Thanks for all your comments friends. This fic is done in three parts:
Sophomore year, Junior Year and Senior year. As end I choose a part of a
fic that I wrote: Unmasked, I thought is perfect to the end.. *dancing*
* * * * * * * *
Helena wanted go to a weekend with her friends of High School; but Barbara wasn't convinced yet. The girl insisted her but Barbara was firm in her "no".
"Barbara!" Helena followed her around the Clock Tower, she was almost seventeen and her hair was still long and in a pony tail.
"Helena Don't!" Barbara rolled her eyes.
"Why not?"
"Because you lied to me!"
"I didn't lie to you!"
Barbara stopped the chair and turned it around to face Helena. "Every time you have an opportunity, you lie to me. Why couldn't you trust me?"
Helena avoided her eyes and said in a soft voice. "I didn't lie to you."
"No? Are you sure? What about that tattoo on your lower back?" Barbara asked.
Helena blushed and looked down to her feet while she played with it. "What tattoo?"
The red head crossed her arms and raised her brow. "Turn around please"
"Barbara I didn't lie to you." Helena knew she was trapped.
"Show me your back please."
The girl didn't know what to do, she slowly turned. She had her hands laced behind her back.
"Helena." Barbara glared to her.
"What?"
"Your hands, move them." she moved her index finger.
"My hands?" Helena asked innocently. She moved it and laced it in front of her. Barbara took a deep breath and waited a few seconds. The brunette didn't move.
"Helena" Barbara said softly "you have to raise you blouse as well."
"I don't have a tattoo."
Barbara moved her head and with her hand she raised her blouse, Helena quickly turned around and put her hands on her back. She found the icy glare of Barbara. They both kept silent a few seconds. Barbara felt really upset, she had been trying to be open with her but she wouldn't let her in, she always avoided her. She knew she was hurt and angry because of her mother's murder less than a year ago, but she couldn't help her if she didn't want it. Maybe more than upset she felt frustrated about not being able to help her feel better.
"And?" the red head asked finally.
Helena lowered her head.
"Why did you do that? We've been talking about this. You know that I don't like tattoo's and you promised me you wouldn't do it! What are you trying to prove Helena? That you're mad with your life and your trying to show your disobedience? Are you trying to punish the life, punishing me? Maybe you haven't noticed, but let me remind you, that at this moment I don't have many reasons to feel happy about my life. I'm trapped in this damn wheelchair and it's difficult, really difficult trying to keep going, but I need to fight, I need to fight every day not to surrender, because of me. and because of you."
Helena didn't move, she had her head down. Barbara had a good reason to be mad, she knew she was so unfair with her, but she couldn't avoid being that way, she couldn't avoid rubbing her anger off on Barbara.
"Look at me." Barbara asked with sweet voice. "Please Helena look at me." The girl raised her head and Barbara took her hand "I know that I never could be the way your mother was, but I'm trying to help you, I'm trying to give you a home, I'm trying to give you love, but your avoiding me, you refuse to let me help you. How could I help you if you don't let me in? Let me help you to not feel alone. I know what you have a lot of pain inside..."
"You don't know, you couldn't know" Helena pulled her hand and stepped back, Barbara was trying to enter dangerously near her feelings and she couldn't allow it. "you couldn't know!!!"
"Helena."
"You couldn't!!!" Helena ran to the balcony. Barbara looked after her with sadness, she lowered her head and put her elbows in her legs and covered her head with her hands. It was frustrating trying to help her, she was suffering and she couldn't avoid it. She had been trying to give her the best of her self but that didn't help the girl much.
She took a deep breath, she needed to try something else, she couldn't leave her alone, and she wasn't going to leave her alone.
Barbara wheeled to the balcony looking for her, but the place was empty, it was alone. She had spotted her running there.
Helena sat up near the top of the clock. She followed Barbara with her gaze in the silence. The red head wheeled to the corner. It as impossible, Helena couldn't jump so high. She kept still for a few seconds watching the lights of the city.
