A/N - Okay - forgot the disclaimer last time, but then again, ya'll know
that the story and most people in it belong to S.E. Hinton.
Ponyboy's P.O.V.
After the football game was over (we won), Soda, Steve, and the guys decided to start up another game in the lot by the high school. I wanted to play this time, but knew I would probably be the one voted into walking Stephi home. I was busy trying to come up with a reason for her to stay when Johnny said, "I don't much feel like playing today. Stephi, you want me to walk you home?"
"Sure. I need to do some laundry," she answered. I thought I saw her wink at Johnny, but didn't put much thought into it. I was just glad I could stay and play football. I had all this energy to burn and was chomping at the bit for a good football game.
We had enough guys to play six on six. Darry was on my team and I was glad about that. He played football throughout high school and I sure didn't want him hitting me. He was like a bulldozer on the field and didn't seem to care if it was his brother he was hitting or not.
We had a rough game, but everyone was having fun. My team was up by 13 at half time. It was such a great day and I still felt so exhilarated, that I decided to run home and grab a few sodas to bring back. After running about two of the four blocks, though, I had to slow down to a jog. I really am going to have to lay off the cigarettes before track starts, I thought to myself. Thank goodness it's a few months away, though. I am a weed fiend and was, even at that point, wondering if I would have time for one after I got back with the sodas.
When I came through the back door, I didn't even notice that the washing machine wasn't on. Looking back now, maybe that would have given me a clue as to what would happen next, but then again, maybe not. It was just a total surprise.
I grabbed the last five sodas from the fridge and decided I had better get a bag to put them in to carry them. I walked over to the cabinet and pulled out a paper grocery bag and started filling it up. It was then that I happened to glance into the front room. There, on the couch, were Stephi and Johnny, making out. Both had their shirts off, in a pile on the floor beside the couch, although Stephi still had her bra on. They were lying down on the couch with Stephi on the bottom and their legs were intertwined. Stephi's hands were rubbing Johnny's chest and back. Johnny had one hand under Stephi, with his hand in her hair at the back of her head and the other caressing her breast. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, but I also couldn't look away. I knew I should. Johnny and Stephi had kind of been seeing each other, but I never thought of them kissing. I couldn't believe Johnny hadn't said anything to me. But then again, why would he? Stephi is my sister. It just seemed wrong to me.
Just then, Johnny moved his head down to kiss Stephi's neck and she made a low moan. That broke me out of my trance and I suddenly dropped the last soda that hadn't made it into the bag yet. They both turned to look at me at the same time. Johnny sat straight up and Stephi grabbed her shirt off the floor and struggled to get it on. "Pony." she cried, but it was too late. I was out of there in a flash, leaving the bag of sodas on the floor. I ran hard all the way back to the high school and this time, I didn't even think about stopping to catch my breath.
As I slowed to a stop by the guys, most of whom were lounging on the grass, Steve looked at me and asked, "Where's the sodas, dumbshit?"
"Oh, um, I don't know," I answered, totally flustered by the question.
"Ponyboy, you went home to get sodas. Where are they?" asked Darry.
"I don't know. I guess I just forgot," I replied, and I could feel my face turning red. "Come on. Let's just play."
Soda got up and was looking at me oddly, so I turned away and hurriedly grabbed the football. Then I dropped it. The rest of the game went like that - I couldn't hold on to the ball to save my life. Darry yelled at me throughout the game, but no matter what he said, I couldn't get the image of Stephi and Johnny out of my head. Don't get me wrong; I've seen guys and girls make out before. Some of the parties I've been to, people get so drunk and stoned that they don't care what they do in front of other people. Course that's usually the sleazy girls like Sylvia. Not my sister. And my best friend. Together. I really thought I should have been pissed off at Johnny, but I wasn't. I wasn't happy, but I wasn't pissed either.
Anyway, we lost the game because of me. Darry was all over me, but I just shrugged him off. I sure didn't want to tell him what I saw. Darry would kick Johnny up one side of the street and down the other. I didn't want to tell Soda, either, so when he asked me if there was something wrong, I lied and said, "No."
