No Longer Who I Was
Any opinions or criticisms, feel free to tell me.
Email me at NotCreativeByFar@msn.com
Chapter 2.
He felt odd and queasy; that came when he had awoken in the Express compartment. It was subsiding considerably, now that he was on one of the carriages pulled by the thestral.
None of the students wanted to get into the carriage with him. He couldn't blame them. He wouldn't have wanted to sit with a strange man, either. Alone he could enjoy the view of the grounds, without the usual uncomfortable stares and silence.
For a man who hadn't smiled in months, Remus was now finding it easy. Memories were flashing through his head with every new view from his carriage. The gates that opened to the castle; himself, Sirius, Peter, and James had wandered around and outside of them thousands of times. The lake, with the squid. James used to threaten to levitate Peter above the squid and drop him on it's head... It was a great feeling, being back in his old school. Remus had to remind himself that it wasn't like when he was a student.
As he stepped out of his carriage, Remus noticed James and Lily's son again. He was with another boy, with sleek white blond hair, and it appeared they were talking but as Remus walked up towards the steps, to go into the castle, he saw it wasn't a friendly affair.
He broke up their school boy squabble, remembering what good it would have done back in his days. A lot of fights wouldn't have taken place had a teacher intervened.
Upon entering the entrance hall, Remus was unexpectedly greeted by Professor McGonagall.
"Lupin, you've arrived!" she said, stating the obvious. She put her hands on her hips and gave him her characteristic stern look.
"Yes, Professor I have," Remus said. "It's great to be back."
"I hope you had a good trip, despite the circumstances with Potter and the Dementors," McGonagall said. "Thank you for sending ahead that owl, I was just going to find Potter and bring him to Poppy. Make sure he's all right."
"He looks fine now. Just a bit shaken," Remus concluded. "Well, I shall be getting upstairs, I suppose."
"Of course. I'll see you there in a while." She moved to go down the steps that led outside then doubled back. "One more thing. You no longer have to call me Professor."
Remus nodded, feeling foolish. He traveled to the Great Hall with recovered remembrance. The excited chatter of students grew louder, so Remus hurried into the Great Hall before they arrived.
The house tables were where they always were and immaculately clean. His eyes took in the staff table: every figre watching him, as he made his way towards them.
It was uncomfortable. Especially knowing, courtesy of Dumbledore, that there were objections from some of the teachers about his being hired. With quiet hesitation, Remus kept his gaze on the Headmaster. He was ten feet in front of him, when Dumbledore spoke.
"Remus!" Dumbledore exclaimed, rising from his chair. "How nice it is to see you again! Do come and sit down, the students are about to come in, I see."
Dumbledore indicated an empty chair that was situated between his former History of Magic professor, Binns, and the Charms professor, Flitwick. And no sooner had he sat down, did the returning students enter and slowly file to their tables.
Binns, gave a curt nod acknowledging Remus and abruptly turned his head to speak with a teacher, next to him that Remus didn't recognize.
"Remus Lupin. I believe I haven't seen you in over twenty years," squeaked Flitwick, from Remus' right, with a pleased look on his face.
"Twenty-two years," Remus stated smiling. "To be exact."
"And if I remember correctly, you were always exact. One of my best students. You and those friends of yours, James and Lily, Peter and Sirius..." He stopped himself.
Silence. Flitwick looked embarrassed.
"Do excuse me, Minerva had other business so I have to conduct the sorting." And with that, Flitwick hopped down from the chair and disappeared through a door, only to return with the stool and sorting hat. He pulled out the parchment with the students names on it, from his robe. He waited only a second before the first years arrived escorted by Professor Sinistra.
And so it began... "Ackron, Judith!"
"Hufflepuff!" the hat shouted.
The sorting was exciting for the first years, but Remus was sure the novelty had ran out for the staff. It had always been difficult for him to get into the process. And now...he wasn't familiar with anyone. During his school years, it was always hard to pay attention with Sirius and James cracking jokes.
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"Look at that girl!" James said once. "She's almost as fat as Peter."
