Got Milk?
By Joanne W
Summary: It's the night after Dawn's wedding and Buffy can't sleep so she thinks about what she's got..
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: All BtVS characters mentioned belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy et al.
Spoilers: None
Authors Notes:
Buffy groaned sleepily as she buried her head into the pillow. It wasn't any good, she knew she wouldn't get back to sleep. The harder she tried to fall asleep, the more difficult it became. She guessed it might just have something to do with the fact that her little sister had tied the knot only a little over twelve hours ago to a very nice man called Robert.
Buffy yawned and rolled over to look at the clock. It blinked 04.00 at her. Buffy groaned again and pushed herself up so she was sitting then reached out reached out for the glass of water that sat on the bedside table. It took her a couple of fumbled grabs, but eventually she got it and she downed the last of the water in a couple of big gulps.
Yawning, Buffy stretched and then tried to sort out the mess that sleeping had done to her hair; it was easier now that her hair was shorter, but it still mostly ended up looking like a cat on her head in the morning. Yawning again, Buffy got up and began to pad slowly over towards her en suite bathroom, taking her now empty glass with her to refill it.
In the bathroom, Buffy glanced at herself in the mirror above the sink. She didn't look to bad, she guessed. Not for thirty-six anyway. Her once fair hair was now just at shoulder length, brushing her shoulders and was her more natural darker blonde. She'd managed to maintain her figure, only gaining another five pounds at most over they years, the only exception being the dress size she'd gone up last month, but that wasn't entirely her fault. The only thing she worried about were the lines that had started to appear on her brow and around her eyes, minuscule though they were.
Turning around to leave, Buffy winced when she knocked a bottle of shampoo into the bath and it clattered noisily. Frowning, she idly wondered if it was her hormones making her more clumsy lately.
Buffy stifled yet another yawn and leant against the doorframe as she looked back in the bedroom. She smiled tiredly as she gazed with sleepy eyes at the man lying tangled up in the bed covers and taking up the entire middle of the bed so she now had no room whatsoever.
He was also snoring. Loudly. This was also contributing to her not asleep-ness.
Buffy sat back on the bed and reached out to him, brushing a lock of dark hair back off his forehead, then dipped down and kissed the spot where her fingers had just touched.
Buffy then poked her companion gently in the ribs. "Xander…?"
There was a sleepy grumble and he moved a bit, but didn't wake and continued to snore.
Buffy tried again. "Honey…" she cooed softly. It took a couple of moments and then this time there was a louder grumble and more movement before his only eye slowly opened, trying to focus on what had disturbed him.
"Mmwhat?"
Buffy fixed a bright smile on her face. "Morning," she replied chirpily.
Xander's eye fixed on hers, albeit blearily. "S'not morning. S'dark." He rolled onto his side, his back to Buffy. "Go t'sleep."
Buffy sidled up behind him. "I can't sleep."
"Never'uv guessed," Xander mumbled, his face now buried in the pillow. "You kept wriggling about. And not in a good way."
"How would you know, you were asleep. *And*," Buffy poked him in the back gently, "If you were awake too, why didn't you talk to me?"
Adjusting his eye patch as it had slipped, Xander then turned so he could look at her. "Because I was trying to sleep. Ergo, talking to you would interfere with the whole sleeping process." He rolled back over.
Buffy snorted as she sank onto her back. "Yeah, 'cos God forbid I should interrupt your snoring."
There were a few moments of complete silence between them before Xander spoke again. "Did you wake me up on purpose?" he asked, turning back again to face her. Buffy was studiously not meeting his gaze, rearranging the covers around herself instead. Xander acknowledged by nodding tiredly a couple of times. "Stupid question."
However, he was too tired to take the issue any further, and with a sigh Xander propped himself up on his side. His gaze flickered to the clock and then back to her. "Four oh seven," he read off the LED display. Xander sighed heavily and then dropped onto his back, only having to move again as Buffy wrangled the covers back from him. "Are you just tired?" he asked, as she snuggled back under the quilt. Then he sounded more concerned and touched her arm softly. "There's nothing wrong is there?"
