Chapter 5: Steiner's gift problem
Steiner was looking at the free staff cleaning from "Phil's wands, staffs, and shit-like-that" It was clear that he thought it was a good present, until he looked in the lower right corner and saw something that really pissed him off.
"Only valid Jan. 1 thru Feb. 30? Aw crap!" he screamed.
Apparently, it was far past that time, since it was the middle of the summer, and there were kids in swimming pools all over the place that weren't dying of hypothermia from exposure to cold water. He began to think of what he should get for Vivi, when he remembered him saying he liked rap music a lot, shortly after it was brought to Gaia by ambassadors from earth.
"I know! There's a music store just down this road! They're bound to have some rap albums!"
Without further ado, it was off to "Music to blow the top off your parents' heads"
Jiji, Zidane and Blank were all going off to get Blank's present for Vivi. The Chocolate Nutz were wrapped, the card was in a little envelope, and Zidane's bowel obstruction had finally broken loose.
"Where is the Tantalus hideout anyway?" asked Jiji.
"Further up and further in" said Blank, quoting C.S. Lewis.
"You don't know how wrong that sounds," said Zidane
Jiji sweatdropped. "Can't you go one minute without thinking of s_x?"
"Nope." Said Zidane. "I'm even thinking of making passionate love to Garnet while you speak."
Blank did a rare double sweatdrop. "Have you even ever BEEN that lucky with her?"
Zidane puffed out his chest. "Yep! One night, we went around four times!"
Blank and Jiji looked repulsed. "TMI!" they both said.
As they were talking, they came to the door of the Tantalus hideout. Unknowing of the terrible evil that waited inside.
Steiner was looking at the music, looking for the rap. Frankly, he could have asked directions, but he was far too macho for that. The first CD he picked up was Weird Al Yancovic's "Poodle Hat."
"Hey, what's this?"
He went to one of the little headphone booths to listen to it. He lisened to the first song:
~You're gonna lose your mind watchin TV They told me They scold me Cajoled me~
"Weird!" he said, and skipped to another song:
~I'm a namreg, German am I~
Too weird! He said, and switched to another:
~Why'd you hafta go an' make me so constipated?~
0_0 "That's really weird!"
He put the CD up, deciding it was too deep for a ten year old. That's when he noticed another CD.
As the Black Mage/Waltz, Jiji, and his two travel companions entered the hideout, they saw the most horrible thing in the world. It was..
(AN This next evil is really scary!)
Baku, Marcus, and Cinna were having a wet T-shirt contest!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Jiji, Zidane and Blank all screamed at the top of their lungs.
Baku turned to them. "Ah, there you are, you can be the judges!"
Zidane gulped. "Okay.."
Steiner was now listening to the soundtrack to "Jay and Silent Bob strike back". He didn't mind at first, at least until he got to that one song in the middle of the movie. (AN: You know what I'm talking about.) "GREAT MERCIFUL CRAP!" I've never heard the F-word so many M----- F------ times in one song! However, it was a good tune, and soon, he found himself singing along very loudly.
(AN: I could type what he's singing, but then this fic would be R-rated)
He sang loudly in his raucous voice, until he noticed everyone was staring at him, some of them making the sign of the cross, and a few of them covering their kids' ears . He put that CD up, but then he saw another..
Jiji, Zidane, and Blank were leaving the Tantalus Hideout with the present. It was a little doll of Vivi himself, holding a HUGE wooden staff. It had abnormally large eyes, but it was VERY cute.
"Does it talk?" asked Zidane, and he punched it in the stomach.
The doll winced. "Ow, that hurts, dammit!"
Zidane jumped back. "What the f-"
Blank had to explain. "It's a living doll. I made it myself"
Jiji looked at it. "Does it have a name?"
The doll smiled as best as it could without a mouth. "It's Chibi Vividoll"
"Well, let's get you to the party."
And off they went.
Steiner was at the front desk of the music store.
"I want this CD."
"The best of Eminem?"
"Sure, It's for my nine year old friend!"
"Um... I'm not sure you wanna give him this one.
"Why not?"
"Didn't you listen to it?"
"Why?"
"Never mind. You'll find out."
I bet you all can't WAIT for the party. Cya.
