- Orchard, Ireland -
Artemis regained consciousness just as the translator exploded, the bright orange light hurting his eyes. It felt as though someone had stuffed his head with cotton, plugging his ears with it and using some to dry out his mouth just for good measure. It took him a moment to remember where he was, sitting up and holding a hand to his head. The flash made it all that much harder to see in the growling darkness, but there were voices.
"Narda!"
"Mulch, nice of you to show up." There was a sharp intake of breath, as if she were in pain.
"We need to get you to a doctor." The concern in butler's voice was thinly veiled, and Butler - in fact, his entire family - didn't scare easily.
"Kip." Artemis shook his head to clear it, looking toward the small circle of light from Butler's flashlight. "Oh my God."
She grimaced. "Yeah, not my color, really." Her right hand from the elbow down was covered with orange goo that clung to her and yet also seemed to be burning her skin as she tried to wipe it off with the hem of her shirt.
Butler reached out gingerly with his handkerchief, dabbing at her wrist. "Katherine, I really think - "
"That we should explain to a doctor that I was injured by an exploding translator that made it possible for the wearer to speak gnomish? Please." Here eyes were closed and she was quite pale.
Butler, despite being cautious, had gotten some of the slime on his fingers. He rubbed it experimentally on his palm before discarding the handkerchief entirely. "This burns you?" he asked, taking her hand in his own and starting to peel the goopy layer off.
Kip hissed in pain. "No, don't stop - get it off, please." She swallowed. "Yes, that burns."
"It's for fairies only, then," Mulch muttered. "They figured it out . . ."
"Who figured what out?" Artemis said testily. He didn't like seeing Kip like this.
"The Gremlins. They've always wanted to take the Earth back from the Mud Men, but the fairies have always been strong enough to stop them. That's where everyone is. The Lower Elements are empty," he continued quickly. "My guess is they've been captured by the Gremlins. That's fairy magic there," he explained, indicating the stuff on Kip's arm. "Fairy magic, taken forcibly and then processed by the Gremlins. Their entire world only works with fairy magic."
"Good for them." Kip was pressing her face into Butler's shoulder with the pain, but Artemis was on the wrong side of her to comfort her. That, and he was doubting he could stand.
"So they've been captured and taken . . . where? For what?" Artemis asked. "Why would they want to hurt Kip?"
"They didn't; if she hadn't taken that off you, that would've been your brains spattered all around here. They've heard about you, I guess, from Holly's memory or something, because they see you as a threat." Mulch sighed. "Look, I'll put it simply: the Gremlins are forcibly removing the fairies of their magic one by one in preparation for taking over the world. And they got help, somehow, from someone else."
"There." Butler had thoroughly cleaned off her arm, which now looked like it had suffered a second degree burn. "We'll just get you back to the house and bandage that up."
Kip nodded stiltedly. "My magic's not working on it."
"It won't. That orange stuff - it drains magic when you touch it. When you get close to it, it hurts so bad you don't want to touch it."
"How do you know all this?" Artemis asked, irritated.
"History. They've tried this before, but they didn't manage to get everyone." Mulch looked scared.
Butler nodded. "There's nothing we can do tonight but get back to the Manor and get some rest. Artemis, can you walk?"
In answer the young man climbed to his feet, wavering a bit, but staying vertical. "I should be able to."
"Good." Butler nodded, picking Kip up. "You're coming with us," he told Mulch, starting back home through the darkness.
Artemis sighed, following. Like they needed anything more difficult at the moment. "Come on," he said to Mulch, as the dwarf seemed hesitant. "We've enough extra rooms for you." God, he was really looking forward to his waterbed and feather pillows tonight. They couldn't get back soon enough.
- Fowl Manor, Ireland -
Artemis had never had a hangover, but he was willing to bet it was not worse than this. His brain was still in a fog when he woke up the next morning, something even a long hot shower couldn't clear, and the light was really painful to his eyes. Basically, sleep had done nothing to make him feel better, and he was betting popping aspirin like candy wasn't going to help much, either, but it was worth a shot.
