A/N: Well there, so much for a fast update, ne? Gomen nasai, minna. I'll proceed to account all that's kept me away from my computer this past week in a futile attempt to ask...ne, beg, for your forgiveness, but I'm afraid it'll only make me look worse. Let's see...the previous weekend I spent at a manga/anime/fantasy/science fiction convention. It was my first actually. I'd never before seen a cosplayer in real life. Interesting folk...I might go as Watari next time I go to one, cuz I sorta look like him, even tho I'm a girl. Can you go as a boy when you're a girl and cosplaying? Is cosplaying even a word? Anyway, since at this convention there were all this people dressed as elves and even a Gandalf the white, I asked mom to let me rent 'LOTR the fellowship' on monday, because -shame on me- I was the only one in my family who hadn't watched it. Writing became impossible, considering my free time was completely consumed watching that movie. Tuesday was out too, you see, because I wanted to see the two towers before I died of a Legolas withdraw. That Orlando Bloom *is* cute after all. The next two days I spent looking for a job, because I'm very close to become homeless unless I find one *cries* And on Friday I left to my mom's little farm for the weekend (wow, my mom owns land... that sounds like important or something, heh) She has two little sheep. They are like the cutest thing ever and they're expecting!!!
Anyway, that's what happened. And here's your update, at last. I hope you haven't lost interest in the story. *shimmering eyes*
Oh, in case anyone cares, Sakura crisis has the scanlations for the second chapter of book 5 of YNM. If you have it already, check Alchemist Watari and tell me he doesn't look super hot!
Enjoy!
A DEVIL'S THRILL
A low, happy humming filled the secretary's office. Tatsumi roamed around files and completed reports with a genuine smile on his face. He knew that he'd been the center of every rumour around the office that day. It wasn't even two p.m. and there were already several theories as to why the shadow master was so happy.
The most sceptical feared their salaries were about to get cut, hence the gleam of the shadow master's eyes. Some speculated that he might have cheated a few extra bucks from the accounters. The rest figured that Tsusuki hadn't destroyed anything for long enough and the budget had been enough to cover their expenses for once.
He'd heard them whispering as he passed through the halls, but Tatsumi couldn't care less. The sun was shining bright and leaking through the west windows of the building, cleaning the air and warming it.
In all honesty, the secretary wanted more than anything to leave all the files for another day and make an escape to the scientist apartment. But even in such a happy trance, Tatsumi knew he couldn't neglect his responsibilities so much. Watari, Hisoka and Tsusuki all had the day off. He couldn't really leave. But as the hours passed and the day got more and more pleasant, the temptation grew stronger and his resolve weaker.
He felt a sort of rush, a sense of freedom, when he pulled his suit coat off himself and tossed to a nearby chair. He rolled up his shirt sleeves and loosened his tie. He felt good.
Very, very good.
There were times during that day when a sense of dread would reach him. He'd start thinking about what Watari wanted from their relationship and unavoidably several, non-pleasant, scenarios would come to his mind. But all in all, the good feeling the scientist had left in him would always win in the end. The best part was that Watari was, first and foremost, his best friend. Whatever happened, Watari would never do anything to hurt him, and that was what gave him hope. That, and the way Watari had treated him that morning.
The only thing that could win over his good mood was how slow the afternoon was going. He just wanted to leave as soon as possible. He glanced at his watch for the nth time and sighed impatiently. How had work become something so tedious, he didn't know.
It was obvious by three thirty that he wasn't going to get anything done until his doubts were cleared and he'd talked to Watari. Maybe after he knew for certain if the happiness he was feeling would last through time or would simply be something temporary, he would be able to find joy in working again.
He grabbed his now crumpled coat, glanced at his watch one more time and poke his head out the door to make sure there would be no witnesses for his skipping work. He never got a chance to see anything though. His head bumped into something soft; something soft that yelped, as a very, *very* hot substance spilled all over his hair and clothes.
The sense of deja vu prevented him from cursing. It seemed that he always ended up with some sort of beverage spilled over him during the last few days.
"Gomen! Oh god, I'm so sorry Tatsumi!" came the voice from over the wet secretary's head.
The sound of said voice was enough for Tatsumi to forget the unpleasant feeling of having what smelled like very bad coffee dripping from his hair over his eyes and making his shirt stick to his body. He glanced at his attacker with a half smile.
"What in the world are you doing here?" he said amusedly.
"I...I..." the scientist smiled sheepishly. "Couldn't wait 'til five...I wanted to see you." Watari held the empty mugs up. "I made us coffee." he offered, as an attempt to apologize.
Tatsumi snorted.
"I can smell it..."
Now that the shock had passed, Tatsumi felt incredibly uncomfortable. He wasn't quite sure how he was supposed to greet Watari. Of course he knew how he *wanted* to greet him, but suddenly he wasn't sure the blonde would appreciate it. Apparently Watari had the same dilemma because he took a step forward towards the secretary, only to take it back a second later, stammering a little.
The awkward moment got only worse when neither of them said anything; they just stood there, not quite looking at each other, but very much aware of the other's presence. Tatsumi then remembered that morning and figured he might as well do what he felt like doing. The awkward moment would die and he'd know for certain where he stood with Watari. He took the scientist hand in his, making the blonde immediately meet his gaze with a hopeful look, and leaned forward to brush his lips with Watari's.
"I'm glad you're here." he said, mere inches away from the scientist face.
Watari smiled and kissed him again. And again, and again, until they stumbled back into the office, locking the door behind them.
----------------
It was way past noon when Tsusuki was able to open his eyes again. Thankfully, the sight that met him wasn't that of the infirmary. It was his own room, his own bed; but most important of all, his own pillow. He wondered if other people gave such an importance to pillows as himself. His pillow was *his*; it had the shape of *his* head marked on it and a smell no other pillow in the world of the living or the dead had.
