a/n Finally, I bring you the long awaited chapter four!! **sarcasm** Right, I have the plot worked out and it's not just a meaningless romance story, (winks at AMM!), I'm even planning the sequel!!! Huuuuuge thanks to my fabulous beta reader, K*t, whose seemingly meaningless words have been my inspiration for many ideas in the story so far. I warn you now. Beware of double meanings. If you don't get them, don't even bother asking, trust me, I have a very sick mind!! **shut up K*t!!**
Tell me what you think of this, constructive criticism is welcome, emphasis on constructive!
I'm thinking of lowering the rating, as it is only cursing and *ahem* 'themes' with deserve the R rating. Yes??? No???
R/R pweeeeeeeeease!!!!
Disclaimer: Everything that belongs to J.K.R belongs to J.K.R. Everything that belongs to me belongs to me!
P.S. Thank you to all you lovely people who reviewed!!! You really make my day!!!
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This chapter is dedicated to my beloved horse Nimo, who was sadly put to sleep on the 17th July 2001 at the age of 30.
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Chapter Four - The Halloween Hoax
"Potter!" said Professor McGonagall sternly. "Might I suggest that you concentrate your attention on turning your buttercup into a butterfly instead of Miss Evans." She raised her thin eyebrows. Lily blushed to the tips of her flame red hair, smiling as James squeezed her hand under the table. For almost a month they had managed to keep their relationship a secret, but a certain Ilianna Harman had yet again been listening in on Tiff and Amber's conversations, and had promptly told the entire school within several hours. Now it was late October, and Lily could safely admit that she was falling in love with James, but only to Tiff and Amber, as they were the only people she trusted at Hogwarts.
James nodded towards McGonagall and with a cheeky grin, he effortlessly turned the buttercup into a white butterfly, which fluttered above him as he kissed Lily on the cheek.
"Thank you Potter," her thin lips twitched into a small smile.
"Aww, Lily and Jamie. I just hope that one day I can find a girl who loves me as much as you do James," said Sirius, mockingly holding a hand to his head and pretending to faint.
"Well there's always Tiff, she's still single," James grinned, putting his arm around Lily. Tiffany looked up and glared at him. Her hair was pulled away from her face and held up with two delicate clips, her eyes accentuated by a hint of gold eye shadow, giving her an air of serenity and grace.
"I'd rather have manic puppy sex with Severus Snape in a bathtub than go out with Sirius," she said seriously. Everyone laughed.
"Tiffany Miranda Zabini. I am shocked. I thought I was your one true love, your swan, your mate for life, your..." said Sirius dramatically.
"Well I'm sorry to disappoint you but I need a man, not a boy," said Tiff, grinning evilly.
"So you're choosing a tall, greasy haired, big-footed ape, over me?"
"Well, you know what they say about big feet..." Tiff raised her eyebrows suggestively.
"Please enlighten us Miss Zabini, and tell us all, what do they say about 'big feet'?" McGonagall chirped from behind Tiff, her beady eyes fixed on Tiff's shocked amethyst ones. Tiff hesitated for a moment as though searching for the right expression.
"You know the saying Professor, big feet, large shoes," she said, smiling ever so innocently, fluttering her outrageously long eyelashes. McGonagall thought about this for a second, the muscles on her face twitched as she tried to refrain from smiling.
"I do believe it's time for you to go. Homework is to write a story or diary entry about animagi transformations, handed in on Monday, no excuses," she glanced over at James, Sirius, Remus and Peter who bolted for the door.
When she was a safe distance from the classroom, Tiff traded a glance with Amber and burst into a fit of giggles.
"Oh my god, that was so embarrassing. She knew, did you see her smile," Tiff shrieked.
"I know, it was so funny. Almost as good as the time Sirius fell in the lake twice in one day." Amber grinned. She fell silent however as Sirius and Remus passed. She hadn't spoken to Remus for a week. Amber wanted to know why he kept disappearing once a month, she had grown relentlessly tired of his 'sick mother,' 'dying grandmother' excuses, and had demanded that he either tell her or their relationship was over. There had been many tears shed, but Remus still wouldn't tell her, so Amber regretfully kept her word and had split up with him.
