Disclaimers: Gravitation still does not belong to me but Christmas is getting closer as the days go by…

Notes: Back to YukixShuichi interlude. ^_^ Yuki's point of view this time.

/thoughts/

~something they're reading~

~*The Bible of Kumagoro—Getting Closer To Your God*~

            I sighed as I stepped out of my office, standing in the doorway a moment and waiting for my eyes to adjust to the bright light in the living room, contrasting to the dull light in my office and the harsh computer screen in my face. I hadn't finished my latest novel yet, but the headache my constant writing had brought on was enough for me to know that I should stop for the day. Shuichi had been quiet almost the whole day so I'd gotten quite a lot done.

            Speaking of which, where was he? He hadn't told me he was leaving, and I was sure he wouldn't be asleep at—I checked the clock quickly—seven fifteen. Sighing again I decided to check for him in the kitchen. While I was there I could always get something for my headache, too. It wasn't a good idea to deal with him when my head hurt like this.

            I blinked a something hit my foot, bending over just in time to stop the glass from falling over and spilling all over the floor. I would have killed if that had happened. I picked up the little note I found sitting next to it, unfolding it carefully. I caught the pills that fell from it as I unfolded it without even trying. I should have been expecting that.

            ~Hey Yuki! I knew curiosity would get the best of you if you saw this! I doubt you'll even be out here in time to see this, but oh well! If you are at least you'll know what's going on. I didn't want to disturb you while you were writing so I decided to go out with a couple of my friends and hang out. I thought it best to leave you a note instead of telling you in person, since that would disturb you. Since you're out here I figured you either wanted painkillers, coffee, or beer, so I left some painkillers here, there's coffee ready to be made, and I went out and restocked the fridge with a little more beer before I left.

            I probably won't be gone too long. Probably just go around with whoever wants to hang out. Probably Hiro or Ryuichi…or both. I'll try to be home by 7:30, but I can't be sure if I can be, you know I'm bad with time. I'll try REALLY hard, though! I'll see you after I get back…I hope!

            *heart* Love,

                        Shindo Shuichi~

            I couldn't help but smile a little at Shuichi's little note. I'd never had someone really care about me like that before, it was nice. However, I knew I didn't do anything like that for him, and it was a painful feeling. Maybe I'd take him out to dinner when he got back if he hadn't already eaten. I hadn't and I was actually hungry now. He WAS bad at keeping track of time, so maybe he would forget to eat. I doubted it, though.

            I took the pills with the water Shuichi left out for me before I walked into my bedroom and shifted through my clothes. I hadn't bothered to pick out anything remotely decent that morning when I'd got dressed, seeing as I knew I wasn't going to be going anywhere. However, Shuichi would throw a fit if I went out in public with him looking like I did. So…plain. He said it was belittling of my good looks. There must be something seriously wrong with him, I swear it. Even his flattery is strange.

            After that was over I went back into the living room and decided I wasn't going to go back to writing today, at all. I didn't feel like dragging my ass back in there today and letting the screen burn away at my eyes some more. So I ended up sitting on the couch waiting for him. Or at least, that's what I told myself. I knew I was waiting for Shuichi because I wanted to, but I didn't want to believe that. Therefore, I made up an excuse for myself in my mind. It kept me a little closer to sane, not admitting everything directly to myself. It was almost 7:30, anyway.

            I should have known he wouldn't be home on time. I barely registered the sound of the door clicking softly behind him around 7:45. I wouldn't have heard it at all if I hadn't been waiting for it. He jumped when he saw me, staring at me for a while before he dared move again.

            "Yuki, I didn't think you'd be done writing already," he offered softly, a smile appearing on his face as he loosened up and started towards the couch and me. "I guess I should say I'm sorry for being late then, huh?"

            "Didn't notice. I was just out here because I didn't feel like writing anymore and since you weren't here there wasn't anything better to do." He smiled a little brighter at that. He wasn't as stupid as we all made him out to be. He picked up on a lot of things without you having to tell him.

            "Okay, then I guess I'll just go back out again. See if I can get Hiro to come with me this time." I glared at him and he laughed softly, sitting down next to me. "I wouldn't."

            "So. Where did you two feel like reeking havoc on today?" Shuichi glared at me form where he was sitting. Amazing, he was almost close to my size when he was sitting down.

            "I didn't do anything stupid this time thank you very much!" he screamed, and I covered his mouth quickly.

            "They don't want to hear it," I snapped harshly, motioning my finger to indicate the rooms next to us. He pouted and looked pathetic so I let him go, leaning back against the couch and relaxing.

            "Sorry…we went to an arcade, mostly. Played a lot of DDR. I wish you had tried it Yuki! It's so much fun!" he cheered happily, his voice softer than it had been a couple seconds ago. I remember that game. I wouldn't go near that thing if my life depended on it. Dancing just…wasn't me. I hadn't even liked it much when I was younger. I felt awkward doing it, and I was insulted enough without having to make myself look like an idiot trying to dance.

            "Did you eat?" Shuichi blinked a couple times before nodding slowly, a genuinely confused look on his face.

            "Why, did you not?" I nodded and he frowned slightly, slumping down in his chair. "Oh. I'm sorry, Yuki." I sighed and reached over to stroke his cheek softly.

            "Come on, I still have to go get something to eat. Come with me?" He smiled brightly and nodded, clinging to my hand happily. I should have known that would make him happy. He could get himself dessert or something while I ate. Or he could always just sit there, his choice. Either way he seemed like he'd be content enough.

            When we finally sat down he was starting to worry me a little, I thought he was going to faint on me or something, he seemed so light-headed. Definitely something wrong with him. Oh well, he seemed happy enough. So, in his moments of bliss, my dinner and his dessert were eaten in near-silence. Only occasionally was the silence broken when Shuichi would mutter something to himself happily or find something he found worthwhile to say…which wasn't very often, surprisingly.