"Why don't you come down so we can talk?" Barbara asked suddenly.
"I'm okay here." Helena said in her place, resting her jaw on her knees, she hugged her legs with her arms.
Barbara turned her wheelchair and raised her head to look at her. "I'm not mad at you because of your tattoo."
"Not true."
"I was mad because you don't trust me. You lie to me every time you have an opportunity. This is hard for me too Helena, it isn't easy. you lost your mother I lost my legs."
"Could you stop talking about her please?" Helena replied with angry voice.
"Okay, what do you want to talk about?"
"Nothing."
"Are you unhappy living with me?"
Helena didn't answer, she continued watching the city, her gaze lost in the night.
"I'm sorry. I try to do my best but I'm not good at it, I don't know what to do or what to say to a teen such as yourself. You are younger and surely expected more from me. I understand, I know that its hard to live with some one who can't walk, a disabled person such as myself."
Barbara lowered her head. "The people usually see us as a nuisance or useless because we can't do all the things that you could do. I can't blame you if you think that way, you are younger and need someone with more possibilities than me."
Barbara paused and swallowed, she looked at her legs with sadness and passed one of her hands over them, she moved her hand back and forth slowly. She wished she could feel something but it was impossible.
"A simple thing like going to bed or to the bathroom is a big effort for us." She added with low voice and smiled to her self remembering her first days in the wheelchair. "It cost me a lot, but finally I learned. I can't run, I can't jump. I know that you loved going on walks with Selina and that can I never do it..." Barbara's eyes were moist, she saw a pair of black shoes in front of her; she raised her head. Helena's blue eyes were shining in the night, she looked at her deeply.
"I don't think that you are a nuisance." the girl said softly "I don't think that you're useless. You are amazing, really. Don't despise your self because of me, I'm not worth it. I'm sorry If I make you feel so bad."
"Helena, you worth a lot, don't say that!"
"I don't know what to feel, I don't know what to do. Many days I wake up feeling mad with my self. I run every day from myself, from my feelings, from my anger. and I can't find an exit. I can't find peace in any place. Barbara, it isn't you, it's me. I don't know what to do with myself, with my anger."
"Let me help you."
Helena stepped back. "I can't."
"Do you trust me?."
Helena avoided her look and nodded lightly.
"So let me help you, let me in." Barbara asked taking her hand.
"I can't" she whispered.
"Just let me in Hel."
"Sorry, I can't." Helena pulled her hand softly away and walked to the door.
"Why can't you? Tell me."
Helena stopped and bit her lip trying not cry.
"Please Hel, tell me"
"Because I don't want to love anyone else!" Helena didn't turn, her eyes were fixed on the floor "I don't want to lose other person; I don't want to feel this pain again... If I don't love, I don't feel." Helena walked back inside the Clock Tower. Barbara didn't know what to say, she just watched her disappear behind the door.
* * *
Helena felt disoriented, confused, she felt trapped between open her heart and kept in that way to avoid feel pain again. She didn't know why she felt that anguish inside. She ran with out direction in the streets, she was trying to escape of her own feelings.
Barbara looked for the girl in her Hummer. It was raining and that made it difficult try to find her. She had been to Selina's house; the school; and she had asked Gibson but all was useless. She finally got an idea and pressed the accelerator of the Hummer.
Helena finally got tired, and sat at the floor of an alley. It was raining and cold, but it didn't matter to her. She cried, hugging her legs; she couldn't avoid the image of her mother dying in her arms; suddenly it changed to Barbara's face. The fear of losing some one again was incredibility strong and she couldn't control her emotions. She closed her eyes and buried her face in her legs; soaked and trembling.
"Oh my God! I had been looking for you all night!" she heard Barbara's voice and raised her head. "Leave me alone!" she sobbed.
"Please, come back home." Barbara had found her in the street where her mother had been murdered a months ago.
"I don't have a home." she looked away.
