Heys! I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed the first chapter, you really made my day!!!! Ok, this started out as a Lily/James fic but I kind of got side tracked with Sirius and Tiff so I guess I'll stick with the perverted comedy, as you seem to love it so much. (j/k!!!) Also, this story is the first of two, the second one featuring Harry & co. (Did I phrase that right???) Anyway, I'll try and get the next chapter up soon, but be warned, I have exams next week so I probably wont be able to write much. Please review and tell me what you think, - good reviews will get a big smile and will be greatly appreciated, flames will make me cry!!!
Disclaimer - Everything is J.K.R's, except Tiffany and Amber. I've nicked a few things from various films, various English comedy shows, eg Coupling etc, please don't sue me!!!
P.S. Look for *anagrams* heheheh.... Points will be awarded for the most observant reviewer...
Chapter two - Premonitions and Prophecies
A streak of midnight black, flashes of gold. It ran, galloping swiftly through the forest, the rhythmical sound of hoof beats thudding on the soft ground. It skids to a halt, nostrils flared in search of the scent, which was so familiar. The creature's majestic head held high, alert and wary as the footsteps draw ever closer. A girl; with hair like starshine and wonderfully clear eyes, the colour of wood violets. She kneels in the clearing on a carpet of bluebells, her hand outstretched to the beast. Cautiously, the animal approaches, dancing sideways in endless circles around the girl, watching closely for a chance to escape. Yet the girl does nothing, she follows the beast with her eyes watching calmly as it prances dangerously close; it's golden tail held gracefully high, mane streaming like liquid gold. Closer it moves, sure-footed and swift. Hooves of pure gold, just metres from the girl's knees. A supple neck outstretched, a beautifully dished face full of equine intelligence, softly; the beast nuzzles the girl's hand in search of sugar. She lays her hand upon its nose, tracing the only marking on the creature that was not golden. A white blaze. Suddenly spooked the animal leaps backwards into a rear, its golden horn held sky-ward. In a flash it was gone.
"Wait..."
Images sped through her mind at the speed of light; the forest, a stolen kiss under the mistletoe, graduation, a white wedding, letters, and tears. A woman with red hair, a tall man with tousled black hair. Piercing laughter. A green flash and an infantile cry...
Tiffany screamed sharply, breaking the silence of the dorm. She sat bolt upright; her eyes wide open in shock. 'What the hell was that?' she thought wildly. Looking around, Tiffany saw shapes moving towards her.
"Whassuup?" Lily rubbed her eyes sleepily whilst Amber emitted a huge yawn behind her.
"Nothing, nothing... just a nightmare..." said Tiff running her fingers through her dishevelled hair, her eyes narrowed in thought as she tried to make sense of the strange dream. A unicorn... came a distant thought. A black, flying unicorn, now I've seen everything, she thought a disbelieving smile spreading over her face.
"Sorry I woke you up. I'm never eating cheese again." Tiff groaned.
"Are you sure you're ok? You were shouting, and then you screamed." Amber looked up at Tiffany her eyes full of concern.
"What was I shouting?" asked Tiffany curiously.
"I don't know really, it just sounded like 'Nooooo', I think." said Amber.
"You shouted my name. That's what woke me up." said Lily softly. "What did you dream about Tiff?" All eyes were fixed on Tiffany, searching her face.
"I don't know, honestly. It was all blurry." Tiffany really didn't remember anything, but she deliberately didn't mention the flying unicorn, that was just too weird. She got up, walked over to the washstand and poured herself a glass of water. Amber and Lily retreated to their beds.
"Night Tiff," they said in unison. Tiffany noticed that she was still wearing her clothes. She quickly pulled on some pyjamas and got back into bed, snuggling deeply into the duvet, pushing all thoughts of the dream to the back of her mind.
"Oi Tiff, pass the bacon." said Sirius. The Great Hall was filled with the sound of chattering students; timetables were being handed out. Tiffany stared blankly at her scrambled eggs; she prodded them with her fork and sighed, eyeing the plate with disgust. Tiff pushed the golden plate away, she leant on her hand staring at the tablecloth.
"Hello, earth to Tiff!" Sirius waved a hand in front of her eyes.
"What?" she looked up, a distant expression on her face. "Sorry, did you say something?"
"Erm, only for the past five minutes. Bacon," Sirius nodded towards the tray of bacon and sausages. Tiff passed it him, a pensive expression troubled her face. "You ok?" he asked.
"Hm," she grunted, totally missing the fact that Sirius had actually enquired after her instead of telling her to go back to Gnomeland. "What've we got first?" she asked, squinting at her timetable.
"Care of Magical Creatures, oh no, with the Slytherins." Sirius' face fell. But Tiffany's lit up.