            For some reason, though, he wasn't quite himself on the drive home. I would have thought he'd go on and on about something or other the whole time, but only on the ride home did he even bother to speak to me like he normally did. He was a more energetic on the ride home than he had been on the way there. He'd barely talked on our way out.

            "Yuki, can we go somewhere else?" I glared at him. I'd taken him out to dinner. What more did he want from me? "What? I want to go somewhere else. Somewhere pretty and quite and romantic…"

            "No where's quite when you're around." He pouted at that, crossing his arms and turning to stare back out the window. I sighed and couldn't help but wonder what I did wrong. I took him out for dinner, couldn't he be happy for once? I was seriously trying, and he wasn't making it any easier for me.

            "Why don't you ever say it?" he asked suddenly, still staring out the window. I could see his reflection on the window as we stopped at a light. He looked dazed, staring out the window at nothing in particular, just staring and looking depressed. What the hell was he talking about? "Ah! Don't get me wrong, I'm happy, but…it's kind of unnerving sometimes…I can never be really sure…" I sighed and parked in front of some random pizza place.

            "Shuichi…" He sat up straight and blinked a couple times, as if registering the fact that we'd stopped. After a little bit he turned quickly, hair splaying around his face to land softly where it had been before. I reached out to him slightly and he was immediately in my arms, face buried against my shoulder. We stayed like that for quite a while. He wasn't crying or anything, just hugging me tightly.

            "I just want to hear it once," he whispered softly and I didn't make any move to show that I'd heard him. He should know by now that I wasn't going to say it. I just COULDN'T. I'd given him so much already; I wasn't about to let him know how much he meant to me. That would be giving him so much more power than he already had over me. Well, not really, but he'd be aware of just how much I'd do for him, and he…he could abuse me, just like Sensei had…

            I was so lost in my own thoughts I didn't realize when Shuichi let go of me and sat back up again, staring at me blankly. He shook the look away and smiled slightly. "I'm not expecting to hear you say it now or anything, but…just once, would be nice. Can you promise me that? That just once in our lifetime, you'll say that you love me?" I sighed and nodded, running fingers through my hair and I leaned back to stare at the roof of my car. What had I done to bring that on? Well, now I was bound to that promise. I'd have to live up to it SOMEDAY. "Okay then! Let's go! I still wanna go do something else before we go home!" he cheered happily, good nature restored. Good, I preferred it when he was happy like this. Of course I'd never tell him that, but there were many things I'd never tell Shuichi.

            "Then get out and go do it, I'm going home." Shuichi glared at me as I started the car, buckling his seatbelt again and pouting, crossing his arms and glaring at me the whole way back. He only stopped when we reached the house, parking. He sighed and leaned back in his seat, staring up at the roof. Wasn't that supposed to be my job?

            "I'm not leaving until we go somewhere. I want to spend more time with Yuki." I couldn't help the aggravated sigh as I opened the car door, undoing my seatbelt and glaring at him as I stepped out.

            "Do as you wish. It's either spend time with me inside or hope I get really bored and wait to spend time with me out here. Your choice, brat." Shuichi blinked at me, but undid his seatbelt and stopped me from shutting the door with his hand gently. I could have shut it still, but I might have hurt him. I wasn't willing to do that just to shut my car door.

            "You're not going to go back to writing?" I sighed and rolled my eyes, opening the door wider for him. He blinked a couple times, as if judging me, before stepping out. I closed the door behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist gently. He seemed satisfied enough, smiling back at me happily. "You're not writing?" he asked again and I sighed, letting go of him and making my way to my apartment.

            "Yes, I'm not writing, come on." I heard him run to catch up with me happily, attaching himself to my arm as I tried to open the door, affectively making the key miss the slot in my moment of surprise. I glared at him but he just smiled up at me happily, eyes expectant. I should have known he'd have some sort of plan for tonight. If I was lucky they wouldn't be anything too horrible.

            The second the door was shut behind us Shuichi let go of me, standing up on his tiptoes and kissing me, hands around my neck to keep his balance. There was a definite surprise. I wrapped my own arms around his waist and after what seemed like a blessed eternity he stopped, sliding back down to his own height slowly, a small smile lighting up his face.

            "It's been a while, huh?" I nodded my agreement, pressing him to the floor gently. It wasn't an unusual practice. I didn't tend to like walking after things had already started, anywhere was fine by me. Unfortunately, Shuichi had some restrictions placed on me. No public, no public facilities, no car, no friend's house, no relative's house, anything fun was out of the question.

            Staring down at him I remembered his request from the car. Why the hell wouldn't that leave me alone? Sighing I opened my mouth to say the words. I didn't know why, but I felt like they needed to be said.

            "I…" /need you. Want you. Can't stop thinking about you. Adore you. Worship you./ Shuichi blinked innocently, fidgeting a bit and tucking a piece of hair behind his ear, waiting anxiously. "I…" /love you./ "I'm sorry…I…I can't…say it." Shuichi shook his head and smiled happily. Genuinely, and I couldn't even begin to understand how.

            "I know, but you want to. Maybe one day you can actually say it, though." God, how'd I found someone like him? How could he ever have chosen ME?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

WHEE! I finished! Go me! I rule! I'm so happy! Oh yeah! This only took forever and a day…okay, three days but who's counting…There were a lot of hours put into it each day…I think…Oh well, I got it done, be proud!

Umm…I feel really bad begging begging (like, low-down begging) but anyone who's seen/read Fruits Basket (I've only see the TV series) PLEASE review my FB fic, I actually grew sort of attached to it and I'm kinda mad at it now…

I DUN EVEN KNOW WHY I GREW ATTACHED TO IT!!!!!!!! .