Sooo…wanna know what I did for Halloween? A group of friends and I went trick-or-treating around a few streets. And when that got bored…we started going door-to-door, singing Christmas carols. Just for kicks. Got quite a few *interesting* reactions, too—on camera, no less. ^_^ Further proof that we are all certifiably insane.
Oh, yeah. I also dressed up as X-men: Evolution's Rogue. Check it out: the link is in my profile.
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REVIEWS
todd fan
Congrats on passing your road test *hands a cookie over*
Thanks! ^_^
All: *put on crash helmets*
*dryly* Very funny…
Another much loved chapter, GO 60'S!
Rurouni Tyriel
Guesses, guesses… oh so many possibilities. Let's see, it's a blonde, but you could've dyed one of the chatacters…hm… *exercises the mental power of all four of his brains…*
Todd: …four brains?
Lance: I think he meant brain cells.
I got nothing. But I liked the Mojonator 90 test and Danielle have a part, however brief.
Pyro: *cowers from a glaring Danielle* Why is it they all want to kill ME?!
Can't wait for more.
On an unrelated note, I am not just any fan of X23. I would sell my soul for one week alone with her on a desert island… and some coconut oil. ^_^
Boys: *start drooling at the thought*
X23: *glares at then oddly* I fail to see the connection between a desert and coconut oil. Coconuts grow on trees, and deserts to not have trees. The male species is a very strange group.
Jubilee: Welcome to the real world, hun.
ASGT
Belladonna? Is Belladonna Felicity Shagwell?
Tabby: *makes buzzing sound*
Lance: Sorry, that is incorrect. Thanks for playing.
Remy: Not a bad guess, though…
Good story. Died laughing at the Rebecca line in the last chapter. Rebecca Romanji…Stamos! Is Mystique! ((Or am I just confused?))
Magneto: Probably both.
Mystique: *fumes* She looked nothing like me! How dare you make that comparison!!!
Logan: *watches movie clip* Well…you have to admit…there is some likeness….
RahneMan
Rahney the Muse-*BWAHAHAHAHAHAA!! I'm famous! HA! BRING ON WANDA! WOO!*
All: *back away veeeery slowly*
Dances round a campfire with Lance tied on a spit
Lance: *suddenly tied on a spit* HEY! LET ME DOWN!
Lance- Can I come down now?
*No! I Must sacrifice you to the Goddess that is Wanda! BWAHAHAHAHA!*
All: *sweatdrop*
Lance: *muttering curses under his breath*
Me- Uh, Rahney why are you roasting Lance Alvers over a campfire.
Pietro: Alex Tebeck You have to phrase it in the form of a question…and that means question marks, dumbass.
Magneto: PIETRO! No insulting the reviewers!
Pietro: Yes, father.
*I'm sacrificing to the Great Goddess Wanda*
Oh okay. Uh.. can I join in?
*Sure, knock yourself out*
Both of us dance around the campfire chanting
*WANDA! WANDA! WANDA!*
Evan: Like muse, like Author…
Pietro: Hey, if you guys like her so much, I can find the number of THE asylum she was staying at for eight years.
Lance: For the last time…LET ME DOWN!
Pyromaniac1
I made the last review G rated cause some scary guy was at the computer next to me and he kept starting at my computer's screen. I was going to start talking about him in the review, but he was bigger than me and had already poured water down my back when I was a wee little freshman.
Pyro: Man, I hate those type of people.
X23: If I were her, I'd just shoot him.
Stupid person. ::Shoots him::
All: …*stare at X23*
Interesting song. Actually seems like something Johnny would sing.
Pyro: I dunno…you should hear the stuff Gambit sings in the shower. You can hear him from everywhere in the base.
Remy: 0.o
Blonde girl? Um…yeah. I know who it is. *Nods*
I lied. I don't know who it is.
Pyro: That's okay. We don't either. SHE never tells us anything.
Can't think of any more comments…You're an updating machine! I feel bad for not updating anything for awhile…maybe that's a good thing?
Fred: *snorts* Updating machine? Then how come it's been months since we've seen a Primary Colors chapter?!
SHH! No need to bring that up…I TOLD you guys that my laptop's been holding it hostage!
Brotherhood: Suuuure it has…
Android-21
For Miss Shagwell I'm thinking Emma Frost…only blonde I can think of besides Tabitha.
Ray: Again, another good guess…
Pietro: But no.
