Born to the Purple
Chapter 14
Hermione heaved a sigh as Ron wrapped his arm around her while they waited for Nathan's body to be brought over from the medical wing so his family could take it away. He wouldn't be buried in the Rangers' graveyard, like Max had been. Max…she'd found out many things she hadn't known about him after his death. While she knew there was no way to know the complete backgrounds, and the deepest, darkest secrets of all the Rangers she worked with, Hermione had been shocked by how little she actually knew.
First there was Gudrun, who had recently blown them all away by revealing that she had a daughter. It hadn't even been classified information. All Hermione, Ginny or Lilia would have had to do would have been to peek in her medical files, and they would have known. But there hadn't been any reason for them to do that, and since none of them had ever been the ones to give Gudrun her physical, they never found out.
Gudrun's daughter, Maria, would arrive in Concordia in November, so the Icelandic witch had already started to look for a place for her and her daughter to live. She would have liked to move into Nathan and Helga's place, which was now up for sale, but due to its prime location, it was outside her price range. Hermione and Ron could afford their house, which was just across the street, because of their combined income.
Most of the denizens of Concordia were affiliated with one of the fellowships of service, crafts or industry, and thus the fellowships provided their housing. This meant that owning one's own home took considerable resources, and while Gudrun could probably come up with the money by herself, she had to think of her daughter's future too. So Gudrun's only option was to look for a place in the First Tier, but the neighbourhoods in the First Tier tended to be rough.
That hadn't been the biggest shock, however, for the most astounding news that week had been revealed when Matt's family arrived the day before to pick up Nathan.
After hearing, and looking into the details of the story, Hermione had been amazed. Matt had to be one of the most selfless people in the world. Why else would a filthy rich wizard, who could be considered wizarding nobility, want to join the Order of Illumination and take the insane risks that could very well cost him his life?
She'd heard about Byron Kelly, of course, but she had never linked him to the Kelly brothers. The Australian wizarding tycoon, a descendant of the wizarding Kellys from Cork, Ireland, was worth about two billion Galleons. He was the world's largest supplier of plant and animal products for the purpose of magical healing. He also owned the controversial Fire Crab Captive Breeding Compound, where the giant magical tortoises were bred and raised in captivity, only to be killed for their highly prized shells, which some wizards used as cauldrons.
Hermione knew for a fact that cauldrons made from those shells produced better and more powerful restorative potions, but the majority of shells from the creatures that were being bred there were sold to wealthy individuals with no interest in healing. So lots of these creatures were still being killed unnecessarily, just so rich wizards could admire their beautiful new cauldrons. Hermione doubted that the huge donations made by Byron Kelly to protect the Fire Crabs in the wild were even making a dent in the profits made by the sale of his 'legitimate' shells.
Some other things Byron Kelly was known for were the breeding of Hippogriffs and winged horses, and, as Ron so keenly pointed out, the fact that he'd recently purchased the Vratsa Vultures, one of the most successful Quidditch teams in the world. He also owned an Australian Team, the Never-Never Nagah, which were the Australian league's third most successful team, behind the Thundelarra Thunderers and the Woolongong Warriors.
Matt's mother, Lynette Archidiaconus of Caer Sidi, a second-generation Australian witch of British descent, had become heir to the Caer Sidi estate and fortune after Voldemort had wiped out the original British branch of the ancient wizarding family. Even before that had happened, she and her immediate family had already been considerably wealthy themselves.
Hermione remembered catching a brief glimpse of Lynette a few years ago, while she and Ron visited the wizarding museum at Caer Sidi, located in a building adjacent to the castle proper. The place appeared in Arthurian legend, and the Muggles had linked its location to Puffin Island. Being a witch, Hermione knew that the true location was an island invisible to Muggles, but not too far from Puffin Island.