When we got home, Johnny was nowhere to be found. Stephi had a load of laundry in the machine, chili cooking on the stove, and had straightened up the front room. She had also put my sodas back in the fridge. She was in her room, reading a book. Soda walked in to our room to get clothes for after his shower and I followed. The door for her room is straight across from ours, and she glanced up to say hi when we walked by, but her eyes went right back to the book. She wouldn't even look at me. Darry beat Soda to the bathroom, so he horsed around with me for a minute before deciding to go watch TV. I followed again, because I didn't know what to say to Stephi, but not before I noticed that she had been reading the same page over and over.
When Darry got out of the shower, he decided to run to the store for some crackers to go with our chili, and a few other things we needed. Soda got in the bathroom. He had a date that night with Sandy, so I know it'd be at least half an hour before I could get in there. I had some homework to do, but decided just to keep watching TV 'cuz I didn't want to face Stephi yet.
About 15 minutes later, Stephi came in and sat on the other end of the couch from me. I watched her all the way, but she didn't look at me once. After a several minutes of staring blankly at the TV, she started, "Pony."
She finally looked up at me. "Pony, please don't say anything to Darry. Please. I couldn't stand it if he knew. Just. you can't tell him. No telling what he'd do to Johnny. Johnny's scared to death he'll find out. You have to promise not to say anything. Please, promise me," she begged.
"Okay, I promise, but, Stephi."
Just then Darry walked in with the grocery bag in his arm. "Hey there Stephers. Watcha makin' Pony promise?"
"Oh, just that he'll do the dishes for me tonight," she lied. I'd never seen her lie to Darry. Then again, maybe I had.
She followed Darry to the kitchen to help him put away the groceries. After Soda got out of the shower, we sat down to dinner. Soda kept us all entertained with some tale about him and Steve at the bowling alley the night before. It's a good thing he was so chatty, 'cuz I didn't feel like talking. After dinner, Stephi reminded me I was going to do the dishes for her. Great, I thought, I still had to shower before we were supposed to meet Dally and Johnny for the movie.
About forty-five minutes later, Stephi and I were ready to go. Soda had already left, but we had to get the standard lecture from Darry.
"Okay, you two. I want you home by 11:00," he started.
"Eleven?" I interrupted. "Darry, the movie gets out at 11:00. Come on."
"All right - midnight and no later. But you go straight to the movies and that's it. Nowhere else. Pony, you don't let your sister out of your sight. After what happened this week, I want the two of you to stick together like glue. Okay?"
"Whatever," I said.
"Ponyboy, okay?" he came back.
"Okay."
"Stephi?"
"Yes, Darry," she replied.
We headed out to meet Johnny and Dally. We walked a block in silence, and I finally decided to talk to Stephi about Johnny. "Stephi, about you and Johnny."
"Pony," she interrupted, "let's just have a good time tonight. We'll forget about this and talk about it tomorrow, okay? I just want to enjoy the night."
"Well, okay, but Stephi."
"Tomorrow. Look, there they are." Dally and Johnny were waiting for Stephi and me under the street light at the corner of Pickett and Sutton, and since we got there early, we had time to go over to the drugstore in the shopping center and goof around. Yeah, I know Darry said not to go anywhere else, but it wasn't the first time I broke one of his 'commandments' and I'm sure it won't be the last. Johnny didn't say anything to me and kept glancing at me from under his long bangs. No one seemed to notice, though, 'cuz he's pretty quiet anyway. I did see him whisper something to Stephi. He looked pretty relieved when she shook her head for no.
Johnny's P.O.V.
Good, I thought to myself, a little weight lifted off my shoulders. Pony hadn't said anything to Darry about finding me and Stephi on the couch. I knew that I would have to talk to him about Stephi, and I sure wasn't looking forward to that one.
We left the drugstore after Dally lifted a few packs of Kools. Man, he was slick. He started telling Stephi a story as we crossed the street and I found myself walking next to Ponyboy. Well, here goes nothing.
"Ponyboy, you, uh, you didn't say anything to Darry, did'ya?" I asked.
"No."
"Thanks, man. Pony, I want to talk to you about Stephi." Just then Dally called us up to him.
"Later," Pony told me.
We walked over to the Dingo and talked to several people hanging out there, but left when a fight broke out. Darry would kill all of us for being there if the cops showed. We snuck into the movie over the fence, then found some seats. The only people in the seats were two Socy girls sitting down front. Of course, Dally went right behind them and started in on them - talking dirty and trying to get Pony to play along. He just sat there and kept his mouth shut, looking a little embarrassed. I took Stephi with me to get some Cokes.
