Disclaimer: Here ya all go part four! Things really start to heat up in this part. **warning** It's very Angst filled and there is some mention of people cutting themselves and child abuse. So if you don't want to read this sort of story, I'm warning you all now. The title and parts of poem in this story are taken from Mlaa's "The Call Of Steel." Thanks to my beta, "HopefulNebula"
as always, and to "Mlaa" for being kind enough to let me borrow her poem.
The Call Of Steel.
Part 4:- God's Tears
~ The need to break something
The need to destroy
The need to hurt someone.
"The Call of Steel" by Mlaa ~
~ 20 Years Before Enterprise ~
Charlie Tucker lay curled up on his bed fighting back the tears that threatened to engulf him.
"I won't cry... I won't!" he muttered to himself, the fear of another beating like the one yesterday clearly showing in his shaky voice. His room was in darkness, which he found oddly comforting. Unlike others, he knew that the night was his friend and not to be feared.
"Charlie?" The whisper came softly through the air towards him. Charlie froze, but the next second he relaxed, recognizing his mother's voice. She came forward, nearing his bed, her bright blue eyes a startling contrast to her raven hair.
"Charlie, what's wrong?"
"Nothing." he sniffed, turning his back on her.
"Charlie." his mother said, her voice gentle, yet commanding, "tell me." She reached out and cupped Charlie's face with her hand. Charlie turned and faced her, reveling the full blunt of his beating. His mother gave a sharp hiss as she examined his face.It was littered with bruises and a large black eye was forming under his left eye.
"Did he do this?" she asked. There was no need to say who 'he' was, they both knew. The look on her son's face was all the answer Tori Tucker needed. She gave a sad sigh and hugged Charlie.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." she muttered, rocking him back and forth. There was no talk of leaving Charles Tucker II or telling anyone, ever. They both knew that would be suicide.
"M-mom." Charlie sobbed, letting tears fall, despite his best efforts.
"Don't cry Charlie." his mother said, her own eyes getting misty. "That's God's job."
"What do you mean?" Charlie asked, his eyes bright. Tori gave him a sweet, sad smile.
"Every time someone is sad, it makes God sad. Every time someone is hurt or upset, God cries because his children are in pain. That's what rain is." Tori finished. Charlie looked confused.
"But sometimes I'm sad but there's no rain."
"God is everywhere, child. He cries where his tears are most needed." Charlie gave a nod to show he understood, then buried his face in her top. A faint sound came to Tori's ears. She looked around trying to locate the source of the sound. Outside, falling softly was rain. She looked down at her son, painfully aware that he had to grow up much faster than any child should have to, in an effort to survive. Charlie gave a loud sob.
"Shush," his mother whispered, rocking him gently. "Can you hear? God is crying."
~20 Years Later~
Trip blundered out of the Captain's ready room, swaying slightly. He ran towards the lift. Trip panted slightly, feeling hot and cold at the same time.
//It can't be true!\\ Trip thought, his vision temporally out of focus. The lift doors opened with a hiss and Trip stumbled in. As they closed Trip half saw Archer run out of the room. He was saying something but Trip couldn't seem to hear the words. The lift doors closed and Trip sank to the floor, his legs unable to support his weight anymore. On the bridge Archer stared at the closed doors, where a second ago the tortured face of his best friend had stared at him.
"Captain?" Malcolm asked uncertainly. "Do you want someone to go after him?" Malcolm was never destined to know what Archer's reply would have been, for at that moment a blast of some kind hit Enterprise.
"What the hell was that?" Archer roared, all thoughts of Trip pushed out of his head.
"It appeared to be some form of weapons blast!" Malcolm yelled, franticly trying to arm the weapons.
"I can detect a ship off our port bow, Captain." Travis said.
"Hail them, ask them why they are attacking us." Archer commanded. Hoshi nodded, her face grim.
On a lower deck of Enterprise Trip walked, lost in his own thoughts. He hadn't felt the blast hit the ship or heard the calls from Engineering, calling for him. He walked morosely into his quarters, rubbing at his eyes with his fingers, trying to will away the tears. With a sigh he moved over to his mirror ad stared at his reflection. With a yell of pure fury he swung his fist back and punched the mirror, shattering it into tiny pieces. He slid down the wall, his head in his arms, sobbing loudly.
"No..." he said. He raised a tear stained face and gazed out at the stars.
"Is God crying mummy?" he asked in a child-like voice. "Is he crying?" Without thinking about it he grasped a piece of glass and brought down on his arm. Instead of the familiar feeling of escape it usually brought, all he felt was emptiness. He watched the blood slowly soak through his clothes, wondering why he felt nothing.
"You see?" a voice hissed out of the darkness. "You can't even do that properly!" Trip looked into the darkness.