Steiner was looking at the free staff cleaning from "Phil's wands, staffs, and shit-like-that" It was clear that he thought it was a good present, until he looked in the lower right corner and saw something that really pissed him off.
"Only valid Jan. 1 thru Feb. 30? Aw crap!" he screamed.
Apparently, it was far past that time, since it was the middle of the summer, and there were kids in swimming pools all over the place that weren't dying of hypothermia from exposure to cold water. He began to think of what he should get for Vivi, when he remembered him saying he liked rap music a lot, shortly after it was brought to Gaia by ambassadors from earth.
"I know! There's a music store just down this road! They're bound to have some rap albums!"
Without further ado, it was off to "Music to blow the top off your parents' heads"
Jiji, Zidane and Blank were all going off to get Blank's present for Vivi. The Chocolate Nutz were wrapped, the card was in a little envelope, and Zidane's bowel obstruction had finally broken loose.
"Where is the Tantalus hideout anyway?" asked Jiji.
"Further up and further in" said Blank, quoting C.S. Lewis.
"You don't know how wrong that sounds," said Zidane
Jiji sweatdropped. "Can't you go one minute without thinking of s_x?"
"Nope." Said Zidane. "I'm even thinking of making passionate love to Garnet while you speak."
Blank did a rare double sweatdrop. "Have you even ever BEEN that lucky with her?"
Zidane puffed out his chest. "Yep! One night, we went around four times!"
Blank and Jiji looked repulsed. "TMI!" they both said.
As they were talking, they came to the door of the Tantalus hideout. Unknowing of the terrible evil that waited inside.
Steiner was looking at the music, looking for the rap. Frankly, he could have asked directions, but he was far too macho for that. The first CD he picked up was Weird Al Yancovic's "Poodle Hat."
"Hey, what's this?"
He went to one of the little headphone booths to listen to it. He lisened to the first song:
~You're gonna lose your mind watchin TV They told me They scold me Cajoled me~
"Weird!" he said, and skipped to another song:
~I'm a namreg, German am I~
Too weird! He said, and switched to another:
~Why'd you hafta go an' make me so constipated?~
0_0 "That's really weird!"
He put the CD up, deciding it was too deep for a ten year old. That's when he noticed another CD.
As the Black Mage/Waltz, Jiji, and his two travel companions entered the hideout, they saw the most horrible thing in the world. It was..
(AN This next evil is really scary!)
Baku, Marcus, and Cinna were having a wet T-shirt contest!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Jiji, Zidane and Blank all screamed at the top of their lungs.
Baku turned to them. "Ah, there you are, you can be the judges!"
Zidane gulped. "Okay.."
Steiner was now listening to the soundtrack to "Jay and Silent Bob strike back". He didn't mind at first, at least until he got to that one song in the middle of the movie. (AN: You know what I'm talking about.) "GREAT MERCIFUL CRAP!" I've never heard the F-word so many M----- F------ times in one song! However, it was a good tune, and soon, he found himself singing along very loudly.
(AN: I could type what he's singing, but then this fic would be R-rated)
He sang loudly in his raucous voice, until he noticed everyone was staring at him, some of them making the sign of the cross, and a few of them covering their kids' ears . He put that CD up, but then he saw another..
Jiji, Zidane, and Blank were leaving the Tantalus Hideout with the present. It was a little doll of Vivi himself, holding a HUGE wooden staff. It had abnormally large eyes, but it was VERY cute.
"Does it talk?" asked Zidane, and he punched it in the stomach.
The doll winced. "Ow, that hurts, dammit!"
Zidane jumped back. "What the f-"
Blank had to explain. "It's a living doll. I made it myself"
Jiji looked at it. "Does it have a name?"
The doll smiled as best as it could without a mouth. "It's Chibi Vividoll"
"Well, let's get you to the party."
And off they went.
Steiner was at the front desk of the music store.
"I want this CD."
"The best of Eminem?"
"Sure, It's for my nine year old friend!"
"Um... I'm not sure you wanna give him this one.
"Why not?"
"Didn't you listen to it?"
"Why?"
"Never mind. You'll find out."
I bet you all can't WAIT for the party. Cya.