He snuggled closer to said item, refusing to get up just yet, even though he'd spent a big part of the previous twenty four hours sleeping. And part of the time he'd been awake he'd also spent it in bed, a voice whispered inside his head. The memory wasn't a welcomed one and he wasn't willing to let it spoil the moment. He'd have to face the consequences of his actions sooner or later, and later sounded definitively like the better option.
He sensed a slight movement on the mattress behind him and Tsusuki froze; not so much in fear as in puzzlement. He went through the options in his head, trying to determine the size of the intruder with the back of his hand; he didn't dare turning around, fearing one of those Muraki nightmares. But with his hand he could outline something relatively small under the comforter, the size of a bowling ball. The last thing he needed was Watson carrying an invitations to the perv's...Earl's house; but why would Watson get under his comforter?
Curiosity won over apprehension and he slowly turned around. But his puzzlement wasn't relieved in the slightest. He still couldn't see what was under the comforter, no, but it was obviously a head. That or a bowling player had been decapitated next to his bed. A slender bowling player. Which wasn't that ridiculous an option, because if that was indeed the body's head, then the poor owner of said head would have a terrible neck ache when they woke up. That position was most unnatural!
He eventually lifted the comforter and saw, of course, a head. A blond head; a beautiful blond head, with a beautiful boy's face and a beautiful peaceful expression on it.
It was then that he remembered the circumstances that had brought him back to his apartment after what had happened at the infirmary. But mostly, what had happened minutes before he surrendered to exhaustion and fell asleep. Hisoka, stubborn as only he could be, had refused to leave his side under any circumstance. Tsusuki had tried his best to get the boy, who was obviously beyond tired, to go back to his apartment and also get some rest. When that had proven useless, he'd tried to make the boy take at least the couch; but Hisoka would have none of it. And evidently, tiredness had won in the end and the poor boy had fallen asleep somewhere during his watch.
Touched beyond words, Tsusuki brushed a few strands of hair that had fallen over the boy's eyes, and kissed his forehead.
"I love you so much." he whispered with a pained tone.
He realised that he couldn't just leave Hisoka sleeping in that awful position, so he tried to wake him to offer his own bed as a more suitable resting place; though he wanted to stay in a little longer, Hisoka obviously needed it more than him. He shook the boy a little but he batted Tsusuki's hands away.
"I don't want any sweets, give them to the baka..." the young man mumbled, making Tsusuki smile.
When he realised Hisoka wasn't waking up unless he made his attempts a little more adamant, Tsusuki decided against it; judging it unfair to get the young man away from the peace he seemed to've found in his dreams. With a little effort and much dexterity Tsusuki hadn't known he possessed, he lifted Hisoka from the chair he was occupying and pulled the boy to him on the bed, covering them both with the blankets.
He feared the boy would wake up. He knew Hisoka would want his head on a platter as soon as he realised what he'd done; so, he did consider getting up of bed and leaving the boy alone. But the bundle in his arms felt incredibly good.
In his sleep, Hisoka didn't seem to object to his new situation. He hugged Tsusuki close, mumbling some incoherent, yet obviously pleased words. Tsusuki stared at his partner's face, flushed with sleep, with growing amusement. The young shinigami was so different from what he wanted everyone to believe. Tsusuki was probably the only one allowed to see the real Hisoka.
The shinigami just stared at his young charge, stroking his soft hair lazily and wondering how could something feel so incredibly right and make him feel so bad at the same time. He felt guilty, for using Hijiri to replace Hisoka; for thinking Hisoka hated him; for breaking the promise he'd made to him, even if he'd remained true to it in the end. In his heart he'd broken it, because he hadn't thought it enough to stay.
But he wouldn't run away again. He was going to face everything. He'll tell Hisoka what he'd done; he'd beg Hijiri's forgiveness and finally, he'd tell Hisoka he loved him. Not because he expected the young man to reciprocate, but because he wouldn't hide anything from him ever again. If Hisoka deemed it necessary to break their partnership after his confession, it was his right.
He reluctantly slid out of bed, trying with all his might not to disturb the boy, and lovingly covered him back with the blankets. He scribbled a note so Hisoka wouldn't be worried should he wake up and find him gone.
He had something to do.
--------------------
Tatsumi collapsed on top of Watari, his body covered in sweat and his eyes slightly unfocussed. Panting, the scientist ran his hands softly up and down the secretary's back, hushing him and whispering endearments.
Long minutes passed in comfortable silence. Tatsumi rolled off his friend and Watari pillowed his head on the shadow master's shoulder, lovingly caressing the other man's arms. After a while, Watari felt the body under him shaking softly and he looked up to find Tatsumi laughing.
"What's so funny?" he said, unable to stop himself from smiling too, since he found the secretary's smile to be awfully contagious.
"So much for our talk, ne?"
Watari shrugged, amused.
"I think an action is worth a thousand words..." he frowned "Though that's not how the phrase goes..."
Tatsumi ran a hand through the beautiful length of blond hair and nodded.
"I agree. And quite an action it was!" he joked. Then he frowned slightly, tensing up a bit. "Though I'm not sure we've...sort some things out...I mean..."
"What's left to clarify?" Watari asked confusedly, and not a little bit nervous. "I want you, you want me...I think it's pretty clear."
Tatsumi shifted uncomfortably and averted his gaze from the beautiful amber eyes.
"Is that all? I mean...You just want me? I mean..."
