Well, hello yet again!
Okay, okay, I KNOW I have too many fics out right now anyway, but seeing as how three of them are finished and one is fully written, I think I'm allowed to write a one-shot.
This is actually a pretty standard- if rare- kind of fic: the kind that shows Pegasus in a good and/or sympathetic way. I don't know why it took me this long to think of writing one of these, but I finally got around to it. If you absolutely hate Pegasus, please read this. It's my goal to make your kind of people think about him in a better way, maybe not hate him unconditionally anymore (no matter how unrealistic this goal is)
Just a warning, this is gonna be pretty deep. It's a one-shot, so it's short, but I'm going to make this very powerful. Rating is for the situations more than anything else. No cursing or violence.
Special thanks to B/k, jeti and RETD for proofing this for me. You guys really helped me a lot! ^^
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All for You
~ What have I done? ~ He thought, pacing around the tower. The question ran through his mind over and over again, until there was no room for any other thought. The question consumed him; he was unable to think of anything else.
~ What have I done? ~
He watched from his tower as Seto and Mokuba Kaiba were tearfully reunited. He saw in the younger boy's eyes such an intense relief that it almost brought tears to his only remaining good eye. He gripped the windowsill to stop his hands from shaking. That one thought kept swirling around in his head, refusing to leave him alone, refusing to let him rest.
~ What have I done? ~
He didn't have time to stop and ponder this. More questions came, each worse than the last. Before long, there was no room for any other thoughts in his mind.
~ What came over me? How could I have done this? How could I have said it was for her? What would she think of me now? ~
~ How can I live with myself? ~
He had to sit down before his legs gave out under him from his last thought. All this time, he'd been thinking of the future. But he never thought of this. He'd never thought about what he was doing. The ends had always justified the means- at least in his mind. Failure wasn't even an option. After all, most of his plan involved dueling, and how would anyone ever beat the very creator of Duel Monsters? But somehow, that was exactly what happened. And now he sat there questioning himself, questioning the goals he'd worked so hard to reach.
He turned to her portrait, having no one else to talk to. He was alone in the world, alone with his memories.
"Well what am I supposed to do now!?" He cried out. Sinking to his knees, he let his long hair cover his face, ashamed to let her see him as what he'd become, what he'd been reduced to without her. "I'm so sorry Cecilia. I thought I'd failed you when I was defeated; when I lost my one chance to bring you back to me. Now I see. I failed you long before now." A single tear rolled from his eye. At least before, he'd had hope with him; hope that by some miracle, she would be returned to him. Now even that tiny shred of hope, the one ray of light in a dark room, even that was gone. There was nothing left for him.
If anyone heard him yelling, crying, desperately searching for a way out of the hole he'd dug, they had the sense to leave him alone. The only ones left in the castle were the servants, and they'd all seen the master like this before. They knew better than to interfere. They'd seen what happened to the poor souls who did.
All his searches were in vain. There was no way out. He'd failed her more than he could ever have thought. This was what he'd become: a heartless, cold murderer. He knew she'd never have wanted him to be this way, no matter what the reason was. This was his fate. He'd live in shame, never to see her again, only to dwell on memories of the past.
It wouldn't be long until Yugi's story got to the press, he was sure. There was only a matter of time until Yugi's side of the story was out, and his would not be. No one would take pity on such a man as the boy would describe. Even the most loyal of fans, of game players, of anyone, none of them would waste a second thought on him anymore. The only one who might still listen to him was young Duke Devlin, a true fan and now a business partner. But no, he realized, Duke lived in Domino too. Far too close to Yugi. He'd hear the stories and give up on him, just as everyone else would. There was no more hope for him, and worse, there was no way out.
Well, in truth, there was always one way out. A last resort. Certainly never thought of as peaceful, but the one path he could see.
He stood again on shaking legs and walked to a small cabinet in his deck. Fishing a silver key from his pocket, he opened it. Why he kept a secret compartment in a private room was a mystery to him. In truth, it was to keep himself from remembering this choice, to stop it from tempting him. But now, with everything gone, all hope ripped from his heart, no one left for him in this world, there was no way to go on, and no other way out.
