ER VS. THE INFESTATION OF JEFFERY By Cassi & Sven (evilspoofauthors2&1)
***********************************************************************
DISCLAIMER: We do not own them....nor do we own Jeffery, much to our utter dismay...
although like the raptors, his name and personality belong to us. The ER docs, only belong
to us when they sell us their souls, and even then we only get them for a year's service. At
this point in time, "Forbidden Spoof: The Chase" is going on, as well as the end of "Jurassic
Spoof III" So this is yet another one that hasn't happened yet. Also going on toward the
end in Chameleon. The main plot....has nothing at all to do with Jeffery. He was a casualty
of the situation. This all started when Cassi came to the hospital in yet ANOTHER attempt
to persuade Romano to sell out to us....the way this man is going, you'd think we were Satan.
All we want is to replace him with a clone so he doesn't have to lose his arm....isn't that nice
of us? For information sake, Kovac has been gone since he had that breakdown. The one
Weaver called about the Greencard was not Kovac, but his clone. He's been with us for a
while. Carter left the set the day his Gamma died, and he called up Ardeth because Abby
took off. This story now takes place after Gamma's death, and before Romano deep fried his
arm. For those who read the "Forbidden Spoof: The Hunter", there was a paper house. Inside
this house were a bunch of things. In the second one, the house exploded from the inside out.
Due to the fact that not all inside the house were from the Shadow World, they all got out.
This is about where a few of them went......and unfortunately, it wasn't Marvin or the Bamfs
that ended up at County....but instead, it was a few choice occupants of an extremely messy
room..............
************************************************************************
PRELUDE ...."THE QUICK EXPLAINATION"
(Just after the events of "A Thousand Cranes")
**********************************************
This is just a quick explaination...Carter parked his jeep in the parking garage....and this was
actually when he was still there as himself, and not a clone. Anyway, for some reason, he
didn't look under his car....which really isn't a normal habit, so I suppose this is believable.
And naturally, the unsuspecting doctor, as he walked inside, did not turn to look behind him...
(for a man who was stabbed in the back, you'd think he would have), however, he didn't....
And because he didn't, he didn't realize something had decided to follow him to work. Don't
ask us WHY Jeffery felt bonded to Carter...who can explain these things? I suppose Ardeth
could, but that's not important right now. Where were we? Oh right. Jeffery. I suppose it
would make more sense if we explained who exactly Jeffery is. Well, don't just sit there! Go
back and read Forbidden! We'll wait.......(long pause) Are you done yet? Okay fine already!
Always gotta take the easy way out...Our little friend Jeffery...um, okay, I suppose "little" is
kind of the last word that would apply to him, considering he's bigger than most of his spiecies.
Although, to us...and to...well Bill perhaps, he is rather small. Jeffery came from a movie....like
most of our other characters....he is not a mammal. He is at the top of the food chain where
he came from, and will jump to the top of it in County General. He has a leg span of 12 inches
and he starred in the movie "Arachnophobia". To give you a general idea, he is not one of
the PEOPLE in this film....in fact, he's the General. Everyone got a mental picture now? Good,
then we'll continue.
From the under carriage of Carter's jeep, Jeffery dropped to the floor. He had liked Carter for
some strange warped reason, and wanted to follow him around. This was how Jeffery got into
the elevator shaft....the people there, naturally, had no clue. Let's face it, Venezuelan spiders
are very uncommon in Chicago. As you're probably already figuring, no one noticed they
even had a problem until Jeffery created himself a new army inside the hospital. We now begin
about the time of "Things Change" Romano is Chief....they travel in tribes now, we didn't
know this.....Gamma is dead, much to our dismay, although the funeral hasn't happened yet, and
Carter hasn't left the hospital yet. In left, we mean "replaced himself with a clone" the real one
is still there. Carter leaves right after the funeral, as he needed some time to recover. And
we agreed because we didn't want to have to bring back the med team a THIRD time! By
third time, we mean Carter did it in Lost World, the spoof, and then Romano did it when he
lost his job to Weaver. So by this time, Romano has had a MAJOR psychotic breakdown,
hence the reason we're trying to convince him to take some time off. Anyhow, now that
everyone's caught up...assuming you understood all that....we give you the newest breaktime
story!
