===================================================================================================
Bishounen Senshi Gundam Wing: Phase Shift Remix
===================================================================================================
Chapter 03: Heero's Bizarre Fascination with the Ocean
Zer0Kataru: Last time, our he(e)ro, Quatre Raberba Winner, randomly killed a bunch of civilians despite the fact he's not an American... Duo will get his revenge on the Arab later... And we saw what was going on with the other pilots who acted way too much like news reporters. I'd say that's about it, so let's see what's up with Heero and his ocean-y demise...
Disclaimer_Bot: Hands up everyone who DOESN'T own Gundam Wing, Final Fantasy VIII, Blackheart's jokes, Tongue-Fu/Lick-Slapping or anything else mentioned in this fic?
Zer0Kataru: *jumps up and down with hand up* OOH! OOH! ME! PICK ME! PICK ME!
(Cut to a Random Spaceport)
Relena & Mr. Darlian get off their shuttle, the crowds of paparazzi are backing away and falling due to the deadly combination of drunken punches and "sweet" smiles. Darlian is soon restrained by military personnel and makes a short, drunken speech to Relena, then falls unconcious due to Relena's attack of a smile and is driven away. Relena walks to the beach and makes a long speech about her birthday and the military, then spots Heero. She tries to jump the fence (and fails miserably... for half an hour) until Heero says "...There's a gate... And it's conveniently NOT LOCKED!" Relena promptly takes his advice and tries to open the gate... But fails. Heero sighs, gets up, opens the gate for her, then walks back and lies in his original position. Relena walks over, gasps overdramatically and makes YET ANOTHER excessively long speech about Alliance soldiers and small children (...that didn't come out right, did it?). She takes off Heero's helment, and he recoils back in the Heero Dance position, shrieking "DON'T TOUCH ME!", murmuring "...Did you see...?" after he calms down, Relena responding with "...Duh, you're wearing spandex and you were repeatedly moaning the word 'Duo' in your sleep..." from a dirty mind, which is rplied to by a slap in the face and a quick flip off. Relena says "Sorry... I'll call an ambulance... Not that you need medical attention" quickly, and on cue (without her calling for it), an ambulance arrives and paramedics file out wearing mats (you know those kind they land on during high-jump? like those, but small enough to wear). Heero, very scriptedly, jumps over the (now familiar) gate and strikes a fancy kung-fu pose after licking both his palms, screaming "B3W4R3 T3H P0W44 0F T0NGU3-FU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111one". Duo, Wu Fei and Duet all appear on the screen borders wearing silk shirts and floofy pants and chorus:
"And everybody was"
Heero runs up to the first paramedic, jumps in the air and delivers a fancy spin-kick to the head, finishing off with a slap from a licked hand
"TONGUE-FU FIGHTING!"
As Heero lands, he leg sweeps the next guy off-balance and uses the other licked hand for a slap so powerful it knocks the other guy off the staircase
"Those cats were fAsT aS LigHtNINING!"
Heero bolts to the ambulance, kicks the door down and Yuy Death-Glare(TM)'s the driver who happens to be toting an assault rifle. Exasperated by his Yuy Death-Glare(TM)'s ineffectiveness, Heero lick-slaps the driver right out of the vehicle in way-cool fashion (breaking through the other door) and drives off with his leg sticking out.
In his dust, Wu Fei, Duet and Duo scatter as Relena extends her hand and says "My name is Relena.. er... *flips coin* *tails* Darlian... What's yours?" Soon, we hear Heero scream from his shiny new ambulance: "Dude! Where's my Gundam!?"
(cut to a random classroom)
An old-ish woman drags Heero into the room, (think when Rinoa drags Squall onto the dance floor during the inauguration ball... but...) said Fake-Japanese Boy not wearing uniform, but his classic green muscle-shirt and spandex, as well as handcuffs and any amount of kinky accessories your dirty minds can think of (Heero Fangirls/...Boys: *drool*). Everyone in the room admires Heero, their eyes trailing from his gruff face, to his relatively revealed built chest, to his Trowa-like (i.e non-existant) ass (Heero Fan...People: Can we drool again yet? Zer0Kataru: ...Not yet.), some people going as far as to lick their lips. The teacher, after clearing her throat to regain order in the room, says "Class, we have a new *cough*hot*cough* student today. Would you care to introduce yourself?" Heero, feeling uneasy from all the sexual-predatorial looks everyone is giving him, murmurs "The name's Heero Yuy. It's a pleasure," in his low, purring voice. (Zer0Kataru:... Now. Heero Fanpeople: *drool, some faint, some have epileptic seizures*) He walks over to sit next to relena under the teacher's instructions, Relena suggestively wriggling her eyebrows and licking her lips. Heero, of course, being his asexual self, doesn't understand and instead looks straight forward.