"You're not here." he called uncertainly. "you're not here, Dad." Only the silence answered him. Trip pushed himself up and walked into his main room, still holding the piece of glass. He was holding it so tightly in his fist that blood began to dribble out. He opened his fist and stared at the blood stained chunk of glass. With his un-injured hand he lifted his top, his eyes blank the whole time. With a slight gasp he brought the sharp point down on his chest. The blood came
rushing out and Trip gave the faintest of smiles as the wonderful feelings came rushing to him.
"You think that will solve anything boy?" his dad's voice spoke again. Trip shook his head.
"No... you're not here, so get out of my head!" he muttered, clucking at his blond hair.
"I'm coming... remember what the 'Cap'n' said?" the voice said mockly.
"Shut up!" Trip screamed, his thoughts unwilling going back to the news Archer had told him.
~Flashback~
"Cap'n?" Trip asked. "What is it?"
"Trip..." Archer began. "I've got some news..." he paused and ran his fingers through his hair.
"Okay, Cap'n, you're starting to scare me." Trip joked, trying to ignore the cold feeling that was running through his vains.
"It's about... Trip it's about your dad." Archer blurted out. Trip froze, his back to Archer.
"What about him?" Trip asked coldly, his face a mass of panic. Archer couldn't see that though.
"He's sick." Archer said bluntly. "Trip... they say he's dying..."
"Dying?" Trip said shocked.
//He's going to die?\\
"I just got the call... it's cancer. That's not all Trip." Archer stopped again. Trip turned to face him.
"What else?" he asked.
"He wants to see you... Trip, the Vulcans are bringing him, he'll be here in a day or two."
"What?! No!" Trip yelled. Archer blinked, this had not been the response he had been expecting.
"Look, I know you and he don't really get on..." Archer started. Trip gave a small laugh and shook his head.
"You have no idea." he muttered. Archer frowned.
"So tell me." he commanded. Trip gave Archer an agonized look then darted for the door...
~End Flashback~
Trip shook his head, still unable to believe what Archer had told him. He looked up at the ceiling. The tears falling down on his face went unnoticed as he traced a pattern with the glass in his chest. He gave a tiny sob then spoke in a child-like voice.
"Is God crying?"
TBC...
Well, we know at last... Poor Trip's getting worse! Anyway thanks to "(well, you didn't leave a name... )" who gave me a hint about where people cut themselves.
Also....
I won't be updating this for about two weeks. Why, I hear you ask? Well, it's really quite simple. I have exams for that period and have to really focus on that.
Sorry!
Sethoz-Chan.
as always, and to "Mlaa" for being kind enough to let me borrow her poem.
The Call Of Steel.
Part 4:- God's Tears
~ The need to break something
The need to destroy
The need to hurt someone.
"The Call of Steel" by Mlaa ~
~ 20 Years Before Enterprise ~
Charlie Tucker lay curled up on his bed fighting back the tears that threatened to engulf him.
"I won't cry... I won't!" he muttered to himself, the fear of another beating like the one yesterday clearly showing in his shaky voice. His room was in darkness, which he found oddly comforting. Unlike others, he knew that the night was his friend and not to be feared.
"Charlie?" The whisper came softly through the air towards him. Charlie froze, but the next second he relaxed, recognizing his mother's voice. She came forward, nearing his bed, her bright blue eyes a startling contrast to her raven hair.
"Charlie, what's wrong?"
"Nothing." he sniffed, turning his back on her.
"Charlie." his mother said, her voice gentle, yet commanding, "tell me." She reached out and cupped Charlie's face with her hand. Charlie turned and faced her, reveling the full blunt of his beating. His mother gave a sharp hiss as she examined his face.It was littered with bruises and a large black eye was forming under his left eye.
"Did he do this?" she asked. There was no need to say who 'he' was, they both knew. The look on her son's face was all the answer Tori Tucker needed. She gave a sad sigh and hugged Charlie.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." she muttered, rocking him back and forth. There was no talk of leaving Charles Tucker II or telling anyone, ever. They both knew that would be suicide.
"M-mom." Charlie sobbed, letting tears fall, despite his best efforts.
"Don't cry Charlie." his mother said, her own eyes getting misty. "That's God's job."
"What do you mean?" Charlie asked, his eyes bright. Tori gave him a sweet, sad smile.
"Every time someone is sad, it makes God sad. Every time someone is hurt or upset, God cries because his children are in pain. That's what rain is." Tori finished. Charlie looked confused.
"But sometimes I'm sad but there's no rain."
"God is everywhere, child. He cries where his tears are most needed." Charlie gave a nod to show he understood, then buried his face in her top. A faint sound came to Tori's ears. She looked around trying to locate the source of the sound. Outside, falling softly was rain. She looked down at her son, painfully aware that he had to grow up much faster than any child should have to, in an effort to survive. Charlie gave a loud sob.
