Chapter 8 - Looking Back
Disclaimer - I don't own The Outsiders, or any of the characters in it.
A/N - Sorry - mot much new in this chapter, but I couldn't just skim over the events.
Ponyboy's P.O.V.
Visiting Johnny and Dally that afternoon had been tough. On the way, we had a run-in with some Socs. Randy, the dark-haired one had wanted to talk to me. He really was an okay guy. We talked about Bob, Johnny, and the rumble tonight. He wasn't going to show, and I understood his reasons.
We visited Johnny first. The doctors were right - he was in bad shape. I told him that Darry and I were going to be okay, and I could tell it made him happy. He was in pain and passed out cold before we were done visiting. Stephi began to cry, but Two-Bit and I pulled her out of there and into Dally's room.
Dally was going to be okay. He was going to have to stay in the hospital for a few days, and his arm would be scarred for the rest of his life, but he was in good spirits when we visited. That all changed when we told him about Johnny. His mood instantly turned bitter. He asked for Two-Bit's black handled switch and we all got out of there pretty quick. No one wanted to mess with Dally when he was in a mood like that. He was dangerous.
Cherry stopped us at the vacant lot on the way home. She had news about the rumble, and shared it with us. I was relieved to hear it was going to be a fair fight. It was good to see Cherry again. I had thought about her often while we were in Windrixville. She was a good person, someone I would like to be friends with. I just don't know if the world we live in would ever let us be friends.
It was getting late when we got home. Darry had made chicken, but I wasn't all that hungry. I couldn't eat hardly any of it, and just ended up pushing it around my plate with my fork. Stephi didn't eat any either. As a matter of fact, she hadn't eaten anything since we'd gotten home, but no one seemed to notice. Everyone was too juiced about the rumble.
I had a terrible headache, and was feeling kind of sick. I snuck some aspirin while Darry and Soda were doing the dishes. I jumped in the shower as Soda and Steve started a poker game. They were still playing when I got out, and Darry was cleaning up the kitchen. I looked around the room and realized the only other person who would be coming to join us was Two-Bit. I slumped into the armchair by the door.
Darry looked at me just then. "Pony, I don't know if you ought to be in this fight."
No, he can't do that to me. I have to fight. It was the only way I could think of to be better at than the Socs, and I wanted to whip those Socs. I pleaded and pleaded, and Soda and Stephi helped out my case.
"Let him fight tonight. We all get tensed before a rumble. Skin never hurt anyone," Soda piped in.
"Why don't you just stay here with Stephi?" Darry asked.
Stephi, who had been sitting quietly on the couch all evening, piped in. "Darry, I'll be okay. You know I don't much care for fightin', but I want you to trounce those Socs more than anything, and you need him to help you do that."
Darry finally relented, but made me promise to holler if I got into a jam. I agreed. Stephi stood up, stretched and headed out to the porch. Sitting on the front porch railing was Stephi's favorite place to think and daydream. She would sit out there in the heat of summer and in the chill of winter. We sometimes found her out there in the middle of the night when she couldn't sleep. At the front door, she paused and turned to us. "Please be careful."
"Sure, baby," Darry replied, as she went out the door. Then he turned his attention back to me. More instructions about the rumble and using my head. He grabbed Soda and affectionately rubbed his head. "This is one kid brother who can use his head. At least for one thing - to grow hair on."
Darry ducked Soda's swing and went flying out the door, almost running over Two-Bit, who had just arrived and was dancing Stephi across the porch. Everyone was outside in the yard, whooping and hollering, and doing cartwheels and flips and handstands. We were jazzed.
As we headed out of the yard, Darry paused and looked back at Stephi, laughing at us from the porch. "Hey Stephers, don't hang out on the porch tonight. Wait inside for us to come back, okay?" Darry knew that Socs would be driving into our neighborhood, and if any of them saw Stephi sitting alone on the porch, well.
"Sure, Darry. Kick some ass guys," and with that, she turned and headed for the front door.
I about tripped over Soda on that one. Stephi doesn't usually curse.
"Thanks," Two-Bit called. All the other chimed in their good-byes as well.