Peter laughed, but Remus knew he was embarrassed. His tomato red cheeks gave him away. Sirius snickered.
"Ha ha, yeah. Only, we can hope she takes a leaf out of, that fifth years' book, and makes a potion to lose all that lard. Poor porky... Oh no..." Sirius made a disgusted face. 'Porky' was sorted to Gryffindor. "Know what that means, James?"
"Sure do, mate," James responded. In a voice of mock revulsion he said, "We'll have to slick her arse up with Sleekeasy Hair potion to get her through the portrait hole."
Both lost all composure, from laughing. That earned them uneasy glances from fellow students.
"Actually man," Sirius started, beginning to get teary-eyed, "I was gonna suggest that beast, as a new girlfriend prospect for you." James made to hit Sirius in the stomach but Sirius blocked him and said, "What?! Your idea was better, anyway!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Zeaton, Aiden!"
Remus was snapped back to reality. The sorting nearly complete. His memory stored in the back of his mind.
When the last burst of applause ended for the final student, Remus noticed Harry and another girl enter the Great Hall with Professor McGonagall.
Harry did look so much like James. Remus wondered if Harry knew just how similar he was to his father. Uncanny, really. Remus hoped that he wouldn't refer to Harry as James.
Dumbledore began to speak, catching everyone's attention. Remus thought Dumbledore's speech on the dementors was informative. He hadn't been sure why the Headmaster would want dementors near the castle, in the first place. The Ministry of Magic had ordered them there.
'To protect against Sirius. Figures though,' Remus thought. 'The Ministry always meddles where they don't belong.'
Remus didn't believe that even Sirius, knowing what he did thirteen years ago, would dare come to Hogwarts. Unless he was completely off his rocker. Sirius used to say, "Any wizard who tries to screw with Dumbledore deserves to die a fool's death..."
"First, Professor Lupin, who has kindly consented to fill the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher." Dumbledore said, catching Remus in another daydream.
There wasn't much applause, unsurprisingly. He didn't exactly look like one of Britain's 'Miss Witch' beauty contest winners. Students probably thought him to be some disoriented homeless man, in the place of the real professor Lupin. But he still managed a small vague smile.
The feast was wonderful. Remus greedily ate from all of the plates surrounding him. He couldn't help flushing when he caught Binns staring at him whilst he ate. The potatoes and ham and other mounds of vegetables and meats showed him just how starved he had been.
Feeling as full as he did in years, Remus was glad when Dumbledore dismissed the students to bed. When the last student exited, Dumbledore stood up to speak to the staff.
"A lovely feast wasn't it?" He asked looking around. The staff muttered replies of 'yes' and 'very lovely indeed.' "One last notice before we retire for the night. Our first staff meeting will be held tomorrow at eight o'clock in the staff room. I expect to see you all there. Goodnight."
"Remus!" Dumbledore's voice called.
"Yes, Headmaster?" Remus asked moving towards the white haired man.
"Did Minerva tell you where you'll be staying, yet?" he asked smiling thoughtfully.
"No, I was just going to ask..."
"Good!" Dumbledore said enthusiastically. "Severus! Come here!"
Snape, who had been talking with Sinistra, reluctantly obeyed. Pure hatred shone on his face; a look that wanted Remus screaming and convulsing in agony, on the floor.
"Remus hasn't been to his rooms and I thought that since yours are just around the corner, you could show him the way."
Snape's eyes closed as he mumbled inaudibly under his breath; cursing Dumbledore for being a meddling old man. His black eyes flicked open seconds later but Snape said nothing.
"I'll take that as a yes! It'll be good for two old classmates to become reacquainted. Hagrid!" Dumbledore spotted the half giant. "Just the one I wanted to see!" And he shuffled away leaving the two men alone.
Snape strode forward, not acknowledging Remus, until he realized Remus wasn't following. "Well," Snape snapped, suddenly wheeling around. "Are you coming or have you decided to spend your night in the forest with the rest of your kind, werewolf?"