************************************************************************
CHAPTER ONE....."PSYCHOTIC DOCTORS AND UNEXPLAINED DEATHS"
************************************************************
It was Chicago. (on the screen, the word "Chicago" shows in front of what appears to be
the Statue of Liberty) **Authors give the cameraman a brainduster and the scene changes to
Cook County General hospital** It was a day like any other. (the words "A day like any other"
flash on the screen) Okay, we'll start already. Sorry, I couldn't help that last bit. I saw it in
"Silence of the Hams" and had to try it.
---------------
In the Ambulance Bay, a familiar figure approaches the hospital. She has a walkman on, and
is dressed in her usual 80's style clothes, with her skunk-striped hair in an 80's fashion,
resembling that of Marie Fredriksson...only longer in the back...Anyway, she walked inside
the hospital, setting off the metal detector. What had set it off did not matter. The security
guards approached her.
Cassi raised an eyebrow, and grinned. "Ribbit." She retorted, slyly.
The guards looked at one another and waved her on through. We assume this was because
they didn't want a repeat preformance of last time. **Youth Elixir**
Once inside, Cassi glanced around. Where was he? "Hey Jerry." She spoke up, eyeing the
desk clerk.
Jerry frowned. "Hey, Cassi. What are you doing here?" He asked.
"I had the sudden inspiration to wreak some havoc." Cassi answered. "Is he around?"
"Who?" Jerry asked.
Cassi rolled her eyes. "George of the Jungle! Who do you think?!"
Jerry nodded, understandingly. "His Majesty was in the trauma room about a minute ago."
He informed her. "Now, I have no idea. You want me to page him?"
Cassi sighed. "Yeah, tell him Satan is still wanting his soul."
"You mean he doesn't already have it?" Randi cracked.
"Don't make me shoot you." Cassi remarked, flatly.
Jerry snickered as he punched buttons on the phone.
Cassi jumped up, seating herself on the desk, and pulled out a Fruit by the Foot, to eat while
she waited.
At the sound of the package opening, Carter turned from the patient he was examining. "Do
you have any more of those?" He asked.
Cassi grinned. "Yes." She answered.
"Can I--" He began.
"No." Cassi told him. "You're rich. I'm poor. Buy your own."
Haleh rolled her eyes as she passed, pushing a wheelchair. "Do you even know what's in
those things?"
"Yeah, we're pretty sure it's heroin." Carter informed her. "But we can't prove it."
From the trauma area, Romano caught sight of Cassi seated on the Admit desk, and shook his
head. "She's at it again." He muttered under his breath. "Cas!" He went on, louder. "What
brings you here?"
Cassi jumped off the desk. "Oh, like you don't know." She answered. "Can we talk in the
lounge?"
Romano shook his head. "Exam one's empty." He replied. "Lounge is too busy....come to try
and make me sell out again?"
"You honestly think I enjoy watching you torture yourself?" Cassi remarked, pointedly. "Me
torturing you is one thing, but self torture....that's just sick."
Romano gave her a Look. "Oh like you don't practice self-torture every time you pluck your
eyebrows."
"That doesn't count." Cassi defended. "That's just self multilation...but I look better
afterwards. Yours is for pretty much nothing."
"Lizzie is not nothing." Romano argued.
"Oh she'd want you to do it." Cassi retorted. "Why don't you ask her?"
"I saw what it did when Greene left, I don't need to ask." Romano told her.
Cassi sighed, frustrated. "You do know the only reason they cut off your arm was to top
his dying last year, right?"
"So you've told me." He answered.
"Ask her....maybe she'll go with you." Cassi suggested. "We all know she likes you."
"I told you...not unless I had no other choice." He informed her.
"Okay, how's this?" Cassi remarked, seriously. "You're going to lose the whole arm if you
don't leave."
This got his attention. "And you know this for sure?" He asked.
"Yeah, it's for sure." Cassi confirmed.
Before Romano had too much time to think about it, they were interrupted by Chuny, who
slammed the door open. "Dr. Romano, that patient that came in for sutures just crashed."
"What?!" Romano demanded, rushing out of the room, with Cassi following.
