This is complete and total nonsense so if you're not a fan of The Lost
Boys, Billy Baldwin, hating Michael, Bunny Suits, and Strip-O-Gram hooker,
Luscious Malfoy, then don't read! You have been fore-warned!
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Chapter 1: Bunny Suits
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"Yech, smells like someone died," Chelsea muttered to herself as they drove past a huge billboard that told her she was now in Santa Carla, the murder capital of the world. Yipee.
"Smells like your mom!" Ashley informed her, laughing hysterically. Chelsea soon followed after thinking about the statement for a moment.
"Girls, calm down, okay? I don't need this right now. I've got a migraine." a man, coincidently resembling Kevin Bacon, snapped at us.
"Yes sir, Captain Skelator!" Chelsea saluted him.
"Yeah," Ashley chimed in. "where's your sidekick, Boner Man?"
"Up my ass!" Kevin Bacon look-alike stated.
"Corey Haim's got a hot ass," Chelsea said, dazing.
Ashley knew that this was her moment."Your mom's got a hot ass!"
"Guaah!!" Chelsea waved her hands at Ashley, not doing anything but looking stupid in the process.
"Here we are." they somehow pulled up to a dusty road driveway really quickly, and Kevin Bacon shut the engine off.
"Yech, smells like someone died." Chelsea repeated herself.
"Shut up, man-whore!" Ashley rolled her eyes, yanking out her precious, precious "Luscious Malfoy: Strip-O-Gram Hooker: Monday-Friday at 7pm." flyer, and admiring his long white hair and pimp cane.
"I would laugh if it was ruined." Chelsea muttered.
"I'd laugh at your mom!"
"My mom is hotter than your mom!"
"EW!"
"Here's your bunny suit," Chelsea pulled a box from the trunk and planted it in Ashley's arms.
"Uh, excuse me?" came a hot voice.
Chelsea looked up and died. Well, not really. It was just a really hot guy and another ugly, taller guy standing with the hot guy. "Who are you?" she asked, completely smitten.
"I'm Sam. And this is Michael. Michael's my brother."
"I don't see the resemblance. I mean, you're hot, and you're - " Ashley eyed the curly-haired taller boy, Michael, and crinkled her nose.
"Thanks a bunch," Michael rolled his eyes.
"Did anyone ever tell you your hot?" Chelsea asked Sam. "Yeah. My dog."
"Oh."
"Is that a bunny suit?" Sam questioned.
"Maybe!" Ashley gave Sam some shifty eyes and went behind Chelsea to put on her bunny suit.
"Do you have a costume too?" Sam wanted to know.
"Yeah. Billy Baldwin! OW OW OW! But it's somewhere in that mess."
"Can we help you unpack?" Michael asked.
"Nah. But Sam can."
"Sweet," Sam picked up and box and helped them unpack. Chelsea helped when needed, but occasionally dropped a box or too on Michael's foot because he's weird, and Ashley hopped around hitting Sam in the ass with a carrot.
"Well," Michael said, dusting off his leather chaps. "I guess we better be going."
"NO!!" Chelsea shrieked.
"We live across the street," Sam told her. "you can visit anytime."
"Okie. I'll visit you when your asleep and uh, you know." she started to imitate a rather vulgar movement, but who should walk in none other than -
"Daniel Baldwin!!" Chelsea jumped up and down.
"I'm Billy Baldwin!" Billy Baldwin corrected her, holding onto a very large piece of black cardboard in his masculine hands. It had the word 'censored' written on it in yellow bubble letters. He stuck in in front of Ashleys pelvis in her bunny suit. "do that again." he instructed.
Ashley did, she imitated that ugly move from here until Sunday, with Billy Baldwin doing his job: censoring. When Ashley had finished, he had a devious smile plastered on his hot face. He threw the sign away, and walked to Michael.
"What do YOU want, Baldy?" Michael challenged.
Billy Baldwin didn't answer. He just smiled. He then yanked Michael's pants down to his ankles, and ran off with his censored sign.
"You assHOLE!" he talked the 'ass' part, but screamed the 'hole' part, so it sounded extremely gay.
"He was hot." Chelsea remembered.
Michael pulled up his pants.
"Is it true that Santa Carla is loaded with vampires?" Ashley asked.
"Yeah! And it's the murder capital of the world?" Chelsea added.
"Well, let me put it this way," Sam started. "if all the corpses were to stand up all at once, we'd have one hell of a population problem."
