Part nine.....and even as I write this part eight has been done for about 3 days, but has not
been uploaded due to lack of reviews. And how long it takes for this one to go up, is I
guess up to you people. Today is June 12.....Hey, my birthday's in less than two weeks....
cool. for those curious, I'll be 26.....yes....I'm getting very old. Believe me, I feel every
year of it....and more. Today, we have no air conditioning....the thing froze up.....that
really stinks....it's at least in the 90's and humidity at about 60%. And it's going to rain.
This wasn't in any weather report, just the fact that my wrists and knees are starting to
hurt as they normally do just before an air pressure change. So....let's see...we have a
nice before paragraph that has nothing to do with the story. As a few of our close fans
have learned, something is coming. We usually drop hints. So....those of you who know
us and our work, have probably figured something out by now. As you can well imagine,
this hospital is toast.....because someone who shall remain nameless until one of us
screams at this person....brought a pet.....and although this person still claims it is NOT
a pet, we all know better. ^_^ Back to the spoof.......
********************************************************************
CHAPTER NINE: "VIVA EL BLANCO"
**********************************************
By the time Greene, Salt, Sam, and Casey had reached the Ambulance Bay, Cassi had
gotten out of the pool for a short while, saying something about putting on more sun-
block. She was now seated in Shirley's lounge chair, as Shirley had given in to Elizabeth's
persuasion, and gone to join the others in the pool.
"I'm bored." Cassi spoke up suddenly.
"How in the world could you possibly be bored?" Romano demanded.
Cassi shrugged. "Don't know, but I'm bored." She went on.
"Hey!" Burt suddenly called out. "Check it out! It's a MIRACLE!!!" He pointed to the
hospital doors where Greene and his group had just come out. "He LIVES!"
Romano made a face. "I'm gonna shoot that guy." He muttered, reaching for his gun.
Cassi stopped his wrist. "Don't shoot him. We like him." She told him. "Besides, Burt's
gun is bigger than yours. The guy cracked the engine block of a truck with that thing
and he was about 50 feet away from it at least."
"So?" Romano smirked. "That's not exactly hard to do."
Cassi smiled. "Yes, but there was several metal barrels, a cinderblock wall, a Shrieker,
a wooden post and a few more barrels in the way first....and then it went all the way
through the truck." She informed him. "It probably would have gone through a few more
things, but there wasn't anything else there."
"How far did it go after that?" Romano asked curiously.
Cassi shrugged. "Don't know." She answered. "They were too mad at him for
destroying their only means of escape to find out."
Romano burst out laughing. "Serves him right."
Burt, having heard this, glared. "That's not funny!" He yelled, only causing Romano to
laugh harder. He narrowed his eyes, in a pout. "I oughta feed him to El Blanco." He
muttered, quietly.
Roland and Dundee snickered, loudly.
Behind them, Carter shook his head. "Not smart. Romano can't die." He told them.
Burt grinned. "Even better." He mused.
"They'd have to cut him out." Carter reminded him.
"Can't." Burt retorted, smirking. "He's an endangered spiecies."
Carter shrugged. "So would Romano be if he ate him." He informed the group. "Besides,
the poor thing would get one bad case of indigestion."
Sven snickered from the edge of the pool. "Yeah, just like Petey." She put in.
"Who the [heck] is--" Burt began.
"He killed himself, running into an underground cement wall, after eating someone who
really didn't agree with him." She remarked, giving Burt a knowing look.
Burt stared at her a minute, then calmly went back to polishing his gun.
From the door, Greene and the others were looking around.
"See?" Casey spoke up. "A party."
"Fine, you were right." Greene muttered under his breath.
Casey grinned, and jumped into the pool, clothes and all. "Much more fun than baby-
sitting dead people." He announced as he resurfaced.
Greene, who had just noticed Elizabeth in the pool, was staring at her.
Romano looked over at him and glared. "Hey!" He snapped. "Stop looking at her! She's
MY wife now!"
"Hey, I WAS married to her already, you know." Greene reminded him.
"Are they fighting over you?" Shirley asked Elizabeth in the pool.
Elizabeth nodded. "I believe so." She answered, laughing. "How do you think it will
turn out?"
Romano, who still had his gun out, and was already disappointed about not getting to
shoot Burt, decided that Greene was just as convenient. He smiled, evily, held out his
gun, and shot Greene instead. "Ah, now I feel all better." He sighed, laying back.
Cassi looked at both for a minute before shaking her head. "And you jump on us when
we shoot people for looking at us." She reminded him.
"That wasn't for looking at anyone." Romano retorted, innocently. "It was because I
wanted to shoot someone and he was there."
