Chapter III- The Truth Hurts Like Hell
"I love you, Erik, I love you in so many different ways...but my love is the love of a child afraid to grow up." - Christine Erik Susan Kay's (Phantom)
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Raph glowered when he heard Don give the happy news that Tamara was pregnant. Don was excited by the fact that he was going to be a father, but all Raph could think was that this was an invitation to more trouble.
He had never particularly cared for Tamara, there had always been something a little off about her.
In Raph's mind Tamara was the sort of rodent that you would expect to be infested with disease carrying parasites, she was the sort of rodent that gave ALL rodents a bad name.
Like Leo, Raph was not blind to what was happening with Don and they had already gotten into some fights over the fact of whether they ought to step in and when. Leo and Splinter's continued lack of action only infuriated Raph all the more, he felt they really ought to be doing something.
True, recently Don hadn't been showing any strange wounds, or sign of injury of any type, not like when he had first been married to Tamara at any rate but, that didn't mean a damn thing to him. Raph knew it could be just a quiet period in their relationship, the calm before the storm as it were, Raph was quite sure that Tamara being the sort of rat she was, would be pulling the carpet out from under Don's feet at any given moment.
" Now were going to be stuck with two of them" Raph grumbled under his breath.
Tamara hadn't been pregnant for very long when Don began to have his mysterious wounds appearing out of nowhere again. There was one day that Don skipped out of practice due to a dislocated shoulder . Don had made some feeble excuse for how the injury had occurred, but Raph listening to Don cover up for her felt his hot blood boil inside him as his temper flared up.
" Leo we have got to do something about HER" Raph grumbled after their session.
" Like what Raph? Give her, her walking papers?"
" That will do for a start..."
" You really believe that Don would let her leave here in her condition? If she leaves, Don might never see his child" Leo shot back.
" Face it Leo you know as well as I do that if she keeps up at this rate she will end up killing him, and meanwhile we will be standing by watching it happen because we are too afraid to step in and put a stop to it."
" If she hurts Don now what do you think she will do to the child once it is born?" Mike queried. He usually tried to make himself scarce when Leo and Raph started to act like they were about to get into another one of their many arguments but this was deeper then their constant bickering and one up manship." I don't dislike Tamara but I don't care what she is doing to Don. She needs some serious help.
It's like something I read once, somewhere about people who become addicted and how the addiction can be compared to an elephant in the house, the people go about their business totally ignoring the elephant, they don't see it or talk about it and yet they all know the elephant is there in plain sight it's just no one wants to do anything about it.
Raph gave a wicked grin at Mike's comment " I'm going elephant hunting soon Leo if something isn't done soon" he threatened.
" Raph I have tried to talk to Don numerous times. It doesn't help he just keeps covering up for her and making excuses just like he did today. He won't admit to the fact that there is a problem between him and Tamara and I don't know what to do" Leo confessed.
Raph gave a rumbling, animalistic growl of frustration before storming out of the dojo.
He hadn't gone far when he caught sight of Tamara sitting on the couch reading a book, paying no attention to her surroundings. Raph unsheathed a single sai and crept into ninja mode sneaking up on her until he was right behind her. He moved fast, with all the speed of a striking snake one arm curled about her neck in a light choke hold, the other hand holding the sai, right at her throat.
" Listen up Furface, you might think that we don't know what you are doing to our brother, but we are very much aware of the facts. If I have my way you hurt Don again and you will end up back in the lab that you escaped from. Don't you ever hurt Don again or you are going have to deal with me personally. Got that?"
Tamara hissed between bared teeth one side of her lip curled in disgust " It is none of your business"
" Yeah, well I'm about to make it my business" Raph retorted.
" Raphael!"
The sharp yet commanding tone coming from behind him was all he needed to know, that his Master was watching and wasn't amused by what he saw.
Raph turned to face Splinter sheathing his sai, knowing he was in trouble, yet again!
" Come with me now," Splinter ordered.
Raph reluctantly followed Splinter as he left the living room he swore he saw, Tamara smirking at him from the corner of one eye.
They entered Splinter's room before he spoke again " Do you truly believe my son that violence is the only way to achieve Don's safety?"
" It might be the only thing she understands Sensei. I'm sick and tired of doing nothing while Don is getting hurt, we ought to put a stop to it NOW! I don't even know why we put up with her. She is a waste of space and doesn't deserve to live!" Raph declared venting some of his pent up anger and frustrations.
" Who, then gave you the right to decide who should live and who should die?" Splinter wondered his eyes narrowing slightly.
" Do we have to sit by and let this happen in our home practically under our noses?"
" You must try to understand Raphael that we are in a bit of a bind. If we throw Tamara out of our home it could very well be Donatello who stands to lose, then you will be hurting the one you seek to protect. Donatello might come to resent us for his loss.
We can not use violence on Tamara due to her condition.
As for Donatello himself it pains me to see him like this, because he continues to make the mistake worse by hiding and covering up the problem. I have tried a few times to get him to acknowledge what is happening to him but he refuses to see. As long as Donatello is willing to accept her behaviour towards him then there is little we can do to prevent or stop it.
In many ways it is similar to one who becomes addicted to some substance, the one who has the problem might know it exist but feels they can't live without their fix so they make excuses to family and loved ones. Their lives goes in a downward spiral and only when they are willing to admit to the problem and stop it can they start the long climb out of the hole they have dug for themselves.