When we got back, Dally was gone and Pony was chatting with the Soc girls. I was enjoying the movie and enjoying being there with Stephi, when Dally came back with Cokes for the girls.
He started right in again on the redhead and I about fell out of my chair when she threw her Coke back in his face. He tried to put her arm around her just then, and I caught a glimpse of her face. I'm not sure if it was fear, contempt, hatred, or what it was - but something flashed in her eyes just then and I stood up.
"Leave her alone, Dally."
Did that just come from me? Nobody talks to Dally like that. Oh, what was I thinking? I wasn't thinking, but I knew that he was not treating her right and I didn't want to see him be like that. I respect Dally a lot. He's a tough old greaser, but he knows how to keep his cool in any situation. I've never seen him blow up and I've never seen him scared. I've seen him madder than hell, but he handles himself calmly and coolly. He makes everything seem easy. I hope I can be like that someday - calm and cool and never scared. I'm tired of being scared.
"Huh?" he said, looking at me in disbelief. I took a deep breath and repeated myself. I wasn't scared that Dally would hit me or anything like that. I didn't think he'd do that. I just didn't want him to be mad at me. I would hate it if he were mad at me. It worked, though. Dally got up, tossing his chair over as he did, and stormed out of there. Stephi and Pony stared at me in disbelief. Oh man, I thought to myself, did I just do the right thing? The look of relief on the redhead's face let me know that I did.
Pony about came unglued when they asked us to sit with them - he was grinning from ear to ear, no doubt planning the story he would tell about it later. I was game for helping him out - he seemed to really be getting along with the redhead (not like he really had a chance with a Soc, though) - and agreed to move up there. He and the redhead, Cherry, kept on their conversation, while her friend, Marcia, Stephi and I settled into our seats to watch the movie.
Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder and heard a deep, curt voice - "Okay, greasers, you've had it."
Oh shit. Not again. Not another Soc. I clenched the chair arm and Stephi's hand. Thoughts ran through my head - where is my blade? Can I really use it? Yeah, I've been carrying it since I got jumped months ago, but hadn't ever really thought that I would have to use it on somebody. Everything went white and all I could hear was that kind of static noise that you get when the TV stays on after the shows are over for the day. I couldn't breathe. Somehow, through it all, I heard Ponyboy say the name "Two-Bit." My eyes focused. It really was just Two-Bit. He was ruffling my hair and telling me sorry. I gasped and took a deep breath. The air rushed in like I hadn't taken a breath in days. I let go of the chair and eased up on Steph's hand. She squeezed back. I was gonna be okay. A few more deep breaths, and I was able to hear the conversation again. Two-Bit and Marcia were chatting it up and laughing and Two-Bit asked me some dumb question about camels or something.
I smarted off to him about wisecrackin' greasers. I was kind of mad at him. I didn't like to be scared like that. He just grinned goofily at me. How can you stay mad at him?
We ended up offering to take the girls home from the movies. Walking to Two-Bits's house to get his car, from the theater, however, proved to be interesting. The first time the blue Mustang went by, I thought to myself - I know that car. But then again, it can't be, can it? There has to be more than one blue Mustang in all of Tulsa. There has to be lots, right?
But then they pulled up and got out. The first thing I noticed was the rings. I didn't even have to see his face. It was him. I looked up and caught his eye. Those same icy, hateful eyes. I looked around and realized that three others in the car had been there that day too. Not the dark-haired guy that was pleading with Marcia, though. My thoughts immediately went to my switchblade for the second time that night. This time I knew I could use it. Nobody was ever going to hurt me like that again. Nobody was going to hurt my friends like that, either.
Two-Bit pushed Stephi back behind him, busted open a bottle and handed it to Pony, then pulled his switch from his pocket and flipped it open. I was frozen. All I could think about was pulling my blade, but I couldn't move. Then it happened again - everything was white and the noise was back. That was what happened when my dad would hit me. I was able to drown out his voice that way. I wasn't able to feel the blows if I had the noise and the whiteness. It was like it wasn't really me there, getting beat up. Before I knew it, the world flashed back at me and Cherry was climbing into the car with the guys and they were leaving.