Buffy shook her head and then turned her head to look at him. "Just thinking about today, that's all." She reached for his hand and smiled when he took it and squeezed it gently. "Dawn looked beautiful, didn't she?"
"Yeah, she was," Xander agreed. He rolled onto his side to face Buffy and gave her a lop-sided smile. "Only rivalled by her sister." Xander's smile turned more sincere. "I don't think I've seen you look more beautiful."
Buffy's smile got wider and she felt her cheeks grow warm. "You didn't look so bad yourself. I was so proud to see you standing up there with Dawn. You giving her away felt right."
"Well if you ignore the unimportant genetic issues, there's the simple truth that she's my little sister too. I wouldn't want anyone else to do it," Xander stated, "not even your dad. He would have had a fight on his hands."
"I would have let you fight him," Buffy replied honestly. Her father had barely stayed in contact over the years. Xander had taken on a brotherly role for Dawn in Buffy's absence when Buffy had had to be away over the years, mainly in England, helping Giles set up things over there and provide support for the new Slayers. Buffy looked at Xander curiously. "Not even Giles?"
"He'd have to fight me too," Xander stated. "And at least I'd stand a chance of winning now he's an old man."
"Don't let him hear you say that."
"Hell no. He'd kick my ass." Xander silenced Buffy's smirk with a lingering kiss. Finally pulling back, Xander brushed some of her hair back behind her ear. "Y'know… it was a good day for all of us. Everyone getting together… enjoying themselves…" He ran his fingers along Buffy's jaw line and then mirrored the smile she gave him. "Celebrating the fact that we managed to get on with our lives despite everything."
"I second that," Buffy replied softly. "I like being me. I like being the *now* me, y'know? I have all my cool 'now me' stuff going on. I mean, who'd've thought I'd like teaching six year olds, huh? Willow was supposed to be the teacher and she's off doing her techno-pagan. You've got your own business, Dawn's up for promotion, Giles is kicking it up back in merry ol' England, well 'cept for the times he's here… and Faith's…" Buffy searched for a word.
"Faith?" Xander supplied with a smile.
Buffy smiled back. "Pretty much. But she's happy doing her, uh, thing. Now's a good time for everyone. If it hasn't already fallen into place then it's on its way." Buffy sighed softly. "But, I guess, y'know… all that bad stuff… it made us who we are. Gotta give the past some credit even if you don't want to dwell on it sometimes."
"True," Xander agreed. "You are what you are because of what you did in it."
Buffy's hand left Xander's back and her fingers curled in his hair. "Or who you met in it… " She held his gaze, "Who you fell in love with…"
"Even if," Xander murmured, a smile gracing his lips, "According to certain people, we took too long to get around to it."
"I can't believe that fifteen years wasn't quick enough for them."
They both grinned. Xander sank back onto his back and Buffy moved with him, sighing deeply, but happily, as she dropped a quick kiss on Xander's chest. She smiled contentedly. "S'been twenty years now since we first met."
Xander twirled a lock of Buffy's hair between his fingers. "And still looking good on it." He smiled. "Thirty six and still a babe."
"I prefer thirty *something*," Buffy replied with a slight sniff, then she graced Xander with a smile. "But I like the second bit."
"Well, of course. It was my devastating charm and wit that wooed you in the first place, wasn't it?"
"Amongst other things." Buffy smiled warmly. She turned her head to look at him and found herself barely an inch from his face. Buffy smiled tenderly and raised a hand, brushing her fingers lightly across his brow. "Three years we've been together… Maybe we did take too long. Maybe if I hadn't been away so much."
"I thought you said it was because you were away so much that you ended up falling for me." Xander caught her hand and kissed her finger tips before setting her hand back by her side, entwined with his. His lips quirked into a smile at one corner. "What was it you said? You seemed to miss me more everytime-"
"I went away," Buffy finished. "Everytime I came back," she started to reminisce, "We just seemed to get that little bit closer and then I was off again."
Xander stroked her hair. "Took me a while to realise why it hurt more those last few times you weren't here. And when it did hit, I knew I shouldn't be here when I should be taking a chance because I thought you might just like me too."
