for her studying her to see if I could discern whence her sudden apprehension had sprung from. I caught her eyes for a second as she moved to leave, saw a glassiness to the violet hue that bespoke of tears. Then in a flurry of motion, she was up on her toes, her hand on the back of my neck, pulling me head down for another kiss…this one more frantic than the languid one we had shared moments before.
Before I had any chance to respond further, she was gone in a whirl of skirts and hair, down the corridor, leaving me standing at the door.
I closed the door, feeling a bit smug. She had kissed me. Thus meaning that she felt something for me as well. There was something nagging at her conscience, though, of that there was no doubt. I'm fairly certain that it has something to do with her cousin…perhaps a feeling of disloyalty or something…who knows how women think? That might explain the jealous expression she had when we talked about my seduction of her cousin.
I'm not worried however. I'm sure I can manage to get her over the feeling. After all she's not really being disloyal, seeing as I can hardly remember her cousin's name, let alone the lone night I spent with the woman. It shouldn't be too hard. I'll have Rose in my bed by the end of the week!