Disclaimers: Gravitation still doesn't belong to me. If any of you would like to pull together and give it to me, I'd be ecstatic!
Notes: I've had this chapter stuck in my head forever but I had to get chapter 9 out first! Oh well, now I can finally write it! Told from Shuichi's POV.
Don't worry, it's short…
~*The Bible of Kumagoro—Getting Closer to Your God*~
I woke up slowly, blinking in the darkness. I could feel Yuki's arms wrapped around me, and I knew I must have had another nightmare. I don't normally remember them, but Yuki always sleeps with me when I have them. It's comforting, to know that he's always right there for me, trying to protect me from them. He said he wouldn't dare wake me up, no matter how bad it was, because he thought bad things needed a resolution, or it would haunt me longer.
I turned onto my side and curled up against him, and I felt his arms tighten around me. He was awake, I was aware of that, but we never spoke. There wasn't really anything to say. We both knew that I'd been having some sort of nightmare, and I didn't know what it was any more than he did. I did remember one nightmare of mine very clearly, though.
I'd had it the day before I got sick, and it was the only time I woke up without Yuki there. It was that night…with Aizawa. I was watching it, watching myself from the outside of the scene. Yuki didn't think I'd seen the pictures, but I had. I'd found them while trying to retrieve my watch from the trash one day. I know exactly how pitiful I looked at each moment.
At first it was just a reenactment, but then Aizawa's voice changed and the next time I blinked it was Yuki. The same script, the same movements, different actor. I couldn't take it anymore, so I closed my eyes and screamed, clutching at my head. Two other people screamed with me. Shuichi, and someone else behind me.
I turned around quickly and opened my eyes, not knowing what to find. Looking behind me and I was met with the exact same scene I'd been staring at before. Except, the actors had been changed yet again.
Yuki was playing the role of myself, pinned to the ground by those two while the other one bent over him and ran fingers through his hair, licking at his ear. Aizawa was that damn teacher of his, arms crossed as he smiled satisfactorily at the scene. I tried to reach out and help him, but I couldn't reach either scene. It was like I was watching them both through glass walls, and I couldn't do anything to stop it. It was the same damn thing on both sides of me, only when I screamed Yuki screamed with me, and Kitazawa did all the laughing, Yuki's voice echoing with it. I woke up when they let us go. I knew the end already.
I was shaking so badly when I woke up afterwards but I was so afraid. I just couldn't stay alone in the living room. I couldn't get rid of the fear that kept on telling me that there was a reason for my dream. That maybe it was to show that Yuki had left me again, or was going to betray me. All I knew was that I needed comfort. I ran into Yuki's room, who immediately sat up to see what was wrong, and collapsed against him.
That was the first time I remember crying over one of those damn nightmares. Yuki just held me then and ran his fingers through my hair as he rocked me softly. He could be so sweet and gentle when he wanted to be. Even when his words were so harsh and cutting, whenever he touched me or held me he was always so gentle and caring. I could even hear sweetness in some of the things he said to me. I could feel his cheek against the top of my head as I cried, and he just continued to comfort me. I remember crying myself to sleep that night.
"Shuichi." I blinked as Yuki spoke. He normally didn't dare, but neither did I. It was always so much more comfortable when it was quiet. We could pretend nothing was wrong, and I didn't have to think about anything. Even though I didn't remember what I'd been dreaming about, they still wore me down. I didn't like thinking much afterwards.
"Hm?" I pushed myself closer to him and closed my eyes again, waiting for him to finish what it was he wanted to say. There was no use ruining the moment with unnecessary words. I felt his hold on me tighten a little bit and I curled my fingers around his shirt.
"I'm sorry." My eyes opened quickly at that and I let go of him, pushing away to stare at him. He immediately turned so that he was lying on his back and looking the other way. I moved over to where I could see him, crawling over him so he wouldn't have a chance to roll away and avoid me. He looked so sad, and he still wouldn't look at me.
"Why?" He glanced over at me and slowly reached a hand up to my cheek.
"A lot of things." I smiled and covered his hand with one of my own. Yuki was only sweet and caring like this at night, and there was almost always a reason behind it, but I enjoyed it. True, I know Yuki was depressed and sorry because of something important, but I couldn't help but enjoy the soft touches and kind words he offered me. It was what I dreamed of.
"That's alright. I'm fine, just so long as you care about me." Yuki finally looked at me and I flashed him my best comforting smile, lying back down on top of him. I both heard and felt him sigh as he ran fingers through my hair, holding me again.
"I don't understand you."
"Don't worry about it, no one does. That doesn't matter." We were quiet after that, and things were comfortable again. "Love you," was my last conscious thought before I fell back asleep, and somewhere in my subconscious I felt Yuki hold me tighter. I don't think I had any more nightmares after that.
However, it couldn't have been long before I was woken up again. Or maybe it was, I couldn't tell. Whichever way, I was still damn tired.
"Where are you going?" I asked as he tried to move me in my sleep, still at that point where my brain wasn't quite functioning properly. Hovering between sleep and consciousness. I was still harboring the faint hope that Yuki would just forget it and go back to sleep.