From his desk, he took out a small dagger. Anyone who could have seen it would have noticed something wonderful about it. For some it would be the beautifully polished blade, never yet used. For others, the perfect balance of the weapon, the handle just strong enough to support the blade and still light enough for quick, precise movements. For still others, the jewel-encrusted hilt would be the first thing to call attention to itself.
Right then for him, the most beautiful thing was the tip, perfectly sharpened to the point; a gentle friend in his last hour of need. This was the last resort, the final exit, the only inviting path left for him. Death was an escape from the nightmare his life was turning into before his eyes. And who knew, it may well be the way to find her again. He stood almost perfectly still with the knife in his hand, thinking about nothing in particular, feeling the balance of the blade and hilt, moving his thoughts away from what he was about to do. Then finally, with an almost careless movement, he brought the tip of the blade close to his chest . . .
Perhaps some would say he never really meant to do it, and that was why he stopped. Others may think he re-thought his decision just in time. That is wrong. He fully meant to kill himself, to end the pain awaiting him before it even began, but that wasn't what happened.
It wasn't what she wanted.
Just before the act was done, he heard her voice calling to him. Softly, to be sure, but it was her. He'd know her voice anywhere.
"No, please, don't! Don't die yet!"
He may well have been hallucinating for one reason or another with all the stress he was under. This he knew, and he didn't particularly care.
"Cecilia! Where are you?" he cried. The knife slipped out of his hand and clattered to the floor as he ran to her portrait.
"Maximillian, you mustn't die yet." Her voice echoed around him eerily, as though it were thought rather than spoken word. He didn't stop to consider that it may have been.
"Darling, I'm coming to you! Why? I can go on without you for only so long!" he was shivering slightly; fully convinced he was talking to her directly. Her voice echoed the words.
"You mustn't die yet"
"WHY!?" he yelled. "Please, let me be at peace, I can take this world no more!" The tears welled up in his eye. He was begging now. He was so sure that she'd never just leave him like this. He knew he never would have.
Her reply shocked him more than anything. "Maximillian, you do not deserve the punishment of death . . ." He looked up at her painting again. Was he really forgiven so easily? "There are things far worse than death." His eyes widened and already fast breathing quickened. His body knew something was very wrong, even if his mind didn't.
He didn't understand. He'd done so much for her. There was nothing more he could do but die. Deprived so suddenly of the only hope and joy in his life, he didn't want to live any longer. There was just too much pain in life.
"Look at yourself," she said, her voice growing ever louder. "Look what you are, what you've become! You do not deserve the peace of death!" There wasn't anything he could do but stare at her, eyes filled with pain, body still with shock. "You will die when you were meant to and not one moment before! Such is your punishment! For some, death is the ultimate price to pay; the ultimate penalty. We cannot give it to one like you, one who not only wishes for it but tries to take it himself! Your actions have earned you your worst penalty: YOU MUST LIVE!"
"NO!" he fell to his knees again, crying for real now. "How can you do this!? Please, please let me die! Let me be with you once more! Please, I beg you! Anything but life!"
By this point all possibility of her being an illusion had left his mind. That being said, if she were truly not real, she was wonderful at acting it.
Finally, she appeared in front of him. Her tone softened. Her eyes, though smiling, were filled with tears, the same way his were. She spoke softly again.
"Please, please understand. It is not that I don't care. You must atone for what you have done. When the time is right, then you will be permitted to join me. But it is not just for your punishment." She reached a ghostly hand to his cheek. He would have sworn that he felt her delicate fingers wiping away his tears. "I am no longer of this world, though I ache to be once more. Let me live through you. As long as you live, I will be with you, deep in your heart." She began to float away from him, slowly. He took the hand she still extended to him in his own. "Live for me."
She disappeared, like mist on a sunny morning. Her words still echoed around him. He slowly closed his hand on empty air. Still staring at her picture, he knew he had no choice. After all he'd done, there was no way he could betray her wishes to save himself. He bowed his head and spoke once more.
"I understand. I will not like this. There is no life for me here anymore; every day will be meaningless. But I cannot end it. I have not been allowed peace and happiness. But as long as I still live, you must remember. I've been through much already. In little time, I will be through much more. This life is nothing to me without you. But still I shall live. And until this nightmare finally comes to an end, I need you to remember.
