After all this, Snake goes to a laser-protected area.
-"Snake, you can´t see them, but there are lasers all across this room" -Campbell informed.
-"Use your cigarretes!" -Naomi added.
-"Shut up, woman, I don´t need your tips" -Snake said.
-"Crap on you Snake" -And Naomi left.
Snake takes out his cigarretes and he began to smoke. The lasers appeared in the smoke.
With the help of his smokes, Snake arrives to a snowfield, the he receives a call from a guy called Deepthroat.
-"Elvis, can you hear me? there are claymore mines around there" -DT said,
-"No, I know you are Gas" -Snake replied.
-"No, Im Frank... eh.. Deepthroat, one of your fans, Elvis."
-"Crap."
-"I have all of your albums!"
-"Eh... good for you"
-"Anyway, use a mine detector" -Deepthroat switched off.
Snake walks through the mined field, but eventually a tank comes out of the building, a big boy is inside.
-"This is ravens territory, snakes don´t belong in Alaska" -The guy said.
-"Ravens don´t belong in Alaska either" -Snake replied.
-"Oh, crap..., Ok you win, I´ll give you the card"
The guy who is named Volcan Raven gives the card to Snake, who gets into the buliding.
-"Boss, I hope you are happy, he got the card" -V. Raven was talking to his boss.
-"YOU GAVE HIM THE CARD?! YOU FREAKIN´IDIOT!!! *fart*" -The boss replied.
-"I thought you wanted him to advance"
-"BUT OF COURSE NOT!!! *fart*"
Snake goes into the building and he receives a Codec call from Campbell and Naomi.
-"Snake" -Naomi said. -"That room is full of nuclear warheads!"
-"Shut up, switch to Campbell" -Snake said angrily.
-"Fu** you" -Naomi swithed to Campbell.
-"Snake, you can´t use your weapons there" -Campbell informed.
"Why?"
-"Because the game won´t let you, every time you try to use a weapon it will be blocked."
-"Darn programmers" -Snake said and switched off.
Snake manages to get to the elevator, no thanks to the efforts of the idiot Genome Soldiers, who were asking "What was that noise" and eventually returned to their work...
Snake arrives to the floor were Otacon is, but he receives yet another call from Deepthroat.
-"Snake, be careful, that room is full of gas!" -Deepthroat informed.
-"That won´t be a serious problem"
Snake began to struggle and he farts the best he can. The room is now full of gas, but now it were SNAKE´S gases...
Snake gets another call from his fan, Deepthroat.
-"Snake, know some web page where I can found Hentai?" -D.T asked.
-"No"
-"Give me an autograph?"
-"No"
-"Anyway, the floor is electrified, you need to destroy the main generator, use a Nikita Missile"
Strangely, Snake´s sight moves around the room and he can see the generator.
Snake returns to the floor below and kicks the crap outta many Genome Soldiers and using their bodies makes a human bridge over the electric floor.
Snake walks and he hears screams, pain moans and some ugly things.
-"Eeww.." -Snake thinks.
Then he sees a man babbling something about a ghost, and finds the Ninja Fan entering a room.
Snake follows him and he find Otacon, who is pissing his pants, just as Campbell said.
-"Oh, what´s next?" -Otacon asked.
-"Don´t worry, Elvis is here to rescue you" -Snake said.
-"Elvis!? Science is awesome! It brought you back! can I have an..."
-"No"
-"Well, just save me"
Snake fights the Ninja who speaks about using his bare hands to fight, Snake doesn´t put attention and blast the Ninja with a Nikita Missile.
-"Snake, you cheater!" -The Ninja said.
-"Hey hey, you said only a fool trust his life to a weapon, ok then, Im a fool but still I kicked the crap outta you" -Snake replied.
-"Good point" -The Ninja said. -"Do you remember me now?"
-"Eh.. HA! You are my spanish teacher! I KNEW IT!"
-"Eh.. no lo creo, yo no se hablar español, maldito imbecil, tonto, idiota y demás ofensas, ahora dime, quien soy?"
-"You are Campbell!"
-"No"
-"Uh... Don King? perhaps?"
-"Near"
-"Mmmhh.. What about Osama Bin Laden?"
-"OH! CRAP ON YOU!! YOU ARE MORE IDIOT THAN I THOUGHT!!! IM GRAY FOX!!!!"