When he came out of his room it was to meet a disgusted Juliet, Butler's little sister who looked out for Angeline. "I don't get what the big deal is, Arty," she said, popping her gum loudly. "Not like there's anything wrong with that girl."
Artemis winced at the nickname his mother had for him, putting a hand to his head like he could squeeze some sense out of it. "What?"
Juliet just rolled her eyes. "Breakfast'll be ready once you get downstairs," she said over her shoulder, already headed toward the kitchen.
"Artemis!"
There was no other voice he wanted to hear more at that moment. "Kip," he sighed, turning around.
She smiled. "You look awful."
He caught her right hand. "You look better." There was no sign of the previous night's damage.
"I suppose my magic grows back." She disentangled her fingers from his own, running them along his hairline where the translator had been. The result was instantaneous relief.
Artemis sighed, taking her hand once more in his own. "That's more like it."
She hugged him, tucking her head under his chin. "That really scared me last night. If I'd been a second too slow -"
"But you weren't." He held her tightly. "We're both fine."
"Artemis." Kip pulled back, looking up at him. "It's going to be dangerous, going after them."
He recognized how she instantly knew they would be accepting the assumed task. "That's what Butler's for."
"But I feel awful, lying to your parents. How are we going to explain it, just packing up and going of for an indefinite amount of time?"
Artemis hadn't even thought of that. He didn't like lying to them either, especially his mother. "I . . . will have Butler think of something," he said slowly, earning a reproving look. "Hey, I wasn't exactly bargaining for all of this, you know!"
"And I was?" She narrowed her eyes slightly, but had to laugh. "All right, all right. Truce?"
He was hoping that, if he stayed silent long enough, she'd kiss him.
He wasn't disappointed.
* * *
He was developing a headache, but this time he could only blame himself. It had been a long time since he'd spent all day staring into the glow of a computer screen in a room that was not properly lit. Artemis stretched, pushing back from the desk in the study. He didn't even hear Kip come in.
She stood a moment in the doorway, holding a book to her chest like it was a shield, hesitating. Finally he looked up, a smile breaking out on his face. "Hey. Mulch back yet?" Artemis had sent Mulch down into the Lower Elements while he went online, trying to figure out the same thing: where should they start looking for the Gremlin headquarters?
"He was here earlier, for lunch, but he went back."
Artemis frowned. "What's wrong?"
She silently handed him the book and at first he was puzzled. There was a dog-eared page about halfway through - obviously she was not done reading - and it was all in Gnomish. It had been years since he's memorized the writing, years in which to forget, but two words caught his attention: Artemis Fowl. He swallowed. "What is this?"
"Mulch brought it to me. It's the first half of their file on you." Kip folded her arms, leaning against the wall. "The fairy who wrote it said it was 94% fact and 6% 'unavoidable extrapolation.'"
The first half of the file. That would undoubtedly cover that first incident, the kidnapping of Holly. She was only halfway through, but the second part was not bound to show him in a much better light. "I see . . ."
"I don't. Artemis, did you really do that to her? Kidnap her, hold her for ransom . . ."
"Yes."
The words seemed to pile up so she could not get them out. "Why?" she finally asked softly.
"My father'd been missing a year, my mother was undeniably and quite literally crazy with grief, and there was a very real chance we could lose the manor. I had to grow up really quickly."
She snorted. "Yeah, well, so did I. I mean, first it took them years to figure out my father wasn't about to come get me, and by then any chance of adoption had passed and they just kept me in the orphanage with the nuns who schooled me and raised me, sort of, but there's only so much they can do. They're Catholic, Artemis. Do you have any idea how they view children 'born out of wedlock'?"
"Kip. I was a kid, one who really thought he could get his parents back. And I did, by the way, just for the record."
"And the ends justify the means? I'm trying to understand you, Arty, but it just isn't happening."