"That's it! I'll see you later, I've gotta go check something," Tiffany left the Great Hall in a hurry.
"Where's she going?" Lily turned to Sirius. "What did you say to her?" her eyes narrowed suspiciously.
"Nothing! She just said she had to go check something. Honestly, why do you always blame me?" exclaimed Sirius.
"Because it usually is you," said Lily truthfully.
Tiffany waked briskly towards the Gryffindor common room, desperately trying to remember if she had packed a certain textbook, one that could possibly answer a few questions about the strange unicorn dream. 'What was that about anyway?' she thought to herself. 'There's no such thing as a black unicorn, never mind a flying one!' Deeply immersed in this theory, Tiffany paid no attention whatsoever to where she was going and proceeded to walk straight into a tall figure clothed in billowing black robes.
"Oh!" Tiffany looked up; her face fell as her violet eyes met the cold black ones of Severus Snape. "Sorry," Tiffany backed away quickly.
"It's alright," he said silkily, give her an appreciative glance. Tiffany fought hard to keep her face straight, and free from showing open disgust. Snape was almost as bad as Malfoy when it came to flirting with her, only it was slightly funnier with Snape. "So, where are you off to?" he said.
"I just needed to check something before our first class," damn, thought Tiff. Too much information.
"What do you need to check? I could accompany you if you wish." said Snape greasily; his eyes fixed on Tiffany's making her feel extremely uncomfortable.
"No! I mean, no thank you. I, erm, just need..." Tiff thought of the right word. "Reference. If you'll excuse me, I must be going." Tiffany sidestepped around him and set off towards the common room at an alarmingly fast pace.
"See you in Care of Magical Creatures." Snape gazed after her, a disturbing smile played across his lips.
"Bye," Tiff called, sighing with relief as she reached the painting of the Fat Lady.
"How do I attract these people?" she said to herself, a repulsed frown came over her face as she thought of the previous conversation.
"Animal magnetism by any chance?" Tiffany jumped as Remus came out of the portrait hole.
"Bloody hell, you scared me!" she exclaimed, her hands at her throat.
"So I guess you weren't talking about Sirius then?" he said, brown eyes glinting mischievously.
"Not unless he has a bent nose, tons of greasy black hair and possesses the ability to make me throw up at the thought of any animalistic mating ritual." said Tiff, shuddering shuddering with disgust at the thought.
"Erm, very big Eurgh! Poor you," he winced, genuinely feeling sorry for Tiffany.
"Don't tell Sirius. The last thing I want is to be called Mrs. Gitfeatures for the rest of my life." Remus snorted with laughter.
"Hmm, that's a good one." Tiffany glared at him. "Ok, I won't tell.... Mrs. G!" Remus scarpared before Tiff had a chance to curse him.
"Liddo Kenas," Tiff sighed as the Fat Lady's painting swung back, revealing a semi-large hole leading to the Gryffindor common room, which was full of plush velvet chairs and maroon wall hangings.
"Amber, hurry up. We're late!" Lily shouted to Amber who was wolfing down the last of her bacon.
"Cmmmng," said Amber through a mouthful of food. She ran over to Lily and dragged her out the castle doors in pursuit of James, Remus, Sirius and Peter.
"Here comes lover girl," Peter nudged Remus, motioning towards Lily and Amber.
"Yeah, lover girl!" Sirius taunted James.
"What about you and 'Little Miss Sex Pixie'?" said James with raised eyebrows.
"That's between Little Miss Sex Pixie and I," Sirius winked. "Hi Lily, Amber." he smiled cheerfully, his face a little too innocent.
"Well it wasn't too obvious that you're talking about us!" Amber exclaimed.
"So, whatcha gonna do about it? Eh?" said Sirius playfully.
"Well..." Amber thought for a moment. "We're going to beat you with broomsticks until you bleed from your..." Lily clamped a hand over Amber's mouth
"She means, she'll beat Sirius to death with a broomstick whilst the rest of us watch in amusement." said Lily, releasing Amber. "Sorry Sirius, no offence." she said, her emerald eyes twinkling apologetically.
"None taken Lil. As soon as you've finished your role in PlayWizard's fantastic animation let me know." Everyone stared at Sirius, James and Remus both bore an amused sort of grimace on their faces.
"You know." said Sirius at the blank look on the girls' faces. "You, Amber and Tiff starring in Lesbian Spank Inferno. Don't lie, we all saw the pictures." A wave of horror swept over Lily and Amber's faces before they realised that Sirius was joking.
"You..." Amber shook her head at Sirius, trying to hide a smile. "Where on earth did you come up with that?" she asked incredulously.
"Do you really want to know?" his and James' faces split into two evil grins.