I'll spare you all the details of the rumble for the highlights - Dally showed up and we won. The Socs ran. Somehow, that didn't make me feel as wonderful as I thought it would. I felt kind of empty, actually. I didn't have much time to think about it, though, Dally grabbed me by the shirt and tugged me towards home. "Come on! We're goin' to see Johnny."
I tried to run, but stumbled. Dally shoved me along. "Hurry! He was getting worse when I left. He wants to see you and Stephi. Where is she?"
"She's at home, waiting for us to come back."
Dally burst through our front door calling Stephi's name. I staggered in a few seconds later. Dally was coming out of her bedroom. "Pony, she's not here."
"She's not?" I asked, panic creeping into my voice. "Where could she be? Darry told her to stay." I noticed Dally had just grabbed a piece of paper off the kitchen table. He started reading aloud.
Guys, Sorry, but I had to leave. I was going stir crazy thinking about you all at the rumble and Johnny and Dally at the hospital. I called a cab and used some of the money from the cookie jar to go see Johnny. I just have a strong feeling that I need to go there. I don't want him to be alone. I should have enough money for a cab back later. If not, I'll call. Please don't worry - I'll be home soon. I love you guys! Stephi
He grabbed my arm and yanked me to the door. "Come on, let's go!"
We hopped into Buck Merril's T-Bird and zoomed off towards the hospital. I closed my eyes as soon as I sat down in the front seat. I was aching all over. Some Soc had kicked me in the head, and I was nauseous, from the fight and from Dally's driving. He got pulled over by a cop, but convinced him to escort us to the hospital, saying I fell off my motorcycle. I felt like I had been run over by a motorcycle.
Dally ranted on and on the whole trip. I couldn't really make sense of everything that he was saying. I was afraid he was losing it. When we finally got to the hospital, the doctor stopped us in front of Johnny's room. "I'm sorry boys, but he's dying."
Dally flicked out Two-Bit's switch and told the doctor we were going in anyway. The doctor stepped aside. We both went into the room and stood in the doorway, trying to catch our breath. Stephi was sitting next to the bed, with her head down on the bed rail. She looked up at us when she heard our heavy breathing. Silent tears were streaming down her face. I could see it all in her eyes. He really was dying. It was awful quiet. I looked at Johnny. He was pale and very still. I had the thought that he was dead already, that we were too late.
Dally advanced towards the bed, moving more gently than I had ever seen him move. Johnny stirred when Dally called his name. He struggled to speak when Darry told him about beating the Socs.
"Useless.fighting's no good." He was awfully pale. I just stood at the edge of the bed, staring down at him. I wanted to tell him so much, but fear kept me voiceless. My eyes were burning, and my nauseous stomach heaved. Dally spoke again, telling Johnny that he was proud of him.
Johnny's eyes glowed, and his body seemed to relax a bit. That was all he wanted in life, for Dally to be proud of him. A grin began to form at the corners of his mouth. He called to me. "Ponyboy?"
I walked to the side of the bed and bent down towards him. "Stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold." The pillow seemed to sink a little, and Johnny died.
I straightened up, but couldn't step away. Couldn't look away. No Johnny, please don't go. Dally's voice broke me out of my fog. He spoke to Johnny, but then turned, once again, his mood transformed in an instant. He balled his hand in to a fist and slammed it into the wall, cursing. Then, he bolted out the door and down the hallway.
Stephi got up and started to go after him. I shook my head and pulled her into a fierce hug. She crumbled, sobs racking her body. I pulled her out of the room - I couldn't look at Johnny. We left the hospital, both of us in a daze. I'm still not exactly sure how long it took us to get home, but I remember some guy picking us up in his car and driving us there.
I opened the front door and looked around the room. It was quiet - no party here. Darry, Two-Bit and Soda were taped up and bruised. Steve was lying on the couch, his side bandaged. He slowly opened his eyes and looked up at Stephi and I as Darry jumped up, on my case before I could even get two steps into the door. "Where have you been?"
I couldn't answer; I didn't know what to say. He came towards us, but stopped, looking between Stephi and I. "What's the matter?" he asked.
How could I do this? What could I say? I put no thought into it, it just spilled out. Johnny's dead. Dally's gone.
No one moved. The silence in the room was chilling. Two-bit broke the silence, speaking what everyone else was feeling - even Dally has a breaking point.
