Magneto bangs on Jean's door. Jean and Ororo jump about a foot in the air
and break apart, quickly. The door swings open and Maggie is stood there,
holding a basket full of dirty clothes. "Hi! I'm just doing some washing,
got anything you want..." He stops. "All this stuff on the floor, right?"
"No! Well, everything except that dress. That's dry-clean only."
"Oh, right." He starts picking up clothes and putting them in the basket.
"Are you wearing an apron?" Jean enquires.
"Yes," says Maggie, with dignity. And he is. It's red with a black trim.
"Fair enough," Jean replies, knowing what Charlie's worn in the past, which in comparison doesn't make Maggie's apron seem so bad.
"I'm going to go and put this washing on, and then I'll go make dinner for us all," Maggie announces.
"Can you cook?" Ororo asks nosily.
"Don't know, never tried before," Maggie says airily. "We'll soon find out!"
* * * * *
Maggie's cooking. Well, his idea of cooking. He found a recipe book Jean bought Ororo for Christmas one year as a joke, in Rogue's room when she was clearing out, and now he's got it open on a random page, which happens to be shepherd's pie. "Easy," he says with a grin. "There's no need to follow the recipe exactly, of course, as long as it LOOKS right it'll be okay. Now what do I need?"
Jean sticks her head around the door and gasps. "You've cleaned the kitchen!"
"How on earth was I supposed to cook in the mess you left it in??? I've cleaned the whole place out. And I chucked out the mysterious green thing in the back of the fridge."
"Ororo will KILL you!" Jean shrieks. "That was her experiment!"
"Experiment or not, it was extremely unhygienic."
"And majorly difficult to hide from Katherine," Jean adds. "She'd go mad if she found it."
"What did it used to be?" Maggie asks nervously.
"Pizza. I think." Jean pauses. "Or was it? After two or three years it became pretty unrecognisable."
"Alright. Well, I'm busy here, so if you don't mind..."
Jean leaves promptly, before Maggie can throw a spoon at her. She's just on her way into the sitting room to watch TV with Ororo when she hears a scream from upstairs.
"What, what, what, what, what?" Jean shrieks, bounding up the stairs two at a time and yanking open Katherine's door. "What happened?"
Katherine is sat at her computer, gasping for breath. "I was--I was checking our status on the popularity polls. And they've done this month's vote, and we've been pushed out of Spider-Man's place right to the bottom again!"
"At least we'll be twenty-ninth now." Jean shrugs optimistically.
"No!" Katherine yelps. "No, we're not, because they've unfrozen Captain America!"
"No," Jean says, disbelieving and shaking her head. "No, no, no, no, no. They can't have done."
"We need a team meeting," Katherine says gravely.
* * * * *
And so everyone's gathered in the changing rooms for a meeting. Kurt, Jean, Ororo and Katherine are sat on a bench, Logan and Maggie are sat on the floor, and Charlie has his wheelchair next to the bench. Rogue is perched on a chair near Kurt.
"We are in so much trouble," Katherine sighs. "We've kidnapped Peter, ruined my relationship with him, then I hit him round the face, and for what? Only to find ourselves back in the same position we were before!" She breaks down and sobs.
"Es ist okay," Kurt says, putting his arm around her. "Katherine, don't cry..." He hands her a tissue.
Logan sighs. "So what's happened?"
"They unfroze Captain America!" Jean yells. "After twenty years, they unfroze him!!! How could they??? Oh, my life is OVER!"
"Wait." Logan stares at her. "They unfroze Captain America?"
"Yes!" she squeals woefully.
And suddenly, Logan starts to remember something. Something from long ago. A war. A war, and planes, and a concentration camp. Him and someone else. Him and... oh, hell, it was Captain America, wasn't it???
Logan swears loudly and unpleasantly. "I used to work with the Captain!" he growls. "In world war two!"
"Groovy!" says Charlie.
"Yeah, and that's not all. Me and him, we were--" He stops. "Close friends," he finishes lamely.
"Oh my god, Logan's a pendulum!" Jean shrieks.
"I already knew that," Ororo says in a ha-ha-I-knew-that-and-you-didn't sort of way.
"In those days I wasn't a pendulum, I was fully and properly a--" He stops again.
"Logan's gay, Logan's gay," Rogue sings.
"You're a heshe!" Logan argues back.
"For goodness sake, we're ALL gay," Maggie says with a sigh. He's still wearing his apron, having been interrupted while cooking. "Well, except Katherine."
Everyone turns to look at her. "No, I'm sorry..." she looks embarrassed. "I've only ever been attracted to men." She looks at her hands.
"Wait!" Logan yells. "Ororo, how did you know?"
"I found your--I mean, I uhm, guessed."
"Ororo Munroe, I am going to rip off your hands and use them to gouge out your eyeballs so I can stuff them where the sun don't shine so you can watch me kick the hell outta you!"
"I'll let you watch me and Jean together if you don't murder me," Ororo says with a slight grin.
Logan growls. "Alright, you win. But don't ever read my magazines again."
