Chapter 9: Karaoke!
Vivi was approaching the top of the hill. Everyone scrambled around in the excitement of the final moments of secrecy. The tension hung heavily in the air like one of Chris Farley's farts.
"Quick! Everyone hide!" said Zidane, "He's coming!"
There was a mad scramble for hiding places. In the confusion, someone snapped a twig off of a tree, and it fell on the cake, someone knocked all of the gifts over, and Garnet splashed hollandaise on her dress.
As Vivi approached the top of the hill where he had been told to go by Eiko's letter, which had told him that he had left his staff up there, despite the fact he was holding it right now, he wondered what all the confusion was.
"Th-this is really weird. S-something is f-fishy here, a-and it's not the pickled herring I h-had for lunch!"
He came to the top of the hill, and saw all this food and these presents laid out.
"Wh-wh-what the-
"SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, VIVI!!!"
Everyone was there. The FFIX gang, the Tantalus Gang, The Knights of Pluto, Beatrix, and the entire population of the black mage village were all crowded around the picnic table.
"Happy birthday!" said Zidane, "We wanted to make this party extra special, so We're gonna do a little KARAOKE!!!" Take it away, Garnet!
Garnet took the microphone and began.
~Hello, Bobby my old friend It's good to see you once again How's your mother, how's your aunt, How's your father's skin-diving suit?~
At this part, everyone busted out laughing. "I'm not real sure about that line, but it goes something like that." Then she continued.
~I've got something you should see, back at my place, come with me I've got some brand new furnishings Plus ninety-nine dead baboons.
Ninety-nine dead baboons Sitting in my living room Not to functional it seems, But quite a conversation piece This one's Jake, that one's Dinah, There's Big Ned in my recliner No it's not a La-Z-Boy, Can't you see it's a dead baboon?
Dead Baboons, Everybody!
Dead baboons
Dead Baboons
How they got here, I'm not sure, Woke up one day, there they were. Luckily, I've got a lease Allowing pets if they're deceased I'm just thankful they're not apes 'Cuz apes would clash with the drapes no more napkins at my parties, wipe your hands on a dead baboon!
Dead Baboons, Everybody!
Dead Baboons
Dead Baboons
Dead Baboons are lots of fun Playing water balloons I've always won. You can keep your dead giraffes and swine, I'll take dead baboons every time There's just one problem I have found It's finding Purina dead baboon chow.
But what a happy snorkeling device.~
There was a long pause, after which Garnet said, "I'm not sure about that line either." Then continued."
~With Ninety-nine dead baboons Everybody!
Dead Baboons
Dead Baboons Dead Baboons Dead Baboons~
By the end of the song, everyone was laughing their asses off. Zidane stood up to announce the next singer. "The next singer is... Beatrix! Beatrix Prepared to sing.
~It happened one day in the studio dancing around in a do-si-do the purple monstrosity was waving his arms we were falling victim to his evil charms he brushed against a candle and he started to smoke and now were all laughing at the dinosaur joke
Oh boy! Barney's on fire It's what we've always desired We'll watch the flames get higher, Just don't try to put him out
(A/n: Imagine the black mages singing "Kill 'im" Over and over again until the second chorus right here.)
Purple fur was flying, ashes everywhere, And all of the kids just continued to stare The guy inside the suit, he started to yell, We prob'ly shoulda helped him but what the hell? He threw himself violently against the wall He fell to his knees and he tried to crawl away
Oh boy! Barney's on fire This is our secret desire We'll help the flames get higher, Just don't try to put him out~
Beatrix: Break it down, Vivi!
Vivi: I love you.. You love me.. (He acts like he's on fire) AH! AAAH! AAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAH! Thud.
~Oh boy! Barney's on fire Barney's on fire It's what we've always desired We'll help the flames get higher, And you better not try to put him out.
Barney's no longer ignited We're feeling somewhat slighted He's laying in a heap on the floor, We poked him with a stick Cuz we had to be sure He was dead~
Everyone laughed till they were blue when that song was finished. Giggling, Zidane announced the last singer before the festivities commenced.
"Our last singer before we play the games, iiiiis. VIVI ORNITIER!
Vivi got up to the microphone. "I-I wanna say that I am gonna s-sing "The restroom door said gentlemen" to the t-tune of "God rest ye merry gentlemen" He prepared.
~The restroom door said gentlemen and so I walked inside I heard high voices then knew I'd been taken for a ride I looked around and noticed that the room was occupied By two nuns, two old ladies and a nurse What could be worse? Than two nuns, two old ladies and a nurse That sign upon the restroom door it must have been a gag I tried to run outside and I ran into some old hag She sprayed me with her mace and then she whacked me with her bag I started to scream and curse, what could be worse? Than starting to scream and curse~
Zidane stepped up to the podium. "We will commence with our first game, pin the hat on the black mage, in just a minute!