"No, I was thinking of trying something new. Sleeping in a bed, you know?" Remus said sarcastically, then added, "As opposed to a coffin like you do, vampire."
Snape's pale face twitched, with anger.
"What did you say to me?" Snape asked, advancing closer. His voice maliciously low.
"It's getting late, is it not? I believe," Dumbledore interrupted, walking back over to them. "I asked you to show Remus his room, Severus."
The remaining staff, McGonagall, Hagrid, Hooch and Binns, were all pretending not to watch, but they had made a point to discontinue conversation as to listen to the three men.
"Just having a little chat, Headmaster," Snape said, looking at the floor. Remus suppressed a small smile, at Snape using the word *chat*.
"Goodnight then. Remus. Severus." He nodded to both of them and Snape took it as his cue to leave, with Remus following close behind.
Snape led Remus back down to the entrance hall ,where they crossed it to go down a set of barely visible steps. The steps winded and as soon as they reached the bottom, a sickening smell of decay hit Remus' nose. The stench made him cough as an effect. Snape, obviously used to it, kept advancing down the poorly lit hallway. Remus assumed this was some back way to the main dungeons. He'd never been here.
Snape stopped outside a dingy, scratched door, which Remus hoped wasn't his room.
"This is your room,"Snape confirmed. "Nothing but the best for *you* I see," he said, sarcasticly. "I'd advise you to ward the room. Students have a habit of wandering into unknown corridors and rooms. Sleep tight werewolf." Snape added viciously.
"And you also," Remus responded bowing slightly. "I can only hope my bed is as comfortable as your coffin."
With Snape livid, Remus hurried inside the door and bolted it shut with a quick wave of his wand. When he turned around to inspect the room, he was pleasantly surprised. It wasn't what he expected from the outside appearance of the hallway.
A fire was slowly fading, casting a warming glow around the room. Torches aligned the wall, and Remus noticed his briefcase had been placed on a small table that was surrounded by three cushiony arm chairs. He walked over and ran his fingers along the chairs, feeling the velvet material slide under his touch. Remus spotted a closed door and opened it to discover his sleeping quarters. A large wrought iron bed sat in the far corner and there was an enchanted window next to it, which took on an exotic view of nighttime in some place where it was heavily snowing.
On his bedside table laid a medium sized wrapped package, in golden paper. His name written on a red ribbon, that tied the package together. Remus tugged on the ribbon and the paper disappeared to reveal a tacky looking statue; it was of a young looking wizard holding a frothy mug with an obnoxious toothy smile on his face. Remus set the statue down. To his surprise, the statue began to move. It stumbled and swayed around the small square tables' surface. Drops of his drink spilled out of the mug.
Remus noticed a piece of paper stuck to the statue's back and plucked it off; inadvertently causing the statue to fall to the ground and lay, passed out.
Ignoring this Remus read the note;
~Welcome back! Hope you enjoy your rooms and this little statue! It's a pleasure to have you on staff.
Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster
Minerva McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress~
Remus couldn't help but smile. It was definitely a gift Albus would give.
He picked up the figure from the floor, cupped it in his hands, and watched it stir in it's groggy state before coming to. It took a sip from it's mug and hopped back onto the table.
Remus decided to get to bed. He took off and carelessly threw his old robe to the floor. Stripping to his underwear, Remus peeled back the covers. Unconsciously rewinding the day in his mind. He began to fall asleep feeling repentant about his comments to Snape. The minute he noticed his former classmate at the staff table, Remus hoped they could be civil and act as adults. Of course he found it hard to be civil when Snape called him 'werewolf.' What better way to retaliate than call him a vampire? After all, everyone always suspected him to be one.
"Especially Sirius..." came his voice out of the darkness.
"Sirius? That murderer? Sirius Black?"
Figured. Dumbledore not only gave him a drunken statue. But it kept up on the news, as well.
~*~
Thanks to IceWing, for the Beta work.
If the story feels too slow paced for any of you, please tell me, because I can't seem to decide whether it is or isn't.