-"I just knew it, what brings you here bro?"
-"I want you to kill me, but I can wait" -Then he had to pee and left.
Snake fins Otacon playing Resident Evil 3 on his Playstation.
-"Stooopid Nemesis" -Otacon said.
-"Can I play?" -Snake asked.
-"I´ll let you play if you give me an autograph"
-"No"
-"Mmmmhh.. can you kill Nemesis?"
-"Sure I can"
Otacon handed the controller to Snake, who kicked the fu** outta Nemesis.
-"My savior" -Otacon said pissing his pants happily.
-"Eeww.." -Snake turned off the PSX. -"I have to destroy Metal Gear Crap, you created it, did´t you?"
-"Sure I did" -Otacon replied. -"I did it to conquer some ladies"
-"Ladies don´t like giant bipedal tanks.... eh.. whatever"
-"Oh, crap"
-"Anyway, know somethin´ I can use to stop it from launching?"
-"No" -Otacon said, still pissing his pants.
-"Well, I will dispose of you" -Snake pointed his SOCOM to Otacon.
-"NO!!! I know a way, I´ll tell it to you if you give me an..."
-"No"
-"Anyway"
Snake receives a Codec call from the girl who stupidly shooted him in the foot.
Her name was Meryl, the niece of Campbell. Bla bla bla, you are a real bastard, just as my uncle said.. bla bla bla. But then Meryl is discovered by the stupid Genome Soldiers.
-"And I like anime and Hentai and...." -Otacon was talking about himself.
-"Eh, man I have to go, a girl´s in trouble" -Snake said.
-"Oh, fine, I will use my Stealth camo to run stupidly around the base and I will call to annoy you"
-"That´s ok for me"
Snake goes out, he takes the elevator again and finds three stupid Genome Soldiers, one of them more idiot than his friends.
-"He´s walking like a girl, oh... I know"
Snake walked up to the Genome Soldier and punched "him" in the head.
-"You stupid gay, I hate your kind"
The Genome Soldier ran and got in the ladies restroom.
-"He´s sick... anyway, I´ll follow him"
Snake goes into the W.C and finds some clothing, then he feels a gun cannon in his head.
-"This is the second time I point my gun to your head" -Meryl said.
-"Oh, it´s you, but.. did you see a gay enter this place? I´ll kill him" -Snake said.
-"So you are the freakin´idiot who punched me, eh?" -Mery shooted at Snake´s foot again.
-"AAGAAGGAGHHHHHH!!!!!"
When the little problem is solved, the guys go out of the restroom, but there were no stupid Genome Soldiers.
-"Strange" -Meryl said. -"No stupid Genome Soldiers"
-"Kinda fishy"
Meryl and Snake enter the commander room, but Meryl start acting like an idiot.
-"Snake...." Maryl walked up to him. -"Do you like me..?"
-"Sure I do" -Snake replied.
-"Make me yours Snake..."
-"Oh.. if you wish so"
Snake takes Meryl and tries to kiss her. Meryl punches him in the nuts.
-"You idiot, you are supposed to discover who is behind all this!" -Meryl exclamed.
-"Oh.. but you said that..."
-"IM BEING CONTROLLED BY PSYCHO MANTIS YOU MUTHA FU***!!!!"
-"Oh"
Snake receives a Codec call from Campbell.
-"Snake, just punch Meryl to the floor!" -Campbell pleaded.
-"It must be Psycho Man...." -Naomi tried.
-"You again? Go away, shoo!" -Snake said.
-"You will pay for this Snake, just wait until FOXDIE beat the crap outta you"
-"Wha..?"
-"Just beat Psycho Mantis Snake!" -Campbell ordered.
Psycho Mantis showed himself, and he told Snake to put his controller in the floor.
-"What is that supposed to mean?" -Snake asked.
-"Oh, well I will read your sexual wishes"
-"You are sick" -Snake said.
-"Let´s see... Oh! AN ARMY MEN SAVED GAME!? WHAT KINDA CRAP DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR MIND?!"
-"Im more soft than you think"
-"Mmhh... A Chrono Cross saved game here, man that´s cool, one of Squaresoft most perfect games.... Hey.. what´s this? Resident Evil and Megaman X6 saved games, another two good games, and the last one.... WHAT THE?! HARRY POTTER?! YOU FREAKIN´ IDIOT!!! HOW COULD YOU BUY THAT CRAP?!"
