Hermione knew exactly what he had wanted. Finally she had convinced herself to come here by telling herself, that she was only here to tell him off, and nothing more. But ever since she had decided to tell him off, she had been repeating it over and over again. Like a mantra. Was she really here just to tell him off? If so, then why did she have to repeat it over and over again, as if she was trying to make herself believe that there was no other reason?
***
This time before she entered, she knocked on the door. But when she pushed upon the door and entered, she found that Malfoy once again seemed to be fast asleep, but this time on the bed.
She smiled. Did he really think that she would buy it? She had already fallen for that trick once, she was not about to do it again. Her smile grew into a devious grin, as she thought of the perfect way to 'wake Malfoy up'. She walked soundlessly to the front of the bed where his head lay, and slowly, quietly reached for his nose; when she was rudely disrupted by a pair of arms that had shot out and wrapped itself around her slender waist, lifting her effortlessly to come to rest on top of Malfoy.
"Hello again, Granger. So eager to start?"
Out of the darkness, she saw could dimly see the outline of his face, and a pair of silver eyes twinkling mischievously. She struggled, "Let me go!" but he kept a firm hold of her, keeping her wriggling mass firmly in his lap.
She couldn't see his expression, but she knew that he was clearly enjoying himself; she could hear it in his voice. "Now, now, I wouldn't want to bruise you, would I?" By now he had sat up and he could feel his breath against his ears as he drawled, "Keep still and I won't hurt you... much, my pretty."
He smiled in the darkness as he reached for his wand by the bedside, his other arm still wrapped firmly around her waist, keeping her from getting up. He was enjoying himself immensely. This was far different from any other of the times he had done it with a girl. Probably, because they weren't afraid of him—they came willingly. As he fumbled in the darkness for his wand, he could feel her shoulders rigid against his chest. She wasn't struggling anymore, quite the opposite. She seemed to be staying curiously still.
***
Hermione stopped struggling. It was useless, he was simply too strong, she wouldn't be able to overpower him with brute strength. She cursed silently, why didn't she bring her wand along with her? She knew this would be trouble...Of course, there was that one thing that she could still do. He was after all, still a boy. She was about to make her move when suddenly he removed one arm from around her waist, she sucked in her breath and renewed her struggling, hoping to break his hold. Bloody hell, with one arm, Malfoy was still a lot stronger than her. She knew that he was a seeker, but he had always looked so pale and wiry, she didn't think he would actually have this much strength.
Then she paused a second, as her curiosity got the better of her. What would happen if she stayed? She knew what he wanted, and he had certainly given her enough hints for her to know that it wasn't her beaten to a bloody pulp. Maybe she could stay a while and play his 'game'. If need be, she could always off him in the middle of it and run away. He would probably have his guard down later anyway. She decided to stay, after all, she was more than a little afraid, but bravery isn't one thing that a Gryffindor lacks.
Besides, it could turn out to be very interesting...
***
This was interesting, he thought as his fingers closed in on the tip of the wand. Was she trying to be brave? Valiant attempt at being in brave, but her body language gave it away. The entire length of her back was pressed against his chest as he leant forward to pick up the wand. "Granger, maybe you should relax a little. Your back seems to be a little stiff."
At this, he heard a little huff of indignation, but at the same time her back became a little less stiff.
Humph. Who was he to tell her that her back was stiff? She suddenly felt quite brave. Her fear seemed to be disappearing, almost as if she was becoming.... At ease with Malfoy (?) As for her back being stiff, anybody would feel uncomfortable being in such close proximity with someone whom they dislike. Especially if that's person's body were pressed against the entire length of their back and you could feel them breathing down your neck.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to relax. Ok, slow down. Slow down. Maybe there was another reason why she stayed. Maybe she was more than a little curious. She tried to take another deep breath, but it wasn't really working, what with Malfoy's chin on her shoulder has he tried to reach for something. Taking in another deep breath only meant taking in another good whiff at the scent of his herbal shampoo and spicy aftershave. Her heart was racing, and her thoughts were a mess. There was definitely something more than fear. She was nervous because this was her first time… but why did it feel like she was actually beginning to enjoy this?
"Lumos!"
When she opened her eyes the entire room had been illuminated by a soft yellow light.
"There, much better isn't it?" he drawled putting down the wand and turning his attention back to her. He drank in her wavy brown hair that flowed down her back in silk waves, and the smooth peaches and cream complexion of her skin. "Now what fun would it be, if we couldn't see each other?" he whispered into her ear, tickling her with his breath.
He saw her practically everyday, but never before at such a close distance. She wasn't the most beautiful girl in the magical realm, but stunning was close enough. Testing her trust, he slowly removed his arm from around her waist, but she didn't attempt to run away. Then he rested his hand on her calf, pulling up the hem of her robe till it reached her knee. While his other hand played with the strands of her silken brown hair, which was indeed as soft as it looked, then gently tucked the loose strands behind her right ear and swept her long hair neatly over her left shoulder. She felt him breathing against her neck and shoulder and tensed. Then she felt his lips brush against her ear. "This is your first time, isn't it?"
Before she could reply, he felt his lips brush touch her neck. She closed her eyes, and felt him continue to leave a trail of kisses down her neck. As he kissed her, he felt the tension in her neck melt away.
Then he paused to pull down her robs, watching them fall neatly till her waist, before reaching to the front to unbutton her shirt, his patience wore thin as he fumbled to unbutton it, She gently peeled away his hands and to his surprise, deftly unbuttoned half her shirt. "Hmm..."