Barbara was in front of her now, she could feel that she tried to touch her but she refused the embrace.
"Please, let me in, I know how you feel." the redhead said.
"No! you don't!" she shouted "You didn't loose your mother! Go away!"
".I not only lost my mother, I lost my father too, and I was even younger than you. I felt like you. like my whole world was broken."
"Leave me alone!" she covered her head with her hands.
"No, I couldn't, you will get sick if you stay here you are too important for me, and if it's necessary I will be here with you all night."
"I can't. I can't love anyone else, I told you, leave me alone." Helena sobbed and rested her forehead on the wet wall and bit her nails, she was cold and was trembling. "I can't."
Barbara continued talking to her "I lost my parents when I was a child, and it hurt me a lot, as you are hurting now. It was hard, so hard. I moved around as much as you, I left my home, my memories, my happy childhood suddenly. I moved to live with an uncle. A lovely uncle that never couldn't replace my parents but he gave me the best of him, all his love. He made me feel that I wasn't alone. That I had a new father."
Barbara touched her shoulder and this time the girl didn't refuse the touch. "I know that I can't help you heal that lost sense that you feel now. I don't want to be your mother, I want just to be your friend. I want you to understand that I love you, that I'm going to do my best to help you. I don't want you to feel that you are alone in this world, I know how much it hurts to loose your parents."
Helena turned her face and looked at her.
"I don't want you to think that you don't have a home." Barbara smiled, "You have one, your home, our home, not the same that we had with our parents but it's ours. You are now my family, please; don't leave me alone, I love you."
Helena jumped in her arms crying desperate "I miss her, I want to see her again! Please, I want to see her!"
"It's impossible, she is dead" Barbara was crying with her "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, if I could bring her back to you, I would, but I can't."
"I can't go on with all this pain, I can't!" she sobbed resting her head on her shoulder "I don't want to feel this way! Please help me, I don't want to feel like this!"
The woman hugged her strongly. Helena felt warmth and comfort in her arms, she felt that she wasn't alone, she felt protected, a feeling that she had missed since her mother had died. But she couldn't give her heart to that that woman, she couldn't.
* * *
Barbara had taken Helena back to Clock Tower after she had found her in the street and almost obliged her to take a shower, the night was freezing and she had been outside, soaked to the bone for many hours. She too took a bath and then left Helena sleeping, she went to her room to rest, it had been a long night.
Helena woke up a few minutes later, she looked around all was silent and dark. Barbara had gone. She stared at the wall for a few seconds, lost in her thoughts she felt alone. She stood up and approached Barbara's bedroom. She stopped in front of the door several minutes looking at the lock; she stepped back, she thought it was a mistake being there. Lowering her head, she walked to her room, but she walked two steps and stopped again. She turned her head looking back at Barbara's room; she didn't know what to do.
Barbara couldn't sleep, she felt so sad for the girl. She heard the door open slowly; she didn't move, she knew it was the girl; a few seconds later she heard the door close, but she didn't hear her steps. Barbara sighed deeply; Helena still didn't trust her, she had returned to her room.
Suddenly she felt a weight on her mattress; the girl really was very silent. Helena maked herself comfortable on a small space of the bed, trying to not annoy Barbara. The red head smiled, she waited a few seconds before she rolled on her side and looked her. Helena had curled herself over the blankets and had her eyes closed, trying to sleep; she looked like a little angel.
Barbara pulled the bedspread that was at the bottom of the mattress over and covered her. Barbara brushed her hair "Good night." she gave her a kiss on her forehead, before turning to the other side.
"Night." Helena said.
Barbara felt better knowing that the girl began to open herself up to Barbara in her way. She had fallen asleep when she heard Helena's soft voice.
"Barbara."
"Mmm?"
"Why do you take care of me?"
"Because you are important to me."
"But..I'm not a part of your family. I'm just a daughter of a friend."