"Whoa!!" Ashley gushed, completely thrilled.
"Dude! You stole that from Grandpa!" Michael accoused.
"I'm sorry, I have to do this," Billy Baldwin reappeared, and pulled down Michael's pants again. "CENSORED!" he yelled, putting the 'censored' cardboard over Michael's, erm, area.
Chelsea fell to the floor laughing, as did Sam, and Ashley hopped around, smacking Sam in the ass again.
"Why do you keep doing that!?" Michael wanted to know.
"It's my job! Pulling your pants down, and censoring shit! Oops!" he put the cardboard over his mouth and said "shit' but it came out as a mind- numbing *BEEP*
"I think we better go," Sam said as Billy Baldwin left. Don't worry. He'll be back. Like the Terminator.
"Bye Sam!" Chelsea smiled. "Blech, Michael."
"Freaks!" Michael pulled up his pants and stormed out behind Sam.
As soon as they left, Ashley started screaming. "MAN WAS HE HOT!!!"
"EEE!" Chelsea agreed, and the two girls sat around eating carrots until it was time to have dinner. Carrot soup.
"I wanna be a vampire." Ashley said randomly ten minutes later.
"Yeah. Me too. Only I don't wanna eat people." Chelsea said.
"I DO!"
"Bluh?"
"Yeah. I wonder if there ARE vampires around here."
"Hopefully some hot ones."
"That could be arranged!" some hot vampire out of the blue appeared at the door. "Come join us!" he said mysteriously, which would normally scare away the person.
But these girls aren't normal.
"Come join us!!" the blonde, mullet-haired guy shouted, his words echoing off the walls.
"Okay!" Ashley and Chelsea jumped to their feet, and followed the mysterious stranger.
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Yeah, we're lame. Chelsea wrote this. I'm Chelsea. I'm also WeBuiltThisCityOnRockAndRoll. But i only write Mighty Duck fics. Until this one. I share this account with Ashley, or Jack. Whatever. And we just like to be stupid. So let us. Flame if you must, but we will only send evil thoughts your way. Mwaha. You can count on numerous appearances by our Censor Guy and Puller Of Michael's Pants guy, Billy Baldwin. And yes, more bunny suits. And YES, the Frog Brothers. This will absolutly go nowhere so yeah. Eggs.
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Chapter 1: Bunny Suits
------
"Yech, smells like someone died," Chelsea muttered to herself as they drove past a huge billboard that told her she was now in Santa Carla, the murder capital of the world. Yipee.
"Smells like your mom!" Ashley informed her, laughing hysterically. Chelsea soon followed after thinking about the statement for a moment.
"Girls, calm down, okay? I don't need this right now. I've got a migraine." a man, coincidently resembling Kevin Bacon, snapped at us.
"Yes sir, Captain Skelator!" Chelsea saluted him.
"Yeah," Ashley chimed in. "where's your sidekick, Boner Man?"
"Up my ass!" Kevin Bacon look-alike stated.
"Corey Haim's got a hot ass," Chelsea said, dazing.
Ashley knew that this was her moment."Your mom's got a hot ass!"
"Guaah!!" Chelsea waved her hands at Ashley, not doing anything but looking stupid in the process.
"Here we are." they somehow pulled up to a dusty road driveway really quickly, and Kevin Bacon shut the engine off.
"Yech, smells like someone died." Chelsea repeated herself.
"Shut up, man-whore!" Ashley rolled her eyes, yanking out her precious, precious "Luscious Malfoy: Strip-O-Gram Hooker: Monday-Friday at 7pm." flyer, and admiring his long white hair and pimp cane.
"I would laugh if it was ruined." Chelsea muttered.
"I'd laugh at your mom!"
"My mom is hotter than your mom!"
"EW!"
"Here's your bunny suit," Chelsea pulled a box from the trunk and planted it in Ashley's arms.
"Uh, excuse me?" came a hot voice.
Chelsea looked up and died. Well, not really. It was just a really hot guy and another ugly, taller guy standing with the hot guy. "Who are you?" she asked, completely smitten.
"I'm Sam. And this is Michael. Michael's my brother."
"I don't see the resemblance. I mean, you're hot, and you're - " Ashley eyed the curly-haired taller boy, Michael, and crinkled her nose.
"Thanks a bunch," Michael rolled his eyes.
"Did anyone ever tell you your hot?" Chelsea asked Sam. "Yeah. My dog."