Meanwhile loved ones can do all kinds of things they can talk, they can try to get help for the addict, to no avail for it means nothing to the addict. The addict will continue doing things their way until they are ready to change.
I know Donatello is not addicted, not in the true sense, but he does allow Tamara to repeatedly hurt him, he returns to her and protects her. This tells Tamara that she can't be doing wrong if he willingly permits it.
Donatello is not ready to climb out of the hole he is digging for himself just yet my son."
" I can't just sit by and watch her hurt him" Raph protested.
" I understand but you must try to accept the fact that no matter what you do Raphael Donatello will continue to choose her until he is ready to do otherwise" Splinter replied with a heavy resigned sigh and a dejected shake of his head.
Don figured that the extra hormones and usual problems that came with any pregnancy only contributed to making Tamara more violent and aggressive.
She blamed him to the changes her body was undergoing, and she wasn't about to let him off easy for what he was making her suffer with this pregnancy. Don didn't want to strike back for fear of jeopardizing the infant's life and also because he had learned that to strike back was a way to invite further trouble from Tamara. She didn't even seem to care who saw the marks on Don now.
" It isn't their damned business anyways. Besides you are the one to blame for this mess! You think that someone of your intellect could at least manage to invent something to stop conception" she snarled, as she raked her long claws down his arm, from elbow to wrist.
Her claws causing four long deep gashes to almost magically appear and the blood started to flow almost instantly.
It was an uncomfortable, tense atmosphere, which filled the lair as the days turned into weeks.
Everyone was very much aware and affected by what was happening. Raph's anger was running at a higher peak then normal and he was apt to get into fights for the least little infraction. Leo for the first time felt that all of his leadership skills and capabilities were useless to him, if he could not protect his own brother from coming to harm. Mike found little to laugh at or to joke about and Splinter ached deeply for his intellectual son. Splinter wanted to help Donatello in the worst way but he knew any interference would not be accepted, and his son would reject him as he had before. Not even meditation helped to ease the pain and the conflict the old ninja Master felt for his son.
All of them were somehow caught in the bizarre web of destruction and chaos they had unwittingly been thrust into.
It was difficult to see Don being hurt to know the cause of it and hear the lies that he would weave to protect her over it.
Leo had often heard that people in abusive relationships would return to the abuser time after time, if they ever found someone who treated them half ways decent they would leave that person for someone who would hurt them.
He couldn't begin to fathom that reasoning and yet he saw his normally intelligent brother acting in this incomprehensible way.
None of them knew how to help Don, though they had all tried in their own way. It was obvious to them all that Don wasn't quite ready for their help yet.
Raph had been out blowing off steam topside. He couldn't handle being in the lair for too long these days as Tamara's pregnancy went on things just seemed to be going from bad to worse.
When he returned home he headed towards the kitchen and caught Tamara with a syringe in her hand and it looked like she was about to administer it's contents into her arm.
Without stopping to think, Raph tossed a sai her way knocking the syringe out of her hand, the plastic breaking as it hit the concrete floor of the sewer, it's contents slowly leaking out.
" What do you think you are doing?" Tamara snapped at him.
" I was going to ask you the same thing. Trying to hurt Don isn't enough for you now?" Raph demanded sharply.
" You don't know what it is like to have a thing growing inside of you, taking over your body. It feels far worse then anything the scientist had ever did to me."
" It is not a thing, it is a baby, and you have no right to kill it either. No one asked to be here, god knows I wouldn't if I had a choice in the matter" Raph stated coldly, glowering at Tamara.
" It's a shame really, after this child is born we will forever be connected" she murmured morosely.
" Yeah it is no picnic for Don either" Raph admitted, " fact is I think the only thing keeping him going is the fact that he knows he is going to be a dad and YOU are NOT going to take that from him" Raph promised.
Don sat huddled on the bed, tears rolling down his face. Tamara had left him for the moment to go roam the sewers or go topside, after her furious attack on him.
He hated it when she acted this way and he knew her attacks were increasing in violence as the pregnancy wore on.
How was he supposed to continue like this?
Oh, he knew there had been problems before he wasn't totally blind after all, but he had believed that they could work them out, only now he wasn't so sure if that was possible any more their problems now seemed insurmountable. He didn't know how things had gotten so out of hand so fast. It was the avalanche caused by the tiniest of pebbles sliding down the mountain face.
Tamara's mind seemed clouded with a darkness that couldn't be reached or touched.
It was clear to him that whatever had caused these attacks originally did not agree with her pregnancy.
Don glanced down at his hands and saw them shaking almost uncontrollably. His left arm pained him badly where Tammie had twisted it, it was quite possible that she had broken it.
" I can't go on like this" Don sobbed into the thin air around him. He stumbled slowly from his room unsure of what he planned to do, only knowing that he was quite literally at the end of his rope.
" Donatello do you need help my son?"
Don looked up with tear filled eyes nodding his head in numb silence, seeking the comfort and guidance that his father/mentor/Master had always provided.
" Come first we will care for your arm and then we shall talk my son. It might be some time before all is right again but you have made that first important step on your way back to us. We are here for you Donatello, even the best of sons may make a mistake but that does not mean they must suffer alone."
No one can blame you
For walking away
Too much rejection
No love injection
Life can be easy
It's not always swell
Don't tell me truth hurts, little girl
'Cause it hurts like hell
"Labyrinth them song" David Bowie
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