Darry came towards Stephi and I. She was shaking and backed away into a corner. "No," she said, shaking her head. "No."
'No' what, I though to myself. The room was spinning. Darry turned to me, reaching out his had. "Don't touch me," I snapped. He turned to Soda, who was talking softly to Stehpi in the corner. Darry turned back to me.
"Ponyboy." he pleaded. The phone rang. Darry hesitated, but then turned to answer it. He said nothing after hello, just listened for a few seconds then hung up. He turned back towards us. "Dally robbed the grocery store. He's headed to the park. We've got to hide him."
We all took off for the vacant lot. We reached it at the same time as Dally and the same time as the cops. We watched from across the lot as Dally pulled his gun and aimed it at the cops. We were too far away to stop any of this. We helplessly watched as the police shot Dally. There was nothing we could do, but that's the way Dally wanted it. Nobody could stop Dally from getting what he wanted. We all knew that in the back of our minds, but no one wanted to believe it.
Steve fell to his knees, and Soda rushed to his side. Stephi was staring across the lot to where Dally lay, the police surrounding him. Darry pulled her back and turned her around, so she couldn't see. She buried her head into his chest. Two-Bit punched the tree to his left, opening up the wound on his hand. He then sat on the curb, holding his bleeding hand and cursing. The world around me began to sway. I looked towards my family, and couldn't see a thing. I heard someone cry out, and for the second time in as many days, I fell into blackness.
Thanks for reading. Special thanks for reviewing!
Kate - Glad to have you aboard. The story will change once I get through the familiar book part - I just wanted to establish Stephi in the family. And, it should go quick - I have most of it written now.
Samara - Me too, these two chapters were hard to write - especially this one. Thanks for reading.
Anja - Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. I hope you continue to like it.
GirlsDontCri - Yay is right. Not after this sad chapter, though. Thanks!
TwoBitGortez - Thanks much. Glad you are still liking the story.
Ski-Ming Bitch - Glad you liked hearing from Soda - it's fun to get inside his head - there's lots of good stuff in there. I like writing Darry, too. You'll hear more from them soon. It's harder to write Ponyboy, because he was already written so well. Thanks!
Disclaimer - I don't own The Outsiders, or any of the characters in it.
A/N - Sorry - mot much new in this chapter, but I couldn't just skim over the events.
Ponyboy's P.O.V.
Visiting Johnny and Dally that afternoon had been tough. On the way, we had a run-in with some Socs. Randy, the dark-haired one had wanted to talk to me. He really was an okay guy. We talked about Bob, Johnny, and the rumble tonight. He wasn't going to show, and I understood his reasons.
We visited Johnny first. The doctors were right - he was in bad shape. I told him that Darry and I were going to be okay, and I could tell it made him happy. He was in pain and passed out cold before we were done visiting. Stephi began to cry, but Two-Bit and I pulled her out of there and into Dally's room.
Dally was going to be okay. He was going to have to stay in the hospital for a few days, and his arm would be scarred for the rest of his life, but he was in good spirits when we visited. That all changed when we told him about Johnny. His mood instantly turned bitter. He asked for Two-Bit's black handled switch and we all got out of there pretty quick. No one wanted to mess with Dally when he was in a mood like that. He was dangerous.
Cherry stopped us at the vacant lot on the way home. She had news about the rumble, and shared it with us. I was relieved to hear it was going to be a fair fight. It was good to see Cherry again. I had thought about her often while we were in Windrixville. She was a good person, someone I would like to be friends with. I just don't know if the world we live in would ever let us be friends.
It was getting late when we got home. Darry had made chicken, but I wasn't all that hungry. I couldn't eat hardly any of it, and just ended up pushing it around my plate with my fork. Stephi didn't eat any either. As a matter of fact, she hadn't eaten anything since we'd gotten home, but no one seemed to notice. Everyone was too juiced about the rumble.
I had a terrible headache, and was feeling kind of sick. I snuck some aspirin while Darry and Soda were doing the dishes. I jumped in the shower as Soda and Steve started a poker game. They were still playing when I got out, and Darry was cleaning up the kitchen. I looked around the room and realized the only other person who would be coming to join us was Two-Bit. I slumped into the armchair by the door.
Darry looked at me just then. "Pony, I don't know if you ought to be in this fight."
