Disclaimer: The Power to own the World was on my Christmas list. I didn't
get what I want this year so no, I don't own Gundam Wing....there's always
next year however....
Grinning Reaper: And we're BACK minna-san! I almost thought that I wasn't going to write in this anymore!
Quatre: Why not??
Wufei: She had the world's worst case of writer's block...in her opinion anyway.
Heero: ...
Grinning Reaper: It really was terrible! So I wrote a few fics to clear it. More shameless advertisements: Go and read 'When Quatre Gives you Lemons' and 'My Angel has a Halo' I'm actually quite proud of both of them!
Trowa: I'm in one!
Grinning Reaper: That's right. Now let's get on with this shall we?
Chapter seven: Pulse
It was late at night when I woke for the second time. I rolled over and half expected to see Duo's sleeping face looking back at me. Ever since the first time we shared a bed the two of us had turned it into a nightly routine. But the bed was empty save for me. I sit up and look around because sometimes he is at his computer reading or typing something. But the room was also empty. I swung my feet from the bed and onto the floor. I sat there for a moment. It was strangely silent. Nothing is ever this quiet when Duo is around. I heard a noise from the bathroom. A light thump. I walked over to the door and rapped on it gently. There was no reply. Did he hear me knock or was he just not answering? Slowly, I turned the knob and opened the door. It was darker in the bathroom than it was in the room. I blinked into the blackness, trying to make my eyes adjust. No such luck. Sighing, I flipped on the light. Duo was sitting crumbled up against the wall, his face buried in his knees. I walked over to him and knelt beside him.
"Fei?" His voice was quiet and cracked slightly. I rested my head on his shoulder and wrapped both my arms around his waist. "I'm sorry Fei." He murmured. I tried to get him to look me in the eye but his head remained folded downward. It was then that I felt something hot and sticky trail down my forearm. Before I could control it, my hand shot out and grabbed his wrist, causing him to yelp in what was either pain or surprise. I pulled his arm up so I could see it. There were two slash marks on his forearm. In his other hand was a razor.
"I'm sorry." He mumbled again, lowering his gaze. I snatched the razor from him and drew it across my own arm in the same exact spot.
"Fei!!" He screeched "What the hell do you think you're doing?!?" He grabbed the hand that held the razor and yanked it away from my arm before I could make the second cut. "Huh? What did you think that you were doing?" He demanded shaking me a bit. I glared up at him. Realization dawned in those bruised eyes. He understood. He felt what I did whenever he did that. "I guess I'm not one to be talking." He said softly. I sighed. I wrapped my arms loosely around his waist and let my head drop onto his shoulder. He let out a shaky breath and allowed his fingers drift through my hair. He was shaking a bit. I tightened my grip around him. I gazed up at him his eyes were half closed.
"It's just that sometimes I...I don't know. I just don't think that it's worth it sometimes you know? Like I don't think that I should be around anymore because I'm so much trouble to all of you." I shook my head back and forth quickly. I wanted to tell him that he wasn't any trouble to me. That he was the one that held us all together. That he was a foundation for us. And as shaky and unpredictable a foundation he was, he was ours nonetheless, he made us laugh, he watched over us and above all he loved us. But every time that the words rose up in my throat they were squashed back down. Fire was burning in my throat and behind my eyes. I couldn't utter even a sound. I am that damned pathetic. Useless. I clenched my jaw. This was so frustrating.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset." He said softly when I buried my face in his shoulder. I was not going to cry. Duo said himself that boys don't cry. So that would mean that men don't either. I drew in a shaky breath and waved my thoughts away with my hand. I raise my head and open the cabinet beside me. I pull out the first aid kit and got out band- aids and Neosporin. I apply the salve to his wounds and put a band-aid over them before giving myself the same treatment. Duo smiled wanly and ruffled my hair.
"Thanks 'Fei." He says quietly. I shrug and reset my head against his shoulder. He starts twisting a lock of my hair around his finger. We sat on the cold bathroom floor tiles in silence. "Hey uhm, 'Fei...?" his voice is different now. Shyer. I look up at him. He's looking away from me. "c- could I kiss you?" He asked in a tiny voice. I stared up at him in shock. He didn't really mean that...did he? Now I absolutely *had* to talk. I drew in a deep breath and held it there. The words just wouldn't come. Duo smiled and gently brushed his lips over mine. I felt a spark of static electricity tingle through my body.
"Is this okay?" he asked softly. I did the best that I could given the circumstances: I nodded. He leaned over and kissed me again. His lips were soft and gentle. I hadn't really taken the time to imagine what getting kissed by him would be like but if I did it would be something like this. He pushed apart my lips with his tongue and slid into my mouth, coaxing my tongue to play with his. I had never really kissed anyone like this before, it feels kind of strange but not in a bad way. Most definitely not. He pulled back and kissed the tip of my nose and smiled at me.
"Wanna get back in bed?" He asked with a grin. I was altogether sure that sleeping was the last thing on his mind. I smiled slightly in return and nodded once more. Sleep was the last thing on my mind as well.
Grinning Reaper: Yaoi goodness! SMEG!!
Wufei: 0,o
Duo: Excellent chapter bravo, bravo.
Trowa: You're just happy because you nailed Wufei...
Qautre: 0,o
Heero: I thought that it sucked.
Quatre: Heero! That isn't nice!
Grinning Reaper: SILENCE SPANDEX BOY BEFORE I SMITE THEE!!
Wufei: You've been watching Lord of the Rings again haven't you?