"To work." I sighed and was about ready to ask for him to wait for me when I was dumped back onto the bed and ordered to sleep. Needless to say, I was awake by that point.
"I'm supposed to sleep after that?" I asked as I sat up, rubbing my eyes and searching for the clock. Damn. Only 4 AM. Why the hell was he up and writing so early anyway? "You're so cruel sometimes, Yuki." He didn't pay any attention to me as he dressed. I could barely see him in the dark, but I could hear him well enough.
"Go back to sleep. I don't need you disturbing me so early in the morning." I pouted and dragged myself over to the edge of his bed, glaring at him as best I could in the dark. I doubt he could see me, but that didn't matter.
"You're the one that woke ME up, remember?" I whined, noting dully that he was moving back towards the bed. Maybe he'd give up on the idea of work now. I screamed as I felt him press me back against the bed, throwing the covers over me dismissively.
"Sleep," he demanded one last time before leaving. I smiled happily to myself and lay there enjoying the warmth for a while before crawling out of his bed and wandering outside. I grabbed myself something quick to eat and made my way into his office to bug him. I know that's why he wanted me to sleep. He was probably doing something really embarrassing he didn't want me to know about. Normally I would have gone back to sleep and let him work, but lately I'd grown quite curious as to what he was doing. He hadn't let me in there when he was working for such a LONG time now.
"I should have known you wouldn't stay in there," he offered offhandedly as I sat down next to him, blanket draped over my shoulders. Yuki kept it fairly cold in his house, and it felt even colder after just waking up. Therefore, I was often seen carrying around blankets for a while after waking up.
"Of course not!" I cheered happily. Yuki seemed aggravated, but I didn't care. I was damn tired at the moment, too. However, I didn't want to leave Yuki by himself to work so early. I didn't like working alone in the dark, it made me so edgy sometimes. I was sure Yuki didn't feel the same way, but I enjoyed his company either way. It was just a really good excuse to follow him in there. I hoped he enjoyed my company, too.
"So…what'cha workin' on?" I asked after a couple minutes of silence. Well, almost silence. I could still hear Yuki's keyboard as he worked. It was a somewhat aggravating sound, but at least it kept it from being quiet.
"A book, stupid." No shit. Not even I was that stupid. I smiled like the idiot I was and got up to read it over his shoulder.
"What's it about?" I asked happily, leaning over slightly to read the words. He immediately slammed the top of his laptop down and I had to try so hard not to laugh. Aw, poor Yuki was ashamed of something he wrote. "Tell me," I whined and Yuki looked just about ready to throw me out. He knew I'd stop soon…I hoped. Otherwise I'd probably get locked out again.
"It's about an idiot that pissed their lover off SO much one day that he was forced to leave and never return again. Get the hint?" I pouted and tore off a corner of my pop tart, handing it to him as I sat down.
"Geeze. Fine then, be mean. I brought you something to eat, since I know you won't grab anything later," I offered as he took the peace offering between his teeth, still preoccupied with typing. He was like such a little kid sometimes, it was cute. I don't think he realized he was doing it, or I was sure he'd stop himself.
"Thanks, now go back to sleep," he demanded as soon as a hand was free to break off the remaining section of pop tart from his mouth.
"Aw. I don't get to feed Yuki the rest of it?" I pouted and Yuki glared at me, taking my food away before I could even grab one for myself.
"Don't push it. Sleep." I pouted and left, partially closing the door behind me with my foot. He was so MEAN sometimes, but that was okay. He'd been so nice earlier; I couldn't stay mad at him for long.
"Oh, and in case you were wondering, my sister's name is Maiko, not Miki," I pointed out as I peered my head around the doorway, smiling evilly. He turned and glared at me for all he was worth and I just smiled at him, waving goodbye before closing the door and making my way over to the couch, collapsing immediately and burying myself under the blanket I'd been carrying. I buried my face in my pillow and closed my eyes, thankful for the opportunity to go back to sleep.
I didn't like to sleep in Yuki's bedroom without Yuki being there with me. It felt too much like I was intruding on his personal space. When he was there it was all right, because he was keeping me close to him anyway, and I couldn't really call that intruding. I did it sometimes when he was gone, but I was always off before he came home. It made me feel less alone.
"I knew her name was Maiko, idiot." I smiled to myself even from where my face was buried in the pillow as I heard Yuki's comment, felt him pull the blanket to cover me more, and heard the sound of him putting something on the table. As soon as I heard his office door shut again I opened my eyes to see what it was, and smiled when I caught sight of my pop tart sitting in the wrapper on the edge of the table. It was nice to know he hadn't forgotten about me.
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Yes, it was short, oh well. It's good enough for me. I think…I dunno. Oh well, more YukixShuichi fluff for you all! Guess what that means? Yep! More Tatsuha! Not to say it's going to be anything spectacular, but it's a step in the right direction, getting to one of their point of views, right?
*Swallows dignity* I WANT REVIEWS! Please be nice and give me some, they are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO motivational. They just make me want to write faster and faster and make more and more GOOD things happen in my ficcy!