Watari felt caught. He knew that getting through Tatsumi would be trying. He had meant to take things slow so he wouldn't scare the other man away, who had obvious issues when it came to relationships. Truth be told, he had grown to love his friend a long time ago, but he wasn't sure that telling Tatsumi the depth of his feelings would be such a good idea. He'd waited long enough, from trying to deepen their friendship, to making not-so-subtle hints and flirting half jokingly to ease Tatsumi into the idea of them being something more. Now all of the sudden they were lovers, and he feared telling him how much, and for how long he'd loved him would make Tatsumi freak out.
Seeing as Watari seemed to have trouble answering, Tatsumi hugged him tight for a moment and slid of the embrace, sighing sadly and fetching for his clothes.
"It's ok. Just wanting me is enough, I guess. The last thing I want is to jeopardize our friendship. It means the world to me."
From the sad tone of the secretary, Watari realised about his mistake. He sat up and slid both arms around the other man.
"Of course I love you." he said warmly. "You're my best friend, after all. But..." he paused, frowning. "It's hard to explain; what I feel for you. It's like...warmth...comfort. I love you...not in a passionate way, per sei. Though, obviously I really, really want you. But...being with you, even when we're making love, it's..."
Tatsumi smiled. He tucked a strand of hair behind Watari's ear.
"Like coming home," he continued for the scientist. "I enjoy your company so much. I'm never tense around you, or afraid of how I should act. You never just make me laugh, you make sure we laugh together. I know you like I know myself and we fit together perfectly. Not because were alike, but because we compliment each other. It's not about burning passion. It's about companionship. I'm never alone when I'm with you." he kissed the top of Watari's nose and smiled. "You're my best friend."
They hugged then; not out of desire or want, not because they were *in love*, but because they loved each other. They just hugged for the longest time in silence, memorizing the feel of the other.
-----------------------
Tsusuki gazed around the see of young heads, feeling like he'd never actually left that place. Last time he'd been there, everything had seemed so simple; so full of hope.
In all honesty, just a week before his life was still that tedious routine; a succession of days with nothing to wait for and with so much to regret. And then the young man he was waiting for had come and gave him something to hope for, even if he'd been setting his hopes on the wrong person. Hijiri had also forced him to see his true feelings. And he'd hurt him in a way he couldn't even begin to imagine.
Another thing that escaped his power of imagination was how in hell he was going to explain to Hijiri that he had used him as a substitute for the one he really loved, but that he hadn't meant it and he really was sorry. It was all so damn complicated.
He spotted the black head at a distance and frowned. Hijiri was chatting with some friends with a huge smile on his face. It wasn't as if Tsusuki had wanted him to be crushed, but his pride did hurt a little seeing Hijiri seemingly unaffected by what had happened.
He was even more surprised when he saw a tall, handsome boy walk towards him and the way they both carried around each other while they talked. They seemed...intimate. He was in no position to feel hurt by it, but never the less he did. Just a little bit; thinking that Hijiri hadn't had any trouble forgetting about him and finding someone new.
Tsusuki turned on his heals and left. He would have to talk to him eventually, but he didn't trust himself to do it just yet. If he showed any sign of being upset by what he'd seen, then he'd just look like a son of a bitch.
With a handful of new, confusing emotions, the shinigami abandoned the school yard and walked silently back to his home.
He wondered why he was walking so much lately, instead of teleporting as usual. Walking soothed him, he concluded, and lately he had been in serious need of soothing.
----------------
Hisoka woke from a pleasant dream. Pleasant dreams were something to cherish for him and he tried as hard as he could to return to the comfort of the dream.
He was resting in a very comfortable bed; nothing like his own. A bed so comfortable was an inconvenience to anyone who had a habit of rising early, he noted. No one could willingly abandon the comfort of that bed before it was absolutely necessary. And the sheets smelled wonderfully sweet. Like Tsusuki, he realised with a start.
He opened his eyes immediately, hoping to find the other man resting next to him, only to be disappointed a moment later. Worried, he sat up and glanced around the room, until his eyes found a little piece of paper with Tsusuki's very own, illegible scrabbles on it.
~'Soka
Sleep well? *smiley face*
Need to run some errands.
Be back soon.
Cook something tasty. *little heart*
Your partner.~
He sighed and laid back down. The baka would have to wait for him to cook. What was he, his maid? Still, the innocent way Tsusuki added those details to the note got a smile out of him.
He took a deep breath and took in the scent of his partner. He could still remember that fraction of a second when Tsusuki had held him after making love. He craved to be in his arms that same way again. It felt like he had missed an important part of something; like what they'd done wasn't complete. But he knew if things hadn't happened the way they did, if he'd have gotten the chance to snuggle with Tsusuki afterwards with him thinking he was Hijiri, he would have felt empty.
He still didn't know how he was going to come clean. It didn't matter that Tsusuki loved him, the man could very well be angry at him and end up hating him. After all, Hisoka had cheated him and toyed with his emotions.
He still wanted to tell him though. He wanted to feel the same he'd felt the night before, knowing full well it was him making love with Tsusuki, and not an illusion or a deceit.
He realised he'd been practically strangling the pillow and loosened his grip, burying his face in the fabric and sighing contently. He wasn't going to get a chance to be so lazy any other time. Maybe Tsusuki was right in being as he was. Just staying in bed for the fun of it was certainly nice.
Eventually the sound of the lock diverted him from his musings, and he bolted out of bed. If he were to get caught idle by Tsusuki, he would never hear the end of it. He made a dash for the bathroom, realising with horror after he'd closed the door that he had forgotten all about his shoes.
Tsusuki saw the blurry figure of his partner rushing to the bathroom and he got really concerned about him. Hisoka had been acting really funny ever since that morning and Tsusuki could only think that maybe he was sick. Or maybe...being in his bed had somewhat affected his empathy? If Hisoka felt sick because of him, he'd give up on his dignity and just burst out crying. You can only control your feelings of guilt for so long.