Arty. That was the first time she had called him any sort of nickname and, unlike the times it came from Juliet's mouth, he knew he wanted to hear her say it again. "Come here." He took her hands, pulling her to sit on his lap and wrapping his arms around her. For a moment he was silent, just holding her. "I don't know if I can explain it," he said at last. "It's just . . . in the beginning, they weren't real. Holly wasn't like a person; she was a fairy, a means to get gold. And I wanted gold."
"Gold for a mansion I could sell and live on for five lifetimes."
He laughed. "I've never known anything different, remember? This is my home. And as a home . . ."
"You would do anything to keep it, anything for your family."
"Yes."
Kip pulled back enough to look him in the eye. "We used to tell stories, in the orphanage, about the sort of families we'd want. Except even orphans don't get to choose; we're stuck with who wants us. And I got stuck with Mulch."
"And me." He brushed her hair out of her eyes.
"No." Kip shook her head. "I chose you. We chose each other."
Artemis smiled. "So . . . you can forgive me?"
Kip shrugged. "That's not who you are anymore. At least, not unless you're hiding a lot more from me."
"I swear I'm not. Does that mean you don't have to read the rest?" He grinned to make fun of the hopefulness in his voice.
"Nice try." She leaned back against him, breath warm on his neck. "Any luck today?"
"I have absolutely no clue where to look. If their locators still worked -"
"You'd probably find them on whaling ships headed off the coast and about to explode."
Artemis winced. "The world could do with fewer whalers."
"I'm not about to argue with you on that; it's just that, even if we could track them like that, I'm not so sure I'd trust our data. 'Course, this comes from a girl who can't even turn on a computer without frying it completely."
"Ah. Then stay away from mine; I need them."
"Idiot!" Kip laughed, standing up and pulling him to his feet, letting him catch her in a hug. "I love you, Arty."
The smile on his face was bright enough to light a thousand cities. "I love you, too, Narda," he said softly, kissing her for good measure. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. Not that he was complaining . . .
- Haven City -
Mulch was more than a little annoyed. You'd think the Gremlins would have at least been sloppy enough to leave a clue or something, some random thing that would make the light bulb go on in Artemis' head at least. After all, they probably thought he was dead.
The dwarf banged his fist on the wall as he walked down a corridor, ready to give up. Heck, Artemis and Kip probably wouldn't mind a jaunt around the world under the ruse of searching for everyone else. He smiled. They might even welcome it, but they'd have to take him along, and Butler, and get back to business eventually.
Mulch half-heartedly scolded himself for thinking like that. If he did it often enough, then he'd slip up sometime in front of her and she'd backhand him into a wall. She'd taken Karate and Judo lessons, at the very least. How they got those in a Catholic school, he'd no idea, but the girl was more dangerous than she looked.
So, moving on, steadily pounding like a metronome, Mulch managed to send up a cloud of dust once he got to one particular stretch. It made him sneeze a couple times before he realized it was dust from the floor that had been smeared over the wall to cover faint knife marks. Faint, but readable. He thought. Well, he could read the letters, but he had no idea what they meant. That's what Artemis was for.
- Place Unknown -
Gremlins. The things were gremlins and they were draining the power out of the fairies one by one. How did they find this out? Sorry, Foaly, but brainpower had nothing to do with it. Just, one day, the normal slit appeared and a cloaked figure reached in to snatch Holly out. She was in terrible condition when they threw her back in, weak and, of course, drained of all magic.
Root kept saying "D'Arvit" about every thirty seconds. Foaly was ready to kick him. Chix was simply sitting on the floor, shaking from the toes of his boots to the tips of his little pointy ears.
But it wasn't just the fact that they realized the Gremlins were actually close to being able to take back the world - it was the fact that Holly had "accidentally" overheard them talking about the murder of Artemis Fowl, the only one on the outside who even had a chance of rescuing him.
So, in this case, "D'Arvit" meant "We're doomed." Loosely translated, of course.