Cassi rolled her eyes. "Like I said." She told him, flatly.
"Well you're the one who told me I couldn't shoot Burt." Romano argued. "So Mahk,
over there just happened to be the first one who got on my nerves."
"That's not funny Robert!" Elizabeth called from the pool.
"Ooh, somone's spending his wedding night sleeping on the floor." Chris Mason
called out, laughing.
Elizabeth rolled her eyes and gave Chris a brainduster. "We won't HAVE a wedding
night." She snapped. "Cassi and Sven just snap their fingers and we're married."
"Don't forget me, Mom!" Abby shouted from across the pool. "You're married with
a daughter....and I like you better than my REAL mom!"
Romano made a face. "Oy, this sucks." He muttered.
"Mom!" Abby yelled. "Daddy doesn't LOVE me!"
This did it for all around the pool. Everyone burst out laughing.
"I TOLD you to call the adoption agency, but you just wouldn't listen." Romano
complained.
"Mommy, can we get a new Daddy?" Abby asked, grinning. "You can re-marry Daddy-
Mark!"
"Hey I don't care WHO she marries as long as it ain't Sheep-guy!" Sven snapped.
"Sheep-guy?" Elizabeth asked, staring.
"Dorsett....type of sheep?" Sven informed her. "We have one. We'd know."
Romano's face brightened. "Oh REEEEAAALLY?" He smirked. "Ah, that opens loads
of possibilities."
Cassi gave a grin. "BAAAAA!!!" She shouted, loud enough for everyone to hear,
causing more fits of laughter.
"Hmmm, Dr Sheep." Ardeth mused.
"Dr. Schmuck-Sheep." Carter went on.
"Dr. Sheep-Schmuck." Stripe continued.
"Dr. SCHMEEP!" Cassi announced, loudly, causing more laughter.
"Well I hope HE never comes to Perfection." Burt proclaimed. "El Blanco loves sheep."
"Hmmm, what an idea." Sven commented. "No, wait, he'd make the poor guy sick. We
can't even LOOK at him without getting sick."
********************************************************************
And time for yet another insanity break commercial....This time, we're going to go for a
new one. These are misprints on church bulletins. Actual misprints on church bulletins.
We would like to give credit to Mark Lowry, whose site we ripped these off of, even
though Mark himself ripped them off of someone else.
Misprint 1: "Thursday night Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow."
Misprint 2: "The scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be
recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children."
And finally, Misprint 3: "Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight,
at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way
from Africa."
Thankyou for your time, and we now return you to the fic in progress.....
********************************************************************
Meanwhile, inside the building, Dr. Dorkett (cough*sheepman*cough), after having
found Jacey's body in the hallway inside the messy white goo, was waiting at the
elevator that would take him downstairs to the ER, where Anspaugh, and Corday had
somehow disappeared.
The elevator arrived, and he stepped inside, pressing the button for the ER. After a
minute, the elevator arrived on the first floor, and he stared as a small green creature,
dressed in medical scrubs, and wearing glasses, stepped onto the elevator, carrying a
styrofoam cooler. Crudely lettered on the cooler's outside were the words, "Human
Head." The creature looked up at him for a moment.
"Excuse me, sir, but are you lost?" It asked him, pointedly. "I can't help but notice you
aren't getting off the elevator."
Dorkett was still staring at the cooler, and made no reply.
The creature looked down at the cooler than back up at him. "Are you a surgeon?" It
asked.
"Uh.....actually, um....yes, I am." Dorkett stammered.
The creature brightened. "Oh how lovely to meet you. I am Dr. Glasses." He informed
the shocked surgeon. "I've just finished my first big operation."
Dorkett gave a slow nod and eyed the cooler again. "I see.....and what's that for?" He
managed to ask.
Dr. Glasses smiled. "This is for my other operation." He informed Dorkett. "I'm going to
reattach this head to my subject upstairs."
"So....uh....there's really a head in there?" Dorkett questioned, paling.
"Why yes!" Dr. Glasses replied, proudly. "And it only took about 15 seconds to get it
off! I know they say you should always use scalpels and such for these operations,
but I fully believe that they have not yet explored all the options of the chainsaw. You
can't always depend on such small instruments to quickly do surgical proceedures, can
you? No, naturally not! You must find instruments that do things quickly! That's the
experiment I'm trying to conduct! The full usage of chainsaws in medical proceedures!
What do you think....being a vetran in the surgical field, that is?"
Dorkett was now completely speechless. "Uh.....well, I......"
"Listen, you must be on your way to an important call, so I best not keep you." Dr.