Lynette was an elegant beauty who had to be in her early fifties but, like most witches, didn't look it. Hermione had read about her when she'd been pondering whether or not to go to the Australian Advanced Alchemy Academy, where Lynette was a professor. In the picture, as well as when Hermione had seen her in person, she'd looked a bit like a Muggle hippie. But now she was clad in a pure white dress with hanging sleeves, the misty expression in the picture replaced by one of heartbreak. Her dead son had shared her eye colour, Hermione noticed, as the lady wiped away a tear with her handkerchief, leaning heavily on her husband for support. Her eyes were violet, nearly purple. Those strange eyes were typical of ancient pureblood families, Hermione knew. She remembered the slightly spooky eyes of Mr Ollivander, and Madam Hooch's raptor-like eyes, which looked a bit like Byron Kelly's. Only the Australian's eyes had more of a feline quality to them.
Byron was a colossal man, as massive as Nathan had been, although in his case quite a bit of his mass consisted of fat, which his royal purple robes failed to conceal. Nathan's rugged features and hair colour had clearly come from that side of the family, whereas Matt had his mother's golden hair and good looks. Unlike his wife, his primary emotion seemed to be one of rage, directed at his remaining son. They hadn't spoken, and upon his arrival, Byron had shot his son a withering look with his cat-like eyes, confirming what Matt had been so afraid of.
Hermione was just itching to give him a piece of her mind. It wasn't fair to blame Matt for Nathan's death. Nathan had always felt responsible for his younger twin, and it had been his own choice to join the Order of Illumination with Matt. Apparently he had declined at first when he'd been asked to join, but when Matt said yes, Nathan changed his mind and joined the Order to keep his wild and reckless sibling out of trouble.
Ron must have known what she was thinking, because her gave her hand a warning squeeze. She took a few deep breaths to remove the frustration she was feeling. She succeeded in calming down a little when Lynette let go of her husband's arm and approached them. Her lips quivered as they tried to form a smile. "Forgive me for not introducing myself earlier. I'm Lynette…Matt and…Nathan's mum."
"Ron Weasley," Ron said as he gently shook her hand.
"Hermione Granger," Hermione said, as she in turn introduced herself.
"I've heard so much about you. We all owe you a lot for your efforts against You-Know-Who…I mean, V-Voldemort." She uttered the name with difficulty. "You were friends of Nathan's?"
"I wasn't as close to him as some," Hermione admitted. "Harry…that's Harry Potter, knew him better than I did. I joined the Order a year ago, so I haven't known him as long. But he made a good impression the first time I saw him." She smiled sadly as she remembered how Nathan set Ron straight, when he and Lilia came to inform her of Harry's disappearance.
"Harry Potter," Lynette said thoughtfully. "Matt and Nathan talked about Harry a lot." She smiled ruefully. "I don't imagine my sons talked about their parents a lot, did they?"
"Well, no…" Hermione blushed. "I was very surprised when I found out. Ordinarily, people with such old bloodlines like to remind people of it every chance they get," she said, unable to prevent a scowl as Malfoy crossed her mind.
"We're not all snobs, Miss Granger." Lynette smiled briefly. "When we raised the boys, we actually specifically taught them not to draw attention to their heritage. Someone kidnapped them when they were three, just before You-Kn…Voldemort, lost his power. Thankfully the kidnapper was an opportunistic amateur who had nothing to do with Voldemort, and we found the boys quickly enough. But that still gave us quite a fright. In fact, to further confuse potential evildoers, we raised our boys to be convincing Muggles. They grew up with toy broomsticks, but they also watched Saturday morning cartoons on television."
Lynette's eyes filled up with tears again as she looked at Matt. "Nathan could put on a decent show after a few years, but Matt took to it like a fish to water…within months, he became indistinguishable from Muggle children. Matt is a really fast learner. I'm not speaking badly of Nathan, but Matt simply has more talent, when it comes to…well, anything. But he lacks the self-discipline and work ethic Nathan had. He likes to think on his feet instead. He gets that from me. Before I met Byron, I didn't really have a sense of purpose. He pushed me to develop my alchemy skills.
"Unfortunately, Nathan's effort to make Matt work harder and achieve his full potential failed, because Matt's incredibly stubborn…he gets that from his father. I guess it makes for the wrong combination." The woman sighed. "He's so much like his father in that regard. That's why they've always clashed. It only got worse as Matt grew older. One time, we really had to take drastic measures to protect him from himself. I…I had hoped that this…Nathan's death, would have brought them closer together. But just the opposite happened."
"But you don't blame Matt!" Ron said.