Artemis regained consciousness just as the translator exploded, the bright orange light hurting his eyes. It felt as though someone had stuffed his head with cotton, plugging his ears with it and using some to dry out his mouth just for good measure. It took him a moment to remember where he was, sitting up and holding a hand to his head. The flash made it all that much harder to see in the growling darkness, but there were voices.
"Narda!"
"Mulch, nice of you to show up." There was a sharp intake of breath, as if she were in pain.
"We need to get you to a doctor." The concern in butler's voice was thinly veiled, and Butler - in fact, his entire family - didn't scare easily.
"Kip." Artemis shook his head to clear it, looking toward the small circle of light from Butler's flashlight. "Oh my God."
She grimaced. "Yeah, not my color, really." Her right hand from the elbow down was covered with orange goo that clung to her and yet also seemed to be burning her skin as she tried to wipe it off with the hem of her shirt.
Butler reached out gingerly with his handkerchief, dabbing at her wrist. "Katherine, I really think - "
"That we should explain to a doctor that I was injured by an exploding translator that made it possible for the wearer to speak gnomish? Please." Here eyes were closed and she was quite pale.
Butler, despite being cautious, had gotten some of the slime on his fingers. He rubbed it experimentally on his palm before discarding the handkerchief entirely. "This burns you?" he asked, taking her hand in his own and starting to peel the goopy layer off.
Kip hissed in pain. "No, don't stop - get it off, please." She swallowed. "Yes, that burns."
"It's for fairies only, then," Mulch muttered. "They figured it out . . ."
"Who figured what out?" Artemis said testily. He didn't like seeing Kip like this.
"The Gremlins. They've always wanted to take the Earth back from the Mud Men, but the fairies have always been strong enough to stop them. That's where everyone is. The Lower Elements are empty," he continued quickly. "My guess is they've been captured by the Gremlins. That's fairy magic there," he explained, indicating the stuff on Kip's arm. "Fairy magic, taken forcibly and then processed by the Gremlins. Their entire world only works with fairy magic."
"Good for them." Kip was pressing her face into Butler's shoulder with the pain, but Artemis was on the wrong side of her to comfort her. That, and he was doubting he could stand.
"So they've been captured and taken . . . where? For what?" Artemis asked. "Why would they want to hurt Kip?"
"They didn't; if she hadn't taken that off you, that would've been your brains spattered all around here. They've heard about you, I guess, from Holly's memory or something, because they see you as a threat." Mulch sighed. "Look, I'll put it simply: the Gremlins are forcibly removing the fairies of their magic one by one in preparation for taking over the world. And they got help, somehow, from someone else."
"There." Butler had thoroughly cleaned off her arm, which now looked like it had suffered a second degree burn. "We'll just get you back to the house and bandage that up."
Kip nodded stiltedly. "My magic's not working on it."
"It won't. That orange stuff - it drains magic when you touch it. When you get close to it, it hurts so bad you don't want to touch it."
"How do you know all this?" Artemis asked, irritated.
"History. They've tried this before, but they didn't manage to get everyone." Mulch looked scared.
Butler nodded. "There's nothing we can do tonight but get back to the Manor and get some rest. Artemis, can you walk?"
In answer the young man climbed to his feet, wavering a bit, but staying vertical. "I should be able to."
"Good." Butler nodded, picking Kip up. "You're coming with us," he told Mulch, starting back home through the darkness.
Artemis sighed, following. Like they needed anything more difficult at the moment. "Come on," he said to Mulch, as the dwarf seemed hesitant. "We've enough extra rooms for you." God, he was really looking forward to his waterbed and feather pillows tonight. They couldn't get back soon enough.
- Fowl Manor, Ireland -
Artemis had never had a hangover, but he was willing to bet it was not worse than this. His brain was still in a fog when he woke up the next morning, something even a long hot shower couldn't clear, and the light was really painful to his eyes. Basically, sleep had done nothing to make him feel better, and he was betting popping aspirin like candy wasn't going to help much, either, but it was worth a shot.
