We're actually back! I know it's hard to believe! We're both terribly sorry
for the author's note, and we'd like to extend a special apology to
Metajoker and Rowan Obscura. Sorry! We only put it up because we both knew
it was very unlikely for us to be writing for a while. We were in this huge
fight, and plus had no inspiration whatsoever. We STILL have no clue what
we're going to write, but we figure that if we don't write SOMETHING, you,
the reviewers, will either die, or come and murder us whilst we sleep. So,
here goes nothing! Oh, also, let us warn you that we are not responsible
for the insanity of this fanfic, because we are under the influence of
chocolate, comedy theater, and "Cellblock Tango" from Chicago.
~~~
::May 4::
Miaka: ::wakes up to the smell of delicious food:: Breakfast! ::bounces downstairs::
Suboshi: Not for you! ::gives her a bowl of cereal::
Miaka: Hey! Last night you said you'd give me extra food if I didn't do the bear thing!
Suboshi: ::sighs in a long-suffering way:: All right, then, I suppose you can have a little bit of food. ::gives her a slice of bacon::
Miaka: Yay! ::eats it in one bite::
Suboshi: I'm going to the other room now, to do... uh... things. ::coughs::
Miaka: Okay!
::Suboshi shuts the door to the room. Sounds of the Yui plushie saying its "I love you forever, Suboshi!" recording can be heard::
Miaka: ::knocks on the door:: Uh, what are you doing in there, Suboshi? ::scared::
Suboshi: ::pokes his head out:: Did you know the Yui plushie's clothes come off?
Miaka: ::eyes widen:: Never mind. ::shuts the door quickly:: La de da... ::lightbulb lights up over her head:: Wait... It's May 4! ::grins::
~~~
::Some time later, in the other room::
Suboshi: ::daydreaming::
(Suboshi's Daydream Number Two!)
Yui: Oh, Suboshi! I love you! I am not worthy of your greatness! I will never look upon Tamahome again!
Suboshi: Now, now, Yui-sama, you don't need to bow before me... But you can take off your clothes, you know, if you want...
Yui: I'll do anything for you, my love! ::starts stripping::
Tamahome: ::comes in:: Oh, Suboshi! Please forgive me for doing such horrible things! I see now that my brothers and sisters were whiny brats who needed to be killed, and you were doing me such a huge favor! I bow before you! ::bows before him::
Yui: ::sobs:: Oh, I cannot bear to see him! He's so hideous! I can't imagine what made me think I liked him at all!
Suboshi: ::coldly:: Your presence distresses Yui-sama. You may escort yourself to the torture chamber in the dungeon, where you will be dealt with later.
Tamahome: Oh, yes! I must repay you for doing me such a favor! ::goes off to the torture chamber::
Suboshi: ::grinning hentai-ly:: Now, Yui-sama, where were we...?
::In the real world::
Miaka: SUBOOOOOOSHI!!!!
Suboshi: ::wakes up:: What is it, obedient servant... I mean, Miaka?
Miaka: ::sounds embarrassed:: Are you, um... ::coughs:: clothed?
Suboshi: ::blushes:: Uh, gimme a second... ::gets his clothes on::
Miaka: ::comes in:: Okay. I've invited over some company. Is that okay?
Suboshi: ::suspicious:: Who?
Miaka: ::peers: Is that the Yui plushie under the covers?
Suboshi: ::quickly:: No! Of course not! Who did you invite?
Miaka: ::grins:: You'll see...
~~~
::doorbell::
Miaka: ::runs over and opens the door:: HIIIIII!!!
::Nuriko is standing at the door, his hair cut, wearing manly clothes::
Miaka: ::gasps:: Wow! You're really dressed up for this holiday, aren't you?
Suboshi: What? What? What holiday?
Miaka: May 4 is the anniversary of the screening of the first episode where Nuriko wears guy clothes!
Suboshi: ::sighs:: Oh, great. I was wondering what happened to your clothes today. ::looks at Miaka, who is wearing a purple shirt, purple dress, purple stockings, purple socks, purple shoes, and a purple hat::
Miaka: Yay! We all have to celebrate!
Nuriko: I brought you a present, Miaka! Since it's a holiday, and all!
Miaka: Oh, wow! Is it FOOD?
Nuriko: You'll see... ::gives her a package::
Miaka: ::rips it open and finds a lavender teddy bear with darker purple hair and bracelets:: Oh, wow! I love it!
Nuriko: I thought you would!
Miaka: Nuriko... ::hugs it::
Nuriko Bear: Hotohori's mine, so hands off... Miaka...
Miaka: ::looks annoyed:: Hey!
