A/N: Hey! What's up everyone? What happened to all my reviews? :.sniffs.: I
miss them! Please people, if you're reading this: review me please! I need
your input! I need to know what I'm doing right, and wrong!
Anyways, great to see you back for another chapter! The last one got a little gruesome, I apologize if you didn't like it! It's getting just a little dark, huh? I suppose I should brighten it up a little, it being a humor fic and all. :.sighs.: I really have a hard time not writing dark stories. It's like the air I breathe, I suppose.
Are my characters getting out of character? It seems to me they might be. Please, if it seems that way to you, remember, this is after a HUGE war, and these things can scar you for life. That could have something to do with it. Or it could be my own incompetence. Either way.
Does it seem to you like I'm focusing a lot on Draco? Because I think I am. Well, no longer! This chapter is about Harry!
Updates are getting more regular! Yay! Question: Does anyone know how to use italics or bold when posting their story on fanfiction? Because it won't work for me. How does this always get so long??? Story-time is now!
Disclaimer: Are you daft?! You've come this far and you still don't know I don't own J. K. Rowling's wonderful creation?! My God! Get away from me! On a happier note: I OWN EVERYTHING ELSE! Steal it and suffer the consequences! :.laughs evilly.:
WARNING: This story is bound to get increasingly darker, slashier, and my grammar will likely get worse! So, if none of that bothers you, by all means, :.steps aside and motions to a door.: enter my world!
~blah blah blah~ is a flashback or a dream
This chapter is dedicated to: Brenna8! :.grins.: Thank you for explaining a Mary Sue to me! I feel so much smarter now! You know, I think you may be the only reader I haven't frightened away yet. Odd.
Well, onto the story!
Chapter 7: ??? (I have no clue about a chapter title.)
~ "Harry? Is something the matter? Do you want to talk about it?" Remus asked, placing a hand on Harry's shoulder. Harry wiped his tears away, leaving a trail of blood on his face. He tightened his grip on the knife, refusing his impulse to turn around. He sighed, leaning on the balcony railing.
"Harry, that railing is weak, don't lean on it, you'll fall!" Remus admonished, a tinge of fear coloring his voice.
Harry laughed. "So what if I fall? What would you care? What would anyone care?" he asked, finally brushing Remus's hand away and turning to face him.
Remus's faint smile vanished. "Harry?" he whispered, staring at the bloody knife Harry clutched in one hand. His gaze traveled over Harry's bloodied clothes and hands. He noted the blood on his face, and the trail of blood on the balcony. "Harry are you alright?" he asked in concern.
"Would you look at that. I'm crying. But I'm not sad, in fact, I'm quite happy." Harry whispered, sounding detached. Dropping the bloody knife, he brushed a hand over his face again, leaving a trail of crimson where his hand passed.
Remus stepped closer, reaching a hand out, then dropping it. "Harry, please, come away from there. You don't want to fall do you?" he asked, sounding shaken.
Harry stepped back, closer to the balcony railing. He looked down at the blood that covered his front. "Remus, I'm bleeding." Harry said, sounding childish. He turned, gripping the railing with his hands.
"Harry, you don't want to do this. Please, it's alright Harry, no one blames you. It wasn't your fault! You can't save everyone!" Remus pleaded, placing his arm around the boy.
Harry pulled away, shaking his head. He turned to look at Remus, fury crossing his face. "You're wrong Remus! I could have saved them! You don't understand! No one does! It's just too hard! They don't know what they're asking of me." Harry singsonged, his emerald eyes flashing, and his hands trembling.
Remus looked deeply troubled. "Harry, let me help you. Come inside and lets get you cleaned up. We can talk inside, alright?" he asked in a patronizing voice. Harry turned his back on Remus.
"You never understood. No one understands. No one will ever understand. Don't be angry Remus, I don't want to hurt you. I'm sorry Remus!" Harry whispered as he pulled a knife out of his robes.
Remus, confused, took another step towards Harry. "Don't be angry about what? I would never be angry wi---" he cut off with a scream of shock, staring at the hilt of the knife in his chest. He grasped at the knife, fading in and out of consciousness. He began to scream louder as he fell to his knees, clutching at Harry's robes to keep himself up. "Wh-why Harry?" he whispered as he fell.
Harry wiped away his tears, placing a bloody hand on Remus's cheek. He pulled out the knife and raised it again. "I'm sorry Remus, I never wanted to hurt you. They didn't understand. Do you understand Remus? Why did you betray us Remus? Don't hate me, please don't hate me. You're going to see Mum and Dad and Sirius again!" he whispered, gazing into Remus's amber eyes, so full of pain.