Until that moment, she had been passive, merely allowing him to touch her, but not responding to his touches even though she felt her skin tingle wherever he touched her, and already her neck was beginning to bruise in the places where he had bit down too hard.
He pushed away her shirt, letting it slide down her shoulders so he could get at her neck, and continued nibbling and kissing her neck. His hands slowly running up and down her arms causing her to shiver involuntarily. Her fear turned him on, but her tenaciousness despite this being the first time…
Finally he lowered her gently to the bed, and with one swift motion, threw his robes over his head and tossed it away.
After she watched him remove his robes, she too wriggled out of her own robes and skirt dropping it neatly beside the bed. He smiled when he saw her remove her robes, undoing his shirt at the same time. But in his smile there was no mirth, his eyes remained cold and hard, and there she saw only lust. She knew she was being used, but she didn't care anymore.
He moved on top of her, pinning her down with his arms and legs, she closed her eyes as his kisses begin to move downward until he was nibbling the edges of her bra, and tugging at the straps. She thought he was going to undo her bra, when he suddenly seemed to change his mind, and his kisses begin to move upwards towards her face, all the while getting more urgent. When he reached her face he paused for a moment and pulled his face further away from her, as if to take a good look at her first.
Honestly, he didn't know why suddenly changed his mind, his body wasn't even listening to his mind anymore. His heart was pounding, and as he kissed her chest, he could hear it beating in sync with his, and then something snapped, and he didn't know why but had a sudden urge to kiss her.
Her eyes widened, when she saw the look in his eyes, he probably didn't realize it. But there was something different. She couldn't explain it, but there was something else there besides the primal lust seen earlier but she didn't have anymore time to think, because a split second later his mouth was pressed against hers.
She expected them to be as forceful and passionate, like the rest had been before. But instead they were slow and gentle, almost questioning, and before long she felt herself responding to them, wrapping her arms around his neck.
He cupped his hands around her face as his kisses deepened and grew more urgent. The dull pang that he had felt in his heart all this while disappeared. Soon he found himself devouring her lips hungrily. For the moment it just felt so right, he almost felt … happy.
Then somewhere deep in his brain, it registered that it might not just be lust that was causing him to kiss her with such fervor.
He felt another tug deep in this heart; only this time it clearly did not make him happy, and was insisting that he stop kissing her.
Draco ignored in and continued to kiss her with even more vigor, basking in the momentary sense of euphoria it gave him, electricity shooting through his skin as her hands which had moved under his shirt, moved along the side of his body until they came to rest on his lower back, making slow circles.
Until it was practically screaming at him to stop.
***
Abruptly, he pulled away from her, forcing her to release her hold on him.
What was that that he felt just now? It felt almost like pain, but it was definitely not pain, he knew what pain felt like. He replayed the scene in his head and felt the sudden tug, deep in his heart. What was that feeling that he felt, that stopped him from continuing?
Hermione looked up at him in surprise, her chest still heaving from the exertion. She didn't say anything, but as he watched her, his face still inches apart from hers, he could see the mixture of confusion and concern that clouded her eyes. He wanted to say something to her, but he could not find the words to day it... because he realized that he didn't know what he wanted to say.
He had pulled away from her, but not completely. His arms still pinned her to the sofa and his lower body straddling hers, panting heavily. He seemed as if he wanted to say something, but through his ragged breathing, all she could hear were incoherent syllables. He seemed to be hesitating, as their eyes gained focus and locked on to each other, she watched his steely eyes slowly transform, slowly the blank mask that he had used to conceal out all his emotions fell away into the darkness. The more she stared, the more emotions she saw swirling in the depths. Besides the confusion and pain, she saw lust; he longed to continue what had started off as just a game, at the same she saw fear, fear of what she could not tell. But most of all, the pain, oh god, the pain...the pain that threatened to swallow up all others. She saw the battle raging in his mind, and suddenly she understood where the fear in his eyes stemmed from and she could see him fighting it with every ounce of his will. It seemed like they had been staring into each others eyes for an eternity, but neither one of them made a move to end it.
Suddenly it seemed to her like she had never really known him before, only a shell, a shadow of the boy whose eyes silently pleaded her to take away all the pain.
For the first time, she thought she saw the real person that lived behind those cold silver eyes, and at that very moment, he looked very much as if he was going to cry.
Oh Merlin, if she could she would have given up anything, if only she could have washed away all the pain, because he looked so very fragile. She reached her hand up to stroke his cheek, but he recoiled at her touch and pulled away entirely.
He moved away from her and sat at the edge of the bed, his back faced towards her. His whole body was shaking, and his pulse was still racing. He felt his cheek still tingling from her touch. At that very moment, when she touched his cheek, it felt like electricity shot through every part of his body, the feeling that he had been trying so hard to ignore, pierced his heart, and he could not continue. He clenched his fists and closed his eyes, silently willing himself to regain composure.
At first, she didn't understand why he had pulled away, and she called out to him, but he did not respond. Finally a few moment moments, his cold voice cut through the silence.
He clenched his fists and forced himself to stay calm, praying that she wouldn't see that he was still shaking. Even as he talked to her, he refused to face her. If he saw the expression in her eyes, he knew that he would falter, and she would be able to see right through his lie.
Even as he spoke, he could feel his throat begin to close up, but he was determined not to let her know how he felt. "I've had enough. I don't want to continue. Please leave."