Barbara opened her eyes and turned to look at her. Helena was looking at her with her feral pupils. "You are wrong, you are my family, you aren't just the daughter of a friend; it's not necessary to have the same blood to take care of somebody or to love them, keep that in mind always. You worth so much, don't feel less than anyone"
"Okay. Night." Helena turned her back to her.
"Night." Barbara closed her eyes, she rested her back in the mattress, she felt so tired.
"And what if I don't want you to be my family?" Helena's asked.
"You can go." Barbara said sleepy "but I don't think you would like being back at in Federal custody. You have a certain aversion to the law and rules."
Helena kept silent a few seconds and rolled over, she had her eyelids closed. "And what if I want to go live alone?"
"You are an awful cook." Barbara answered "If you want to commit suicide it's your problem, not mine."
Helena rested her back on the mattress and looked at the ceiling. "Maybe I would come here for breakfast and dinner."
"I'm warning you, I'm not a good cook either." Barbara mumbled.
"So. what have we been eating the last few months?" Helena asked without moving her eyes from the ceiling.
"I buy food, or Alfred help me, but if you leave I wouldn't have the responsibility to feed you anymore. I will start to preparing my marvellous egg sandwiches again."
"I don't like eggs. better keep buying food." Helena played with her fingers, Barbara didn't answer her. The brunette examined the room with her eyes, she'd never been there, it was her first time there, not because Barbara prohibited her from going there, it was because she tried to keep her distance from her mentor.
Barbara was almost asleep when Helena interrupted her with another question "And what happen if I one day I hit you? You will still want to take care of me?"
"Yes." Barbara sighed and rolled to her side "because before you could even touch me, I assure you, you will be lying on the floor, and I will hit you so hard that you never would think of raising your hand against me."
Helena laughed, it was the first time Barbara heard her laughing in the last few months. She smiled. Helena covered her shoulders with the bedspread. "Night." she said.
"Night" Barbara was starting to dream when she heard Helena's voice again.
".Barbara."
"Yes." she said drowsily.
"I love you."
Barbara smiled and turned to hug her and gave a kiss in her head. "I love you too." That night Helena finally opened her self to her, she understood she was her family. A new life started for both.
* * * * * * * *
Helena wanted go to a weekend with her friends of High School; but Barbara wasn't convinced yet. The girl insisted her but Barbara was firm in her "no".
"Barbara!" Helena followed her around the Clock Tower, she was almost seventeen and her hair was still long and in a pony tail.
"Helena Don't!" Barbara rolled her eyes.
"Why not?"
"Because you lied to me!"
"I didn't lie to you!"
Barbara stopped the chair and turned it around to face Helena. "Every time you have an opportunity, you lie to me. Why couldn't you trust me?"
Helena avoided her eyes and said in a soft voice. "I didn't lie to you."
"No? Are you sure? What about that tattoo on your lower back?" Barbara asked.
Helena blushed and looked down to her feet while she played with it. "What tattoo?"
The red head crossed her arms and raised her brow. "Turn around please"
"Barbara I didn't lie to you." Helena knew she was trapped.
"Show me your back please."
The girl didn't know what to do, she slowly turned. She had her hands laced behind her back.
"Helena." Barbara glared to her.
"What?"
"Your hands, move them." she moved her index finger.
"My hands?" Helena asked innocently. She moved it and laced it in front of her. Barbara took a deep breath and waited a few seconds. The brunette didn't move.
"Helena" Barbara said softly "you have to raise you blouse as well."
"I don't have a tattoo."
Barbara moved her head and with her hand she raised her blouse, Helena quickly turned around and put her hands on her back. She found the icy glare of Barbara. They both kept silent a few seconds. Barbara felt really upset, she had been trying to be open with her but she wouldn't let her in, she always avoided her. She knew she was hurt and angry because of her mother's murder less than a year ago, but she couldn't help her if she didn't want it. Maybe more than upset she felt frustrated about not being able to help her feel better.
"And?" the red head asked finally.
Helena lowered her head.