Glasses went on, casually. "Please do go down and help the nurses out. Heaven knows
we don't have enough help here what with the walkout and all."
"There was a walkout?" Dorkett managed to ask.
"Well, yes." Dr. Glasses answered, rolling his eyes. "And we're way behind with the
patients, let me tell you. It seems we're the only ones who don't mind working with all
the killer vines and spiders around. Anyway, I must be going now. You can check in
the nurses and they'll let you know where you can start. So long now."
Dorkett stared as the elevator doors closed, taking the creature upstairs. That was one
of the weirdest conversations he'd ever heard.
"Excuse me, Doctor?" A small female voice spoke up. "Are you on duty?"
Dorkett looked down, seeing another creature, this one female, with green hair and pink
scrubs on. "Uh....yes." He answered, staring.
"Oh good, could you take a look at this patient?" She asked, pulling his pants leg. "He's
in here. I think he's crashing."
Dorkett ran into the room she pointed out and his mouth dropped as he caught sight of
what was left of Dr. Pratt. He just made it to the sink before he lost what little he'd eaten
that morning, then he passed out.
Maxine, the Girl Gremlin stared at the doctor on the floor. "Ugh." She muttered. "How
terribly unprofessional."
********************************************************************
Out in the Ambulance Bay, Cassi had returned Greene to life....much to Romano's
disappointment. He had now joined them in the lounge chairs, while, Sam and Salt had
joined Casey in the pool, and were now playing with Betsy.
"So, anyway, what are we going to do with the dead people in the hospital?" Greene
asked, grabbing a pair of sunglasses.
Romano shrugged. "Not a clue." He remarked, yawning. "We'll get them back at about
the end, I suppose."
"You DO realize someone was using a chainsaw in there, and it wasn't one of the
humans." Mark informed Cassi and Romano.
Robert raised an eyebrow. "Did you check?" He asked.
Greene shook his head. "No way." He remarked, quickly. "When Gremlins play with
chainsaws, I've learned not to look."
"Yeah, I can see how that would be true." Cassi agreed. "So who's missing?"
Romano looked around. "Well.....Pratt hasn't been out here.....he was in the ER, and I
think he's the only one in there, who's not here....and anyone else on the surgical floor."
He answered, counting on his fingers.
"In other words, it's only the people we won't miss." Cassi concluded. "No problem
then."
Romano nodded. "Yeah, sounds about right." He commented.
Cassi sat for a minute. "Rob?"
"Yeah?" He responded.
"I'm still bored." Cassi answered.
"Why don't you go back into the pool?" Greene asked, pointedly.
"I don't feel like it." Cassi informed him.
"So what do you wanna do?" Romano asked.
Cassi frowned for a minute. "I don't know." She answered.
"We can shoot Greene." Romano suggested.
"I don't feel like that either." Cassi moaned, pouting.
Romano thought for a minute. "We can shoot random people." He spoke up.
Cassi frowned again. "I'm bored of that, too." She told him.
"You wanna go play with the Gremlins?" Greene asked.
"No." Cassi snapped. "They're boring, too."
"So what do you want to do?" Romano asked.
"I don't know, what do you wanna do?" Cassi responded.
"I don't know, what do you wanna do?" Romano asked.
"I don't know, what do you wanna do?" Cassi continued.
"How about you guys both go entertain yourselves?" Greene interrupted.
"We are." Cassi told him. "This is us entertaining ourselves. What do you wanna do?"
"I don't know, what do you wanna do?" Romano went on, grinning.
"I don't know, what do you wanna do?" Cassi replied, laughing.
"I think you both need help." Greene retorted, getting up and walking off.
"Well, we got rid of him." Cassi stated, triumphantly.
"Yep." Romano answered.
Cassi waited a minute. "So...." She spoke up. "What do you wanna do?"
"I don't know, what do you wanna do?" Romano went on, shaking his head.
"Does she do that a lot?" Shirley asked Sven.
"Yes." Sven answered. "All the time."
This extremely interesting conversation was interrupted by Noah Newman running in,
waving.
"Hey, Newman!" Sven called jumping out of the pool and grabbing a towel. "What's
going on?"
Newman smiled. "You sent us off to kidnap this guy for bringing into the spoofs." He
reminded her. "Remember?"
Sven frowned. "Um....I think we had a few guys we needed kidnapped for spoofs." She
told him. "Which one?"
Newman rolled his eyes. "The one named after the hound dog." He informed her.
"Huh?" Sven frowned again. "Um....no. Which one?"
"Bassett?" Newman remarked, raising an eyebrow. "Ring a bell?"