Wow…my reviews section is almost getting as long as the fic itself ^_^()
* * * * *
Pyro walks down the street, looking at his new BEATLES album. No, I don't care what anyone else says. The Beatles kick ass even now, and that's all there is to it.
Sitting in a parked Citroen, watching him carefully is Jean Luc. He nods to Jamie, a shoeshine, on the street.
Jamie nods to Colossus—wearing a business suit—in a Homburg.
Colossus nods to Bobby, a…well…bobby.
Bobby: *dryly* Nice pun.
Todd: *off-screen* Now you know how I feel!
Bobby nods to Dorothy (the secretary), who is wheeling a baby carriage.
Dorothy nods to ex-Principal Kelley…who is now a mime.
Kelley: *makes all sorts of obscene gestures at DragonBlond for the crappy part*
Kelley nods to Irene, a blind beggar with a tin cup.
Irene nods to Lance, a carpenter on the roof.
Lance flashes a light to Forge, an Indian Chief.
Forge gives a smoke signal to Sam, a Beefeater Guard.
Sam: …what's a Beefeater Guard?
*shrugs* I'm just reading off the script.
Sam salutes with his pike to Belladonna, a sexy ticket collector on a double-decker bus.
Belladonna signals to Henri (you know…Remy's brother), a taxi driver.
Henri nods back to Jean Luc as he drives by. Jean Luc gets the signal, and starts the car…signaling that the whole "signaling" sequences was a big waste of time and page space.
Pyro is walking along. Suddenly, he sees the Citroen coming at him. He dives out of the way and immediately takes off running. Seconds later, he rounds a corner and pretends to be a couple making out against the wall by hugging himself.
Jean Luc sees him and slams on the brakes. He raises his gun. Pyro turns around…
Pyro: Bugger.
…and hears a loud honk.
It's his Beetle convertible. The mysterious woman steps out, and we finally see her face. It's none other than…
Pyro: …Wanda?!
Heh. Who saw that one coming? Come on, be honest.
Sure enough, it's none other than Wanda, wearing a tight racing suit…unzipped just enough to show the female symbol medallion and a bit of cleavage. She's also wearing a blonde wig.
Wanda: *look up* May I point out that the Felicity in this version was NOT a blonde?
You can try, but I won't listen. I like the blonde Felicity better.
Wanda: I hate you.
She looks to Pyro as her THEME SONG plays in the background.
Wanda: Care for a ride?
Pyro: *still in shock*
A random person pokes him with a stick. After a few seconds, he blinks and rejoins reality, wiping away the slight drool at the corner of his mouth.
Pyro: Er…yeah…. That's my Beetle, baby.
Wanda: It was your Beetle. Get in.
Pyro dives in the car just as Jean Luc gets over HIS shock and fires. The car speeds off.
Wanda drives it expertly for someone without a driver's license. Then again, Tabby probably doesn't have one either, so why argue logic?
Wanda: Austin Powers, I presume?
Pyro: Powers by name, Powers by reputation.
Wanda: Felicity Shagwell, CIA. Shagwell by name, Shag-very-Well by reputation.
She glances at him seductively.
Pyro: *to camera* Oh, hell, yeah…
As the Beetle zips along, Jean Luc appears behind it and fires. Wanda turns around to look.
Wanda: Grab the wheel, would you?
Pyro does so as she pulls a gun. Wanda turns and fires out the window. Jean Luc's tire blows out. The car skids towards a cliff, but he jumps out just before it goes over.
The car bounces three times before exploding.
Jean Luc: *winces* There goes my insurance rates…
Suddenly, the branch he is holding onto with one hand snaps. He falls.
Jean Luc: Ahhhhhhhhhh!
Wanda and Pyro watch him fall.
Wanda: Well, Austin, I think this time you may have met your match.
Pyro: Oh, I've beaten Dr. Evil before, and I'll beat him again.
Wanda: I was talking about me.
She smiles, turns, and walks away.
We see a very dark room, with only a single spotlight providing illumination. Suddenly, Pyro and Wanda rise on an elevator into the middle of the spotlight.
Pyro: Welcome to my shag pad, baby.
Light floods the "pad," revealing hanging basket chairs, hi-fi, and Warhol silk screens of Pyro.
Pyro blows Dust off a table.
Pyro: Care for something to drink?
He presses a button and a bookcase revolves to reveal a wetbar.
