2025 Zulu
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, VA
As I stood there, in the middle of the JAG bullpen I let a smile creep onto my face. For the first time in months I was contented. I was able to catch a glimpse of the man I love. Granted it was on a television screen but it was something.
I have never admitted to needing anyone. I survived a childhood with my drunken and verbally abusive father. I have survived knowing that my mother abandoned me. I have followed in my fathers drunken footsteps and then found my own path with the help of Uncle Matt and again with Harm. I have fallen in and out of relationships that meant nothing to me, but were convenient. But I have fallen hard for a man that now, because of me, may never trust me enough to see where we may lead.
Yes, I may have broken his heart by saying that we will never work. But it was out of anger and frustration. I was tired, stressed, and emotionally drained. And he wanted to pick a fight. I was tired of dancing around the subject of "ifs" and "buts" and I gave up on the fight. I was tired of hurting. So now my heart is numb.
Everything is falling apart without him. I don't need him looking over my shoulder or helping me to stand. I just need to know that he is behind me, to catch me if I fall. Right now I am cautious with every step because I know that the only thing stopping me from scraping my knee is me.
This new assignment will force me to face him.
I stand listening to the sounds on the other side of the door. I can hear the strumming of the guitar. I wonder what or who he thinks about when he plays. I finally work up enough courage to knock. And there he is, just as handsome as always. He answers the door with and with a look of both surprise and pain he says my name, "Mac."
I can tell already this isn't the heartfelt encounter that I wished for. It may even get ugly.
"What are you doing here?" he asks harshly.
"I've called you seventeen times in the past five months. We need to talk!" I say with a smile on my face to lighten the mood.
"I thought you said we were done talking" he rebuts.
"I know you feel hurt!" I say, trying to get him to open up.
"You have no idea what I'm feeling Mac!" he yells a little louder then I'm sure he planned.
I can tell this is just going to start a fight so I decide to tell him about Commander Imes and the fact that I need his help. He is able but not so willing. I can tell he still feels hurt and I know that is my fault and partly his own, to which he will never admit. But he has no idea how much I'm hurting.
Suddenly there is a knock at the door. He goes to open the door and sees "her", Ms. Gayle standing in the hall. I excuse myself and on my way out give her a warning glare. "Harm go through those files and give me a call when you've finished reviewing them..Ms. Gayle."
Friday Night (After Harm's conversation with the Admiral and dinner with Catherine Gayle)
Apt of Colonel Sarah MacKenzie
I walk in the door and see that the light for the answering machine is blinking. I head into my room and to change into something more comfortable and then walk back into the living room to listen to the message.
I press the button and I hear the same voice that I hear in my dreams. "Hey Mac, it's Harm. I just wanted to let you know that AJ made his way all the way back out to Blacksburg to tell me that if the circumstances were good and I was willing that he would take me back. I wanted to ask you over so you could give me a rundown of operations lately so I don't go in like a chicken with it's head cut off like I did when I came back from flying. If you wouldn't mind coming over tomorrow night for dinner I would appreciate it. So hopefully I'll see you tomorrow night! Goodnight Sarah."
I listen to the message once more. Dinner, he wants to have dinner. Well that's something. I can't take this anymore. I'm going to tell him. No running away, no misconceptions. Just the truth. This is it. It's all or nothing.
I pick up my phone and dial the all too familiar number and leave a response on his machine, "That sounds great. I'll bring over some Chinese and see you at 1930. See you then Harm." It was a simple message, no need for me to show my hand and then fold. No, just short and sweet.
A/N: I have new inspiration and am working on the conclusion to this story now. Keep with me.It will be a H/M shipper. I swear! Please R&R.
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, VA
As I stood there, in the middle of the JAG bullpen I let a smile creep onto my face. For the first time in months I was contented. I was able to catch a glimpse of the man I love. Granted it was on a television screen but it was something.
I have never admitted to needing anyone. I survived a childhood with my drunken and verbally abusive father. I have survived knowing that my mother abandoned me. I have followed in my fathers drunken footsteps and then found my own path with the help of Uncle Matt and again with Harm. I have fallen in and out of relationships that meant nothing to me, but were convenient. But I have fallen hard for a man that now, because of me, may never trust me enough to see where we may lead.
Yes, I may have broken his heart by saying that we will never work. But it was out of anger and frustration. I was tired, stressed, and emotionally drained. And he wanted to pick a fight. I was tired of dancing around the subject of "ifs" and "buts" and I gave up on the fight. I was tired of hurting. So now my heart is numb.
Everything is falling apart without him. I don't need him looking over my shoulder or helping me to stand. I just need to know that he is behind me, to catch me if I fall. Right now I am cautious with every step because I know that the only thing stopping me from scraping my knee is me.
This new assignment will force me to face him.
I stand listening to the sounds on the other side of the door. I can hear the strumming of the guitar. I wonder what or who he thinks about when he plays. I finally work up enough courage to knock. And there he is, just as handsome as always. He answers the door with and with a look of both surprise and pain he says my name, "Mac."
I can tell already this isn't the heartfelt encounter that I wished for. It may even get ugly.
"What are you doing here?" he asks harshly.
"I've called you seventeen times in the past five months. We need to talk!" I say with a smile on my face to lighten the mood.
"I thought you said we were done talking" he rebuts.
"I know you feel hurt!" I say, trying to get him to open up.
"You have no idea what I'm feeling Mac!" he yells a little louder then I'm sure he planned.
I can tell this is just going to start a fight so I decide to tell him about Commander Imes and the fact that I need his help. He is able but not so willing. I can tell he still feels hurt and I know that is my fault and partly his own, to which he will never admit. But he has no idea how much I'm hurting.
Suddenly there is a knock at the door. He goes to open the door and sees "her", Ms. Gayle standing in the hall. I excuse myself and on my way out give her a warning glare. "Harm go through those files and give me a call when you've finished reviewing them..Ms. Gayle."
Friday Night (After Harm's conversation with the Admiral and dinner with Catherine Gayle)
Apt of Colonel Sarah MacKenzie
I walk in the door and see that the light for the answering machine is blinking. I head into my room and to change into something more comfortable and then walk back into the living room to listen to the message.
I press the button and I hear the same voice that I hear in my dreams. "Hey Mac, it's Harm. I just wanted to let you know that AJ made his way all the way back out to Blacksburg to tell me that if the circumstances were good and I was willing that he would take me back. I wanted to ask you over so you could give me a rundown of operations lately so I don't go in like a chicken with it's head cut off like I did when I came back from flying. If you wouldn't mind coming over tomorrow night for dinner I would appreciate it. So hopefully I'll see you tomorrow night! Goodnight Sarah."
I listen to the message once more. Dinner, he wants to have dinner. Well that's something. I can't take this anymore. I'm going to tell him. No running away, no misconceptions. Just the truth. This is it. It's all or nothing.
I pick up my phone and dial the all too familiar number and leave a response on his machine, "That sounds great. I'll bring over some Chinese and see you at 1930. See you then Harm." It was a simple message, no need for me to show my hand and then fold. No, just short and sweet.
A/N: I have new inspiration and am working on the conclusion to this story now. Keep with me.It will be a H/M shipper. I swear! Please R&R.