Buffy smiled. "Thought I might just like you too because Dawn said I did?"
"She was right though, wasn't she?" Xander grinned.
"That she was," Buffy admitted with a smile. "One of the most romantic things I've experienced was coming home that rainy night in England all covered in blood, sweat, tears and some slightly luminescent slime, and seeing you sitting on the doorstep, rucksack at your feet and a bunch of roses in one hand."
Xander nodded, remembering. "I was also asleep."
"I thought you looked cute."
"I caught a cold and then you wouldn't come near me for two days."
"I didn't want you sneezing on me." Buffy gave him an apologetic smile.
"Says the woman who came home with slime on her."
"That I couldn't help. You I could avoid."
"But not for long."
"I remembered that you'd brought me roses. I wanted to expand on the reasons why."
Xander leaned in and kissed Buffy softly, letting his lips linger against hers before pulling back. "*Why* was because," he looked down at her, "I spent more and more time thinking about you, whether you were here or not, and I wanted to be with you more and more because you made my life so much more than it already was and I've already told you all this so you've got to be angling for something…" Xander smiled curiously at Buffy.
"You usually start with the bit where I'm the most amazing woman you've ever known." Buffy leaned in and kissed him. "I like that bit the best."
Xander rolled his eyes. "I wonder why?" He smiled good-naturedly at her when she giggled as he tickled her side. "And anyway," Xander murmured, "So it's twenty years since we first met," he let his hand rest on her stomach. "Don't they always say good things come to those who wait?"
Buffy smiled and then followed Xander's gaze to where his hand lay, his fingers tracing lazy circles on the patch of exposed skin between her pyjama top and bottoms where her belly protruded, making a rounded bump that proclaimed her pregnant state. She rested his hand on top of his. "See? This is why I love being the now me."
Xander pulled her closer and softly kissed her temple. "I loved the old you too, y'know?" Xander knew from talking to Buffy that dwelling on the past and getting on with her life had actually helped Buffy, well, get on with her life. When she'd finally settled back in Cleveland, she'd found another job that she loved, a job that meant she could make a difference to people's lives from the start.
Xander entwined his fingers with hers and stroked his thumb over the back of her hand. "In fact," he continued, "I love you whoever you are."
"I love all of you too," Buffy murmured. "I started to fall in love with you a long time ago." She ran her foot up the length of his calf as he nuzzled against her cheek. "Thought I'd be the one to make the first move. Not you." Buffy nudged his foot with hers. "Considering your admission that most of the women in your life have come on to you." She nudged his foot again. "What made you think that I wouldn't, y'know, eventually."
Xander lightly touched his fingers to her jaw and then brought them up brush some hair from her face. "Maybe I just wanted to be the guy who followed you half way across the world just to give you flowers."
"Aww… Xan…" Buffy smiled sleepily as she rolled over, still in the circle of his embrace and draped her arm across his chest. "Thank you."
They lay in a comfortable silence for several moments, Buffy thinking she was just about to drift off until she wrinkled her nose. "Xan… that smell that is *so* not *me*."
Xander shrugged. "Love me, love my body, love my bodily functions."
Narrowing her look at his nonchalant reply, Buffy elbowed him in the ribs. "Ugh, sometimes you are *such* a man."
"It's the penis that gives it away, isn't it?"
"Not to mention all the ass scratching." This time she just swatted Xander lightly on the thigh as he managed to plant a wet kiss on her shoulder. "And I let you eat my cookies."
Xander snorted. "I can't believe you're still stringing that analogy out."
Buffy smiled slyly and raised an eyebrow. "I wasn't referring to the analogy." She then laughed as Xander grinned back and waggled his eyebrows. "Oh yeah, I like you dunking me."
Xander cupped her head and pulled her in for a kiss, which grew deeper as time passed. Eventually, they broke apart and, both starting to feel sleepy now, relaxed against each other.
Buffy sighed with content as Xander gently brushed his fingers along her side and closed her eyes when he briefly kissed her forehead. "Love you, Xander" she whispered softly.
"I love you too, Mrs Harris."
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END