"I did it all for you, my love."
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CPegasus: *starts crying like a little baby*
Sam: *rolls eyes* for pity's sake, you're the one who wrote the thing!
CPegasus: I know . . . *sniff* but . . . *sniff sniff* IT'S SO SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sam: -_- oh please.
CPegasus: *stops crying eventually* well, anyway, I wanted to make a few comments on this story now. If you're in a hurry, by all means leave now. The fic's over. This is just the Author's Note.
For one thing, I want to say that this was probably the hardest thing for me to write yet. The actual content came pretty easily, I love dealing with deep and dramatic situations, but it was so hard for me to do that to Pegasus.
D'you know this wasn't the original ending? Or well, more accurately, the only ending I had?
Here's the deal (I'm sharing this with you because I find it interesting to me). What you just read was pretty much what I had all along. But about a day and a half before I wrote the ending, I started doubting myself. My goal, as I said, was to get through to people who maybe don't like him too much. I started wondering if maybe having him actually commit suicide would shock people enough for me to get my message across. But I really, really didn't want to kill him, and I thought it would be sadder for him if he had to keep living with himself after all that. So to decide, I asked a bunch of my friends whether they thought the ending to West Side Story or Romeo and Juliet was sadder (for those of you who don't know, in R&J, both lovers died, while in WSS, Maria is left to live without Tony). By unanimous vote, they said WSS. And that settled it for me. Still, I was obsessing for a whole day (in school, I was thinking about this while I was running in gym and again when I was supposed to be learning Geometry) about whether I should- not to mention if I could- kill him. So that's the story behind that.
Like I said, this is a one-shot, so don't ask for a sequel or anything, not that I'd get a plot for one anyway.
Thanks for reading all my babble.
Please, if you review, send me an E-mail address or a signed review. Since I won't be continuing this, I'll want to contact you through e-mail or instant messenger. Flames will be accepted, but you better have a damn good reason to flame me if you do. So thanks everyone. Now, head over to the humor section and calm yourself down, I know I ended on a really sad note, so lighten up a bit before I depress you for the whole day! ^^"
C ya soon!
Okay, okay, I KNOW I have too many fics out right now anyway, but seeing as how three of them are finished and one is fully written, I think I'm allowed to write a one-shot.
This is actually a pretty standard- if rare- kind of fic: the kind that shows Pegasus in a good and/or sympathetic way. I don't know why it took me this long to think of writing one of these, but I finally got around to it. If you absolutely hate Pegasus, please read this. It's my goal to make your kind of people think about him in a better way, maybe not hate him unconditionally anymore (no matter how unrealistic this goal is)
Just a warning, this is gonna be pretty deep. It's a one-shot, so it's short, but I'm going to make this very powerful. Rating is for the situations more than anything else. No cursing or violence.
Special thanks to B/k, jeti and RETD for proofing this for me. You guys really helped me a lot! ^^
***********************************************************
All for You
~ What have I done? ~ He thought, pacing around the tower. The question ran through his mind over and over again, until there was no room for any other thought. The question consumed him; he was unable to think of anything else.
~ What have I done? ~
He watched from his tower as Seto and Mokuba Kaiba were tearfully reunited. He saw in the younger boy's eyes such an intense relief that it almost brought tears to his only remaining good eye. He gripped the windowsill to stop his hands from shaking. That one thought kept swirling around in his head, refusing to leave him alone, refusing to let him rest.
~ What have I done? ~
He didn't have time to stop and ponder this. More questions came, each worse than the last. Before long, there was no room for any other thoughts in his mind.
~ What came over me? How could I have done this? How could I have said it was for her? What would she think of me now? ~
~ How can I live with myself? ~
He had to sit down before his legs gave out under him from his last thought. All this time, he'd been thinking of the future. But he never thought of this. He'd never thought about what he was doing. The ends had always justified the means- at least in his mind. Failure wasn't even an option. After all, most of his plan involved dueling, and how would anyone ever beat the very creator of Duel Monsters? But somehow, that was exactly what happened. And now he sat there questioning himself, questioning the goals he'd worked so hard to reach.
He turned to her portrait, having no one else to talk to. He was alone in the world, alone with his memories.