He knocked on the door softly, straining his ears to pick on any sound of heaving, just in case Hisoka was throwing up and tried to hide it later.
"Are you ok, 'Soka?!" he said worriedly.
Hisoka looked desperately around for an excuse for him to be locked in there, until he realised he was in the *bathroom*. What excuse could anyone need, really?
"I'm fine, baka! Can I pee in peace?!" he only hoped his nervousness hadn't seeped into his voice.
Tsusuki blinked a few times, blushing.
"Of...of course, 'Soka, I'm sorry. I'm...I'll wait for you in the living room? I need to talk to you, ok?"
The sound of something large slamming against the door was heard and Tsusuki jumped.
"I'm *peeing*!!!!" Hisoka spat.
"Of course, of course." Tsusuki mumbled, and rushed out of there in fear.
Tsusuki was studying his nails intently, sitting on his couch and waiting for his young partner to finish 'peeing'. He blushed again and cleared his throat. He certainly was taking a long time at it.
Finally, the young shinigami passed in front of him on his way to the kitchen, glaring at him for a moment. Before Tsusuki had a chance to say anything he was out of sight, and he could have sworn he saw the boy blushing a little after glaring at him.
'This is it,' he thought, fidgeting in his seat. 'I have to tell him now. Maybe I should leave Hijiri out. There's a better chance of him returning my feelings if he doesn't know about that.' He frowned. 'But I have to be honest or I'm going to mess up again. He's not going to return my feelings anyway. Look at Hijiri...I thought he loved me and as soon as we break up he runs and gets another boyfriend. In fact, we never actually broke up!'
He shifted in his seat once more, feeling uncomfortable. He was sitting on something, he noted. Something not as soft as the pillows of his couch and it had buttons; hard, metal buttons that had ended up bothering him in a very uncomfortable place.
He lifted the item up and noticed it was a jacket. Hisoka's to be precise. He was about to fold it as neatly as Tsusuki knew how, when something dark fell from one of the pockets. He stared at the dark wig confusedly for some time before picking it up. And as soon as he did, all the pieces of a puzzle he hadn't known he was trying to solve fell into place.
TBC
Oooooooooh!!! Next chapter is the last!!! Unless I write an epilogue? I might do that, but not right away...
Contests!!!
1) Someone tell me *why* I named this fic 'A devil's thrill', I can't remember it myself...o-O
2) Anyone knows of a good Slam Dunk fanfic? I'll appreciate any RuHana/HanaRu recommendations!!
3) I'm shameless, heh heh, I keep asking for reviews even after 87 of them!! And each of them nice!!
Now to the prizes:
Miyahara Yuuki, with all the time I've taken to update you've probably finished with your exams, right? I hope it went well. Just in case, I'll give you brownies. If they went well you can celebrate with them, and if not, they will cheer you up. I know you ( and everyone else) were impatient for this chappy to get here. I'll try my best for the conclusion to be ready for Sunday, but my life is so complicated right now I wouldn't dare to promise anything.
Sheera's Greywolf, of course you'll love me forever!! I'm a genius!! LoL. No, seriously; thank you for the smoochies. Of course it'll be a happy ending. I don't write anything else. Here, more chocolate cake for you.
*Looks curiously at Serenity* Should I give you more cake? Is Tsusuki alright? That can't possibly be good for his stomach! And Hijiri? I would pay to see him covered in cake!! @-@ Here, lots of Halloween candy for all of you!
Kyraille Fade, glad I made you laugh. As I post this I'm reviewing the last chappy of your fic. And happy belated birthday!! Though you were the closest to the answer, it was a trick question. Watari actually appears on page 162 of book one for the first time for two frames. In one you can't really see his face and the other is really small, chibi like. But he does look cute on the Jouchou 101: lecture thingy. And oh, does Tatsumi look sexy on the front page of that!!! For you a piece of my birthday cake!! I saved it for you!!
Dodger-chan, I'm glad the fact I didn't know about the visor thingy didn't upset you. I knew I was about to mess up writing about a character I haven't seen. But it was ok? Lets pretend I'm writing AU so I can get away with it??
A bag of candy for you!!!
Kiyomi, thanks for your review. Are you ok? *-* Here, have some candy. *slips sedatives into them* And a Tsusuki plushie for reviewing the first time.
Madiha, so you like blueberry too? I hope you still think this is good work?? *tears up* We'll see if Hisoka spills the beans or not. Mwahahaha! Some of those apples with candy on them for you; and I think you guys put pop korn on them too.
Last waltz, no you didn't scare me! *nervous laugh* ha ha ha...er, still, put that gun away. Angst is the best when there's a happy ending! And I love happy endings so don't worry!! A plastic pumpkin filled with candy for you.
Cap'n Chobie!! You're full of praises! Thanks for saying I'm a god...heh heh, now give me all your money! *-* No, really, thanx, I'm glad you liked it. I'm afraid the manga has drifted and is never going to be completed. I hate when that happens. Maybe we could gather signatures and send them to Matsushita sensei so she finishes the story and gets Tsusuki and Hisoka together at last? I so want to write a FAKE fic! I love FAKE! I love JJ the most, so I might just write a JJ/Drake get together soon!! Will you read it? A Tsusuki plushie for you for reviewing the first time and Halloween candy!!
Koyuki! Yes, yes, you get a plushie! Tsusuki plushie, ok? LOL at Tsusuki and the car! That made me laugh out loud. I know, I know, It's break. I don't know why I keep mixing them up. They sound the same!! Waaaaaah T-T And 'Soka-chan deserves to be happy! You'll have to wait and see if I let him though, Mwahahaha!