"Why did you do that? We've been talking about this. You know that I don't like tattoo's and you promised me you wouldn't do it! What are you trying to prove Helena? That you're mad with your life and your trying to show your disobedience? Are you trying to punish the life, punishing me? Maybe you haven't noticed, but let me remind you, that at this moment I don't have many reasons to feel happy about my life. I'm trapped in this damn wheelchair and it's difficult, really difficult trying to keep going, but I need to fight, I need to fight every day not to surrender, because of me. and because of you."
Helena didn't move, she had her head down. Barbara had a good reason to be mad, she knew she was so unfair with her, but she couldn't avoid being that way, she couldn't avoid rubbing her anger off on Barbara.
"Look at me." Barbara asked with sweet voice. "Please Helena look at me." The girl raised her head and Barbara took her hand "I know that I never could be the way your mother was, but I'm trying to help you, I'm trying to give you a home, I'm trying to give you love, but your avoiding me, you refuse to let me help you. How could I help you if you don't let me in? Let me help you to not feel alone. I know what you have a lot of pain inside..."
"You don't know, you couldn't know" Helena pulled her hand and stepped back, Barbara was trying to enter dangerously near her feelings and she couldn't allow it. "you couldn't know!!!"
"Helena."
"You couldn't!!!" Helena ran to the balcony. Barbara looked after her with sadness, she lowered her head and put her elbows in her legs and covered her head with her hands. It was frustrating trying to help her, she was suffering and she couldn't avoid it. She had been trying to give her the best of her self but that didn't help the girl much.
She took a deep breath, she needed to try something else, she couldn't leave her alone, and she wasn't going to leave her alone.
Barbara wheeled to the balcony looking for her, but the place was empty, it was alone. She had spotted her running there.
Helena sat up near the top of the clock. She followed Barbara with her gaze in the silence. The red head wheeled to the corner. It as impossible, Helena couldn't jump so high. She kept still for a few seconds watching the lights of the city.
"Why don't you come down so we can talk?" Barbara asked suddenly.
"I'm okay here." Helena said in her place, resting her jaw on her knees, she hugged her legs with her arms.
Barbara turned her wheelchair and raised her head to look at her. "I'm not mad at you because of your tattoo."
"Not true."
"I was mad because you don't trust me. You lie to me every time you have an opportunity. This is hard for me too Helena, it isn't easy. you lost your mother I lost my legs."
"Could you stop talking about her please?" Helena replied with angry voice.
"Okay, what do you want to talk about?"
"Nothing."
"Are you unhappy living with me?"
Helena didn't answer, she continued watching the city, her gaze lost in the night.
"I'm sorry. I try to do my best but I'm not good at it, I don't know what to do or what to say to a teen such as yourself. You are younger and surely expected more from me. I understand, I know that its hard to live with some one who can't walk, a disabled person such as myself."
Barbara lowered her head. "The people usually see us as a nuisance or useless because we can't do all the things that you could do. I can't blame you if you think that way, you are younger and need someone with more possibilities than me."
Barbara paused and swallowed, she looked at her legs with sadness and passed one of her hands over them, she moved her hand back and forth slowly. She wished she could feel something but it was impossible.
"A simple thing like going to bed or to the bathroom is a big effort for us." She added with low voice and smiled to her self remembering her first days in the wheelchair. "It cost me a lot, but finally I learned. I can't run, I can't jump. I know that you loved going on walks with Selina and that can I never do it..." Barbara's eyes were moist, she saw a pair of black shoes in front of her; she raised her head. Helena's blue eyes were shining in the night, she looked at her deeply.
"I don't think that you are a nuisance." the girl said softly "I don't think that you're useless. You are amazing, really. Don't despise your self because of me, I'm not worth it. I'm sorry If I make you feel so bad."
"Helena, you worth a lot, don't say that!"
"I don't know what to feel, I don't know what to do. Many days I wake up feeling mad with my self. I run every day from myself, from my feelings, from my anger. and I can't find an exit. I can't find peace in any place. Barbara, it isn't you, it's me. I don't know what to do with myself, with my anger."