By the time they made it to the suture room, Abby and Pratt were staring at the patient in
shock. The patient was obviously dead.
"What the [heck] is going on here?!" Romano demanded. "This guy came in with a laceration
on his arm! Usually, this does NOT kill a person."
"When I came in here to do the sutures, he was seizing." Pratt explained. "Before I could even
get him on a gurney, he was dead."
"Pupils fixed and dilated." Abby informed him.
"Maybe he saw Pratt and had a heartattack." Cassi spoke up.
"I doubt that." Romano told her. "This doesn't look like a heart attack. Find out what did this
before his family decides to sue us."
Carter stared from the doorway. "Weird....this is the second person we've lost like that." He
informed Romano.
"When was the first one?" Romano demanded. "And why wasn't I told?"
"Just before you came down here." Carter answered. "They did an autopsy, and the results
show an unknown neuro-toxin in the bloodstream."
"That was the banger, right?" Pratt asked.
Carter nodded. "We assume it was something he'd ingested. The Tox-screen showed evidence
of heroin."
"Must have ate some of those fruit rolls you people are pigging out on." Pratt retorted.
Romano fixed him with a glare. "Leave our addictions out of it, and find out what the [heck]
this was."
As Romano stepped out of the room, Cassi frowned, noticing something that looked familiar.
"What's that?" She asked, pointing to a mark on the patient's wrist.
Pratt eyed the mark. "Looks like an insect bite." He informed her. "Probably not important."
Cassi looked closer. "Looks almost like a spider bite." She insisted. "Maybe the spider killed
him."
Pratt stared at her like she must be some idiot. "I would think that's highly unlikely." He
told her.
Cassi thought a moment. "That's what they said in "Arachnophobia", too." She retorted.
Pratt rolled his eyes. "That's a movie." He explained as if Cassi were five. "Things that
happen in movies are not always real."
Cassi frowned. "But--"
"Look, why don't you go play with Romano now?" Pratt suggested. "You have no medical
experience, and I have a job to do."
"Well, yeah but we--" Cassi began again.
Pratt pushed her out of the room. "Go play with Romano." He ordered.
As the door closed in front of her, Cassi glared. "I hope you get ATE!" She snapped, stalking
off to find Romano. Instead, she found Carter first. "Carter!" She called.
Carter turned and walked over. "He's in the lounge." He informed her.
"He is?!" Cassi remarked. "You actually SAW him!?"
"We're talking about Romano, right?" Carter asked with a frown.
"Oh...Romano...um...no, not really." Cassi confessed. "I think you guys have a problem here."
"What do you mean?" Carter asked.
"I saw a spider bite on that guy's arm." Cassi answered. "And then I realized that the last
place I saw Jeffery was in the paper house....." She trailed off.
Carter's face paled. "And the paper house exploded." He finished. "You don't think there's
a chance that he could be here, do you?"
"Well, that is a possibility." Cassi told him. "He liked you....remember?"
Carter nodded. "I see."
"You might wanna keep your eyes open." Cassi told him. "And of worse comes to worse.....
make a few miracle pills, so you guys don't get sued."
"Hey Cassi!" Susan cried as she came around the corner. "Are you back to try to make
Romano sell himself to the Dark Side?"
Cassi nodded. "Yeah, still going." She replied. "But you guys have a problem."
Susan frowned. "What?"
Carter sighed. "Cassi thinks Jeffery's loose in the hospital." He told her.
Susan stared. "Jeffery as in THE Jeffery?!" She managed to whisper. "The big hairy Jeffery?!"
Cassi nodded. "That would be him." She answered. "He's been missing for a while on the
set and that guy in the suture room had a spiderbite....and the one that bit him wasn't Jeffery.
The bitemarks were too small."
"Then he's multiplied already." Carter concluded.
Susan started looking around the floor and the corners. "Oh God, you had to say that, didn't
you? Now, I'll never be able to touch anything again." She muttered.
"Cassi!" Romano called from the Lounge door. "Were we still talking, or are you leaving
now?"
"Good luck." Susan whispered, as Cassi walked off.
Inside the Lounge Cassi pulled a vial of Healing Elixir out of her pocket.
Romano eyed it and sighed. "So that's it, huh?"