"OH!!" Sven exclaimed. "Earl! Yeah, I know who you mean. He wasn't supposed to be
here until the spoofs start back up!"
Newman shrugged. "Yeah, so we're early." He admitted. "You want him?"
"Oh yeah sure." Sven told him. "Bring him in."
Dave jumped up from the pool and ran over. "Um, the bats have nothing to do with us."
He said quickly.
Sven rolled her eyes. "They have a new victim for us, it's not about that." She snapped.
"Oh, right." Dave breathed, relieved. "Never mind then."
"Bats?" Newman questioned, as Dave ran off.
"It's nothing." Sven answered quickly. "Bring the hound dog in."
Romano and Cassi came walking over. "What's up?" Cassi asked, still sounding bored.
"They got Earl Bassett." Sven informed them.
"Who?" Romano asked, confused.
"Friend of Burt's." Cassi explained. "He wasn't supposed to be here yet."
"Can I shoot him?" Romano asked, sounding hopeful.
"No!" Sven retorted, bluntly. "We don't need him dead yet."
"Well, you DID say he wasn't supposed to be here yet!" Romano argued.
"That doesn't mean you can shoot him." Sven stated, with a snort. "We'd like to keep
him alive for a while."
Newman returned with Gerard and Cosmo, who were leading a man, who was handcuffed,
and sporting a paper bag over his head. They could hear muffled complaints from
under the bag.
"We had to tape his mouth shut." Gerard explained. "He was not too happy about it."
From the pool, Stripe screamed. "SHUT IT OFF!!!!"
Sven frowned. "What is that high pitched annoying noise?" She demanded.
Cassi scrunched up her face and rubbed her ear. "I don't know, but it better stop." She
muttered.
Mungo and Teazer, who had just resurfaced, now grabbed their own ears. "Make i'
STOP!!!!" Mungo cried, in pain.
Cassi's face changed as she caught sight of Earl's wrist. "Oh EEWWW, he's got one of
THOSE THINGS!!!" She grumbled, yanking the watch off, and stomping on it.
At the distruction of the watch, all affected by the awful noise, which we've been told is
an ultra sonic signal, sigh with relief. **Yes, it is very likely that Cassi and Sven can in
fact hear this as we have very sensitive ears, and we DO have problems with dog whistles
and high pitches....fingernails on chalkboard are murder for us**
Sven shook her head to clear it. "Ahh, better." She breathed. "Where did you get this
guy from?"
"That little tiny town in Nevada....um...Perfection." Cosmo answered. "He was called in
to find out what happened to ol'e Burt over there."
Sven stared. "You took him all the way from Perfection with that thing on?!" She
shouted.
Gerard nodded. "Yeah, is that a problem?" He asked, concerned.
They were interrupted by Sara Raptor, who came running up. "HELP!!!" She screamed.
"Fred just got ate by a MONSTER!!!"
Cassi moaned, closing her eyes. "Oy vey." She muttered.
Burt jumped up, seeing them for the first time. "What kind of monster?" He asked.
"A big ugly WHITE monster!!" Sara cried. "He ate him from under the ground!"
"BURT!" Cassi scolded. "Didn't we tell you to leave your STUPID PETS AT HOME?!"
Burt leaned over, and yanked the bag off of Earl. "That thing is NOT my pet, and it
followed HIM, not ME!" He accused.
At the sound of his voice, El Blanco burst up through the pavement behind the group.
Cassi, Sven, Gerard, Cosmo, Newman, Romano, and Burt stood, staring at him.
Earl, still tied, and held securly by Gerard, could not move at all.
"Great, now see what you've done?" Sven demanded, glaring at Burt.
********************************************************************
End part nine.....and one of these days when we get reviews, we'll update faster....hint
hint. Must have more....where are you people!? We want more people telling us they
read this stuff! We keep adding more monsters and distractions, and no one has
commented......HELLO!!! Is anyone out there reading this at all? We're still thinking
to scrap it if nobody wants to read it.
Review now! --Cassi & Sven
June 24th. This chapter will finally go up....and if you people want to see what happens next
I had better get a few reviews for this! Come on....it's my birthday.....um, no, seriously
it is. I would also like to say happy birthday to Ramon Montelongo-Cavazos (my little brother
in Mexico), Jose Barker (my adorable nephew), and Mark Lowry.....how we got the same birthday,
I'll never know.
