Lia-Ok faithful readers, I think I'm gonna do a chapter for each big bend in the river. This one- Intro, INSIGNIFICANT!!!!!!!!
(Videotape flickers on)

Jamie's grinning face appears. Hi, and welcome to the X-MEN GAULEY RIVER ADVENTURES!!!!! Her's Boat 1, with Jamie #2, Scott, Jean, Ray, Roberto, Amara, aaaaaaaaand...TODD!
(boat 1 crew walks glumly onscreen)
Boat 2, with Jamie #3, Pietro, Evan, Kitty, Lance, Kurt, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand...PIOTR!
(boat 2 crew walks glumly onscreen)
Boat 3, with Jamie #4, Bobby, Jubes, Sam, Rahne, Tabby, aaaaaaaaaaaaand...
FRED!
(boat 3 crew walks glumly onscreen)
Boat 4, with Jamie #5, Rogue, Remy, Wanda, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand...JOHN!
John poked him in the shoulder, causing 5 more Jamies to appear out of nowhere. Ya forgot Kirby, mate.
Oh, Kirby too. Whatever.
Each Jamie pulled a raft into the water and ushered their teammates on. Jamie #1 just stood there.
First up...INSIGNIFICANT!!!!!
Boat 1
Jean and Scott are making out, Ray and Roberto are yelling, Todd is setting up a mini-Wanda shrine, and Amara is acting snooty and telling people how she is a princess and she shouldn't be going on this stupid trip anyway. Jamie is the only one actually rowing. The rest seem to be ignoring the fact that they are crashing through white water.

Boat 2
Pietro and Evan are arguing about who's better. They finally get to the Yo' Mamma' stage.
Well, yo' Daddy uh, uh, uh, wears a bucket on his head!

Kurt and Piotr are talking in low voices. They appear to agree on something and look evilly at Lance. Lance gulps. Kitty is talking so she doesn't notice that Piotr an Kurt have just thrown Lance off the boat. Lance is rushed down the waves for ages and ages, screaming like a girl all the way. Jamie rolls his eyes.

Boat 3
Bobby and Jubilee are flirting. Sam and Rahne are flirting. Tabitha is blowing up every rock they pass. Fred is eating. Jamie is trying to keep the boat from tipping over because of Fred.

Boat 4
Pyro is happily playing with his Kirby doll. Remy is playing poker with Rogue. Jamie is rowing, unaware that Wanda is using her powers to make sure the boat doesn't crash into anything. Suddenly, Wanda breaks her concentration and the boat spins around really fast, flips over, and starts going backwards. In the havoc, Kirby falls out.
Pyro leans over the side in horror. NOOOOOOO!!!! KIRBY!!!!!!!
It's a DOLL, mon ami. Leave it, Remy groans.
Yeah Johnny, Rogue agreed. Yah can get another one.
Pyro begins to cry. But that was a SPECIAL Kirby, mates! he sobs.
Wanda rolls her eyes. She uses her powers to move the water and snatch up a thoroughly soaked Kirby. Pyro immediately stops crying and hugs her.
THANK YOU, WANDA!!!! I love you!!!
Wanda sneers. Get. Off. Me. You. Crazy. Aussie.
Pyro ignores her. Wanda sighs and hex blasts him off her. Pyro screams. Jamie laughs. Daxter is better than Kirby anyhow.
Pyro narrows his eyes and goes into battle mode. DON'T DISS KIRBY!!! He takes out a lighter and makes a fire Kirby to beat up Jamie.
Right when Jamie is about to die, a mysterious figure appears. Whoever it is holds a blade at Pyro's throat. Listen. If Jamie dies, then my page dies. If my page dies, I get very pissed off. When I get very pissed off, you'll die. Comprend?
Pyro gulps and nods.
The girl removes her blade from his neck, grins, and disappears. (If anyone was wondering who that was, I'll tell them later.)

THAT'S IT!!!!!! Next up- LOST PADDLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!