-"I told you about how soft Im"
-"That´s not soft, that´s SICK. And for that reason I will kill you"
Psycho Mantis used his powers to move chairs, jars, and almost everything in the room, but Snake avoided it, so Mantis controlled Meryl again but Snake beated the crap outta the girl.
-"You cannot defeat me anyway, I can read your mind"
Snake receives yet another call from Roy.
-"Snake, plug your controller in the second port of your PlayStation!" -Campbell said.
-"Uh?" -Snake tried to understand.
-"Mmh.. Just think something pervert"
Snake began to think, let´s see, a chocolate bar, mmhh... another one, Roy naked, eewww... no Snake, c´mon, you can think something better than that...
That´s it!! Meryl naked in a room eating a chocolate bar with Roy naked too!
-"NOOOOO!!!!" -Mantis screamed in pain and he fell down and he died.
Maryl waked up and bitchslaped Snake.
-"HEY! WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?" -Snake asked angrily.
-"While Mantis was controlling me I could see everything he was reading in your mind, you aren´t Elvis, you are a pervert." -Meryl replied.
-"Oh no, Im Elvis"
-"Ok, I will trust ya, now where to Elvis?"
-"What about that door?"
Snake and Meryl are now in a very cold place, the barks of a little dog could be heard.
-"Follow me" -Meryl ran away.
Snake follows her but she is at the other side of a big rock.
-"How did you get in there?" -Snake asked.
-Hideo Kojima is my uncle" -Meryl replied.
-"Darn"
Snake goes through the doggie´s house, he got bited many times but he managed to survive, when he arrives where Meryl was he punchs her and quickly gets in the carboard box.
Maryl opens the box and "inserts" a Stun Granade.
BOOM.
-"Ok, let´s open that door" -Mery said.
Snake and Meryl enter the building.
-"Wait Snake, there are mines all around the floor, follow me" -Maryl said,
Maryl began to walk around the room like an idiot, then...
BOOOOM.
-"Owww...." -Maryl was in the floor.
-"You idiot, could see the mines eh? liar." -Snake said angrily.
Then Snake heard a voice.
-"Elvis? Is that you? Can you give me an autograph?" -The voice echoed.
-"No" -Snake replied.
-"Shit, Ok, this will help you to change your mind"
Then Meryl gets shooted by a sniper, Snake runs and hides behind a wall.
-"Then what, give me an.."
-"No"
-"Darn you" -And the sniper shooted again at Meryl -"What about now?"
-"No, no and no"
-"Really?" -The sniper said shooting at Meryl again. -"And now what?"
-"ELVIS!! GIVE HER A FU***** AUTOGRAPH!!" -Meryl screamed.
-"No, I have my dignity"
Then Snake received a Codec call from Master.
-"Snake, *fart* you must get a sniper rifle or your girl´s gonna get killed" -Master said.
-"Master, still with your stomach problem?"
-"*FARRRRTTTTTTT*"
-"Oh, ok, I´ll get the rifle"
Strangely, Snake finds a Sniper Rifle behind him.
-"Wha..?"
Then the author (me) appears behind Snake.
-"Yo! Snake, I make this rifle to appear here ´cause I think its really stupid to go back to the weapons storage building and return here again."
-"Eh.. thanx"
-"Anyway, can I have an autograph?"
-"No"
-"Well, see ya!" (Disappears)
Snake takes the Rifle and shoots Sniper Wolf in the head. The woman is still alive and kickin´.
-"WHAT IN THE HOLY NAME OF CRAP?!?!?!" -Snake screamed. -"You are supposed to get killed in one shot!!"
-"Actually my skin is made from steel or something" -Sniper Wolf replied. -"Do you see that bar above us?"
-"Uh? What the?"
-"That bar is our energy bar, I will not fall down until my bar is totally empty"
-"Oh..."
Snake points his gun to Sniper Wolf´s energy bar and shoot. The bar gets broken and a liquid fells, the bar is now empty and Sniper Wolf is not there anymore.
-"Where the hell is Maryl?" -Snake couldn´t find the girl´s body, eh... corpse... whatever...
Snake receives a Codec call from Mei Ling, the cutie who designed the Codec.