Just so you know, we WILL get back to the game.....um...and perhaps back to the gremlins as
well......they are the only "doctors" still torturing the patients....And we're not done with
Sheep-man yet....he DID just pass out on the floor in front of a gremlin. This is a bad idea.
been uploaded due to lack of reviews. And how long it takes for this one to go up, is I
guess up to you people. Today is June 12.....Hey, my birthday's in less than two weeks....
cool. for those curious, I'll be 26.....yes....I'm getting very old. Believe me, I feel every
year of it....and more. Today, we have no air conditioning....the thing froze up.....that
really stinks....it's at least in the 90's and humidity at about 60%. And it's going to rain.
This wasn't in any weather report, just the fact that my wrists and knees are starting to
hurt as they normally do just before an air pressure change. So....let's see...we have a
nice before paragraph that has nothing to do with the story. As a few of our close fans
have learned, something is coming. We usually drop hints. So....those of you who know
us and our work, have probably figured something out by now. As you can well imagine,
this hospital is toast.....because someone who shall remain nameless until one of us
screams at this person....brought a pet.....and although this person still claims it is NOT
a pet, we all know better. ^_^ Back to the spoof.......
********************************************************************
CHAPTER NINE: "VIVA EL BLANCO"
**********************************************
By the time Greene, Salt, Sam, and Casey had reached the Ambulance Bay, Cassi had
gotten out of the pool for a short while, saying something about putting on more sun-
block. She was now seated in Shirley's lounge chair, as Shirley had given in to Elizabeth's
persuasion, and gone to join the others in the pool.
"I'm bored." Cassi spoke up suddenly.
"How in the world could you possibly be bored?" Romano demanded.
Cassi shrugged. "Don't know, but I'm bored." She went on.
"Hey!" Burt suddenly called out. "Check it out! It's a MIRACLE!!!" He pointed to the
hospital doors where Greene and his group had just come out. "He LIVES!"
Romano made a face. "I'm gonna shoot that guy." He muttered, reaching for his gun.
Cassi stopped his wrist. "Don't shoot him. We like him." She told him. "Besides, Burt's
gun is bigger than yours. The guy cracked the engine block of a truck with that thing
and he was about 50 feet away from it at least."
"So?" Romano smirked. "That's not exactly hard to do."
Cassi smiled. "Yes, but there was several metal barrels, a cinderblock wall, a Shrieker,
a wooden post and a few more barrels in the way first....and then it went all the way
through the truck." She informed him. "It probably would have gone through a few more
things, but there wasn't anything else there."
"How far did it go after that?" Romano asked curiously.
Cassi shrugged. "Don't know." She answered. "They were too mad at him for
destroying their only means of escape to find out."
Romano burst out laughing. "Serves him right."
Burt, having heard this, glared. "That's not funny!" He yelled, only causing Romano to
laugh harder. He narrowed his eyes, in a pout. "I oughta feed him to El Blanco." He
muttered, quietly.
Roland and Dundee snickered, loudly.
Behind them, Carter shook his head. "Not smart. Romano can't die." He told them.
Burt grinned. "Even better." He mused.
"They'd have to cut him out." Carter reminded him.
"Can't." Burt retorted, smirking. "He's an endangered spiecies."
Carter shrugged. "So would Romano be if he ate him." He informed the group. "Besides,
the poor thing would get one bad case of indigestion."
Sven snickered from the edge of the pool. "Yeah, just like Petey." She put in.
"Who the [heck] is--" Burt began.
"He killed himself, running into an underground cement wall, after eating someone who
really didn't agree with him." She remarked, giving Burt a knowing look.
Burt stared at her a minute, then calmly went back to polishing his gun.
From the door, Greene and the others were looking around.
"See?" Casey spoke up. "A party."
"Fine, you were right." Greene muttered under his breath.
Casey grinned, and jumped into the pool, clothes and all. "Much more fun than baby-
sitting dead people." He announced as he resurfaced.
Greene, who had just noticed Elizabeth in the pool, was staring at her.
Romano looked over at him and glared. "Hey!" He snapped. "Stop looking at her! She's
MY wife now!"
"Hey, I WAS married to her already, you know." Greene reminded him.
"Are they fighting over you?" Shirley asked Elizabeth in the pool.
Elizabeth nodded. "I believe so." She answered, laughing. "How do you think it will
turn out?"
Romano, who still had his gun out, and was already disappointed about not getting to
shoot Burt, decided that Greene was just as convenient. He smiled, evily, held out his
gun, and shot Greene instead. "Ah, now I feel all better." He sighed, laying back.
Cassi looked at both for a minute before shaking her head. "And you jump on us when
we shoot people for looking at us." She reminded him.
"That wasn't for looking at anyone." Romano retorted, innocently. "It was because I
wanted to shoot someone and he was there."