We walked home in silence. I was glad, because I didn't think I could talk if I tried. My ears still had a slight buzzing noise in the background and my heart continued to pound. I had hoped I would never see those guys again in my life. I didn't know now what would happen if I did see them again. I had my chance to pull my blade on them and get revenge, and I couldn't move. What would happen if I was confronted again? Would I be able to protect myself? To protect my friends?
We got to the park and Pony and I decided to stay and have a smoke before going on home. Two-Bit was headed off to play find a poker game and some more booze. "Come on gorgeous (Two-Bit's pet name for most blondes), I'll walk you home," he said, holding out an arm to Stephi. "See ya'll tomorrow."
Stephi said goodbye and left with Two-Bit, laughing at some secret he shared with her. Pony and I sat at the park for a few more minutes, then walked on to the vacant lot, where we stretched out on our backs and looked at the stars. Pony was quiet, but I thought I knew what he was thinking about - Cherry.
"It's because we're greasers. We could have hurt her reputation." I've seen it all my life. Being looked down upon and treated like dirt just because we had no money and we lived on the wrong side of town. It's not fair. It's not fair that we have little to no chance in life. It's not fair that they have more money than they know what to do with it. And while I'm at it - it's not fair that my parent's hate me.
Thinking about my parent's made my head hurt. I couldn't wait to get out of that house. Lately, it was all I could think of. I planned day and night. I knew I had to save up some more money. I was sure I would have to drop out of school. I had to tiptoe around my own house. I tried my best to be quiet and stay in the background. I didn't know from one day to another what it would be that would set them off, so I tried to stay away. It didn't really matter, though. It seemed I could do nothing right. My mom never hit me, but also never had a kind word for me. I can't even remember the last time she said something to me that wasn't a put down or a command. It must have been before she started drinking. My dad just usually paid no attention to me. Most days, I could do jumping jacks right in front of his face, and he wouldn't notice. But then again, the one day I would be sitting at the kitchen table, eating a sandwich and not making a single sound, he would come storming in and belt me upside the head for no reason at all. At least for no reason that I could see. He was always ranting on about something, but I had gotten good at tuning him out.
The more I thought about my parents, the madder I got. I couldn't take living there for much longer. I had only spoken to Ponyboy about my parents once - about 4 years ago. I never told anyone about what I lived through at my house. I think most everyone knew how bad it was, but it was just an unspoken reality. No one could do anything about it anyway. I decided to say something to Pony. I knew he could keep a secret.
"I can't take much more. I'll kill myself or something."
Pony sat up and stared at me. I don't think he realized how bad it was for me. He pleaded with me not to do that. I knew that wasn't the right option, but sometimes it felt like the only way out of here. The only way to get away from my parents. The only way to get away from Socs. The only way .
I must have dozed off listening to Pony rattle on about the country. Boy, I sure did want to go there someday. The country was a place I could get away from everything that haunted me. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. It was quiet. Pony had stopped talking. I looked over at him and noticed that he was asleep, too. Oh man, Darry is probably pissed off right now. He keeps a tight leash on Pony. I didn't have a watch on, but I knew it had to be late, much later than Pony's curfew. I woke him up and told him he needed to go home. Gosh, he looked a little scared at the thought of it.
I decided to stay. Not that anyone cared. I knew that if I came home now and woke somebody up, I'd catch it. If I just waited 'til tomorrow morning, it would be better. I had learned that from experience. I was glad to hear Pony offer up his house, but thought I'd save that for a last resort. I already felt like I owed the Curtis' so much. I felt bad mooching off them all the time. I just never wanted to wear out my welcome there. I knew in my heart that that would never happen, but I still felt bad about it.
Karlei - Thanks once again. I am so glad there are people that like it and are reading it.
DallysGirl4Life - I do too, but unfortunately, we all know where this is going. Poor, poor Johnny. Thanks for reading.
Pony's Girl - Thanks much for the encouragement. Glad you're liking it.
Summer - That was lovely - thank you. I'm glad you like it and I'm not too concerned about those that don't, either. I'm sure it's not for everyone, but (thankfully for me) some people like it. Keep reading.