Remus appeared to relax as realization sunk in. Then Harry stabbed him again, trying not to cry. Remus sunk to his knees, staring at Harry accusingly. He opened and closed his mouth in a desperate last attempt to cry out.
Harry looked away, hot tears blurring his vision. He tried not to see Remus's pleading eyes, tried not to see the blood.
He felt Remus's hot blood flow over his fingers as he withdrew the knife and plunged it deeper into Remus's chest. He closed his ears to the screams and moans of pain.
Harry stabbed him again, unable to see through his tears, then again. He stabbed him until he heard no more from Remus's mouth. Then he sat down heavily in the bloody mess upon the wood floor of the balcony. He withdrew the knife a final time and dropped it to the floor, listening to the dull clatter it made when it hit the floor. He pulled Remus's warm body to him, closing his eyes and sobbing uncontrollably as he threaded his bloody fingers through Remus's silken strands of hair.
He pushed the body away from him, heaving a heavy sigh and standing. He bent to pick up the knife, hot tears still coursing down his face.
For a moment, he stood completely still, seeing the world around him in a different light, and knowing there was nothing left for him here. He walked slowly towards the balcony railing and leaned over the edge. He stared down at the ground for a few moments, watching a few droplets of blood fall to the ground.
Then, he pulled himself back over the edge, disappointed by the lack of distance to the ground. He positioned the knife over his own chest, and sat down. He glanced around the balcony again, then closed his eyes and applied enough pressure to draw blood, before the knife was ripped away from his grasp and thrown to the ground.
Harry, startled, opened his eyes and looked up. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING HARRY JAMES POTTER?!"~
Harry opened his eyes with a scream. He sat up and looked around, breathing heavily. He sat in silence for a moment, just steadying his breathing.
The door slammed open, and a two men ran in. One with black hair, and one with brown. "Harry? Are you alright?" the one with black hair asked, his amber eyes alight with concern. The brown haired one strode over to sit beside him. "Harry? Please answer us, we want to help you." He said kindly.
"That's what R-Remus said. Right before---" Harry cut off, unable to finish his sentence. "Sesaru, shall I leave you two alone?" the other man asked.
Harry looked up. "No, Rin, stay, please. You don't have to go. I'd like to, erm, talk. That is, if you don't mind." He finished quickly. Rin nodded hesitantly, closing the door and walking over to sit by Sesaru. "Well, go on then Harry. What would you like to talk about?" he asked, laying a hand on Harry's wrist.
"Well, Remus, actually. I---" Harry began, unsure of what to say. Sesaru smiled. "You miss him, right? I know it must have been hard for you. I can't believe they chose you for the job. How inconsiderate." He hissed angrily.
"Sesaru, calm down. Harry, you know, it is alright to cry. Have you cried about it yet?" Rin asked, looking sad himself. "I know how you looked up to him. He was always so kind to everyone." He continued, pausing to look at Harry.
Harry smiled and nodded, ignoring the tears running down his face. "Yeah. I-I did cry. A few times. I just wish it hadn't been him. First Sirius, then Remus. I've got no one left. No one. I-I wish it had been me instead." He whispered.
Rin and Sesaru looked at each other, and Rin nodded, getting up to leave. "Harry, everyone here cares about you very much, there is no reason to---" Rin began, walking towards the door.
"Yeah, they care about me because I'm Harry Potter. Not because of who I really am. I am their savior, and that's all. I wish that Draco hadn't---" he cut off, blushing. Sesaru hugged Harry. "Oh Harry, don't think like that. You've got me and Rin. You can tell us anything, we'll always be here for you, I promise. Please stick around, we would miss you if you left us!" Sesaru told him, pushing Harry back so he could look at him.
Harry nodded, wiping his tears away again. "Thank you Sesaru. I'm fine now, really." He claimed, trying to pull out of Sesaru's grip. Sesaru let go, getting up. "Get some sleep Harry, tomorrow will be a long day for you. There's another meeting. Give us a holler if you need something." He whispered in Harry's ear, gently pushing him back into the bed.
"Alright. Good night Sesaru, Rin. I'll see you tomorrow then." He said sleepily.
Rin and Sesaru left quietly, leaving Harry alone to his thoughts again. Harry closed his eyes and curled up into a ball, trying to erase all thoughts of Remus.
He was asleep mere moments later.