He smiled weakly at her, obvious pain in his deep brown eyes.
"Hi Amber," he said softly. "Can I have a word?"
"Well..." Amber couldn't refuse that hurt puppy look. "Ok." she said stiffly.
"Come on Tiff," Sirius grabbed her arm and literally dragged her away.
"But..." she glanced back at Amber, who mouthed, 'Go.' Reluctantly, Tiff followed him down the corridor.
"Sirius? Where does Remus go to every month? And I want the truth," Tiff asked him.
"He has to go home, his mum's ill quite often," said Sirius flatly, not meeting her eyes.
"Si that's crap and I know it. Tell me the truth, I swear I'll never breathe a word to anyone," she said persuadingly.
"Well... you swear you wont tell." She nodded earnestly, leaning closer to listen. "Every month, Remus had to go home to feed his chickens. He's so attached to them, he just can't bear to leave them for long periods of time." Sirius grinned as Tiff hit him.
"You bloody liar, you really thought I'd fall for that? Who do you think I am? Il..." she started, catching sight of a yellow head in the approaching crowd of Ravenclaw girls. Sirius paled.
"Uh-oh, Tiff help me, she's stalking me," he said anxiously as Ilianna caught sight of them and hurried closer.
"I thought you liked dumb blondes," said Tiff under her breath. "Hey Ilianna!" she said cheerfully in an almost sarcastic way.
"Hi Tammy. Hiiii Sirius," she purred, fluttering her lashes at him, not even looking at Tiff.
"It's Tiffany," she said through her teeth, smiling bitchily.
"Oh, sorry," Ilianna dismissed her quickly, and linked Sirius' arm. "So, where are you off to?" She asked flirtatiously, her friends giggling in the background.
"Well... I was.. erm..." he looked at Tiff with pleading blue eyes.
"Are you always this articulate?" Ilianna smiled stupidly, trying to pull a 'Tiff'/'Amber'.
Tiff sighed. "Come on Sirius, we'll be late. We wouldn't want to disappoint Lily and James." Tiff pulled Sirius away from Ilianna and took his hand, trying not to cringe or throw up.
"Of course darling," Sirius nodded to Ilianna and her friends, and walked away with Tiffany, hand in hand, sighing thankfully.
"You two are going out?" Ilianna asked loudly, a shocked expression on her face. They turned round, Tiffany smiled triumphantly.
"Didn't you know that Ilianna? My, my, you are behind on the gossip," she raised her eyebrows at Ilianna's frustration.
"Is this true Sirius?" said Ilianna hotly. Tiff and Sirius traded a glance.
"Of course it is. I'm surprised you didn't find out sooner. Tiff and I are quite the couple." Sirius saw Snape and Malfoy further down the corridor. He grinned, knowing full well that Snape was still furious about Care of Magical Creatures.
"Keep your claws to yourself, he's taken." Tiff whispered to Ilianna who turned bright red and stormed off down the corridor. Ilianna's friends stared after her, as she collided with Snape, then streaked down the corridor howling. Snape looked shocked for a minute, then stared at Sirius loathingly.
Sirius smirked, before bending his head and kissing a bemused Tiff on the lips passionately. After several seconds he pulled back, took her hand and walked away, grinning at Snape's furious face. Snape stared after Sirius' retreating back, the utter most hatred coursing through his veins.
"I'll get you for this, Black," he muttered under his breath, his tone murderous.
Tiffany dragged Sirius round the corner, stomping furiously. When they were a safe distance away she stopped and turned to face him.
"What the hell did you think you were doing? Do you have any idea how quickly that'll get round? I mean, she hates me even more now and... aggghh!" Tiff shrieked, blushing furiously, the taste of 'Sirius' still on her lips.
"Excuse me, but you're the one who said, and this is a direct quote, 'keep your claws to yourself, he's taken'!" Sirius retorted, a silly grin creeping over his face.
