Disclaimer: I don't own Enterprise. Also this story deals with self-harm and abuse so if you don't want to read a story like that I suggest you read something else. There all done! Sorry this took so long to write, it's really very draining to write this story. The title and parts of poem in this story are taken from Mlaa's "The Call Of Steel." Thanks to my beta, "HopefulNebula" as always, and to "Mlaa" for being kind enough to let me borrow her poem.
The Call Of Steel
Part 3:- You'll Never Know
~ My escape.
Can forget about the world.
Want to forget life for a while.
Angry.
"The Call of Steel" by Mlaa ~
Trip rolled over on his bed. His journey to wakefulness was a slow process. He yawned and stretched, his gaze moving lazily around. As he climbed out of bed, he glanced down at the word carved on his arm. He gave a small snort as he began to get dressed, thinking back to the first time he had cut himself...
~Flashback~
Trip stormed into his room muttering under his breath as he did so.
"Who does he think he is? I'm a grown man, he can't just force me around!" he yelled to the empty room. He pulled out a data pad from his bag and stared at it. The few words on this pad were the spark to the huge slanging match he and his father had just had.
"He can't control me." Trip told the quiet room. "If I want to go on Enterprise then it's up to me." The walls didn't answer as Trip stared at them.
"He can't control me God damn it!" he screamed. He swung his arm around, hitting a glass.
It went flying and smashed into the ground. Trip didn't seem to notice as he buried his head in his arms, sobs shaking his body. For a minute or two he remained like that then his head shot up. He gazed at the broken glass, his eyes wide. With trembling fingers he reached out and picked up a large shard of glass. He lifted the piece up and brought it down sharply against
his shoulder. He let out a started gasp and placed his finger on his shoulder. When he removed it the was blood on it. What had started Trip hadn't been the pain, the blood or anything like that. It had been the fact that he had enjoyed the the rush he felt as the blood spurted out. It had felt...
exhilarating.
~End Flashback~
"Lieutenant Reed to Commander Tucker." came Malcolm's comm voice. Trip jumped, shaken from his thoughts of the past. He moved over to the comm system.
"Tucker here. What can I do for you, Malcolm?"
"Trip, I've got a problem up here. Could you come and have a look at it?" he asked.
Trip smiled.
"Sure thing Malcolm, I'll be there in a minute." He cast one last look around his room, making sure nothing looked out of the ordinary then left.
A few minutes later he arrived on the bridge, smiling and acting normal.
"So, Malcolm, what's the problem?" he asked, a grin on his face. If someone had looked deep into his eyes they would have seen the grin didn't quite reach his face and the terrible pain that nestled in the very center of his eyes. But no one looked, so no one saw.
"It's just... I keep getting this weird ghost reading." Malcolm said, a slight frown on his face.
"I can- Trip, you're bleeding!" he yelled, pointing a dark stain on Trip's sleeve. Trip stared at it, frantically trying to keep calm.
"Yeah... I slipped over yesterday and accidentally cut myself." Trip muttered, his face going red. Malcolm started at him for a few seconds then shrugged his shoulders.
"Shouldn't you have told the doctor?" he asked. Trip shook his head.
"There was no point, it's only a little scratch." Trip said. "So where's this 'ghost' of yours?" he asked, clearly trying to change the subject. Malcolm turned back to his screen, his mind once
again taken up by the problem.
~@~
A hour or two later and Trip was being to get annyoyed. He couldn't seem to find out where this 'ghost' was.
"Damnit!" he muttered, hitting the console with his fist. Hoshi, startled, looked up from her work. She had never really seen Trip act like this. He had always regarded an unsolved problem as a fun challenge. Once Trip had stayed up for a whole week with out sleep just to try and work out how Porthos always managed to escape from the Captain's room. He never did work it out but had enjoyed trying to all the same.
Yet now... there was something wrong with Trip, Hoshi could feel it. She looked at him, unable to deiced with or not to try to talk to him when the Captain entered the bridge.
"Trip." There was something in the way he said it that made Trip look up. His gaze asked a question and with a sudden spams of fear he wondered what Archer had to tell him.
"Could you come to my ready room?" he asked quietly. Without a word Trip followed him. Inside Archer's room he stood there.