Cassi rolled her eyes. "Like I said." She told him, flatly.
"Well you're the one who told me I couldn't shoot Burt." Romano argued. "So Mahk,
over there just happened to be the first one who got on my nerves."
"That's not funny Robert!" Elizabeth called from the pool.
"Ooh, somone's spending his wedding night sleeping on the floor." Chris Mason
called out, laughing.
Elizabeth rolled her eyes and gave Chris a brainduster. "We won't HAVE a wedding
night." She snapped. "Cassi and Sven just snap their fingers and we're married."
"Don't forget me, Mom!" Abby shouted from across the pool. "You're married with
a daughter....and I like you better than my REAL mom!"
Romano made a face. "Oy, this sucks." He muttered.
"Mom!" Abby yelled. "Daddy doesn't LOVE me!"
This did it for all around the pool. Everyone burst out laughing.
"I TOLD you to call the adoption agency, but you just wouldn't listen." Romano
complained.
"Mommy, can we get a new Daddy?" Abby asked, grinning. "You can re-marry Daddy-
Mark!"
"Hey I don't care WHO she marries as long as it ain't Sheep-guy!" Sven snapped.
"Sheep-guy?" Elizabeth asked, staring.
"Dorsett....type of sheep?" Sven informed her. "We have one. We'd know."
Romano's face brightened. "Oh REEEEAAALLY?" He smirked. "Ah, that opens loads
of possibilities."
Cassi gave a grin. "BAAAAA!!!" She shouted, loud enough for everyone to hear,
causing more fits of laughter.
"Hmmm, Dr Sheep." Ardeth mused.
"Dr. Schmuck-Sheep." Carter went on.
"Dr. Sheep-Schmuck." Stripe continued.
"Dr. SCHMEEP!" Cassi announced, loudly, causing more laughter.
"Well I hope HE never comes to Perfection." Burt proclaimed. "El Blanco loves sheep."
"Hmmm, what an idea." Sven commented. "No, wait, he'd make the poor guy sick. We
can't even LOOK at him without getting sick."
********************************************************************
And time for yet another insanity break commercial....This time, we're going to go for a
new one. These are misprints on church bulletins. Actual misprints on church bulletins.
We would like to give credit to Mark Lowry, whose site we ripped these off of, even
though Mark himself ripped them off of someone else.
Misprint 1: "Thursday night Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow."
Misprint 2: "The scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be
recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children."
And finally, Misprint 3: "Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight,
at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way
from Africa."
Thankyou for your time, and we now return you to the fic in progress.....
********************************************************************
Meanwhile, inside the building, Dr. Dorkett (cough*sheepman*cough), after having
found Jacey's body in the hallway inside the messy white goo, was waiting at the
elevator that would take him downstairs to the ER, where Anspaugh, and Corday had
somehow disappeared.
The elevator arrived, and he stepped inside, pressing the button for the ER. After a
minute, the elevator arrived on the first floor, and he stared as a small green creature,
dressed in medical scrubs, and wearing glasses, stepped onto the elevator, carrying a
styrofoam cooler. Crudely lettered on the cooler's outside were the words, "Human
Head." The creature looked up at him for a moment.
"Excuse me, sir, but are you lost?" It asked him, pointedly. "I can't help but notice you
aren't getting off the elevator."
Dorkett was still staring at the cooler, and made no reply.
The creature looked down at the cooler than back up at him. "Are you a surgeon?" It
asked.
"Uh.....actually, um....yes, I am." Dorkett stammered.
The creature brightened. "Oh how lovely to meet you. I am Dr. Glasses." He informed
the shocked surgeon. "I've just finished my first big operation."
Dorkett gave a slow nod and eyed the cooler again. "I see.....and what's that for?" He
managed to ask.
Dr. Glasses smiled. "This is for my other operation." He informed Dorkett. "I'm going to
reattach this head to my subject upstairs."
"So....uh....there's really a head in there?" Dorkett questioned, paling.
"Why yes!" Dr. Glasses replied, proudly. "And it only took about 15 seconds to get it
off! I know they say you should always use scalpels and such for these operations,
but I fully believe that they have not yet explored all the options of the chainsaw. You
can't always depend on such small instruments to quickly do surgical proceedures, can
you? No, naturally not! You must find instruments that do things quickly! That's the
experiment I'm trying to conduct! The full usage of chainsaws in medical proceedures!
What do you think....being a vetran in the surgical field, that is?"
Dorkett was now completely speechless. "Uh.....well, I......"
"Listen, you must be on your way to an important call, so I best not keep you." Dr.