"Well what am I supposed to do now!?" He cried out. Sinking to his knees, he let his long hair cover his face, ashamed to let her see him as what he'd become, what he'd been reduced to without her. "I'm so sorry Cecilia. I thought I'd failed you when I was defeated; when I lost my one chance to bring you back to me. Now I see. I failed you long before now." A single tear rolled from his eye. At least before, he'd had hope with him; hope that by some miracle, she would be returned to him. Now even that tiny shred of hope, the one ray of light in a dark room, even that was gone. There was nothing left for him.
If anyone heard him yelling, crying, desperately searching for a way out of the hole he'd dug, they had the sense to leave him alone. The only ones left in the castle were the servants, and they'd all seen the master like this before. They knew better than to interfere. They'd seen what happened to the poor souls who did.
All his searches were in vain. There was no way out. He'd failed her more than he could ever have thought. This was what he'd become: a heartless, cold murderer. He knew she'd never have wanted him to be this way, no matter what the reason was. This was his fate. He'd live in shame, never to see her again, only to dwell on memories of the past.
It wouldn't be long until Yugi's story got to the press, he was sure. There was only a matter of time until Yugi's side of the story was out, and his would not be. No one would take pity on such a man as the boy would describe. Even the most loyal of fans, of game players, of anyone, none of them would waste a second thought on him anymore. The only one who might still listen to him was young Duke Devlin, a true fan and now a business partner. But no, he realized, Duke lived in Domino too. Far too close to Yugi. He'd hear the stories and give up on him, just as everyone else would. There was no more hope for him, and worse, there was no way out.
Well, in truth, there was always one way out. A last resort. Certainly never thought of as peaceful, but the one path he could see.
He stood again on shaking legs and walked to a small cabinet in his deck. Fishing a silver key from his pocket, he opened it. Why he kept a secret compartment in a private room was a mystery to him. In truth, it was to keep himself from remembering this choice, to stop it from tempting him. But now, with everything gone, all hope ripped from his heart, no one left for him in this world, there was no way to go on, and no other way out.
From his desk, he took out a small dagger. Anyone who could have seen it would have noticed something wonderful about it. For some it would be the beautifully polished blade, never yet used. For others, the perfect balance of the weapon, the handle just strong enough to support the blade and still light enough for quick, precise movements. For still others, the jewel-encrusted hilt would be the first thing to call attention to itself.
Right then for him, the most beautiful thing was the tip, perfectly sharpened to the point; a gentle friend in his last hour of need. This was the last resort, the final exit, the only inviting path left for him. Death was an escape from the nightmare his life was turning into before his eyes. And who knew, it may well be the way to find her again. He stood almost perfectly still with the knife in his hand, thinking about nothing in particular, feeling the balance of the blade and hilt, moving his thoughts away from what he was about to do. Then finally, with an almost careless movement, he brought the tip of the blade close to his chest . . .
Perhaps some would say he never really meant to do it, and that was why he stopped. Others may think he re-thought his decision just in time. That is wrong. He fully meant to kill himself, to end the pain awaiting him before it even began, but that wasn't what happened.
It wasn't what she wanted.
Just before the act was done, he heard her voice calling to him. Softly, to be sure, but it was her. He'd know her voice anywhere.
"No, please, don't! Don't die yet!"
He may well have been hallucinating for one reason or another with all the stress he was under. This he knew, and he didn't particularly care.
"Cecilia! Where are you?" he cried. The knife slipped out of his hand and clattered to the floor as he ran to her portrait.
"Maximillian, you mustn't die yet." Her voice echoed around him eerily, as though it were thought rather than spoken word. He didn't stop to consider that it may have been.
"Darling, I'm coming to you! Why? I can go on without you for only so long!" he was shivering slightly; fully convinced he was talking to her directly. Her voice echoed the words.
"You mustn't die yet"
"WHY!?" he yelled. "Please, let me be at peace, I can take this world no more!" The tears welled up in his eye. He was begging now. He was so sure that she'd never just leave him like this. He knew he never would have.
Her reply shocked him more than anything. "Maximillian, you do not deserve the punishment of death . . ." He looked up at her painting again. Was he really forgiven so easily? "There are things far worse than death." His eyes widened and already fast breathing quickened. His body knew something was very wrong, even if his mind didn't.