Peace and stay positive.
Any opinions or criticisms, feel free to tell me.
Email me at NotCreativeByFar@msn.com
Chapter 2.
He felt odd and queasy; that came when he had awoken in the Express compartment. It was subsiding considerably, now that he was on one of the carriages pulled by the thestral.
None of the students wanted to get into the carriage with him. He couldn't blame them. He wouldn't have wanted to sit with a strange man, either. Alone he could enjoy the view of the grounds, without the usual uncomfortable stares and silence.
For a man who hadn't smiled in months, Remus was now finding it easy. Memories were flashing through his head with every new view from his carriage. The gates that opened to the castle; himself, Sirius, Peter, and James had wandered around and outside of them thousands of times. The lake, with the squid. James used to threaten to levitate Peter above the squid and drop him on it's head... It was a great feeling, being back in his old school. Remus had to remind himself that it wasn't like when he was a student.
As he stepped out of his carriage, Remus noticed James and Lily's son again. He was with another boy, with sleek white blond hair, and it appeared they were talking but as Remus walked up towards the steps, to go into the castle, he saw it wasn't a friendly affair.
He broke up their school boy squabble, remembering what good it would have done back in his days. A lot of fights wouldn't have taken place had a teacher intervened.
Upon entering the entrance hall, Remus was unexpectedly greeted by Professor McGonagall.
"Lupin, you've arrived!" she said, stating the obvious. She put her hands on her hips and gave him her characteristic stern look.
"Yes, Professor I have," Remus said. "It's great to be back."
"I hope you had a good trip, despite the circumstances with Potter and the Dementors," McGonagall said. "Thank you for sending ahead that owl, I was just going to find Potter and bring him to Poppy. Make sure he's all right."
"He looks fine now. Just a bit shaken," Remus concluded. "Well, I shall be getting upstairs, I suppose."
"Of course. I'll see you there in a while." She moved to go down the steps that led outside then doubled back. "One more thing. You no longer have to call me Professor."
Remus nodded, feeling foolish. He traveled to the Great Hall with recovered remembrance. The excited chatter of students grew louder, so Remus hurried into the Great Hall before they arrived.
The house tables were where they always were and immaculately clean. His eyes took in the staff table: every figre watching him, as he made his way towards them.
It was uncomfortable. Especially knowing, courtesy of Dumbledore, that there were objections from some of the teachers about his being hired. With quiet hesitation, Remus kept his gaze on the Headmaster. He was ten feet in front of him, when Dumbledore spoke.
"Remus!" Dumbledore exclaimed, rising from his chair. "How nice it is to see you again! Do come and sit down, the students are about to come in, I see."
Dumbledore indicated an empty chair that was situated between his former History of Magic professor, Binns, and the Charms professor, Flitwick. And no sooner had he sat down, did the returning students enter and slowly file to their tables.
Binns, gave a curt nod acknowledging Remus and abruptly turned his head to speak with a teacher, next to him that Remus didn't recognize.
"Remus Lupin. I believe I haven't seen you in over twenty years," squeaked Flitwick, from Remus' right, with a pleased look on his face.
"Twenty-two years," Remus stated smiling. "To be exact."
"And if I remember correctly, you were always exact. One of my best students. You and those friends of yours, James and Lily, Peter and Sirius..." He stopped himself.
Silence. Flitwick looked embarrassed.
"Do excuse me, Minerva had other business so I have to conduct the sorting." And with that, Flitwick hopped down from the chair and disappeared through a door, only to return with the stool and sorting hat. He pulled out the parchment with the students names on it, from his robe. He waited only a second before the first years arrived escorted by Professor Sinistra.
And so it began... "Ackron, Judith!"
"Hufflepuff!" the hat shouted.
The sorting was exciting for the first years, but Remus was sure the novelty had ran out for the staff. It had always been difficult for him to get into the process. And now...he wasn't familiar with anyone. During his school years, it was always hard to pay attention with Sirius and James cracking jokes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Look at that girl!" James said once. "She's almost as fat as Peter."
