A/N: I want to thank all of you who reviewed; you make this all worth it.
I also want to thank those that have followed through with this story. I
must confess I was and still am a little depressed as to how this season is
panning out, but it looks to be getting better. Now on with the show.this
is that chapter you have been waiting for since the beginning!
1930 EST North of Union Station Home of Harmon Rabb Jr.
(Harm's POV)
What Catherine said last night at dinner really hit home. Was what the Admiral said about me needing to grow up so true? Am I trying to find a makeshift family?
All of these thoughts have been flowing through my head all day. I know that I do not want to settle for anything but the best. And Catherine knew that. It would not be fair to her or the baby for me to be a makeshift husband/father. And it certainly would not be fair to me, because my heart would be empty. I know who I want to be with, but Mac has made it more than clear that she is no longer willing to fight for the possibility of an "us."
I break myself from these thoughts as I hear a knock at the door. I know its Mac. She's right on time as always.
(Mac's POV)
Ok MacKenzie, breathe. I have the bag of Chinese in my hand and knock on the door. I hear him come to the door and open it. As always he takes my breath away, but I don't let it show.
I walk in and he takes the bag from me and I close the door behind me.
"I want to apologize for the other night" we say in unison.
He nodded to me to go first. "Look Harm. I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I know that you are upset, even if you don't want to admit it to me," I get in quickly before he comments and he looks down at the floor and then back to me sheepishly. "However, I had no right to push the subject. I want you to know the reasons for my actions in Paraguay and if I don't tell you now I may never get up the nerve again."
I walk up to him and grab his hand and lead him over to the couch to sit down. I sit across from him on the coffee table and reach for one of his hands, which to my surprise he gives up willingly.
"I know that I have loved you in one way or another since the moment we met. And I also know that my heart can't take the game that we have been playing for eight years now. I was so happy that you found Webb and me in Paraguay. I knew you were going to be there. Remember, I always know where you are," I say, this time I'm the one who looks sheepish and look down at the floor.
With his free hand he reaches up to lift my chin and the thumb of his other had is reassuringly rubbing circles over my knuckles.
"I tried to thank you, but you seemed so edgy and hostile. I tried to joke with you but it only seemed to make you angrier and you threw some low blows. And then I just couldn't say anything right. So I got angry and told you that we would never work."
I look into his eyes and they clear a little. The anger is gone and now resentment is present.
"Mac," he gets out, but I cut him off.
"Hold on, you need to know this," he nods and I continue.
"Since that solitary moment in front of the hotel in Paraguay I have been absolutely miserable. I haven't been able to concentrate. I haven't been able to work. I haven't been able to talk to anyone because the one person that I want and need to talk to hates me. And I can't stand it because I love him so much and he has no idea. And I don't mean Clay. In fact, Clay and I are just friends. He would like more but I cannot settle for a man just because he loves me. I have to love him in return. And you are the only man that I love. You are the only man I have ever been in love with," I said finally with tears rolling down my face.
He leans towards me and pulls my knees so that they are between his and touching the couch and he begins to wipe the tears from my eyes.
"Ok," he breathes out and gives me a reassuring smile. "It's my turn. When the Admiral told me that you and Webb had disappeared I felt as if my entire life had been turned upside down. I was determined to do everything in my power and then some to get you back. When I saw you kiss Webb I was enraged. But I've had months to think about it. He protected you from harm when I was unable. And if anything I should have thrown him a party. However, I could have done without him canning me" he says which causes us both to laugh.
"I have been miserable since Paraguay also. Not only because of what you said, but because I know that my actions and words led to your decision. And that kills me. I love you more then anything else in this world. And I cannot live without you anymore. Every time I have kissed you I have had to break away because I could not breathe. Your presence takes over all of my senses. The sound of your voice, husky and sweet, makes my knees week. I have to hold back the urge to kiss you every time I see you."
I look into his eyes and I know that everything he is telling me is the truth.
"The only contentment I have found since Paraguay has been in my dreams. There I can see you whenever I want. I never say the wrong thing. And you are so beautiful.." He says and I can hear the crack in his voice and see the solitary tear roll down his face.
I lean into forward and hold his face in my hands and pull him into a kiss. It is the most beautiful kiss I have ever experienced. It is not needy like the kiss on the Admiral's porch. It's not out of fun like that night under the mistletoe. It is the kind of kiss Harm was talking about. We pull apart because we need to breathe. It takes a moment for me to regain my bearings.
I look at him for strength. "Harm, make love to me tonight. I need to know that you are really here. That this is not a dream. I need to know that you love me. I need to show you how much I love you," I say scared.
"Sarah, I love you so much."
I stood up and pulled him up along with me and begin to walk to his room. When we get there I back up to the bed and pull him as close as I can. I pull my sweater up over my head and stand there clad in my black bra. I watch as his eyes wander my form. He leans in to kiss me and trails kisses down my neck, down my chest and then he falls to his knees. He places his hands on my hips and trails barely there kisses around my belly button. I get lost in the sensation as he blows soft breaths on the now slightly damp area. It is just like my dream, but feels so much better.
I look down at him on his knees. "Harm lets make both of our dreams come true. Make love to me!" He obliges and stands up. And we have a night filled with passion that no dream could ever match.