He didn't understand. He'd done so much for her. There was nothing more he could do but die. Deprived so suddenly of the only hope and joy in his life, he didn't want to live any longer. There was just too much pain in life.
"Look at yourself," she said, her voice growing ever louder. "Look what you are, what you've become! You do not deserve the peace of death!" There wasn't anything he could do but stare at her, eyes filled with pain, body still with shock. "You will die when you were meant to and not one moment before! Such is your punishment! For some, death is the ultimate price to pay; the ultimate penalty. We cannot give it to one like you, one who not only wishes for it but tries to take it himself! Your actions have earned you your worst penalty: YOU MUST LIVE!"
"NO!" he fell to his knees again, crying for real now. "How can you do this!? Please, please let me die! Let me be with you once more! Please, I beg you! Anything but life!"
By this point all possibility of her being an illusion had left his mind. That being said, if she were truly not real, she was wonderful at acting it.
Finally, she appeared in front of him. Her tone softened. Her eyes, though smiling, were filled with tears, the same way his were. She spoke softly again.
"Please, please understand. It is not that I don't care. You must atone for what you have done. When the time is right, then you will be permitted to join me. But it is not just for your punishment." She reached a ghostly hand to his cheek. He would have sworn that he felt her delicate fingers wiping away his tears. "I am no longer of this world, though I ache to be once more. Let me live through you. As long as you live, I will be with you, deep in your heart." She began to float away from him, slowly. He took the hand she still extended to him in his own. "Live for me."
She disappeared, like mist on a sunny morning. Her words still echoed around him. He slowly closed his hand on empty air. Still staring at her picture, he knew he had no choice. After all he'd done, there was no way he could betray her wishes to save himself. He bowed his head and spoke once more.
"I understand. I will not like this. There is no life for me here anymore; every day will be meaningless. But I cannot end it. I have not been allowed peace and happiness. But as long as I still live, you must remember. I've been through much already. In little time, I will be through much more. This life is nothing to me without you. But still I shall live. And until this nightmare finally comes to an end, I need you to remember.
"I did it all for you, my love."
*********************************************************
CPegasus: *starts crying like a little baby*
Sam: *rolls eyes* for pity's sake, you're the one who wrote the thing!
CPegasus: I know . . . *sniff* but . . . *sniff sniff* IT'S SO SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sam: -_- oh please.
CPegasus: *stops crying eventually* well, anyway, I wanted to make a few comments on this story now. If you're in a hurry, by all means leave now. The fic's over. This is just the Author's Note.
For one thing, I want to say that this was probably the hardest thing for me to write yet. The actual content came pretty easily, I love dealing with deep and dramatic situations, but it was so hard for me to do that to Pegasus.
D'you know this wasn't the original ending? Or well, more accurately, the only ending I had?
Here's the deal (I'm sharing this with you because I find it interesting to me). What you just read was pretty much what I had all along. But about a day and a half before I wrote the ending, I started doubting myself. My goal, as I said, was to get through to people who maybe don't like him too much. I started wondering if maybe having him actually commit suicide would shock people enough for me to get my message across. But I really, really didn't want to kill him, and I thought it would be sadder for him if he had to keep living with himself after all that. So to decide, I asked a bunch of my friends whether they thought the ending to West Side Story or Romeo and Juliet was sadder (for those of you who don't know, in R&J, both lovers died, while in WSS, Maria is left to live without Tony). By unanimous vote, they said WSS. And that settled it for me. Still, I was obsessing for a whole day (in school, I was thinking about this while I was running in gym and again when I was supposed to be learning Geometry) about whether I should- not to mention if I could- kill him. So that's the story behind that.
Like I said, this is a one-shot, so don't ask for a sequel or anything, not that I'd get a plot for one anyway.
Thanks for reading all my babble.
Please, if you review, send me an E-mail address or a signed review. Since I won't be continuing this, I'll want to contact you through e-mail or instant messenger. Flames will be accepted, but you better have a damn good reason to flame me if you do. So thanks everyone. Now, head over to the humor section and calm yourself down, I know I ended on a really sad note, so lighten up a bit before I depress you for the whole day! ^^"
C ya soon!