Grinning Reaper: Legolassssss....... Aragorn..... ::drool::
Everyone else: o,0
Grinning Reaper: And we're BACK minna-san! I almost thought that I wasn't going to write in this anymore!
Quatre: Why not??
Wufei: She had the world's worst case of writer's block...in her opinion anyway.
Heero: ...
Grinning Reaper: It really was terrible! So I wrote a few fics to clear it. More shameless advertisements: Go and read 'When Quatre Gives you Lemons' and 'My Angel has a Halo' I'm actually quite proud of both of them!
Trowa: I'm in one!
Grinning Reaper: That's right. Now let's get on with this shall we?
Chapter seven: Pulse
It was late at night when I woke for the second time. I rolled over and half expected to see Duo's sleeping face looking back at me. Ever since the first time we shared a bed the two of us had turned it into a nightly routine. But the bed was empty save for me. I sit up and look around because sometimes he is at his computer reading or typing something. But the room was also empty. I swung my feet from the bed and onto the floor. I sat there for a moment. It was strangely silent. Nothing is ever this quiet when Duo is around. I heard a noise from the bathroom. A light thump. I walked over to the door and rapped on it gently. There was no reply. Did he hear me knock or was he just not answering? Slowly, I turned the knob and opened the door. It was darker in the bathroom than it was in the room. I blinked into the blackness, trying to make my eyes adjust. No such luck. Sighing, I flipped on the light. Duo was sitting crumbled up against the wall, his face buried in his knees. I walked over to him and knelt beside him.
"Fei?" His voice was quiet and cracked slightly. I rested my head on his shoulder and wrapped both my arms around his waist. "I'm sorry Fei." He murmured. I tried to get him to look me in the eye but his head remained folded downward. It was then that I felt something hot and sticky trail down my forearm. Before I could control it, my hand shot out and grabbed his wrist, causing him to yelp in what was either pain or surprise. I pulled his arm up so I could see it. There were two slash marks on his forearm. In his other hand was a razor.
"I'm sorry." He mumbled again, lowering his gaze. I snatched the razor from him and drew it across my own arm in the same exact spot.
"Fei!!" He screeched "What the hell do you think you're doing?!?" He grabbed the hand that held the razor and yanked it away from my arm before I could make the second cut. "Huh? What did you think that you were doing?" He demanded shaking me a bit. I glared up at him. Realization dawned in those bruised eyes. He understood. He felt what I did whenever he did that. "I guess I'm not one to be talking." He said softly. I sighed. I wrapped my arms loosely around his waist and let my head drop onto his shoulder. He let out a shaky breath and allowed his fingers drift through my hair. He was shaking a bit. I tightened my grip around him. I gazed up at him his eyes were half closed.
"It's just that sometimes I...I don't know. I just don't think that it's worth it sometimes you know? Like I don't think that I should be around anymore because I'm so much trouble to all of you." I shook my head back and forth quickly. I wanted to tell him that he wasn't any trouble to me. That he was the one that held us all together. That he was a foundation for us. And as shaky and unpredictable a foundation he was, he was ours nonetheless, he made us laugh, he watched over us and above all he loved us. But every time that the words rose up in my throat they were squashed back down. Fire was burning in my throat and behind my eyes. I couldn't utter even a sound. I am that damned pathetic. Useless. I clenched my jaw. This was so frustrating.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset." He said softly when I buried my face in his shoulder. I was not going to cry. Duo said himself that boys don't cry. So that would mean that men don't either. I drew in a shaky breath and waved my thoughts away with my hand. I raise my head and open the cabinet beside me. I pull out the first aid kit and got out band- aids and Neosporin. I apply the salve to his wounds and put a band-aid over them before giving myself the same treatment. Duo smiled wanly and ruffled my hair.
"Thanks 'Fei." He says quietly. I shrug and reset my head against his shoulder. He starts twisting a lock of my hair around his finger. We sat on the cold bathroom floor tiles in silence. "Hey uhm, 'Fei...?" his voice is different now. Shyer. I look up at him. He's looking away from me. "c- could I kiss you?" He asked in a tiny voice. I stared up at him in shock. He didn't really mean that...did he? Now I absolutely *had* to talk. I drew in a deep breath and held it there. The words just wouldn't come. Duo smiled and gently brushed his lips over mine. I felt a spark of static electricity tingle through my body.
"Is this okay?" he asked softly. I did the best that I could given the circumstances: I nodded. He leaned over and kissed me again. His lips were soft and gentle. I hadn't really taken the time to imagine what getting kissed by him would be like but if I did it would be something like this. He pushed apart my lips with his tongue and slid into my mouth, coaxing my tongue to play with his. I had never really kissed anyone like this before, it feels kind of strange but not in a bad way. Most definitely not. He pulled back and kissed the tip of my nose and smiled at me.
"Wanna get back in bed?" He asked with a grin. I was altogether sure that sleeping was the last thing on his mind. I smiled slightly in return and nodded once more. Sleep was the last thing on my mind as well.
Grinning Reaper: Yaoi goodness! SMEG!!
Wufei: 0,o
Duo: Excellent chapter bravo, bravo.
Trowa: You're just happy because you nailed Wufei...
Qautre: 0,o
Heero: I thought that it sucked.
Quatre: Heero! That isn't nice!
Grinning Reaper: SILENCE SPANDEX BOY BEFORE I SMITE THEE!!
Wufei: You've been watching Lord of the Rings again haven't you?
Grinning Reaper: Legolassssss....... Aragorn..... ::drool::
Everyone else: o,0