"Can we get back to the point, please?" Katherine asks, after blowing her nose one last time. "What are we going to do about our situation?"
"Go out an' do the superhero slash vigilante bit an' kill bad guys?" Rogue suggests.
"You can tell she's new at this," Jean says. "That's too much work, duh!"
"Well, how do you do it?" Rogue snorts huffily.
"Sabotage, sabotage, and more sabotage!" Ororo says proudly. "Oh, and ignoring housework because you don't have time for it. And abusing your powers to sneak into the cinema for free."
Rogue shakes her head. "Ah thought we were here to stop corrupt villains."
"I got no idea who told you that, but they're up their eyeballs in delusion," Logan says sadly. "We're the corrupted ones. Just look at Ororo."
"Hey!" Ororo snaps. "That's not fair, Wolvie."
"I was just using you as an example. It was your idea, after all, to use Katherine' and Kurt's powers to sneak into seven films all in the same day."
Ororo thinks for a moment. "Yes, but you got Kurt and Katherine to go into the bank to get you a 'loan'!!!"
"Children, children," interrupts Maggie, "you could argue about who robbed a bank until the cows come home. But I have work to do, or no one'll be getting any dinner. Now, if you don't mind..." And with a swish of his apron he turns and heads up the stairs back to the kitchen.
"So is that all you do?" Rogue asks. "Ah mean, do you just go round New York committing horrendously illegal crimes?"
"Pretty much," Kurt says. "Although we do go on missions occasionally. Emergency doughnut runs and so on."
"An' you wonder why you're not popular?" Rogue cries. "You need to be keeping the law, not breaking it! Working hard on your own work, not sabotaging others!"
All the remaining X-Men look at each other. "Why on earth didn't I think of that?" Charlie questions.
"Because it's stupid, duh," Ororo says lazily.
"No, I think it could really work," Jean says surprising everyone, especially herself. Katherine nods in agreement. "I say we try being proper superheroes for a week! Who's in?"
Kurt and Logan just look at each other. Katherine and Jean raise their hands, and after a moment's hesitation, so does Ororo. Rogue mumbles, "it was mah plan!" and then raises her own hand. Charlie shakes his head.
"Come on, Charlie! It's only for a week!" Jean insists.
"It'll be so much WORK!" Charlie howls. "Alright, alright, for one week only."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---
I can't take complete credit for the plot now. Thank you muchly to wOLF, who gave me this review: "Do something really weird to him like making him eat magneto's food". It was very inspiring and now Magneto's a cook. And will they be feeding it to Spidey??? Well, that depends on how badly it turns out...
Oh, and I will do another Scott-Death chapter ASAP. I'm just enjoying this fic!!!
"No! Well, everything except that dress. That's dry-clean only."
"Oh, right." He starts picking up clothes and putting them in the basket.
"Are you wearing an apron?" Jean enquires.
"Yes," says Maggie, with dignity. And he is. It's red with a black trim.
"Fair enough," Jean replies, knowing what Charlie's worn in the past, which in comparison doesn't make Maggie's apron seem so bad.
"I'm going to go and put this washing on, and then I'll go make dinner for us all," Maggie announces.
"Can you cook?" Ororo asks nosily.
"Don't know, never tried before," Maggie says airily. "We'll soon find out!"
* * * * *
Maggie's cooking. Well, his idea of cooking. He found a recipe book Jean bought Ororo for Christmas one year as a joke, in Rogue's room when she was clearing out, and now he's got it open on a random page, which happens to be shepherd's pie. "Easy," he says with a grin. "There's no need to follow the recipe exactly, of course, as long as it LOOKS right it'll be okay. Now what do I need?"
Jean sticks her head around the door and gasps. "You've cleaned the kitchen!"
"How on earth was I supposed to cook in the mess you left it in??? I've cleaned the whole place out. And I chucked out the mysterious green thing in the back of the fridge."
"Ororo will KILL you!" Jean shrieks. "That was her experiment!"
"Experiment or not, it was extremely unhygienic."
"And majorly difficult to hide from Katherine," Jean adds. "She'd go mad if she found it."
"What did it used to be?" Maggie asks nervously.
"Pizza. I think." Jean pauses. "Or was it? After two or three years it became pretty unrecognisable."
"Alright. Well, I'm busy here, so if you don't mind..."
Jean leaves promptly, before Maggie can throw a spoon at her. She's just on her way into the sitting room to watch TV with Ororo when she hears a scream from upstairs.
"What, what, what, what, what?" Jean shrieks, bounding up the stairs two at a time and yanking open Katherine's door. "What happened?"
Katherine is sat at her computer, gasping for breath. "I was--I was checking our status on the popularity polls. And they've done this month's vote, and we've been pushed out of Spider-Man's place right to the bottom again!"
"At least we'll be twenty-ninth now." Jean shrugs optimistically.
"No!" Katherine yelps. "No, we're not, because they've unfrozen Captain America!"
"No," Jean says, disbelieving and shaking her head. "No, no, no, no, no. They can't have done."