"You know I only said that to piss her off," she hissed menacingly. Tiff glared at him frostily then stormed off towards the common room.
"Kinky chicken," she snapped at the Fat Lady who looked shocked, but let her in nonetheless. Sirius followed her, trying to hide his amusement at her reaction.
"Yeah, well I think it worked, she looked pretty 'pissed' to me," he called, walking through the common room, which had suddenly fallen silent, in pursuit of Tiff.
"Well if it gets out, I'll blame you. You just had to do it in front of bloody Snape, Malfoy and all those twittering little idiots from Ravenclaw..." Tiff fumed, completely oblivious to the wide eyed stares of James, Lily and Peter.
What did you do now Sirius?" asked Peter warily.
"More like what didn't he do?!" she shrieked.
"Nothing. I didn't do anything ok?" he gave Tiff a meaningful stare. "And thank you, for rescuing me," he added in an undertone to her, his eyes growing serious.
"It's ok," she whispered, smiling slightly. "But... why?" she wailed.
"Erm, you two? Are you going to tell us what's going on or are we supposed to try and guess?" asked Lily, a bewildered look on her face.
"That's a good idea, isn't it Sirius. Lets see if they can guess what just happened." Tiff grinned evilly as Sirius cringed. God, he would feel so embarrassed if Tiff told James and Remus that he'd kissed her. Why had he kissed her anyway? Was it to get back at Snape? Infuriate Malfoy? Make Ilianna seethingly jealous? Or was it because he liked her? Really liked her? Liked her so much that he didn't even realise it himself? Nah, get back at Snape was most probably the main reason - or was it?
Tiffany sat down in a plush velvet chair. She winked at Sirius, who backed away towards the boy's dorm.
"Erm, let's not. Besides, I have... umm, homework," he said nervously, disappearing up the stairs. Lily looked shocked.
"Since when does Sirius do homework?" she asked incredulously. Tiffany smiled secretively.
* * *
"Remus I've already told you that I wont tell anyone. Why can't you trust me?" asked Amber, her voice shaking with distress.
"I do trust you Amber, it's just... complicated. You wouldn't understand..." he muttered, walking away.
"Remus..." Amber gasped, her green eyes shone with tears. He turned back to her and took her in his arms as she sobbed uncontrollably. "I... miss you," she cried, burying her head in his shoulder.
"Me too," he said, stroking her goldy-bronze hair. "Maybe it's for the best though... I don't want to hurt you."
"Well what do you think you're doing now?" she shrieked, jumping backwards, a stricken look on her face.
"Amber, I don't want to hurt you," he repeated, this time more forcefully. "I care about you way too much," he leant forwards and kissed her lightly on the cheek. "Goodbye," he whispered, his fingertips gently brushed across her cheekbone in the image of a caress. Remus walked away from Amber, and out of her life.
Somehow, Amber managed to make her way to the girls toilets, where she collapsed into huge racking sobs.
"What's wrong with you?" A pearly white figure wearing glasses and a dull expression glided towards Amber.
"Nothing, nothing..." She said quickly, attempting to dry her eyes only to succeed in bringing forth a fresh wave of tears which had been threatening to spill out ever since she'd broken up with Remus.
"Is someone bullying you? That used to happen to me too," said the ghost thickly. Amber sniffed.
"No, it's just..." she sobbed. "God look at me! I'm pathetic, getting hysterical over a boy..." she grinned sadly, taking in her puffy, red eyes and dishevelled hair in the mirror.
"Oh. Well I never got to know much about boys. I died before I got the chance to date," the ghost sniffled, floating above the cistern on the U-bend.
"Sorry Myrtle, I bet I'm making you feel awful. But, you're right. There's more to life than boys," said Amber, drying her eyes.
"Tactless..." Myrtle shrieked, bursting into tears.
"Oh... I'm sorry, I'll go now," she said timidly, walking out of the toilets with a new found determination.
As the days got shorter and the nights grew longer, Autumn drew to an end on the Hogwarts grounds. James woke up to find the castle obscured by a dense fog; the only ground visible was gently frosted, like icing sugar on a cake. The beds were empty. Hmm, they left me, James grumbled, quickly dressing and heading towards the Great Hall in search of Remus, Sirius and Peter.