-"Snake, isn´t this a good time to save your progress?" -The Cutie asked.
-"Save.. my progress?" -Snake asked.
-"Yeah, just insert a memory card and say: SAVE."
Then Mei Ling was kicked out of the frecuency and Campbell said.
-"Im sorry Snake, Mei Ling was on crack" -Campbell informed.
-"Oh" -Snake replied. -"Better get moving"
Snake walks and finds a door, an alarm sounds and two stupid Genome Soldiers appear behind him, pointing at his head with FAMAS.
-"Don´t move" -A S.G.S. said.
-"Why not? you are the MOST stupid enemies from any game, I won´t obey your orders" -Snake said.
-"Oh, crap" -The other S.G.S. said.
-"Well, I will shoot you in the head if you don´t move" -The first S.G.S. said.
-"You haven´t enough intelligence to pull the trigger" -Snake added.
-"Oh, crap" -The second Stupid Genome S. said.
-"Eh... I will smash you to bits if you don´t obey me" -The first S.G.S said.
-"I haven´t changed my mind, you low-I.Q polygonal-like-enemies." -Snake laughed.
-"Oh, crap" -The other Stupid G. S. talked again.
Then Sniper Wolf appeared and scratched Snake´s face.
-"I´ve left my mark on you" -Wolf said.
-"Actually, my face is intact" -Snake smiled.
-"Darn" -Sniper Wolf scratched Snake again.
-"Still nothin´"
-"Why the hell?!"
-"Because of the game´s textures, this is MY face, and there isn´t any other texture for my face in the CD" -Snake said still smiling.
-"Darn programmers" -Wolf said angrily.-"Anyway, I will guide you to the torture room, where you will receive electric shocks"
-"Sounds kinda dangerous"
-"Sure it is, anyway, follow me"
-"No"
-"I have PlayBoy magazines in the T. room." -The first S.G.S. said.
-"Oh, crap" -The second S.G.S. said, demostrating his low I.Q.
-"Oh, what are we waiting for then?" -Snake said and ran to the torture room.
(Well, I think that´s enough for now, anyway, if you have some cool ideas please e-mail me. Domo arigato gozaimasu, Ja ne!)
-"Snake, you can´t see them, but there are lasers all across this room" -Campbell informed.
-"Use your cigarretes!" -Naomi added.
-"Shut up, woman, I don´t need your tips" -Snake said.
-"Crap on you Snake" -And Naomi left.
Snake takes out his cigarretes and he began to smoke. The lasers appeared in the smoke.
With the help of his smokes, Snake arrives to a snowfield, the he receives a call from a guy called Deepthroat.
-"Elvis, can you hear me? there are claymore mines around there" -DT said,
-"No, I know you are Gas" -Snake replied.
-"No, Im Frank... eh.. Deepthroat, one of your fans, Elvis."
-"Crap."
-"I have all of your albums!"
-"Eh... good for you"
-"Anyway, use a mine detector" -Deepthroat switched off.
Snake walks through the mined field, but eventually a tank comes out of the building, a big boy is inside.
-"This is ravens territory, snakes don´t belong in Alaska" -The guy said.
-"Ravens don´t belong in Alaska either" -Snake replied.
-"Oh, crap..., Ok you win, I´ll give you the card"
The guy who is named Volcan Raven gives the card to Snake, who gets into the buliding.
-"Boss, I hope you are happy, he got the card" -V. Raven was talking to his boss.
-"YOU GAVE HIM THE CARD?! YOU FREAKIN´IDIOT!!! *fart*" -The boss replied.
-"I thought you wanted him to advance"
-"BUT OF COURSE NOT!!! *fart*"
Snake goes into the building and he receives a Codec call from Campbell and Naomi.
-"Snake" -Naomi said. -"That room is full of nuclear warheads!"
-"Shut up, switch to Campbell" -Snake said angrily.
-"Fu** you" -Naomi swithed to Campbell.
-"Snake, you can´t use your weapons there" -Campbell informed.
"Why?"
-"Because the game won´t let you, every time you try to use a weapon it will be blocked."
-"Darn programmers" -Snake said and switched off.
Snake manages to get to the elevator, no thanks to the efforts of the idiot Genome Soldiers, who were asking "What was that noise" and eventually returned to their work...