Happy belated birthday to Tifa too! 15? You're like...a baby!! Waaaaaah! I wanna be 15 again!! Waaaaaaaah! We Libra are the best, ne? I hope you enjoyed your bd as well. Down here we make a big deal about the 15th birthday. I never got a big party though. Thank god, no big, puffy pink dress, no tons of guests and cheesy music! I had a simple, family evening and I loved it! Here, have some of my birthday cake!
?, I'm so so sorry for taking sooooo long!!! Anyway, I speak spanish, I'm *not* spanish. I'm from Argentina. Do you really think my english is good? I hope you liked this chappy! I'll try not to take so long for next! Halloween candy for you!!
In case I don't see you, Happy Halloween!!
Ja ne!!
Anyway, that's what happened. And here's your update, at last. I hope you haven't lost interest in the story. *shimmering eyes*
Oh, in case anyone cares, Sakura crisis has the scanlations for the second chapter of book 5 of YNM. If you have it already, check Alchemist Watari and tell me he doesn't look super hot!
Enjoy!
A DEVIL'S THRILL
A low, happy humming filled the secretary's office. Tatsumi roamed around files and completed reports with a genuine smile on his face. He knew that he'd been the center of every rumour around the office that day. It wasn't even two p.m. and there were already several theories as to why the shadow master was so happy.
The most sceptical feared their salaries were about to get cut, hence the gleam of the shadow master's eyes. Some speculated that he might have cheated a few extra bucks from the accounters. The rest figured that Tsusuki hadn't destroyed anything for long enough and the budget had been enough to cover their expenses for once.
He'd heard them whispering as he passed through the halls, but Tatsumi couldn't care less. The sun was shining bright and leaking through the west windows of the building, cleaning the air and warming it.
In all honesty, the secretary wanted more than anything to leave all the files for another day and make an escape to the scientist apartment. But even in such a happy trance, Tatsumi knew he couldn't neglect his responsibilities so much. Watari, Hisoka and Tsusuki all had the day off. He couldn't really leave. But as the hours passed and the day got more and more pleasant, the temptation grew stronger and his resolve weaker.
He felt a sort of rush, a sense of freedom, when he pulled his suit coat off himself and tossed to a nearby chair. He rolled up his shirt sleeves and loosened his tie. He felt good.
Very, very good.
There were times during that day when a sense of dread would reach him. He'd start thinking about what Watari wanted from their relationship and unavoidably several, non-pleasant, scenarios would come to his mind. But all in all, the good feeling the scientist had left in him would always win in the end. The best part was that Watari was, first and foremost, his best friend. Whatever happened, Watari would never do anything to hurt him, and that was what gave him hope. That, and the way Watari had treated him that morning.
The only thing that could win over his good mood was how slow the afternoon was going. He just wanted to leave as soon as possible. He glanced at his watch for the nth time and sighed impatiently. How had work become something so tedious, he didn't know.
It was obvious by three thirty that he wasn't going to get anything done until his doubts were cleared and he'd talked to Watari. Maybe after he knew for certain if the happiness he was feeling would last through time or would simply be something temporary, he would be able to find joy in working again.
He grabbed his now crumpled coat, glanced at his watch one more time and poke his head out the door to make sure there would be no witnesses for his skipping work. He never got a chance to see anything though. His head bumped into something soft; something soft that yelped, as a very, *very* hot substance spilled all over his hair and clothes.
The sense of deja vu prevented him from cursing. It seemed that he always ended up with some sort of beverage spilled over him during the last few days.
"Gomen! Oh god, I'm so sorry Tatsumi!" came the voice from over the wet secretary's head.
The sound of said voice was enough for Tatsumi to forget the unpleasant feeling of having what smelled like very bad coffee dripping from his hair over his eyes and making his shirt stick to his body. He glanced at his attacker with a half smile.
"What in the world are you doing here?" he said amusedly.
"I...I..." the scientist smiled sheepishly. "Couldn't wait 'til five...I wanted to see you." Watari held the empty mugs up. "I made us coffee." he offered, as an attempt to apologize.
Tatsumi snorted.
"I can smell it..."
Now that the shock had passed, Tatsumi felt incredibly uncomfortable. He wasn't quite sure how he was supposed to greet Watari. Of course he knew how he *wanted* to greet him, but suddenly he wasn't sure the blonde would appreciate it. Apparently Watari had the same dilemma because he took a step forward towards the secretary, only to take it back a second later, stammering a little.
The awkward moment got only worse when neither of them said anything; they just stood there, not quite looking at each other, but very much aware of the other's presence. Tatsumi then remembered that morning and figured he might as well do what he felt like doing. The awkward moment would die and he'd know for certain where he stood with Watari. He took the scientist hand in his, making the blonde immediately meet his gaze with a hopeful look, and leaned forward to brush his lips with Watari's.
"I'm glad you're here." he said, mere inches away from the scientist face.
Watari smiled and kissed him again. And again, and again, until they stumbled back into the office, locking the door behind them.
----------------
It was way past noon when Tsusuki was able to open his eyes again. Thankfully, the sight that met him wasn't that of the infirmary. It was his own room, his own bed; but most important of all, his own pillow. He wondered if other people gave such an importance to pillows as himself. His pillow was *his*; it had the shape of *his* head marked on it and a smell no other pillow in the world of the living or the dead had.
He snuggled closer to said item, refusing to get up just yet, even though he'd spent a big part of the previous twenty four hours sleeping. And part of the time he'd been awake he'd also spent it in bed, a voice whispered inside his head. The memory wasn't a welcomed one and he wasn't willing to let it spoil the moment. He'd have to face the consequences of his actions sooner or later, and later sounded definitively like the better option.