"Oh."
"Is that a bunny suit?" Sam questioned.
"Maybe!" Ashley gave Sam some shifty eyes and went behind Chelsea to put on her bunny suit.
"Do you have a costume too?" Sam wanted to know.
"Yeah. Billy Baldwin! OW OW OW! But it's somewhere in that mess."
"Can we help you unpack?" Michael asked.
"Nah. But Sam can."
"Sweet," Sam picked up and box and helped them unpack. Chelsea helped when needed, but occasionally dropped a box or too on Michael's foot because he's weird, and Ashley hopped around hitting Sam in the ass with a carrot.
"Well," Michael said, dusting off his leather chaps. "I guess we better be going."
"NO!!" Chelsea shrieked.
"We live across the street," Sam told her. "you can visit anytime."
"Okie. I'll visit you when your asleep and uh, you know." she started to imitate a rather vulgar movement, but who should walk in none other than -
"Daniel Baldwin!!" Chelsea jumped up and down.
"I'm Billy Baldwin!" Billy Baldwin corrected her, holding onto a very large piece of black cardboard in his masculine hands. It had the word 'censored' written on it in yellow bubble letters. He stuck in in front of Ashleys pelvis in her bunny suit. "do that again." he instructed.
Ashley did, she imitated that ugly move from here until Sunday, with Billy Baldwin doing his job: censoring. When Ashley had finished, he had a devious smile plastered on his hot face. He threw the sign away, and walked to Michael.
"What do YOU want, Baldy?" Michael challenged.
Billy Baldwin didn't answer. He just smiled. He then yanked Michael's pants down to his ankles, and ran off with his censored sign.
"You assHOLE!" he talked the 'ass' part, but screamed the 'hole' part, so it sounded extremely gay.
"He was hot." Chelsea remembered.
Michael pulled up his pants.
"Is it true that Santa Carla is loaded with vampires?" Ashley asked.
"Yeah! And it's the murder capital of the world?" Chelsea added.
"Well, let me put it this way," Sam started. "if all the corpses were to stand up all at once, we'd have one hell of a population problem."
"Whoa!!" Ashley gushed, completely thrilled.
"Dude! You stole that from Grandpa!" Michael accoused.
"I'm sorry, I have to do this," Billy Baldwin reappeared, and pulled down Michael's pants again. "CENSORED!" he yelled, putting the 'censored' cardboard over Michael's, erm, area.
Chelsea fell to the floor laughing, as did Sam, and Ashley hopped around, smacking Sam in the ass again.
"Why do you keep doing that!?" Michael wanted to know.
"It's my job! Pulling your pants down, and censoring shit! Oops!" he put the cardboard over his mouth and said "shit' but it came out as a mind- numbing *BEEP*
"I think we better go," Sam said as Billy Baldwin left. Don't worry. He'll be back. Like the Terminator.
"Bye Sam!" Chelsea smiled. "Blech, Michael."
"Freaks!" Michael pulled up his pants and stormed out behind Sam.
As soon as they left, Ashley started screaming. "MAN WAS HE HOT!!!"
"EEE!" Chelsea agreed, and the two girls sat around eating carrots until it was time to have dinner. Carrot soup.
"I wanna be a vampire." Ashley said randomly ten minutes later.
"Yeah. Me too. Only I don't wanna eat people." Chelsea said.
"I DO!"
"Bluh?"
"Yeah. I wonder if there ARE vampires around here."
"Hopefully some hot ones."
"That could be arranged!" some hot vampire out of the blue appeared at the door. "Come join us!" he said mysteriously, which would normally scare away the person.
But these girls aren't normal.
"Come join us!!" the blonde, mullet-haired guy shouted, his words echoing off the walls.
"Okay!" Ashley and Chelsea jumped to their feet, and followed the mysterious stranger.
------
Yeah, we're lame. Chelsea wrote this. I'm Chelsea. I'm also WeBuiltThisCityOnRockAndRoll. But i only write Mighty Duck fics. Until this one. I share this account with Ashley, or Jack. Whatever. And we just like to be stupid. So let us. Flame if you must, but we will only send evil thoughts your way. Mwaha. You can count on numerous appearances by our Censor Guy and Puller Of Michael's Pants guy, Billy Baldwin. And yes, more bunny suits. And YES, the Frog Brothers. This will absolutly go nowhere so yeah. Eggs.