"The boys both knew about the risks. Nathan…he sat me down and tried to reassure me the night before they left. Matt said it was all nonsense, and that they'd survive everything evil could throw at them. I know Nathan's death made him realise his mistake. I just wish there could have been another way for him to realise it." Lynette sniffed.
"Ron cleared his throat. "Err, Mrs Kelly, can I ask you a question about Matt? I mean, I've worked with him for a while, and I noticed that he knew an awful lot about Muggles. But from his eyes I could tell that he wasn't Muggle-born. Err, I've seen lots of wizarding eyes, but none quite like that before, and—"
"You'd like to know how he gets them?" Lynette said, as she caught on.
Hermione had wanted to kick Ron in the shins for being so insensitive and asking those questions at a moment like this, but Lynette almost managed to smile indulgently at Ron's curiosity. "Well, he gets it from Byron's side of the family, as you can see…" She gestured towards her husband. "One of his ancestors married an aboriginal witch, whose grandmother had been one of the last cat people."
Hermione nodded. The cat people were mentioned in aboriginal wizarding history as well as aboriginal Muggle mythology. The wizarding world was still trying to work out how these beings had disappeared, and where they had disappeared to. "But wouldn't the Muggles notice his eyes?"
"Oh, he was born with blue eyes, but they changed when he was nearly nine. My mother-in-law told me that's how it seems to go. After he was nine, we just cast a cosmetic charm on his eyes before he mingled with Muggles. So that's how…" Lynette trailed off as her eyes narrowed, prompting Hermione to look in the direction Lynette was staring.
Gudrun had emerged from the passageway that led down into the hill on which the Citadel had been built, and she was talking to Matt. Lynette's look must have been a reaction to Gudrun's behaviour towards her son. The Icelandic witch cupped Matt's face with one hand and stroke his cheek with the other while she spoke soothingly to him.
"Who is that woman?" Lynette asked, looking Gudrun over critically. "Are she and Matt an item? A bit old for him, isn't she?"
"Nah, Gudrun's not that old…thirty, I think. And she and Matt aren't together. She just—" He stopped as Hermione squeezed his hand hard, signalling him to shut up.
Hermione wanted to kick Ron in the shins again, this time for his stupidity. But she knew that Ron was just being Ron, and completely oblivious to the fact that Lynette was displaying motherly over-protectiveness. Unlike Ron, who still had a bit of trouble in that area, Hermione had immediately picked up on the subtle shift in Matt and Gudrun's relationship after Nathan's death. She didn't know what to make of the change, though.
After some digging in the Rangers' history, she had concluded that relationships between Rangers had always been a quite common occurrence. While it was officially discouraged for practical reasons, namely the death of one Ranger sometimes indefinitely crippling the partner emotionally, the commanding officers had always known that ultimately they couldn't stand in the way. That didn't mean that all relationships between Rangers worked out. Hermione didn't count herself and Ron, and Harry and Ginny, in Serafina Esposito's unofficial gossip statistics. They had known each other and fallen in love before joining the Order of Illumination, so they wouldn't be an accurate representation. But according to the gossip statistics, for every relation ship that did work out, there were two to three that didn't. And this didn't include the relationships that were ended abruptly due to the untimely death of one of the partners.
The interview with the Citadel's gossip queen had also yielded lots of information Hermione had been previously unaware of. About ten years ago, Valentina Malkova from Intel Field Ops, and Pavel Kozminski, from the medical division had been an item for about a year, before a rather messy break up ensued. The New Zealander, Timothy Flyte, one of the Rangers in the small and under-appreciated Administrative Division, had dated Emily Yang, from Hong Kong for nearly two years. They had parted amicably. Captain Kovalenko had been romantically involved with a Swedish Ranger for five years. Allegedly, her dumping him had left him so distraught that he got killed in his very next mission. According to Serafina, Captain Kovalenko still felt guilty about that.
Serafina had given her another dozen examples she couldn't remember at the time, but they had been enough to give her an insight into romances between Rangers. Weathering certain negative situations together, like being brushed closely by death, often made people want to counteract it with something positive.
She was pretty sure that for a large part, what Gudrun was feeling came from the downside of an emotional surge she had experienced during their mission. Matt had saved her life, and now Gudrun had feelings for him.
