Chapter Eight: Even Leaving Takes An Entire Chapter.
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Whoops! I'm a dumbass and neither Jack nor I wanted to update. Technically, it was my (Chelsea/Ob's) turn to update, but OH WELL! MAX CASELLA IN A COP SUIT IN A BUBBLE BATH!
Aherm. I'm okay.
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"Okay, I think the Playdium is running a little dry," Chelsea piped up after David got off the merry-go-round a sixteenth time.
"YOU'RE running dry!" Ashley pointed a very intimidating finger at Chelsea, who hissed back at her, baring her fangs.
"Besides, I thought we was at Playland!" Marco cried, and Chelsea handed him a tissue. Marco blew his nose, and blood came out, spilling all over himself and some poor, defenseless six-year-old who just happen to walk under Marco with some cotton candy. The kid ran off crying, coincidentally looking like Gabriel Damon *shifty eyes* and into the bathroom.
Suddenly, Sam Emerson ran up to David, Bleeding Marco, Chelsea and Ashley, panting hard.
Ashley frowned in confusion. "What the hell have you been doing? Chelsea's right here, does that mean you were...? Were you just...? You are...? That's pretty uh..."
"Jeebus Creebus, woman will you finish a thought?!" Chelsea bellowed, attempting to slap air but accidentally slugging Ashley in the jaw. That's when Chelsea ran.
"What's the hurry, Emerson?" David asked, his mouth full of bloody cotton candy.
"Rainbow just broke down and Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Jack The Ripper, Legolas and every goddamned character in the story is DEAD! Except Billy Baldwin, of course, who shall remain the most superior man in history, since he has a large job in bleeping out swear words, which, by the way, nowadays has a mighty large percent of popularity in present-day language."
Everyone stared at Sam.
The reason wasn't quite for certain, however. It could be that his head was a little messed up from ramming into that invisible telephone pole; or that all of his friends could be dead; or maybe it was because his sentence was a large run-on one that didn't make any sense whatsoever, making him sound desperate to sound smart when he's really just crying out for help and needs to see a shrink and tell him or her than the end of the world is coming when Nick Stahl and his pack of rabid, obese turtles gnaw away at our freedom and doom mankind for all eternity while eating large buckets of --
"Will you shut up?!" Marco hawked a loogie and spit it on the ground, hitting his 'good dead self', Bill. (A/N: If you haven't seen Bill & Teds Bogus Adventure, don't ask) "Jeez, you're making fun of SAM for not making sense!" Bill & Ted, who were paralyzed from the fall off 'Rainbow', twitched under the big loogie of spit Marco spat on them.
"Nick Stahl's hot," Chelsea appeared, holding a large cardboard cut-out of Nick Stahl naked.
"SHIT! MY EYES!" David covered his eyes with his gloved hands.
"He's got a hairy chest," Ashley observed, staring.
"But mine is better, right?" Kiefer, erm, David asked, ripping his shirt open, one of the buttons hitting Chelsea in the eye.
Ashley had to see for herself. She whipped out a bright pink comb from her ponytail and combed David's chest hair; almost losing it after the mounds of curly hair almost ate it.
"Yipe!" Ashley tore her hand away from the comb, which was lodged in between blonde chest hair. "That's so gross, man."
"THAT was mature," Chelsea stated.
"I vote that we round up whoever is NOT dead and get the [blip] out of here," Sam Emerson said, Chelsea agreeing with him in an instant.
"Waiit a minute!" David held up his hands. "How come the 'f' word was bleeped out, but Charlene's naked picture of Nick Stahl wasn't bleeped out?"
"Maybe he's gay and he found the picture hot!" Sam declared, and everyone laughed. Hard.
Billy Baldwin shifted his eyes nervously.
"What ever happened to Neo, Trinity, Frodo, erm, Gimli, and erm, everyone else Jack brought into the story? OH! And those HOT-ASS newsies!! Where have they gone!?!" Chelsea darted around in circles quickly.
"Up your ass," Ashley replied, shaking her head, not really sure if she should have said anything.
"No, that's Max Casella's job -- JUST KIDDING!" Chelsea quickly added after earning SO MANY faces of disgust. Dwayne, Paul, Edgar and Alan (They somehow arrived) Sam, Marco, David, Ashley and Michael looked on in...wait a minute.
"What the fuck are YOU doing back!?" Sam demanded.
"What's with the slackness, Baldwin!? GET WITH THE PROGRAM!?" Chelsea shouted unnecessarily.
"SORRY! T-This job is s-so stressful sometimes!" Billy began to cry, and Chelsea began to laugh.
"Let's all go," Michael said, looking even paler than Marco. Marco was jealous.
"No, I'm not!" Marco protested, following the giant thumb as it pointed to a sign that said, 'Free Poison'.
Yes you are. You're jealous. You just wish you were as ugly as Michael --
"Exactly!" Michael crossed his arms, not realizing the insult.
"You know what? You're a LOUSY LEE-DER!! I mean, writer!" Marco stammered.