"No." said Lily firmly. "I stopped wanting to know after you mentioned PlayWizard." All the boys snickered. PlayWizard was a magazine for *ahem* adult wizards with a reputation for being the filthiest read since Hogwarts: An Untold History of The Secret Bondage Sex Chambers, which somehow Sirius had gotten hold of in his
first year.
* * *
"Where is it?" Several books soared through the air, knocking a photograph and a hairbrush off Lily's bedside table. "Aha," Tiffany grinned triumphantly, pulling out a slim red book with gold leaf corners. She sat down on her bed, and turned straight to the last pages of the book.
"...Rare Thestral (black, possessed of the power of invisibility and considered unlucky by many wizards." Tiffany quoted under her breath, Winged Horses was the subtitle. Well that told me a lot! thought Tiffany ironically. Her eyes blurred for a minute, a soft aching pain came from around her neck.
Tiff sighed, oh well... Care of Magical Creatures. She wrinkled her nose in disdain. If she was with someone else then she'd most probably skip it, but playing truant was no fun on your own. Reluctantly, Tiffany made her way towards the Entrance Hall, trying to ignore the nauseating pain, which was slowly diffusing throughout her head.
"Oww," Tiff blinked several times, trying to make the pain go away. No luck, she changed her course and headed towards the medical wing.
"My head hurts," she told Madam Pomfrey, who was fussing round her as she swayed a little.
"Sit down on here," Madam Pomfrey led Tiffany to a bed, where she collapsed holding her head in agony. "Here, drink this." Tiff gulped down a smoking blue potion, which tasted like old socks.
"Never tell me what was in that," she said, a look of utter revulsion on her face.
"How do you feel?"
"A bit better, the pain's still there, just around my temples," said Tiff.
"I don't know, you're just like your cousin. He's always in here wanting to be patched up after fights." Tiffany's eyes narrowed slightly. Zane Zabini was in his seventh year, same as Malfoy, and was the total opposite to Tiffany. As she was kind, gentle and innocent? Well maybe not *that* innocent, he was ruthless, devious and cunning. Tiffany almost never talked to him; he was a big believer in power, which was most probably the reason why he was in Slytherin.
"Drink it all, and then you can have a lie down" said Madam Pomfrey warningly. Tiffany pulled a face and began sipping the potion whilst Madam Pomfrey pulled a screen round her bed. Almost immediately the doors opened, and several people walked in.
"Poppy, we need you to translate something. It's written in some ancient form of Latin, and no one can decipher the last verse," came Dumbledore's voice.
"It seems to be some kind of rhyme... "
"Complete nonsense... window to their souls? What does it mean?" A male and a female voice sounded throughout the hospital, both completely bewildered.
"I'll try my best headmaster," said Madam Pomfrey. There was a rustling of papers.
"Careful, they're really old." said the male voice anxiously. After several moments of silence, Madam Pomfrey finally spoke.
"I think I've got it, but..."
"But what, Poppy?" asked Dumbledore.
"It sounds, well... bad. See what you make of it." She passed a piece of paper, covered in rough notes to Dumbledore. His expression remained unreadable.
"Hmm," he said thoughtfully. "Interesting..." Dumbledore took a deep breath, and began to read.
"Two maidens fair, from afar,
One of the seas and one of the stars.
Both gentle, kind and pure of spirit
All is revealed in the window to their souls.
The buck and the tiger-, the jade and the cur,
Each with a gift more precious than myrrh.
Of their destined love, a chance shall arise,
To whirl away the darkest skies.
Should their heirs, mature and meet,
Darkness should be fleet of feet.
For if these soulmates battle forth,
The Lord shall fall, down to the hearth.
If however, these souls shall part,
When one has captured the other's heart.
Fear not Lord, for thou shall rise,
Blacker and darker than the premier guise."
"Do you have any idea what it could mean Professor?" came the female voice.
"Yes Minerva, I do. There are parts which I don't yet understand, parts which will be of particular relevance in the future, but at the present time. Minerva, Jonathon, you are aware of the sudden increase in muggle-born and muggle killings?" Dumbledore asked Professor McGonagall and Professor Mondoc. They nodded tentatively. "You know of Lord Voldemort." Dumbledore stated.
"Professor..." McGonagall gasped. "You, don't think HE'S the Lord in the poem surely." Her eyes widened with shock.
"It can't be..." started Jonathon.
"It is. But I don't think the prophecy applies to the present time. No... It's futuristic." said Dumbledore, deep in thought.
"It could've already happened though. I mean, this is hundreds, possibly thousands of years old." said Jonathon.
"True, but why would it be revealed now if it wasn't relevant to the time?" Dumbledore contradicted himself. "What I mean is, maybe it's telling us something. Something that will happen in the future. Something we must prevent from happening." He received several worried looks.
"Ahem," Tiffany cleared her throat, stepping around the screen. "Erm, I feel better now. Bye." She darted for the door.