He sensed a slight movement on the mattress behind him and Tsusuki froze; not so much in fear as in puzzlement. He went through the options in his head, trying to determine the size of the intruder with the back of his hand; he didn't dare turning around, fearing one of those Muraki nightmares. But with his hand he could outline something relatively small under the comforter, the size of a bowling ball. The last thing he needed was Watson carrying an invitations to the perv's...Earl's house; but why would Watson get under his comforter?
Curiosity won over apprehension and he slowly turned around. But his puzzlement wasn't relieved in the slightest. He still couldn't see what was under the comforter, no, but it was obviously a head. That or a bowling player had been decapitated next to his bed. A slender bowling player. Which wasn't that ridiculous an option, because if that was indeed the body's head, then the poor owner of said head would have a terrible neck ache when they woke up. That position was most unnatural!
He eventually lifted the comforter and saw, of course, a head. A blond head; a beautiful blond head, with a beautiful boy's face and a beautiful peaceful expression on it.
It was then that he remembered the circumstances that had brought him back to his apartment after what had happened at the infirmary. But mostly, what had happened minutes before he surrendered to exhaustion and fell asleep. Hisoka, stubborn as only he could be, had refused to leave his side under any circumstance. Tsusuki had tried his best to get the boy, who was obviously beyond tired, to go back to his apartment and also get some rest. When that had proven useless, he'd tried to make the boy take at least the couch; but Hisoka would have none of it. And evidently, tiredness had won in the end and the poor boy had fallen asleep somewhere during his watch.
Touched beyond words, Tsusuki brushed a few strands of hair that had fallen over the boy's eyes, and kissed his forehead.
"I love you so much." he whispered with a pained tone.
He realised that he couldn't just leave Hisoka sleeping in that awful position, so he tried to wake him to offer his own bed as a more suitable resting place; though he wanted to stay in a little longer, Hisoka obviously needed it more than him. He shook the boy a little but he batted Tsusuki's hands away.
"I don't want any sweets, give them to the baka..." the young man mumbled, making Tsusuki smile.
When he realised Hisoka wasn't waking up unless he made his attempts a little more adamant, Tsusuki decided against it; judging it unfair to get the young man away from the peace he seemed to've found in his dreams. With a little effort and much dexterity Tsusuki hadn't known he possessed, he lifted Hisoka from the chair he was occupying and pulled the boy to him on the bed, covering them both with the blankets.
He feared the boy would wake up. He knew Hisoka would want his head on a platter as soon as he realised what he'd done; so, he did consider getting up of bed and leaving the boy alone. But the bundle in his arms felt incredibly good.
In his sleep, Hisoka didn't seem to object to his new situation. He hugged Tsusuki close, mumbling some incoherent, yet obviously pleased words. Tsusuki stared at his partner's face, flushed with sleep, with growing amusement. The young shinigami was so different from what he wanted everyone to believe. Tsusuki was probably the only one allowed to see the real Hisoka.
The shinigami just stared at his young charge, stroking his soft hair lazily and wondering how could something feel so incredibly right and make him feel so bad at the same time. He felt guilty, for using Hijiri to replace Hisoka; for thinking Hisoka hated him; for breaking the promise he'd made to him, even if he'd remained true to it in the end. In his heart he'd broken it, because he hadn't thought it enough to stay.
But he wouldn't run away again. He was going to face everything. He'll tell Hisoka what he'd done; he'd beg Hijiri's forgiveness and finally, he'd tell Hisoka he loved him. Not because he expected the young man to reciprocate, but because he wouldn't hide anything from him ever again. If Hisoka deemed it necessary to break their partnership after his confession, it was his right.
He reluctantly slid out of bed, trying with all his might not to disturb the boy, and lovingly covered him back with the blankets. He scribbled a note so Hisoka wouldn't be worried should he wake up and find him gone.
He had something to do.
--------------------
Tatsumi collapsed on top of Watari, his body covered in sweat and his eyes slightly unfocussed. Panting, the scientist ran his hands softly up and down the secretary's back, hushing him and whispering endearments.
Long minutes passed in comfortable silence. Tatsumi rolled off his friend and Watari pillowed his head on the shadow master's shoulder, lovingly caressing the other man's arms. After a while, Watari felt the body under him shaking softly and he looked up to find Tatsumi laughing.
"What's so funny?" he said, unable to stop himself from smiling too, since he found the secretary's smile to be awfully contagious.
"So much for our talk, ne?"
Watari shrugged, amused.
"I think an action is worth a thousand words..." he frowned "Though that's not how the phrase goes..."
Tatsumi ran a hand through the beautiful length of blond hair and nodded.
"I agree. And quite an action it was!" he joked. Then he frowned slightly, tensing up a bit. "Though I'm not sure we've...sort some things out...I mean..."
"What's left to clarify?" Watari asked confusedly, and not a little bit nervous. "I want you, you want me...I think it's pretty clear."
Tatsumi shifted uncomfortably and averted his gaze from the beautiful amber eyes.
"Is that all? I mean...You just want me? I mean..."
Watari felt caught. He knew that getting through Tatsumi would be trying. He had meant to take things slow so he wouldn't scare the other man away, who had obvious issues when it came to relationships. Truth be told, he had grown to love his friend a long time ago, but he wasn't sure that telling Tatsumi the depth of his feelings would be such a good idea. He'd waited long enough, from trying to deepen their friendship, to making not-so-subtle hints and flirting half jokingly to ease Tatsumi into the idea of them being something more. Now all of the sudden they were lovers, and he feared telling him how much, and for how long he'd loved him would make Tatsumi freak out.
Seeing as Watari seemed to have trouble answering, Tatsumi hugged him tight for a moment and slid of the embrace, sighing sadly and fetching for his clothes.
"It's ok. Just wanting me is enough, I guess. The last thing I want is to jeopardize our friendship. It means the world to me."