Cassi nodded. "If symptoms persist for more than 15 seconds after ingesting, we'll throw you
in the river." She informed him.
"But if I take it, I have to leave, correct?" He asked.
Cassi nodded. "Yeah, that's true." She answered. "Um, Rob, there's something else going on
right now......it's not really good."
"Does this something have to do with the deaths here?" Romano demanded. "Please tell me
you didn't decide to throw yourselves another party here!"
Cassi shook her head. "No, we're pretty sure this was an accident....and we're really not even
sure."
Romano pinned Cassi against the counter. "What did you do?" He demanded.
"I didn't!" Cassi defended. "I'm just saying what I SAW!"
Romano backed away. "Okay, what did you see?" He asked.
"The guy was bit by a spider." Cassi told him. "I saw the bite marks, but Pratt said it was
not important.....but what I'm getting at is that the paper house exploded!"
Romano sighed. "Okay, how did he get here and when?"
Cassi shrugged. "Like he punches a time clock?" She remarked, shrugging. "Ask him! I
wouldn't know!"
Romano shook his head. "Great, so now I have to call up Kerry and tell her to be on the look-
out for a bunch of killer spiders...." He muttered.
"Aww, do you have to tell her?" Cassi asked with a groan. "Can't we wait till they bite her?"
Romano frowned, considering this. "Well, we have to tell Lizzie." He told her. "They might
have a problem up there, too."
Cassi nodded. "If he's been here as long as I think he has, I'd say all the floors have a
problem. You guys got through the vents, so can they."
The two of them stepped out of the lounge. "Abby!" Romano called.
"Yeah?" She asked as she came over.
"Page Corday down here 911." Romano ordered. "And keep an eye on the patients, we don't
need anymore dropping dead on us."
"Is this thing about Jeffery true?" She asked.
Romano gave her a Look. "Always a possibility." He informed her. "Just don't mention it to
Weaver until we're absolutely sure.....you know, like when one bites her.....and whatever you
do, DON'T tell the patients!"
************************************************************************
End part one. Let us know if you're interested. We're not sure where this is going to go from
here. And yes, Dave will be in it, as well as Lucy Knight....and Kovac may have to come back
after the death of his clone.
***********************************************************************
DISCLAIMER: We do not own them....nor do we own Jeffery, much to our utter dismay...
although like the raptors, his name and personality belong to us. The ER docs, only belong
to us when they sell us their souls, and even then we only get them for a year's service. At
this point in time, "Forbidden Spoof: The Chase" is going on, as well as the end of "Jurassic
Spoof III" So this is yet another one that hasn't happened yet. Also going on toward the
end in Chameleon. The main plot....has nothing at all to do with Jeffery. He was a casualty
of the situation. This all started when Cassi came to the hospital in yet ANOTHER attempt
to persuade Romano to sell out to us....the way this man is going, you'd think we were Satan.
All we want is to replace him with a clone so he doesn't have to lose his arm....isn't that nice
of us? For information sake, Kovac has been gone since he had that breakdown. The one
Weaver called about the Greencard was not Kovac, but his clone. He's been with us for a
while. Carter left the set the day his Gamma died, and he called up Ardeth because Abby
took off. This story now takes place after Gamma's death, and before Romano deep fried his
arm. For those who read the "Forbidden Spoof: The Hunter", there was a paper house. Inside
this house were a bunch of things. In the second one, the house exploded from the inside out.
Due to the fact that not all inside the house were from the Shadow World, they all got out.
This is about where a few of them went......and unfortunately, it wasn't Marvin or the Bamfs
that ended up at County....but instead, it was a few choice occupants of an extremely messy
room..............
************************************************************************
PRELUDE ...."THE QUICK EXPLAINATION"
(Just after the events of "A Thousand Cranes")
**********************************************
This is just a quick explaination...Carter parked his jeep in the parking garage....and this was
actually when he was still there as himself, and not a clone. Anyway, for some reason, he
didn't look under his car....which really isn't a normal habit, so I suppose this is believable.
And naturally, the unsuspecting doctor, as he walked inside, did not turn to look behind him...
(for a man who was stabbed in the back, you'd think he would have), however, he didn't....