"Wait, Miss Zabini." Tiffany turned to face Dumbledore.
"I'd prefer it if you didn't tell anyone what you've heard." said Dumbledore, smiling.
"Erm, ok. I didn't understand it anyway." she said. Tiffany left the room and made her way quickly down to the grounds to Care of Magical Creatures.
"Professor, what if she tells someone." Minerva exclaimed.
"She wont, she's one to keep her word. Funny though... considering her relatives..." said Jonathon, gazing after Tiffany.
* * *
"Sorry I'm late, I went to the medical wing." Tiffany explained to Professor Kettleburn, the Care of Magical Creatures teacher.
"Where have you been? You've been gone for fifteen minutes," said Amber.
"Hospital wing, I had a headache." said Tiff truthfully.
"You ok?" asked Lily, concern spreading across her delicate face.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Honestly," she smiled. "So what's happened whilst I've been gone?"
"Not much, Sirius, porn, Sirius, lesbians, Sirius, lesbian porn. Same old thing really." Amber drawled.
"Riiiiiight," Tiffany glanced over at Sirius who was deeply immersed in conversation with James, Remus and Peter, they were all huddled around a piece of parchment, trying to block it from view. "What are they doing?"
"Dunno, the word, 'PlayWizard' comes to mind though." Lily smirked.
"Tut, tut, tut! What naughty little boys!" said Tiff loudly. Sirius and James turned round.
"What?" they said in unison, hastily folding the parchment and tucking it under Sirius' robes.
"So you're back," said Sirius.
"No shit Sherlock! You're so incredibly quick!" Tiff exclaimed sarcastically.
"Hey Tiff, you've got an admirer." Remus grinned, nodding in the direction of Snape who kept glancing at Tiff every ten seconds.
Tiffany glared at Remus. "Shut it!" she mouthed. But it was too late, Sirius was already on his way over to Snape.
"Oh, please kill me now." she murmured, with her head in her hands. Amber and Lily were watching excitedly.
"What do you think he's going to say?" Lily asked James.
"No idea," he replied truthfully.
Sirius walked up to Snape, stopping a few feet away.
"Oi, gitface!" Snape glared at Sirius venomously. "Do you fancy Tiff?" said Sirius very loudly. The whole class had stopped talking to watch. Tiffany's face contorted with horror, as Sirius moved closer to Severus.
"Shut it Black," spat Snape, a rouge blush appeared on his pale cheeks.
"Don't you just love her though," Sirius whispered so that only Snape could hear him. "All that blonde hair, those slender legs, sexy curves and what a bloody nice arse..."
"Agghhhh," Snape grabbed Sirius by his robes and shoved him up against a tree. :~:a/n not in a slash kinda way ;) :~: "I'm gonna kill you Black."
"And doesn't it just tear you apart, with the fact that I got there first." Sirius' eyes gleamed triumphantly as Snape's face fell.
"You're lying, she knows what scum you are..." Snape doubled over as Sirius kicked him in the stomach.
"Ooooh, that had to hurt." Lily winced, almost feeling sorry for Snape.
"What's happening?" said Tiff, still covering her eyes with her hands.
"Sirius just kicked Snape." said Peter, who was watching in awe.
"What!" Tiff glared at Sirius as he walked back towards them.
"What did you say to him?" James asked Sirius in an undertone.
"Not much," he replied, shooting daggers at Snape.
"Right, class. Gather round, can everyone hear me? Good." hollered Professor Kettleburn. "Now, can any of you tell me..." he pulled back a sheet, which had been covering a large cage. "... What this is?" It was a small, evil looking creature with a pointed face. At the moment it was cackling.
Sirius raised his hand. "Yes Mr. Black."
"Tiffany." The class snickered, they were used to Sirius' jokes about Tiff's height.
"Amusing as that might be, it's an Erkling. This gnome-like creature preys on small children. It lures them away from their guardians, takes them to its lair..."
"And beats them to death with a ten foot dildo." Sirius muttered to James under his breath. James fought hard against the irresistible urge to burst out laughing.
"... And eats them with it's jagged fangs." finished Professor Kettleburn dramatically.
Sirius glanced over at Tiffany, trying to catch her eye. She turned her back on him.
"Do you think she's mad with me?" he asked James.
"I wonder how you worked that out," said Peter sarcastically.
"Why though? I fought to defend her honour, she should thank me!" he exclaimed.
"Sirius, maybe she'll thank you when she gets over the embarrassment." said Remus helpfully.
"Hmm, I very much doubt it." James stared across at Tiffany, who was standing with Lily and Amber. He gazed at Lily's hair as it shimmered different shades of red in the morning sun. She turned round, her green eyes meeting his. A mutual smile passed between them, before their attention returned to their friends.