Pyro: Or, perhaps, something to read?
He walks seductively over to a wall and hits another button. It revolves to reveal a bookcase.
Wanda: Okay, now you're just showing off.
Pyro: Yes, ma'am! How about a hot cup of coffee?
Wanda: Yes, I rather fancy a grind.
Pyro: …kinky.
He hits a button and an automatic coffee-pourer pours a cup.
"Girl from Impenema" by JOBIM starts to play.
Pyro: Would you like a…massage? A sensual massage?
Wanda: Why not? My back's been killing me from wearing this stupid suit.
Pyro: Trust me…it was well worth it.
He winks, and Wanda blushes slightly…for real.
Yet another button is pressed, and this time a series of actions take place: the floor opens up to reveal a sunken bed…red gels slide into place over the laps…a painting slides back to reveal a reel-to-reel…and an end table revolves to reveal a selection of massage oils.
Wanda goes and lies on her stomach on the bed. Pyro takes some of the oils and begins to gently massage her.
Pyro: How does that feel, baby?
Wanda: Mmm…lower.
Pyro: *lowers his voice* How does that feel, baby?
She rolls his eyes, but laughs along with him anyway.
Wanda: Wait. Something's itching me.
Wanda gets up very slowly, and unties the strap of her evening dress in a seductive manner, leaving her back entirely bare.
Wanda: That's better.
Pyro: *eyes wide* Crikey!!!
He gulps nervously and accidentally spurts WAY too much oil out of the bottle. The way it shoots out gives a visual of…something else. Something I can't say if I want to keep this PG-13.
Pyro clears is throat a couple times, then continues to rub Wanda's back as she stretches out on the bed.
When he' sure she can't hear him, he looks downard.
Pyro: *whispering* Hello, anyone home? C'mon lads, do it for England.
Nothing.
Wanda: Did you say something?
Pyro: Um…no.
Wanda sits up, stretching very sexily.
Wanda: Oh, that was so relaxing. You're pretty good with your hands.
Pyro: Thanks. Er…would you like to see my etchings?
Wanda: *sexy* I think I'm ready for bed.
She moves closer to him, but slides all the way over to the other side of the bed.
Pyro: Okay, I'll get you some PJs.
Wanda: I don't wear Pajamas.
Pyro closes his eyes.
Pyro: Don't think about it…don't think about it…don't—ah, hell.
She moves over to him again, but he continues to avoid her.
Pyro: I suppose you'll want to clean your teeth, then?
He holds up a toothpaste and toothbrush. Wanda finally grabs him and pins him to the bed.
Wanda: No, I want to have sex with you, Austin!
Pyro: …really?
Wanda: No, but that's what it says in the script.
Pyro: Hello Vicar!
Wanda: I've studied everything about you—your methods, your accomplishments, your preferences…
Pyro: My psychiatric records?
Wanda: *quickly* Oh, who pays attention to those things, anyway? Point is, you're the reason I became a spy. Now, I've waited two years to meet you, so I say we get busy making up for lost time.
Pyro: …damn this script…
He gently pushes her off him and sits up.
Pyro: Felicity, I used to think that way, too, but I guess…I guess I've changed. Not to make a short story long, or to ramble on and on, or to keep talking in a repetitive manner ad infinitum until it becomes impossible to remember what I was talking about in the first place, but—where was I?
Wanda: I think you were about to brush me off.
Pyro: Oh, yeah. Felicity, I can't shag you. I've lost my mojo.
Wanda looks honestly disappointed…but tried to hide it by looking obviously disappointed. Make sense to you? Yeah, me neither.
Wanda: Oh…
Pyro: I thought coming back to the Sixties would bring it back—like one of those time-traveling detail that nobody understands or cares much to explain—but it hasn't.
Wanda smiles gently at him.
Wanda: Austin, don't worry. I know just the man to help you. He's my guru. Ringo recommended him, and he's the best.
Pyro: …don't you mean psychiatrist?
Wanda: *quickly* No.
Pyro: Works for me. I'll warm up the Jumbo Jet, baby.
Wanda: *smirks* Which one?
Pyro: …I'm gonna like this partnership….
* * * * *
Another chapter done. ^_^ And now that we have our leading lady in the picture, it's time for double the insanity (pun intended)! Not to mention, plenty of Wanda/St. John action to come. Stay tuned….
R+R. All question, comments, and anything else are to be directed to the characters themselves.