TwoBitGortez - Thanks for the nice review. I'm glad you enjoyed it, because I've enjoyed your stories!
Ponyboy's P.O.V.
After the football game was over (we won), Soda, Steve, and the guys decided to start up another game in the lot by the high school. I wanted to play this time, but knew I would probably be the one voted into walking Stephi home. I was busy trying to come up with a reason for her to stay when Johnny said, "I don't much feel like playing today. Stephi, you want me to walk you home?"
"Sure. I need to do some laundry," she answered. I thought I saw her wink at Johnny, but didn't put much thought into it. I was just glad I could stay and play football. I had all this energy to burn and was chomping at the bit for a good football game.
We had enough guys to play six on six. Darry was on my team and I was glad about that. He played football throughout high school and I sure didn't want him hitting me. He was like a bulldozer on the field and didn't seem to care if it was his brother he was hitting or not.
We had a rough game, but everyone was having fun. My team was up by 13 at half time. It was such a great day and I still felt so exhilarated, that I decided to run home and grab a few sodas to bring back. After running about two of the four blocks, though, I had to slow down to a jog. I really am going to have to lay off the cigarettes before track starts, I thought to myself. Thank goodness it's a few months away, though. I am a weed fiend and was, even at that point, wondering if I would have time for one after I got back with the sodas.
When I came through the back door, I didn't even notice that the washing machine wasn't on. Looking back now, maybe that would have given me a clue as to what would happen next, but then again, maybe not. It was just a total surprise.
I grabbed the last five sodas from the fridge and decided I had better get a bag to put them in to carry them. I walked over to the cabinet and pulled out a paper grocery bag and started filling it up. It was then that I happened to glance into the front room. There, on the couch, were Stephi and Johnny, making out. Both had their shirts off, in a pile on the floor beside the couch, although Stephi still had her bra on. They were lying down on the couch with Stephi on the bottom and their legs were intertwined. Stephi's hands were rubbing Johnny's chest and back. Johnny had one hand under Stephi, with his hand in her hair at the back of her head and the other caressing her breast. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, but I also couldn't look away. I knew I should. Johnny and Stephi had kind of been seeing each other, but I never thought of them kissing. I couldn't believe Johnny hadn't said anything to me. But then again, why would he? Stephi is my sister. It just seemed wrong to me.
Just then, Johnny moved his head down to kiss Stephi's neck and she made a low moan. That broke me out of my trance and I suddenly dropped the last soda that hadn't made it into the bag yet. They both turned to look at me at the same time. Johnny sat straight up and Stephi grabbed her shirt off the floor and struggled to get it on. "Pony." she cried, but it was too late. I was out of there in a flash, leaving the bag of sodas on the floor. I ran hard all the way back to the high school and this time, I didn't even think about stopping to catch my breath.
As I slowed to a stop by the guys, most of whom were lounging on the grass, Steve looked at me and asked, "Where's the sodas, dumbshit?"
"Oh, um, I don't know," I answered, totally flustered by the question.
"Ponyboy, you went home to get sodas. Where are they?" asked Darry.
"I don't know. I guess I just forgot," I replied, and I could feel my face turning red. "Come on. Let's just play."
Soda got up and was looking at me oddly, so I turned away and hurriedly grabbed the football. Then I dropped it. The rest of the game went like that - I couldn't hold on to the ball to save my life. Darry yelled at me throughout the game, but no matter what he said, I couldn't get the image of Stephi and Johnny out of my head. Don't get me wrong; I've seen guys and girls make out before. Some of the parties I've been to, people get so drunk and stoned that they don't care what they do in front of other people. Course that's usually the sleazy girls like Sylvia. Not my sister. And my best friend. Together. I really thought I should have been pissed off at Johnny, but I wasn't. I wasn't happy, but I wasn't pissed either.
Anyway, we lost the game because of me. Darry was all over me, but I just shrugged him off. I sure didn't want to tell him what I saw. Darry would kick Johnny up one side of the street and down the other. I didn't want to tell Soda, either, so when he asked me if there was something wrong, I lied and said, "No."