Hermione had discussed this with Galatea before. Such an experience wasn't enough to base a relationship on. It had worked out between Max and Galatea, because Galatea had been a much-needed source of stability and love for Max, while she was content to let him take charge and simply worship the ground he walked on. For his part, Max had worshipped Galatea in his own quiet way.
It was no secret that Matt had shown interest in Gudrun ever since he joined the Order, annoying and amusing her with his playful attempts at seduction. And while Gudrun had always flirted right back, she'd never actually shown this much interest in Matt before. Gudrun had a crush…and Lynette must have seen it right away.
Lynette looked her Hermione questioningly. "Matt is interested in her too, isn't he?"
Hermione tried not to squirm under her discerning stare. "Uh, well, he certainly seemed to have some interest, but I wouldn't know for sure, Mrs Kelly. I don't think I'm the one you ought to ask."
The older woman bowed her head apologetically. "No, you're not. I'm sorry. I know that must have made you very uncomfortable. Either way, I can't say I'm surprised. She's just the type. She bears a several of similarities to lots of his ex-girlfriends."
"I don't blame you for asking, Mrs Kelly." Ron said, "My mum does it all the time…obsessive about it, she is. But I reckon I'll want to know who my children are going out with, when I'm a dad."
Hermione stiffened under his arm. Would she ever be a mother? She and Ron had been trying ever since she'd told him about her problems. She'd immediately reversed the charm that day. But any healthy woman would already be pregnant, given the fact that a Weasley was trying to father the child. "Sorry, you'll have to excuse me."
She wiped a stray tear from his face and rushed out of the Entrance Hall.
*
Ginny wished Harry wouldn't shut her out like that. He'd barely said a word to her since he'd come back from that dreadful mission. However, no words were needed for her to know how he felt. Even though he hadn't replied to her, she thought she'd made a compelling argument that proved it wasn't his fault that Nathan was dead. But he could be such a dense and stubborn prat sometimes…
She knew it was very selfish of her to see things this way, but the timing of Nathan's death had been terrible. In the days after Wolfe's death, she and Harry had grown closer than ever. She'd been ready to give herself to him, to make love to him. She'd been working out the details when she heard about Nathan's death. Harry had completely withdrawn into himself after that. Destiny had seen fit to undo all that she and Harry had achieved. Why couldn't Harry just get some more time to recover from these emotional blows?
Up ahead, Captain Faust was talking to Mr Kelly, while Matt remained far away from them, looking hopelessly lost. Gudrun held his right hand in both of hers, gently caressing it as she talked to him incessantly. She'd been with him almost twenty-four hours a day since he'd returned. Ginny had tried to pry the reason for her behaviour from Harry by asking him what had happened, but in the end she'd had to hear it from Doc, which irritated her infinitely.
If anyone had asked her a few months ago whether there was anything, anything at all, that she hated about Harry Potter, her answer would have been no. But it looked like this was part of him that she could definitely do without. She felt awful every time he went to pieces like this, because it hurt her to see him in pain. But he was making himself suffer needlessly, and he wouldn't listen to her! That was what bothered her the most.
Harry had told her about Gudrun's confession, however, so she'd been prepared when Gudrun made the announcement that she had a child. That too seemed to be consuming his thoughts lately. Maybe he was disappointed with Gudrun for not taking care of her daughter. Ginny didn't know enough about Gudrun's reasons to leave her child in her mother's care.
She hadn't been able to ask Gudrun about it, since she'd spent all her time with Matt, whereas Ginny had been preoccupied with Harry. And Harry himself had been very vague about Gudrun's reasons for abandoning her daughter. He'd muttered something about 'sense of responsibility,' but hadn't talked about it any more than that. Maybe the fact that Harry had never known his parents was part of it. Maybe he disapproved of Gudrun's decision because it meant that she chose not to get to know her daughter.
She scanned the Entrance Hall once more, looking for Ron and Hermione, who were supposed to be there. She just caught sight of Hermione hurrying away. She looked upset, and Ron went after her in a hurry. Ginny shook her head. What had that prat done wrong now?
"Weasley?" Captain Faust asked, noticing her approach.