~ Harry sat by the tree silently, gazing at the tombstone. He furiously brushed away the few stubborn tears that kept coming back, not wanting to cry for him.
He sat, lost in his memories, tears running freely down his face, as dusk fell. He did not hear the people calling for him, did not hear the frantic sounds of searching, and did not hear the footsteps behind him.
When at last he realized something was happening, Remus spoke. "Harry? Is that you? Harry, what are you doing out here so late? And without a coat no less. You're going to freeze to death!" he scolded, pretending not to notice the tears running down Harry's face.
Harry stared at Remus blankly, wondering why he had come out to find him. After a moment, he turned back to the tombstone, running his fingers lovingly over the inscription:
'Sirius Black - caring godfather, and the best friend anyone could ask for, gone but forever in our hearts'
It was silent for a few moments, and Remus sat down. Harry looked over at him after a few moments. "Why did it have to be him?" he whispered sadly. Remus glanced at the tombstone.
"It wasn't just him Harry. I know you don't want to hear this, but fatalities are a part of war. It could have been anyone, but it was him. I miss him too, but I know that he went out fighting for what he believed in. He never wanted to die a normal death. He always said that he would go out with a bang. And, he, he did." Remus whispered, wiping a tear from his eye and standing up. Harry did likewise.
"But Remus. Why? Why him?" he asked tearfully, wiping firmly at the tears that wouldn't go away. Remus walked over and wrapped his arms around Harry. "I really don't know Harry. I guess it was just his time." He whispered soothingly. "Harry, it won't kill you to cry. You don't have to keep it all inside. Let it out." he whispered, pulling Harry's arm away from his face.
Harry made no attempt to hide his tears, or his pain. He grabbed Remus's jacket in his hands, and began to cry, clinging pitifully to him.
Remus let him cry. It was an hour before Harry stopped, and he had stood there, holding him while he cried, the entire time. ~
A/N: Chapter ends here before I start crying so hard I can't see the keys. :.sniffles and wipes tears away.: That was so hard to write. I didn't want to kill Remus. But now it's over with. So, perhaps next chapter will be more upbeat! Catch you next chapter, please come back! And hey, as you're leaving, if you wouldn't mind clicking that little button at the bottom of the screen? You know the one I'm talking about. Take some time, tell me what you liked, what you hated, and how I can improve the story. Don't be afraid to tell me exactly what you think, alright? Great!
Anyways, great to see you back for another chapter! The last one got a little gruesome, I apologize if you didn't like it! It's getting just a little dark, huh? I suppose I should brighten it up a little, it being a humor fic and all. :.sighs.: I really have a hard time not writing dark stories. It's like the air I breathe, I suppose.
Are my characters getting out of character? It seems to me they might be. Please, if it seems that way to you, remember, this is after a HUGE war, and these things can scar you for life. That could have something to do with it. Or it could be my own incompetence. Either way.
Does it seem to you like I'm focusing a lot on Draco? Because I think I am. Well, no longer! This chapter is about Harry!
Updates are getting more regular! Yay! Question: Does anyone know how to use italics or bold when posting their story on fanfiction? Because it won't work for me. How does this always get so long??? Story-time is now!
Disclaimer: Are you daft?! You've come this far and you still don't know I don't own J. K. Rowling's wonderful creation?! My God! Get away from me! On a happier note: I OWN EVERYTHING ELSE! Steal it and suffer the consequences! :.laughs evilly.:
WARNING: This story is bound to get increasingly darker, slashier, and my grammar will likely get worse! So, if none of that bothers you, by all means, :.steps aside and motions to a door.: enter my world!
~blah blah blah~ is a flashback or a dream
This chapter is dedicated to: Brenna8! :.grins.: Thank you for explaining a Mary Sue to me! I feel so much smarter now! You know, I think you may be the only reader I haven't frightened away yet. Odd.
Well, onto the story!
Chapter 7: ??? (I have no clue about a chapter title.)
~ "Harry? Is something the matter? Do you want to talk about it?" Remus asked, placing a hand on Harry's shoulder. Harry wiped his tears away, leaving a trail of blood on his face. He tightened his grip on the knife, refusing his impulse to turn around. He sighed, leaning on the balcony railing.
"Harry, that railing is weak, don't lean on it, you'll fall!" Remus admonished, a tinge of fear coloring his voice.
Harry laughed. "So what if I fall? What would you care? What would anyone care?" he asked, finally brushing Remus's hand away and turning to face him.