When we got home, Johnny was nowhere to be found. Stephi had a load of laundry in the machine, chili cooking on the stove, and had straightened up the front room. She had also put my sodas back in the fridge. She was in her room, reading a book. Soda walked in to our room to get clothes for after his shower and I followed. The door for her room is straight across from ours, and she glanced up to say hi when we walked by, but her eyes went right back to the book. She wouldn't even look at me. Darry beat Soda to the bathroom, so he horsed around with me for a minute before deciding to go watch TV. I followed again, because I didn't know what to say to Stephi, but not before I noticed that she had been reading the same page over and over.
When Darry got out of the shower, he decided to run to the store for some crackers to go with our chili, and a few other things we needed. Soda got in the bathroom. He had a date that night with Sandy, so I know it'd be at least half an hour before I could get in there. I had some homework to do, but decided just to keep watching TV 'cuz I didn't want to face Stephi yet.
About 15 minutes later, Stephi came in and sat on the other end of the couch from me. I watched her all the way, but she didn't look at me once. After a several minutes of staring blankly at the TV, she started, "Pony."
She finally looked up at me. "Pony, please don't say anything to Darry. Please. I couldn't stand it if he knew. Just. you can't tell him. No telling what he'd do to Johnny. Johnny's scared to death he'll find out. You have to promise not to say anything. Please, promise me," she begged.
"Okay, I promise, but, Stephi."
Just then Darry walked in with the grocery bag in his arm. "Hey there Stephers. Watcha makin' Pony promise?"
"Oh, just that he'll do the dishes for me tonight," she lied. I'd never seen her lie to Darry. Then again, maybe I had.
She followed Darry to the kitchen to help him put away the groceries. After Soda got out of the shower, we sat down to dinner. Soda kept us all entertained with some tale about him and Steve at the bowling alley the night before. It's a good thing he was so chatty, 'cuz I didn't feel like talking. After dinner, Stephi reminded me I was going to do the dishes for her. Great, I thought, I still had to shower before we were supposed to meet Dally and Johnny for the movie.
About forty-five minutes later, Stephi and I were ready to go. Soda had already left, but we had to get the standard lecture from Darry.
"Okay, you two. I want you home by 11:00," he started.
"Eleven?" I interrupted. "Darry, the movie gets out at 11:00. Come on."
"All right - midnight and no later. But you go straight to the movies and that's it. Nowhere else. Pony, you don't let your sister out of your sight. After what happened this week, I want the two of you to stick together like glue. Okay?"
"Whatever," I said.
"Ponyboy, okay?" he came back.
"Okay."
"Stephi?"
"Yes, Darry," she replied.
We headed out to meet Johnny and Dally. We walked a block in silence, and I finally decided to talk to Stephi about Johnny. "Stephi, about you and Johnny."
"Pony," she interrupted, "let's just have a good time tonight. We'll forget about this and talk about it tomorrow, okay? I just want to enjoy the night."
"Well, okay, but Stephi."
"Tomorrow. Look, there they are." Dally and Johnny were waiting for Stephi and me under the street light at the corner of Pickett and Sutton, and since we got there early, we had time to go over to the drugstore in the shopping center and goof around. Yeah, I know Darry said not to go anywhere else, but it wasn't the first time I broke one of his 'commandments' and I'm sure it won't be the last. Johnny didn't say anything to me and kept glancing at me from under his long bangs. No one seemed to notice, though, 'cuz he's pretty quiet anyway. I did see him whisper something to Stephi. He looked pretty relieved when she shook her head for no.
Johnny's P.O.V.
Good, I thought to myself, a little weight lifted off my shoulders. Pony hadn't said anything to Darry about finding me and Stephi on the couch. I knew that I would have to talk to him about Stephi, and I sure wasn't looking forward to that one.
We left the drugstore after Dally lifted a few packs of Kools. Man, he was slick. He started telling Stephi a story as we crossed the street and I found myself walking next to Ponyboy. Well, here goes nothing.
"Ponyboy, you, uh, you didn't say anything to Darry, did'ya?" I asked.
"No."
"Thanks, man. Pony, I want to talk to you about Stephi." Just then Dally called us up to him.
"Later," Pony told me.
We walked over to the Dingo and talked to several people hanging out there, but left when a fight broke out. Darry would kill all of us for being there if the cops showed. We snuck into the movie over the fence, then found some seats. The only people in the seats were two Socy girls sitting down front. Of course, Dally went right behind them and started in on them - talking dirty and trying to get Pony to play along. He just sat there and kept his mouth shut, looking a little embarrassed. I took Stephi with me to get some Cokes.