No, he can't do that to me. I have to fight. It was the only way I could think of to be better at than the Socs, and I wanted to whip those Socs. I pleaded and pleaded, and Soda and Stephi helped out my case.
"Let him fight tonight. We all get tensed before a rumble. Skin never hurt anyone," Soda piped in.
"Why don't you just stay here with Stephi?" Darry asked.
Stephi, who had been sitting quietly on the couch all evening, piped in. "Darry, I'll be okay. You know I don't much care for fightin', but I want you to trounce those Socs more than anything, and you need him to help you do that."
Darry finally relented, but made me promise to holler if I got into a jam. I agreed. Stephi stood up, stretched and headed out to the porch. Sitting on the front porch railing was Stephi's favorite place to think and daydream. She would sit out there in the heat of summer and in the chill of winter. We sometimes found her out there in the middle of the night when she couldn't sleep. At the front door, she paused and turned to us. "Please be careful."
"Sure, baby," Darry replied, as she went out the door. Then he turned his attention back to me. More instructions about the rumble and using my head. He grabbed Soda and affectionately rubbed his head. "This is one kid brother who can use his head. At least for one thing - to grow hair on."
Darry ducked Soda's swing and went flying out the door, almost running over Two-Bit, who had just arrived and was dancing Stephi across the porch. Everyone was outside in the yard, whooping and hollering, and doing cartwheels and flips and handstands. We were jazzed.
As we headed out of the yard, Darry paused and looked back at Stephi, laughing at us from the porch. "Hey Stephers, don't hang out on the porch tonight. Wait inside for us to come back, okay?" Darry knew that Socs would be driving into our neighborhood, and if any of them saw Stephi sitting alone on the porch, well.
"Sure, Darry. Kick some ass guys," and with that, she turned and headed for the front door.
I about tripped over Soda on that one. Stephi doesn't usually curse.
"Thanks," Two-Bit called. All the other chimed in their good-byes as well.
I'll spare you all the details of the rumble for the highlights - Dally showed up and we won. The Socs ran. Somehow, that didn't make me feel as wonderful as I thought it would. I felt kind of empty, actually. I didn't have much time to think about it, though, Dally grabbed me by the shirt and tugged me towards home. "Come on! We're goin' to see Johnny."
I tried to run, but stumbled. Dally shoved me along. "Hurry! He was getting worse when I left. He wants to see you and Stephi. Where is she?"
"She's at home, waiting for us to come back."
Dally burst through our front door calling Stephi's name. I staggered in a few seconds later. Dally was coming out of her bedroom. "Pony, she's not here."
"She's not?" I asked, panic creeping into my voice. "Where could she be? Darry told her to stay." I noticed Dally had just grabbed a piece of paper off the kitchen table. He started reading aloud.
Guys, Sorry, but I had to leave. I was going stir crazy thinking about you all at the rumble and Johnny and Dally at the hospital. I called a cab and used some of the money from the cookie jar to go see Johnny. I just have a strong feeling that I need to go there. I don't want him to be alone. I should have enough money for a cab back later. If not, I'll call. Please don't worry - I'll be home soon. I love you guys! Stephi
He grabbed my arm and yanked me to the door. "Come on, let's go!"
We hopped into Buck Merril's T-Bird and zoomed off towards the hospital. I closed my eyes as soon as I sat down in the front seat. I was aching all over. Some Soc had kicked me in the head, and I was nauseous, from the fight and from Dally's driving. He got pulled over by a cop, but convinced him to escort us to the hospital, saying I fell off my motorcycle. I felt like I had been run over by a motorcycle.
Dally ranted on and on the whole trip. I couldn't really make sense of everything that he was saying. I was afraid he was losing it. When we finally got to the hospital, the doctor stopped us in front of Johnny's room. "I'm sorry boys, but he's dying."
Dally flicked out Two-Bit's switch and told the doctor we were going in anyway. The doctor stepped aside. We both went into the room and stood in the doorway, trying to catch our breath. Stephi was sitting next to the bed, with her head down on the bed rail. She looked up at us when she heard our heavy breathing. Silent tears were streaming down her face. I could see it all in her eyes. He really was dying. It was awful quiet. I looked at Johnny. He was pale and very still. I had the thought that he was dead already, that we were too late.