Nuriko: ::giggles::
Miaka: You're supposed to be manly!
Nuriko: Ohohohohoho!! ::whips off manly clothes to reveal skirts and takes off short-hair wig::
Miaka: Nuriko! You're still gay!
Nuriko: ::quoting a line from an episode:: Miaka! You're still stupid!
Miaka: Okay, that's it, inviting you wasn't the greatest idea... ::pushes her... er, HIM out of the house::
Nuriko: Hey! No! Wait! ::door slams::
Suboshi: See? See what happens when you try to do stuff?
Miaka: Shut up, Suboshi.
~~~
::That night::
Miaka: Tamahome...
Tamahome Bear: Miaka...
Miaka: Amiboshi...
Amiboshi Bear: Miaka...
Miaka: Hotohori...
Hotohori Bear: Miaka...
Miaka: ::picks up Nuriko Bear:: ::looks at it:: ::throws it over the side of the bed::
Suboshi: PRAISE SEIRYUU! ::starts chanting a prayer of thanks to Seiryuu::
Miaka: Okay, TIME TO SLEEP! ::turns out the light::
~~~
MONTH OF TORTURE AKUGI:
Miaka: ::sounds embarrassed:: Are you, um... ::coughs:: clothed?
Suboshi: ::blushes:: Uh, gimme a second...
Miaka: ::walks in:: Oh, it doesn't matter, I've seen lots of naked men. Tamahome, Nakago, Tomo, and all those others, you know.
Suboshi: GYAHHHHH!!! ::pulls up the covers on the bed to, er, cover himself::
Miaka: ::pulls off her shirt and starts undressing all the way:: So, Suboshi! Wanna do it?
Suboshi: ::stares:: No! Not with you!
Miaka: Don't worry, I've been pregnant before!
Suboshi: You're insane!
Miaka: ::explains:: See, there was Tamahome, he was pretty good, but then there was Nakago, he was hot, he was good too. Then Tomo was totally excellent, much better than Tamahome. Then there was Tasuki! Oh, he was great. So sweaty, and manly... Ohhhhh, if only we hadn't been interrupted! Then there was... ::continues to describe all the men who raped her in great detail::
::Miaka "magically" changes into Yui::
Miaka/Yui: So, Suboshi. Wanna do it?
Suboshi: ::drools:: Okay! ::blinks:: Wait a second, weren't you just Miaka? ::eyes widen:: T-Tomo?!!!
::Yui "magically" turns into Tomo::
Tomo: Darn it, why does everyone have to be straight in this show?!!!
Suboshi: ::backs away::
~~~
There!
~Mizu-Ryuuseisui Inc. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ (mizu) O----------------------O (ryuuseisui)
~~~
::May 4::
Miaka: ::wakes up to the smell of delicious food:: Breakfast! ::bounces downstairs::
Suboshi: Not for you! ::gives her a bowl of cereal::
Miaka: Hey! Last night you said you'd give me extra food if I didn't do the bear thing!
Suboshi: ::sighs in a long-suffering way:: All right, then, I suppose you can have a little bit of food. ::gives her a slice of bacon::
Miaka: Yay! ::eats it in one bite::
Suboshi: I'm going to the other room now, to do... uh... things. ::coughs::
Miaka: Okay!
::Suboshi shuts the door to the room. Sounds of the Yui plushie saying its "I love you forever, Suboshi!" recording can be heard::
Miaka: ::knocks on the door:: Uh, what are you doing in there, Suboshi? ::scared::
Suboshi: ::pokes his head out:: Did you know the Yui plushie's clothes come off?
Miaka: ::eyes widen:: Never mind. ::shuts the door quickly:: La de da... ::lightbulb lights up over her head:: Wait... It's May 4! ::grins::
~~~
::Some time later, in the other room::
Suboshi: ::daydreaming::
(Suboshi's Daydream Number Two!)
Yui: Oh, Suboshi! I love you! I am not worthy of your greatness! I will never look upon Tamahome again!
Suboshi: Now, now, Yui-sama, you don't need to bow before me... But you can take off your clothes, you know, if you want...
Yui: I'll do anything for you, my love! ::starts stripping::
Tamahome: ::comes in:: Oh, Suboshi! Please forgive me for doing such horrible things! I see now that my brothers and sisters were whiny brats who needed to be killed, and you were doing me such a huge favor! I bow before you! ::bows before him::
Yui: ::sobs:: Oh, I cannot bear to see him! He's so hideous! I can't imagine what made me think I liked him at all!
Suboshi: ::coldly:: Your presence distresses Yui-sama. You may escort yourself to the torture chamber in the dungeon, where you will be dealt with later.