Glasses went on, casually. "Please do go down and help the nurses out. Heaven knows
we don't have enough help here what with the walkout and all."
"There was a walkout?" Dorkett managed to ask.
"Well, yes." Dr. Glasses answered, rolling his eyes. "And we're way behind with the
patients, let me tell you. It seems we're the only ones who don't mind working with all
the killer vines and spiders around. Anyway, I must be going now. You can check in
the nurses and they'll let you know where you can start. So long now."
Dorkett stared as the elevator doors closed, taking the creature upstairs. That was one
of the weirdest conversations he'd ever heard.
"Excuse me, Doctor?" A small female voice spoke up. "Are you on duty?"
Dorkett looked down, seeing another creature, this one female, with green hair and pink
scrubs on. "Uh....yes." He answered, staring.
"Oh good, could you take a look at this patient?" She asked, pulling his pants leg. "He's
in here. I think he's crashing."
Dorkett ran into the room she pointed out and his mouth dropped as he caught sight of
what was left of Dr. Pratt. He just made it to the sink before he lost what little he'd eaten
that morning, then he passed out.
Maxine, the Girl Gremlin stared at the doctor on the floor. "Ugh." She muttered. "How
terribly unprofessional."
********************************************************************
Out in the Ambulance Bay, Cassi had returned Greene to life....much to Romano's
disappointment. He had now joined them in the lounge chairs, while, Sam and Salt had
joined Casey in the pool, and were now playing with Betsy.
"So, anyway, what are we going to do with the dead people in the hospital?" Greene
asked, grabbing a pair of sunglasses.
Romano shrugged. "Not a clue." He remarked, yawning. "We'll get them back at about
the end, I suppose."
"You DO realize someone was using a chainsaw in there, and it wasn't one of the
humans." Mark informed Cassi and Romano.
Robert raised an eyebrow. "Did you check?" He asked.
Greene shook his head. "No way." He remarked, quickly. "When Gremlins play with
chainsaws, I've learned not to look."
"Yeah, I can see how that would be true." Cassi agreed. "So who's missing?"
Romano looked around. "Well.....Pratt hasn't been out here.....he was in the ER, and I
think he's the only one in there, who's not here....and anyone else on the surgical floor."
He answered, counting on his fingers.
"In other words, it's only the people we won't miss." Cassi concluded. "No problem
then."
Romano nodded. "Yeah, sounds about right." He commented.
Cassi sat for a minute. "Rob?"
"Yeah?" He responded.
"I'm still bored." Cassi answered.
"Why don't you go back into the pool?" Greene asked, pointedly.
"I don't feel like it." Cassi informed him.
"So what do you wanna do?" Romano asked.
Cassi frowned for a minute. "I don't know." She answered.
"We can shoot Greene." Romano suggested.
"I don't feel like that either." Cassi moaned, pouting.
Romano thought for a minute. "We can shoot random people." He spoke up.
Cassi frowned again. "I'm bored of that, too." She told him.
"You wanna go play with the Gremlins?" Greene asked.
"No." Cassi snapped. "They're boring, too."
"So what do you want to do?" Romano asked.
"I don't know, what do you wanna do?" Cassi responded.
"I don't know, what do you wanna do?" Romano asked.
"I don't know, what do you wanna do?" Cassi continued.
"How about you guys both go entertain yourselves?" Greene interrupted.
"We are." Cassi told him. "This is us entertaining ourselves. What do you wanna do?"
"I don't know, what do you wanna do?" Romano went on, grinning.
"I don't know, what do you wanna do?" Cassi replied, laughing.
"I think you both need help." Greene retorted, getting up and walking off.
"Well, we got rid of him." Cassi stated, triumphantly.
"Yep." Romano answered.
Cassi waited a minute. "So...." She spoke up. "What do you wanna do?"
"I don't know, what do you wanna do?" Romano went on, shaking his head.
"Does she do that a lot?" Shirley asked Sven.
"Yes." Sven answered. "All the time."
This extremely interesting conversation was interrupted by Noah Newman running in,
waving.
"Hey, Newman!" Sven called jumping out of the pool and grabbing a towel. "What's
going on?"
Newman smiled. "You sent us off to kidnap this guy for bringing into the spoofs." He
reminded her. "Remember?"
Sven frowned. "Um....I think we had a few guys we needed kidnapped for spoofs." She
told him. "Which one?"
Newman rolled his eyes. "The one named after the hound dog." He informed her.
"Huh?" Sven frowned again. "Um....no. Which one?"
"Bassett?" Newman remarked, raising an eyebrow. "Ring a bell?"
