Chapter II - I Would Walk With You, I Would Talk With You

"You're always looking. What a pity you never quite manage to see." - Erik Susan Kay's (Phantom)
*~*

Leo had been noticing the bruises and other occasional small wounds on Don, he had also been aware of days when Don seemed a little stiffer in his movements as if certain things pained him. Leo knew these injuries were not due to a rough practice session, nor were they the product of battle as there was another lull in fight as the Foot Clan seemed to be laying low at the moment.

At first Leonardo had assumed these minor injuries were due to accidents his brother had in his lab as he worked on his projects but Leo was very observant and took note of the fact that these wounds appeared with almost startling regularity.

He knew that while Don would get a few minor injuries now and again he wasn't that accident prone or clumsy to acquire as many as he seemed to be achieving recently. He was concerned and worried about what might be happening to Don.

His concerns only grew as he realized that his normally quiet brother was only becoming more withdrawn. They had always allowed Don a certain amount of solitude to work on his projects and do his own thing after all it was to their benefit to allow Don his freedom.

Don was the one who could research any subject, be counted on to know how to slip past high security areas without detection, repaired any of their electronics whenever Raph or Mike ended up breaking them. Don had made their lives far more tolerable then it would have been without his technical know how.

Still this was different then Don's quiet preoccupation with his gadgets, gizmos and various inventions. Leo wasn't sure how it was but, he felt it.

Now today in practice Don was showing signs of being distracted and not in the sort of form that Leo expected from him.

True there was the point that Tamara and Don had only been married a few short months but they didn't act like stereotypical newlyweds. True they had been friends before they married and Tamara had been the one who had told Don she didn't really want to be alone any more but the two didn't cling to one another in the typical lovely-dovey sort of way that was almost expected of a newly married couple.

Leo knew Don wasn't much one for emotional displays and figured Don might act different with Tamara when they were alone together.

Still Leo couldn't quite shake the feeling something was wrong and he hoped that a talk with Don might reveal what the problem was.

" So how are things going for you and Tamara? Are you settling down to married life?" Leo asked casually

" It's fine Leo. Why do you ask?" Don answered abruptly.

Leo scowled slightly. It wasn't like Don to become defensive to a simple question and he felt that Don was trying to keep something from him.

" I was just wondering if you were having any problems with Tamara. I know you were friends with her for a time beforehand but living so close to her on a more permanent basis might still take a bit of getting used to Don.

The thing is you seem distracted during practice and if the Foot decide to turn up and start causing trouble then you might be hurt. I don't want to see that happen.

The only thing that I know has changed for you is that you have been married so I thought that might be the cause of your lack of focus "Leo explained.

" We aren't having any problems Leo" Don remarked in an off hand sort of way.

" If you were having problems and difficulties with them you would let us know though wouldn't you?" Leo pressed ever so gently, " We are here to help you Don."

" I am fully aware of that Leo" Don snapped sharply then he shook his head, " Look Leo I'm sorry for being so churlish and I appreciate the fact you are concerned but there is really NOTHING wrong."

Leo noticed that his brother's eyes had dropped as he said the last bit. He knew without a doubt there was something wrong now. He didn't understand why Don chose to lie about it but there it was.

Leo was also painfully aware that there was little he could do about it. He couldn't exactly force Don to tell him what was going on and he wasn't about to play twenty questions with his brother either.

Don was old enough by now that he was fully capable of dealing with his own problems. Knowing all of this Leo reluctantly dropped the subject and let it go for now as it was obvious that Don wasn't ready to seek the help of his family on it just yet.

Leo watched Don leave the dojo and he heaved a wearied sigh his brother was changing ever so slightly and it wasn't a change for the better either.

Leo had sort of hoped that Tamara might draw Don out of his shell instead she seemed to be driving him further into it.

He didn't care for what he saw and he had an uneasy premonition that things were going to become much worse but he had no idea how to stop it when he knew little of what was going on.

He wished there was more he could do for Don then watch and wait to see what might develop but at the moment he wasn't sure what else he could do.

Leo debated for a few minutes before deciding to talk to Splinter to see if perhaps Splinter might know what else might be done besides their Master ought to be informed of the changes that were occurring in Don.

Leo strode to Splinter's room and gave a couple of soft taps on the door, he didn't want to disturb his Master if Splinter was in deep meditation.

The gentle summons to enter was all Leo needed he strode in stopping to bow his respect. Splinter smiled at the usual formality knowing his other sons were not so stiff and proper he gestured Leonardo to take a seat.

" What troubles you my son?"

Leo sighed wondering just how to begin " It's Don Master he has changed."

" That is to be expected Leonardo for he is now married" Splinter replied simply.