"Sir…Helga and Lieutenant Montoya…" How should she say this? Were they bringing Nathan? Were they escorting the remains? How could she put this delicately, in the presence of Mr and Mrs Kelly? "The escorts are on their way."
"Thank you, Ranger Weasley." Captain Faust nodded. "That will be all."
Ginny didn't step away, however. She looked at Mr Kelly, but his gaze was so intimidating that she settled on Mrs Kelly instead. She was as tall as Galatea and every bit as fair, though her beauty wasn't of the Veela kind. Golden waves cascaded down her back, and a thin silver wreath with a sparkling emerald in the middle rested on her brow. She looked very queenly indeed, making Ginny suddenly feel like a commoner. "Mr and Mrs Kelly, I didn't know Nathan really well. I knew him well enough to know that he was a really good person, and I have a great sense of loss too. Everyone who knew him, even a little, feel it. But I can't imagine how this feels to you. No parent should outlive their child." She took a deep breath before continuing, "I just want you to know that you have my profound sympathy."
Mrs Kelly smiled benignly, her eyes meeting Ginny's, who could have sworn that she had seen starlight reflected in the nearly purple eyes. But they were indoors… it was impossible. "Thank you. And what is your name, dear?"
Ginny blushed and lowered her gaze. "Ginny Weasley."
"You're Ron's sister, aren't you? I just spoke to him, and his fiancée." Mrs Kelly stepped forward and placed her hand on Ginny's shoulder, which drew Ginny's attention to a ring that just had to contain some magic. It glittered like polished gold overlaid with silver light, and the white stone in it twinkled as if Sirius, the brightest star in the sky, had come down to rest upon her hand. "Thank you for your kind words, Ginny Weasley. I'm glad that Nathan made a good impression on his fellow Rangers."
Loud sniffles heralded Helga's arrival, as she and Lieutenant Montoya, and to Ginny's surprise, Harry, escorted the floating casket into the great hall. The Rangers who had been passing through the hall, all stopped and saluted, holding the gesture for ten seconds or so, before going on their way again. Others, like Docmor and Rashid Farouk, lingered near the portal through which Nathan, Helga and his family would be leaving.
"I have informed Chief Garibaldi of your situation, and you'll be able to transit to your destinations immediately," Captain Faust said, and with a slight bow, he left for the archway that led to the upper floor of the Citadel.
Then, Harry cleared his throat and stepped forward. "Mr and Mrs Kelly. I considered Nathan my friend. If there is anything I can do—"
"We will manage," Mrs Kelly interrupted him. "You've done quite enough for all of us, Harry Potter. It isn't your place to shoulder the responsibility for all the evil in this world." Harry was visibly taken aback by her words, but she continued unperturbed. "Nathan wrote to me how you always feel responsible. Please, let it go, so my son can rest in peace."
Harry looked at the floor. "Yes, Mrs Kelly."
Mrs Kelly smiled sadly. She hadn't believed Harry's answer, but, to Ginny's regret, she didn't press the issue. She just took Helga's hand and stepped through the portal with her. Lieutenant Montoya, who'd go as far as the portal terminal, followed with Nathan's casket. Farouk and Doc saluted as the casket drifted past them, and went on their way as well.
Mr Kelly looked at Matt. "I won't beat around the bush, Matt. We both know why Nathan is dead. I'll suffer your presence if you insist on coming, but know that from now on you are dead to me!"
"Mr Kelly!" Gudrun gasped in outrage. "It isn't his fault!"
The man eyed Gudrun disdainfully and smirked at Matt. "Hmmm, another of your Muggle-born diversions, I see." Then he looked at Gudrun with fake sympathy. "Don't take anything he tells you too seriously. You're just the type he goes for. A lot of his ex-girls looked just like you. You're too good to be another notch on his headboard."
"Insult me all you like, but leave her out of it!" Matt hissed, his eyes suddenly ablaze. "I ought to knock out your teeth for that, Father, but Nathan would disapprove."
Mr Kelly narrowed his eyes. "Don't call me Father! I'd have disowned you a long time ago, but your mother won't allow it. Remember…dead!"