When we got back, Dally was gone and Pony was chatting with the Soc girls. I was enjoying the movie and enjoying being there with Stephi, when Dally came back with Cokes for the girls.
He started right in again on the redhead and I about fell out of my chair when she threw her Coke back in his face. He tried to put her arm around her just then, and I caught a glimpse of her face. I'm not sure if it was fear, contempt, hatred, or what it was - but something flashed in her eyes just then and I stood up.
"Leave her alone, Dally."
Did that just come from me? Nobody talks to Dally like that. Oh, what was I thinking? I wasn't thinking, but I knew that he was not treating her right and I didn't want to see him be like that. I respect Dally a lot. He's a tough old greaser, but he knows how to keep his cool in any situation. I've never seen him blow up and I've never seen him scared. I've seen him madder than hell, but he handles himself calmly and coolly. He makes everything seem easy. I hope I can be like that someday - calm and cool and never scared. I'm tired of being scared.
"Huh?" he said, looking at me in disbelief. I took a deep breath and repeated myself. I wasn't scared that Dally would hit me or anything like that. I didn't think he'd do that. I just didn't want him to be mad at me. I would hate it if he were mad at me. It worked, though. Dally got up, tossing his chair over as he did, and stormed out of there. Stephi and Pony stared at me in disbelief. Oh man, I thought to myself, did I just do the right thing? The look of relief on the redhead's face let me know that I did.
Pony about came unglued when they asked us to sit with them - he was grinning from ear to ear, no doubt planning the story he would tell about it later. I was game for helping him out - he seemed to really be getting along with the redhead (not like he really had a chance with a Soc, though) - and agreed to move up there. He and the redhead, Cherry, kept on their conversation, while her friend, Marcia, Stephi and I settled into our seats to watch the movie.
Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder and heard a deep, curt voice - "Okay, greasers, you've had it."
Oh shit. Not again. Not another Soc. I clenched the chair arm and Stephi's hand. Thoughts ran through my head - where is my blade? Can I really use it? Yeah, I've been carrying it since I got jumped months ago, but hadn't ever really thought that I would have to use it on somebody. Everything went white and all I could hear was that kind of static noise that you get when the TV stays on after the shows are over for the day. I couldn't breathe. Somehow, through it all, I heard Ponyboy say the name "Two-Bit." My eyes focused. It really was just Two-Bit. He was ruffling my hair and telling me sorry. I gasped and took a deep breath. The air rushed in like I hadn't taken a breath in days. I let go of the chair and eased up on Steph's hand. She squeezed back. I was gonna be okay. A few more deep breaths, and I was able to hear the conversation again. Two-Bit and Marcia were chatting it up and laughing and Two-Bit asked me some dumb question about camels or something.
I smarted off to him about wisecrackin' greasers. I was kind of mad at him. I didn't like to be scared like that. He just grinned goofily at me. How can you stay mad at him?
We ended up offering to take the girls home from the movies. Walking to Two-Bits's house to get his car, from the theater, however, proved to be interesting. The first time the blue Mustang went by, I thought to myself - I know that car. But then again, it can't be, can it? There has to be more than one blue Mustang in all of Tulsa. There has to be lots, right?
But then they pulled up and got out. The first thing I noticed was the rings. I didn't even have to see his face. It was him. I looked up and caught his eye. Those same icy, hateful eyes. I looked around and realized that three others in the car had been there that day too. Not the dark-haired guy that was pleading with Marcia, though. My thoughts immediately went to my switchblade for the second time that night. This time I knew I could use it. Nobody was ever going to hurt me like that again. Nobody was going to hurt my friends like that, either.
Two-Bit pushed Stephi back behind him, busted open a bottle and handed it to Pony, then pulled his switch from his pocket and flipped it open. I was frozen. All I could think about was pulling my blade, but I couldn't move. Then it happened again - everything was white and the noise was back. That was what happened when my dad would hit me. I was able to drown out his voice that way. I wasn't able to feel the blows if I had the noise and the whiteness. It was like it wasn't really me there, getting beat up. Before I knew it, the world flashed back at me and Cherry was climbing into the car with the guys and they were leaving.
