Summary and disclaimer in Prologue
Chapter 4
"Lex! How's it going, oh scion of the Luthor empire?"
"Lucas." Lex closed his eyes and gripped the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger. His headache was no better and he was not in the mood for a chat with an impossibly chirpy younger brother.
"Hmm, I can tell your mood hasn't improved since yesterday. Has Dad done something?"
"Many things. But nothing in particular today. What can I do for you?"
"Bruce and I have done something to cheer you up." Lex felt his heart drop like a stone. He'd often been on the receiving end of a Wayne-patented cheering-up scheme whilst sharing a room with Bruce at boarding school. They were rarely good. Bruce's twisted sense of humor, no doubt an over- compensation for his long periods of carefully guarded despondency and depression, had created some particularly lunatic jokes in the past.
"Oh god Lucas. What have you done?" That seemed to be a side-splittingly funny joke to the voice on the line, as he cracked up into a fit of loud laughter. Lex had to hold the phone away from his ear for a minute until Lucas calmed down.
"He said it, Bruce! He said it just the way you said he would!" Lex could hear shoulder slapping and someone else laughing uproariously in the background. Lucas did a fair approximation of Lex's voice. "Oh god Lucas. What have you done?" This sent the other end of the line into fresh paroxysms of laughter and shoulder slapping. Lex was close to hanging up on him when Lucas finally settled. "I'm sorry Lex. Its just that Bruce said you'd say that and I said you wouldn't, and now I owe him dinner."
"Yes, that is indeed highly amusing. I've been rocking with silent laughter and I think my sides may well require stitches." Lex kept his tone low and even, despite the almighty urge to scream at his brother. "Now, could you please tell me what you've done?"
"Sorry, Lex. Well, we decided it would be fun to take a road trip." Lex groaned inwardly. "And we couldn't decide where to go so we decided to ask you."
"And the catch being?" Like he even needed to ask.
"In person! We'll be arriving in Smallville in about an hour. Surprise!" Lucas finished triumphantly.
"That's all very well and good Lucas, but didn't I tell you not to come to Smallville?" Lex asked patiently, annoyance at his feckless brother concealed beneath the smooth tone.
"No, you told me to stay with Bruce. And I did." Lucas spoke slowly and clearly, as if explaining something obvious to a backward child. "Besides, we can stay at the mansion and no-one will even know I'm there."
"And that would be fine except that I'm in Metropolis. I'm not getting back until tomorrow."
"That's ok. We can stay a while, can't we, Bruce?" A muffled ascent indicated Bruce's compliance. "He says we can."
"That's very kind of him, but there's another problem. Our father swept in for a surprise visit this morning, and has settled in for tonight at least. So there's no way you can stay at the mansion. Unless you want to get yourself killed, of course. I don't know what it is with my family and not arranging these things in advance." He felt a tiny flicker of pleasure at that, although he knew Lucas hadn't meant to be annoying. Nonetheless he had been, and there was some mean spirited enjoyment to be had from the fact that his little plan had fallen flat.
"Oh Lex. If I were a paranoid person I'd say you didn't want me to come visit." Lucas sounded not in the least repentant, and Lex had to fight afresh the urge to really have a go at him.
"Its just a case of appalling timing, Lucas, entirely your fault, of course. You'll have to find somewhere to stay in town tonight, and I'll call you when I get in tomorrow." Might as well make the best out of the situation. "Oh, by the way. The motel on the edge of town has closed down. Health and safety." Poor Larry. Shouldn't have looked at Chloe. "So you'll probably have to stay at the guest house in town. And for God's sake keep a low profile!"
"OK Lex! I'm not a total idiot." Lex bit back a sharp reply. "I'd better go. Its my turn to drive." Lex could hear the barely concealed excitement behind the last statement, and reminded himself how little used to a lifestyle of mansions and sports cars his brother was. It wouldn't hurt to indulge him, this once.
"Fine, Lucas. See you tomorrow."
Lex ended the call and resumed his sightless meditation on the passing scenery, which had by now assumed the well-tended appearance of comfortable suburbia. The pilot's voice came over the intercom, shaking Lex from his reverie.
"Five minutes to landing, Mr Luthor."
Lex poured himself another three fingers of scotch and knocked them back, before putting the bottle away in its purpose-built slot. He had a feeling that he would need something to take the edge off the morning after the night he very much intended to have before.