Snake arrives to the floor were Otacon is, but he receives yet another call from Deepthroat.
-"Snake, be careful, that room is full of gas!" -Deepthroat informed.
-"That won´t be a serious problem"
Snake began to struggle and he farts the best he can. The room is now full of gas, but now it were SNAKE´S gases...
Snake gets another call from his fan, Deepthroat.
-"Snake, know some web page where I can found Hentai?" -D.T asked.
-"No"
-"Give me an autograph?"
-"No"
-"Anyway, the floor is electrified, you need to destroy the main generator, use a Nikita Missile"
Strangely, Snake´s sight moves around the room and he can see the generator.
Snake returns to the floor below and kicks the crap outta many Genome Soldiers and using their bodies makes a human bridge over the electric floor.
Snake walks and he hears screams, pain moans and some ugly things.
-"Eeww.." -Snake thinks.
Then he sees a man babbling something about a ghost, and finds the Ninja Fan entering a room.
Snake follows him and he find Otacon, who is pissing his pants, just as Campbell said.
-"Oh, what´s next?" -Otacon asked.
-"Don´t worry, Elvis is here to rescue you" -Snake said.
-"Elvis!? Science is awesome! It brought you back! can I have an..."
-"No"
-"Well, just save me"
Snake fights the Ninja who speaks about using his bare hands to fight, Snake doesn´t put attention and blast the Ninja with a Nikita Missile.
-"Snake, you cheater!" -The Ninja said.
-"Hey hey, you said only a fool trust his life to a weapon, ok then, Im a fool but still I kicked the crap outta you" -Snake replied.
-"Good point" -The Ninja said. -"Do you remember me now?"
-"Eh.. HA! You are my spanish teacher! I KNEW IT!"
-"Eh.. no lo creo, yo no se hablar español, maldito imbecil, tonto, idiota y demás ofensas, ahora dime, quien soy?"
-"You are Campbell!"
-"No"
-"Uh... Don King? perhaps?"
-"Near"
-"Mmmhh.. What about Osama Bin Laden?"
-"OH! CRAP ON YOU!! YOU ARE MORE IDIOT THAN I THOUGHT!!! IM GRAY FOX!!!!"
-"I just knew it, what brings you here bro?"
-"I want you to kill me, but I can wait" -Then he had to pee and left.
Snake fins Otacon playing Resident Evil 3 on his Playstation.
-"Stooopid Nemesis" -Otacon said.
-"Can I play?" -Snake asked.
-"I´ll let you play if you give me an autograph"
-"No"
-"Mmmmhh.. can you kill Nemesis?"
-"Sure I can"
Otacon handed the controller to Snake, who kicked the fu** outta Nemesis.
-"My savior" -Otacon said pissing his pants happily.
-"Eeww.." -Snake turned off the PSX. -"I have to destroy Metal Gear Crap, you created it, did´t you?"
-"Sure I did" -Otacon replied. -"I did it to conquer some ladies"
-"Ladies don´t like giant bipedal tanks.... eh.. whatever"
-"Oh, crap"
-"Anyway, know somethin´ I can use to stop it from launching?"
-"No" -Otacon said, still pissing his pants.
-"Well, I will dispose of you" -Snake pointed his SOCOM to Otacon.
-"NO!!! I know a way, I´ll tell it to you if you give me an..."
-"No"
-"Anyway"
Snake receives a Codec call from the girl who stupidly shooted him in the foot.
Her name was Meryl, the niece of Campbell. Bla bla bla, you are a real bastard, just as my uncle said.. bla bla bla. But then Meryl is discovered by the stupid Genome Soldiers.
-"And I like anime and Hentai and...." -Otacon was talking about himself.
-"Eh, man I have to go, a girl´s in trouble" -Snake said.
-"Oh, fine, I will use my Stealth camo to run stupidly around the base and I will call to annoy you"
-"That´s ok for me"
Snake goes out, he takes the elevator again and finds three stupid Genome Soldiers, one of them more idiot than his friends.
-"He´s walking like a girl, oh... I know"
Snake walked up to the Genome Soldier and punched "him" in the head.
-"You stupid gay, I hate your kind"
The Genome Soldier ran and got in the ladies restroom.
-"He´s sick... anyway, I´ll follow him"
Snake goes into the W.C and finds some clothing, then he feels a gun cannon in his head.