"We need a team meeting," Katherine says gravely.
* * * * *
And so everyone's gathered in the changing rooms for a meeting. Kurt, Jean, Ororo and Katherine are sat on a bench, Logan and Maggie are sat on the floor, and Charlie has his wheelchair next to the bench. Rogue is perched on a chair near Kurt.
"We are in so much trouble," Katherine sighs. "We've kidnapped Peter, ruined my relationship with him, then I hit him round the face, and for what? Only to find ourselves back in the same position we were before!" She breaks down and sobs.
"Es ist okay," Kurt says, putting his arm around her. "Katherine, don't cry..." He hands her a tissue.
Logan sighs. "So what's happened?"
"They unfroze Captain America!" Jean yells. "After twenty years, they unfroze him!!! How could they??? Oh, my life is OVER!"
"Wait." Logan stares at her. "They unfroze Captain America?"
"Yes!" she squeals woefully.
And suddenly, Logan starts to remember something. Something from long ago. A war. A war, and planes, and a concentration camp. Him and someone else. Him and... oh, hell, it was Captain America, wasn't it???
Logan swears loudly and unpleasantly. "I used to work with the Captain!" he growls. "In world war two!"
"Groovy!" says Charlie.
"Yeah, and that's not all. Me and him, we were--" He stops. "Close friends," he finishes lamely.
"Oh my god, Logan's a pendulum!" Jean shrieks.
"I already knew that," Ororo says in a ha-ha-I-knew-that-and-you-didn't sort of way.
"In those days I wasn't a pendulum, I was fully and properly a--" He stops again.
"Logan's gay, Logan's gay," Rogue sings.
"You're a heshe!" Logan argues back.
"For goodness sake, we're ALL gay," Maggie says with a sigh. He's still wearing his apron, having been interrupted while cooking. "Well, except Katherine."
Everyone turns to look at her. "No, I'm sorry..." she looks embarrassed. "I've only ever been attracted to men." She looks at her hands.
"Wait!" Logan yells. "Ororo, how did you know?"
"I found your--I mean, I uhm, guessed."
"Ororo Munroe, I am going to rip off your hands and use them to gouge out your eyeballs so I can stuff them where the sun don't shine so you can watch me kick the hell outta you!"
"I'll let you watch me and Jean together if you don't murder me," Ororo says with a slight grin.
Logan growls. "Alright, you win. But don't ever read my magazines again."
"Can we get back to the point, please?" Katherine asks, after blowing her nose one last time. "What are we going to do about our situation?"
"Go out an' do the superhero slash vigilante bit an' kill bad guys?" Rogue suggests.
"You can tell she's new at this," Jean says. "That's too much work, duh!"
"Well, how do you do it?" Rogue snorts huffily.
"Sabotage, sabotage, and more sabotage!" Ororo says proudly. "Oh, and ignoring housework because you don't have time for it. And abusing your powers to sneak into the cinema for free."
Rogue shakes her head. "Ah thought we were here to stop corrupt villains."
"I got no idea who told you that, but they're up their eyeballs in delusion," Logan says sadly. "We're the corrupted ones. Just look at Ororo."
"Hey!" Ororo snaps. "That's not fair, Wolvie."
"I was just using you as an example. It was your idea, after all, to use Katherine' and Kurt's powers to sneak into seven films all in the same day."
Ororo thinks for a moment. "Yes, but you got Kurt and Katherine to go into the bank to get you a 'loan'!!!"
"Children, children," interrupts Maggie, "you could argue about who robbed a bank until the cows come home. But I have work to do, or no one'll be getting any dinner. Now, if you don't mind..." And with a swish of his apron he turns and heads up the stairs back to the kitchen.
"So is that all you do?" Rogue asks. "Ah mean, do you just go round New York committing horrendously illegal crimes?"
"Pretty much," Kurt says. "Although we do go on missions occasionally. Emergency doughnut runs and so on."
"An' you wonder why you're not popular?" Rogue cries. "You need to be keeping the law, not breaking it! Working hard on your own work, not sabotaging others!"
All the remaining X-Men look at each other. "Why on earth didn't I think of that?" Charlie questions.
"Because it's stupid, duh," Ororo says lazily.
"No, I think it could really work," Jean says surprising everyone, especially herself. Katherine nods in agreement. "I say we try being proper superheroes for a week! Who's in?"
Kurt and Logan just look at each other. Katherine and Jean raise their hands, and after a moment's hesitation, so does Ororo. Rogue mumbles, "it was mah plan!" and then raises her own hand. Charlie shakes his head.
"Come on, Charlie! It's only for a week!" Jean insists.
"It'll be so much WORK!" Charlie howls. "Alright, alright, for one week only."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---
I can't take complete credit for the plot now. Thank you muchly to wOLF, who gave me this review: "Do something really weird to him like making him eat magneto's food". It was very inspiring and now Magneto's a cook. And will they be feeding it to Spidey??? Well, that depends on how badly it turns out...
Oh, and I will do another Scott-Death chapter ASAP. I'm just enjoying this fic!!!