The next day it rained. I woke in the morning to hear the rain falling against the window, the weather causing it to be chilly. Amber, as usual, was curled up in a ball and snuggled against me. I pulled the blankets tighter around us, staring at the water that ran down the window and the gray cloaked sky behind it.
And then I heard crying on the baby monitor so I pulled myself out of bed and went to Claudette, picked her up out of her crib and holding her for a while. She was so…miserable. It broke my heart. When someone you love so much is in pain, all you want to do is take it into yourself. I wish I could've done that for her.
Amber woke up minutes later and joined me.
"I'll take care of her…why don't you go make some coffee?" she'd asked me sincerely. I nodded and handed Claudette over to her before going downstairs, and, as she requested, made some coffee. I sat down at the kitchen table, staring out the big windows to the backyard, to the rain. The whole room, under the lights that I'd turned on, was spotless and perfect, white, slightly blinding. It was intimidating kinda. And it was cold. The rain made it cold. There was something very pure about the whole thing though, so I made no effort to change any of it.
Amber came silently into the kitchen a few minutes later, feet dragging and sliding without a sound as her feet were covered in the infamous Eeyore slippers. Claudette lay in her arms as she sat down to join me at the table.
The silence, the cold, the purity…it was strange. The only sound was the dripping of the coffee, and the rain hitting against the windows. And in this silence, and this awkwardness, still I felt that warmth inside that I'd discovered the night before. I knew it was something that would stay with me.
Amber spoke. "Why isn't she walking yet?" she asked softly. I frowned.
"What?"
She looked down to the child in her arms. "Claudette. Why hasn't she started walking yet?"
I was rendered speechless with having no clue how to answer. In truth I'd never thought about it. Because I didn't know enough about child development. "Why?" I asked. "What age do most kids learn to walk?"
Her eyebrows came together a bit. "A year. Year and a half. I mean she crawls and everything…eh I dunno. I'm just being worried."
"Is it really something to worry about?"
"I don't know," she paused. "Maybe I'll give Colette a call later and talk to her about it…she should know…"
I stood and walked over to her, standing behind her and resting my hands on her shoulders. "Calm down, hun. She's fine. We're fine. Everything is perfect. Just don't worry about it," I could feel her relaxing under my touch and began to massage her shoulders and back.
"Yeah…I'm just being paranoid. Everything's fine," she laughed softly. "I miss Jake."
I laughed also. "I wonder how he and Mark are making out…"
Just then, by coincidence, some act of nature…whatever, just weird timing…the phone rang as if to cut off the conversation. I walked over to pick the receiver up from the bracket on the wall.
"Hello?"
"K-Kane???" the person on the other end was crying. I frowned and leaned my back against the wall.
"Yes? Who is this??"
"I'm sorry…I don't mean to bother you but I didn't know who else I could call…do you even remember me? My name is Kitten…we met at a pizza parlor once…like a year ago…"
Yes. Kitten. I remembered her clearly, the one who was sad until she got to hold Jake and let out the nicest, happiest smile…my frown deepened. "Yes…I remember you. What's wrong, hun?"
"It's…I-uh-" her sobs were making her stutter.
"Calm down, hun…what is it? Where are you? Do you need anything?" Amber looked up at me with a bit of worry. I heard Kitten choking a sob through the phone. Her voice shook, tone horrified.
"I…I see th-things!" she sputtered. Now I was confused.
"Kitten…you have to calm down. Breathe for me. Are you in Boston? Do you want me to come get you? Do you need me to? It's only a few hours from here…"
She gasped a little. "I…don't want to…make you…do that."
"It's nothing. Besides, if you've been keeping up with wrestling news you'd know that me and Amber are taking a few days off. Come stay with us. It'll be fine. Just calm down…and I'll come get you…and we can talk and be calm. Can you do that for me?"