And because he didn't, he didn't realize something had decided to follow him to work. Don't
ask us WHY Jeffery felt bonded to Carter...who can explain these things? I suppose Ardeth
could, but that's not important right now. Where were we? Oh right. Jeffery. I suppose it
would make more sense if we explained who exactly Jeffery is. Well, don't just sit there! Go
back and read Forbidden! We'll wait.......(long pause) Are you done yet? Okay fine already!
Always gotta take the easy way out...Our little friend Jeffery...um, okay, I suppose "little" is
kind of the last word that would apply to him, considering he's bigger than most of his spiecies.
Although, to us...and to...well Bill perhaps, he is rather small. Jeffery came from a movie....like
most of our other characters....he is not a mammal. He is at the top of the food chain where
he came from, and will jump to the top of it in County General. He has a leg span of 12 inches
and he starred in the movie "Arachnophobia". To give you a general idea, he is not one of
the PEOPLE in this film....in fact, he's the General. Everyone got a mental picture now? Good,
then we'll continue.
From the under carriage of Carter's jeep, Jeffery dropped to the floor. He had liked Carter for
some strange warped reason, and wanted to follow him around. This was how Jeffery got into
the elevator shaft....the people there, naturally, had no clue. Let's face it, Venezuelan spiders
are very uncommon in Chicago. As you're probably already figuring, no one noticed they
even had a problem until Jeffery created himself a new army inside the hospital. We now begin
about the time of "Things Change" Romano is Chief....they travel in tribes now, we didn't
know this.....Gamma is dead, much to our dismay, although the funeral hasn't happened yet, and
Carter hasn't left the hospital yet. In left, we mean "replaced himself with a clone" the real one
is still there. Carter leaves right after the funeral, as he needed some time to recover. And
we agreed because we didn't want to have to bring back the med team a THIRD time! By
third time, we mean Carter did it in Lost World, the spoof, and then Romano did it when he
lost his job to Weaver. So by this time, Romano has had a MAJOR psychotic breakdown,
hence the reason we're trying to convince him to take some time off. Anyhow, now that
everyone's caught up...assuming you understood all that....we give you the newest breaktime
story!
************************************************************************
CHAPTER ONE....."PSYCHOTIC DOCTORS AND UNEXPLAINED DEATHS"
************************************************************
It was Chicago. (on the screen, the word "Chicago" shows in front of what appears to be
the Statue of Liberty) **Authors give the cameraman a brainduster and the scene changes to
Cook County General hospital** It was a day like any other. (the words "A day like any other"
flash on the screen) Okay, we'll start already. Sorry, I couldn't help that last bit. I saw it in
"Silence of the Hams" and had to try it.
---------------
In the Ambulance Bay, a familiar figure approaches the hospital. She has a walkman on, and
is dressed in her usual 80's style clothes, with her skunk-striped hair in an 80's fashion,
resembling that of Marie Fredriksson...only longer in the back...Anyway, she walked inside
the hospital, setting off the metal detector. What had set it off did not matter. The security
guards approached her.
Cassi raised an eyebrow, and grinned. "Ribbit." She retorted, slyly.
The guards looked at one another and waved her on through. We assume this was because
they didn't want a repeat preformance of last time. **Youth Elixir**
Once inside, Cassi glanced around. Where was he? "Hey Jerry." She spoke up, eyeing the
desk clerk.
Jerry frowned. "Hey, Cassi. What are you doing here?" He asked.
"I had the sudden inspiration to wreak some havoc." Cassi answered. "Is he around?"
"Who?" Jerry asked.
Cassi rolled her eyes. "George of the Jungle! Who do you think?!"
Jerry nodded, understandingly. "His Majesty was in the trauma room about a minute ago."
He informed her. "Now, I have no idea. You want me to page him?"
Cassi sighed. "Yeah, tell him Satan is still wanting his soul."
"You mean he doesn't already have it?" Randi cracked.
"Don't make me shoot you." Cassi remarked, flatly.
Jerry snickered as he punched buttons on the phone.
Cassi jumped up, seating herself on the desk, and pulled out a Fruit by the Foot, to eat while
she waited.
At the sound of the package opening, Carter turned from the patient he was examining. "Do
you have any more of those?" He asked.
Cassi grinned. "Yes." She answered.