From the sad tone of the secretary, Watari realised about his mistake. He sat up and slid both arms around the other man.
"Of course I love you." he said warmly. "You're my best friend, after all. But..." he paused, frowning. "It's hard to explain; what I feel for you. It's like...warmth...comfort. I love you...not in a passionate way, per sei. Though, obviously I really, really want you. But...being with you, even when we're making love, it's..."
Tatsumi smiled. He tucked a strand of hair behind Watari's ear.
"Like coming home," he continued for the scientist. "I enjoy your company so much. I'm never tense around you, or afraid of how I should act. You never just make me laugh, you make sure we laugh together. I know you like I know myself and we fit together perfectly. Not because were alike, but because we compliment each other. It's not about burning passion. It's about companionship. I'm never alone when I'm with you." he kissed the top of Watari's nose and smiled. "You're my best friend."
They hugged then; not out of desire or want, not because they were *in love*, but because they loved each other. They just hugged for the longest time in silence, memorizing the feel of the other.
-----------------------
Tsusuki gazed around the see of young heads, feeling like he'd never actually left that place. Last time he'd been there, everything had seemed so simple; so full of hope.
In all honesty, just a week before his life was still that tedious routine; a succession of days with nothing to wait for and with so much to regret. And then the young man he was waiting for had come and gave him something to hope for, even if he'd been setting his hopes on the wrong person. Hijiri had also forced him to see his true feelings. And he'd hurt him in a way he couldn't even begin to imagine.
Another thing that escaped his power of imagination was how in hell he was going to explain to Hijiri that he had used him as a substitute for the one he really loved, but that he hadn't meant it and he really was sorry. It was all so damn complicated.
He spotted the black head at a distance and frowned. Hijiri was chatting with some friends with a huge smile on his face. It wasn't as if Tsusuki had wanted him to be crushed, but his pride did hurt a little seeing Hijiri seemingly unaffected by what had happened.
He was even more surprised when he saw a tall, handsome boy walk towards him and the way they both carried around each other while they talked. They seemed...intimate. He was in no position to feel hurt by it, but never the less he did. Just a little bit; thinking that Hijiri hadn't had any trouble forgetting about him and finding someone new.
Tsusuki turned on his heals and left. He would have to talk to him eventually, but he didn't trust himself to do it just yet. If he showed any sign of being upset by what he'd seen, then he'd just look like a son of a bitch.
With a handful of new, confusing emotions, the shinigami abandoned the school yard and walked silently back to his home.
He wondered why he was walking so much lately, instead of teleporting as usual. Walking soothed him, he concluded, and lately he had been in serious need of soothing.
----------------
Hisoka woke from a pleasant dream. Pleasant dreams were something to cherish for him and he tried as hard as he could to return to the comfort of the dream.
He was resting in a very comfortable bed; nothing like his own. A bed so comfortable was an inconvenience to anyone who had a habit of rising early, he noted. No one could willingly abandon the comfort of that bed before it was absolutely necessary. And the sheets smelled wonderfully sweet. Like Tsusuki, he realised with a start.
He opened his eyes immediately, hoping to find the other man resting next to him, only to be disappointed a moment later. Worried, he sat up and glanced around the room, until his eyes found a little piece of paper with Tsusuki's very own, illegible scrabbles on it.
~'Soka
Sleep well? *smiley face*
Need to run some errands.
Be back soon.
Cook something tasty. *little heart*
Your partner.~
He sighed and laid back down. The baka would have to wait for him to cook. What was he, his maid? Still, the innocent way Tsusuki added those details to the note got a smile out of him.
He took a deep breath and took in the scent of his partner. He could still remember that fraction of a second when Tsusuki had held him after making love. He craved to be in his arms that same way again. It felt like he had missed an important part of something; like what they'd done wasn't complete. But he knew if things hadn't happened the way they did, if he'd have gotten the chance to snuggle with Tsusuki afterwards with him thinking he was Hijiri, he would have felt empty.
He still didn't know how he was going to come clean. It didn't matter that Tsusuki loved him, the man could very well be angry at him and end up hating him. After all, Hisoka had cheated him and toyed with his emotions.
He still wanted to tell him though. He wanted to feel the same he'd felt the night before, knowing full well it was him making love with Tsusuki, and not an illusion or a deceit.
He realised he'd been practically strangling the pillow and loosened his grip, burying his face in the fabric and sighing contently. He wasn't going to get a chance to be so lazy any other time. Maybe Tsusuki was right in being as he was. Just staying in bed for the fun of it was certainly nice.
Eventually the sound of the lock diverted him from his musings, and he bolted out of bed. If he were to get caught idle by Tsusuki, he would never hear the end of it. He made a dash for the bathroom, realising with horror after he'd closed the door that he had forgotten all about his shoes.
Tsusuki saw the blurry figure of his partner rushing to the bathroom and he got really concerned about him. Hisoka had been acting really funny ever since that morning and Tsusuki could only think that maybe he was sick. Or maybe...being in his bed had somewhat affected his empathy? If Hisoka felt sick because of him, he'd give up on his dignity and just burst out crying. You can only control your feelings of guilt for so long.
He knocked on the door softly, straining his ears to pick on any sound of heaving, just in case Hisoka was throwing up and tried to hide it later.
"Are you ok, 'Soka?!" he said worriedly.
Hisoka looked desperately around for an excuse for him to be locked in there, until he realised he was in the *bathroom*. What excuse could anyone need, really?
"I'm fine, baka! Can I pee in peace?!" he only hoped his nervousness hadn't seeped into his voice.
Tsusuki blinked a few times, blushing.
"Of...of course, 'Soka, I'm sorry. I'm...I'll wait for you in the living room? I need to talk to you, ok?"