"Yes. NO MORE QUOTING THE SUPER MARIO BROTHERS FOR YOU!" Marco was slapped, and Chelsea laughed. Marco then fell into the vat of poison, melting his face to the bone. Marco screamed, but nobody did anything. Normally, Marco's 'good dead self', Bill S. Preston Esquire would come to the rescue, but as he was paralyzed on the cement, he wasn't capable.
William (Billy) Baldwin ran out of the shadows and got lost, then he found his way to Marco and pulled him out of the unexplained cauldron of poison, to show the world Marco's nasty ass face that was half eaten and resembled the Terminator.
Chelsea squealed like a fan girl. "TERMINATOR!!! NICK STAHL! AHHH!! STARRED WITH MEL GIBSON IN MAN WITHOUT A FACE! AAHHH STARRED IN SINGS WITH JOAQUIN PHOENIX! AHH!! WAS BROTHERS WITH RIVER PHOENIX!! AHH!! STARRED WITH COREY FELDMAN IN STAND BY ME! AAHH! STARRED WITH COREY HAIM IN THE LOST BOYS! AHH!! WHO IS GOING TO HAVE A BUBBLE BATH WITH ME WHEN WE GET HOME!"
"Okay...wait a minute!" Sam held up his finger.
"Let's go!" Chelsea grabbed Sam's hand, who grabbed Michael's, who grabbed Marco's, who grabbed David's, who grabbed one of the frogs and the other frog grabbed the other two vampira's and everyone ran out of the Playdium/Playland in a single long line. David whistled for a cab, and coincidently enough the driver was Davy Jones, one of the lead singers from THE MONKEES!
"AAHH!! IT'S A MONKEY!" Ashley screamed.
"Thas roight, love," Davy winked, although him being an old man now, it looked a little odd. Davy thought she meant the BAND 'Monkees' and Ashley actually meant the animal. Ashley popped his tires and pulled hi emergency brake and Davy Jones rolled down some unexplained hill to his death, although he shall remain loved by Chelsea.
"Cheer up sleepy jean! Oh what can it mean? To a daydream believer and a...homecoming Queen!" Chelsea sand 'Daydream Believer' by The Monkees, and she was slapped. She waved her hand for another taxi and the person driving it this time was just simply Michael Jackson.
"Let's go home and we'll ALL have a bubble bath!" David shrieked like a girl, hopping like madwoman.
"No WAY am I getting in the bath with THAT thing!" The two Frog brothers said in unison, referring to Marco, who still had half of his face melted away, kind of resembling the driver of the cab.
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Whoops! I'm a dumbass and neither Jack nor I wanted to update. Technically, it was my (Chelsea/Ob's) turn to update, but OH WELL! MAX CASELLA IN A COP SUIT IN A BUBBLE BATH!
Aherm. I'm okay.
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"Okay, I think the Playdium is running a little dry," Chelsea piped up after David got off the merry-go-round a sixteenth time.
"YOU'RE running dry!" Ashley pointed a very intimidating finger at Chelsea, who hissed back at her, baring her fangs.
"Besides, I thought we was at Playland!" Marco cried, and Chelsea handed him a tissue. Marco blew his nose, and blood came out, spilling all over himself and some poor, defenseless six-year-old who just happen to walk under Marco with some cotton candy. The kid ran off crying, coincidentally looking like Gabriel Damon *shifty eyes* and into the bathroom.
Suddenly, Sam Emerson ran up to David, Bleeding Marco, Chelsea and Ashley, panting hard.
Ashley frowned in confusion. "What the hell have you been doing? Chelsea's right here, does that mean you were...? Were you just...? You are...? That's pretty uh..."
"Jeebus Creebus, woman will you finish a thought?!" Chelsea bellowed, attempting to slap air but accidentally slugging Ashley in the jaw. That's when Chelsea ran.
"What's the hurry, Emerson?" David asked, his mouth full of bloody cotton candy.
"Rainbow just broke down and Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Jack The Ripper, Legolas and every goddamned character in the story is DEAD! Except Billy Baldwin, of course, who shall remain the most superior man in history, since he has a large job in bleeping out swear words, which, by the way, nowadays has a mighty large percent of popularity in present-day language."
Everyone stared at Sam.
The reason wasn't quite for certain, however. It could be that his head was a little messed up from ramming into that invisible telephone pole; or that all of his friends could be dead; or maybe it was because his sentence was a large run-on one that didn't make any sense whatsoever, making him sound desperate to sound smart when he's really just crying out for help and needs to see a shrink and tell him or her than the end of the world is coming when Nick Stahl and his pack of rabid, obese turtles gnaw away at our freedom and doom mankind for all eternity while eating large buckets of --
"Will you shut up?!" Marco hawked a loogie and spit it on the ground, hitting his 'good dead self', Bill. (A/N: If you haven't seen Bill & Teds Bogus Adventure, don't ask) "Jeez, you're making fun of SAM for not making sense!" Bill & Ted, who were paralyzed from the fall off 'Rainbow', twitched under the big loogie of spit Marco spat on them.