"So you finally woke up eh? Sleeping Beauty," Sirius grinned, nudging Peter and winking.
"You could've waited for me," James sat down next to Sirius, piling his plate with bacon, eggs and toast.
"Nah," Sirius shook his head.
"James." He looked up to see Lily sitting opposite him. James smiled at her. "Where've you been?" she said, her green eyes shimmered like emeralds.
"Sleepin," he replied, taking a bite of his toast.
Ok, don't look up, look at your plate. Now talk to Tiff, CALMLY. DON'T CRY. Breathe. Do not make eye contact of any kind. None. Ok...
Amber raised her eyes, taking care to look directly at Tiffany, and not to the right where Remus was sitting.
"You know Tiff, I've been hearing the strangest things about you," said Amber, forcing a grin.
"And I'd be right in guessing that they're bad things," said Tiff, silently cursing Ilianna Harman and all female Ravenclaw students.
"Well, it all depends on how you define 'bad'." said Amber, a smirk creeping over her face as she tried to picture Tiff with Sirius. Nope, not working at all, she thought. "If you call, and I quote from Miss Ilianna Lousiana Harman of Ravenclaw, 'snogging like a deprived prostitute with my poor darling little Sirius, who had not a chance to escape,'" she grinned as Tiff snorted, spitting out half her breakfast.
"Really?" said Tiff, recovering, only looking vaguely interested, and slightly amused. "So I see Ilianna has extended her vocabulary beyond the simple insults of 'bitch,' 'cow' and 'slag'. I am impressed." Tiff grinned mockingly. "Oi, Sirius." she shouted, across the table. "Do you know what I just heard? The strangest bloody rumour about me and you..." she grinned as he motioned for her to stop, his face turning slightly red.
"So you have heard the rumours." Amber grinned. "And do you admit to them?" she asked slyly.
"Absolutely no comment whatsoever," she said without a trace of emotion in her face suggesting otherwise.
"You know what that means," Amber laughed, her green eyes twinkling merrily for the first time in weeks. "Did you? I wont tell anyone," she said in an undertone, giggling.
Tiff gave her a sincere look, glanced at Sirius, then brought her gaze back to Amber. She took a sip of pumpkin juice and smiled neutrally.
"What do you think?" she said, her eyebrows raised suggestively as she rose from the table and walked out of the hall, winking at Amber and Sirius.
"Hi Tiff," a brown haired girl waved at her from the corridor.
"Hey Bella, I haven't seen you for ages," Tiff greeted the seventh year warmly. Arabella Figg was one of her close friends, almost like a big sister to her.
"I know, so how've you been? Whatcha been up to?" she asked, her brown eyes glinting mischievously.
"Hmm, rumours really do spread like wildfire," said Tiff, smiling secretively.
"About you and Sirius Black? I'm not surprised, that blonde girl's ever so jealous, you should watch out for her. She could destroy you," said Arabella wisely.
"You mean, Little Miss 'My Bust Is Bigger Than My Brain' Harman? I think not somehow. And by the way, she has nothing to be jealous of," said Tiff confidently.
"So that means..." Arabella raised her eyebrows, a sly smile creeping on to her slim face.
"You're a smart girl. Work it out," Tiff walked away, grinning at Arabella's confused look. Oh how she loved being mysterious...
* * *
"So, did you?"
"Yeah, tell us."
"No."
"Is that a 'no you didn't' or a 'no you wont tell us'?" squeaked Peter, his beady eyes darting from side-to-side excitedly.
"That's a 'no I wont tell you so don't even bother asking'," said Sirius bluntly. James and Peter grinned maliciously.
"Hahah, Sirius's got a crush on Tiiiiiiiiff," Peter chanted. Lily gave him a stern, silencing look, then promptly burst into giggles, unable to contain herself any longer.
"No I haven't!" said Sirius indignantly, glaring at the three of them. Remus stayed silent, smiling ever so slightly. Sirius frowned.