(cut to the balcony)
Heero leans on the railing, and the camera (fan-service style) zooms in on his face, accentuating his 508B-7 D American
Anthem Blue eyes, (Yes, that's his real eye color. They compared it to paint chips at Home Depot. http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=734191&chapter=7 for proof) and making his hair sway in the wind in impossible fashion compared to the movement of his clothes. (Heero Fanpeople: *swoon*) This is interrupted by the tell-tale noise of Relena's groupies sucking up to above princess. (Heero Fanpeople: :O) Relena approaches Heero and hands him an envelope, saying "It's an invitation to my birthday party. I hope you'll be able to ma~," cut off, of course, by the lovely sound of Heero ripping the envelope in half in WAY cool fashion, and Relena starts crying. (Heero Fanpeople: *cheer*) Heero contemplates wiping Relena's tears away. Let's take a look inside his mind, shall we?
Guy that looks like Heero #1: It's in the script! Do it!
Guy that looks like Heero #2: But she's CONTAGIOUS!
Guy 1: DO IT!
Guy 2: Script or health?
Guy 1: We won't get paid if we don't!
Guy 2: Ratings will go up if we don't!
Guy 1: ...I'm sold.
Guy 2: Good! Then shall we?
Guy 1: Yes.
Guy 2: I like swords!
Guy 1: Welcome to Corneria!
Guy 2: I like swords!
Guy 1: Welcome to Corneria!
Guy 2: I like swords!
Guy 1: Welcome to Corneria!
Guy 2: I like swords!
Guy 1: Welcome to Corneria!
Guy 2: I like swords!
Guy 1: Welcome to Corneria!
Guy 2: I like swords!
Guy 1: Welcome to Corneria!
Guy 2: I like swords!
Guy 1: Welcome to Corneria!
Guy 2: I like swords!
Guy 1: Welcome to Corneria!
Guy 2: I like swords!
Guy 1: Welcome to Corneria!
Guy 2: I like swords!
Guy 1: Welcome to Corneria!
Guy 3: Urge to destroy world rising...
...Ok... Let's just leave it at that. Either way...
Heero makes up his mind, lick-slaps Relena, says "Omae o korosu," and walks away in waaaaaaay-cool fashion. Relena's spotlight moves away towards Heero, and we hear a loud "THUD!"
A/N: Too short for the amount of time it's taken. And Quatre wasn't in this ep. Oh well, this chapter's titled about Heero. It's late, I need to post. But I swear I will post one chapter a week. Oh, and BTW, should I post the sequel to this fic or should it wait until this fic gains some popularity or finishes? (I want to post because I need to get a Gundam SeeD fanfic up before Gundam SeeD becomes popular in the US; I need to claim Mairyuu as MINE before anyone else does :D)
Zer0Kataru: So, now that I've written enough Heero description for the whole fic, am I going to describe all the other G-Boyz in such anal detail? Will Guy 3 destroy the world? Will Quatre EVER get off his Zero high? Does Guy 2 REALLY like swords? Don't we all? Is Mairyuu mine? (yes) Do I overuse the term "way-cool?" Since we know Heero's exact eye color, will we ever know Duo's? Were those cats REALLY as fast as lightning? All this, give or take some, in the Chapter 4 of Bishounen Senshi Gundam Wing Phase Shift Remix: Quatre Wants To See Trowa Again So He Can Kill Him! You'd better get ready!
----------------------------------------
Replies to Reviews ^_^
Kouhikouryuu - Yes, parodies are healthy for you. Very nutritious. And what is "(DS)hell"? ...Do you mean deathscythe hell? If so, I don't get the joke o_O
Yume Keki - Now, here's the reason everyone hated me... I corrected every little mistake they made... And despite you being my first ever loyal reader, I tried to resist it, but the temptation got the most of me: To "increase" a daily sugar dosage is to increase the size of a sugar dosage, meaning you have to take more sugar to get high (sugar is bad for your teeth too), so I believe you mean "fulfils" your daily sugar dosage... Gomen nasai for correcting you, but it's my nature (and why I like having penpals who speak Engrish)...