"He's your son!" Ginny exploded, unable to control herself any longer. She just ached to hex this man into next week. How could a nice lady like Mrs Kelly have married a heartless git like him?
"I have no son!" Mr Kelly spat, and strode into the portal.
Ginny turned to Harry, whose green eyes were wide with shock. "Why didn't you say anything?"
"He seemed really set on blaming Matt. He wouldn't have believed that it's really my fault."
That was it. Ginny couldn't help herself. She was seeing red, and the redness would only dissipate if she vented it somehow, preferably the most satisfying way possible. She felt like literally slapping some sense into him, and her entire body trembled as she desperately fought to control her urges. She clenched her fists…but realising it was a bad idea since she was struggling not to lash out, she unclenched them, using every bit of her willpower to accomplish that seemingly insurmountable feat.
"You idiot! Everybody tells you it isn't your fault! Even Mrs Kelly, Nathan's mum, said it wasn't your fault! She told you to let it go! Are you so stupid that you think everything is your doing? Didn't it ever cross your mind that if so many people tell you the same thing there might actually be some truth to it? Are you so arrogant that you think you're the master of life and death? Because that, Harry Potter, is what you seem to be implying! Ooh, why am I even bothering? Wait…I remember. I bother because I love you! Arrgh, why won't you let me help you? You weren't supposed to shut me out again, remember?"
Harry looked at her incredulously. Then he shook his head. "You don't understand."
"Then why won't you help me understand?" Ginny screamed. "You can't keep this bottled up inside you!"
"Fine. We'll talk. I'll be in my quarters," Harry said, as he turned on his heel.
"Err… you sure have a unique way of handling things," Gudrun said, after Harry had gone. "Are you sure you got through to him, though?"
"He's agreed to…talk." Ginny paused as she pondered the way Harry had said that word. It seemed like he didn't expect it to yield any results. She then turned to Matt. "Matt, aren't you going to mourn with your family?"
"Yes, you have a right to mourn Nathan too!" Gudrun added vehemently.
Matt shook his head. "I think I'll follow Nathan's example and avoid conflict. I don't want my mum and Helga to suffer while I can mourn elsewhere."
Gudrun grabbed his arm. "Matt, you shouldn't walk away from this!"
"Mind your own business!" Matt snapped as he tried to wrench his arm out of her grasp, but Gudrun held on for dear life and was dragged along with the motion.
"Matt, look at me!" Gudrun gripped Matt's face and forced him to face her. When she was sure that he wouldn't look away, she let him go. "Until I'm sure that you'll be all right, you're stuck with me!"
"Stuck…with…y-you? Njalsdottir…I—" Matt's eyes glazed over and he briefly swayed on his feet as he looked at Gudrun with a glazed expression.
"Oh, not again!" Gudrun said worriedly. "Matt, stay with me!"
Ginny rushed over to support Matt, who seemed to be recovering. "What's wrong with him?"
"I'm just tired," Matt said. "I need to go lie down."
"I'm coming with you!" Gudrun insisted.
"My quarters aren't that far. I'm sure I'll make it!"
"Can it, or I'll have Captain Faust put you under medical observation."
"All right, just shut up about it!" Matt surrendered.
Ginny smiled. With Gudrun pestering him to get better, Matt would be just fine. It was going to take a long time for him to accept the situation, of course. Angelina had once told Ginny that George still suffered from Fred's death. But Angelina had been there for George, and George had been there for Angelina. It had taken Ginny a while to accept Fred's and her father's deaths as well, and during the grieving process there had been times when she'd thought that things would never be all right! And whenever people had tried to tell her otherwise…
As that thought crossed her mind, Ginny realised that she'd been completely unfair to Harry. He wouldn't just stop feeling guilty just because she told him to, just as she'd often put on a happy face to get all those people who had tried to tell her the same thing to leave her alone. She had made him promise not to shut her out anymore, but back then she'd naïvely assumed that no one else was going to die.
She'd had a happy childhood, mostly thanks to the Potter family's sacrifice. And while she'd led a happy life, dreaming of the boy-who-lived, Harry had constantly been told he was an unnatural freak and made to live in a cupboard. He would likely struggle with this for the rest of his life, which meant that it would take him even longer than anyone else to get over something like a comrade's death.