"Let me help you."
Helena stepped back. "I can't."
"Do you trust me?."
Helena avoided her look and nodded lightly.
"So let me help you, let me in." Barbara asked taking her hand.
"I can't" she whispered.
"Just let me in Hel."
"Sorry, I can't." Helena pulled her hand softly away and walked to the door.
"Why can't you? Tell me."
Helena stopped and bit her lip trying not cry.
"Please Hel, tell me"
"Because I don't want to love anyone else!" Helena didn't turn, her eyes were fixed on the floor "I don't want to lose other person; I don't want to feel this pain again... If I don't love, I don't feel." Helena walked back inside the Clock Tower. Barbara didn't know what to say, she just watched her disappear behind the door.
* * *
Helena felt disoriented, confused, she felt trapped between open her heart and kept in that way to avoid feel pain again. She didn't know why she felt that anguish inside. She ran with out direction in the streets, she was trying to escape of her own feelings.
Barbara looked for the girl in her Hummer. It was raining and that made it difficult try to find her. She had been to Selina's house; the school; and she had asked Gibson but all was useless. She finally got an idea and pressed the accelerator of the Hummer.
Helena finally got tired, and sat at the floor of an alley. It was raining and cold, but it didn't matter to her. She cried, hugging her legs; she couldn't avoid the image of her mother dying in her arms; suddenly it changed to Barbara's face. The fear of losing some one again was incredibility strong and she couldn't control her emotions. She closed her eyes and buried her face in her legs; soaked and trembling.
"Oh my God! I had been looking for you all night!" she heard Barbara's voice and raised her head. "Leave me alone!" she sobbed.
"Please, come back home." Barbara had found her in the street where her mother had been murdered a months ago.
"I don't have a home." she looked away.
Barbara was in front of her now, she could feel that she tried to touch her but she refused the embrace.
"Please, let me in, I know how you feel." the redhead said.
"No! you don't!" she shouted "You didn't loose your mother! Go away!"
".I not only lost my mother, I lost my father too, and I was even younger than you. I felt like you. like my whole world was broken."
"Leave me alone!" she covered her head with her hands.
"No, I couldn't, you will get sick if you stay here you are too important for me, and if it's necessary I will be here with you all night."
"I can't. I can't love anyone else, I told you, leave me alone." Helena sobbed and rested her forehead on the wet wall and bit her nails, she was cold and was trembling. "I can't."
Barbara continued talking to her "I lost my parents when I was a child, and it hurt me a lot, as you are hurting now. It was hard, so hard. I moved around as much as you, I left my home, my memories, my happy childhood suddenly. I moved to live with an uncle. A lovely uncle that never couldn't replace my parents but he gave me the best of him, all his love. He made me feel that I wasn't alone. That I had a new father."
Barbara touched her shoulder and this time the girl didn't refuse the touch. "I know that I can't help you heal that lost sense that you feel now. I don't want to be your mother, I want just to be your friend. I want you to understand that I love you, that I'm going to do my best to help you. I don't want you to feel that you are alone in this world, I know how much it hurts to loose your parents."
Helena turned her face and looked at her.
"I don't want you to think that you don't have a home." Barbara smiled, "You have one, your home, our home, not the same that we had with our parents but it's ours. You are now my family, please; don't leave me alone, I love you."
Helena jumped in her arms crying desperate "I miss her, I want to see her again! Please, I want to see her!"
"It's impossible, she is dead" Barbara was crying with her "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, if I could bring her back to you, I would, but I can't."
"I can't go on with all this pain, I can't!" she sobbed resting her head on her shoulder "I don't want to feel this way! Please help me, I don't want to feel like this!"
The woman hugged her strongly. Helena felt warmth and comfort in her arms, she felt that she wasn't alone, she felt protected, a feeling that she had missed since her mother had died. But she couldn't give her heart to that that woman, she couldn't.