"OH!!" Sven exclaimed. "Earl! Yeah, I know who you mean. He wasn't supposed to be
here until the spoofs start back up!"
Newman shrugged. "Yeah, so we're early." He admitted. "You want him?"
"Oh yeah sure." Sven told him. "Bring him in."
Dave jumped up from the pool and ran over. "Um, the bats have nothing to do with us."
He said quickly.
Sven rolled her eyes. "They have a new victim for us, it's not about that." She snapped.
"Oh, right." Dave breathed, relieved. "Never mind then."
"Bats?" Newman questioned, as Dave ran off.
"It's nothing." Sven answered quickly. "Bring the hound dog in."
Romano and Cassi came walking over. "What's up?" Cassi asked, still sounding bored.
"They got Earl Bassett." Sven informed them.
"Who?" Romano asked, confused.
"Friend of Burt's." Cassi explained. "He wasn't supposed to be here yet."
"Can I shoot him?" Romano asked, sounding hopeful.
"No!" Sven retorted, bluntly. "We don't need him dead yet."
"Well, you DID say he wasn't supposed to be here yet!" Romano argued.
"That doesn't mean you can shoot him." Sven stated, with a snort. "We'd like to keep
him alive for a while."
Newman returned with Gerard and Cosmo, who were leading a man, who was handcuffed,
and sporting a paper bag over his head. They could hear muffled complaints from
under the bag.
"We had to tape his mouth shut." Gerard explained. "He was not too happy about it."
From the pool, Stripe screamed. "SHUT IT OFF!!!!"
Sven frowned. "What is that high pitched annoying noise?" She demanded.
Cassi scrunched up her face and rubbed her ear. "I don't know, but it better stop." She
muttered.
Mungo and Teazer, who had just resurfaced, now grabbed their own ears. "Make i'
STOP!!!!" Mungo cried, in pain.
Cassi's face changed as she caught sight of Earl's wrist. "Oh EEWWW, he's got one of
THOSE THINGS!!!" She grumbled, yanking the watch off, and stomping on it.
At the distruction of the watch, all affected by the awful noise, which we've been told is
an ultra sonic signal, sigh with relief. **Yes, it is very likely that Cassi and Sven can in
fact hear this as we have very sensitive ears, and we DO have problems with dog whistles
and high pitches....fingernails on chalkboard are murder for us**
Sven shook her head to clear it. "Ahh, better." She breathed. "Where did you get this
guy from?"
"That little tiny town in Nevada....um...Perfection." Cosmo answered. "He was called in
to find out what happened to ol'e Burt over there."
Sven stared. "You took him all the way from Perfection with that thing on?!" She
shouted.
Gerard nodded. "Yeah, is that a problem?" He asked, concerned.
They were interrupted by Sara Raptor, who came running up. "HELP!!!" She screamed.
"Fred just got ate by a MONSTER!!!"
Cassi moaned, closing her eyes. "Oy vey." She muttered.
Burt jumped up, seeing them for the first time. "What kind of monster?" He asked.
"A big ugly WHITE monster!!" Sara cried. "He ate him from under the ground!"
"BURT!" Cassi scolded. "Didn't we tell you to leave your STUPID PETS AT HOME?!"
Burt leaned over, and yanked the bag off of Earl. "That thing is NOT my pet, and it
followed HIM, not ME!" He accused.
At the sound of his voice, El Blanco burst up through the pavement behind the group.
Cassi, Sven, Gerard, Cosmo, Newman, Romano, and Burt stood, staring at him.
Earl, still tied, and held securly by Gerard, could not move at all.
"Great, now see what you've done?" Sven demanded, glaring at Burt.
********************************************************************
End part nine.....and one of these days when we get reviews, we'll update faster....hint
hint. Must have more....where are you people!? We want more people telling us they
read this stuff! We keep adding more monsters and distractions, and no one has
commented......HELLO!!! Is anyone out there reading this at all? We're still thinking
to scrap it if nobody wants to read it.
Review now! --Cassi & Sven
June 24th. This chapter will finally go up....and if you people want to see what happens next
I had better get a few reviews for this! Come on....it's my birthday.....um, no, seriously
it is. I would also like to say happy birthday to Ramon Montelongo-Cavazos (my little brother
in Mexico), Jose Barker (my adorable nephew), and Mark Lowry.....how we got the same birthday,
I'll never know.
Just so you know, we WILL get back to the game.....um...and perhaps back to the gremlins as
well......they are the only "doctors" still torturing the patients....And we're not done with
Sheep-man yet....he DID just pass out on the floor in front of a gremlin. This is a bad idea.