We walked home in silence. I was glad, because I didn't think I could talk if I tried. My ears still had a slight buzzing noise in the background and my heart continued to pound. I had hoped I would never see those guys again in my life. I didn't know now what would happen if I did see them again. I had my chance to pull my blade on them and get revenge, and I couldn't move. What would happen if I was confronted again? Would I be able to protect myself? To protect my friends?
We got to the park and Pony and I decided to stay and have a smoke before going on home. Two-Bit was headed off to play find a poker game and some more booze. "Come on gorgeous (Two-Bit's pet name for most blondes), I'll walk you home," he said, holding out an arm to Stephi. "See ya'll tomorrow."
Stephi said goodbye and left with Two-Bit, laughing at some secret he shared with her. Pony and I sat at the park for a few more minutes, then walked on to the vacant lot, where we stretched out on our backs and looked at the stars. Pony was quiet, but I thought I knew what he was thinking about - Cherry.
"It's because we're greasers. We could have hurt her reputation." I've seen it all my life. Being looked down upon and treated like dirt just because we had no money and we lived on the wrong side of town. It's not fair. It's not fair that we have little to no chance in life. It's not fair that they have more money than they know what to do with it. And while I'm at it - it's not fair that my parent's hate me.
Thinking about my parent's made my head hurt. I couldn't wait to get out of that house. Lately, it was all I could think of. I planned day and night. I knew I had to save up some more money. I was sure I would have to drop out of school. I had to tiptoe around my own house. I tried my best to be quiet and stay in the background. I didn't know from one day to another what it would be that would set them off, so I tried to stay away. It didn't really matter, though. It seemed I could do nothing right. My mom never hit me, but also never had a kind word for me. I can't even remember the last time she said something to me that wasn't a put down or a command. It must have been before she started drinking. My dad just usually paid no attention to me. Most days, I could do jumping jacks right in front of his face, and he wouldn't notice. But then again, the one day I would be sitting at the kitchen table, eating a sandwich and not making a single sound, he would come storming in and belt me upside the head for no reason at all. At least for no reason that I could see. He was always ranting on about something, but I had gotten good at tuning him out.
The more I thought about my parents, the madder I got. I couldn't take living there for much longer. I had only spoken to Ponyboy about my parents once - about 4 years ago. I never told anyone about what I lived through at my house. I think most everyone knew how bad it was, but it was just an unspoken reality. No one could do anything about it anyway. I decided to say something to Pony. I knew he could keep a secret.
"I can't take much more. I'll kill myself or something."
Pony sat up and stared at me. I don't think he realized how bad it was for me. He pleaded with me not to do that. I knew that wasn't the right option, but sometimes it felt like the only way out of here. The only way to get away from my parents. The only way to get away from Socs. The only way .
I must have dozed off listening to Pony rattle on about the country. Boy, I sure did want to go there someday. The country was a place I could get away from everything that haunted me. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. It was quiet. Pony had stopped talking. I looked over at him and noticed that he was asleep, too. Oh man, Darry is probably pissed off right now. He keeps a tight leash on Pony. I didn't have a watch on, but I knew it had to be late, much later than Pony's curfew. I woke him up and told him he needed to go home. Gosh, he looked a little scared at the thought of it.
I decided to stay. Not that anyone cared. I knew that if I came home now and woke somebody up, I'd catch it. If I just waited 'til tomorrow morning, it would be better. I had learned that from experience. I was glad to hear Pony offer up his house, but thought I'd save that for a last resort. I already felt like I owed the Curtis' so much. I felt bad mooching off them all the time. I just never wanted to wear out my welcome there. I knew in my heart that that would never happen, but I still felt bad about it.
Karlei - Thanks once again. I am so glad there are people that like it and are reading it.
DallysGirl4Life - I do too, but unfortunately, we all know where this is going. Poor, poor Johnny. Thanks for reading.
Pony's Girl - Thanks much for the encouragement. Glad you're liking it.
Summer - That was lovely - thank you. I'm glad you like it and I'm not too concerned about those that don't, either. I'm sure it's not for everyone, but (thankfully for me) some people like it. Keep reading.
TwoBitGortez - Thanks for the nice review. I'm glad you enjoyed it, because I've enjoyed your stories!