----------------------------------------
===================================================================================================
To Be Continued
===================================================================================================
Bishounen Senshi Gundam Wing: Phase Shift Remix
===================================================================================================
Chapter 03: Heero's Bizarre Fascination with the Ocean
Zer0Kataru: Last time, our he(e)ro, Quatre Raberba Winner, randomly killed a bunch of civilians despite the fact he's not an American... Duo will get his revenge on the Arab later... And we saw what was going on with the other pilots who acted way too much like news reporters. I'd say that's about it, so let's see what's up with Heero and his ocean-y demise...
Disclaimer_Bot: Hands up everyone who DOESN'T own Gundam Wing, Final Fantasy VIII, Blackheart's jokes, Tongue-Fu/Lick-Slapping or anything else mentioned in this fic?
Zer0Kataru: *jumps up and down with hand up* OOH! OOH! ME! PICK ME! PICK ME!
(Cut to a Random Spaceport)
Relena & Mr. Darlian get off their shuttle, the crowds of paparazzi are backing away and falling due to the deadly combination of drunken punches and "sweet" smiles. Darlian is soon restrained by military personnel and makes a short, drunken speech to Relena, then falls unconcious due to Relena's attack of a smile and is driven away. Relena walks to the beach and makes a long speech about her birthday and the military, then spots Heero. She tries to jump the fence (and fails miserably... for half an hour) until Heero says "...There's a gate... And it's conveniently NOT LOCKED!" Relena promptly takes his advice and tries to open the gate... But fails. Heero sighs, gets up, opens the gate for her, then walks back and lies in his original position. Relena walks over, gasps overdramatically and makes YET ANOTHER excessively long speech about Alliance soldiers and small children (...that didn't come out right, did it?). She takes off Heero's helment, and he recoils back in the Heero Dance position, shrieking "DON'T TOUCH ME!", murmuring "...Did you see...?" after he calms down, Relena responding with "...Duh, you're wearing spandex and you were repeatedly moaning the word 'Duo' in your sleep..." from a dirty mind, which is rplied to by a slap in the face and a quick flip off. Relena says "Sorry... I'll call an ambulance... Not that you need medical attention" quickly, and on cue (without her calling for it), an ambulance arrives and paramedics file out wearing mats (you know those kind they land on during high-jump? like those, but small enough to wear). Heero, very scriptedly, jumps over the (now familiar) gate and strikes a fancy kung-fu pose after licking both his palms, screaming "B3W4R3 T3H P0W44 0F T0NGU3-FU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111one". Duo, Wu Fei and Duet all appear on the screen borders wearing silk shirts and floofy pants and chorus:
"And everybody was"
Heero runs up to the first paramedic, jumps in the air and delivers a fancy spin-kick to the head, finishing off with a slap from a licked hand
"TONGUE-FU FIGHTING!"
As Heero lands, he leg sweeps the next guy off-balance and uses the other licked hand for a slap so powerful it knocks the other guy off the staircase
"Those cats were fAsT aS LigHtNINING!"
Heero bolts to the ambulance, kicks the door down and Yuy Death-Glare(TM)'s the driver who happens to be toting an assault rifle. Exasperated by his Yuy Death-Glare(TM)'s ineffectiveness, Heero lick-slaps the driver right out of the vehicle in way-cool fashion (breaking through the other door) and drives off with his leg sticking out.
In his dust, Wu Fei, Duet and Duo scatter as Relena extends her hand and says "My name is Relena.. er... *flips coin* *tails* Darlian... What's yours?" Soon, we hear Heero scream from his shiny new ambulance: "Dude! Where's my Gundam!?"
(cut to a random classroom)
An old-ish woman drags Heero into the room, (think when Rinoa drags Squall onto the dance floor during the inauguration ball... but...) said Fake-Japanese Boy not wearing uniform, but his classic green muscle-shirt and spandex, as well as handcuffs and any amount of kinky accessories your dirty minds can think of (Heero Fangirls/...Boys: *drool*). Everyone in the room admires Heero, their eyes trailing from his gruff face, to his relatively revealed built chest, to his Trowa-like (i.e non-existant) ass (Heero Fan...People: Can we drool again yet? Zer0Kataru: ...Not yet.), some people going as far as to lick their lips. The teacher, after clearing her throat to regain order in the room, says "Class, we have a new *cough*hot*cough* student today. Would you care to introduce yourself?" Heero, feeling uneasy from all the sexual-predatorial looks everyone is giving him, murmurs "The name's Heero Yuy. It's a pleasure," in his low, purring voice. (Zer0Kataru:... Now. Heero Fanpeople: *drool, some faint, some have epileptic seizures*) He walks over to sit next to relena under the teacher's instructions, Relena suggestively wriggling her eyebrows and licking her lips. Heero, of course, being his asexual self, doesn't understand and instead looks straight forward.
