Night #2: The Wizard of Oz...

Enter, stage right...

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The Oracle of the 4 gods...

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Once upon a time, there lived a miko—

Miaka: *bouncing up and down* *waving* Hiiii~~~!!!

*sweatdrop* —who had a brother and a set of parents… Anyhow, this miko's family's livelihood came from looking after chibi suzaku-chickens—

(Suzaku: *twitch* Chibi… *twitch* Suzaku… *twitch* *twitch* -CHICKENS?!?!)

*grins as she brings out 'Authoress certificate of Creative License'*
Now, these chibi suzaku-chickens lived under the house – how's that possible? Don't ask… Why am I telling this…? Take note, it'll come back later…
Anyhow, it just so happened that while everyone was away, a freak whirlwind came and caught their house up to transport it to another world…

Miaka: *in the van, pointing upwards* Look, okaa-san… Isn't that our house flying in the air…?

Mother: *nodding* Yes, dear…

Father: *shaking his head* Kids and their imagination nowadays…

Matte, matte – Miaka, aren't *you* supposed to be in the house…?!?!

Miaka: *blink* I am…?

*long sigh* *grits teeth* Yes. You. Are.

Miaka: Oh… um… anou…

*loudspeaker in hand* REWIND!!
Anyhow, it *just* so happened that while everyone was away – EXCEPT OUR MIKO – a freak whirlwind came and caught their house up to transport it to another world…

Miaka: *in flying house* Whee…!! I'm a flying chibi suzaku-chicken – *stomach growls* which reminds me, I'm hungry… *dreamily* Hmm… roasted chibi suzaku-chicken with mashed potatoes and—

(Suzaku: *wailing* It's not fair… It's not faaair!! Genbu's snappish, Byakko's untouchable and Seiryuu's temperamental – why do *I* always play the guy getting pushed over…?!?! Even my *miko* wants to *EAT* me…!!)

As luck would have it, our miko soon fell asleep as the light rocking of the house rocked her into la-la land…

*THUD*

Oi, I said *light* rocking…!!

House: And I say I have had enough of light rocking… It's time I came down for a rough landing… Stars, houses were never made for flying – I think I need to—

Oi, oi…!! Not in front of the kids, ne…?!?!

House: *hic* Oops, sorry…

The sudden jolt of the house woke our dear miko from her nap…

Miaka: *snore* Just 5 more minutes, 'kay…?

*whack* No, no more 5 minutes – I'm running out of time as it is…!!

Miaka: *sporting extra odango* *grumble* *grumble* Baka authoress-sama…

The young miko stepped out of her house to wonder what strange world had she landed in—

Miaka: *tummy rumbling* Hmm… does anyone know where I can get breakfast…?

*sweatdrop*

Well, it seemed that *everyone* wanted to give her breakfast, for they were chirpy, happy, sugar-high munchki—

Nyan-nyans: We chirpy! We happy! We sugar-high munchkin nyan-nyans!! *bounds over to Miaka* You hungry? We feed! We feed!! We thank miko for killing the Wicked Witch of the East…!!

Miaka: *halfway past chocolate-bar-of-the-morning* What Wicked Witch of the East…?

Voice: *THIS* Wicked Witch of the East…!!

By some miraculous gesture, the house was lifted halfway by the Wicked Witch of the East's faithful hound—

Ashitare: *pant* *pant* *growl* ^__^ ß *happy to be included in story*

—to reveal a disheveled-looking hag-witc—

Soi: *eyes flashing* Oi, who are you calling a hag-witch…?!?!

*cowers* *only fingers seen above table top* Um… a… disheveled-looking… pretty sorceress…?

Soi: Hmph, much better…

Anyhow, Soi-Wicked-Witch-of-the-East, aren't you… you know… supposed to be dead…?

Soi: *growl* And just who is going to make m—

Just then, the all powerful, all beautiful Good Witch of the South appeared and knocked our poor old Wicked Witch of the East into the dirt, to which she landed in a pile of chibi suzaku-chicken poop (see…! I *told* you the fact that we had chibi suzaku-chickens underneath the house would come back…!!) and died instantly… again…

(Suzaku: *sniffle* A c-chicken…!! She called me a *chicken*…!!)

Nuriko: *dusting hands* That should teach her, trying to protect the man who killed my Hori indeed…

Oi, FYI, that *was* Soi's most intimate moment with Naka-chan—

Nuriko: *grin* Oh? And not that time when they were in be—

NURIKO!! Not in front of the KIDS!!

