Off-Kilter
by Jaclyn // musicnotej@aol.com
08.29.03
Timeline: AU after Sleep Tight. In this universe, Wolfram & Hart find Connor, and quickly.
*
"I-- Angel, listen. I have Connor. We found him."
Vampires don't breath, but Angel sounds like he's damn near choking. Though Lilah knows absolute fury isn't far away, at the moment Angel's voice sounds of pure relief. Wouldn't the Senior Partners just love her if he was actually happy enough at this turn of events to lose his soul? Two birds with one stone.
(Although Lilah herself has changed her mind a bit; she prefers Angel in his I-don't-kill-humans mode, thank you very much.)
"Is he okay? Is he safe? If you hurt him-- My G-d, how old is he?" Angel's thoughts trip over each other, and the words that stumble out of the telephone speaker into her office don't sound like him at all. She has never heard his voice dressed in anything but cold menace. This is far from.
"Umm...not that I'm a good judge of baby ages or anything, but I'd say around two?"
"Two..."
Mood-swinging vampire on the loose, Lilah thinks, rolling her eyes. Who goes from overjoyed to dejected in a word?
"TWO YEARS, LILAH!"
...and on to overwhelming rage!
"That's TWENTY-ONE MONTHS of MY SON'S LIFE that YOU TOOK FROM ME! You bitch! You and your ridiculous fucking firm--"
She wonders if her parents loved her like this. "Angel...this isn't why I called...Angel!"
He rants on, oblivious. Sighing, Lilah hits the speakerphone button. Connor's cries fill the telephone line.
Angel stops dead. "Connor..."
The sheer yearning in his voice makes Lilah freeze. She almost feels kind of...bad...for him. Holy crap.
"Angel," she says -- gently! "You get within fifty feet of my apartment or the firm and you won't even have time to count the stakes in your heart before you're dust."
"Lilah! I need to see my son. I need to see him. Lilah--"
"Angel, look, to tell you the truth, I'm actually feeling kinda bad about this, and even though I don't generally feel bad about anything, there's nothing I can--"
"Lilah! Please. Please, Lilah."
Angel is begging. With her. She's broken him. All those times he's made her feel unsafe in her own damn car, all those times he's made her feel unsafe ANYWHERE -- all those times mean nothing now. She's won. But where is the power trip she'd expected, the glorious triumph singing through her veins?
Truth be told, it makes her sick to her stomach, hearing a creature like him reduced to desperate pleading over a telephone line. It makes the whole world feel off-balance.
"I just called to..." she begins softly. She can practically feel his intense concentration on her from across the city. He's listening so hard, the poor dork, as if that will help anything. As if his hearing isn't good enough already. "...to ask if you had any suggestions on how to make your kid stop crying. He won't."
"He needs me."
It's strange, but she thinks they're speaking as equals. Two players, both worthy, but caught on opposite sides of the game. She twists the phone's cord around her finger and cringes under the weight of a new solemnity. "I can't, Angel."
"Why'd you do this, Lilah? Why are you doing this to me?"
Pause. Strange pain in her chest. "I'm sorry," she whispers, and hangs up the phone.
Of course, it immediately rings again. She doesn't wait for for him to speak, just start speaking herself. "Angel, you're right, I shouldn't have called. But at least you know now that he's safe. I made an executive decision; we're not going to hurt him. Just...study him. Maybe...when we're done...we'll even give him back."
"Lilah..." Anguished wail.
"I'll send you pictures." Her voice cracks. She hangs up again, shaking.
What has she gotten herself into? And why does she care?
END