To make matters worse, Voldemort had often made Harry feel as if the entire war with all the death and misery revolved around him. She suppressed a shudder as she remembered how Voldemort had tortured and executed a bunch of innocent Muggles and wizards, letting some of them survive to proclaim that it all could have been avoided if Harry Potter hadn't decided to stand in his way. On top of that, Harry had been made into the symbol for the forces of good. No wonder he believed he had to carry the whole world on his shoulders.
She'd had no right to vent her frustrations on him because his problems hampered her plans for their future together. If anything, losing control of her temper had only made things worse. She had implied that her frustrations were his fault too.
Ginny hurried out of the Entrance Hall and made her way towards Harry's room. She owed Harry a big apology, and she could only hope that he'd accept it.
*
Ginny knocked three times. Twice seemed too little, but four times would have seemed excessive and pushy. The last thing she wanted to do was drive Harry further away. She heard shuffling on the other side, and the door opened, revealing Aberforth Dumbledore. "Aberforth? What are you doing here?"
"I came here for the same reason you came here, I imagine…moral support. Although I wasn't planning on hugging and kissing him," the old wizard joked.
Ginny blushed. "Right."
"Harry's not here. He just came by to pick up his invisibility cloak. He said you might be coming over, but I think he wanted to be alone. Would you like to come in?"
Ginny nodded and entered Harry's room. Aberforth had barely closed the door behind her when she could no longer contain herself. "Oh, Aberforth. I've done something terrible. I—"
"Told Harry off for feeling guilty?" Aberforth finished.
"He told you?" Ginny asked, feeling more miserable by the second.
"He didn't have to. I could see the frustration build up inside you these last few days. I knew it was just a matter of time before you'd blow up!"
Ginny looked at him, first in disbelief, then with mounting anger. "So why didn't—"
"I stop you?"
"Stop doing that!"
Aberforth chuckled. "Answer me this, and be honest. Would you have listened to me if I'd told you to let Harry sort this out at his own pace?"
Ginny blushed with embarrassment. "I guess not."
"But you've worked it out now, haven't you?"
Ginny nodded.
"Good! You're a wiser person because of it. Besides, you're angry because you care. That's not a bad thing."
Ginny sat on Harry's bed. "Aberforth…I love Harry. I worry about him. He always blames himself for everything. And I can't honestly say that I trust him to work this out on his own."
"Neither can I, to tell you the truth. But I know there is nothing I can do to make him see the error in his thinking."
"So he might sink deeper into depression?" Ginny asked worriedly.
Aberforth lit his pipe and puffed a few times before he shrugged. "Possibly."
Ginny took a few deep breaths, determined not to let her temper get her in trouble again. How could Aberforth be so indifferent? "And we sit by and do nothing?"
"If you can help others, do it. But if you can't, restrain yourself and at least don't harm anyone. The Dalai Lama said that, and Hippocrates said the same thing. To do nothing is sometimes a good remedy.
"I know you've suffered directly at the hands of Voldemort as well, and you may think this gives you a better insight into Harry's feelings than most. I think you do, but no attempts to convince him will help him throw off this depression. That's something Harry has to do himself. When the itch is inside the boot, scratching outside provides little consolation."
"So I just have to stand by and watch him waste away?"
"I hope it won't quite come to that, but yes, you'll have to stand aside. Harry loves you, and you brighten up his life, but sometimes it has to get really dark to be able to see the stars. No…I'm not saying Harry's continued depression is your fault," Aberforth said, just as Ginny had been about to protest. "Just that he may need some time alone right now."
"I know that pain is inevitable. But whether you suffer, and how long, largely comes down to your own choice. You can't prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair," Ginny argued, throwing in a proverb she'd learned from her grandmother. "I just want Harry to see that." She sighed.
"As do I. But he has to realise that on his own."
"I know!" Ginny groaned. "I know we have the benefit of an outsider's vantage point while Harry is trapped in the middle of his feelings. I realised that after I told him off. I just can't bear to see him suffer. And I can't stay away from him. He'll think I've abandoned him!"
"Well, maybe there is something you can do, as long as you don't really intrude on his feelings."
"Anything!" Ginny replied eagerly.