-"This is the second time I point my gun to your head" -Meryl said.
-"Oh, it´s you, but.. did you see a gay enter this place? I´ll kill him" -Snake said.
-"So you are the freakin´idiot who punched me, eh?" -Mery shooted at Snake´s foot again.
-"AAGAAGGAGHHHHHH!!!!!"
When the little problem is solved, the guys go out of the restroom, but there were no stupid Genome Soldiers.
-"Strange" -Meryl said. -"No stupid Genome Soldiers"
-"Kinda fishy"
Meryl and Snake enter the commander room, but Meryl start acting like an idiot.
-"Snake...." Maryl walked up to him. -"Do you like me..?"
-"Sure I do" -Snake replied.
-"Make me yours Snake..."
-"Oh.. if you wish so"
Snake takes Meryl and tries to kiss her. Meryl punches him in the nuts.
-"You idiot, you are supposed to discover who is behind all this!" -Meryl exclamed.
-"Oh.. but you said that..."
-"IM BEING CONTROLLED BY PSYCHO MANTIS YOU MUTHA FU***!!!!"
-"Oh"
Snake receives a Codec call from Campbell.
-"Snake, just punch Meryl to the floor!" -Campbell pleaded.
-"It must be Psycho Man...." -Naomi tried.
-"You again? Go away, shoo!" -Snake said.
-"You will pay for this Snake, just wait until FOXDIE beat the crap outta you"
-"Wha..?"
-"Just beat Psycho Mantis Snake!" -Campbell ordered.
Psycho Mantis showed himself, and he told Snake to put his controller in the floor.
-"What is that supposed to mean?" -Snake asked.
-"Oh, well I will read your sexual wishes"
-"You are sick" -Snake said.
-"Let´s see... Oh! AN ARMY MEN SAVED GAME!? WHAT KINDA CRAP DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR MIND?!"
-"Im more soft than you think"
-"Mmhh... A Chrono Cross saved game here, man that´s cool, one of Squaresoft most perfect games.... Hey.. what´s this? Resident Evil and Megaman X6 saved games, another two good games, and the last one.... WHAT THE?! HARRY POTTER?! YOU FREAKIN´ IDIOT!!! HOW COULD YOU BUY THAT CRAP?!"
-"I told you about how soft Im"
-"That´s not soft, that´s SICK. And for that reason I will kill you"
Psycho Mantis used his powers to move chairs, jars, and almost everything in the room, but Snake avoided it, so Mantis controlled Meryl again but Snake beated the crap outta the girl.
-"You cannot defeat me anyway, I can read your mind"
Snake receives yet another call from Roy.
-"Snake, plug your controller in the second port of your PlayStation!" -Campbell said.
-"Uh?" -Snake tried to understand.
-"Mmh.. Just think something pervert"
Snake began to think, let´s see, a chocolate bar, mmhh... another one, Roy naked, eewww... no Snake, c´mon, you can think something better than that...
That´s it!! Meryl naked in a room eating a chocolate bar with Roy naked too!
-"NOOOOO!!!!" -Mantis screamed in pain and he fell down and he died.
Maryl waked up and bitchslaped Snake.
-"HEY! WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?" -Snake asked angrily.
-"While Mantis was controlling me I could see everything he was reading in your mind, you aren´t Elvis, you are a pervert." -Meryl replied.
-"Oh no, Im Elvis"
-"Ok, I will trust ya, now where to Elvis?"
-"What about that door?"
Snake and Meryl are now in a very cold place, the barks of a little dog could be heard.
-"Follow me" -Meryl ran away.
Snake follows her but she is at the other side of a big rock.
-"How did you get in there?" -Snake asked.
-Hideo Kojima is my uncle" -Meryl replied.
-"Darn"
Snake goes through the doggie´s house, he got bited many times but he managed to survive, when he arrives where Meryl was he punchs her and quickly gets in the carboard box.
Maryl opens the box and "inserts" a Stun Granade.
BOOM.
-"Ok, let´s open that door" -Mery said.
Snake and Meryl enter the building.
-"Wait Snake, there are mines all around the floor, follow me" -Maryl said,
Maryl began to walk around the room like an idiot, then...
BOOOOM.
-"Owww...." -Maryl was in the floor.
-"You idiot, could see the mines eh? liar." -Snake said angrily.