(cut to the balcony)
Heero leans on the railing, and the camera (fan-service style) zooms in on his face, accentuating his 508B-7 D American
Anthem Blue eyes, (Yes, that's his real eye color. They compared it to paint chips at Home Depot. http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=734191&chapter=7 for proof) and making his hair sway in the wind in impossible fashion compared to the movement of his clothes. (Heero Fanpeople: *swoon*) This is interrupted by the tell-tale noise of Relena's groupies sucking up to above princess. (Heero Fanpeople: :O) Relena approaches Heero and hands him an envelope, saying "It's an invitation to my birthday party. I hope you'll be able to ma~," cut off, of course, by the lovely sound of Heero ripping the envelope in half in WAY cool fashion, and Relena starts crying. (Heero Fanpeople: *cheer*) Heero contemplates wiping Relena's tears away. Let's take a look inside his mind, shall we?
Guy that looks like Heero #1: It's in the script! Do it!
Guy that looks like Heero #2: But she's CONTAGIOUS!
Guy 1: DO IT!
Guy 2: Script or health?
Guy 1: We won't get paid if we don't!
Guy 2: Ratings will go up if we don't!
Guy 1: ...I'm sold.
Guy 2: Good! Then shall we?
Guy 1: Yes.
Guy 2: I like swords!
Guy 1: Welcome to Corneria!
Guy 2: I like swords!
Guy 1: Welcome to Corneria!
Guy 2: I like swords!
Guy 1: Welcome to Corneria!
Guy 2: I like swords!
Guy 1: Welcome to Corneria!
Guy 2: I like swords!
Guy 1: Welcome to Corneria!
Guy 2: I like swords!
Guy 1: Welcome to Corneria!
Guy 2: I like swords!
Guy 1: Welcome to Corneria!
Guy 2: I like swords!
Guy 1: Welcome to Corneria!
Guy 2: I like swords!
Guy 1: Welcome to Corneria!
Guy 2: I like swords!
Guy 1: Welcome to Corneria!
Guy 3: Urge to destroy world rising...
...Ok... Let's just leave it at that. Either way...
Heero makes up his mind, lick-slaps Relena, says "Omae o korosu," and walks away in waaaaaaay-cool fashion. Relena's spotlight moves away towards Heero, and we hear a loud "THUD!"
A/N: Too short for the amount of time it's taken. And Quatre wasn't in this ep. Oh well, this chapter's titled about Heero. It's late, I need to post. But I swear I will post one chapter a week. Oh, and BTW, should I post the sequel to this fic or should it wait until this fic gains some popularity or finishes? (I want to post because I need to get a Gundam SeeD fanfic up before Gundam SeeD becomes popular in the US; I need to claim Mairyuu as MINE before anyone else does :D)
Zer0Kataru: So, now that I've written enough Heero description for the whole fic, am I going to describe all the other G-Boyz in such anal detail? Will Guy 3 destroy the world? Will Quatre EVER get off his Zero high? Does Guy 2 REALLY like swords? Don't we all? Is Mairyuu mine? (yes) Do I overuse the term "way-cool?" Since we know Heero's exact eye color, will we ever know Duo's? Were those cats REALLY as fast as lightning? All this, give or take some, in the Chapter 4 of Bishounen Senshi Gundam Wing Phase Shift Remix: Quatre Wants To See Trowa Again So He Can Kill Him! You'd better get ready!
----------------------------------------
Replies to Reviews ^_^
Kouhikouryuu - Yes, parodies are healthy for you. Very nutritious. And what is "(DS)hell"? ...Do you mean deathscythe hell? If so, I don't get the joke o_O
Yume Keki - Now, here's the reason everyone hated me... I corrected every little mistake they made... And despite you being my first ever loyal reader, I tried to resist it, but the temptation got the most of me: To "increase" a daily sugar dosage is to increase the size of a sugar dosage, meaning you have to take more sugar to get high (sugar is bad for your teeth too), so I believe you mean "fulfils" your daily sugar dosage... Gomen nasai for correcting you, but it's my nature (and why I like having penpals who speak Engrish)...
----------------------------------------
===================================================================================================
To Be Continued
===================================================================================================