The sound of something large slamming against the door was heard and Tsusuki jumped.
"I'm *peeing*!!!!" Hisoka spat.
"Of course, of course." Tsusuki mumbled, and rushed out of there in fear.
Tsusuki was studying his nails intently, sitting on his couch and waiting for his young partner to finish 'peeing'. He blushed again and cleared his throat. He certainly was taking a long time at it.
Finally, the young shinigami passed in front of him on his way to the kitchen, glaring at him for a moment. Before Tsusuki had a chance to say anything he was out of sight, and he could have sworn he saw the boy blushing a little after glaring at him.
'This is it,' he thought, fidgeting in his seat. 'I have to tell him now. Maybe I should leave Hijiri out. There's a better chance of him returning my feelings if he doesn't know about that.' He frowned. 'But I have to be honest or I'm going to mess up again. He's not going to return my feelings anyway. Look at Hijiri...I thought he loved me and as soon as we break up he runs and gets another boyfriend. In fact, we never actually broke up!'
He shifted in his seat once more, feeling uncomfortable. He was sitting on something, he noted. Something not as soft as the pillows of his couch and it had buttons; hard, metal buttons that had ended up bothering him in a very uncomfortable place.
He lifted the item up and noticed it was a jacket. Hisoka's to be precise. He was about to fold it as neatly as Tsusuki knew how, when something dark fell from one of the pockets. He stared at the dark wig confusedly for some time before picking it up. And as soon as he did, all the pieces of a puzzle he hadn't known he was trying to solve fell into place.
TBC
Oooooooooh!!! Next chapter is the last!!! Unless I write an epilogue? I might do that, but not right away...
Contests!!!
1) Someone tell me *why* I named this fic 'A devil's thrill', I can't remember it myself...o-O
2) Anyone knows of a good Slam Dunk fanfic? I'll appreciate any RuHana/HanaRu recommendations!!
3) I'm shameless, heh heh, I keep asking for reviews even after 87 of them!! And each of them nice!!
Now to the prizes:
Miyahara Yuuki, with all the time I've taken to update you've probably finished with your exams, right? I hope it went well. Just in case, I'll give you brownies. If they went well you can celebrate with them, and if not, they will cheer you up. I know you ( and everyone else) were impatient for this chappy to get here. I'll try my best for the conclusion to be ready for Sunday, but my life is so complicated right now I wouldn't dare to promise anything.
Sheera's Greywolf, of course you'll love me forever!! I'm a genius!! LoL. No, seriously; thank you for the smoochies. Of course it'll be a happy ending. I don't write anything else. Here, more chocolate cake for you.
*Looks curiously at Serenity* Should I give you more cake? Is Tsusuki alright? That can't possibly be good for his stomach! And Hijiri? I would pay to see him covered in cake!! @-@ Here, lots of Halloween candy for all of you!
Kyraille Fade, glad I made you laugh. As I post this I'm reviewing the last chappy of your fic. And happy belated birthday!! Though you were the closest to the answer, it was a trick question. Watari actually appears on page 162 of book one for the first time for two frames. In one you can't really see his face and the other is really small, chibi like. But he does look cute on the Jouchou 101: lecture thingy. And oh, does Tatsumi look sexy on the front page of that!!! For you a piece of my birthday cake!! I saved it for you!!
Dodger-chan, I'm glad the fact I didn't know about the visor thingy didn't upset you. I knew I was about to mess up writing about a character I haven't seen. But it was ok? Lets pretend I'm writing AU so I can get away with it??
A bag of candy for you!!!
Kiyomi, thanks for your review. Are you ok? *-* Here, have some candy. *slips sedatives into them* And a Tsusuki plushie for reviewing the first time.
Madiha, so you like blueberry too? I hope you still think this is good work?? *tears up* We'll see if Hisoka spills the beans or not. Mwahahaha! Some of those apples with candy on them for you; and I think you guys put pop korn on them too.
Last waltz, no you didn't scare me! *nervous laugh* ha ha ha...er, still, put that gun away. Angst is the best when there's a happy ending! And I love happy endings so don't worry!! A plastic pumpkin filled with candy for you.
Cap'n Chobie!! You're full of praises! Thanks for saying I'm a god...heh heh, now give me all your money! *-* No, really, thanx, I'm glad you liked it. I'm afraid the manga has drifted and is never going to be completed. I hate when that happens. Maybe we could gather signatures and send them to Matsushita sensei so she finishes the story and gets Tsusuki and Hisoka together at last? I so want to write a FAKE fic! I love FAKE! I love JJ the most, so I might just write a JJ/Drake get together soon!! Will you read it? A Tsusuki plushie for you for reviewing the first time and Halloween candy!!
Koyuki! Yes, yes, you get a plushie! Tsusuki plushie, ok? LOL at Tsusuki and the car! That made me laugh out loud. I know, I know, It's break. I don't know why I keep mixing them up. They sound the same!! Waaaaaah T-T And 'Soka-chan deserves to be happy! You'll have to wait and see if I let him though, Mwahahaha!
Happy belated birthday to Tifa too! 15? You're like...a baby!! Waaaaaah! I wanna be 15 again!! Waaaaaaaah! We Libra are the best, ne? I hope you enjoyed your bd as well. Down here we make a big deal about the 15th birthday. I never got a big party though. Thank god, no big, puffy pink dress, no tons of guests and cheesy music! I had a simple, family evening and I loved it! Here, have some of my birthday cake!
?, I'm so so sorry for taking sooooo long!!! Anyway, I speak spanish, I'm *not* spanish. I'm from Argentina. Do you really think my english is good? I hope you liked this chappy! I'll try not to take so long for next! Halloween candy for you!!
In case I don't see you, Happy Halloween!!
Ja ne!!