A/N: I hope you liked. Sorry about the second and third chapters, but it was where the actual story lines were going. I finally got inspiration from a conversation with one of my friends so I hope you enjoy. Remember to R&R, I would appreciate no flames thanks!
1930 EST North of Union Station Home of Harmon Rabb Jr.
(Harm's POV)
What Catherine said last night at dinner really hit home. Was what the Admiral said about me needing to grow up so true? Am I trying to find a makeshift family?
All of these thoughts have been flowing through my head all day. I know that I do not want to settle for anything but the best. And Catherine knew that. It would not be fair to her or the baby for me to be a makeshift husband/father. And it certainly would not be fair to me, because my heart would be empty. I know who I want to be with, but Mac has made it more than clear that she is no longer willing to fight for the possibility of an "us."
I break myself from these thoughts as I hear a knock at the door. I know its Mac. She's right on time as always.
(Mac's POV)
Ok MacKenzie, breathe. I have the bag of Chinese in my hand and knock on the door. I hear him come to the door and open it. As always he takes my breath away, but I don't let it show.
I walk in and he takes the bag from me and I close the door behind me.
"I want to apologize for the other night" we say in unison.
He nodded to me to go first. "Look Harm. I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I know that you are upset, even if you don't want to admit it to me," I get in quickly before he comments and he looks down at the floor and then back to me sheepishly. "However, I had no right to push the subject. I want you to know the reasons for my actions in Paraguay and if I don't tell you now I may never get up the nerve again."
I walk up to him and grab his hand and lead him over to the couch to sit down. I sit across from him on the coffee table and reach for one of his hands, which to my surprise he gives up willingly.
"I know that I have loved you in one way or another since the moment we met. And I also know that my heart can't take the game that we have been playing for eight years now. I was so happy that you found Webb and me in Paraguay. I knew you were going to be there. Remember, I always know where you are," I say, this time I'm the one who looks sheepish and look down at the floor.
With his free hand he reaches up to lift my chin and the thumb of his other had is reassuringly rubbing circles over my knuckles.
"I tried to thank you, but you seemed so edgy and hostile. I tried to joke with you but it only seemed to make you angrier and you threw some low blows. And then I just couldn't say anything right. So I got angry and told you that we would never work."
I look into his eyes and they clear a little. The anger is gone and now resentment is present.
"Mac," he gets out, but I cut him off.
"Hold on, you need to know this," he nods and I continue.
"Since that solitary moment in front of the hotel in Paraguay I have been absolutely miserable. I haven't been able to concentrate. I haven't been able to work. I haven't been able to talk to anyone because the one person that I want and need to talk to hates me. And I can't stand it because I love him so much and he has no idea. And I don't mean Clay. In fact, Clay and I are just friends. He would like more but I cannot settle for a man just because he loves me. I have to love him in return. And you are the only man that I love. You are the only man I have ever been in love with," I said finally with tears rolling down my face.
He leans towards me and pulls my knees so that they are between his and touching the couch and he begins to wipe the tears from my eyes.
"Ok," he breathes out and gives me a reassuring smile. "It's my turn. When the Admiral told me that you and Webb had disappeared I felt as if my entire life had been turned upside down. I was determined to do everything in my power and then some to get you back. When I saw you kiss Webb I was enraged. But I've had months to think about it. He protected you from harm when I was unable. And if anything I should have thrown him a party. However, I could have done without him canning me" he says which causes us both to laugh.
"I have been miserable since Paraguay also. Not only because of what you said, but because I know that my actions and words led to your decision. And that kills me. I love you more then anything else in this world. And I cannot live without you anymore. Every time I have kissed you I have had to break away because I could not breathe. Your presence takes over all of my senses. The sound of your voice, husky and sweet, makes my knees week. I have to hold back the urge to kiss you every time I see you."
I look into his eyes and I know that everything he is telling me is the truth.
"The only contentment I have found since Paraguay has been in my dreams. There I can see you whenever I want. I never say the wrong thing. And you are so beautiful.." He says and I can hear the crack in his voice and see the solitary tear roll down his face.
I lean into forward and hold his face in my hands and pull him into a kiss. It is the most beautiful kiss I have ever experienced. It is not needy like the kiss on the Admiral's porch. It's not out of fun like that night under the mistletoe. It is the kind of kiss Harm was talking about. We pull apart because we need to breathe. It takes a moment for me to regain my bearings.
I look at him for strength. "Harm, make love to me tonight. I need to know that you are really here. That this is not a dream. I need to know that you love me. I need to show you how much I love you," I say scared.
"Sarah, I love you so much."
I stood up and pulled him up along with me and begin to walk to his room. When we get there I back up to the bed and pull him as close as I can. I pull my sweater up over my head and stand there clad in my black bra. I watch as his eyes wander my form. He leans in to kiss me and trails kisses down my neck, down my chest and then he falls to his knees. He places his hands on my hips and trails barely there kisses around my belly button. I get lost in the sensation as he blows soft breaths on the now slightly damp area. It is just like my dream, but feels so much better.
I look down at him on his knees. "Harm lets make both of our dreams come true. Make love to me!" He obliges and stands up. And we have a night filled with passion that no dream could ever match.
A/N: I hope you liked. Sorry about the second and third chapters, but it was where the actual story lines were going. I finally got inspiration from a conversation with one of my friends so I hope you enjoy. Remember to R&R, I would appreciate no flames thanks!