Tricks are No Treat!
Disclaimer: I don't own Danger Mouse, he's property of Cosgrove Hall productions. Lori L'amour aka M6 and Bagel are my characters, as are others here. This is fanfiction, not for profit… and no harm to the makers of the World's Greatest cartoon about the World's Greatest Secret agent…
Story 4! WOOHOO! My thanks to Sabertooth Kitty, Ellie ET and all you wonderful DM Agents at Clubdm.com who have encouraged me to continue with the fun! And now to a special Halloween story…
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Tricks are NO Treat
By Trynia Merin
Part 5
The Dragon tossed Danger Mouse down before Duckula, who stood by two hamsters, one sobbing and crying, as the other stood blankly, sweating profusely.
"DM! OH thank GOODNESS, he's torturing poor Bagel…"
"Oh what have you DONE to my poor little friend, and Bagel?" DM shouted at Duckula who glanced down at him.
"I brought him, Master," said the Dragon.
"You fiend!" DM hissed as Duckula strode up, and suddenly stepped on DM'S feet, levering him up as he grabbed the snared agent by the front of his chains. Shoving his bill into DM's nose he leered.
"Well well, here we are. Suppose you tell me where those codes are and we can forget all this melodrama. I've got a career to finance…"
"You sick… demented… Dragon, can't you see he's using you?" DM turned to the Dragon, but Duckula grabbed his face and poked his bill into DM's nose again.
"Look at me when I'm TALKING to you, mouse!" said Duckula angrily. "I'm SICK and TIRED of being pushed aside from the limelight by you. I'm gonna MAKE it or else you're gonna get BROKEN…"
"My my, we are touchy… just like a prima donna star…" DM taunted.
"Now, we can make this easy, or make it hard. You tell me where the codes are, and your two friends will have to listen to my next act as mindless zombies. If you don't, you'll join them, only YOU will have the privilege of seeing them alert and not so willing to hear me… choice is yours…"
"Never… you fiend," DM hissed.
"Don't do it DM," Penfold cried.
"Don't do it…"
"Danger MOUSE!" cried Penfold as Saul kicked open the door with a silver platform boot and gasped at what he saw.
"Oh GREAT, party crashers," said Duckula as he glared at the tall slender mouse with silky black fur, and the whiteface. Brown eyes glistened, one of them covered with a black star, a lovely agent in his arms.
"You've played your last solo, you excuse for a musician!" Saul shouted.
"Gila, he's stealing the spotlight. Take care of him…" Duckula said. "Now is your chance. If you rub him out, you'll be the front man in MY band…"
"This will be MY pleasure," said Gila with a leer.
"Um, maybe you should put me down now…" said Lori as she shivered.
"Um, yes… I've got a feeling I'm going to have my hands full," Saul said as he put Lori down, and they both dodged out of the way of a firebolt from the Dragon.
"Here we go again," said DM with a sigh. He struggled again with his chains.
"OH DM, what are we going to do," sobbed Penfold. "He's got Bagel in a trance…"
"Brave heart Pnfold… at least I'm here… we'll figure SOMETHING out," DM said as he struggled. "Now if only I can remember that escapology course…"
"Saul, free DM!" shouted Lori as she leapt up and onto the Dragon's back. Saul rolled over and aimed his laser vision at DM, who gasped as the chains were neatly sliced down the middle.
"Thank you very much…" DM gasped as Saul helped him up.
"Look out!" Saul said, pushing DM out of the way. Lori leapt up and over the Dragon's head, landing by Bagel and Penfold. Saul turned, aiming his laserbeam at the Dragon's firey breath. His beam widened, purple light streaming to match the Dragon's fiery plumes and pushed it back. In the meantime, DM untied Penfold's ropes, as Lori tried to free Bagel.
"Oh no you don't," Duckula snapped as he swung at Lori.
"Not today, thank you," she snapped as she snared his feet with her tail and tripped him.
"Oh DM," Penfold cried as he hugged him. "You HAVE to help her, and Bagel…"
"Steady on," said DM as they rushed over to where Bagel lay. "Look after her Penfold. I've got to help Lori with Duckula…"
"You give him one for ME!" said Penfold angrily as he pulled Bagel onto his lap, and gently patted her cheek. She gazed up past him, unblinking, with a glazed look in her eyes.