"Just be there for him. Hug him. Remind him why you love him, and tell him that you'll love him no matter what. Be his lifeline."
Ginny frowned, momentarily confused. "But you said that would get in the way of the healing process. What of all that talk about needing darkness to see the stars?"
"You can hold someone's hand in the darkness, can't you?" Aberforth's eyes twinkled mischievously. "I know it looks like I'm contradicting myself…wait…I'll put it differently. You can spend time with him, but you can't bring up his feelings verbally. That's what I meant about not intruding on his feelings."
"I see." Ginny nodded slowly, as she understood what Aberforth had said, and decided to take his advice. At least it would undo the damage she may have done earlier.
***
Casual Reader: You're absolutely right. I did add the love letter bit to make Nathan's death hurt more. What can I say? I'm evil.
BigDaddy: Thank you for the honour of adding me to your favourites list. As for the reason of Nathan's death: Being a Ranger is dangerous business. Some of them will inevitably die. I'd have killed Wolfe too, but he has to serve a grander purpose…for now.
Gogirl: I understand your paranoia, but yes, Nathan will stay dead. I don't see how I could bring him back anyway. Harry's too sad to think straight, and the bad guys are torturing Wolfe.
Maverick Davis: * evil cackle
nycgal: They won't find out about Wolfe for a while.
pudadingding: Actually, I considered using the tossing bit, but I thought that would be taking the references a bit too far. I was just having a bit of fun with the LoTR moments, not trying to do a crossover of sorts. And what do you mean gay moment? Gay as in 'happy', or gay? Because frankly, I didn't preceive any of gay vibes people so often claim to notice between Frodo and Sam. ;-) As for the sword: It's a slaying weapon, and as such limited to an offensive role. Giving it too much power and capabilities would take away ant challenge the opponents could offer.
SiriDragon: Yeah, I used the speech for two reason. First and foremost to put Ron in the 'best friend' spotlight again. I felt like I've been neglecting him a little. Secondly, I used it for the literal contents. NO matter how dire things seem right now, in the story, it'll all work out in the end.
The Millenium One: I wasn't thinking about the Balrog when I wrote the troll. I guess your interpretation comes from the overall LoTR atmosphere in the chapter :-)
Temporary Insanity: More evil than Rusky…Oh, thank you, that's the nicest compliment! The image of the Draconian was indeed borrowed from Escaflowne, but the pendants weren't. And finally: Gotta love ambiguous answers!
A-Potter-Person: The stair surfing was cool, wasn't it?
the.grey.lady: Ginny deserves Harry too. People make mistakes, and Ginny's wrestling with her insecurities. And NO…Nathan will not come back, although I understand your paranoia on the subject. :-) Anyway, what makes you think Wolfe will be rescued? Haven't I just proven that none of my characters are sacred?
sherman: The ages vary. Matt is Fred and George's age, Wolfe is in between Percy and Fred and George. Galatea is Percy's age. Gudrun is ten years older than Ginny. Doc is in his early thirties. Does that give you an idea?
Alina: I can't tell you exactly how long it'll be. I'm just hoping I'll beat the OoTP release date.
Petals: So many questions. 1) Harry will feel guilty whether or not he was there at the time of death. 2) I'm not sure if a relationship between Matt and Gudrun would work out in the long run. Matt's twenty-three and a half at this point in the story, and Gudrun's thirty and a half. They're both Gemini... 3) I haven't got Gudrun's daughter planned in 14, though we might see her in 15, as well as Wolfe.
Lamina Court: I've seen the movie five times, but that bit is in the books too. And no, no more bringing people from the dead.
Philip: It's okay, I guess. Though I think the books are a tad long-winded. At times I found myself struggling to read on.
Zaz: Actually, I wasn't even thinking about it in that context. But now that you mention it, yeah! :-)
Rowan: There's nothing morbid about being curious. Anyway, I'll give you a hint. I'd have been in the same year as Harry, if the 'Nearly Headless Nick deathday theory' were applied. The zombie bit was kind of cheesy, wasn't it? Zombies each sold separately, animation spells not included.
Nosgoroth: Well, what a coincedence!
bubblez fairy: There can never be too much LoTR.