* * *
Barbara had taken Helena back to Clock Tower after she had found her in the street and almost obliged her to take a shower, the night was freezing and she had been outside, soaked to the bone for many hours. She too took a bath and then left Helena sleeping, she went to her room to rest, it had been a long night.
Helena woke up a few minutes later, she looked around all was silent and dark. Barbara had gone. She stared at the wall for a few seconds, lost in her thoughts she felt alone. She stood up and approached Barbara's bedroom. She stopped in front of the door several minutes looking at the lock; she stepped back, she thought it was a mistake being there. Lowering her head, she walked to her room, but she walked two steps and stopped again. She turned her head looking back at Barbara's room; she didn't know what to do.
Barbara couldn't sleep, she felt so sad for the girl. She heard the door open slowly; she didn't move, she knew it was the girl; a few seconds later she heard the door close, but she didn't hear her steps. Barbara sighed deeply; Helena still didn't trust her, she had returned to her room.
Suddenly she felt a weight on her mattress; the girl really was very silent. Helena maked herself comfortable on a small space of the bed, trying to not annoy Barbara. The red head smiled, she waited a few seconds before she rolled on her side and looked her. Helena had curled herself over the blankets and had her eyes closed, trying to sleep; she looked like a little angel.
Barbara pulled the bedspread that was at the bottom of the mattress over and covered her. Barbara brushed her hair "Good night." she gave her a kiss on her forehead, before turning to the other side.
"Night." Helena said.
Barbara felt better knowing that the girl began to open herself up to Barbara in her way. She had fallen asleep when she heard Helena's soft voice.
"Barbara."
"Mmm?"
"Why do you take care of me?"
"Because you are important to me."
"But..I'm not a part of your family. I'm just a daughter of a friend."
Barbara opened her eyes and turned to look at her. Helena was looking at her with her feral pupils. "You are wrong, you are my family, you aren't just the daughter of a friend; it's not necessary to have the same blood to take care of somebody or to love them, keep that in mind always. You worth so much, don't feel less than anyone"
"Okay. Night." Helena turned her back to her.
"Night." Barbara closed her eyes, she rested her back in the mattress, she felt so tired.
"And what if I don't want you to be my family?" Helena's asked.
"You can go." Barbara said sleepy "but I don't think you would like being back at in Federal custody. You have a certain aversion to the law and rules."
Helena kept silent a few seconds and rolled over, she had her eyelids closed. "And what if I want to go live alone?"
"You are an awful cook." Barbara answered "If you want to commit suicide it's your problem, not mine."
Helena rested her back on the mattress and looked at the ceiling. "Maybe I would come here for breakfast and dinner."
"I'm warning you, I'm not a good cook either." Barbara mumbled.
"So. what have we been eating the last few months?" Helena asked without moving her eyes from the ceiling.
"I buy food, or Alfred help me, but if you leave I wouldn't have the responsibility to feed you anymore. I will start to preparing my marvellous egg sandwiches again."
"I don't like eggs. better keep buying food." Helena played with her fingers, Barbara didn't answer her. The brunette examined the room with her eyes, she'd never been there, it was her first time there, not because Barbara prohibited her from going there, it was because she tried to keep her distance from her mentor.
Barbara was almost asleep when Helena interrupted her with another question "And what happen if I one day I hit you? You will still want to take care of me?"
"Yes." Barbara sighed and rolled to her side "because before you could even touch me, I assure you, you will be lying on the floor, and I will hit you so hard that you never would think of raising your hand against me."
Helena laughed, it was the first time Barbara heard her laughing in the last few months. She smiled. Helena covered her shoulders with the bedspread. "Night." she said.
"Night" Barbara was starting to dream when she heard Helena's voice again.
".Barbara."
"Yes." she said drowsily.
"I love you."
Barbara smiled and turned to hug her and gave a kiss in her head. "I love you too." That night Helena finally opened her self to her, she understood she was her family. A new life started for both.