"No so fast, pretty," said Duckula as he flashed his rhinestone studded jacket in Lori's eyes, blinding her. He slipped out of her tail, and then flashed the mirror in her eyes. She struggled against the spell, groaning as he will deserted her.
"Now, I'll ask you again…"
"That's far enough, you vegetarian nightmare!" came a loud voice. Everyone turned to see Count Von Squarkencluck standing there with a handful of rotten cabbage. "Danger Mouse, catch!"
"Thank you!" DM shouted as he grabbed the cabbage and suddenly rushed up to Duckula, who held Lori at bay with his spinning mirror.
"Get back, you monster!" DM said, as he waved it before Duckula.
"UGGGH!" Duckula gasped. "Not the cabbage… peeeyeww…"
"Get back, you zombies, be free!" shouted Squarkencluck as he moved quickly for his old age, rushing over to where Penfold and Bagel huddled, Penfold softly stroking her face and sniffling sadly. He was unable to bring her out of her trance. The zombies groaned and held their noses, suddenly blinking as Squarkencluck's uncle waved the cabbage in their faces.
"Works every time," he giggled. "Now… meine kleine Freund, vas is vrong?"
"She's under a spell and I can't wake her," Penfold cried. "Oh please say you can help her…"
"Simple, Penfold," he said, handing him a rotten cabbage leaf. "Vave it under her nose. Ja?"
"Let her go NOW!" DM shouted, advancing on Duckula. He brought the mirror up, and spun it, the light flashing across the crowd.
"STOP HIM!" he shouted to the crowd. Still light flared and fire flickered as the Super Star and the Dragon exchanged volleys of fire for laser beams, their fingers locking as they wrestled against one another. DM glanced back and forth wildly as the crowd, including Colonel K and Agent 23 advanced on him. He waved the cabbage before them, barely keeping the circle from closing round him.
"That's far enough, you biological menace," Professor Squarkencluck said as he pushed his way through the crowd.
"Uh oh," Duckula gasped when he saw an identical spinning mirror in the hands of his nemesis.
"Why doesn't the rotten cabbage work to break the trance?" asked DM as he shouted to Squarkencluck, the Count.
"Because, mein device…" said Squarkencluck. "And for that, I am most sorry… ja?"
"You… stay away…" Duckula gasped as both DM and the Professor advanced on him, while the Count kept the zombies away from Penfold and Bagel. Still Gila and Saul dueled.
"Du! Shupershtar… you… Schtan… use your mind control on him!" shouted the Count to Saul.
"But…"
"Do it! It vill break the spell!" shouted Professor Squarkencluck as he tossed something to him. "Catch!"
A glimmering mirror arched overhead and landed in Saul's hand as he backed away from the Dragon. Holding it up he beamed his laser vision into it, and then the purple light whirled and spun about the room, bouncing off the disco ball. Beams of purple energy richoched and flashed in everyone's eyes, freeing them from the spell.
"I don't get it," DM mumbled.
"It is simple, ja?" Count Squarkencluck shouted to DM. "Vampires use a phorm of telepathic hypnosis on their victims… und this Shupershtar uses telepathy. So… he ist die vone to undo it…"
"You're free!" shouted Saul. The beam suddenly richoched and spun, hitting Bagel in the eyes, and then Lori. Gasping she looked up at Penfold, who leaned over her in concern.
"Oy vey, those jokes… were awful!"
"OH thank goodness you're all right!" Penfold cried as he hugged her.
"I'm free… I'm free," she laughed as she hugged him back.
"Now, for you," said DM. "Shall you, or I?"
Nodding to the Count, DM advanced as Professor Squarkencluck, and Count Squarkencluck rushed up, each holding rotten cabbages and eggs. Duckula held up his hands, squawking as he hissed and backed away.
"Ohhh nooo!" he cried.
"You… what…" Gila Scalesimm, the Dragon gasped and blinked as he looked at Saul spinning the mirror, and extending the affects of his power to break the trance. "One moment I wanted to splatter you, and now I'm… it's like waking from a dream…"
"That creep put you in a trance…" Saul pointed to where DM and the Squarkenclucks advanced on Duckula.
