Good-bye
By: Merlinda Dragon
The air stirred in the deserted halls of the Ministry of Magic, though there was no one there. It was long after midnight; no one in their right mind would be in the Ministry at this time of night.
That was precisely why Remus was there, hidden under an Invisibility Cloak.
His destination was the Department of Mysteries. He had to go, one last time. He had to let go, had to say good-bye. One last time.
He stopped short when he heard footsteps—or he thought he heard footsteps—holding his breath. When he was sure that the footfalls were nothing more than the pounding of his own heart in his ears, he went on. He paused again outside the Department's door, checking to make sure there was no one there, though he knew there wasn't. Taking a ragged breath, he pulled open the door and walked in, turning and making sure to close the door softly behind him.
He faced the door for a long time, gathering his courage to face the room again. Finally, he straightened to his full height and turned, pulling the cloak off as he did so.
The archway stood, cold and forbidding, on a small dais at the bottom of the pit. Its black veil stirred in an otherworldly breeze, seemingly harmless.
Remus faced the archway in silence for several moments before finally speaking to the Veil, his voice echoing slightly in the empty room. "Well, here I am."
He walked forward, down the stone stairs toward the arch, slowly at first, but with growing confidence until he stood at the base of the dais. "I'm here, Sirius. And I've come to say good-bye."
"I need to let go," he explained, wondering if it was normal to talk to dead friends through the Veil. "I need to move on. I'd mourn for you forever except you probably know the war has gotten worse now." He wondered if he was losing his mind. Even so, he felt better thinking that he was talking to Sirius. "The Order needs me. I can't afford to be distracted. I know you understand."
"It's funny, you know," he said after a while, conversationally. "I always thought I would be the first of us to die. Ironic, isn't it? I should have been the first, but I'm the last. Peter died when he betrayed us. Then James, and now…and now you."
"Why, Sirius?" he asked the archway suddenly. "Why did you have to be the one? Why did it have to be you? Why couldn't it have been me?" He stood silently, facing the arch, almost as if expecting an answer. None came. He listened to the voices on the other side of the veil for a moment before a sudden anger filled him. "Damn it, Sirius, why did you have to die? What are we going to do…what am I going to do, now that you're gone?"
His anger receded almost as suddenly as it had come, and it was only then that he noticed he had at some point climbed the stairs to the archway. Voices murmured on the other side of the fluttering black veil, and for a moment, Remus swore he heard Sirius's barking laughter.
His heart stopped. "Sirius?" he breathed, scarcely daring to believe. "Sirius? Are you really…?" He reached out toward the veil—he couldn't resist. He had to see. As a man possessed he took a step forward. Then another. Then another. "Sirius?" he whispered. He made to grasp the black piece of cloth when a sudden iciness washed over him. He felt sick, dizzy. The skin of his outstretched hand felt uncomfortably tight across his bones. He pulled his hand forcefully back, causing him to stumble, nearly falling down the stairs and landing in a heap on the stone floor.
Remus lay on the cold floor for several long moments, panting heavily, his eyes wide with shock and horror. He should have known better. He did know better. He knew the power of the veil. He allowed his breathing to slow—it was over now, he was alright—and looked up at the veil. "You always had ways of tempting me, Sirius," he said ruefully.
He stood slowly, brushing the dust from his robes absently. "Well," he said, facing the archway again, cautiously. "I guess it's time."
He stood in silence for a moment before taking a deep breath. "Good-bye, Sirius." It didn't seem like enough. There was so much more he wanted to say. "I'll never forget you." "I'll always love you." "You'll always be in my heart."
But none of it seemed appropriate. With a sigh, he climbed the stairs back up to the door. He paused at the top, turning to look back down on the stone archway and its gently waving veil. "Good-bye," he repeated softly. "Good-bye, dearest Padfoot." With that, he threw the Invisibility Cloak over his shoulders, opened the door, and left the Department of Mysteries and the Veil.
This time forever.
~ END ~