Nuriko: Ah, gomen, gomen…

Miaka: *fidgets* Are we getting back to the story any time soon…?

Oh yes… Anyhow, now that breakfast was done, and our miko knew who the Wicked Witch of the East was (saa… that's a very long title to type, no da…!!), the Good Witch of the South proceeded to explain her mission if she wanted to go home—

Miaka: *mumbles around pancakes* But I don't wanna go home… These munchkin nyan-nyans *really* know how to make good food…

*sweatdrop*
NURIKO!!

Nuriko: Who-what-where-when…? Oh…! *commanding* MIAKA!! You *must* go home…!! With you gone, Hori will come back to mwe~~~

Um… that's not how the script goes, Nuri-chan…

Nuriko: *blink* It isn't…? B-but… Hori won't even look at me with Mi-chan here…!! *wails*

*sigh* There, there, Nuri-chan… Authoress-sama'll make it up to you, na…?

Nuriko: *sniffle* P-promise…? *sees authoress nod* O-okay… *sniff* *ahem* Miaka… you must miss your family very much…

Miaka: *narrows eyes* Not really… ever had an annoying brother that makes you wanna wring his neck…?

Nuriko: *thinks of Rokou* Hmm, now that you mentioned it…

Would you two just get it over with already…?!?!

Miaka: *sigh* *ahem* Um… y-yes… I really miss my family *sniff*…

Nuriko: Then you must find the Oracle of the 4 gods…!! She'll find you a way home (if she doesn't scar you for life with her looks, that is… *hand to cheek* Ooh, I'm so shameless with my vanity…)!! Asides, you have to take the first Shinzaho from the Wicked Witch of the East, and—

Nyan-nyan #43: Follow the yellow brick road…!!

Nyan-nyan #91, #32, #75: Follow the yellow brick road…!!

Nyan-nyan #I-can't-count-anymore: Follow, follow, follow the yellow brick road…!!

Miaka: *scratches head* Eto… why should I follow the yellow brick road…?

Nuriko: *eye twitch* Because that's how you get to the Oracle of the 4 gods…!! *slaps forehead* *sweatdrop* THIS was my miko…?!?!

Miaka: *ignoring all around her* Oh… I guess I should follow the yellow brick road then…

Nyan-nyans: Yay! You heard – we help! We help! We feed!! We—aiyee…!!

Nuriko: *flexes arm* Aah… Now I know how that whatizname oracle feels to make 'em nyan-nyans fly… It *is* stress relieving…

*slow nod* Ri-ight… Now that *that's* out of the way…
And so, our beloved miko, laden with goodies from the nyan-nyan munchkins and armed with the Genbu Shinzaho, began following the yello—(readers: WE KNOW ALREADY!!)—okay, okay…!! *ahem* And on her way, she stopped to rest her feet by a fence…

Miaka: *massaging toe* Itai~~~Hmph, I guess I shouldn't have come out in my bunny-slippers, ne…?

Voice: *muffled* My word, what in Konan's *empire* IS that smell…?

Miaka: *turns around* Eh…?

And what should her pretty eyes see, but a perfect genius, cowering his nose – one, two, thre—(*sweatdrop* I really should read my original storylines before typing these things…)

Miaka: *shrieks* Evil genius, evil genius – kill it! Kill it! Kill it!!

Chiriko: *miffed* I assure you, dear lady, I am no evil person… *blush* Though… um… I am much a genius, thank you very much…

Now our miko, seemingly never seen a genius before, let alone ones that *blush* so sweetly, so became very intereste—

Miaka: *hugging genius like there's no tomorrow* Anou, totemo kawaii desu~~~

Chiriko: *turning blue* C-can't. B-breathe. M-miko-sa-ma…

Miaka: Eh…? *lets go* Aah…!! Gomen ne, genius-san… Daijoubu…?

Chiriko: D-daijoubu… And my name is Chiriko… *blinks* Ne, miko-sama… where are you planning on going with 60 bags of sugar and a rubber ducky besides…?

'Rubby ducky': *grr* I am *NOT* a rubber ducky…!! I am a *dun dun dun* SUPER CHIBI SUZAKU-CHICKEN!!!