When he came out of his room it was to meet a disgusted Juliet, Butler's little sister who looked out for Angeline. "I don't get what the big deal is, Arty," she said, popping her gum loudly. "Not like there's anything wrong with that girl."
Artemis winced at the nickname his mother had for him, putting a hand to his head like he could squeeze some sense out of it. "What?"
Juliet just rolled her eyes. "Breakfast'll be ready once you get downstairs," she said over her shoulder, already headed toward the kitchen.
"Artemis!"
There was no other voice he wanted to hear more at that moment. "Kip," he sighed, turning around.
She smiled. "You look awful."
He caught her right hand. "You look better." There was no sign of the previous night's damage.
"I suppose my magic grows back." She disentangled her fingers from his own, running them along his hairline where the translator had been. The result was instantaneous relief.
Artemis sighed, taking her hand once more in his own. "That's more like it."
She hugged him, tucking her head under his chin. "That really scared me last night. If I'd been a second too slow -"
"But you weren't." He held her tightly. "We're both fine."
"Artemis." Kip pulled back, looking up at him. "It's going to be dangerous, going after them."
He recognized how she instantly knew they would be accepting the assumed task. "That's what Butler's for."
"But I feel awful, lying to your parents. How are we going to explain it, just packing up and going of for an indefinite amount of time?"
Artemis hadn't even thought of that. He didn't like lying to them either, especially his mother. "I . . . will have Butler think of something," he said slowly, earning a reproving look. "Hey, I wasn't exactly bargaining for all of this, you know!"
"And I was?" She narrowed her eyes slightly, but had to laugh. "All right, all right. Truce?"
He was hoping that, if he stayed silent long enough, she'd kiss him.
He wasn't disappointed.
* * *
He was developing a headache, but this time he could only blame himself. It had been a long time since he'd spent all day staring into the glow of a computer screen in a room that was not properly lit. Artemis stretched, pushing back from the desk in the study. He didn't even hear Kip come in.
She stood a moment in the doorway, holding a book to her chest like it was a shield, hesitating. Finally he looked up, a smile breaking out on his face. "Hey. Mulch back yet?" Artemis had sent Mulch down into the Lower Elements while he went online, trying to figure out the same thing: where should they start looking for the Gremlin headquarters?
"He was here earlier, for lunch, but he went back."
Artemis frowned. "What's wrong?"
She silently handed him the book and at first he was puzzled. There was a dog-eared page about halfway through - obviously she was not done reading - and it was all in Gnomish. It had been years since he's memorized the writing, years in which to forget, but two words caught his attention: Artemis Fowl. He swallowed. "What is this?"
"Mulch brought it to me. It's the first half of their file on you." Kip folded her arms, leaning against the wall. "The fairy who wrote it said it was 94% fact and 6% 'unavoidable extrapolation.'"
The first half of the file. That would undoubtedly cover that first incident, the kidnapping of Holly. She was only halfway through, but the second part was not bound to show him in a much better light. "I see . . ."
"I don't. Artemis, did you really do that to her? Kidnap her, hold her for ransom . . ."
"Yes."
The words seemed to pile up so she could not get them out. "Why?" she finally asked softly.
"My father'd been missing a year, my mother was undeniably and quite literally crazy with grief, and there was a very real chance we could lose the manor. I had to grow up really quickly."
She snorted. "Yeah, well, so did I. I mean, first it took them years to figure out my father wasn't about to come get me, and by then any chance of adoption had passed and they just kept me in the orphanage with the nuns who schooled me and raised me, sort of, but there's only so much they can do. They're Catholic, Artemis. Do you have any idea how they view children 'born out of wedlock'?"
"Kip. I was a kid, one who really thought he could get his parents back. And I did, by the way, just for the record."
"And the ends justify the means? I'm trying to understand you, Arty, but it just isn't happening."