" I realize that marriage can bring about changes Master but this is...different. I know Don is used to being by himself and doing his own thing but he has changed its subtle but it is there and it has only been there since he has been married to Tamara" Leo tried to explain what he saw and felt but knew that the words he needed eluded him.

Splinter's old eyes seemed to spark a bit " Are you sure Leonardo that you perceive a change in him that has more to do with you then with Donatello himself? Perhaps you are afraid that the unity you have had over the years will change due to Don now being married" Splinter suggested.

" I'm not jealous of what Don and Tamara have between them and I suppose there was a time earlier on that I thought Don might leave ninjitsu all together to be with Tamara but I know their marriage isn't like that.

This is different then that. Don seems distracted in practice, he often has strange marks on him or acts a bit like he is stiff and soar for no apparent reason. I tried to talk to Don but he became evasive" Leo explained his suspicions, " It's just little things that don't seem to add up to much alone but don't feel right either."

" Perhaps Don and Tamara need to work out a few problems with each other. It takes time to learn to adjust to another person's behavior and mannerisms." Splinter stated.

" I did consider that..." Leo admitted.

" Give them time then Leonardo to work things out between them. Donatello is very much aware that we are here to help him if he should desire our help. I have faith that Donatello can deal with the problem on his own and I know he is not one to let any thing go unfinished. Though Donatello prefers not to fight he is still a ninja." Splinter soothed.

Leo nodded " I realize that Master, it's just I have this strange feeling that it goes deeper then that. I just can't see what it is and Don isn't about to tell me."

" Then you must be patient my son observe in hopes of seeing, be near in case he needs but above all do not allow your own emotions to get in the way causing you to step in when and where it isn't needed for that might only make things worse" Splinter advised.

Leo smiled accepting the information knowing that if he did step in when it wasn't warranted it might only cause hard feelings and increase any problems Don and Tamara were having. At the moment he could only wait and watch.

Perhaps Tamara knew the others might be on to what was happening or it could have been that she was just becoming more cautious in hurting Don so that the marks were not visible. Try as he might Don was getting nowhere solving the problem on his own.

However he was still reluctant to talk to his family about what was going on between him and his wife. Then one night he awoke to see Tammie sitting up on the bed her shoulders slumped and she was sniffing a bit.

" Tammie, is there something wrong?"

" You have to ask that when you live with me? Sometimes Don I hate myself and how I act. I know you don't deserve to be put through everything that I do to you. I don't know why you choose to stay. I can't seem to stop it though Don. I've tried. It doesn't work.

The scientist back in the lab they used to put things into my brain and I believe it had some bizarre effect on me and how I act. When I get angry things just go red, completely red and I just have to lash out" Tamara confessed dejectedly.

Don had expected as much numerous times before and he gave his wife a deep sympathetic look " We can work through it Tammie. I'm sure that we can find a way somehow. I know that you don't mean to hurt me and I figured it all stemmed from what you were put through. It is a part of who you are and I accepted that when I married you" Don stated he was grateful for the chance to talk about it and that Tammie at least admitted that there was a problem that needed to be worked on.

Don rested an arm around her shoulder pulling her close to him.

" I don't know Don maybe it isn't possible, maybe I'm just too messed up because these things are happening so often."

" Yes, but there has to be some way that we can control or divert it so it doesn't happen Tammie. There has to be something we can do to make it easier for both of us" Don insisted.
" I don't want to be turned into some experimental lab animal Donatello" She snapped quickly.

" You are not going to be one Tammie, trust me will you? I promise you that it won't. We might be able to find a solution that requires nothing more then physical effort."

Tammie bowed her head then looked up into Don's gentle face she wanted to trust him but trust didn't come easy to her. She knew that there might be a slight chance Don might have to run a few test just to pinpoint what the problem was and how to fix it and she wasn't too sure if she was ready for that.

" I know you are scared Tammie but I promise you that you won't have to do anything you don't want to."

Tammie responded with a relieved smile.

Don took great hope from the fact that Tamara had told him a bit about what had happened to her before and was willing to discuss some of her own feelings on what had been happening between them.

For some time after that evening talk things did get better as Don looked into things that they might try to help towards their goal. When Tammie seemed to become less aggressive towards him he felt that they were making headway and the situation could be remedied.

Don actually began to hope that they could beat this thing after all.

He didn't suspect in the least that Tammie was about to get far worse and that once she started she would deteriorate quickly.

Looking back on it he knew that those early months with his wife had been the best it would ever get between them.

*~*

I would walk with you

Talk with you, drink with you

If you drop that halo that you're wearing on the ground

"I'm Not Losing Sleep "(David Bowie)