(authoress-sama cannot stop laughing at this)
(*suzaku seen flooding the heavens and beyond…*)

Miaka: I'm going to see the oracle…! *sigh* I have to ask her to send me home…

Chiriko: *bright eyed* Hontou…? *sniff* You're so lucky… I wish I could go see the oracle…

Miaka: *chewing on a bag of sugar* Hmm…? Um… would you like to come with me…? You could ask her for something too…

Chiriko: *brighter eyed* Sugoi na…!! I could finally ask her for the Tolkien collection I lost during 'The three little seishi'…!!

Miaka: *sweatdrop* Um… that *is* possible…

So, the miko and the Chiriko continued to follow the yello—you know what I'm talking about…!! A little while later, they came upon a man completely covered in goo—

Man-completely-covered-in-goo: Dlmph-spths…

Miaka: *turning to Chiriko* Bless you…

Chiriko: *sniffle* Arigato, miko-sama… demo… I don't think it was me…

Miaka: Nani…?

Man-completely-covered-in-goo: Umbkth-dph *sweatdrop*…

Miaka: Look, Chiriko… There's a man completely covered in goo… We just *have* to help him somehow…!!

Chiriko: *inspecting the greenish substance* Hmm… it seems to me to be some sort of adhesive substance of high polymer quality…

All present: *blink* *blink* Um… in chinoz kudasai…?

Chiriko: *sweatdrop* I think it's glue, miko-sama…

Miaka: Glue…? Hey…!! Kazumi-sensei always said that only one thing can wash glue off—

Man-completely-covered-in-goo: *wide-eyed* Umphtd-nbfh-dhphtm!!

Miaka: *hurls magically-appearing-bucket-of-water-from-random-plothole* WATER!!

*SPLASH*

Tasuki: *splutter* *splutter* *splat* Oi, baka onna – what did you do THAT for…?!?!

Chriko: *deadpan* You're welcome, I'm sure…

Tasuki: *grr* Shaddap…!!

Miaka: *unfazed* Hi, I'm Miaka, this is Chiriko, and we're off to see the Oracle of the 4 gods… Um… *blink* why were you covered in glue, Goo-san…?

Tasuki: The name's Tasuki, not GOO-san…!! And I was f*ckin' dumped in that icky stuff 'coz my fren Kouji's on a practical fool's spree…!! *muttering to himself* When I get my hands on him, I'll REKKA SHI—d*mn, I lost my tessen…!!

Chiriko: You lost something, Goo-san…? (Tasuki: I am *NOT* GOO-SAN…!!) Well… Miaka's going to ask the Oracle for her lost home, and I'm going to regain my lost wish (by the way, *why* do you seem so familiar… Have I seen you before in 'The three little seishi'…?). Perhaps you could come with us to recover your lost item, ne…?

Tasuki: *sighs dreamily* If she's that good, I might as well recover more than just a lost tessen… *drools* One hot, tsubasa-owned kawaii monk with poofy bangs, no da ©…

(O-kay… so authoress-sama isn't the *only* one who's gotten that nickname copyrighted now…)
So, the miko, Chiriko and Goo-san—(Tasuki: I AM *NOT* GOO-SAN!!)—*giggle* ah, Tasuki were off once again. Now, it wouldn't do for us to leave behind important characters, so it came to be that they met with their last member of the band—

Voice: Halt! Or I'll… I'll… um…

Chiriko: *researching 'The Wizard of Oz'* Lemme guess… the cowardly lion…?

Tamahome: *dressed in a loin-cloth-and-little-else* I'm not cowardly, and I'm most definitely NOT a lion…!! I'll run you through with a sword, but all I have is this... this—*waves a twig threateningly*—because... b-because...

Tasuki: Because what, obake-chan…?

Tamahome: *suddenly breaks down* I lost all my O-KA-NE...!! I can't pay for a decent sword or get a set of decent clothes, alright...?!?! *wails*

Miaka: *sigh* *hugs Tamahome* Maa maa… I'm Miaka, that's Chiriko, and the juvenile delinquent over there with his fangy-smirk is Tasuki… *pat* *pat* We're going to see the Oracle of the 4 gods to regain our lost things – would you like to come…?

Tamahome: *sniff* Would the Oracle be able to give me back my money…?

Miaka: *sweatdrop* *grumble* Do you think of anything else, ba-ka…

~ End Part I ~

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Aoi Akiko rambles:

Eto... this chapter's getting too long, so Akiko decided to split the story into 2 parts... Hope this is alright with all of you...! ^o^ Part II of 'The Oracle of the 4 gods' should be right up, minna...!!