Peter laughed, but Remus knew he was embarrassed. His tomato red cheeks gave him away. Sirius snickered.
"Ha ha, yeah. Only, we can hope she takes a leaf out of, that fifth years' book, and makes a potion to lose all that lard. Poor porky... Oh no..." Sirius made a disgusted face. 'Porky' was sorted to Gryffindor. "Know what that means, James?"
"Sure do, mate," James responded. In a voice of mock revulsion he said, "We'll have to slick her arse up with Sleekeasy Hair potion to get her through the portrait hole."
Both lost all composure, from laughing. That earned them uneasy glances from fellow students.
"Actually man," Sirius started, beginning to get teary-eyed, "I was gonna suggest that beast, as a new girlfriend prospect for you." James made to hit Sirius in the stomach but Sirius blocked him and said, "What?! Your idea was better, anyway!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Zeaton, Aiden!"
Remus was snapped back to reality. The sorting nearly complete. His memory stored in the back of his mind.
When the last burst of applause ended for the final student, Remus noticed Harry and another girl enter the Great Hall with Professor McGonagall.
Harry did look so much like James. Remus wondered if Harry knew just how similar he was to his father. Uncanny, really. Remus hoped that he wouldn't refer to Harry as James.
Dumbledore began to speak, catching everyone's attention. Remus thought Dumbledore's speech on the dementors was informative. He hadn't been sure why the Headmaster would want dementors near the castle, in the first place. The Ministry of Magic had ordered them there.
'To protect against Sirius. Figures though,' Remus thought. 'The Ministry always meddles where they don't belong.'
Remus didn't believe that even Sirius, knowing what he did thirteen years ago, would dare come to Hogwarts. Unless he was completely off his rocker. Sirius used to say, "Any wizard who tries to screw with Dumbledore deserves to die a fool's death..."
"First, Professor Lupin, who has kindly consented to fill the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher." Dumbledore said, catching Remus in another daydream.
There wasn't much applause, unsurprisingly. He didn't exactly look like one of Britain's 'Miss Witch' beauty contest winners. Students probably thought him to be some disoriented homeless man, in the place of the real professor Lupin. But he still managed a small vague smile.
The feast was wonderful. Remus greedily ate from all of the plates surrounding him. He couldn't help flushing when he caught Binns staring at him whilst he ate. The potatoes and ham and other mounds of vegetables and meats showed him just how starved he had been.
Feeling as full as he did in years, Remus was glad when Dumbledore dismissed the students to bed. When the last student exited, Dumbledore stood up to speak to the staff.
"A lovely feast wasn't it?" He asked looking around. The staff muttered replies of 'yes' and 'very lovely indeed.' "One last notice before we retire for the night. Our first staff meeting will be held tomorrow at eight o'clock in the staff room. I expect to see you all there. Goodnight."
"Remus!" Dumbledore's voice called.
"Yes, Headmaster?" Remus asked moving towards the white haired man.
"Did Minerva tell you where you'll be staying, yet?" he asked smiling thoughtfully.
"No, I was just going to ask..."
"Good!" Dumbledore said enthusiastically. "Severus! Come here!"
Snape, who had been talking with Sinistra, reluctantly obeyed. Pure hatred shone on his face; a look that wanted Remus screaming and convulsing in agony, on the floor.
"Remus hasn't been to his rooms and I thought that since yours are just around the corner, you could show him the way."
Snape's eyes closed as he mumbled inaudibly under his breath; cursing Dumbledore for being a meddling old man. His black eyes flicked open seconds later but Snape said nothing.
"I'll take that as a yes! It'll be good for two old classmates to become reacquainted. Hagrid!" Dumbledore spotted the half giant. "Just the one I wanted to see!" And he shuffled away leaving the two men alone.
Snape strode forward, not acknowledging Remus, until he realized Remus wasn't following. "Well," Snape snapped, suddenly wheeling around. "Are you coming or have you decided to spend your night in the forest with the rest of your kind, werewolf?"
