Disclaimers: Still doesn't belong to me. It'd be a nice Christmas present, though…
Notes: Um…Ryuichi's point of view this time around!
~*The Bible of Kumagoro—Getting Closer to Your God*~
I kicked my legs over the back of the couch as I waited. Tatsuha normally called me over the weekends after he got home, so I was waiting. He normally called me even sometimes on the weekdays. He'd PROMISED me at least the weekends, though. I hope he didn't think he could get out of calling me today because he had on Thursday. I still wanted to talk to him TODAY!
I moved Kumagoro to sit on my stomach as we both waited. Tatsuha hadn't called us, and that was depressing. He normally called right after he got home, had he not gotten home yet? I hoped not, it was getting pretty late na no da. If Tatsuha was out this late something bad could happen to him! Or maybe it already had!
"Kumagoro! What if something bad happened to Tatsuha! I don't know WHAT I'd do!" I managed in my normal cheeriness, but in reality I was worried. If Tatsuha got hurt I really DIDN'T know what I'd do. He was the only person that ever made an effort to understand me. After all this fame, that is…Noriko and Tohma understood me pretty well, but I'd known them since before I was famous.
I jumped as the doorbell rang, falling off the couch as I did so, and sliding so my entire upper half was on the floor. Scrambling up quickly I grabbed Kumagoro and ran over to the door as fast as I could, holding onto my spinning head as I did so.
"Tatsuha! Why didn't you…call?" I shut up and dropped my smile as soon as I saw Tatsuha, moving out of the way so he could come inside. "What happened?" I asked softly as I shut the door behind me. Tatsuha looked like something really serious was up. I didn't want Tatsuha to be that sad…ever!
He sighed as he sat down on the couch and I ran over to him, setting Kumagoro on his lap as I sat down on my knees next to him.
"Tell Kumagoro if you won't tell me," I offered, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. I may be generally immature and naïve, but I knew better sometimes. I could tell something was seriously wrong and my cheerful personality wasn't going to do anything for us at the moment. Besides, I just couldn't stay cheery when someone I cared about was so very upset.
Tatsuha smiled slightly and picked Kumagoro up, just staring at him for a while. I scooted a little closer to him so I could lean my head on his as he stared at him. We stayed like that for a while before Tatsuha placed Kumagoro back in his lap, petting his head softly.
"Kumagoro, what do you do when someone cares about you so very much, but you can't give them what they want, no matter how much you want to? How do you not have two people love you and not hurt one of them?" I hugged Tatsuha tightly as he talked. I knew Michael was going to say something eventually. He didn't look like the type to just give up on something like that. Or maybe he didn't talk. It was pretty obvious that Michael liked Tatsuha; maybe he'd just picked up on it. "Ryuichi." I let go of him as he said my name, slouching down so I could see his face.
"What?" He didn't look as lost as I'd thought he would. He just looked, confused. Sort of betrayed. Not lost, scared, hurt, nothing pathetic like that. He was a lot stronger than I would have been. I would have been crying the second I found out someone else loved me. I admired Tatsuha for that. He was a lot stronger than I was, but he wasn't afraid to ask for even my help when he needed it, and he wasn't afraid to get help.
"What do I do?" he asked softly, turning to look at me. I blinked a couple times before shrugging. I wasn't sure what I'd do in the situation, even. Tatsuha's eyes looked blank, blank enough that it was almost scary. I hugged him tightly, crawling to sit in his lap. Kumagoro fell off to his side but I didn't care at the moment, I could pick him up later. I was afraid that those blank eyes could change him into the same sort of person that Yuki was.
Shuichi was stronger than I was, too. He could put up with Yuki, and he didn't seem phased by it anymore. He and Yuki had worked things out no matter how hard they were. He was willing to stick through the insults in order to have him. I couldn't have done that. I couldn't do that if Tatsuha became anything like his brother.
"I won't leave you, I know that much," he offered softly and I smiled, pulling myself closer to him. He was holding me now, and anyone would have thought that I was the one that needed the comforting out of the two of us. I was sure Tatsuha wouldn't have let me hold him like this if I looked like he was the weak one. He didn't like being weak, especially around his friends and me. I'd noticed that. He wasn't as tough as he made himself out to be, but he wasn't whiny and weak like me. I always needed comfort when I was upset. Not to say I was completely weak. I could handle things by myself if I wanted to.
"If he's your real friend, he won't hate you, right?" I felt Tatsuha's hands clench in my shirt and I wondered if I'd said anything wrong. If he were Tatsuha's friend he would care just as much about Tatsuha's feelings as Tatsuha did his and not hate him. Although, that didn't mean he wouldn't be angry for a while.