"What's wrong?" he asked Remus who was staring after Amber as she left the hall in search of Tiff.
"What? Oh, nothing..." he muttered, lowering his eyes.
"Sorry about you and Amber. She's really upset you hasn't she," said Sirius, for once being totally serious.
Lily spluttered into her juice. "Excuse me, but do you have any idea how she feels?" said Lily, indignantly.
"Ahem, Lil, I think it's best you keep out of this one," said James, tentatively placing his hand over hers.
"You're telling me what to do?" said Lily, quietly yet menacingly.
"No, no. Just advising you," he said quickly, knowing better than to get Lily into one of her 'feminist' moods.
She regarded him with piercing green eyes, then looked away, she smiled slightly. "I know you mean well Jamie, but... Remus, she's so unhappy." she said, gazing at Remus with sympathetic green eyes.
"I know..." he said quietly, blushing shamefully.
* * *
"I'm bored!" Sirius grunted to Remus, his eyes half closed as he lounged on the chair, desperately trying to escape from the intoxicating fumes which were wafting towards him from Professor Trelawney's fire. "We haven't pulled a prank for AGES," he sighed heavily, inhaling the scent of lavender and honeysuckle which was starting to make him dizzy.
"He's right," squeaked Peter.
"Hmm, we need James. He's been spending far too much time with Lily," said Remus thoughtfully.
"Yes, you're right. Oi James, c'mere," Sirius hissed at James who was sitting with Lily on a sofa. James pulled up a chair and looked at Sirius earnestly.
"What?" he asked. Peter smiled evilly.
"James, do you think that you could possibly dedicate just one day out of your busy, super-smoochie lifestyle, to us?" said Peter, his grey eyes looked pleadingly innocent as he pushed a lock of thin, sandy hair behind his ear.
James frowned slightly. "What do you mean?" he asked, clearly confused.
"James, we never get to see you anymore. Lily stole you away from us." Sirius glared jokingly at Lily. "We're the Marauders, and lately, we haven't been... well... marauding!" He exclaimed.
James twitched a little, feeling guilty. "Well, I suppose I have been neglecting you recently. Ok, who's up for a prank. A really big prank?" he said excitedly, grinning craftily.
"Yes!" shouted Remus and Peter.
"Shh, you are disturbing the clairvoyant vibrations of the room," hissed Professor Trelawney, looking displeased with the foursome.
"Is that the one in her head or the one on her chair?" said Tiff, very quietly so that only Amber, Lily, Remus, Sirius, Peter and James could hear her, as they were all sitting near each other. Sirius snorted and covered his mouth quickly to muffle the sound, James held a laugh in, looking like he would burst, Lily emitted a tinkering laugh whilst Amber, Remus and Peter grinned manically.
"I think she was talking about the one that went through the back door," Amber giggled. Tiff burst out laughing, only to receive an angry glare from Professor Trelawney.
"When some of the more juvenile students have quite finished, we will hear what Mr. Black sees in the depths of his crystal ball," she snapped, dropping her usual airy grace.
"Probably his crystal balls," smirked Tiff. Amber and Lily tried their hardest not to laugh. They chuckled quietly as Sirius peered into his *ahem* misty, crystal ball. A dreamy look came over Sirius' face.
"I see a shape." he said bluntly. All he really saw was mist, so as he was bored, he decided to make it up and amuse himself. Professor Trelawney smiled slightly.
"And what does it resemble? A person? An animal?" she suggested.
"An animal. It looks like a horse." Sirius caught Tiff's eye and grinned, remembering the train journey. "No, wait. There's two horses."
"And what are the horses doing?" she asked.
"Erm..." Sirius grinned evilly. "Well, one horse is half standing on top of the other one. No.. wait... now it's moving. Up and then back down again." The class started snickering whilst Professor Trelawney frowned.
"Now really, how childish!" she snapped. "Sit back down, and ten points from Gryffindor for your immaturity... honestly," she muttered angrily.
Sirius sat back down near Tiff who grinned and mouthed, "Good one." Amber, Lily and James raised their eyebrows suggestively.