"No, I was thinking of trying something new. Sleeping in a bed, you know?" Remus said sarcastically, then added, "As opposed to a coffin like you do, vampire."
Snape's pale face twitched, with anger.
"What did you say to me?" Snape asked, advancing closer. His voice maliciously low.
"It's getting late, is it not? I believe," Dumbledore interrupted, walking back over to them. "I asked you to show Remus his room, Severus."
The remaining staff, McGonagall, Hagrid, Hooch and Binns, were all pretending not to watch, but they had made a point to discontinue conversation as to listen to the three men.
"Just having a little chat, Headmaster," Snape said, looking at the floor. Remus suppressed a small smile, at Snape using the word *chat*.
"Goodnight then. Remus. Severus." He nodded to both of them and Snape took it as his cue to leave, with Remus following close behind.
Snape led Remus back down to the entrance hall ,where they crossed it to go down a set of barely visible steps. The steps winded and as soon as they reached the bottom, a sickening smell of decay hit Remus' nose. The stench made him cough as an effect. Snape, obviously used to it, kept advancing down the poorly lit hallway. Remus assumed this was some back way to the main dungeons. He'd never been here.
Snape stopped outside a dingy, scratched door, which Remus hoped wasn't his room.
"This is your room,"Snape confirmed. "Nothing but the best for *you* I see," he said, sarcasticly. "I'd advise you to ward the room. Students have a habit of wandering into unknown corridors and rooms. Sleep tight werewolf." Snape added viciously.
"And you also," Remus responded bowing slightly. "I can only hope my bed is as comfortable as your coffin."
With Snape livid, Remus hurried inside the door and bolted it shut with a quick wave of his wand. When he turned around to inspect the room, he was pleasantly surprised. It wasn't what he expected from the outside appearance of the hallway.
A fire was slowly fading, casting a warming glow around the room. Torches aligned the wall, and Remus noticed his briefcase had been placed on a small table that was surrounded by three cushiony arm chairs. He walked over and ran his fingers along the chairs, feeling the velvet material slide under his touch. Remus spotted a closed door and opened it to discover his sleeping quarters. A large wrought iron bed sat in the far corner and there was an enchanted window next to it, which took on an exotic view of nighttime in some place where it was heavily snowing.
On his bedside table laid a medium sized wrapped package, in golden paper. His name written on a red ribbon, that tied the package together. Remus tugged on the ribbon and the paper disappeared to reveal a tacky looking statue; it was of a young looking wizard holding a frothy mug with an obnoxious toothy smile on his face. Remus set the statue down. To his surprise, the statue began to move. It stumbled and swayed around the small square tables' surface. Drops of his drink spilled out of the mug.
Remus noticed a piece of paper stuck to the statue's back and plucked it off; inadvertently causing the statue to fall to the ground and lay, passed out.
Ignoring this Remus read the note;
~Welcome back! Hope you enjoy your rooms and this little statue! It's a pleasure to have you on staff.
Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster
Minerva McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress~
Remus couldn't help but smile. It was definitely a gift Albus would give.
He picked up the figure from the floor, cupped it in his hands, and watched it stir in it's groggy state before coming to. It took a sip from it's mug and hopped back onto the table.
Remus decided to get to bed. He took off and carelessly threw his old robe to the floor. Stripping to his underwear, Remus peeled back the covers. Unconsciously rewinding the day in his mind. He began to fall asleep feeling repentant about his comments to Snape. The minute he noticed his former classmate at the staff table, Remus hoped they could be civil and act as adults. Of course he found it hard to be civil when Snape called him 'werewolf.' What better way to retaliate than call him a vampire? After all, everyone always suspected him to be one.
"Especially Sirius..." came his voice out of the darkness.
"Sirius? That murderer? Sirius Black?"
Figured. Dumbledore not only gave him a drunken statue. But it kept up on the news, as well.
~*~
Thanks to IceWing, for the Beta work.
If the story feels too slow paced for any of you, please tell me, because I can't seem to decide whether it is or isn't.
Peace and stay positive.