"Cap'n?" Trip asked. "What is it?"
"Trip..." Archer began. "I've got some news..."
TBC...
Please read and review! Please!!!! I'll give you all cookies! :)
The Call Of Steel
Part 3:- You'll Never Know
~ My escape.
Can forget about the world.
Want to forget life for a while.
Angry.
"The Call of Steel" by Mlaa ~
Trip rolled over on his bed. His journey to wakefulness was a slow process. He yawned and stretched, his gaze moving lazily around. As he climbed out of bed, he glanced down at the word carved on his arm. He gave a small snort as he began to get dressed, thinking back to the first time he had cut himself...
~Flashback~
Trip stormed into his room muttering under his breath as he did so.
"Who does he think he is? I'm a grown man, he can't just force me around!" he yelled to the empty room. He pulled out a data pad from his bag and stared at it. The few words on this pad were the spark to the huge slanging match he and his father had just had.
"He can't control me." Trip told the quiet room. "If I want to go on Enterprise then it's up to me." The walls didn't answer as Trip stared at them.
"He can't control me God damn it!" he screamed. He swung his arm around, hitting a glass.
It went flying and smashed into the ground. Trip didn't seem to notice as he buried his head in his arms, sobs shaking his body. For a minute or two he remained like that then his head shot up. He gazed at the broken glass, his eyes wide. With trembling fingers he reached out and picked up a large shard of glass. He lifted the piece up and brought it down sharply against
his shoulder. He let out a started gasp and placed his finger on his shoulder. When he removed it the was blood on it. What had started Trip hadn't been the pain, the blood or anything like that. It had been the fact that he had enjoyed the the rush he felt as the blood spurted out. It had felt...
exhilarating.
~End Flashback~
"Lieutenant Reed to Commander Tucker." came Malcolm's comm voice. Trip jumped, shaken from his thoughts of the past. He moved over to the comm system.
"Tucker here. What can I do for you, Malcolm?"
"Trip, I've got a problem up here. Could you come and have a look at it?" he asked.
Trip smiled.
"Sure thing Malcolm, I'll be there in a minute." He cast one last look around his room, making sure nothing looked out of the ordinary then left.
A few minutes later he arrived on the bridge, smiling and acting normal.
"So, Malcolm, what's the problem?" he asked, a grin on his face. If someone had looked deep into his eyes they would have seen the grin didn't quite reach his face and the terrible pain that nestled in the very center of his eyes. But no one looked, so no one saw.
"It's just... I keep getting this weird ghost reading." Malcolm said, a slight frown on his face.
"I can- Trip, you're bleeding!" he yelled, pointing a dark stain on Trip's sleeve. Trip stared at it, frantically trying to keep calm.
"Yeah... I slipped over yesterday and accidentally cut myself." Trip muttered, his face going red. Malcolm started at him for a few seconds then shrugged his shoulders.
"Shouldn't you have told the doctor?" he asked. Trip shook his head.
"There was no point, it's only a little scratch." Trip said. "So where's this 'ghost' of yours?" he asked, clearly trying to change the subject. Malcolm turned back to his screen, his mind once
again taken up by the problem.
~@~
A hour or two later and Trip was being to get annyoyed. He couldn't seem to find out where this 'ghost' was.
"Damnit!" he muttered, hitting the console with his fist. Hoshi, startled, looked up from her work. She had never really seen Trip act like this. He had always regarded an unsolved problem as a fun challenge. Once Trip had stayed up for a whole week with out sleep just to try and work out how Porthos always managed to escape from the Captain's room. He never did work it out but had enjoyed trying to all the same.
Yet now... there was something wrong with Trip, Hoshi could feel it. She looked at him, unable to deiced with or not to try to talk to him when the Captain entered the bridge.
"Trip." There was something in the way he said it that made Trip look up. His gaze asked a question and with a sudden spams of fear he wondered what Archer had to tell him.
"Could you come to my ready room?" he asked quietly. Without a word Trip followed him. Inside Archer's room he stood there.
"Cap'n?" Trip asked. "What is it?"
"Trip..." Archer began. "I've got some news..."
TBC...
Please read and review! Please!!!! I'll give you all cookies! :)