"Can I--" He began.
"No." Cassi told him. "You're rich. I'm poor. Buy your own."
Haleh rolled her eyes as she passed, pushing a wheelchair. "Do you even know what's in
those things?"
"Yeah, we're pretty sure it's heroin." Carter informed her. "But we can't prove it."
From the trauma area, Romano caught sight of Cassi seated on the Admit desk, and shook his
head. "She's at it again." He muttered under his breath. "Cas!" He went on, louder. "What
brings you here?"
Cassi jumped off the desk. "Oh, like you don't know." She answered. "Can we talk in the
lounge?"
Romano shook his head. "Exam one's empty." He replied. "Lounge is too busy....come to try
and make me sell out again?"
"You honestly think I enjoy watching you torture yourself?" Cassi remarked, pointedly. "Me
torturing you is one thing, but self torture....that's just sick."
Romano gave her a Look. "Oh like you don't practice self-torture every time you pluck your
eyebrows."
"That doesn't count." Cassi defended. "That's just self multilation...but I look better
afterwards. Yours is for pretty much nothing."
"Lizzie is not nothing." Romano argued.
"Oh she'd want you to do it." Cassi retorted. "Why don't you ask her?"
"I saw what it did when Greene left, I don't need to ask." Romano told her.
Cassi sighed, frustrated. "You do know the only reason they cut off your arm was to top
his dying last year, right?"
"So you've told me." He answered.
"Ask her....maybe she'll go with you." Cassi suggested. "We all know she likes you."
"I told you...not unless I had no other choice." He informed her.
"Okay, how's this?" Cassi remarked, seriously. "You're going to lose the whole arm if you
don't leave."
This got his attention. "And you know this for sure?" He asked.
"Yeah, it's for sure." Cassi confirmed.
Before Romano had too much time to think about it, they were interrupted by Chuny, who
slammed the door open. "Dr. Romano, that patient that came in for sutures just crashed."
"What?!" Romano demanded, rushing out of the room, with Cassi following.
By the time they made it to the suture room, Abby and Pratt were staring at the patient in
shock. The patient was obviously dead.
"What the [heck] is going on here?!" Romano demanded. "This guy came in with a laceration
on his arm! Usually, this does NOT kill a person."
"When I came in here to do the sutures, he was seizing." Pratt explained. "Before I could even
get him on a gurney, he was dead."
"Pupils fixed and dilated." Abby informed him.
"Maybe he saw Pratt and had a heartattack." Cassi spoke up.
"I doubt that." Romano told her. "This doesn't look like a heart attack. Find out what did this
before his family decides to sue us."
Carter stared from the doorway. "Weird....this is the second person we've lost like that." He
informed Romano.
"When was the first one?" Romano demanded. "And why wasn't I told?"
"Just before you came down here." Carter answered. "They did an autopsy, and the results
show an unknown neuro-toxin in the bloodstream."
"That was the banger, right?" Pratt asked.
Carter nodded. "We assume it was something he'd ingested. The Tox-screen showed evidence
of heroin."
"Must have ate some of those fruit rolls you people are pigging out on." Pratt retorted.
Romano fixed him with a glare. "Leave our addictions out of it, and find out what the [heck]
this was."
As Romano stepped out of the room, Cassi frowned, noticing something that looked familiar.
"What's that?" She asked, pointing to a mark on the patient's wrist.
Pratt eyed the mark. "Looks like an insect bite." He informed her. "Probably not important."
Cassi looked closer. "Looks almost like a spider bite." She insisted. "Maybe the spider killed
him."
Pratt stared at her like she must be some idiot. "I would think that's highly unlikely." He
told her.
Cassi thought a moment. "That's what they said in "Arachnophobia", too." She retorted.
Pratt rolled his eyes. "That's a movie." He explained as if Cassi were five. "Things that
happen in movies are not always real."
Cassi frowned. "But--"
"Look, why don't you go play with Romano now?" Pratt suggested. "You have no medical
experience, and I have a job to do."
"Well, yeah but we--" Cassi began again.
Pratt pushed her out of the room. "Go play with Romano." He ordered.