"Ow that was my foot!"
"That was my eye!"
Four bodies shuffled out of the portrait hole and towards the Slytherin Common room, bound to each other by James's invisibility cloak. They stopped outside a blank wall near the dungeons.
"What's the password?" hissed Sirius.
"Mouldy Fort," said Peter, the stone wall slid open leaving a narrow gap.
"How do you know?" hissed Remus, accidentally stubbing his foot on the wall.
"I have my sources," Peter replied. The four of them made their way, silently towards the 5th year dormitory.
"Ok, Remus, Peter. You two stay here and keep lookout, if you hear anything come and tell us. We don't want to get caught." said James, recovering him and Sirius with the cloak.
"Ok," they whispered. James and Sirius crept into the room, in which four boys lay sound asleep behind the dense green curtains on the four poster beds. They tiptoed up to one of the beds.
"Is it his?" whispered Sirius, James pulled back the curtain a couple of inches.
"Yep," James grinned, squinting at the sleeping form of Severus Snape; greasy hair all over the place, and his mouth wide open, snoring gently.
Sirius rummaged through the drawers in the bedside table. He smirked triumphantly.
"Got 'em," he held up a pair of white underpants, smiling evilly.
"Brilliant, now, just one last thing." James took out a red marker pen; the name 'Zonko's Original' gleamed bright silver in the moonlight. James bent over Snape for a minute, then turned to Sirius grinninng his old manic smile.
"What did you do?" asked Sirius, moving to get a closer look. His breath caught in his throat as he fought hard not to laugh. He looked at James, his whole body shaking with mirth. "That's great, but wont he just wash it off in the morning?" he chuckled silently.
"Nope, it's a form of invisible ink. Only invisible to the beholder of course. When he looks in the mirror he wont notice a thing, but we will." James snickered, Snape stirred in his sleep. "Come on, lets go." They walked out and collected Remus and Peter.
"Did you do it?" asked Remus.
"Sure did, and Jamie added a little extra feature," said Sirius grinned from under the cloak.
"Which was...?"
"Wait until breakfast tomorrow." he winked.
"Tomorrow's Halloween," said Peter as they left the dungeons and entered the Great Hall.
"Sure is, right, time for part B." James pulled out his wand pointed it at the pants. "Engorgio," he whispered as they expanded to the size of a cloak. He magically attached the underpants to the Slytherin banner. James raised his wand again and muttered, "Ecrivus." Silver writing appeared above the pants, contrasting brightly with the green flag. Sirius and Remus snorted.
"I can't wait for morning," said Sirius dreamily. They made their way back towards the Gryffindor tower, narrowly avoiding Flich and Mrs. Norris in the corridor.
"Ahhh, Morning Sirius." said Tiff, staggering down the stairs into the common room. "Morning Remus, Peter, Ja... Ja... Jaaaaaames," she yawned, stretching gracefully.
"Good morning Tiffany," said Sirius politely, unable to wipe the smile off his face.
"What've you done?" She glanced down at her clothes and touched her hair quickly.
"Nothing, well... something," he grinned wickedly, winking at James.
"Ok, something being...?" said Tiff expectantly.
"Tell Lily and Amber to hurry up. We don't want them to miss this." James smiled secretively. Tiff frowned slightly, then turned and ran up the stairs to find Lily.
A minute later she returned dragging a disgruntled Amber and an inquisitive Lily.
"Morning darling." James scooped Lily up in his arms and gave her a quick kiss. Lily regarded him with curious green eyes.
"Morning. So, what's the big thing that you can't wait to show me?" she asked.
"Well, now that you're all here... come on." James grabbed Lily's hand and dragged her out of the common room, towards the Great Hall.
"You'll love this..." said Sirius to Tiff and Amber.
"What've you done?" Amber exclaimed, looking at the crowd of laughing students ahead.
"Yeah Sirius? Oh my god! It's not about me is it?" Tiff panicked.
"No, of course not. You really think I'm that evil?" he said, giving her a lopsided grin.