Tamahome: Oh, yes! I must repay you for doing me such a favor! ::goes off to the torture chamber::
Suboshi: ::grinning hentai-ly:: Now, Yui-sama, where were we...?
::In the real world::
Miaka: SUBOOOOOOSHI!!!!
Suboshi: ::wakes up:: What is it, obedient servant... I mean, Miaka?
Miaka: ::sounds embarrassed:: Are you, um... ::coughs:: clothed?
Suboshi: ::blushes:: Uh, gimme a second... ::gets his clothes on::
Miaka: ::comes in:: Okay. I've invited over some company. Is that okay?
Suboshi: ::suspicious:: Who?
Miaka: ::peers: Is that the Yui plushie under the covers?
Suboshi: ::quickly:: No! Of course not! Who did you invite?
Miaka: ::grins:: You'll see...
~~~
::doorbell::
Miaka: ::runs over and opens the door:: HIIIIII!!!
::Nuriko is standing at the door, his hair cut, wearing manly clothes::
Miaka: ::gasps:: Wow! You're really dressed up for this holiday, aren't you?
Suboshi: What? What? What holiday?
Miaka: May 4 is the anniversary of the screening of the first episode where Nuriko wears guy clothes!
Suboshi: ::sighs:: Oh, great. I was wondering what happened to your clothes today. ::looks at Miaka, who is wearing a purple shirt, purple dress, purple stockings, purple socks, purple shoes, and a purple hat::
Miaka: Yay! We all have to celebrate!
Nuriko: I brought you a present, Miaka! Since it's a holiday, and all!
Miaka: Oh, wow! Is it FOOD?
Nuriko: You'll see... ::gives her a package::
Miaka: ::rips it open and finds a lavender teddy bear with darker purple hair and bracelets:: Oh, wow! I love it!
Nuriko: I thought you would!
Miaka: Nuriko... ::hugs it::
Nuriko Bear: Hotohori's mine, so hands off... Miaka...
Miaka: ::looks annoyed:: Hey!
Nuriko: ::giggles::
Miaka: You're supposed to be manly!
Nuriko: Ohohohohoho!! ::whips off manly clothes to reveal skirts and takes off short-hair wig::
Miaka: Nuriko! You're still gay!
Nuriko: ::quoting a line from an episode:: Miaka! You're still stupid!
Miaka: Okay, that's it, inviting you wasn't the greatest idea... ::pushes her... er, HIM out of the house::
Nuriko: Hey! No! Wait! ::door slams::
Suboshi: See? See what happens when you try to do stuff?
Miaka: Shut up, Suboshi.
~~~
::That night::
Miaka: Tamahome...
Tamahome Bear: Miaka...
Miaka: Amiboshi...
Amiboshi Bear: Miaka...
Miaka: Hotohori...
Hotohori Bear: Miaka...
Miaka: ::picks up Nuriko Bear:: ::looks at it:: ::throws it over the side of the bed::
Suboshi: PRAISE SEIRYUU! ::starts chanting a prayer of thanks to Seiryuu::
Miaka: Okay, TIME TO SLEEP! ::turns out the light::
~~~
MONTH OF TORTURE AKUGI:
Miaka: ::sounds embarrassed:: Are you, um... ::coughs:: clothed?
Suboshi: ::blushes:: Uh, gimme a second...
Miaka: ::walks in:: Oh, it doesn't matter, I've seen lots of naked men. Tamahome, Nakago, Tomo, and all those others, you know.
Suboshi: GYAHHHHH!!! ::pulls up the covers on the bed to, er, cover himself::
Miaka: ::pulls off her shirt and starts undressing all the way:: So, Suboshi! Wanna do it?
Suboshi: ::stares:: No! Not with you!
Miaka: Don't worry, I've been pregnant before!
Suboshi: You're insane!
Miaka: ::explains:: See, there was Tamahome, he was pretty good, but then there was Nakago, he was hot, he was good too. Then Tomo was totally excellent, much better than Tamahome. Then there was Tasuki! Oh, he was great. So sweaty, and manly... Ohhhhh, if only we hadn't been interrupted! Then there was... ::continues to describe all the men who raped her in great detail::
::Miaka "magically" changes into Yui::
Miaka/Yui: So, Suboshi. Wanna do it?
Suboshi: ::drools:: Okay! ::blinks:: Wait a second, weren't you just Miaka? ::eyes widen:: T-Tomo?!!!
::Yui "magically" turns into Tomo::
Tomo: Darn it, why does everyone have to be straight in this show?!!!
Suboshi: ::backs away::
~~~
There!
~Mizu-Ryuuseisui Inc. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ (mizu) O----------------------O (ryuuseisui)