Remus's faint smile vanished. "Harry?" he whispered, staring at the bloody knife Harry clutched in one hand. His gaze traveled over Harry's bloodied clothes and hands. He noted the blood on his face, and the trail of blood on the balcony. "Harry are you alright?" he asked in concern.
"Would you look at that. I'm crying. But I'm not sad, in fact, I'm quite happy." Harry whispered, sounding detached. Dropping the bloody knife, he brushed a hand over his face again, leaving a trail of crimson where his hand passed.
Remus stepped closer, reaching a hand out, then dropping it. "Harry, please, come away from there. You don't want to fall do you?" he asked, sounding shaken.
Harry stepped back, closer to the balcony railing. He looked down at the blood that covered his front. "Remus, I'm bleeding." Harry said, sounding childish. He turned, gripping the railing with his hands.
"Harry, you don't want to do this. Please, it's alright Harry, no one blames you. It wasn't your fault! You can't save everyone!" Remus pleaded, placing his arm around the boy.
Harry pulled away, shaking his head. He turned to look at Remus, fury crossing his face. "You're wrong Remus! I could have saved them! You don't understand! No one does! It's just too hard! They don't know what they're asking of me." Harry singsonged, his emerald eyes flashing, and his hands trembling.
Remus looked deeply troubled. "Harry, let me help you. Come inside and lets get you cleaned up. We can talk inside, alright?" he asked in a patronizing voice. Harry turned his back on Remus.
"You never understood. No one understands. No one will ever understand. Don't be angry Remus, I don't want to hurt you. I'm sorry Remus!" Harry whispered as he pulled a knife out of his robes.
Remus, confused, took another step towards Harry. "Don't be angry about what? I would never be angry wi---" he cut off with a scream of shock, staring at the hilt of the knife in his chest. He grasped at the knife, fading in and out of consciousness. He began to scream louder as he fell to his knees, clutching at Harry's robes to keep himself up. "Wh-why Harry?" he whispered as he fell.
Harry wiped away his tears, placing a bloody hand on Remus's cheek. He pulled out the knife and raised it again. "I'm sorry Remus, I never wanted to hurt you. They didn't understand. Do you understand Remus? Why did you betray us Remus? Don't hate me, please don't hate me. You're going to see Mum and Dad and Sirius again!" he whispered, gazing into Remus's amber eyes, so full of pain.
Remus appeared to relax as realization sunk in. Then Harry stabbed him again, trying not to cry. Remus sunk to his knees, staring at Harry accusingly. He opened and closed his mouth in a desperate last attempt to cry out.
Harry looked away, hot tears blurring his vision. He tried not to see Remus's pleading eyes, tried not to see the blood.
He felt Remus's hot blood flow over his fingers as he withdrew the knife and plunged it deeper into Remus's chest. He closed his ears to the screams and moans of pain.
Harry stabbed him again, unable to see through his tears, then again. He stabbed him until he heard no more from Remus's mouth. Then he sat down heavily in the bloody mess upon the wood floor of the balcony. He withdrew the knife a final time and dropped it to the floor, listening to the dull clatter it made when it hit the floor. He pulled Remus's warm body to him, closing his eyes and sobbing uncontrollably as he threaded his bloody fingers through Remus's silken strands of hair.
He pushed the body away from him, heaving a heavy sigh and standing. He bent to pick up the knife, hot tears still coursing down his face.
For a moment, he stood completely still, seeing the world around him in a different light, and knowing there was nothing left for him here. He walked slowly towards the balcony railing and leaned over the edge. He stared down at the ground for a few moments, watching a few droplets of blood fall to the ground.
Then, he pulled himself back over the edge, disappointed by the lack of distance to the ground. He positioned the knife over his own chest, and sat down. He glanced around the balcony again, then closed his eyes and applied enough pressure to draw blood, before the knife was ripped away from his grasp and thrown to the ground.
Harry, startled, opened his eyes and looked up. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING HARRY JAMES POTTER?!"~
Harry opened his eyes with a scream. He sat up and looked around, breathing heavily. He sat in silence for a moment, just steadying his breathing.
The door slammed open, and a two men ran in. One with black hair, and one with brown. "Harry? Are you alright?" the one with black hair asked, his amber eyes alight with concern. The brown haired one strode over to sit beside him. "Harry? Please answer us, we want to help you." He said kindly.
"That's what R-Remus said. Right before---" Harry cut off, unable to finish his sentence. "Sesaru, shall I leave you two alone?" the other man asked.