Arty. That was the first time she had called him any sort of nickname and, unlike the times it came from Juliet's mouth, he knew he wanted to hear her say it again. "Come here." He took her hands, pulling her to sit on his lap and wrapping his arms around her. For a moment he was silent, just holding her. "I don't know if I can explain it," he said at last. "It's just . . . in the beginning, they weren't real. Holly wasn't like a person; she was a fairy, a means to get gold. And I wanted gold."
"Gold for a mansion I could sell and live on for five lifetimes."
He laughed. "I've never known anything different, remember? This is my home. And as a home . . ."
"You would do anything to keep it, anything for your family."
"Yes."
Kip pulled back enough to look him in the eye. "We used to tell stories, in the orphanage, about the sort of families we'd want. Except even orphans don't get to choose; we're stuck with who wants us. And I got stuck with Mulch."
"And me." He brushed her hair out of her eyes.
"No." Kip shook her head. "I chose you. We chose each other."
Artemis smiled. "So . . . you can forgive me?"
Kip shrugged. "That's not who you are anymore. At least, not unless you're hiding a lot more from me."
"I swear I'm not. Does that mean you don't have to read the rest?" He grinned to make fun of the hopefulness in his voice.
"Nice try." She leaned back against him, breath warm on his neck. "Any luck today?"
"I have absolutely no clue where to look. If their locators still worked -"
"You'd probably find them on whaling ships headed off the coast and about to explode."
Artemis winced. "The world could do with fewer whalers."
"I'm not about to argue with you on that; it's just that, even if we could track them like that, I'm not so sure I'd trust our data. 'Course, this comes from a girl who can't even turn on a computer without frying it completely."
"Ah. Then stay away from mine; I need them."
"Idiot!" Kip laughed, standing up and pulling him to his feet, letting him catch her in a hug. "I love you, Arty."
The smile on his face was bright enough to light a thousand cities. "I love you, too, Narda," he said softly, kissing her for good measure. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. Not that he was complaining . . .
- Haven City -
Mulch was more than a little annoyed. You'd think the Gremlins would have at least been sloppy enough to leave a clue or something, some random thing that would make the light bulb go on in Artemis' head at least. After all, they probably thought he was dead.
The dwarf banged his fist on the wall as he walked down a corridor, ready to give up. Heck, Artemis and Kip probably wouldn't mind a jaunt around the world under the ruse of searching for everyone else. He smiled. They might even welcome it, but they'd have to take him along, and Butler, and get back to business eventually.
Mulch half-heartedly scolded himself for thinking like that. If he did it often enough, then he'd slip up sometime in front of her and she'd backhand him into a wall. She'd taken Karate and Judo lessons, at the very least. How they got those in a Catholic school, he'd no idea, but the girl was more dangerous than she looked.
So, moving on, steadily pounding like a metronome, Mulch managed to send up a cloud of dust once he got to one particular stretch. It made him sneeze a couple times before he realized it was dust from the floor that had been smeared over the wall to cover faint knife marks. Faint, but readable. He thought. Well, he could read the letters, but he had no idea what they meant. That's what Artemis was for.
- Place Unknown -
Gremlins. The things were gremlins and they were draining the power out of the fairies one by one. How did they find this out? Sorry, Foaly, but brainpower had nothing to do with it. Just, one day, the normal slit appeared and a cloaked figure reached in to snatch Holly out. She was in terrible condition when they threw her back in, weak and, of course, drained of all magic.
Root kept saying "D'Arvit" about every thirty seconds. Foaly was ready to kick him. Chix was simply sitting on the floor, shaking from the toes of his boots to the tips of his little pointy ears.
But it wasn't just the fact that they realized the Gremlins were actually close to being able to take back the world - it was the fact that Holly had "accidentally" overheard them talking about the murder of Artemis Fowl, the only one on the outside who even had a chance of rescuing him.
So, in this case, "D'Arvit" meant "We're doomed." Loosely translated, of course.