Then Snake heard a voice.
-"Elvis? Is that you? Can you give me an autograph?" -The voice echoed.
-"No" -Snake replied.
-"Shit, Ok, this will help you to change your mind"
Then Meryl gets shooted by a sniper, Snake runs and hides behind a wall.
-"Then what, give me an.."
-"No"
-"Darn you" -And the sniper shooted again at Meryl -"What about now?"
-"No, no and no"
-"Really?" -The sniper said shooting at Meryl again. -"And now what?"
-"ELVIS!! GIVE HER A FU***** AUTOGRAPH!!" -Meryl screamed.
-"No, I have my dignity"
Then Snake received a Codec call from Master.
-"Snake, *fart* you must get a sniper rifle or your girl´s gonna get killed" -Master said.
-"Master, still with your stomach problem?"
-"*FARRRRTTTTTTT*"
-"Oh, ok, I´ll get the rifle"
Strangely, Snake finds a Sniper Rifle behind him.
-"Wha..?"
Then the author (me) appears behind Snake.
-"Yo! Snake, I make this rifle to appear here ´cause I think its really stupid to go back to the weapons storage building and return here again."
-"Eh.. thanx"
-"Anyway, can I have an autograph?"
-"No"
-"Well, see ya!" (Disappears)
Snake takes the Rifle and shoots Sniper Wolf in the head. The woman is still alive and kickin´.
-"WHAT IN THE HOLY NAME OF CRAP?!?!?!" -Snake screamed. -"You are supposed to get killed in one shot!!"
-"Actually my skin is made from steel or something" -Sniper Wolf replied. -"Do you see that bar above us?"
-"Uh? What the?"
-"That bar is our energy bar, I will not fall down until my bar is totally empty"
-"Oh..."
Snake points his gun to Sniper Wolf´s energy bar and shoot. The bar gets broken and a liquid fells, the bar is now empty and Sniper Wolf is not there anymore.
-"Where the hell is Maryl?" -Snake couldn´t find the girl´s body, eh... corpse... whatever...
Snake receives a Codec call from Mei Ling, the cutie who designed the Codec.
-"Snake, isn´t this a good time to save your progress?" -The Cutie asked.
-"Save.. my progress?" -Snake asked.
-"Yeah, just insert a memory card and say: SAVE."
Then Mei Ling was kicked out of the frecuency and Campbell said.
-"Im sorry Snake, Mei Ling was on crack" -Campbell informed.
-"Oh" -Snake replied. -"Better get moving"
Snake walks and finds a door, an alarm sounds and two stupid Genome Soldiers appear behind him, pointing at his head with FAMAS.
-"Don´t move" -A S.G.S. said.
-"Why not? you are the MOST stupid enemies from any game, I won´t obey your orders" -Snake said.
-"Oh, crap" -The other S.G.S. said.
-"Well, I will shoot you in the head if you don´t move" -The first S.G.S. said.
-"You haven´t enough intelligence to pull the trigger" -Snake added.
-"Oh, crap" -The second Stupid Genome S. said.
-"Eh... I will smash you to bits if you don´t obey me" -The first S.G.S said.
-"I haven´t changed my mind, you low-I.Q polygonal-like-enemies." -Snake laughed.
-"Oh, crap" -The other Stupid G. S. talked again.
Then Sniper Wolf appeared and scratched Snake´s face.
-"I´ve left my mark on you" -Wolf said.
-"Actually, my face is intact" -Snake smiled.
-"Darn" -Sniper Wolf scratched Snake again.
-"Still nothin´"
-"Why the hell?!"
-"Because of the game´s textures, this is MY face, and there isn´t any other texture for my face in the CD" -Snake said still smiling.
-"Darn programmers" -Wolf said angrily.-"Anyway, I will guide you to the torture room, where you will receive electric shocks"
-"Sounds kinda dangerous"
-"Sure it is, anyway, follow me"
-"No"
-"I have PlayBoy magazines in the T. room." -The first S.G.S. said.
-"Oh, crap" -The second S.G.S. said, demostrating his low I.Q.
-"Oh, what are we waiting for then?" -Snake said and ran to the torture room.
(Well, I think that´s enough for now, anyway, if you have some cool ideas please e-mail me. Domo arigato gozaimasu, Ja ne!)