"Just curious," she raised her eyebrows and gave him a cute smile.
"All of you remember though, we knew nothing about it at all," said Remus, his eyes meeting Amber's briefly.
The seven of them entered the hall together, and promptly sat down at the Gryffindor table. Everyone was laughing, even Professor Dumbledore and McGonagall who rarely even smiled. Sirius leant towards Tiff and whispered, "Look up." She did and immediately noticed the large white, erm, thing? obscuring the Slytherin dragon. Tiff stared at it for several long seconds then burst out laughing. Lily and Amber looked at her, confused. She pointed upwards, snickering, then read the writing.
"The slimy, greasy haired person who these belong to shall remain nameless. Some Naughty Animals Poo Everywhere." The whole hall erupted with laughter again, Tiff grinned at Sirius and James.
"Brilliant," she mouthed, shaking her head incredulously. She looked up again and furrowed her brow, noticing an image and writing on the underpants. Tiff squinted upwards, then giggled. The picture on the underpants, correction, Y fronts, was of a unicorn's head, directly on the crotch. "Use the Horn?!?!?" she read, chuckling and shaking her head again. "Unbelievable. How on earth did you get them?" she asked Remus.
"Aha, a true Marauder never reveals his secrets," he said mysteriously.
"Ok then. So has the owner actually seen this yet?" She looked around the Hall for Snape's distinguishably greasy head. He was nowhere to be seen.
"I don't think so. He's a heavy sleeper." Sirius grinned. At that moment, the room fell silent as Severus Snape walked in with his roommates, Bartok Parkinson, Rodregus Flint and Iain McKinsky. There was a long moment in which everyone stared at; Snape, Snape's sniggering friends, and Snape's forehead which read, "SPANK ME HARD!" After a brief silence, everyone started laughing again, many people were openly pointing at his forehead. Snape looked around, bewildered. Tiffany actually felt sorry for him. His eyes darted to the ceiling, and he finally saw the banner. Snape went very red and gazed around the room, his eyes narrowing to evil looking slits as he saw James and Sirius laughing hard. He dashed across the hall, knocking several students to the floor.
"Potter!" he shouted, pulling out his wand and glaring furiously at a shocked James.
"Yes Severus?" said James politely, not a trace of a grin on his face. "Is there anything you'd like me to do? Or is that question too HARD for you?" said James seriously. Lily and Amber collapsed into giggles whilst Tiff and Sirius both tried to keep straight faces.
"You..." said Snape menacingly, he pointed his wand at James' throat.
"Yes Severus, me...?" said James, grinning slyly.
"You... did this..." hissed Snape, his face contorted with rage. James frowned.
"You think I did this? Oh no, no, no my dear friend, not at all, not at all," his voice dripped with sarcasm. Snape's eyes looked ready to pop out his head.
"James," Lily placed a hand on his arm protectively, staring at Snape coldly, as though daring him to do something.
"I'll get you for this Potter. Make no mistake of that," Snape turned on the heel and strode out of the Hall, tripping on the hem of his robes as he reached the door, then storming off angrily.
There was a long silence in which glances were traded and the quiet snickering grew louder.
"Well he's not a happy bunny," laughed Sirius.
"Potter. Black. Are you two responsible for this?" Professor McGonagall asked solemnly, they stopped giggling immediately.
Sirius put on a cheeky smile.
"Us? Of course not Professor, honestly. What do you take us for? Fools?" he exclaimed, his blue eyes large and innocent.
She gave them a sceptic look, then walked back to the staff table without another word. They breathed a sigh of relief.
"Phew. I thought she had us then," said James nervously.
"Well done Sirius. You had the innocent look perfect there," Tiff grinned.
"Thanks," Sirius winked, and raised his glass in a mock toast. "To Severus Snape's unicorn Y fronts!" he said dramatically. They all raised their glasses, sombre looks on their faces.
"Severus Snape's Unicorn Y fronts," they drank deeply from their goblets of iced pumpkin juice, snorting with laughter.
"Happy Halloween!" Amber grinned merrily.