Dally advanced towards the bed, moving more gently than I had ever seen him move. Johnny stirred when Dally called his name. He struggled to speak when Darry told him about beating the Socs.
"Useless.fighting's no good." He was awfully pale. I just stood at the edge of the bed, staring down at him. I wanted to tell him so much, but fear kept me voiceless. My eyes were burning, and my nauseous stomach heaved. Dally spoke again, telling Johnny that he was proud of him.
Johnny's eyes glowed, and his body seemed to relax a bit. That was all he wanted in life, for Dally to be proud of him. A grin began to form at the corners of his mouth. He called to me. "Ponyboy?"
I walked to the side of the bed and bent down towards him. "Stay gold, Ponyboy. Stay gold." The pillow seemed to sink a little, and Johnny died.
I straightened up, but couldn't step away. Couldn't look away. No Johnny, please don't go. Dally's voice broke me out of my fog. He spoke to Johnny, but then turned, once again, his mood transformed in an instant. He balled his hand in to a fist and slammed it into the wall, cursing. Then, he bolted out the door and down the hallway.
Stephi got up and started to go after him. I shook my head and pulled her into a fierce hug. She crumbled, sobs racking her body. I pulled her out of the room - I couldn't look at Johnny. We left the hospital, both of us in a daze. I'm still not exactly sure how long it took us to get home, but I remember some guy picking us up in his car and driving us there.
I opened the front door and looked around the room. It was quiet - no party here. Darry, Two-Bit and Soda were taped up and bruised. Steve was lying on the couch, his side bandaged. He slowly opened his eyes and looked up at Stephi and I as Darry jumped up, on my case before I could even get two steps into the door. "Where have you been?"
I couldn't answer; I didn't know what to say. He came towards us, but stopped, looking between Stephi and I. "What's the matter?" he asked.
How could I do this? What could I say? I put no thought into it, it just spilled out. Johnny's dead. Dally's gone.
No one moved. The silence in the room was chilling. Two-bit broke the silence, speaking what everyone else was feeling - even Dally has a breaking point.
Darry came towards Stephi and I. She was shaking and backed away into a corner. "No," she said, shaking her head. "No."
'No' what, I though to myself. The room was spinning. Darry turned to me, reaching out his had. "Don't touch me," I snapped. He turned to Soda, who was talking softly to Stehpi in the corner. Darry turned back to me.
"Ponyboy." he pleaded. The phone rang. Darry hesitated, but then turned to answer it. He said nothing after hello, just listened for a few seconds then hung up. He turned back towards us. "Dally robbed the grocery store. He's headed to the park. We've got to hide him."
We all took off for the vacant lot. We reached it at the same time as Dally and the same time as the cops. We watched from across the lot as Dally pulled his gun and aimed it at the cops. We were too far away to stop any of this. We helplessly watched as the police shot Dally. There was nothing we could do, but that's the way Dally wanted it. Nobody could stop Dally from getting what he wanted. We all knew that in the back of our minds, but no one wanted to believe it.
Steve fell to his knees, and Soda rushed to his side. Stephi was staring across the lot to where Dally lay, the police surrounding him. Darry pulled her back and turned her around, so she couldn't see. She buried her head into his chest. Two-Bit punched the tree to his left, opening up the wound on his hand. He then sat on the curb, holding his bleeding hand and cursing. The world around me began to sway. I looked towards my family, and couldn't see a thing. I heard someone cry out, and for the second time in as many days, I fell into blackness.
Thanks for reading. Special thanks for reviewing!
Kate - Glad to have you aboard. The story will change once I get through the familiar book part - I just wanted to establish Stephi in the family. And, it should go quick - I have most of it written now.
Samara - Me too, these two chapters were hard to write - especially this one. Thanks for reading.
Anja - Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. I hope you continue to like it.
GirlsDontCri - Yay is right. Not after this sad chapter, though. Thanks!
TwoBitGortez - Thanks much. Glad you are still liking the story.
Ski-Ming Bitch - Glad you liked hearing from Soda - it's fun to get inside his head - there's lots of good stuff in there. I like writing Darry, too. You'll hear more from them soon. It's harder to write Ponyboy, because he was already written so well. Thanks!