She said nothing for a few moments and I heard her taking deep breaths, trying to calm herself. "Al…right…" We were on the phone for about ten more minutes, she telling me where she would be and where I could pick her up…she lived in a town about an hour outside of Boston, which was conveniently closer to me than the actual city. So it saved me an hour of driving. I told her to calm herself down, trying to eat something and to pack a bag so that she could stay with us if she had to. I still had no idea what the hell she'd been crying over.
I explained the situation to Amber quickly, and she was more than willing to help out Kitten too. She didn't take the ride with me though, wanting to stay home with Claudette. And so I took a handful of CDs and climbed into the SUV that we owned and began to drive. I was nervous, worried for her, not knowing what to expect, and so I comforted myself by putting on music. I listened to a mix that Amber had made once. It had a little sticker with a flower on it that said "Amber" because…I don't know but it was really funny. I loved her and found myself laughing at little at it.
The sounds of One by Metallica rolled through my car, comforting me, and I was able to relax a bit as I pulled onto the wide open interstates. I was able to sing and bang out the beat on the steering wheel, feeling perfectly content for short periods of time until I would remember her.
I could see her in my head from the time we'd met. And her eyes that were just a bit distant, and seemed to be veiled in tears. The way she looked at me, how she tilted her head and looked kinda sad, and how she looked at Jake and had smiled. She was so…cute. It was just such a cute smile.
And now I knew nothing of what was going on. I didn't know how I'd find her, if she'd be calm, if she'd still be crying after a few hours…if she'd have some sort of bruises on her face or something…I had no idea what the hell was going on.
It was still raining too, and covered a lot of ground as it was also raining when I got to where she told me to meet her in a diner. My stomach was turning as I turned the car off and got out, walking into the place slowly, unknowing of what to expect and hoping that she'd pick me out and spare me the embarrassment of having me look for her. As I walked in people kinda looked at me sideways. I stood there for a moment, feeling awkward, hoping to all hell that she hadn't pulled some kind of a prank and was really there…or hoping that whatever it was that was bothering her wasn't preventing her from being there.
But these things must've ran through my head in less than half a second because before I could comprehend it, she was rushing over to me from the back. She looked different, more mature, and miserable. I mean in the pizza place she looked sad but…this was misery.
"Kane!" she latched onto me before I could stop her, not that I would've anyway. I pulled her into a hug, smoothing her hair.
"Shh…" I said softly to her, and began to lead her away. "C'mon let's go…"
She was crying, I didn't hear it but I could feel the wetness on my shirt. I put my hand on her shoulder and lead her out into the parking lot, helping her into my car. The rain seemed so…cliché. Or mocking. For it to be raining just then. And cold.
Before I started actually drove away I just turned the car on, letting the heat come on because it was chilly. By total coincidence, We're in This Together Now came on by Nine Inch Nails as I turned the car on and the CD player started up again. She was breathing slowly and not looking at me.
"Are you okay?" I asked her. She wiped tears away and searched through her backpack for a moment before pulling out a little pack of tissues. She wiped her eyes, wiping the running black mascara off her face.
"I…I don't know…" she stated softly. She sounded much calmer now.
I nodded slowly. "Alright. Just…calm down," I said, not knowing where I was going with my advice as I began to drive away. "I'm guessing if you wanted to call me you might want to talk about it…so just…when you're ready go ahead. Don't feel pressured to, though."
She sniffled and looked up at me. She was smiling again. "How can you be so nice?"
"Hmm?" I frowned and let out a little laugh.
"You're so…nice…you don't deserve what's happened to you."
I felt my heart ache a little but just smiled. "Eh. Karma. I'll be rewarded I'm sure." She laughed a little now and I felt a lot better. I wanted her to be okay. I hated seeing people sad, especially her. She was just…so fragile and it was heartbreaking.
"Oh you can change the CD if you want…" I said to her, waving submissively to the pile of CD cases between the driver and passenger seats. She nodded and looked through them.
"What are they?"
"Mixes. I don't like listening to just one CD so I always have mixes with me."
She grabbed one and put it in. It was called Wondermusic of Sorts. I laughed a little at the name. My life was just…one big joke. She pushed the random button and Bill Goldberg's WCW entrance music played.