Chapter 4
"Lex! How's it going, oh scion of the Luthor empire?"
"Lucas." Lex closed his eyes and gripped the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger. His headache was no better and he was not in the mood for a chat with an impossibly chirpy younger brother.
"Hmm, I can tell your mood hasn't improved since yesterday. Has Dad done something?"
"Many things. But nothing in particular today. What can I do for you?"
"Bruce and I have done something to cheer you up." Lex felt his heart drop like a stone. He'd often been on the receiving end of a Wayne-patented cheering-up scheme whilst sharing a room with Bruce at boarding school. They were rarely good. Bruce's twisted sense of humor, no doubt an over- compensation for his long periods of carefully guarded despondency and depression, had created some particularly lunatic jokes in the past.
"Oh god Lucas. What have you done?" That seemed to be a side-splittingly funny joke to the voice on the line, as he cracked up into a fit of loud laughter. Lex had to hold the phone away from his ear for a minute until Lucas calmed down.
"He said it, Bruce! He said it just the way you said he would!" Lex could hear shoulder slapping and someone else laughing uproariously in the background. Lucas did a fair approximation of Lex's voice. "Oh god Lucas. What have you done?" This sent the other end of the line into fresh paroxysms of laughter and shoulder slapping. Lex was close to hanging up on him when Lucas finally settled. "I'm sorry Lex. Its just that Bruce said you'd say that and I said you wouldn't, and now I owe him dinner."
"Yes, that is indeed highly amusing. I've been rocking with silent laughter and I think my sides may well require stitches." Lex kept his tone low and even, despite the almighty urge to scream at his brother. "Now, could you please tell me what you've done?"
"Sorry, Lex. Well, we decided it would be fun to take a road trip." Lex groaned inwardly. "And we couldn't decide where to go so we decided to ask you."
"And the catch being?" Like he even needed to ask.
"In person! We'll be arriving in Smallville in about an hour. Surprise!" Lucas finished triumphantly.
"That's all very well and good Lucas, but didn't I tell you not to come to Smallville?" Lex asked patiently, annoyance at his feckless brother concealed beneath the smooth tone.
"No, you told me to stay with Bruce. And I did." Lucas spoke slowly and clearly, as if explaining something obvious to a backward child. "Besides, we can stay at the mansion and no-one will even know I'm there."
"And that would be fine except that I'm in Metropolis. I'm not getting back until tomorrow."
"That's ok. We can stay a while, can't we, Bruce?" A muffled ascent indicated Bruce's compliance. "He says we can."
"That's very kind of him, but there's another problem. Our father swept in for a surprise visit this morning, and has settled in for tonight at least. So there's no way you can stay at the mansion. Unless you want to get yourself killed, of course. I don't know what it is with my family and not arranging these things in advance." He felt a tiny flicker of pleasure at that, although he knew Lucas hadn't meant to be annoying. Nonetheless he had been, and there was some mean spirited enjoyment to be had from the fact that his little plan had fallen flat.
"Oh Lex. If I were a paranoid person I'd say you didn't want me to come visit." Lucas sounded not in the least repentant, and Lex had to fight afresh the urge to really have a go at him.
"Its just a case of appalling timing, Lucas, entirely your fault, of course. You'll have to find somewhere to stay in town tonight, and I'll call you when I get in tomorrow." Might as well make the best out of the situation. "Oh, by the way. The motel on the edge of town has closed down. Health and safety." Poor Larry. Shouldn't have looked at Chloe. "So you'll probably have to stay at the guest house in town. And for God's sake keep a low profile!"
"OK Lex! I'm not a total idiot." Lex bit back a sharp reply. "I'd better go. Its my turn to drive." Lex could hear the barely concealed excitement behind the last statement, and reminded himself how little used to a lifestyle of mansions and sports cars his brother was. It wouldn't hurt to indulge him, this once.
"Fine, Lucas. See you tomorrow."
Lex ended the call and resumed his sightless meditation on the passing scenery, which had by now assumed the well-tended appearance of comfortable suburbia. The pilot's voice came over the intercom, shaking Lex from his reverie.
"Five minutes to landing, Mr Luthor."
Lex poured himself another three fingers of scotch and knocked them back, before putting the bottle away in its purpose-built slot. He had a feeling that he would need something to take the edge off the morning after the night he very much intended to have before.