"Wait till I get through with him!" Gila's eyes flared red.
"Don't worry, I think DM and the others have it under control…" Saul laughed as Duckula suddenly disappeared in a puff of smoke.
"How did you know?" DM turned to the Squarkenclucks. "You're a scientist professor…"
"Mein family has been fighting vampires vor generations," the Count looked at his nephew. "Shimple, ja?"
"Ja," nodded Squarkencluck, the professor.
"Someone MIND telling me WHAT the deuce is going on here?" Colonel K demanded, rubbing his eyes and looking confusedly around.
"OH just another case solved, by the world's greatest secret agent," said DM with a smile as he helped Lori up.
"Lori…" Saul rushed over, followed by Gila. "Are you all right?"
"Yes…" she said, as he ran over and hugged her. "Thank you, for saving us…"
"My pleasure, but DM is the real hero," said Saul.
"It was all in a day's work," DM said with a shy look. "You would make a rather good agent yourself…"
"Yeah right, he's already taking all the glory… and he's got the James Bond looks already…" said Gila sarcastically, thumping Saul on the back.
"Oh gosh, Tommy and Petey," gasped Saul, as he still held Lori around the waist. "Are they ok?"
"They are fine, Herr Schtann," said Professor Squarkencluck as the agents all rubbed their eyes. "Vhe have not scheen the last of Duckula…"
"Not by a long shot," DM nodded grimly as he moved over to Lori, and patted her shoulder. "Are you all right?"
"Yes," she smiled. "Thank you…"
"Cor DM, I'm so glad you're all right," Penfold sighed as he walked up, holding Bagel's hand.
"So am I…"
"But please, NO more practical jokes…" Bagel begged.
"You are no fun," he chuckled.
"Oh you are terrible," said Bagel. "Here, let's shake and call it even…"
DM took her hand, and then suddenly yelped as he pulled it back. "Yeow!!!"
"Gotcha," Bagel laughed. DM saw the joy buzzer in her hand, and shook his head.
"Good grief! Very clever… I suppose I had that coming… I'm just annoyed I didn't think of that…"
"Oh crikey," sighed Penfold.
"What IS it with you and Halloween anyway?" Lori asked DM. He folded his arms across his chest and gave a rather guilty look.
"Well, we're waiting DM," Penfold tugged his elbow.
"Saul, you WOULD make a good agent. I mean you guys ARE heroes when you're not playing right?" asked Lori as she turned to him.
"Well yes," Saul said, looking at Gila.
"Uh huh. Wait a minute, you're not thinking what I THINK you're thinking, are you, man?" Gila asked.
"Well, we ARE traveling all around the world," Saul said. "And well, I was just thinking, would it HURT to um… work as secret agents once in a while? I mean THEY help keep nasty villains like Duckula and Greenback away…"
"Hmm, it could have some marketing potential," Gila mumbled. "Just think of all the money we could make designing vehicles for the secret service… and patenting them… the revenues would make millions…"
"Doesn't he think of ANYTHING besides money?"
"Yeah, women," said Gila. "Pretty women, like you baby. OH… and plenty of food… not to mention comic books…"
"Oh brother," sighed Lori. "And as for you saving me, there is ANOTHER tradition which may seem somewhat sexist, but must be done…"
"Which is?" Saul winked his star covered eye at her.
"This," she said, and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. He held her close and gave the kiss back, and smiled at her.
"That's a tradition that MUST be upheld."
"Hey what about me?" asked Gila.
"Get your own date for the night…"
"Oh yeah, plenty to chose from," Gila laughed as he walked out into the crowd of agents still confused.
Already Squarkencluck moved behind the organ, and started to play a credible version of a rather gothic sounding waltz. He then broke into an upbeat and MUCH better version of the Monster Mash, and everyone began to dance.
"I thought we were playing," Gila mumbled as he walked past with a pretty girl agent, a fox dressed as an angel and a crow dressed as a devil on either arm.
"Oh shaddup," grinned Tommy as he was dancing with a young girl sheep, in a Martian costume.