I think I made the sound "Eep!!" and pushed the skip button before it had played too much. But she recognized it, and she laughed and laughed and laughed. I did too.
"Don't tell anyone…" I said to her. And then frowned. "Hey I thought you were a WWF fan! Why do you recognize that music!?!?!"
"Oh c'mon Kane. I'm a wrestling fan, not a WWF fan. I watch anything."
The song that came on in replace was Fur Elise by Beethoven. Yeah…I kinda had twisted tastes in music. She commented on it in a nice way.
For the whole ride back she spoke not once about what was bothering her. And we listened to music and laughed and joked but she stayed off the subject. And that was fine with me. And I felt something that resembled pride at the fact that I could cheer her up.
By the time we got back it was almost dusk. Amber had gone grocery
shopping and was making dinner. Honestly, I don't remember what she made. I
showed Kitten to a spare room and allowed her to rest a little bit and change
out of the clothes that she'd been wearing in the car. I did the same. And then
I joined Amber in the kitchen. Claudette was watching on in a high chair,
obviously in a better mood. And the fact that there was cooking going on made
the kitchen a more warm, friendlier place than it had been that morning.
Within minutes Kitten had come and joined us. The first thing she said was "Oh
my god Claudette has gotten so big!"
I had a great appreciation for her because of those eight words. Had she just been some fan trying to use us I don't think she would've cared. But she did. And she remembered Claudette's name and was very excited to see her. Amber sighed. I thought of the conversation she and I had had that morning.
"She's not walking yet?" Kitten asked.
Amber's head snapped up to look at her. And mine also. It took a second for it to replay in my head. The phone conversation. "I…I see th-things!"
"Christ!" I inadvertently exclaimed. "You're psychic! That's what you meant!" My mouth hung gaping open and she laughed a little, covering the tears that I saw spring into her eyes the moment I'd said it.
"Yeah…" she said softly. "Something like that," she smiled. "Don't worry there's nothing wrong with your daughter. I know it." I smile back, trusting her skill the way I trusted my brother's.
All the rest of the night I avoided the subject of her telepathy and I think she could sense it. But that didn't make a difference, I just didn't want to bring it up, seeing how upset she'd gotten. She was a nice girl, a lot of fun to be with. That night, as the rain persisted, we found ourselves all gathered in the living room listening to Queen quietly, as not to disturb our sleeping daughter, drinking hot chocolate, and just talking about anything and everything.
Except for what brought her to call me.
Truthfully I didn't really care after a while, seeing as she was obviously feeling better. I knew how it felt to be miserable, and I knew how it felt to not want to talk about it. I understood if she was the same way, and respected that, and just was a friend to her.
After a few hours of just hanging out like that, we all decided to finally go to bed. Amber went upstairs to make sure Kitten had everything she needed. She was so maternal. It was cute in that way that Amber was. And I think she enjoyed it too. She enjoyed hosting people. Maybe it ran in her blood…I mean hell her father owned a hotel.
While she was doing that I was checking on Claudette and making sure she was all fine and dandy before I started changing into pajamas and climbing into bed. Amber joined me minutes later, getting in bed and turning to me. Though my eyes were closed I knew from feeling her weight shift on the bed.
"What's wrong with her?"
"Hmm?" I raised an eyebrow without opening my eyes.
"Kitten. She was so…upset, and yet breathed not a word of it to us. Did she say anything in the car?"
I opened my eyes and turned to Amber. "No. Except…" my voice trailed off. "She said something like 'How can you be so nice?' and it caught me off guard…but then she just said how I was too good of a person to deserve things that happen to me."
Amber let out a small laugh. "What'd you say to that?"
"Karma," I wiggled my eyebrows and planted a kiss on Amber's forehead. "Don't worry about it. If anything it gave us something to do today. She's nice let's chill with her for a couple days."
"Alright…but what about when we go back in a couple days?"
"We'll ask if she wants to come."