"Shush," his mother whispered, rocking him gently. "Can you hear? God is crying."
~20 Years Later~
Trip blundered out of the Captain's ready room, swaying slightly. He ran towards the lift. Trip panted slightly, feeling hot and cold at the same time.
//It can't be true!\\ Trip thought, his vision temporally out of focus. The lift doors opened with a hiss and Trip stumbled in. As they closed Trip half saw Archer run out of the room. He was saying something but Trip couldn't seem to hear the words. The lift doors closed and Trip sank to the floor, his legs unable to support his weight anymore. On the bridge Archer stared at the closed doors, where a second ago the tortured face of his best friend had stared at him.
"Captain?" Malcolm asked uncertainly. "Do you want someone to go after him?" Malcolm was never destined to know what Archer's reply would have been, for at that moment a blast of some kind hit Enterprise.
"What the hell was that?" Archer roared, all thoughts of Trip pushed out of his head.
"It appeared to be some form of weapons blast!" Malcolm yelled, franticly trying to arm the weapons.
"I can detect a ship off our port bow, Captain." Travis said.
"Hail them, ask them why they are attacking us." Archer commanded. Hoshi nodded, her face grim.
On a lower deck of Enterprise Trip walked, lost in his own thoughts. He hadn't felt the blast hit the ship or heard the calls from Engineering, calling for him. He walked morosely into his quarters, rubbing at his eyes with his fingers, trying to will away the tears. With a sigh he moved over to his mirror ad stared at his reflection. With a yell of pure fury he swung his fist back and punched the mirror, shattering it into tiny pieces. He slid down the wall, his head in his arms, sobbing loudly.
"No..." he said. He raised a tear stained face and gazed out at the stars.
"Is God crying mummy?" he asked in a child-like voice. "Is he crying?" Without thinking about it he grasped a piece of glass and brought down on his arm. Instead of the familiar feeling of escape it usually brought, all he felt was emptiness. He watched the blood slowly soak through his clothes, wondering why he felt nothing.
"You see?" a voice hissed out of the darkness. "You can't even do that properly!" Trip looked into the darkness.
"You're not here." he called uncertainly. "you're not here, Dad." Only the silence answered him. Trip pushed himself up and walked into his main room, still holding the piece of glass. He was holding it so tightly in his fist that blood began to dribble out. He opened his fist and stared at the blood stained chunk of glass. With his un-injured hand he lifted his top, his eyes blank the whole time. With a slight gasp he brought the sharp point down on his chest. The blood came
rushing out and Trip gave the faintest of smiles as the wonderful feelings came rushing to him.
"You think that will solve anything boy?" his dad's voice spoke again. Trip shook his head.
"No... you're not here, so get out of my head!" he muttered, clucking at his blond hair.
"I'm coming... remember what the 'Cap'n' said?" the voice said mockly.
"Shut up!" Trip screamed, his thoughts unwilling going back to the news Archer had told him.
~Flashback~
"Cap'n?" Trip asked. "What is it?"
"Trip..." Archer began. "I've got some news..." he paused and ran his fingers through his hair.
"Okay, Cap'n, you're starting to scare me." Trip joked, trying to ignore the cold feeling that was running through his vains.
"It's about... Trip it's about your dad." Archer blurted out. Trip froze, his back to Archer.
"What about him?" Trip asked coldly, his face a mass of panic. Archer couldn't see that though.
"He's sick." Archer said bluntly. "Trip... they say he's dying..."
"Dying?" Trip said shocked.
//He's going to die?\\
"I just got the call... it's cancer. That's not all Trip." Archer stopped again. Trip turned to face him.
"What else?" he asked.
"He wants to see you... Trip, the Vulcans are bringing him, he'll be here in a day or two."
"What?! No!" Trip yelled. Archer blinked, this had not been the response he had been expecting.
"Look, I know you and he don't really get on..." Archer started. Trip gave a small laugh and shook his head.
"You have no idea." he muttered. Archer frowned.
"So tell me." he commanded. Trip gave Archer an agonized look then darted for the door...
~End Flashback~
Trip shook his head, still unable to believe what Archer had told him. He looked up at the ceiling. The tears falling down on his face went unnoticed as he traced a pattern with the glass in his chest. He gave a tiny sob then spoke in a child-like voice.
"Is God crying?"
TBC...
Well, we know at last... Poor Trip's getting worse! Anyway thanks to "(well, you didn't leave a name... )" who gave me a hint about where people cut themselves.
Also....
I won't be updating this for about two weeks. Why, I hear you ask? Well, it's really quite simple. I have exams for that period and have to really focus on that.
Sorry!
Sethoz-Chan.