"Quite," he smiled. "Let's have a good time, shall we? And get this list to the Colonel…"
"Happy Halloween," said Danger Mouse to Penfold. "And I trust you STILL have those codes?"
"Er right here DM," said Penfold reaching into his pocket and handing them to DM. "But please can we go HOME now? All this scaring is tiring me out!"
"Of course," DM nodded. "But AFTER we enjoy the rest of the party… and THIS time no pranks… almost none…"
"Good, because I have a lot MORE when that joy buzzer came from," said Bagel with a wink at DM.
As Penfold and Bagel moved over to get some punch and cookies, DM turned to where Saul and Lori were standing, slowly dancing to the music.
"DM, about what you said about me making a good agent…" he asked.
"Yes?"
"Do you think possibly, that me and the guys could enter the training course… you know… just as an enhancement to our career… I mean we could make pretty good agents, since we're a rock band, and well, we WERE pledged to use our powers to help mankind…"
"Good grief," DM laughed. "That's a new one. What about your tour?"
"We're up for a hiatus…"
"Being an agent is NOT glamour and games," DM said with a snort. "I'm not sure you're ready…"
"Hey, being a musician isn't fun and games either," Saul said with a challenge in his eyes. "Hours on a bus, traveling from place to place, hours of rehearsals… it's NOT easy…"
"Quite," said DM with a cough.
"DM, can't you just ease off?" Lori asked with a smile. "Just because he's a rock star doesn't mean he's a degenerate…"
"Well, he HAS proved himself useful," DM said, as he shook Saul's hand. "But if your intentions toward M6 are what I presume they are, you can't expect her to shirk from her duty, and just by thinking you can waltz in and expect to monopolize and distract her time by PRETENDING to be an agent…"
"That's not it at all," Saul said slowly. "I um… well…"
"Guys, it's my decision," Lori said. "Stop being such a big brother DM…"
"Fifi asked me to look after you," DM said slowly.
"That's good, and you KNOW I wouldn't do ANYTHING to hurt her," Saul said with his arm around Lori's waist. "And the night isn't over…"
"But what about when you go about the world on tour?"
"We go about the world on missions," Lori said. "And we are just dancing…"
"Indeed," DM nodded slowly. "But dancing can lead to other things…"
"I'm a big girl, DM," she smiled.
"True," he nodded. "But it will take much to convince me that this gentleman is agent material… especially resorting to magical powers…"
"Powers were granted to me to help others," Saul said. "And you have secrets of your own, don't you, Danger Mouse…"
"Indeed," DM nodded. "Indeed…"
Seeing Lori standing next to the rock star, he remembered his own youth, not too long ago, but longer ago then Lori's stage of life. When things were less complicated, and the world was a much larger place. What was this strange need to play pranks in the face of danger, then to turn around and be so stiff and proper, Lori wondered? She had seen a glimpse of DM's playful and mischievous nature, but she couldn't help but wonder what Saul knew about DM hiding "secrets." Had the last time they met, where Saul had reached out to tough DM's mind and help bring his soul back from that other place, learned something about one another as their minds were close together?
"I trust nothing will go past us," he looked at Saul.
"Nothing," he nodded. "You're agent's after all."
DM nodded to himself and moved off to find Penfold. As he glanced at the couple dancing he noticed Lori was still wearing the sign he'd taped to her back. He gave himself a grin as he patted Saul's shoulder, and left a similar sign taped to the back of the rock star. As Gila and others saw the couple dance playfully past, they giggled.
The sign said Secret Agent wannabe… searching for a clue….
"DM, really," Penfold groaned when he looked up from where he was standing with Bagel, feeding her jelly babies and humbugs from a plate and saw the couple pass by.
"Are you SURE he's quite sane?" Bagel whispered.
"I suppose he can get away with being daft once a year… at least," Penfold whispered. "And cor, get a look at what DM's sign says…"
"Huh?" Bagel asked as Penfold pointed to DM, who was debriefing Colonel K. As the Chief turned; the sign taped to his back said "The White Blunder…"
"Oh you DIDN'T…" Bagel laughed.
"Go on… he deserved it," Penfold grinned.