"Nick Stahl's hot," Chelsea appeared, holding a large cardboard cut-out of Nick Stahl naked.
"SHIT! MY EYES!" David covered his eyes with his gloved hands.
"He's got a hairy chest," Ashley observed, staring.
"But mine is better, right?" Kiefer, erm, David asked, ripping his shirt open, one of the buttons hitting Chelsea in the eye.
Ashley had to see for herself. She whipped out a bright pink comb from her ponytail and combed David's chest hair; almost losing it after the mounds of curly hair almost ate it.
"Yipe!" Ashley tore her hand away from the comb, which was lodged in between blonde chest hair. "That's so gross, man."
"THAT was mature," Chelsea stated.
"I vote that we round up whoever is NOT dead and get the [blip] out of here," Sam Emerson said, Chelsea agreeing with him in an instant.
"Waiit a minute!" David held up his hands. "How come the 'f' word was bleeped out, but Charlene's naked picture of Nick Stahl wasn't bleeped out?"
"Maybe he's gay and he found the picture hot!" Sam declared, and everyone laughed. Hard.
Billy Baldwin shifted his eyes nervously.
"What ever happened to Neo, Trinity, Frodo, erm, Gimli, and erm, everyone else Jack brought into the story? OH! And those HOT-ASS newsies!! Where have they gone!?!" Chelsea darted around in circles quickly.
"Up your ass," Ashley replied, shaking her head, not really sure if she should have said anything.
"No, that's Max Casella's job -- JUST KIDDING!" Chelsea quickly added after earning SO MANY faces of disgust. Dwayne, Paul, Edgar and Alan (They somehow arrived) Sam, Marco, David, Ashley and Michael looked on in...wait a minute.
"What the fuck are YOU doing back!?" Sam demanded.
"What's with the slackness, Baldwin!? GET WITH THE PROGRAM!?" Chelsea shouted unnecessarily.
"SORRY! T-This job is s-so stressful sometimes!" Billy began to cry, and Chelsea began to laugh.
"Let's all go," Michael said, looking even paler than Marco. Marco was jealous.
"No, I'm not!" Marco protested, following the giant thumb as it pointed to a sign that said, 'Free Poison'.
Yes you are. You're jealous. You just wish you were as ugly as Michael --
"Exactly!" Michael crossed his arms, not realizing the insult.
"You know what? You're a LOUSY LEE-DER!! I mean, writer!" Marco stammered.
"Yes. NO MORE QUOTING THE SUPER MARIO BROTHERS FOR YOU!" Marco was slapped, and Chelsea laughed. Marco then fell into the vat of poison, melting his face to the bone. Marco screamed, but nobody did anything. Normally, Marco's 'good dead self', Bill S. Preston Esquire would come to the rescue, but as he was paralyzed on the cement, he wasn't capable.
William (Billy) Baldwin ran out of the shadows and got lost, then he found his way to Marco and pulled him out of the unexplained cauldron of poison, to show the world Marco's nasty ass face that was half eaten and resembled the Terminator.
Chelsea squealed like a fan girl. "TERMINATOR!!! NICK STAHL! AHHH!! STARRED WITH MEL GIBSON IN MAN WITHOUT A FACE! AAHHH STARRED IN SINGS WITH JOAQUIN PHOENIX! AHH!! WAS BROTHERS WITH RIVER PHOENIX!! AHH!! STARRED WITH COREY FELDMAN IN STAND BY ME! AAHH! STARRED WITH COREY HAIM IN THE LOST BOYS! AHH!! WHO IS GOING TO HAVE A BUBBLE BATH WITH ME WHEN WE GET HOME!"
"Okay...wait a minute!" Sam held up his finger.
"Let's go!" Chelsea grabbed Sam's hand, who grabbed Michael's, who grabbed Marco's, who grabbed David's, who grabbed one of the frogs and the other frog grabbed the other two vampira's and everyone ran out of the Playdium/Playland in a single long line. David whistled for a cab, and coincidently enough the driver was Davy Jones, one of the lead singers from THE MONKEES!
"AAHH!! IT'S A MONKEY!" Ashley screamed.
"Thas roight, love," Davy winked, although him being an old man now, it looked a little odd. Davy thought she meant the BAND 'Monkees' and Ashley actually meant the animal. Ashley popped his tires and pulled hi emergency brake and Davy Jones rolled down some unexplained hill to his death, although he shall remain loved by Chelsea.
"Cheer up sleepy jean! Oh what can it mean? To a daydream believer and a...homecoming Queen!" Chelsea sand 'Daydream Believer' by The Monkees, and she was slapped. She waved her hand for another taxi and the person driving it this time was just simply Michael Jackson.
"Let's go home and we'll ALL have a bubble bath!" David shrieked like a girl, hopping like madwoman.
"No WAY am I getting in the bath with THAT thing!" The two Frog brothers said in unison, referring to Marco, who still had half of his face melted away, kind of resembling the driver of the cab.
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