As the door closed in front of her, Cassi glared. "I hope you get ATE!" She snapped, stalking
off to find Romano. Instead, she found Carter first. "Carter!" She called.
Carter turned and walked over. "He's in the lounge." He informed her.
"He is?!" Cassi remarked. "You actually SAW him!?"
"We're talking about Romano, right?" Carter asked with a frown.
"Oh...Romano...um...no, not really." Cassi confessed. "I think you guys have a problem here."
"What do you mean?" Carter asked.
"I saw a spider bite on that guy's arm." Cassi answered. "And then I realized that the last
place I saw Jeffery was in the paper house....." She trailed off.
Carter's face paled. "And the paper house exploded." He finished. "You don't think there's
a chance that he could be here, do you?"
"Well, that is a possibility." Cassi told him. "He liked you....remember?"
Carter nodded. "I see."
"You might wanna keep your eyes open." Cassi told him. "And of worse comes to worse.....
make a few miracle pills, so you guys don't get sued."
"Hey Cassi!" Susan cried as she came around the corner. "Are you back to try to make
Romano sell himself to the Dark Side?"
Cassi nodded. "Yeah, still going." She replied. "But you guys have a problem."
Susan frowned. "What?"
Carter sighed. "Cassi thinks Jeffery's loose in the hospital." He told her.
Susan stared. "Jeffery as in THE Jeffery?!" She managed to whisper. "The big hairy Jeffery?!"
Cassi nodded. "That would be him." She answered. "He's been missing for a while on the
set and that guy in the suture room had a spiderbite....and the one that bit him wasn't Jeffery.
The bitemarks were too small."
"Then he's multiplied already." Carter concluded.
Susan started looking around the floor and the corners. "Oh God, you had to say that, didn't
you? Now, I'll never be able to touch anything again." She muttered.
"Cassi!" Romano called from the Lounge door. "Were we still talking, or are you leaving
now?"
"Good luck." Susan whispered, as Cassi walked off.
Inside the Lounge Cassi pulled a vial of Healing Elixir out of her pocket.
Romano eyed it and sighed. "So that's it, huh?"
Cassi nodded. "If symptoms persist for more than 15 seconds after ingesting, we'll throw you
in the river." She informed him.
"But if I take it, I have to leave, correct?" He asked.
Cassi nodded. "Yeah, that's true." She answered. "Um, Rob, there's something else going on
right now......it's not really good."
"Does this something have to do with the deaths here?" Romano demanded. "Please tell me
you didn't decide to throw yourselves another party here!"
Cassi shook her head. "No, we're pretty sure this was an accident....and we're really not even
sure."
Romano pinned Cassi against the counter. "What did you do?" He demanded.
"I didn't!" Cassi defended. "I'm just saying what I SAW!"
Romano backed away. "Okay, what did you see?" He asked.
"The guy was bit by a spider." Cassi told him. "I saw the bite marks, but Pratt said it was
not important.....but what I'm getting at is that the paper house exploded!"
Romano sighed. "Okay, how did he get here and when?"
Cassi shrugged. "Like he punches a time clock?" She remarked, shrugging. "Ask him! I
wouldn't know!"
Romano shook his head. "Great, so now I have to call up Kerry and tell her to be on the look-
out for a bunch of killer spiders...." He muttered.
"Aww, do you have to tell her?" Cassi asked with a groan. "Can't we wait till they bite her?"
Romano frowned, considering this. "Well, we have to tell Lizzie." He told her. "They might
have a problem up there, too."
Cassi nodded. "If he's been here as long as I think he has, I'd say all the floors have a
problem. You guys got through the vents, so can they."
The two of them stepped out of the lounge. "Abby!" Romano called.
"Yeah?" She asked as she came over.
"Page Corday down here 911." Romano ordered. "And keep an eye on the patients, we don't
need anymore dropping dead on us."
"Is this thing about Jeffery true?" She asked.
Romano gave her a Look. "Always a possibility." He informed her. "Just don't mention it to
Weaver until we're absolutely sure.....you know, like when one bites her.....and whatever you
do, DON'T tell the patients!"
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End part one. Let us know if you're interested. We're not sure where this is going to go from
here. And yes, Dave will be in it, as well as Lucy Knight....and Kovac may have to come back
after the death of his clone.