To be continued.
Vivi was approaching the top of the hill. Everyone scrambled around in the excitement of the final moments of secrecy. The tension hung heavily in the air like one of Chris Farley's farts.
"Quick! Everyone hide!" said Zidane, "He's coming!"
There was a mad scramble for hiding places. In the confusion, someone snapped a twig off of a tree, and it fell on the cake, someone knocked all of the gifts over, and Garnet splashed hollandaise on her dress.
As Vivi approached the top of the hill where he had been told to go by Eiko's letter, which had told him that he had left his staff up there, despite the fact he was holding it right now, he wondered what all the confusion was.
"Th-this is really weird. S-something is f-fishy here, a-and it's not the pickled herring I h-had for lunch!"
He came to the top of the hill, and saw all this food and these presents laid out.
"Wh-wh-what the-
"SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, VIVI!!!"
Everyone was there. The FFIX gang, the Tantalus Gang, The Knights of Pluto, Beatrix, and the entire population of the black mage village were all crowded around the picnic table.
"Happy birthday!" said Zidane, "We wanted to make this party extra special, so We're gonna do a little KARAOKE!!!" Take it away, Garnet!
Garnet took the microphone and began.
~Hello, Bobby my old friend It's good to see you once again How's your mother, how's your aunt, How's your father's skin-diving suit?~
At this part, everyone busted out laughing. "I'm not real sure about that line, but it goes something like that." Then she continued.
~I've got something you should see, back at my place, come with me I've got some brand new furnishings Plus ninety-nine dead baboons.
Ninety-nine dead baboons Sitting in my living room Not to functional it seems, But quite a conversation piece This one's Jake, that one's Dinah, There's Big Ned in my recliner No it's not a La-Z-Boy, Can't you see it's a dead baboon?
Dead Baboons, Everybody!
Dead baboons
Dead Baboons
How they got here, I'm not sure, Woke up one day, there they were. Luckily, I've got a lease Allowing pets if they're deceased I'm just thankful they're not apes 'Cuz apes would clash with the drapes no more napkins at my parties, wipe your hands on a dead baboon!
Dead Baboons, Everybody!
Dead Baboons
Dead Baboons
Dead Baboons are lots of fun Playing water balloons I've always won. You can keep your dead giraffes and swine, I'll take dead baboons every time There's just one problem I have found It's finding Purina dead baboon chow.
But what a happy snorkeling device.~
There was a long pause, after which Garnet said, "I'm not sure about that line either." Then continued."
~With Ninety-nine dead baboons Everybody!
Dead Baboons
Dead Baboons Dead Baboons Dead Baboons~
By the end of the song, everyone was laughing their asses off. Zidane stood up to announce the next singer. "The next singer is... Beatrix! Beatrix Prepared to sing.
~It happened one day in the studio dancing around in a do-si-do the purple monstrosity was waving his arms we were falling victim to his evil charms he brushed against a candle and he started to smoke and now were all laughing at the dinosaur joke
Oh boy! Barney's on fire It's what we've always desired We'll watch the flames get higher, Just don't try to put him out
(A/n: Imagine the black mages singing "Kill 'im" Over and over again until the second chorus right here.)
Purple fur was flying, ashes everywhere, And all of the kids just continued to stare The guy inside the suit, he started to yell, We prob'ly shoulda helped him but what the hell? He threw himself violently against the wall He fell to his knees and he tried to crawl away
Oh boy! Barney's on fire This is our secret desire We'll help the flames get higher, Just don't try to put him out~
Beatrix: Break it down, Vivi!
Vivi: I love you.. You love me.. (He acts like he's on fire) AH! AAAH! AAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAH! Thud.
~Oh boy! Barney's on fire Barney's on fire It's what we've always desired We'll help the flames get higher, And you better not try to put him out.
Barney's no longer ignited We're feeling somewhat slighted He's laying in a heap on the floor, We poked him with a stick Cuz we had to be sure He was dead~
Everyone laughed till they were blue when that song was finished. Giggling, Zidane announced the last singer before the festivities commenced.
"Our last singer before we play the games, iiiiis. VIVI ORNITIER!
Vivi got up to the microphone. "I-I wanna say that I am gonna s-sing "The restroom door said gentlemen" to the t-tune of "God rest ye merry gentlemen" He prepared.
~The restroom door said gentlemen and so I walked inside I heard high voices then knew I'd been taken for a ride I looked around and noticed that the room was occupied By two nuns, two old ladies and a nurse What could be worse? Than two nuns, two old ladies and a nurse That sign upon the restroom door it must have been a gag I tried to run outside and I ran into some old hag She sprayed me with her mace and then she whacked me with her bag I started to scream and curse, what could be worse? Than starting to scream and curse~
Zidane stepped up to the podium. "We will commence with our first game, pin the hat on the black mage, in just a minute!
To be continued.