Harry looked up. "No, Rin, stay, please. You don't have to go. I'd like to, erm, talk. That is, if you don't mind." He finished quickly. Rin nodded hesitantly, closing the door and walking over to sit by Sesaru. "Well, go on then Harry. What would you like to talk about?" he asked, laying a hand on Harry's wrist.
"Well, Remus, actually. I---" Harry began, unsure of what to say. Sesaru smiled. "You miss him, right? I know it must have been hard for you. I can't believe they chose you for the job. How inconsiderate." He hissed angrily.
"Sesaru, calm down. Harry, you know, it is alright to cry. Have you cried about it yet?" Rin asked, looking sad himself. "I know how you looked up to him. He was always so kind to everyone." He continued, pausing to look at Harry.
Harry smiled and nodded, ignoring the tears running down his face. "Yeah. I-I did cry. A few times. I just wish it hadn't been him. First Sirius, then Remus. I've got no one left. No one. I-I wish it had been me instead." He whispered.
Rin and Sesaru looked at each other, and Rin nodded, getting up to leave. "Harry, everyone here cares about you very much, there is no reason to---" Rin began, walking towards the door.
"Yeah, they care about me because I'm Harry Potter. Not because of who I really am. I am their savior, and that's all. I wish that Draco hadn't---" he cut off, blushing. Sesaru hugged Harry. "Oh Harry, don't think like that. You've got me and Rin. You can tell us anything, we'll always be here for you, I promise. Please stick around, we would miss you if you left us!" Sesaru told him, pushing Harry back so he could look at him.
Harry nodded, wiping his tears away again. "Thank you Sesaru. I'm fine now, really." He claimed, trying to pull out of Sesaru's grip. Sesaru let go, getting up. "Get some sleep Harry, tomorrow will be a long day for you. There's another meeting. Give us a holler if you need something." He whispered in Harry's ear, gently pushing him back into the bed.
"Alright. Good night Sesaru, Rin. I'll see you tomorrow then." He said sleepily.
Rin and Sesaru left quietly, leaving Harry alone to his thoughts again. Harry closed his eyes and curled up into a ball, trying to erase all thoughts of Remus.
He was asleep mere moments later.
~ Harry sat by the tree silently, gazing at the tombstone. He furiously brushed away the few stubborn tears that kept coming back, not wanting to cry for him.
He sat, lost in his memories, tears running freely down his face, as dusk fell. He did not hear the people calling for him, did not hear the frantic sounds of searching, and did not hear the footsteps behind him.
When at last he realized something was happening, Remus spoke. "Harry? Is that you? Harry, what are you doing out here so late? And without a coat no less. You're going to freeze to death!" he scolded, pretending not to notice the tears running down Harry's face.
Harry stared at Remus blankly, wondering why he had come out to find him. After a moment, he turned back to the tombstone, running his fingers lovingly over the inscription:
'Sirius Black - caring godfather, and the best friend anyone could ask for, gone but forever in our hearts'
It was silent for a few moments, and Remus sat down. Harry looked over at him after a few moments. "Why did it have to be him?" he whispered sadly. Remus glanced at the tombstone.
"It wasn't just him Harry. I know you don't want to hear this, but fatalities are a part of war. It could have been anyone, but it was him. I miss him too, but I know that he went out fighting for what he believed in. He never wanted to die a normal death. He always said that he would go out with a bang. And, he, he did." Remus whispered, wiping a tear from his eye and standing up. Harry did likewise.
"But Remus. Why? Why him?" he asked tearfully, wiping firmly at the tears that wouldn't go away. Remus walked over and wrapped his arms around Harry. "I really don't know Harry. I guess it was just his time." He whispered soothingly. "Harry, it won't kill you to cry. You don't have to keep it all inside. Let it out." he whispered, pulling Harry's arm away from his face.
Harry made no attempt to hide his tears, or his pain. He grabbed Remus's jacket in his hands, and began to cry, clinging pitifully to him.
Remus let him cry. It was an hour before Harry stopped, and he had stood there, holding him while he cried, the entire time. ~
A/N: Chapter ends here before I start crying so hard I can't see the keys. :.sniffles and wipes tears away.: That was so hard to write. I didn't want to kill Remus. But now it's over with. So, perhaps next chapter will be more upbeat! Catch you next chapter, please come back! And hey, as you're leaving, if you wouldn't mind clicking that little button at the bottom of the screen? You know the one I'm talking about. Take some time, tell me what you liked, what you hated, and how I can improve the story. Don't be afraid to tell me exactly what you think, alright? Great!