"I'm not afraid he'll hate me. I'm afraid that he won't want to hang around with me. That he'll be too embarrassed and shy to spend time with me anymore. I really like him." I sighed and pressed my cheek harder against Tatsuha's chest, feeling his chin resting on top of my head.
"That might happen. Then again, it might not. I say you should talk to him. It might make him feel less awkward if you try and explain." It was Tatsuha that held me tighter this time, and I smiled slightly, a small sad smile, but a smile. I could feel the dark seriousness escaping slowly.
"I can't go over there and see him. I'm too afraid." I sighed and sat up slowly, forcing Tatsuha to loosen his grip on me so I could see him. He looked afraid, but not in a pathetic sense. Like he was ashamed of it. "I don't want to force him to talk to me if he's ashamed to. I don't want to force him into anything." I sighed and reached out to pet his hair softly.
"Come on, you don't have to force him to. Just tell him that you want to talk to him and that you're sorry. He's a really good friend of yours, right?" Tatsuha nodded and I smiled before continuing. "Then I'm sure he'll want to talk to you, even a little bit." Tatsuha sighed and I hopped off his lap, grabbing Kumagoro and pushing him into my pocket as gently as I could. "Come on! I'm sure he'd be glad to see you!" I cheered happily, grabbing onto his hand and trying to drag him off the couch. He came here to ask me what to do, and this was the only option I could find.
"Ryuichi, give it up," he demanded softly as I pulled on his arm, almost getting him to stand up before his hand slipped and he fell back to the couch. However, I tried again, grabbing onto both of his hands and pulling him up. "I said give it up!" he yelled after a while of trying and I let go, falling back onto the floor and staring up at him. I was just trying to help na no da… "Ryuichi…"
Tatsuha slid down to the floor and crawled over to where I was sitting, hugging me and holding onto one of my hands gently. "I'm sorry. I told you, I'm afraid."
"I was just trying to help," I whined softly, burying my face against his chest as I started crying. I hated getting screamed at. It made me feel so horrible, for being annoying enough to have someone seriously scream at me like that. For being stupid enough to make someone that mad.
"I know, and I'm sorry I screamed at you. I was scared," he offered softly, and I could feel him kissing the top of my head gently. "I'll go if that's the only way you can think of, but if there's another way I'd rather I not talk to him." I sighed and let him hold me, trying to think of some other way to get around this. Suddenly I remember something and sat up, smiling brightly.
"Why don't we ask Shuichi na no ka? He'd know what to do!" Tatsuha smiled slightly and nodded, letting me go so I could get up and call. Of COURSE! Everyone knew that Hiro was in love with Shuichi, he'd know how to get around this! He and Hiro were still good friends, after all! I should have thought of that in the first place!
It took a while for Shuichi to pick up the phone, and he didn't sound too happy when he did, but this was an emergency! At least, for me it was! Tatsuha was sad na no da! I couldn't let Tatsuha be sad like that!
"Ryuichi? What do you want? Has something happened to Tatsuha!" he demanded almost immediately and I flinched a little at the volume of his voice. I wasn't used to such loud voices after all that. Tatsuha had been barely talking when he did speak; I had to really pay attention.
"He's fine, but we need your help. Um…see, his best friend just…"
"Confessed? I'll be right over, okay? I didn't have anything to do here so I'm sure Yuki won't mind if I leave. Just in case Tatsuha's not aware of it, this is going to take a lot of work on his part," he offered softly and I nodded. He'd sounded like he'd been expecting that. I think he'd met Michael once before, too. Either that or he'd figured it out from the description I'd given him.
He was a lot more observant than people gave him credit for. You could hardly hide how you felt from him; he just didn't say anything about it. He told me that once. He told me he'd known that Hiro loved him for a while now, but had been too afraid of hurting him to pay any attention to the clues he dropped. He was good at reading people, that's why I'd trusted Tatsuha when I'd met him. I knew that Shuichi wouldn't introduce me to anyone he thought would hurt me. He was a good friend.
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ACK! I'm sorry it's so short! There's nothing I can really add in there that will make this chapter as long as the others! Don't worry though; I'll try to make up for it. Or maybe a short chapter would be good? A little bit of a break, you know. ^_^
And to peanutbaby13: That's a great idea! Thanks! I had a ShuichixYuki interlude where I wasn't sure what I was going to do in it, so I think I'll do that now. ^_^
Once again, reviews are GREATLY appreciated. They really give me the energy to write. ^_^